July 25, 2006

Bowls? Really? Bowls?

You guys should have told me how strongly you felt about bowls. God, here I’ve been going on and on about babies and ill-fitting jeans and lube and dog fur and getting all kinds of weird search engine referrals for things I swear I did not write (today’s freaky google hit as of 3 hours ago: “I wanna fuck my pregnant sister in law”; on a whim I just searched for that myself and would you believe the first hits are not porn related at all, but rather posts by, respectively, Julie, Julia, Amalah, and Jen? My personal blogosphere is taking over the entire internet, which is both awesome and faintly disturbing) when all along I should have been talking about BOWLS.

Like this one!


It’s enormously huge and I use it for eating vats of pho.

And this one!


It’s eentsy-weentsy and I use it for feeding Riley, or as a dipping bowl for soy sauce and wasabi, or for pretending I’m being dainty while devouring multiple servings of something super fattening.

Don’t forget my fanciest, most attractive-yet-spectacularly-utilitarian container of all!


Oh yeah. I totally eat out of plastic beer cups sometimes. None of this fussbudget Goldilocks too-shallow too-opaque too-candy-dish-70s servingware namby-pambiness for me, dammit, I’ll take a feedbag if you’ve got one.

I used to think JB was weird, not only for his distaste for our green glass bowls (you know…the UGLY ONES?) but also for his behavior regarding the larger of our two spoon sizes, which he refers to as “cow spoons” because they are tooooo big.

“I don’t want a cow spoon,” he’ll say, staring in dismay at the utensil, which is a perfectly normal sized spoon, a “place spoon” I believe, versus the smaller teaspoon sized spoon. It actually affects his eating experience in a negative way. A SPOON that is not misshapen, not a SPORK, not ugly or covered in spikes or dripping with antifreeze, but this exact spoon:


…instead of the preferred spoon, the superior spoon, the non-cow-spoon:


(See the difference? Oh, you don’t? Because it’s, like, MICROSCOPIC?)

Anyway, now I’m guessing that there are many of you who would wholeheartedly agree that the size difference would fuck up your entire meal and turn the creme brulĂ©e to ashes – yea, ashes! – in your mouth.

I’d call you freaks, but I guess we all have our own special issues: for instance, I can’t be separated from a tube of Burt’s Bees for more than twenty minutes without clawing at my mouth and screaming. Live and let live, I say. But if you come for dinner, do let me know if the COW SPOON bothers you.


In other news, the last bugaboo of the remodel work is coming together this week. Behold, tile! Which we decided not to do ourselves, because while we may be picky about lip balm and glass bowls, we are not, as it turns out, completely batshit insane.



92 Responses to “The spoon of moo, and other assortments”

  1. AmyW on July 26th, 2006 9:28 am

    I would totally eat cereal out of the Koi bowl. :)

    The tile looks wonderful!!

  2. Annie on July 26th, 2006 9:40 am

    Your problem is that you’ve offered him too many choices. I bet when he was a bachelor, he had maybe three of each item, possibly in asorted sizes, and simply used whichever was least nasty when he was hungry. Now you’ve confronted him with an array of dining options and he’s gone and formed opinions. I once bought square plates and my husband said, “What are we going to use those for?” Uh, eating? Now they are his favorite plates.

  3. kali on July 26th, 2006 10:12 am

    ah- if ever i came to your house to eat, i would gladly take WHATEVER spoons, bowls, or other eating implements you offered. they are all lovely and functional.

  4. Rachel on July 26th, 2006 10:35 am

    Long-time lurker here, forced to speak up

    Spoons=whichever, although bigger, more food, yay!

    Plastic cups=great for eating leftover lasagna on the beach

    Cheese=must be room temperature, tastes WAY better

    Glass vs plastic drinking glasses=GLASS

    I can’t drink pop out of the can. I have to pour it into a glass with plenty of ice. And the pop has to be cold first, before i pour it into the glass with ice. yes. weird.

    and p.s. riley is the CA-UTEST baby EVER

  5. telegirl on July 26th, 2006 11:20 am

    OK, couple things. The husband and I will eat off of whatever is available and/or clean (goes for both the spoons and the bowls), and our cow spoons are easily twice the size of our teaspoons. JB should never visit our household!

    And, to Sonia: my dad is kind of a jar guy, too. So my Mom got these cool drinking jars. Yay, happy medium! And no dribbling. :o)

  6. Ashley on July 26th, 2006 11:34 am

    Wow who knew people had such different tastes in tableware? *no pun intended*

    I eat with whatever bowl is clean, and whatever spoon is clean. If the spoon seems too big, it’s not required that I fill the spoon with the choice item I am eating, I just don’t fill the spoon up. I’ve never noticed the taste of a metal spoon, nor do I care what kind of cup I drink from. :shrug:

  7. wealhtheow on July 26th, 2006 11:44 am

    I have those EXACT spoons. And strangely enough, I prefer the cow spoon. I get better coverage with my cereal, and it allows my soup to cool nicely while I’m bringing it to my mouth. Also, they are they preferred spoon for ice cream because I can pretend I am dainty and am taking itty bitty amoounts of ice cream on my spoon. Regardless, you are correct–the size difference between the teaspoon and the soup spoon (which shall now be referred to as “cow spoon” in my household) for this particular set is the smallest I’ve ever seen.

  8. Jen on July 26th, 2006 12:43 pm

    Oh, I HATE the larger spoons. I make my boyfriend use them while I have the smaller ones. And have you tried the new Burt’s Bees Honey Lip Balm. It’s to die for.

  9. Staci on July 26th, 2006 2:51 pm

    Hey, all the talk of cow spoons made me think of a funny story.

    Two years ago we had a huge Christmas dinner for extended family. We set up two long tables and used all the fancy china, linens and silver and even place cards. Well, we ran out of the fancy silver with one plate to go. I didn’t want to use our non matching stainless steel everyday kind so at my dad’s place setting I used the giant serving spoon, the giant serving fork (have you seen those… HUGE!) and one of those knives with the sharp pointy ends (don’t know the name). When we all sat down to dinner I watched my dad and you should have seen the look on his face… priceless! And he even attempted to use the giant fork and spoon to eat! I think he thought he had to. Ah, happy memories!

  10. Gentry on July 26th, 2006 2:57 pm

    In the privacy of my home, I only use salad forks. Regular forks are too heavy. And the small Slurpy straw spoons are a hundred times more annoying than the Wendy’s spoon. And they’re too sharp.

  11. Lubiee on July 26th, 2006 4:37 pm

    Speaking of Wendy’s..I cannot eat there because of the square hamburgers. Just plain wrong.

  12. pippa on July 26th, 2006 5:55 pm

    Oh, you have NO idea about silverware angst. NONE. G got some massive set of super-heavy silver when he left for college that I SWEAR TO GOD is made of iron or something. And he will NOT allow to be replaced. I finally resorted to adding the pattern to my Replacements pattern listing notification, and recently CLEARED THEM OUT when they got a bunch of it in stock. I paid more for some extra spoons and forks than I think I paid for my Targetware dishes, etc. for a service for TWELVE. Men… they need serious help.

  13. sooboo on July 26th, 2006 8:51 pm

    In my house, those cow spoons are great for scooping coffee, but that’s about it.

  14. Amy on July 26th, 2006 10:10 pm

    Must eat with large pronged fork. Small ones are evil…

  15. thejunebug on July 27th, 2006 1:42 am

    My husband will also not eat from the cow spoons. Neither will my mother. I prefer the cow spoons, and I set the table, so they can just EAT WITH THEM AND SUFFER.

  16. SalGal on July 27th, 2006 8:15 am

    I love “cow spoons”! Too funny. We have disagreements over the proper serving vessel and utensil to use when eating a dessert that includes both cake/cobbler/pie and ice cream. My husband MUST have a fork and can’t possibly imagine why when you NEED a spoon to get all the melty goodness at the bottom of the BOWL (not plate as he would choose). He’s clearly insane.

    I also must have a glass (not mug or plastic cup) for milk and said glass must NEVER contain ice. What are people thinking with that?!? My other peeve is: The Ubiquitous LEMON To quote Sundry, “W the proverbial F” is with the lemons in everything?!? Tea? Not my choice but, Ok, I get it. Water? You’re pushing it. If I wanted watered-down sour lemonade, I’d have ordered it. But now BEER? Get the fuck outta here with your damn lemons already! If people want lemons, let they ask for them. Don’t make me ask for everything I drink to be brought WITHOUT SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T BELONG THERE ANYWAY. I’m also clearly insane.

  17. Magpie on July 27th, 2006 8:45 am

    Moooooo! MOOOO!

    I’m with JB on this one, though I know better than to try to cram the whole damn spoon in my mouth. Because if I try to eat something with it the correct way, I *will* spill.

    And Apivita Propoline lip balm is my Burt’s Bees, after chancing upon a tube in Greece. That stuff is THE SHIT.

  18. Stacey on July 27th, 2006 11:36 am

    I am so with you on the Burt’s Bees. After losing mine a few times and positively going out of my mind, I finally bought seven or eight of them and stashed them in all the places where I find myself needing them. Just thinking about it right now makes me need to go put some on …

    We only use the cow spoon at our house when we run out of the smaller spoons (which seems to happen all too often, because though we registered for eight placesettings when we got married, it doesn’t take too long to go through eight clean spoons at our house). Eating with the big spoon is somewhat of a miserable experience, though my husband seems to hate it more than I. I wish placesettings weren’t so rigid; I’d much rather have a bunch of little spoons than eight gigantic spoons we never even use.

  19. lee on July 27th, 2006 7:00 pm

    i had a roommate who complained my spoons hurt his mouth. turned out the fucker was eating with the fucking sugar shell!

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