August 28, 2006

This weekend something really, really beautiful happened: we got the plumbing all hooked up in the new bathroom. Which meant that last night I took a bath in the massive new tub for the first time. And lo, a choir of angels did sing down from the heavens, and I stayed in there until I pruned up and got that woozy hot tub feeling.

The remodel has now officially been worth it. Say hallelujah.

The plumbing was completed just in time (side note: the plumber we used is a guy who worked for a “cash price” [nudge nudge, wink wink, *coughunreportedincomecough*] of $300, vs. the astronomical $4500 price that Beacon Plumbing – a large local business – quoted us. I hate that shit, the fact that you can either get royally screwed right in the outbox or get a fabulous deal, depending on the contractor you happen to find), because our months of use has taken its toll on the guest bathroom. The hot water faucet in that shower has become progressively broken, with water leaking and running out the side of the knob. JB had taken it apart to try and fix it, but this morning, shortly after turning on the water, he came bolting out of the bathroom naked. “Not good, not good!” he kept saying as he yanked on a pair of shorts and ran outside to turn off the water.

I still don’t know exactly what happened, but when I looked in there I saw this:

faucethole.jpg

Except there was a firehose of hot water blasting out of that hole, directly across the tub. Which I suppose might be pleasant, if you enjoy a robust, piping-hot enema in the morning.

So we both used the new shower this morning, which is spacious and lovely and does not provide unwanted colon irrigation. Hooray!

Now we just need a shower door, a bathroom door, and a toilet. Also…maybe some flooring.

towelwalk.jpg

And for no reason, here is a picture of a baby in a sink (because my cat would never put up with that shit):

82706_sink.jpg

In other news, Riley is maybe working on another tooth, because oh my god. The crankiness. The screaming. Also, the food-batting, where any looming spoon or food item is furiously smacked, sending flying goo across the kitchen. I can’t tell you how grateful I’ve been for Dog lately, because she basically comes in like Mr. Wolf in Pulp Fiction and cleans up the crime scene after each failed feeding attempt. I’ve considered just putting the tray from Riley’s highchair on the ground for her to lick afterwards, but I suppose that would be Taking Things Too Far.

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Caitlin
Caitlin
17 years ago

He has little BOY hands!!

Zoot
Zoot
17 years ago

Thats funny, because to me? Putting the tray on the floor is just the first step of after-dinner clean-up. I’ve decided that putting the BABY on the floor would be Taking Things Too Far.

warcrygirl
17 years ago

Sometimes when I’m too lazy to vacuum or sweep I’ll let our dog in the house and VOILA! No more crumbs! Unless, of course, that falls under Taking Things Too Far in which case it never happened. I used to have a cat that would sleep in our bathroom sink. Go figure.

Kathryn
Kathryn
17 years ago

Well who the hell DOESN’T appreciate a robust, piping-hot enema first thing in the morning? Nothing takes care of that coffee problem better, right?

Amie
17 years ago

Gah, teething. My son has three teeth that have been all trying to pry their way out at the same time, and I’m starting to suspect another one or two are also making an appearance.

felicia
17 years ago

we had that exact same thing happen to our tub, but it was on thanksgiving…and JUST as it happened, our guests showed up. good times!

Kym
Kym
17 years ago

Oh my gosh, I think I might be the first to comment! And this is my first ever comment, too!
Hi Sundry, I’m a bellydance friend of Chiara’s and have been reading you for quite a while now. I love every single entry you have ever written, no lie. I am a mom of three boys, 17, 14 and 5 yrs and can appreciate all the joys and sorrows and challenges and milestones you face every day because I have lived most ever one myself. I got pregnant with my first when I was 20, it saved my life. Hardest thing I’ve ever done, but the best.
Anyhoo, good luck with your plumbing. I grew up in houses that were always in a state of remodel because my dad did all the work himself. When I moved away from home I honestly couldn’t comprehend paying someone to fix something for me, my Daddy always did it. What a shocker, the first time I had to go to a mechanic or call a plumber!
And I am a firm believer in calling the Dog for cleanup duty. One should never have babies without a dog, too. How could we possibly keep the floors clean, otherwise? My kids are so trained, whenever they spill they immediately yell for the dog, haahaaa.

Kym
Kym
17 years ago

Ohhh, took to long sending my comment and wasn’t first, darn it!

omuchacha
omuchacha
17 years ago

Oh the food swat! I have a swatter too! In fact, just last night I made my 10 month old CRY because I scolded him a little too well for the flying glob of food that launched right onto my pants leg. (His aim is incredible, I tell you!) Who knew that “Grant, No!” said with conviction would earn me the open mouthed stare of horror that melts into unconsolable crying? Certainly not me!! And my mom says duct taping his arms down while feeding him is bad form. What is one supposed to do about the swatting then?

fifi
fifi
17 years ago

Heh, I just put the pot I’d cooked the dinner in, onto the floor, to allow our dog to “pre-clean” it.
Obviously, it gets washed carefully by less canine means, later… Oh, and I second the commenter who noticed Riley’s little-boy hands. They look sort of – capable, and workmanlike, in a good way. Like, help for the DIY is on the way, a few years down the line!

mom on a wire
17 years ago

This would be a perfectly hilarious entry if not for the disturbing visual I get from the phrase “robust, piping-hot enema”.

Pam
Pam
17 years ago

I always get Jack (my beagle) to “help” me with the dishes. I require all beings to carry their weight around here, and so he came up with “Rinsing” The Dishes, and Catching Bugs, all on his own! He’s a smart guy.

Also, I saw your boy’s fingers and immediately decided he shall be a piano player.

Ezza
17 years ago

Heh! Now is your water main in the backyard or the front? Some of your neighbors might have gotten quite a sight this morning. Naked man + running = the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen.

jen
jen
17 years ago

that’s like my worst nightmare at a hotel or strange shower, that the knob would just explode off, hitting me in the head and killing me and leaving my fat naked scalded body in a puddle for everyone I know to ogle. Until today, I had talked myself into the notion that that’s pretty impossible based on how plumbing works. THANKS A LOT!

;)

brid
brid
17 years ago

you crack my shit up.

Ha, that doesn’t sound like such a great compliment, but it IS.

TB
TB
17 years ago

Yeah! It’s going to look awesome when it’s finished. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter!

MRW
MRW
17 years ago

Doesn’t everyone with a dog let them “prerinse” the dishes? No? Well . . . neither do I, really, I don’t. Nor do I rely on dog to lick the food my kid drops off the floor. My child certainly doesn’t call for the dog as a matter of habit as soon as he drops any food on the floor. Ahem…

erin
17 years ago

My husband took to calling the dog Hoover. There is really no taking things to far, I don’t think, in the pursuit of clean. Or at least, the appearance of clean.

Stephanie
17 years ago

uh Ha! I have put the boys tray down on the floor, just so the labrador can lick it. And the cheerios..I leave them in a pile for her on the floor, is that so bad?

Jem
Jem
17 years ago

I let one of my cats have one lick of my finished icecream plate last night. Now that I know it is almost socially acceptable, he can have two licks next time…

Kat
Kat
17 years ago

My dog knows where to sit during dinner, right under my youngest son’s chair. And let me tell you, not one crumb or dropped article of food is left for more than a second on the floor, if it even hits the floor.
And your description of a scalding hot enema almost had my husband spew coca-cola all over his LCD screen when I read it out loud to him. ha ha.

Sabine
17 years ago

I love *those* kind of contractors. I have one remodeling my bath currently. Hooray for the cheap under the table labor. That sounds kind of naughty. Or you and JB might be rubbing off on me.

Colleen
Colleen
17 years ago

Mr. Wolf. Heh.

Mona
17 years ago

So I guess I should be freakin’ if I call Beacon?

Pete
Pete
17 years ago

My wife had a contractor do our upstairs bathroom a couple of years ago. We ended up taking him to court so we could waste money on a lawyer too. Anyway, the shower he build started to leak today and is destroying my living room ceiling. :-(
Most contractors suck. At least I get to redo the bedroom/bathroom and put in a whirlpool tub.

JennB
17 years ago

That feeling you’re describing? It’s officially called “oogy”.
Pronounced OOOOOO-GEEEEEEEE (hard “g”)

HollowSquirrel
17 years ago

Yes, I do in fact love a hot enema in the morning. heeeelarious.

Jennifer
17 years ago

So Cat doesn’t like sinks? That’s wierd. Because my cat (the one that wouldn’t tolerate being “petted” by a child with a smile and a purr) won’t get out of the bathroom sink. Even when I turn on the water. He loves it in there, and woe unto he who tries to brush his teeth.

Trance
17 years ago

Babiesinsinks.com – great idea.

jonniker
17 years ago

“Unwanted colon irrigation”

Dear God.

sunShine
17 years ago

Love the baby in the sink! He is just adorable.

sweetney
17 years ago

hey… what have you got against a robust, piping-hot morning enema?!?

snorfle.

Audra
Audra
17 years ago

Oh dear, you just reminded me of our plumbing fiasco during our bathroom remodel. We had a shower plumbed in (our tub only had a faucet) and the next day i walked into my living room to an indoor rainshower falling gently from my ceiling. And it cost 1.2 grand. Your under the table deal = TOTAL AWESOMENESS. God, how i hate plumbers more than is probably legal. Riley looks so cute in the sink – it kind of looks like he’s sitting in a very tiny bathtub he outgrew, wondering why all of a sudden he’s so uncomfortable….

divnemissk
17 years ago

“I’ve considered just putting the tray from Riley’s highchair on the ground for her to lick afterwards, but I suppose that would be Taking Things Too Far. ”

really, i see nothing wrong with that- and i don’t even have kids….

Stacy Coverly
17 years ago

Google is the best search engine

Ken
Ken
17 years ago

So did you learn anything? Maybe the contractor that gave you the realistic pricing estimate would have installed things correctly and been done on time???? You homeowners crack me up. Champagne doesn’t come on aber budget, pal.. wink wink nudge nudge

Shower trays UK
16 years ago

haha love your post! been ripped off as well when trying to find a decent plumber, they think they can just get away with every price they quote!