February 5, 2007

I stepped on the scale this morning and saw this: 143.

I weighed 149, I think, the last time I got on this same scale. It was at the end of the day, and I know that makes a difference, and plus, our scale is kind of hoopty, but STILL. WTF, I say. W.T.F. I look the same, I swear. Shouldn’t my jeans require an extra belt-hitch or something?

Anyway, thank you so much for your suggestions and ideas and commiseration, I can’t tell you how comforting/inspiring/all-around-awesome it is to get feedback on the whole nonthrilling exercise issue.

(I, uh, bought a “Turbo Jam” DVD. Which hopefully will get used, unlike my Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease DVD which I’ve always been too embarrassed to actually follow.)

This week pretty much nothing is going to happen workout-wise, though, because I’m on single parent duty and really, that’s a cardio routine all on its own. From the military shower in the morning (soap up, rinse off, you’re OUT OF THERE SOLDIER) to the paranoid cell-phone checking to the Mint-400-style drive to daycare in the evening, my heart rate stays nicely elevated all day long. In fact, I might need to replenish my ion supply soon, and lucky for me JB has access to such a thing in Taipei right now:


Yes, nothing like a refreshing can of Pocari Sweat to put the spring back in your step. Mmm mmm.

We talked with JB via webcam tonight and while Riley was excited and laughed hysterically at JB zooming his face towards his own camera and acting goofy, when it came time to sign off he broke down in tears. “Ba ba,” he sobbed, waving his little hand. “Ba ba Da Da.”

Oh, our little boy. He’s growing up so fast. Look:

I feel the need, periodically, to publicly declare my love for him, and so indulge me when I say he brightens my life in every possible way, he is the sunshine and the smell of everything happy and good. His stumpy, fast-forward walk makes me smile, the way his cornsilk hair feels under my hand soothes every bit of me. He frustrates me to no end, and yet my love for him grows and grows and grows, every day, every day. It’s just as I worried, when he was a newborn: will I keep loving him more? And more? How can I stand it? And the answer is yes, you will keep loving more and more and more, beyond what you ever thought you could stand, and your heart will accommodate.


50 Responses to “Accommodation”

  1. Emily on February 5th, 2007 8:52 pm

    Oh, you. I don’t even HAVE a kid, and my insides still went all gooey from that video.

  2. Pete on February 5th, 2007 8:56 pm

    Nice video.

  3. Emily on February 5th, 2007 8:57 pm

    Oh, and P.S. You now weigh only five pounds more than I do, and I wear size 5s. So, hooray!

  4. Lavinia on February 5th, 2007 9:02 pm

    Brilliant. Truly amazing.

    Can I hire you to come over and teach me how to do the whole music/video/put-it-on-my-blog thing? :)

  5. Carolyn J. on February 5th, 2007 9:13 pm

    That guy is so old, he’ll be older than me soon and I will have to call him Mr. Riley.

    And BTW – smashing the ever-lovin’ shit out of a xylophone is a rite of passage.

  6. Meg on February 5th, 2007 9:32 pm

    The video is super cute. And that last paragraph was awesome! So moving and beautiful. I know you said you’ve thought about writing a novel – have you ever thought of writing a book about being a mom?

  7. Sara on February 5th, 2007 9:35 pm

    Great video! And talk of Taipei reminds me of our friends there, and our visit a few years ago. Love – steamed dumplings, Not so much love – stinky tofu. I hope he has a good trip;I know you’ll survive the week just fine.

  8. zu on February 5th, 2007 9:39 pm

    Riley ( to the xylophone): Louder, LOUDER. MY TALENT MUST BE HEARD IN CHINA!

    Awesome video.
    Thank you for sharing.

  9. JoAnn on February 5th, 2007 9:59 pm

    OK, I have to say I melted on that video. He’s come so far, and he’s so loved. It’s a beautiful thing.

  10. Keaton on February 5th, 2007 10:21 pm

    Pocari Sweat is the greatest drink ever invented by man.

    Also, that video was very sweet.

  11. jennifer on February 5th, 2007 11:54 pm

    I dont have a blanket affection for all babies but i must say your kid is really cute :)
    my family is from taipei and i

  12. samantha jo campen on February 5th, 2007 11:57 pm

    You and your videos. I should know by now that they will make me lumpy in my throat.

    Oh, and I LOVE his belly! :-)

  13. JMH on February 6th, 2007 3:45 am

    What is the name of the song you used in the video? I loved it! Thanks!!

  14. Swistle on February 6th, 2007 5:33 am

    That video makes me so glad to be having another baby. And it gives new fire to my “What’s a 6th when you already have five?” campaign.”

  15. Emma on February 6th, 2007 5:49 am

    Coming from someone who nigh-on detests small children, if I ever have any offspring I want them to be like Riley. He is so utterly gorgeous! Plus his laugh is infectious – the foot-tickling excerpt was lovely and made me completely crack up :)

  16. Kaire on February 6th, 2007 6:19 am

    I don’t have kids of my own, but last night, snuggled on my niece’s couch with both my great nephews laying on me watching Cars, I thought “this is what happiness is.” Of course then they started smacking each other because one was using more blanket than the other. Still, when you have little ones who just want to be with you, it’s such an amazing feeling!

  17. Jennifer on February 6th, 2007 6:20 am

    He is really steady on his feet now! How confident he runs up and down the hallway.

    I’m in Japan right now and the Pocari Sweat abounds…

    Hey, will JB be returning to Seattle on Friday? Does he go through Narita? If so I might see him!

  18. kendra! on February 6th, 2007 7:09 am

    I was moved to watch your son pat his belly in that first vignette – something which my husband does in his skivvies (thankfully, not the disposable kind anymore) every night. In other words, keep it up, Riley. Your place on the continuum of Developing Man Habits is a truly exciting one there at the starting line.

  19. Her Ladyship on February 6th, 2007 7:13 am

    Smashing on the weight loss – congrats!

  20. Joanne on February 6th, 2007 7:16 am

    Good for you on the weight loss – it’s so nice to lose weight and get some results fast so you can keep going! I feel you on the baby/love/frustration/love thing. It’s so so strange – the strangest relationship of my life, really. I love him so much and yet he makes me crazy and I want him to leave me ALONE sometimes but then after he goes to bed I want to look at pictures of him. It’s a beautiful confusing thing.

  21. Stephanie Brown on February 6th, 2007 7:17 am

    It has been such a pleasure watching your child grow in your tummy and seeing him grow up. You have opened up your life to so many people and it has just been such a pleasure to witness it all. I am so looking forward to continuing to see your family grow! :)

  22. Jamie on February 6th, 2007 7:44 am

    Check out http://www.fluidity.com. I purchased this last week.

  23. JennB on February 6th, 2007 7:53 am

    Oh, parenthood. You’ve summed it up beautifully. Can I keep doing this love more and more? Is it even possible? Yes, it is. It most certainly is.
    And the Ba-ba Da-Da? made my grinch heart grow 3 sizes too large.

  24. kara marie on February 6th, 2007 7:58 am

    Wow. He’s growing so fast! Thanks for sharing that. :)

  25. Ang on February 6th, 2007 8:18 am

    And that’s why God gave us kids.

  26. kim on February 6th, 2007 8:23 am

    I love pocari sweat , it is the asian gatorade and it tastes WAY BETTER.
    I melted at Riley’s video, my little boy is so close yet so far from doing all those things. How bitter sweet to want to experience my child doing those things, but also keep him tiny and snuggled close and safe.

  27. Melissa on February 6th, 2007 8:51 am

    Great video of Riley! My husband’s traveling again this week too. Your description of the soldier shower is on the money. Congrats on the weight loss!

  28. Amanda on February 6th, 2007 8:54 am

    Wait till you have two! It makes you feel like your entire body is one big gooey heart.

    And Genoa already has the hots for Riley. She was on my lap when I watched the video and she totally melted.

  29. Laura H on February 6th, 2007 9:15 am

    Wonderful video… And we store all these mushy thoughts up for when they are 8 and think that they can reason with you or worse, go ahead and try to ride their scooter down the slide in the backyard… Not that that’s ever happened to me or anything.

  30. LeAnne on February 6th, 2007 9:44 am

    Yeah, the weight issue – I’m in the same boat, pretty much exactly the same weight as you also. I am absolutely convinced that my scale is a demonic piece of S*&# meant to taunt me and make me feel like I’ve actually lost weight. But like you said also, even though I have lost about 7lbs give or take any given day, there is no difference in my pant size. Good luck to you too!

  31. Aunt Linda on February 6th, 2007 10:31 am

    OK, fess up. After you left the house last time, we found the OTHER stick for the xylophone. I’m sure you merely overlooked it, and I’ll bet you’d like it back, right? For that two-fisted harmony so desired. OK, then shall we just let Sundance have it? Much love.

  32. Alexandra on February 6th, 2007 10:57 am

    Sundry – trust me, I feel your pain with the weight-loss thing … I was doing an hour to 90 minutes of INTENSE (sweat dripping in your eyes) cardio six days a week AND eating right for over a year. It worked – I got down from 170 to 143 … but then I got there stuck for like four months.

    So, on January 13th I joined a gym, and have been going faithfully every day and lifting weights and doing all kinds of burning 700 calories an hour cardio … and three, almost four weeks later, I weigh the same and my measurements are the same … I hope my body fat percentage is getting lower! I am kind of scared to ask ….

  33. Dr. B. on February 6th, 2007 11:10 am

    Someday I will have a computer that plays me the videos. Someday.

    So then this would be the part where I go on and on about scales and weight and the like; instead, feel free to read the post I JUST put up this weekend about it. Seems to be on many people’s minds this time of year.


    P.S. The other morning I woke up thinking about that chicken that will “cutchew” and laughed out loud.

  34. Claudia on February 6th, 2007 11:59 am

    Re your last pp: I was feeling just that way about my daughters the other day. And, your heart also accomodates a second child. It seems to never run out of room for love.

  35. Danell on February 6th, 2007 2:31 pm

    you make me cry EACH AND EVERY TIME you write like that in that last paragraph. Perhaps it’s just having my own feelings echoed so perfectly.

  36. jen on February 6th, 2007 2:40 pm

    aww. cute!!

  37. Crystal on February 6th, 2007 2:49 pm

    I just read my horoscope for today, and the first sentence was:

    “Let your social instincts off the leash, and talk to all and sundry.”

    I took “talk to all and sundry” as meaning I should leave you a comment. How much are you paying the horoscope people to plug your site? Hah!

  38. steph on February 6th, 2007 2:52 pm

    I missed your post yesterday about exercise, but agree with someone else’s comment to try Dance Dance Revolution. I bought one a few years ago and it’s a moderate cardio workout and fun, even when you aren’t trying very hard. And you can try harder, and sweat more, if you so choose. Added bonuses: fun at parties, and kids love it too.

    There are tons of used DDR-like games on Craig’s List (full disclosure: I know this because I posted mine last weekend).

  39. April on February 6th, 2007 2:59 pm

    Yeah, alot of weight is water. I weight 131 all dehydrated in the morning and almost 135 in the evening after dinner.

    Try out the hacker’s diet to see your actual weight trend:

    My fiance and I love tracking our progress with this tool (the excel spreadsheet has all kinds of graphs and stuff). Nerds!!!

  40. Lesley on February 6th, 2007 5:08 pm

    Here’s another tip for weight loss: Far Infrared Sauna. In 30 utterly delightful minutes you burn 600 calories. Check to see if there’s a place in Seattle that has saunas available for public use. Some Naturopaths have them built into their offices. My local huge health pharmacy has a really nice private one with a shower built in (you need to take a quick shower before and after). I’m thinking of buying the Sunlight Solo Infrared Sauna for home use. Here’s more info if you’re interested. http://www.infrared-sauna-reference.com/

    The beauty of the infrared sauna is it detoxifies the body and cures all kinds of ailments. It’s pretty amazing. It’s also heavenly to sit in.

  41. Mrs. Why on February 6th, 2007 5:08 pm

    I love how he put the toy in his mouth to show you where his mouth is. He’s adorable and clever. What a sweet movie.

  42. Anne L. on February 6th, 2007 5:32 pm

    Whoa, what a little BOY! Such an awesome laugh.

  43. LisaL on February 7th, 2007 8:26 am

    Note to self: Do not watch Sundry’s videos when your hormones are fluctuating more wildly than your weight.
    Whew, crying makes me dehydrated! My son turns 18 next month, and I swear to you he was Riley’s age just last week. What a sweet video, and I loved the song you used. (Who does it?)

  44. HollowSquirrel on February 7th, 2007 2:03 pm

    Dude. Pocari Sweat is awesome. I lived on that stuff in Japan since it was 110 degrees in the shade with 3,483% humidity, and I’m basically albino. And they don’t stock water in vending machines, so Pocari Sweat saved me from becoming human jerky.

  45. Jen on February 7th, 2007 7:39 pm

    I echo the sentiments – what is the song? I love it!

  46. sundry on February 7th, 2007 7:48 pm

    Jeez, I’m sorry—normally I include the song info with videos. DUH. It’s “Wish I”, by Jem.

  47. Jennifer on February 8th, 2007 1:30 am

    Hey, on second viewing of that movie, I noticed he was banging the sh*t out of that xylophone with his LEFT hand. He may indeed be a lefty! Way to go Riley!

  48. fellowmom on February 8th, 2007 11:41 am

    Love the video. My boys are just a bit older and a lot like Riley. Coincidentally, our boys even have some of the same clothes. (We shop Old Navy, Gap, Costco, etc.) I was so psyched when you found out you were pregnant shortly after I did. I have enjoyed seeing Riley growing up right along with mine.

    Also, I’ve lost 42 lbs in the last 20 weeks. Some weeks, I eat well and don’t lose. Other weeks, I eat poorly and lose. The weeks the scale shows a loss, my clothes feel the same, but the weeks my scale shows a plateau, my clothes feel loser. So, I have not seen much correlation in the short term. Just focus on the long term and remember this week’s results when you are feeling discouraged.

  49. Shawn on February 12th, 2007 12:27 pm

    Well as your friendly neighborhood physician, I have to “weigh in” by saying that a person’s weight really doesn’t have much meaning now, its really all about body composition (i.e. lean body mass vs. fat mass). Ironically enough, I’ve seen people who decide to “lose weight”, head off to the gym to work out and are upset when they find out that they have actually gained weight. The simple fact is muscle weighs more than fat. So, don’t think of yourself as “fatter”, but instead think of your daily work out routine you’ve been doing since your little guy was born. He’s getting progressively heavier, so its more of a work out picking him up and carrying him each and every day. Simply put, you’re getting “buff”.

  50. Gentry on February 12th, 2007 12:28 pm

    Please birth more babies. That kid is so loved. There should be more kids who are so lucky.

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