August 9, 2006

Let me ask you something: why do I see so many search strings for “sundry mourning”, “”, “all & sundry sundrymourning”, etc? Is it because someone can’t remember my URL so they’re looking for me via google, or are they hoping to unearth some shameful secret about me from another site, like “I heard the chick from has a tail”?

Well, fine. Fine, you want to see my tail? Fuck it, I’m not keeping this to myself any longer, you were going to find it on the internet somewhere, so FINE, here you go:


Yes, that oddly masculine buttock is mine. And that’s my….uh, tail, emerging like a fleshy Armour hot dog from the vicinity of my left butt cheek, and I’m not ashamed, dammit, and–

Actually, if that were really my tail you’re fuckin-A I’d be ashamed. God, look at that thing. It’s totally freaking me out. You think it has muscles and stuff, like can it be wagged, or used in some prehensile manner, perhaps to hold an umbrella, or?

Also, speaking of internet weirdness, I hate to take up valuable space I could be using to post poached web photos of human deformities which may or may not be real, BUT…for the reader leaving me comments signed with my first and last name, or my work email address? Quit with the passive-agressive lame-ass “Hey Linda I know who u are OMG!” crap and either grow some fuzz on your peaches and say hello, or piss off back to your World of Warcraft night-elf-strokefest. What am I supposed to be over here, impressed?

Anyway, moving on to awesomer subjects (shut up, if “liveblogging” is an acceptable term, then I declare “awesomer” King’s Fucking English), I’m pretty sure I’ve isolated Riley’s first word: backpack.

Okay, it’s more like “ba pa”; I suppose I could be mistaking those sounds for “backpack” when in fact he’s trying to say “Gônoprojatontri Bangladesh” – but come on, the boy consistently crawls directly into the sliding glass door, I doubt he’s got a grip on his South Asia countries just yet.

He’s been making those “backpack” sounds for a while, usually when we get out the backpack carrier and repeatedly ask him “Do you want to ride in the backpack? Do you? You DO?” (which has resulted in the dog losing her tiny Chiclet brain altogether every time one of us puts the carrier on now, because who thinks they’re going for a walk? SHE DOES! SHE DOES!), but yesterday on the way home from daycare I randomly asked Riley if he would like to go in the backpack when we got home, and he clearly said “Ba pa?” in response.

My money’s on “da da” as the next recognizable word because god knows his dad hoists the sun every morning and blows the moon out every night as far as Riley’s concerned. Maybe I’ll hear “ma ma” someday in the future after he moves on to “da ee” (doggie) or “bahl” (bottle) or “aheedehstahbiahem” (antidisestablishmentarianism), if I’m lucky.


66 Responses to “Units of language”

  1. Nona on August 10th, 2006 6:43 pm

    My daughter’s first word was “hair.” Followed by “apple.” So Riley gets bonus cool points for back pack-that’s awesome!

    I guess I’m the only one who loves freak shows-the tails are great. (Don’t want one, wouldn’t want to touch one, but stare-from-afar? Sure!)

  2. Ali on August 11th, 2006 7:07 am

    Ok I google you at times because of not paying attention to where my cursor is when typing your addy. But I have to remind everyone that even though you don’t have it in your address bar history, all your websites you visit is still in your history folder. I work in the IT field so helpful tip. ALWAYS clear your history folder. :o)

    Oh and Human Tails??? *shudders*

  3. amber on August 11th, 2006 11:17 am

    Those pictures! Please! Take them away!

  4. dorrie on August 11th, 2006 12:10 pm

    GAH!!!! Make the tails go away!!!

  5. Jessica on August 11th, 2006 12:53 pm

    Those tailsl ook like penises put on the wrong side. Freaky.

  6. katie d on August 13th, 2006 7:55 am

    I have you direct-linked from katiedoyle, but I did have to google “sundry mourning” about 2 months ago. Also, that’s lame of whomever is ghosting your comments. I had someone I didn’t know even knew about my blog refer to me by my nomme de plume just out of the blue one day, and it was a little shocking. Turns out a mutual friend had told him about my blog, and I had words with that person about a little thing called privacy, but it freaked me out a little to find out he knew about it that way, rather than “hey, so I’ve been reading your blog…”.

  7. Charles Jackson on January 14th, 2007 2:15 am

    Google is the best search engine

  8. Anonymous on March 29th, 2007 6:05 am


  9. A 15 YR OLD GIRL on March 29th, 2007 6:11 am

    could this amke a connection towards religion. Please dont write stupid comment u silly idotic ppl. U lot r sick as it is!!!!!!!!!!!
    This is something unique, its not bizzare, u cant get it 2 go away, becoz its a natural thing. These ppl with the tails are lucky and unique, i guess if ppl want 2 silly things like, “get it away from here”, they should not have the ordasity 2 visit this very unique site.
    Now have a luk at u n me, ur probably what, 25,56, 60, somewhere around that age, and im only 15, how immature can u ppl get, SICK HEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Anonymous on March 29th, 2007 6:14 am


  11. Anonymous on April 4th, 2007 3:49 am

    no problem, its sure good you’ve learnt something, unlike some inbeciles

  12. qdklcieamc on June 18th, 2007 6:29 pm

    Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! serzomlxps

  13. Amber on August 14th, 2007 7:28 pm

    I actually found footage of this man having his tail handled by some Asian ladies. Here’s the link. Enjoy.

  14. pa on August 24th, 2007 7:52 pm

    is this real and is it your tail

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