February 4, 2007

I don’t think I’ve lost any weight so far on the It’s Not a Diet It’s a Lifestyle Change ‘program’. I switched out most of the foods I was eating for much healthier alternatives, but 1) I’m still not really watching total calories and 2) I repeatedly find excuses for cheating. #2 is killing me, if I really take a look at the reasons I’ve given myself permission to make bad decisions about food in the last TWO WEEKS, there is:

• I never get to go out for dinner so I should order a five-course meal
• We never get to see movies in the theater so I should order a massive box of Junior Mints
• The in-laws are visiting so I should have a second helping of potatoes
• It’s late and I had a busy day and there’s nothing to make for dinner except these cheese-filled tortellinis, oopsy
• Riley flayed my nerves to bloody stumps all day long so I should have some low fat frozen yogurt that I kid myself is not that bad for me even though it’s caramel-flavored and is made by Haagen-Fucking-Dazs for god’s sake
• Say, when you put some cheese on a rice cake it’s not half bad

Etc. Wow, I wonder why I haven’t lost any weight?

Oh well, one thing I have learned in life is that you can’t let yourself be flattened under the weight of your own inertia, if today you sabotaged your goal then tomorrow is a fresh start. Otherwise, it’s far too easy to get trapped in a pathological spiral of in-for-a-penny-in-for-a-pound (which, by the way, goes nicely hand in hand with “Everyone already thinks I’m a fuckup so I will prove just how wrong they are — I’m not just a fuckup, I’m a COLOSSAL fuckup with fucked icing on top and a side of fuck-me-running. Ha, teach them to underestimate!”), and so I will summon a renewal of purpose, a redoubling of efforts, and as god is my witness, I will NOT eat my way through a bag of Tostitos Scoops today even though I believe Superbowl Sunday is historically considered a national day of celebrating Munchy McMasticate, Patron Saint of Snacking.

No, instead there shall be carrot sticks. And lo, they will be…rabbity.

As I refocus on the whole eating thing (including a nearly religious devotion to Leah’s Big-Ass Salad™) I’m recognizing there’s a major gap in my overall plan, which is the exercise factor. We have a lot of strength training type gym equipment in the garage, and JB and I have been pretty good about going out there in the evenings to lift weights after Riley goes to bed, but I need to be doing something cardio-wise.

I should get up around 6 AM, before Riley wakes up, and go running in my neighborhood, but uhhhh….I really, really don’t want to get up at 6 AM. The only thing that would be worse than getting up at 6 AM would be getting up at 6 AM in order to work out.

That’s really my best option, though, because getting to a gym is problematic, getting to a structured class is problematic, and frankly, leaving the house for any reason with Riley in tow is getting to be problematic as hell.

I’m not completely inactive, though. Why, just yesterday Riley and I walked to the park at the end of our block! And it only took an hour and a half. Gosh, walking with toddlers is interesting, you sure get to appreciate every blade of grass you glacially pass by.

Tell me this, if you’re in a similar situation where you can’t get to a gym whenever you please, what do you do for exercise?

(P.S. I’ll be posting “JB’s picks” over at SundryBuzz this week, for a macho change of pace. Come visit! It’s penis-friendly!)


82 Responses to “Inertia and dairy products”

  1. HollowSquirrel on February 5th, 2007 8:51 am

    Considering it’s pitch dark and bloody freezing here, I don’t do a damn thing for about 6 months out of the year. I belong to a gym, but haven’t been in at least a year. It’s good stuff. Throwing my money away like that. Feels so good. About as good as my chunky thighs rubbing against my tightening jeans.

    Since I’m addicted to Tivo, sometimes I lay down a yoga mat and do leg lifts (old school, baby) and crunches while I watch. Actually that helps a lot…and added bonus: it eases my guilt for being addicted to Beauty and the Geek, etc.

    GOOD luck.

  2. nonsoccermom on February 5th, 2007 8:57 am

    I try to get up early and jog before work, but I’m just not a morning person so some days this is really hard to do. Usually I go walking with a friend after my son goes to bed. And on Wednesdays I take dance – an hour and a half tap/jazz combo. My husband and I have tried to work out a schedule where we go walking with my son after work, or take him to the park, but with dinner and after-work activities we can never seem to make it happen. Having a kid does make exercising a bit more logistically challenging…

  3. kj on February 5th, 2007 9:16 am

    Just a word of encouragement: I’ve made the same decision to not be Munchy McBingepants myself and am struggling through the “I’d get up at 6am if it came later in the day” syndrome (not to mention the “but oatmeal cookies have oats in ’em. can they be so bad?” syndrome). All other blah blah aside, try the frozen Edamame pods at the grocery store. Heat n’ eat, they’re awesome for watching tv because they’re tasty little veggies that you get to sortof bite on and suck out the little beany insides. Very satisfying as far as the tactile experience goes. Not too shabby on the taste front either, especially if you put just a hint of salt on the pods. Good luck!

  4. life&times on February 5th, 2007 9:37 am

    I recently started netflixing some work out videos. I can watch them, use them until I get bored, and netflix a new one. It’s going to be a huge help on days when I’m too tired to get to the gym by 7:30 (which requires leaving the house by 6:30… hell no!). Also, make sure you count every activity including cleaning, etc. The “it’s a lifestyle change” site counts heavy cleaning as cardio.

    Also, we’re doing a ballroom dance class 1x/week (umm… that may not be something you’re into) through the local university. And it’s awesome because in an hour I burn 300+ calories in an hour. Something similar to that might work out for you?

  5. chrissy on February 5th, 2007 9:39 am

    Since I live in Minnesota, where it’s dark at 6 a.m. and dark by 6 p.m. (when I get home), I can’t go for a long walk or run outside without feeling super paranoid that I might get mugged. In the summer I run around a lake near my house, but in the cold, dark months of winter, I’m home-bound. I’ve discovered some really good FREE exercise programs on “In Demand” (Cable) that I like to do when the weather outside is frightful. There are some good power workouts available … and I recently discovered a 2-mile walking program with Nancy Sansone that seems to work really well. When Nancy starts walking with hand weights, I grab two soup cans out of the cupboard. I like that I can exercise in my warm, safe house; I like that I don’t have to pay a gym membership; and I like that I can burn calories whenever it fits into my (sometimes crazy) work schedule — whether that means 6, 7, 8, or 9 p.m.

  6. Keri on February 5th, 2007 9:57 am

    Mari Windsor’s “Accelerated Body Workout” Pilates DVD (one hour) worked for me. After two months of doing this, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

  7. victoria on February 5th, 2007 10:27 am

    Why are you being so hard on yourself? It sounds to me like you’re doing everything right — you’re looking to make small changes, which are much more sustainable than a “body revolution in 30 days” or some other similar “rapid makeover” plan. You’re looking for ways to exercise that you can actually fit into your life, and you’ll find them if you keep looking. You haven’t gained any weight. And you’re pretty close to your ideal weight to begin with. You’re actually doing pretty great.

  8. MRW on February 5th, 2007 10:28 am

    Well when my son was 17 months old I didn’t do a damned thing other than just try to stay awake all day. However, when he was around 18 months I finally decided the weight thing was kicking my butt. So, I started slow – I TiVo’d the Inhale yoga program on Oxygen. As another commenter noted, the instructor is kind of weird, actually he bugs me, but it’s a really solid yoga workout and it’s only about 40 minutes, and it kicked my butt for a long time. After about 6 months of that, I started doing The Firm (yes, I do sound like an infomercial). Don’t bother to buy it from them, you can get one off of Ebay for like $15 – all you need is Cardio Sculpt, small weights, and a their step (which they unfortunately call the Fanny lifter) – wait WAIT, come back! It’s not that stupid or complicated! I promise! I’ve been doing it for two years about 3 days a week. The instructor is annoying as hell, but the program is great – it involves cardio and weights – I’ve lost two sizes and I don’t diet. I like it because I don’t have to think about what to do and I don’t decide how long I’m going to work out, I just do the whole thing and because I live in Portland, land of craptastic weather for months on end, I can do it at home any time – no need to go outside. Anyway, I know it all sounds like I’m an ad, I swear I don’t get any commission, it’s just worked really well for me for at least a couple of years now.

  9. Leah on February 5th, 2007 11:00 am

    I have the same problem trying to sneak in cardio. I just ordered the Carmen Electra cardio striptease/lap dance/gyration (other) DVDs from Netflix. The lapdance one sounds quite attractive as it seems, by definition, this close to working out while sitting down. We’ll see…

    If you have room to Tae Bo, please do so and I will live vicariously.

  10. Annie on February 5th, 2007 12:38 pm

    Your child sleeps past 6 am? How do you get him to do that?

    I belong to the YMCA and had finally gotten into the habit of going 3 days a week but then (a) my son moved into a toddler bed and now wakes and wanders in the night, (b) my parents came to visit for 3.5 weeks, and (c) my son now won’t sleep past 5:15 am. So I’m hoping to get back into the groove, but I feel your pain. You won’t get up at 6 am and exercise. You just won’t because it sounds like as much fun as root canal surgery. I think the in house dancing and jump rope ideas are your best bet.

    Maybe we can figure out a way to make saying “NO” aerobic? Even if it’s just one calorie per “no”, I could burn at least 400 calories a morning.

  11. Karl on February 5th, 2007 12:54 pm

    About the 6 AM thing … this is going to sound weird, but – if you can’t get up at 6 AM, try 5:30. Or 5. Seriously! about 15 years ago I was trying to exercise (we had a workout room at the office), and I couldn’t do it after work because I had to be home for the kids. So I wanted to get up early, but I was always a night person, and it Just Wasn’t Working. Until one day I set the alarm for 5:15 by accident instead of 6:15, and bounced right out of bed. (and made the mistake of announcing it, too, but that’s another story, and She only reminds me of it when I do something really dumb). I guess you just have to hit your sleep cycle just right.

    Also, if you just want to burn calories, you don’t have to get into heavy cardio. You can walk instead of run, it just takes longer. Find something you can stick to and do it, doesn’t matter much what it is.

  12. Pete on February 5th, 2007 2:16 pm

    I second the exercise ball. I got one for the wife and there are lots of things you can do with it that could count as exercise.

  13. Rysk on February 5th, 2007 3:09 pm

    Carmen Electra’s Striptease Videos are pretty good, the routines are fun and sexy and she has a killer body–so if that’s not motivation I don’t know what is. They seem pretty silly when you first watch–but it feels great to do it.

  14. Her Ladyship on February 5th, 2007 4:22 pm

    It’s interesting, the phenomenon that you mention of, oh well, I blew it, might as well keep blowing it. Nutritionists say that is a very real problem and one that I can sadly vouch for. One thing that will help is to get some cardio in, even if it is just walking (and if you’re not too used to exercising, that may be easier to get into). That burns off fat, but then again, you need to remember that your eating shouldn’t sabotage your workouts. However, I think your attitude of slow and steady will help, because big changes are very difficult to do all at once. Find maybe one activity that you can do and just love, and worry about adding onto it in a few months. Good luck!

  15. Ing on February 5th, 2007 5:20 pm

    I will totally 100% second the Inhale yoga with Steve Ross on the Oxygen network. You have to tivo it because, gasp, it’s on at 6am! – Plus you can skip all the pesky commercials. The music is good and Steve’s pants are hilarious. They are like MC Hammer pants but in hippy earth tones. Now you have to watch it just for the laugh. ;)

  16. Melissa on February 5th, 2007 5:56 pm

    I was walking outside until the end of December when our “mild Ohio winter” of temps in the 50’s came to an abrupt end. Since then I’ve been using our treadmill during one of the baby’s naps or after he goes to bed at 7. I turn on some music and walk (with intervals of jogging on the days I’m not totally exhausted) for 30 minutes. Yeah, it gets old sometimes, but even MORE old are these stupid last 7 lb of pregnancy weight that I’m not going to lose sitting on my butt. Once the wind chill gets above MINUS FIFTEEN DEGREES (no seriously, it is), I’m going to try going to the mall with the baby a couple days a week. Have I mentioned I hate winter?

  17. Becky on February 8th, 2007 1:25 pm

    My suggestion is to take up tap dancing! It is really fun and noisy and you get really curvy calves and a perky butt.

  18. Andrea on February 8th, 2007 3:56 pm

    I’m in a similar situation. My daughter is 16 months. I also have a nine year old. I live in the Newcastle area, drop my daughter off at daycare by the house, drive to Redmond every day before 8:30 AM to drop my son off at school and then drive to Seattle to work. I repeat the whole thing every evening. I stop for the day around 7:30 PM. So joining gym or some other dumb-ass thing is not in the cards. So we bought an eliptical trainer and I do that most evenings after the baby goes to sleep. It could be boring but I promised myself that I would download as much up-beat music as possible off iTunes every week. So far, it seems to be working.

  19. Sara Wilson on April 5th, 2007 12:52 am

    Excuse, and what you think concerning forthcoming elections?

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