September 6, 2006

I’ve been listening to a lot of really good music lately, thanks to you guys. Snow Patrol, Keane, Imogen Heap, Goldfrapp, The Sounds, Some Girls, OK Go…my iPod has been completely rejuvenated.

Embarrassingly, this morning I chose to bypass all those quality tunes in favor of Guns N’ Roses, in order to sing along with “Rocket Queen” at the top of my damn lungs. Do you ever pretend that the music you’re listening to is the soundtrack for a scene in a movie, starring you? Like:


LINDA sits behind the wheel, her eyes narrowed against the bright morning sunlight. She REACHES for the volume control on the car stereo and cranks it up.

I might be a little young but honey…

Outside, random OTHER DRIVERS cover their ears, pained expressions on their faces. BIRDS fall from the sky, stunned.

…I ain’t naiiiive…

Well, I didn’t say it would be a good movie.

So let’s pretend we’re all hanging around the water cooler here; boy, how about that Steve Irwin? What a sad, oddball reminder that we’re all just one random smiting away from the big dirt nap. I mean, here’s a guy who spent most of his life thrusting his face into the gaping maws of deadly crocodiles, yelling about how they’re real beauties and crikey what a ripper, and he dies not from being ground up as a crocbait but from a stingray, what the fuck. I swam with those things at Grand Cayman once, had I any idea they could barb you in the goddamn heart I probably would have done much less ray-petting and far more swimsuit-pooping.

We heard about the Crocodile Hunter story while we were at JB’s family’s cabin on Monday, and when JB’s brother was talking to JB’s mother on the phone (he was elsewhere) there was the following amusing exchange:

JB: “Tell Joe the crocodile hunter died!”
JB’s mom: “Oh, and Joe? Crocodile Dundee is dead.”
JB: “No, the croc hunter.”
JB’s mom: “Joe? The croco– the crocodile.”
Me (enjoying the confusion): “That’s not a knife.”
JB’s mom: “Just a minute, Joe. (to me) What?”
Me: (oblivious, talking to myself): “Heh. I see you’ve played knifey-spooney before.”
JB: “The crocodile hunter, Mom!”
JB’s mom: “Joe? Joe?”

Last night JB turned to me apropos of nothing and said, “Man, I am bummed about that crocodile guy”. I know what he means, it’s weirdly depressing. Maybe someone will make September 4 Croc Hunter Day and we can all wear khaki shorts in honor of Big Steve.


31 Responses to “Crikey, he was a beaut”

  1. miss noodle on September 6th, 2006 4:23 pm

    I totally imagine certain songs as soundtracks to my life. Can’t say that any of mine are Guns N’ Roses…but to each his own :) Glad to know I’m not the only one. As far as Steve Irwin…yes…what a powerful reminder that we could all go at any moment. Strangely depressing too…perhaps because he was such a goofy TV personality and died under such rare circumstances.

  2. Donna on September 6th, 2006 4:25 pm

    I know what he means, I really liked that guy. And every little kid I knew in the world loved him too, he was just so enthusiastic about everything. It sucks that this this happened, and I watched a thing on animal planet when their kids were born, and he was just so humble, and so touched, and just so fucking real. It breaks my heart that his little boy won’t remember him, he’ll just be someone on tv.
    My family made fun of me and were joking that I was channeling SteveO when I picked up a snake and showed him to all the little kids at the lake we were fishing at. They were thrilled. But I didn’t say Crikey, or what a beauty or anything. There will never be another Steve.

  3. samantha jo campen on September 6th, 2006 4:26 pm

    I imagine that my life is like The Truman Show and there are cameras all over watching my every move. I am the star. I am who everyone wants to see. Aaaaannnnd then I realize I’m a freak and get on with my day.

    I like the Croc Hunter Day with manditory khaki shorts. Would be a good tribute.

  4. Andy Lester on September 6th, 2006 4:44 pm

    Do you do the moaning along with “Rocket Queen” as well? I hope not.

  5. Teri M. on September 6th, 2006 5:10 pm

    My kid is going to kill me – I got rid of her Croc Hunter game… it’s totally would have been worth good money, now.
    Seriously, though…I feel so sad for his family.

  6. Christine on September 6th, 2006 5:53 pm

    I also do the soundtrack thing. Nice to know I’m not alone.

    And sweet baby J, I am unnaturally sad about the Crocodile Hunter. I mean, sure we had nothing in common, and if I had known him in real life I probably would have been mean, made jokes about his khakis and his enthusiasm, but it was just so NICE to know there were people out there who did what he did and were so SO happy about it.

    You start the campaign for Croc Hunter day. I’m so there.

  7. jonniker on September 6th, 2006 6:31 pm

    Ditto ditto ditto re: the soundtrack thing. I can get so caught up in it I catch myself gazing out the window like there’s a camera out there and a director screaming, “Give me emotion! Raw emotion! EMOTE! EMOTE!” and I put on my Dark Thoughtful Face.

    Ahem. I have taken this too far.

    Anyway, I am terribly unfazed by Irwin’s death, although a coworker of mine is endearingly heartbroken. He came in yesterday all atwitter, “I truly….felt….like…HE WAS TALKING TO ME. HE WAS TEACHING ME – *ME PERSONALLY* – ABOUT THE WORLD AND THE ENVIRONMENT.” {{sob}}

    And um, there are stingray warnings all over the beaches here. It’s stingray season through October, and we’re supposed to “shuffle our feet” to scare them away before stepping onto them. Needless to say, I’ve been afraid to swim, mostly, and when I do venture near the water, I leave my shoes on and shuffle like my life depends on it.

  8. Melissa on September 6th, 2006 7:15 pm

    I was depressed by his death too; especially when I think of his kids. By the way, the “swimsuit-pooping” comment…Priceless.

  9. missbanshee on September 6th, 2006 7:36 pm

    I admit that I’m really pretty heartbroken. It was his smile, I think, that did me in. That and the fact that he had two adorable kids he adored, and a true soulmate, no matter how tragic her bangs were. Sniffle!!!

  10. jonniker on September 6th, 2006 7:59 pm

    I feel compelled to visit again to note that Toby Rand dedicated his performance tonight on “Rockstar: Supernova” to Steve Irwin. I couldn’t help but laugh, which is evil. I’m evil! Oh god!

    Yes, I watch the show. Don’t judge me.

  11. CartwheelsAtMidnight on September 6th, 2006 8:39 pm

    Yeah, right?! I’m so glad you confessed because I’ve been a little embarrassed by my melancholy over the World sans Crocodile Hunter. Gah!

  12. Jenn on September 6th, 2006 8:53 pm

    “…had I any idea they could barb you in the goddamn heart I probably would have done much less ray-petting and far more swimsuit-pooping.”

    Oh my God, I laughed my ass off. Damn, you crack me up.

    It’s funny how someone you never knew can die and make you a little stunned or sad. He was just so jovial all the time and passionate about what he did, it’s a shame that happened.

  13. Staci on September 6th, 2006 9:51 pm

    “…I probably would have done much less ray-petting and far more swimsuit-pooping.”

    Hee! LOL!
    Can’t stop laughing… didn’t see that coming.

  14. honeybecke on September 6th, 2006 10:48 pm

    yeah, reading about his death with my morning coffee just wasn’t fun.
    i turned to my husband and said “…Crickey died!” it took him a minute to figure it out, but yeah.
    so sad. i love his daughters name- Bindi Sue. how cute is that?

  15. Philos on September 6th, 2006 11:54 pm

    I was the first to mention Goldfrapp, so I’m totally taking credit for that. Yay me!

    Sorry, I got nothing on Steve Irwin. It’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t affect me. Still, you fans have my sympathy.

  16. Allison on September 7th, 2006 2:57 am

    Well, here in Sydney, I think this Friday there’s some type of Crikey day where we wear something khaki in his memory.

  17. gnometree on September 7th, 2006 4:53 am

    Okay, as an Aussie. I have to say that steve was a great environmentlaist. but he annoyed the shit out of me. Most aussies aren’t like him. we don’t say “crikey” and “strewth”. We dont wear khaki shorts, and we don’t live with wild animals in our back yard.
    It is sad that he’s gone
    BTW a bindi in aus is a prickle/thorn, so I don’t like the name bindi. we have already christened his son crocodile bob and are singing it to the tune of crocodile rock by elton john.
    “I remember when Bob was young, Bindi Sue and him, had such fun…”

  18. Dana on September 7th, 2006 5:41 am

    And now I’ll be singing “Rocket Queen” and channeling my inner Axl ALL DAY.

    ROCK ON! \m/
    (rock n’ roll devil horns in TEXT no less!)

    Where’s my black eyeliner? I need hairspray, stat! Leather pants!
    (okay, maybe not that last one..)

  19. karmajenn on September 7th, 2006 6:07 am

    “one random smiting away from the big dirt nap” Sorry…I’m just going to have to steal that one.

    I’ll see your Guns n’ Roses, and up you one Christopher Cross song.

  20. Jennifer on September 7th, 2006 6:40 am

    I “went swimming” with those stingrays in Grand Cayman once too. I don’t know why I paid $50 to poop in my swimsuit (as you say), but on the cruise ship it sure sounded like a good idea. I just momentarily forgot that I am terrifed of water creatures while I was drinking $14 cocktails and signing up for activities, I guess. When we actually got there, I did get in the water with them, because I was all “I paid for this shit, now I”m gonna swim with some damn stingrays OR ELSE IT WOULD BE A WASTE” — for about 30 seconds, when a stingray touched my foot and I freaked out. Screaming took place. The tour people asked me to kindly leave the water and get back on the boat, as I was scaring the 6-year-old children who were trying to feed the nice sting rays.

    So I waited on the boat until all those crazy people were done and we went back on the cruise ship. While I was waiting on the boat with the bored tour dudes, they told me how every afternoon at about 4pm, a huge great white shark comes to eat the stingrays, since they’re all congregated in this one place. Sometimes she gets so greedy that she gets marrooned on the coral reef, and then they have to come out in the boat, throw some chains around her, and drag her back out to sea. She doesn’t worry, they said, she knows they’ll come and get her, that gluttonous shark. Oh, don’t worry honey. She never comes before 4. It’s only 2:30. Everything’s fine.

    So, I’m not surprised at all that the poor Croc Hunter got killed by a stingray. The ocean is a dangerous place.

  21. ang on September 7th, 2006 8:28 am

    I was bummed about the crocodile guy as well. Poor dude. My husband is a diver and he was all “Duude, see what can happen” and I went all insurance girl on his ass and told him he needed more life insurance.

  22. jennifer on September 7th, 2006 8:45 am

    steve irwin death is a huge loss for all the future generations who would have been potentially influenced by him. underneath his gimmicks and “crikey”s, he was a great ambassador for the environment and i am really sad that hes gone. nonetheless, he died doing what he loved which is more that i can say for myself. congestion along the fwy of LA will probably be the death of me.

  23. Anais on September 7th, 2006 8:54 am

    I totally pretend certain songs are soundtracks to my life all the time. I thought I was the only one who did that. lol


  24. Magpie on September 7th, 2006 10:39 am

    Re: OK Go: If you haven’t seen this yet, your life is not complete.

  25. Andrea on September 7th, 2006 12:36 pm

    When you swim with stingrays in organized events like the ones offered at big hotels they de-barb the stingray.

  26. LLL on September 7th, 2006 1:05 pm

    I must admit I also suffered from strange depression regarding the death of the croc hunter. Sometimes you feel that you get to know people even when you dont really (like most of us feel like we know you). Plus he just seemed like a good guy and was passionate about animals – which makes him extra good. For me, it mostly made me sad to think that his little boy will never get to know him…at all. The idea of my baby not getting to know me or my husband seems heartbreaking and so I am heartbroken for his children. Of course, they can watch thousands of hours of him on TV, but its not the same. Okay, now am feeling extra sad to think of kids being orhaned, must stop. Sigh….anyhow, JB is not alone in his unrelated bummedness.

  27. Jem on September 7th, 2006 5:38 pm

    I miss Steve. Hes a relative of one of my good friends so I just felt gutted the second I heard the news. I wish everyone cared about life and animals as much as he did.

  28. L on September 8th, 2006 10:50 am

    The Croc Hunter’s death is a reminder that regardless of how much we know or think we know, that ain’t no protection from the fact the we’re still part of something bigger than us, that’s not in our control. Not to get all new agey on you or anything. I’m just sayin’.

  29. samantha on September 8th, 2006 1:31 pm

    I have actually cried these past few days when I think about Steve Irwin. I can just see a picture of his kids and start bawling like a baby.

    I am sad for the children that idolized him. There are very few people in this world who are worthy of hero status. For everything that he did for animals and the environment, he earned the hero title.

  30. thejunebug on September 9th, 2006 6:23 am

    I feel awful for Terri, raising her kids alone now when it’s obvious they had such a close marriage. Not only that, my first job was in conservationism. Steve was a hero for all the attention he brought to the cause. I don’t ever recall being affected by a celebrity death like this, but maybe it’s because he seemed so invincible.

    And yeah. Totally staying away from the stingrays now.

  31. Josh on September 9th, 2006 2:31 pm

    Man, I totally know what you mean about being bummed ove Steve Irwin’s death. I really have no reason to be, but it still sucks. What a manly way to go though, pretty bad-ass!

    And on a side note, I actually got to feed stingrays at Grand Cayman when I was a lot youger, and no kidding about the swimsuit pooping. If I had only known, I might not have done it. I’m glad I did though, it was amazing experience. Crikey it was awesome!

Leave a Reply