December 1, 2006

It’s probably kind of awful to make a video of your child for the express purpose of poking fun at him, right?

In that case, here is a clip I found…uh, somewhere online. Yeah, just surfing around and stuff. I have no idea who the whimpery toddler is or why his parents mock his pain.

(Music: Conway Twitty, “Lonely Blue Boy”, for which I am grateful to Rob – he included this song on his 2003 JournalCon CD, and I thought of it the minute I started putting together these clips. I mean, um, I bet the godless heathen that made this cruel video did.)


P.S. Did anyone watch Survivor last night, and hear Jeff say, “420 is the magic number”? Dude! Probst, he does not sniff the coke he only smokes the sensimilla.


40 Responses to “Wahmbulance”

  1. stan on December 1st, 2006 9:57 am

    Yeah, I’m first!…. and this time I’ve got nothing to say !!!

  2. jen on December 1st, 2006 10:02 am

    hehe. you guys should so compile all of these clips and burn them to disc and give them to him at some later point, for instance his 25th birthday. ha!

  3. Mrs. Breedorf on December 1st, 2006 10:07 am

    O Woe woe floppy-bodied woe!

  4. warcrygirl on December 1st, 2006 10:12 am

    What good are kids if you can’t poke fun at them? Just wait until he’s five and when you laugh at his pain you get the quivering lower lip and the “stooooop laughing aaaaat meeeee!!!!” So much fun.

  5. Mary O on December 1st, 2006 10:14 am

    Too funny… and all too familiar for me lately. How is it that our sweet little babies turn into such whiny-pantses?

    Side question`

  6. Mary O on December 1st, 2006 10:15 am

    Sorry… my son was whining and distracted me.

    I was going to ask what kind of video camera you have, and do you like it? We are shopping around for one.

  7. Donna on December 1st, 2006 10:16 am

    Burn them to disc and play them at his 18th birthday party. Or 21st. Or his wedding. Or just casually have it on tv anytime he brings home a date. Yeah.
    Heh heh heh.

  8. eileen on December 1st, 2006 10:16 am

    “yes he’s very upset with you” phone call…

    very funny!

  9. sundry on December 1st, 2006 10:17 am

    Mary: we just use the video capture on our old camera, a Fuji FinePix. The quality is pretty crappy, but it’s useful for these short little clips.

  10. Alex on December 1st, 2006 10:42 am

    That cracked me up. Love it.

  11. Shelly on December 1st, 2006 10:46 am

    Clearly your boy leads a tragic and very deprived life.

  12. pippa on December 1st, 2006 11:09 am

    The BEST is the utter lack of empathy my own little Wendy Whiner has!

    Mid-rant, I was reading and clicked the play button… soon chortles of laughter could be heard. She laughs at other babies’ pain. Where did I go SO wrong?

  13. Meg on December 1st, 2006 11:32 am

    Aw, Riley is totally a blue baby. Poor Rileywith all his comforts of life – such a harsh existance! Love the song choice of the godless heathens, btw. I have Rob’s 2003 JournalCon CD in my car and still listen to it often.

  14. Pickles & Dimes on December 1st, 2006 12:13 pm

    So sad but so cute! Love the song choice.

    By the way, my fiance said you sound just like me, even your laugh. You should be frightened. :)

  15. Lumpyheadsmom on December 1st, 2006 12:22 pm

    Wait, there’s a reason to shoot video that isn’t humiliation? That’s the only reason we’ve been taking those hours of footage.

  16. Claudia on December 1st, 2006 12:24 pm

    No, the BEST Probst quote is at the very end when Candice gets booted and she and nasty Adam kiss: “I guess if it was really love, he’d have given you the necklace.” Oooh. BURN!!!

  17. BIYF on December 1st, 2006 12:34 pm

    Long time reader, first time commenter (I think). I just wanted to let you know that I very much enjoyed the sly Beasties reference (and the video of that cute kid, whoever he is). I’ve been criminally lax in keeping up with my fave sites, not to mention my own joint. Anyway, I dig your sarcasm, and reference skillz. All the best to you and yours this holiday season…hope Santa brings Riley a whiffle ball bat.

  18. Christine on December 1st, 2006 12:49 pm

    Oh the injustice of shoes! Oh the woe over the camera that isn’t close enough!

    You guys crack me up. And Riley even full of woe is just adorable.

  19. HollowSquirrel on December 1st, 2006 1:24 pm

    Oh woes Riley. Maybe mommy can use that fancy check she posted on Flickr for your therapy down the road!! :) Congrats on the freelance writing gig! Yay!

  20. sunShine on December 1st, 2006 1:59 pm

    Am I bad for laughing? This was so funny! Even in all his whiny-ness Riley is still so adorable.

  21. katie d on December 1st, 2006 2:03 pm

    ah, the laughter, the joy at another person’s pain, the hysterical choice of song. ::contented sigh:: awesome. :)

  22. Sunshyn on December 1st, 2006 2:24 pm

    I’m thinking his mommy should play the clip at the fiancee’s bridal shower… Or, as we used to yell at the neighbors upstairs, QUIT BEATING THAT BABY! My “baby” now stomps his foot and whines, “I can’t.” What huge growth for a kid who was completely noverbal til he was almost three… My personal favorite: “I don’t want to have to.”

  23. Kim on December 1st, 2006 2:38 pm

    When I am stuck being the passenger and not the driver in my life, it is so nice to hit a rest stop at the magical world of Sundry. To see your little Riley all chuffed (though gut wrenchingly sad) makes me giggle, everything is life shattering when your world is SO not in your control. I wish I could still throw my whole self into expessing my discontent at even the smallest thing…

  24. jonniker on December 1st, 2006 2:59 pm

    “So Riley, what seems to be the problem?”

    I love it! Penetrating, like Barbara Walters! And then…distraction with a camera in his face. Oh man, you guys are funny as hell.

  25. Laziza on December 1st, 2006 3:17 pm

    You? You. Are the coolest mother in the world. Or cruelest. One or the other. :) But I agree: What wedding is completely without a musical montage of this very sort?

  26. Jennifer on December 1st, 2006 3:37 pm

    Hey, I can feel the pain of being forced to wear shoes that you don’t like. I think I had a similar reaction (to that of the mystery toddler) when my mother put saddle shoes on me at age 7. I still think saddle shoes are the ugliest shoes ever invented.

    So – you go, Riley. Refuse the inferior shoes!

  27. Sara on December 1st, 2006 3:50 pm

    Oh god, we totally have one of these in the making! I feel so guilty when capturing the freak outs, but I can’t help it. Great video.

  28. Niki P. on December 1st, 2006 5:20 pm

    That is perfect birth control!

  29. cate on December 1st, 2006 6:37 pm

    I really loved that :)

  30. PC on December 1st, 2006 7:21 pm

    My son is about the same age as yours and he’s definitly going through the same hardships as Riley! I took this picture of my son, Nathan, the day after Thanksgiving because he looked so pathetic. He didn’t want to put up the Christmas tree…instead he wanted to melt into the carpet and whine on the dog bed. Sweet.

  31. PC on December 1st, 2006 7:22 pm

    Oops, the picture was filtered out. Here’s the link:

  32. honeybecke on December 1st, 2006 11:12 pm

    Both my husband and I “Haah’d when Jeff said the magic number is 420. Funny AND puffy.
    I think it kinda just came out without him thinking. I was suprised the family friendly editors didn’t try to oust it. Or, maybe they never went to college and have no idea what it meant. But, I doubt it. They probably thought it was hilarious and kept it in cause they are mega potheads and sit around the production beach all day smokin’ the local dagga. ANyhow, yes we caught it and it was great.

    Oh, will you please just quit harrassing that poor child? We know he’s angelic and only fusses when provoked. Hehe JUUUUST KIdding. Cute video. Very familiar material I might add (as in, I gots one too, Mama)

  33. Sassy Momma on December 2nd, 2006 5:13 am

    Heheh Funny! Guess I’ll turn into a Godless Heathen too, because we’ve been collecting video of my little K-Bug during her good times and bad. Not at all for future use. Never. Wouldn’t do that.

  34. nstig8r on December 2nd, 2006 6:55 am

    ha ha, i love it when riley is screaming until the camera gets close & then he calms down but as soon as you move backwards he commences to screaming again. that is so funny! poor boy will kill you for this when he’s older!

    (also, re: yesterday’s frozen car door lock–carry a lighter w/ you & then heat up the end of your key a little w/ the lighter & put it in the lock. it will open easily!)

  35. warcrygirl on December 3rd, 2006 11:12 am

    Okay, I have no clue what the funny is in the magic number reference but then again I was never a pothead. Can I have some splainin’ please?

  36. justmouse on December 3rd, 2006 1:23 pm

    warcrygirl: i’m glad i’m not the only one who needed the pot-reference explained to me. my ex-roommate crackhead explained it to me, but i forgot it. here’s what i found at:

    “According to Steven Hager, editor of High Times, the term 420 originated at San Rafael High School, in 1971, among a group of about a dozen pot-smoking wiseacres who called themselves the Waldos, who are now pushing 50. The term was shorthand for the time of day the group would meet, at the campus statue of Louis Pasteur, to smoke pot. Intent on developing their own discreet language, they made 420 code for a time to get high, and its use spread among members of an entire generation. While our teens feel that they know something we don’t, you can let them in on the fact that it was your generation that came up with the numbers.

    A quote from one of the Waldos in the High Times article states, “We did discover we could talk about getting high in front of our parents without them knowing by using the phrase 420.” Fortunately, your teenagers will not have that same option.


    Simply put, 420 is a symbol of cannabis and its culture. Today, April 20th events are international, and 4:20 pm has become sort of a world wide “burn time”. It certainly doesn’t matter too much where the term came from because for us parents, it’s a flag, a warning sign that our teenagers may be into something that could harm their future. When you see the symbol 420, be aware of what it represents.”

  37. Amy on December 3rd, 2006 10:57 pm

    Oh *man*, that’s great.

    Uh. I mean, uh… those terrible people, mocking the terrible toddler pain! Really!

    *sneaks another peek*

  38. Rob on December 4th, 2006 12:26 am

    Oh man, I’d completely forgotten about that song, too. So it’s kind of like hearing it again for the first time, because at my age, you know…

  39. Jane Jackson on January 14th, 2007 2:23 am

    Google is the best search engine

  40. joel on March 1st, 2010 10:08 pm

    I currently have my own personal experience with using bud, and no matter how often everyone exclaim “it’s effective just for this” and “excellent with regard to that”, Let me tell you that it virtually messed up my life man! Look, I understand that there are people who are able to simply just up and give up, nevertheless there are numerous others that have the most difficult time looking to to give up smoking marijuana. The main problem with being enslaved weed would be that the dependancy is usually a psychological one, not necessarily bodily.

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