I also had an abortion, at age 23, for much the same reasons – I had no college degree, no steady source of income, no health insurance, and a very dysfunctional and unsupportive family. I grew up as a result of my unintended pregnancy – it was the first truly adult decision I ever had to make. It was tragic. But it was also the right choice.

The day of my abortion, I was spoken to rudely by the doctors and nurses at the clinic, who saw me as an ignorant and careless girl, who, through her carelessness, had caused a tragedy. I was heckled by abortion protesters outside the clinic, who chanted, “Mommy, Mommy, where’s your baby?” at me. I remember one woman in particular, who yelled, “You left your baby inside, Mommy!”

But none of that got to me. I mean, I was angry as hell that people were abusive to me when I was suffering myself, and I was pissed to be condescended to and judged, but emotionally, I was ok.
Because during the abortion, with my feet in the stirrups, humilated and grieving and alone, I met God. It sounds so cheesy when I write it down, but I felt my spirit held in complete peace, love and understanding. I felt forgiveness. God made peace with me, and I made my peace with God.

I know that I denied the fetus I aborted life as we live it, and that responsibility lies with me, and me alone. But I did not deny it life. Life is something more than the bodies we live in.

I strongly agree with everyone who has said that every effort must be made to reduce the number of abortions performed in this country. I also know that there will always be some few times when the tragic choice is the right one, the only one to make. And who wants to let the government in to determine exactly when that is? Abortion needs to remain legal.

Whitters, you know I love you, boo, but I must assert that it’s a rather insane feat of rhetorical parsing to claim that fetuses, categorically, are not alive. Is there really a meaningful ontological difference between a born baby and that same “fetus” the day before its birth? That kind of literalist dogmatism detracts from your argument, yo.

Well, I personally don’t see where someone can say a three-week-old fetus is not human but an eight-week-old fetus is — the historical Christian notion of “ensoulment” varies from conception to the second trimester to even beyond. Is that a “meaningful ontological difference?”

I think with regards to this argument, our views of “personhood” and humanity are personal and subjective. My personal belief is that a fetus becomes “human” upon birth. The meaningful difference is that it is no longer relying upon a carrier (the woman) for its existence. I formed this belief years ago and only recently became aware that it’s also believed in Judaism.

For the record, I subscribe ardently to my homey Bill Clinton’s “safe, legal, and rare” school of pro-choiceness. I believe the choice to terminate a pre-viability pregnancy should always be legal, but that we are obligated to acknowledge the profound, complex ethical implications of the act. The failure to do so, I believe, chips away at our essential human-ness insidiously and deleteriously.

Linda, great post, and kudos on the level of civilized discourse here, commenters. Zoot sent me here and I am heartily impressed.

I didn’t know suicide was illegal either. That’s…completely nuts.

Suicide isn’t illegal in the United States and never has been, although some individual states did list it as a felony until the 1960s. (The United Kingdom decriminalized suicide in 1961, leading many other countries to follow suit.) What is illegal in many places in the USA is assisting someone to kill him- or herself.

Re: the pro-choice/anti-war argument
For me personally, this isn’t a contradiction. I’m pro-choice, anti-war, and anti-death-penalty. That’s because I don’t see a fetus as a human being, while I see soldiers and prisoners as human beings.

Anyway, I just had to weigh in. And let you know how wonderful I think you are, Linda. Your site has repeatedly made me laugh so hard I cried, and made me just plain flat-out sob. Is weird to feel so connected to a stranger, but you do such a great job of letting us in that I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. Please keep up the good work!

(As a total aside: I LOVED the quote about “soon to be famous writers” that JB made. I almost posted a comment back then, but couldn’t think of something worthy. And you SO are going to be.)

I just thought it was straight up fascinating. Did they have the weird solemn trancey music playing in the fetal area?

And yes, this was a very a nice thread of commentary.