March 4, 2007

I’m not sure whether to chalk it up to an entirely unfamiliar surge of exercise-related endorphins, or the complete and utter upheaval the Weight Watchers Flex Plan is wreaking on my system thanks to its sorrowfully austere daily caloric allotment, but I cried—ACTUALLY TEARED UP, jesus—at the end of the Turbo Jam “Punch, Kick and Jam” DVD I sloppily followed along to this morning, because the instructor was so encouraging, and seemed so sincere, and told me how proud I should be of myself for doing the whole thing, because I deserve it.

Or maybe I was just really, really grateful it was over.

I can’t even remember the last time I did such an intense workout, and let me tell you why I was finally motivated to get off my ass and throw in the video—because if you exercise, in WW you earn ‘activity points’ that translate into food you can then EAT. And let me tell you, 20 points goes way too damn fast, and I don’t know what cruel god made rice cakes have actual CALORIES (what the everloving fuck, it’s a hunk of flavored styrofoam, even the dog isn’t interested in them and she’s been known to EAT HER OWN BARF) but on this particular system every single thing you eat must be accounted for and it all adds up so quickly. Even if you’re eating bullshit food like cans of green beans and salads made with cauliflower and broccoli (you want to talk about bedfarts, christ) and pitiful little bowls of cereal measured out in precise half-cup portions.

Oh, and let’s not forget cottage cheese. The only time in my life that I ever eat cottage cheese is when I’m dieting, and its squeaky, curdy texture is as nostalgic as listening to “Lady in Red”, only instead of picturing myself at a middle school dance, slowly circling at arm’s length with some Gotcha!-clad boy, I’m remembering all my other fakeout, you-think-you’re-eating-but-that’s-only-because-your-mouth-is-moving foods: low calorie popcorn, Diet Coke, pickles, baby carrots.

I bought all these foods the other day, to have an arsenal on hand when 9:30 PM rolls around and I start feeling as though I would kill—literally kill someone, maybe with an ice pick—for a box of Nutter Butters. I was rooting around in the pickle jar last night when JB did the waggling-eyebrow thing at me and said, “Pickles, hmm?” and I had to say it had nothing to do with pregnancy, for god’s sake. Dill pickles are all about having something crunchy to eat, and while they are a poor substitution for a peanut butter cookie, at least they feel somewhat substantial, unlike those beshitted rice cakes.

Also, they’re possibly the porniest food on earth, assuming you lasciviously suck the briny juice from the pickle after you fish it, dripping, from the jar.

In addition to flapping around in the living room to a workout video (it was an awesome workout but I’m sure I looked like a complete idiot trying to follow some of the more complicated punching-and-kicking moves. That’s one nice benefit of exercising at home: no one, aside from Riley, can see my lack of coordination, or my unattractively beet red face), my weekend has included, among other things, a trip to Pottery Barn Kids for a fantastic little armchair I was inspired to buy after seeing one at Ashley’s, and an impromptu pediatrician visit after Riley started looking very much like he had an eye infection (nope, just the byproduct of a cold, but he did have an infection in one ear for which he was prescribed antibiotics—a twice-per-day dosage for 10 days, does that seem like a long-ass time for a little kid to have to take Amoxicillin, or am I just paranoid?), and now, a mellow Sunday afternoon at home while JB is out with a buddy side-scan sonaring Lake Washington in hopes of finding more shipwrecks to dive.

Riley and TURBO JAM. Note incorrect positioning of armchair.

Riley’s new favorite way to sit at the dining room table. Dude, get a phone book! Or three.

Trucks trucks trucks TRUCKS.

The boys, dancing to “White and Nerdy”.

So, so very cool. Yet nerdy.

For something different: evergreen branch, post-rainfall.

Okay, so what about you? What did you do this weekend?


59 Responses to “Weekend recap”

  1. Joanne on March 5th, 2007 2:38 pm

    On Saturday, my husband and I took our boy to the ER so they could do an xray and tell us he had broken his foot! We had no idea! We’re not proud, but in fairness, he really does cry often – if he cried once Friday night, he cried 100 times, and it could have been that he broke his foot, or that we turned off Signing Time after the 100th viewing. Tomorrow we take him to get his permanent cast, and the day after that we’re off to sunny Florida for a week. Timing.

    My boy puts his chair just like that too, but he doesn’t put his cup up there! Hilarious!

  2. Jem on March 5th, 2007 2:53 pm

    I played at a wedding on Saturday, then went to a birthday party at night where Nate was playing…however it was in a paddock and I have really bad allergies to grass and I forgot to take my hayfever pill…then Sunday I was suffering from allergies/cramps until Nate’s new flatmates came over and Nate insisted I go downstairs and be sociable, so I did except I felt so awful that I had to lie down after a few minutes.

  3. victoria on March 5th, 2007 3:48 pm

    Tried to take care of all sorts of last minute chores prior to leaving for Tuscany. And — instead of pickles & baby carrots, (not to sound like a broken record) but have you tried just not eating? For a day? Something about it kills the munchies — even the late-night-dying-for-something-sweet-or-salty munchies . . . .

  4. victoria on March 5th, 2007 3:53 pm

    OMG, I just read the comments and Riley DOES look like a much younger, cuter Bill Murray! He DOES! Wow, Swistle, you’re a genius.

  5. sundry on March 5th, 2007 4:04 pm

    Definitely not a fan of the Not Eating At All Plan. Because that is CRAAAAAZY, Victoria! Like, BUGFUCK crazy. : )

    Also, I’m totally jealous of your upcoming travels. Tuscany! Damn.

  6. melissa gwyther on March 5th, 2007 7:08 pm

    Funny thing, speaking of diets. I made the mistake of surrounding myself with physically fit, freaks at the Arnold Classic – Body Building Expo here in Columbus, OH. While most of the people there were seriously freaky to look at, there were ALOT of women there with amazing figures!! Silly me, now I know I need to diet more.

  7. Chloe on March 6th, 2007 1:13 am

    Heh, I started doing the Turbo Jam thing too. Who could resist after all the Turbo Jam love witnessed on here? I have the first dvds though, that I may or may not have had to pay for. *cough cough*
    But dude– I haven’t changed my diet virtually at all (I’m trying I swear, but it takes a while, you know?), I’ve only done the workouts 8 times total over a few weeks (a bit more than half “cardio party” and the rest of the time the 20 minute workout when I don’t have time for more), and my waist? Has seriously gone down almost an inch. I’m already feeling better about myself.
    Um, this weekend I went bowling with a bunch of friends (and hurt my fricking ring finger, spaz), enjoyed as much time as possible with my boyfriend, and worked. Of course.

  8. lauren on March 6th, 2007 10:35 am

    I worked very hard at tiring out our 9 month old Golden Retriever (Schmitz Park in West Seattle is a good park to be off-leash), went on a bike ride, and had my husband’s siblings over for dinner. We DVR’d Battlestar, since I can’t stay up until 11 on a Sunday and be functional Monday morning. Just watched it last night, and am still in shock/denial.

  9. Mel on March 6th, 2007 12:40 pm

    We went shopping during Saturday day and babysat in the evening. sunday was church and we made homemade pizza for lunch and friens came over to eat it. That’s about it, but it was a good weekend.

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