Comments on: From hell, by Fisher-Price

By: schatje

schatje — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:12:33 +0000

I have recently discovered this blog and am reading backwards so please excuse the late reply. I haven’t commented before because it is sort of lame/embarrassing to post on comments that are so old but I just had to say something about that singing hellhound.

My in-laws thought it was a great thing to get the monkey her very own singing hellhound in DUTCH no less. (My husband was born and raised in the Netherlands and his family still lives there so of course she’s growing up bilingual) To make things even better my sister bought her the english version for her first birthday! She sits on the floor surrounded by both singing dogs and baby tad (thank you Sister-in-law) and gets them all singing at the same time. It is sort of reminiscent of singing in around when you’re in kindergarden and the kids don’t know all the words and some of them aren’t even singing the right song.

I honestly have never thought to hide these toys from her (I must be stupid from the brain damage of hearing itsy bitsy spider, if you’re happy and you know it and hanse panse kevertje all at once).

By: pippa

pippa — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 15:01:31 +0000

OMG.. I laughed so hard I cried at the monkey in the box. I too fear the biscuit cans, but the monkey ALWAYS pops on the last “Pop” before “goes the weasel.” Easy to anticipate.

And the Fridge Farm? HOURS of delight. Especially when they match the WRONG parts and it tells them they matched the wrong parts. Secret? Gates to the kitchen. Fewer opportunities to play with them.

By: HollowSquirrel

HollowSquirrel — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 02:06:08 +0000

Those toys look to suck, except for the farm magnets which we have & love (I don’t mind it YET). Our WORST toy EVER is the regifted Baby Einstein turtle (wearing a scuba mask, because, DUH) that shrieks “SHAPES COLORS ANIMALS” and shrieks various well, you guessed it. This delightful gift has no off switch, so when I watch my friend’s baby on Wednesdays, the tike crawls straight for it and just POUNDS on top so it actually screams “SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHAAAAPES COLORS ANIMALS.” Of course, the person who regifted this evil toy doesn’t know I know she regifted, but if she had just THOUGHT about it, maybe she would remember that I’ve been in her baby’s room like 8 times before and saw the damned thing, still in its box, because clearly they knew that this obnoxious, hideous plastic crap didn’t have a volume or on/off switch. Whew. I need to breathe.

By: Becky

Becky — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 01:39:15 +0000

I feel more normal now knowing that I am not alone in my fear of dumb ass jack in the boxes or cans of biscuits….THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: Danielle

Danielle — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 21:21:42 +0000

I can totally comiserate. Fucking biscuit tins and monkey boxes. Oh, let’s not forget balloons. I don’t like loud noises or anything that causes them. As for the toys that make noise, we still receive them even though I made it abundantly clear the type of toys preferred. Take the Wheely Bug for example. This is a very simple toy; it is superfantastically adorable. Yet, what do we receive for our daughter’s 1 year birthday? Hmm? You’ll never guess. A Winnie the Pooh ride on airplane toy that has, get this, you’ll never believe it, a fucking propeller that spins on the front! My daughter is so fond of sticking her face right into the propeller. Of course it doesn’t hurt her; it’s foam. However, I will never be able to let her near a damn fan. Ever! And of course it takes batteries-of which I will refuse to replace on the grounds of not committing murder. Oh, and the creepy animatronic bears, mice, monsters, whatever the hell they are; everyone who attempts to give one to my child should just bend over because I’m going to shove it up their ass. Thanks. It feels so good to know I’m not alone.

By: Allie

Allie — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 19:13:44 +0000

My parents got that same talking dog for my nephew this Christmas. My mother had to have all of the presents wrapped and under the tree by December 2nd… don’t ask why cause I dunno either. But I like to call that dog, The Possessed Demon Dog From Hell. It would giggle at the oddest times under the tree or say things. It would creep me out. I’m so glad it’s at my sisters house!!

By: breckgirl

breckgirl — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 19:02:39 +0000

We, too, have the unfortunate spinning zebra (I’ve actually come to like some of those tunes – they’re just so cutesy house techno) but what my husband and I really enjoy is this other leap frog “learning playground” (it looks like something a mixmaster DJ might stand behind). The woman’s voice is SO irritating but we especially love it when she says “fuzzy…fuzzy fuzzy,” in a somewhat dirty, seductive drawl. We still do it over and over and over and have occasionally used the reference in the bedroom. Those little songs really stick in your mind, don’t they? The other day I caught myself singing to myself – “Rockin through the numbers, count with me, rock and roll to the NUMBER 3 – 1, 2, 3!!!” We also have the new Veggie Tales bus – I won’t even go into that. Sorry about the jack in the box phobia – it’s the clowns that really bother me – and those BLUE MEN. Ugh.

By: Matthew

Matthew — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:44:56 +0000

You will grow to hate the Fridge Farm Magnetic Animal Set, in the unlikely event that you haven’t already.

By: Anais

Anais — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 02:37:51 +0000

You never fail to crack me up, Linda. This is going down as one of my favorite entries. Also, your suctopus gets cuter everyday. I just want to pinch those adorable squirrel cheeks!

By: Wendy

Wendy — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 00:52:55 +0000

Aaarggghhh! Those biscuit containers! “Press Spoon Here”. Like hell I’m going to do that! I might as well stand in front of the toaster and wait for the toast to pop up! Too bad the toaster doesn’t play “Pop goes the weasel” so I’d have an idea of when to expect it. So glad to know I’m not alone in this dis-ease. Wonder what we could name it? Anticiphopia? The fear of planned surprises? Could be in Wikipedia before you know it. Love your blog. Best wishes from OHIO.