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May 18, 2007
JB’s view tonight (sent from his phone):
Their plan is to summit Hood early in the AM, depending on weather. I’m sending crossed-fingers their way.
Tomorrow the work starts in earnest on the remodel — excavation and demolition of the existing carport. I imagine there will be a thrilling amount of noise and machinery. Also, tonight is the last night we’ll have a front door for quite some time.
Also also, my son bit me.
I could use some distractions on this mostly-lame Friday night, so . . . can we talk? Here’s my question. Do you have religion, spirituality?
I think of myself as agnostic, in that I do not hold any beliefs (including the belief that there is no god). I have a prevailing sense of “I don’t know”. I am not drawn to Christian beliefs, I do not feel any truth in my heart for them, but that feeling extends to all religions that I know of.
Since Riley’s birth I sometimes feel such a strong desire for belief that I understand, in some way, the need for spirituality. But it is not part of me, not anything Christian anyway. Would I like to believe that in the case of some horrible outcome I have the chance of seeing my son again, in heaven? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, of course.
But, here I am, with my son in my arms and my faith in science and the life we are gifted with. If we become worm food, then let us live that pre-worm life in the best way we know how. And afterwords? Well, I can think of worse outcomes than fertilizing the earth.
Your turn:
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Loving, Lately
Another recommendation from my current post-apocalytpic YA kick: Gone, by Michael Grant. Synopsis in a nutshell—everyone over the age of 13 suddenly disappears, stuff ensues.
JR Watkins Vanilla is my new favorite body lotion. Love the smell, love the way it feels, love the awesome label design.
Buddhist, actually. Lots of faith, no god. It works for me and my hope that things are connected (people to one another and to our environment). It also doesn’t require my faith be rigid = I can change my mind about any or all aspects of my faith as time goes on.
On the biting (I am way more comfortable commenting here than there): You did good. Firm “no”, and you went without causing any pain or real fear on his part (which leaves a stronger mark than the lesson we try to teach when we spank). Then not too long afterwards, some talk about empathy, hurting others, and the importance of being gentle. He’s too young for much more talk-wise.
I was in the same place a few years ago. I also felt that I was cheating my children by creating a void of understanding around faith. I worried that they’d always sense great mystery around the topic and wish they had the secret handshake so they could play along….or carry on a conversation about faith, or know what to do to find their own answers to the hard questions in life.
Anyway, I found a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. What a remarkable thing. It is as intellectual or spiritual as I want it to be, or not. It is a place to teach my son about peace, love, social justice and community. It is a place to know or not know, to question….to even be an atheist. It works for us.
Wouldn’t the heaven concept be really nice? Love your writing. Thank you.
I’m an atheist. I was raised Catholic, but ever since I can remember I had some serious doubts about what the church was teaching me. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I am an atheist, yet when I finally did, it was a very peaceful feeling. I live by the “treat others as you would like to be treated”, and try to have tolerance for people who have different beliefs than mine. I told my husband, on my tombstone I want “Darwin was my co-pilot.” I can certainly see the comfort of religion, and it is a lovely thought that we would be reunited with our loved ones after death. If I’m wrong, it will be a very happy surprise!
I definitely believe in a God, or at least in some higher power. Things are just too magical. But I don’t really believe in Jesus or in pretty much anything the bible says, except in an allegorical way. I have a real problem with anyone who says only certain people will go to heaven. Yes, I believe in heaven too. And hell, definitely. Sometimes, reincarnation makes a lot of sense to me also. I have been interested for years in the Unitarian church and may actually start going one of these days. I would only go to a church that welcomes all kinds of people with no judgements about them and that seems to be the case there. You might want to check them out. I hear good things.
interesting the comments before me because i’m a combo. i occasionally attend unitarian fellowship and buddhist meditation and retreats. i’ll go a step further than you linda and say that I am an atheist. i wish i wasn’t in many ways. i also would like to see my loved ones after death and have much more than these measley 70 or so years on this earth. but i am a scientist and can’t make myself believe. i do lots of religious readings but the typical friendly father in the sky, jesus on the cross does nothing for me.
i did grow up a christian believer in a rather strict religion but my faith was shattered when i was 15 or so. i do know what it is like to have a personal relationship with god (i used to pray about 1/2 hour each day). i do miss that. i find it sad to be nonbeliever. but maybe that’s because i see it as a loss.
I’m Christian, but I have trouble with some parts of it. I don’t necessarily believe the Bible is literal, and I’m also spiritual and I don’t believe homosexuals etc are sinners – Jesus was the one who accepted everyone, anyway, so in the same way he’s going against the Bible. I get so angry at those who condemn stuff like homosexuality – it also says in the Bible that things like you can’t wear fabric made of more than one type of material, and are they also condemning that, or following that rule themselves?
I’m very spiritual also – I go to a spiritual healer which involves counselling and healing involving the chakras/aura. I think before I tried that, I didn’t necessarily believe that stuff works either, but I always go into a strange hypnotic trance while I’m being healed – its the most peaceful feeling I can imagine, and occasionally, when I can feel my healers hands holding (for example) my feet, suddenly I’ll be surprised to feel her hands on my head AND realise I can still feel someones hands on my feet.
I also remember the first time I ever walked into healing – it was just after the breakup with my ex and I had been in and out of hospital for suicide attempts. The second I walked into her healing room, my eyes filled with tears (damn this sounds cheesy,but you know). She didn’t notice that I know of, but she mentioned a couple minutes after that she has her spirit guides tell her how to arrange the room and that people normally cry the first time they walk in. It was the strangest thing.
I know that all sounds incredibly cheesy and fake, but my healer is the most wonderful person too – she used to suffer from a physical illness that left her unable to walk for years, but now she’s healthy and an open minded, beautiful, awesome person with two massive dogs and really sparkling blue eyes. I really trust her and she has helped me.
Man, I’m so ranting now…anyway the other thing I don’t understand is the afterlife. I like to believe it exists, because just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean its not there. However, I’m unsure about psychics. Theres this really good one on TV and she seems to know everything about everyone she meets, and its not that I’m wary of her powers, but what if the world is like a hologram and everything is sort of imprinted in the world? She might just be reading whats already existed in the world, and not actually the spirits. I don’t know, though.
Ha, and here’s something really really really stupid I just did – I was reading the “Comment Preview” below and I thought it was someone elses comment. Hey, someone else has a spiritual healer! Someone else went into a trance!…oh wait a minute.
Oh, one more thing…the reason I’m Christian still, despite not believing in some of the Bible stuff, is because of God. When I pray, I wake up feeling at peace with whatever it is that is troubling me, most of the time. I like to think its God, and I don’t care if God isn’t man-like, I don’t care if God IS the Universe, I consider whatever is helping me feel good and peaceful as God and that “he” or “she” or “the metaphorical God” or whatever is helping me.
I’m agnostic with a slight lean to athiest. I definatley fluctuate between them. It’s funny because Pete and I have been talking about checking out the UU church around the corner from us. I love the idea of it, and am facinated by all religions and beliefs enough to want to learn about them. We also figure it would give our kids a really rounded view of all religions. Nothing like an open mind.
I’m an agnostic pretty much exactly like you. I also kinda wish I could have faith. It seems so simple and pure. I just can’t make that leap, though, beautiful as it might be. I have a lot of respect for those you do believe in god.
Can I ask a personal question? Is your agnosticism the reason you’ve done recovery on your own? (as opposed to AA, which is so god-centered). I think it sucks there aren’t more resources availble to non-christians.
It’s so interesting to read responses on questions like this. So many responses of “I was raised… but…”
I was raised Catholic, and still am. (Shocking!) Not saying I’m a “good” Catholic. I’ve had my periods of frustration but I feel that the Church — all churches, really — are a human creation and bound to be flawed in some way (ways!). So we just have to love them despite it, because otherwise we’d know nothing of faith. They’re the vessel. I think that ritual and tradition and community are so important to the ebb and flow of families as we go through the years. Knowing, and acknowledging, different times of each year (Advent, Christmas, Easter, even Ordinary Time) help us mark our histories. And community is self-explanatory. So I think it’s natural to want to “name” the way you and your family will do that now and in the future.
I am no evangelist but I’m so grateful for my parents’ constancy of faith (as well as allowing us to question and discover things for ourselves) — I really hope I’ll do an okay job of passing these things on to my son.
Amanda: That’s an interesting question. Personally, I did not respond to AA or the notion of a higher power (although I respect their loose definition). No criticism against that system, at all.
Although I was married in a church and went to church my entire childhood, I think of myself more as a spiritualist. I believe in a “higher power”, I suppose, a force that governs things on a much higher plane than I think humans can understand. Incorporated in this belief are some aspects of Hinduism, Buddhism, some pagan stuff and even a little dash of Judaism (it was hard to grow up where I did without attending a bar/bat mitzvah just about every weekend when I was 13).
I have a very religious family (born-agains, Southern Baptists, evangelicals, even a minister for godssakes) on all sides, married and blood. However, when it comes to baptising our own impending child, we don’t think we’re going to do it. Fielding the familial pressure will be the worst part, mostly because I am at peace with the decision and I don’t feel like I should have to defend it. I feel that should our son want religion of a Christian sort, he can make that decision for himself when he feels ready.
Funny you should ask this question today. My grandmother in OH went into surgery this morning to remove a malignant growth from her colon. I told her I would not be praying for her as I’m not xtn, but would do some magick juju stuff instead. She asked me to go ahead and say a little prayer anyway. I may identify as Pagan now, but I “prayed” to her god.
I’m an atheist. That means that I have no gods. It does not mean that I firmly believe that there ARE no gods, just that I have no basis to believe in any. So… pretty much what you said, Linda. It’s a common semantic argument. :) Everybody’s an agnostic, because nobody knows, you know?
I was raised Catholic and my husband was, at various times, Pentacostal and Nazarene. He was born-again twice before he was 16. Now we’re just a happy, guilt-free couple raising our daughter without religion and trying to give her whatever ethical foundation a 19-month-old can have.
I don’t miss my faith, religion in general, or Catholicism in particular. I do not want spirituality. I can see how people would want something to believe in, but I don’t understand how they can hear about any given belief system and think, “huh. that sounds reasonable.” I guess that’s why our religion education starts at birth. (Please, I don’t mean to offend anybody, just my thoughts)
I love this blog. You have raised most of the big, flame-inducing issues and I’ve yet to see nastiness. It’s nice.
This has been a personal struggle for me recently. I think I have what I believe in figured out. Sort of. I believe in a higher power. I believe in heaven. I like some messages of the bible. I like being able to lay in bed at night and hand off my worries and troubles in the form of one sided conversation with whomever or whatever that higher power is. When my son had brain surgery in January of ‘06, I spent A LOT of time talking to him/her/it/them every night before I went to sleep. Without being able to voice my fears without completely freaking out my husband, I would have crumbled. I needed to be able to get that heavy feeling off my chest or I couldn’t go to sleep at night. I am still doing that every night. And if it isn’t something I need to voice because I’m worried about it, I spend time being thankful and appreciative of all of the wonderful things in my life. Which sounds so smarmy when I read it. But it works for me.
I came to all of those conclusions when I had a major crisis of faith. It took me a little while to realize that I wasn’t angry with God/higher power, I was angry with SO many different church’s interpretations of the bible. I have problems with people who stand in judgment of others, specifically those who judge homosexuality. Right on the heels of that, is my difficulty believing that God/higher power is going to wipe out anyone who doesn’t believe in any one particular religion’s belief. THAT is not the person I’m talking to and believing in.
So I consider myself to be spiritual, but not belonging to any one particular religion. It works for me, really well.
I am a Christian in that I believe in God and in Jesus Christ. I became a Christian 3 years ago (I’m 31) and it is something I do believe to be true in my heart. I always kind of felt that way, but I wasn’t really raised “in the church” and I came into my faith on my own. I attend a nice, calm non-denominational church and our pastor is a very gentle and humble person.
I believe in the Bible and believe there is a huge difference between the Old Testament (Jewish law, Jewish history, prophecy, etc.) and the New Testament (Jesus’ ministry, teachings, etc.). I also think people try to read too much into the Bible and use it as a weapon. I believe there is right and there is wrong, but it isn’t my place to go pointing the wrongs in everyone else’s life. “Thou shalt not judge” and all of that. I don’t believe in knocking on doors and trying to convert everyone I come into contact with, either. But, I will share my faith when asked – otherwise the rest is God’s business, not mine.
I enjoy the Psalms and the Proverbs as a guide in my own life and I make it a point to pray every day.
I am regular person; I am married, I volunteer, I am back in school, job at a hospital, etc. I have a lot more peace in my life now and I am a kinder, gentler person (not that I was a brute before, but I had my moments).
I was raised Mormon, and still am. But, I think I would call myself a Buddhist/Mormon…maybe Mormon/Buddhist. Anyway. I think you should allow yourself the time to feel this one out. It’s natural (says me) to “search” when a new life enters yours, and I say just watch and listen. The universe never fails to guide those who truly listen and seek. Keep your heart and eyes open.
Hi there! First of all I read your blog everyday and you are an absolute crack up!You are one of those true blue people that isn’t afaid to be you.
I’m a mom of four girls and “Oh My “.I have many stories.Going on to the religion part.I was raised as one of Jehovahs witnesses.When I went out on my own I decided to have no religion even though I still believed in God..Just recently I suffered an injury and became very depressed.I started studying the bible again with a life long family friend who is Jehovahs witness.It is so hard to catagorize people into groups.I know in my heart there is still so much good in people in all walks of life.I firmly believe in the bible.I do not agree with the judging of each other at all.What I do know is that after reading the bible and praying I have felt so much calmer and at ease.I also am losing that empty feeling I had like I
was living aimlessly.I believe that God loves us all.He has created sooooo
much to love.Have you watched the show on national geographic ?I think it’s Amazing Planet??So much thought ,heart ,humor,etc was put into every
thing we have here.Anyways you asked for your readers comments.There you go.Its obvious you are an awesome Muthah! ;) So lots of luck and go with your heart.You will find what brings you peace!
Get thee to Amazon post-haste and buy yourself a copy of “Entheogens and the Future of Religion”. One single entheogenic session, about 10 years ago, gave me the spiritual life I’d been missing. I’ve never needed or wanted do it again, either. Once was perfectly enough. Highly recommended!
I was raised Pentecostal Christian, and have had faith in some kind of God ever since I was a child. I’m often uncertain of what kind of God this is, but I’ve always had a sense that there was something there. Seeing as how one can never really be sure (because what is the answer to life, the universe and everything?), I choose to believe that there is a heaven and a hell, and live my life with that in mind. My reason for this is that if I am wrong, oh well — nothing lost, and I am, as you say, worm food. If I’m right, then I’m hopefully more likely to end up in heaven than in hell. Of course, this could be the very definition of what my pastor always called a “lukewarm Christian,” in which case I am most likely hellbound, if the bible is true. I wish I had more time and energy to go into further detail, seeing as how I probably sound like a nutjob, but I don’t, so suffice it to say: At this point, I’m giving God the benefit of the doubt.
Secondly, with the “Riley bites” issue, I feel the need to to share a photo with you. It was part of a parenting flyer from which you could possibly have benefited, if I hadn’t decided to only capture the funny part. I can’t find wherever I put it on the internet, though, now that I’m looking for it, so I’ll just e-mail it to you. And I will cross my fingers for you that Riley is not a zombie.
Wow. Deep topic (but a great one)! I have been a Zen Buddhist for almost 10 years. Since our daughter was born 3 years ago, I’ve slacked off on the meditation end, but the ideas (and ideals) guide me for sure, but in a mellow way. If that makes sense. We use abbreviated stories as bedtime stories/lessons for our daughter, for example: “hey, sometimes we’re happy and sometimes we’re sad — everything changes,” and — “patience is good, sometimes you just have to wait and see.” (Also, and there’s no Zen story for this but, “if you kick the cat again, she may just bite you and, jesus, haven’t you learned that yet?”) I grew up as a Christian, in a really open household, but it never made sense to me, so here I am. (Have you read “Letter to a Christian Nation?) I like Buddhism, because the only “truth” is in me.
My dad and I had a very, very special bond- we were soulmates. He had Multiple Sclerosis, and when I was 20 years old, he died of pneumonia in my arms. The nurses coded him, but I wouldn’t leave his body- I was crying, and begging him to come back, please come back. He had been dead for more than five minutes when he began to breathe again. The hospice nurses were amazed, but told me he had come back for me. I knew he couldn’t stay- he had to go, it was his time. (He had suffered from MS for 30 years and was bedridden.) He came back, I think, to make it easier for me. I told him it was okay to go, to leave, I would be fine. And then he stopped breathing, for the last time.
Wherever he went that first time, he came back from it for me. I always knew my dad would sacrifice everything for me, and he tried- that beloved man gave up eternal rest for me, to come back to a life of pain and suffering, because I asked.
I have never actively pursued religion. It’s just always been a matter of knowing- I know there is a place we go, I know there is something higher, philosophically, than us- whether that something is the cosmic universe or a being, I can’t say. But there’s somewhere we go, that we are all together. My dad showed me that.
Incidentally, about a year after he passed away, I was getting over the ending of my first engagement and wondering about my future. One night I had a dream that I was married to this short, dark haired guy in glasses that I teasingly called ‘Doctor’. We were moving into our first house and I gave him a kitten as a housewarming gift. Then I spotted my dad at the door, and left my husband to go for a walk with my dad. We walked through a large clearing towards a deep, shadowed wood. My dad told me I would always be happy, that my husband and I were both dreamers, and sometimes that would hurt us, but in the end- we would always be happy. I told him I loved him as we reached the wood, and he walked into it while I walked back to the house. Then I woke up.
Almost exactly a year later, I met my husband. He has dark hair, glasses, and is a PhD student. And he loves cats.
I was raised Catholic and really never connected with it. As an adult, I held no beliefs for a long time, now I am rethinking things. Like, maybe are we are all connected and in these bodies to do work you can only do in a body. Maybe we aren’t alone?? I’m not too into the organized stuff, but I feel like looking for a little more in my life. I’ve been doing some sitting and listening without expectation. It’s a funny question for me today. My mom fell and broke her hand and when I was driving home after I dropped her off, my car was hit and totalled. We’re okay, it all could have been so much worse. But, man, it’s all so fragile!!
I’m pagan (I practice witchcraft), though I don’t claim it or any thing else as a religion, I do claim it as ’spirituality’. For me this means that I believe in taking responsibility in my actions, and I believe that I have a bit of control over what goes on in my life. I work with herbs and crystals and stones, I meditate, and I celebrate the seasons of the year and what they represent in life – past, present, and future. Though I believe this goes without saying, it’s such a common misconception that I feel I should clarify… it also means I don’t believe in harming others, especially not for my own gain.
It sounds like I’m the same as you: faith appeals to me, but I lack it, and I don’t believe people can “choose to” believe in something–you either have the belief or you don’t. My mom, who thinks it’s a matter of choice, wouldn’t be able to believe in fairies or auras by choosing to do so.
I’m an agnostic, not an atheist, and the distinction is important to me. Another commenter said that everyone’s an agnostic because no one knows, but I’d say that agnostics KNOW they don’t know (and in fact that’s the meaning of the word “agnostic”), whereas believers and atheists usually think they DO know: believers that there is a god, agnostics that there isn’t.
Also, how is it that you can start conversations about guns, abortion, or religion, and everyone plays nice in the comments section? That seems like it’s impossible, and yet here it is. I think it is some kind of Sundry magic.
I believe in God, and in His son Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. I attend a non-denominational church that is far from “weird” or “Jesus-freak-ish”. I find comfort in knowing that there is someone looking out for me, someone I can turn to any second of the day, who wants what is best for me and who will always love me. I belong to Him and I feel blessed. Its comfortable to know that you don’t have to do it all on your own. That when things feel like they couldn’t get any worse, there is someone to turn to that will pick you up and take your burdens. He gives you rest.
Like some others have said, I encourage you to act upon your feelings. If you feel such a strong desire for some sort of belief, that desire is there for a reason. Check religion out! Open up your heart and mind to it … you never know what might happen =)
P.S. More Riley photos and stories please and thank you! He is a doll!
I don’t believe in organized religions, and would like to believe in God, but just can’t find it in myself to do so.
I’m getting to the realization that what I believe is more on the native american religion’s side of things, take care of the earth, it is taking care of you. It is also as far as I know the kind of religion that doesn’t make war on other religions, or force anyone into their beliefs, and is fluid enough to allow you in or out. The basic teaching is that you have to know yourself, do no harm to others especially the earth, and be thankful for what you have. Be respectful.
It is in step with paganism, the celebration of the seasons etc. Meditation, which is truly just slowing down long enough to listen to yourself think.
Bottom line is that we believe in you Linda. And we all think that you have been correct in studying up on zombies, because Riley has now shown his true zombie colors, and you are lucky that it was not your head next to his mouth, although I don’t know if the eleventy gajillion teeth that you have suffered through him cutting would be able to bite through your skull to eat your brain. LOL
And JB? Why? Because it’s there? He couldn’t have waited till summertime? Let us know when he is back so we can stop worrying.
I used to think of myself as agnostic. But then I came to realize that was just another cop-out way for me to avoid committing. Sort of a cowardly “just in case” approach. I have a lot more respect for myself now that I declare forthrightly I’m an aetheist.
I’ve never been a religious person myself, and while I do consider myself to be spiritual, I don’t believe in the concept of God as a seperate entity. I’ve always been completely fascinated with Buddhism. A friend of mine and I are going to start going to a center here that does meditation and gives classes on the history of it as well as the practice of it. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but always put off. I guess I’m getting to a point in my life now where I feel the need for it.
I’m spiritual and follow no specific religion. However, I do like ‘The Four Agreements.’ It’s something that you can share with Riley when he gets older.
http://www.miguelruiz.com/fouragreements.html
Oops. I forgot to type in my info in the above comment about ‘The Four Agreements.’ I also wanted to mention that Heaven for me is right is Vermont, where I live. I’ve traveled all over the world but always am relieved to be back home. There’s even a neat poem called “There are no Vermonters in Heaven.” Check it out:
http://www.vtonly.com/lorejan2.htm
Wow. First time here and what a doozy of a question. I am similar to J above. I am a Christian. I was not raised that way, but had always believed in God.
I hesitate to say Christian sometimes because of the negative connotations. I believe in Jesus and that He is the Son of God. I have researched it thoroughly and know it to be true. I don’t want to put my faith in something that’s just warm and fuzzy or spiritual. I want to believe something solid. And I do. It is.
That being said, I’m no stick in the mud either. God made me that way, and who am I to argue? :)
Raised LDS (Mormon) and still am. It’s not always an easy road, but I think the most important part for me is I really soul-searched and truly believe this apart from my upbringing. We absolutely believe we can be with our family forever if we live worthy of that and after having my baby last year, it took on a whole new meaning for me. I completely get what you are saying. I struggle with faith and prayer, but that’s my struggle. It has it’s ups & downs, but I absolutely believe in God and I’m completely faithful to my religion and it’s teachings.
What I hate the most are the stereotypes of any religion, maybe because I’m so sensitive to them. I get them, being LDS, all the time (and when people realize I am divorced, remarried, having only one kid and a democrat and a devout Mormon, I think their head explodes!) and I try not to abide by stereotypes myself – religions are made up of every type of person, but they all have something in common. They are looking for *something* in there lives. Who are we (in that general sort of “we”) to knock that? One point of my upbringing / religion is tolerance & love for everyone. I think that is so key. Imagine everything you could learn or have your own opinion solidified even more firmly if you were tolerant and engaged in meaningful conversation?
I find religion fascinating and even more so, people’s journeys to religion. What they believe and how and why. It helps me know what I believe a little better. And that’s never a bad thing! (Man. I hope I’m making sense!!)
(and can I just say I completely agree with Swistle? I couldn’t imagine the craziness that would ensue on this topic anywhere other than your blog!)
I was raised Roman Catholic. I left the church when I was 16. There was something about that sermon that homosexuals going to hell and being bad people that just didn’t sit right with me. Love one another as I have loved you…unless you don’t meet my criteria of being lovable? No thank you! When I moved out West I started to reconnect with my spirituality, I think it had something to do with intense therapy and healing from an eating disorder. But it wasn’t organized religion based, it is more of a personal relationship with a Higher Power. Not God, I just feel that something is there. I do still pray, but now always start my prayer as “God & Goddess”. My husband is Jewish, wasn’t raised Jewish and hasn’t been Bar Mitzvah’ed, but felt very strongly that our kids should be raised Jewish. I’m OK with that, told him the day they come to us and say they want to stop, they are allowed to stop. (as opposed to going to church with their best friend on Saturday afternoon and hiding in McDonald’s for fear of the wrath of a Catholic Mom). He has started going to Temple again, something with our daughter, infrequently with me. Not really sure what I’m getting at here, other than I understand your struggle and not quite sure what the answer is. Good luck.
I wasn’t really raised anything (my mom wasn’t religious growing up) but my dad’s side of the family is Mormon and after I went to live in Idaho as a freshman in High School, I was baptized into the Mormon faith (more to please my grandmother than anything else I think). I’ve stayed Mormon (my husband is Mormon, we were married in the Idaho Falls temple) but my personal inner faith/belief strays slightly from the hardline Mormon doctrine–I don’t see the problem with homosexuality, I can’t wrap my head around a heaven that my grandma who isn’t religious can’t be in, I have no desire to convert others to my faith or think that their faith is the ‘wrong’ faith, etc. Even though there are times when I just want to roll my eyes (in church) and feel chafed under some of what are strong points in my church, my inner faith and my personal relationship with God is comfortable and works for me.
Even before I became Mormon though, I would say that I’ve always believed in a Higher power–for me the idea that there is no plan, no Creator, just never occurred.
I was raised Presbyterian but I stopped going to church at age 9 (look, I had to get up at the crack of dawn for school all week and I like sleep). Vaguely believed in the idea of God and Christ as his son through high school, then went to college where I started learning about more faiths and reading criticisms of Christianity and religion in general. I went through a period of soul-searching, and decided there was no reason for me to believe Christianity over, say, Norse mythology, so halfway through college I decided I was agnostic. More recently I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m actually atheist. Religion just . . . isn’t a part of my life, and I don’t really think about it until it’s brought up in the news or in something I’m reading. I actually don’t even feel that desire FOR faith much anymore; I get that sense of calm and wonder from helping people, loving, and looking at the world around me.
I believe in God and that he created the earth. I believe that when we die we will be reunited with loved ones and that there will be a paradise either here on earth or in heaven. I can’t imagine living on this earth without that hope, because although I have a wonderful life and I love it, the thought of this life on this earth being all there is kind of depressing. I don’t believe in taking the bible word for word literally. I believe people should be able to live their lives without judgement as long as they are not hurting anyone. And I believe in the “judge not lest you be judged” adage.
I am an atheist, which describes what I don’t believe in: the supernatural. And I am a humanist, which describes what I do believe in: humans’ tremendous power to affect our own lives and the lives of others, positively and negatively.
Unlike some other posters, I do not long for faith at all. In fact, I find the concept of faith — a person’s ability to fervently or even passingly believe in something that defies sense and for which there is no scientific reason to believe in — quite frightening. It’s that kind of thinking that stands in the way of scientific progress, medical advances, human rights.
I reject the notion that people should have a system of supernatural rewards and punishments to goad them into behaving ethically and decently toward one another. I want to be good to other people because mutual respect and kindness make for good societies. We are all in this together. (That’s the humanist aspect.)
People sometimes seem very alarmed when they discover that I am an atheist (a happy atheist!) and ask me how I can be happy when I believe there’s no meaning to life. But as an atheist, life is sweeter to me. This is it! One shot! I want to make it good for myself, good for my loved ones, and good for as many others as I can. This beautiful, complicated, mysterious world — of which our Earth is but a tiny fraction, whose science we are still scrambling to figure out — is a source of endless fascination to me.
I haven’t read it yet, but I am going to pick up “Parenting Beyond Belief” very soon, which is a new collection of essays on raising children by notable atheists, agnostics, and humanists. I would imagine that it addresses some of the ideas you’re thinking about.
Take care!
Okay– you know I am way to invested in the blogs I read when I see “2 hikers killed on Mt McKinley” and my heart skips a beat until I realize JB is on Mount Hood this weekend.
I am an Atheist and having a child has not changed that, if anything, it has made me more firm in my beliefs. Teej has stated my own feelings in a perfect and eloquent manner.
To quote Stephen Colbert, “Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?” :)
This is the first time I’ve come across your site and from reading past posts and seeing what wonderful, intelligent, insightful readers you have, I am wuite sad I missed out before but glad to be here now.
This question hit a chord with me as this is something I toss and turn with all the time. We are raising our daughter agnostic, as my husband and I are, and part of me always wonders if I am depriving her of the safety net of comfort in religion that I had as a child.
One of the most poignant things I rememberd was the nighttime prayer which always helped me drift to sleep feeling safe, warmed, and loves.
‘Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take’
I knew if anything happened to me, I would be safe. Now, faithless, I am not so sure, and often, that scares me.
This topic prompted me to write my own post that made me think, cry, and smile. Thanks for probing my brain on a rainy Saturday at home with a sick one-year-old where my most scintillating observation is that her snot is not yellow anymore. ;)
I agree with you and many of the other posters: at best, I am agnostic but I do consider myself spiritual. I’ve often wished (though less so in my adult life) for the comfort, peace of mind, and certainty of religious Faith. But I just don’t have it and don’t buy most of the dogma most religions seem to insist upon.
As for Riley’s biting you, that must really bite. HA-HA. But seriously, my mother told me that I bit her once, and that she immediately bit me back. That was the first and the last time I ever bit her or anyone else.
I think I remember the day I tried the biting (I do remember many things from a very young age), and if my memory is correct, what I recall is less the pain of being bitten than utter shock at being bitten by my mother. I remember thinking that the bite hurt, but mostly that I was insulted that my mother had bitten me. It wasn’t very nice of her! and somehow she seemed . . . undiginified or immature for doing it. I got the point: biting isn’t nice and a person looks silly when doing it to another person.
Not that I completely grapsed all the subtleties, but biting suddenly seemed rather petty. I think kids can understand a lot more than we give them credit for, or at least they can get the gist of things, even if they can’t put them entirely in context and use appropriate vocabulary to articulate their thoughts and feelings.
I believe in a higher being, and in one’s own personal heaven where families are reunited if you want to be reunited, or you can play ps3 all day long and never have to pay…
That’s about it.. I look at all faiths as being true and all gods and goddesses as being various forms of the same higher being. I was never raised in a religion strictly. I was raised celebrating christmas for the idea of gift giving and being charitable. Easter was all about the Easter Bunny. I did go to a Sunday School and a Christian DayCare, and I prayed, attended some services. However it never became a part of my life aside from being there. It still isn’t a part of my life. I classify myself as Agnostic because I don’t want to be tied down to any religion because there are parts I disagree and agree with in all of them.
My children will learn like I did. They will be exposed to the traditional American holidays and values. They will know the Christian story, but they will also learn about other religions and will respect other religions if I have my way about it. They can choose what they want to be when they want to.
Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, how’s the pajama rage going? My husband and I are in full agreement that we will be dealing with the same issue in the future, so any additional tips would be oh-so helpful.
You have the nicest comments section. I usually hate reading comments especially when they devolve into a hate match. So now I feel like if all of these readers are so nice and telling you their thoughts I want to type something in too, because this is a group I don’t mind joining. I was raised Catholic and I am an atheist. The Catholic part is now like an ethnicity because the learning the rituals as a child informs my life as an adult. Now I just have a very strong sense of self and community that supports me during rough times.
On the biting I think your reaction was just right. I couldn’t leave a comment about that on club mom because I read the comments as far as the bite him back people and I had to go away. If he does bite again try to remember to lean into the bite don’t pull away, this is hard to do but will cause you less pain and usually surprises the biter into letting go. I speak from experience. When kids are little its easy to just swoop in and pick them up when they are acting nuts, but I always try to imagine that if someone did that to me I would probably be pissed and bite or kick them too, especially if I didn’t know enough words to curse them out yet.
I am Seventh-Day Adventist. I went to the church schools all my life, rebelled, went through the typical young adult “what is truth” phase and then really started studying out of curiousity. When you learn for yourself, NOT by listening to what others say, it is an amazing experience. I found that so much of the bible was true, that prophecies were really fulfilled to the day they said they would be, that the bible coincided with history perfectly, that the bible gave us clues to the universe that science wouldn’t discover until later . . . it was a very good feeling to learn that there IS something out there and the answers ARE right in front of us, if we choose to look. I started feeling like, if many parts of the bible are true and if the bible does not contradict itself then all of the bible is true and I am screwing myself like pretending it doesn’t exist! Anyway, I always try to encourage others to just take the time to learn and study and look into it . . . it can be a really big thing to miss out on.
I am Seventh-Day Adventist. I went to the church schools all my life, rebelled, went through the typical young adult “what is truth” phase and then really started studying out of curiousity. When you learn for yourself, NOT by listening to what others say, it is an amazing experience. I found that so much of the bible was true, that prophecies were really fulfilled to the day they said they would be, that the bible coincided with history perfectly, that the bible gave us clues to the universe that science wouldn’t discover until later . . . it was a very good feeling to learn that there IS something out there and the answers ARE right in front of us, if we choose to look. I started feeling like, if many parts of the bible are true and if the bible does not contradict itself then all of the bible is true and I am screwing myself like pretending it doesn’t exist! Anyway, I always try to encourage others to just take the time to learn and study and look into it . . . it can be a really big thing to miss out on.
I am Seventh-Day Adventist. I went to the church schools all my life, rebelled, went through the typical young adult “what is truth” phase and then really started studying out of curiousity. When you learn for yourself, NOT by listening to what others say, it is an amazing experience. I found that so much of the bible was true, that prophecies were really fulfilled to the day they said they would be, that the bible coincided with history perfectly, that the bible gave us clues to the universe that science wouldn’t discover until later . . . it was a very good feeling to learn that there IS something out there and the answers ARE right in front of us, if we choose to look. I started feeling like, if many parts of the bible are true and if the bible does not contradict itself then all of the bible is true and I am screwing myself like pretending it doesn’t exist! Anyway, I always try to encourage others to just take the time to learn and study and look into it . . . it can be a really big thing to miss out on.
God as a higher power ~ yes, Religion ~ no. Raised as Methodist, Too many denominations for any one particular to be THE right one for my thinking. If ANYTHING I believe in Guardian Angles/Guides whatever you want to call them….. my son was 18 months and was outside with grandpa when he went to go check the mail on his own. All the sudden horns starting blaring outside and when I ran around the house a woman with long read hair was holding him bringing him up the lawn, grabbing him and hugging him tightly I turned to thank her and she, the truck that had been in the drive were gone in a matter of seconds.
Flash forward… Sam is 7, we’re shopping in a downtown college district, cute little boutique, Sam goes to check out the Teradactyl painting on the opposite wall.. I move to the next display, then go to the painting.. no Sam. I run screaming his name over the store and in walks Sam holding the hand of a woman with long red hair. I got on my knees hugging him to me and I heard her whisper thathe was just trying to find me. I looked up and she was gone.
Eight months ago, on our way to my husbands office open house I saw a woman with long red hair standing about 30 yards away from an intersection where we were sitting, waiting to turn. I thought nothing of her stareing intently our way. 45 Minutes later I get a call on my cell phone from Sam(17yrs old now). He had flipped his car and had been suspended upside down, being held only by his safety belt. If he hadn’t been wearing it he would not be here today. She didn’t prevent the accident, but she was letting me know she is still around by showing up before the accident. I BELIEVE that.
I do not believe in God. I do not understand Christians who pick and choose. I believe songs like “Jesus take the wheel” are a blight, aimed at making it OK to do nothing. Most religion is a placebo to control educated choice. Did somebody say Opiate? I believe that all god figures started as a method to be less afraid of the unexplainable, and that the unexplainable changes with evolution. I believe in the Golden Rule as the only logical way for large diverse populations to get along. I believe we still have a lot to learn about shared consciousness. I believe it is more comforting to accept that there is no God than to accept that any god would allow the turmoil we have created. I believe the Christian right should sit in judgment of nobody. AL
I’m not sure. However, as far as organized religion goes, I am a huge fan of the Unitarian Universalist Church as well – it enables you to be spiritual in a very vague sort of way without any judgment. It’s churchy-like stuff for agnostics. And I don’t think all agnostics are atheists. Not even close.
There was a time in my life – not that long ago – that I was absolutely pagan with a Wiccan slant, which has a lot of principles I believe in to this day. What I didn’t like about it, truthfully, was the organized aspect to it that got my hackles raised. Well, that and the Darq Raven of the Night types who dyed their hair black, rimmed their eyes in kohl and declared themselves Wiccan. Dear God.
I’m a Catholic and my husband came into the Church the year before we got married, so we’re Super Catholic! I believe in the whole thing, including the part where we don’t judge other people and where we love everyone and rejoice always. I have a good friend who is an agnostic, and she has gone through some soul searching in recent years, after having a child. You’re a smart person, Linda, and you’ll find your way, whatever it is. It sounds like you already have, in many ways. And what more can any of us ask for, really?
And, here I was thinking I would be the lone Mormon…or surely the lone Mormon-democrat! I was raised in the LDS church and I am very grateful for that. It hasn’t always been easy for me to have faith, and sometimes I have questioned, sometimes I have decided that I didn’t believe, that I should just walk away. But something in me wouldn’t do it, I kept feeling there was something to all of this. Although I was raised Mormon, it was only a year ago that I really read the Book of Mormon cover to cover. I don’t know what to say except that I recieved a powerful witness that it was true. I believe in Jesus Christ and I believe in God. What I have come to believe most strongly is that he is a God of love and a God of acceptance. I don’t believe he ever stops loving his children, and that is amazingly comforting to me, as I tend to be something of a pain. I have really loved reading the comments here, and I hope that I’m not being reduntant or obnoxious.
Raised semi Catholic (probably out of habit for my father and my mother had no real religion when she moved to this country…) She was very open and explored religion. I had a love/hate thing with Catholism. It scared me that I was going to be punished for being bad and all that jazz and when I finally realized I had a choice I was good with that. I am agnostic but probably lean most toward Atheist and I agree with a pp who said Teej said it best.
Also, if you have not seen it I found the movie ‘What the (Bleep) Do We Know?’ fascinating as it links science and spirituality in our everyday lives. Check it out, it might offer some interesting tid bits with your dilemma.
Finally, I recently had these feelings but mostly I realized that I was feeling this way because I thought Matthew (my son) needed to be taught something “religious”. I spoke with my husband and he said he was all for teaching him about every religion but he not going to choose for him. Then it dawned on me – the old Catholic guilt was licking at my ankles. It was not really about Matthew not having religion or that I was not providing that for him – it was just what I knew so I let it go and I felt better instantly.
I’m a Christian I went to Christian school all through my elementary and Junior High years, and went to church with my friends, but my parents did not attend. I never lost my faith, but I did lean on earthly things to complete me. When I lost my soul mate (we broke up, he didn’t die or anything) and my dream job in the same month, I was devastated, and felt like I had no purpose. I started going to church with some friends and started living my faith. I really enjoy doing for others behind the scenes, and I find so much wisdom in the teachings of Christ. I am not a fan of organized religion, and I do believe that a lot of the Bible is myth and other parts are true stories, and some of those are colored by their authors. Jesus was asked, “What is the most important commandment?” He said, “Love the Lord thy God, and love your neighbor as yourself.” I really think that world peace could seriously boil down to that, if only we were all on the same train.
And then, I married an agnostic. The end.
Okay, now that I’m not the only one.I saw the news on the two men killed on Mt.mckinley and had a freak out.Then I realized its Mt.Hood your husbands adventuring on.Why are husbands like our additional child?I have four daughters and my husband gets into more accidents than they do.Climbing ,cutting,burning,etc.Oh and holding fireworks while they are going off!My favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raised Catholic (including a stint a Catholic college, from which I graduated!) but man, I’ve been to masses all over the globe with my folks and a lot of it doesn’t jibe with my ideas about how to make the world a better place. I gave it up and all was good, I never really looked back…but once my kid was born, I felt like I wanted him to have some exposure to what religion was all about – albeit in a way that felt comfortable to me and his agnostic dad. We’ve been attending Unitarian Universalist services for over a year now. I feel powerfully happy when I get to go on Sundays- there is an amazing community, people are very open and it challenges me to be a better person. There is diversity, social justice movement, meditation, opportunities to continue to grow into the person I am, and an awesome choir (and I’m not a church-musicy kinda chick…but then again, this isn’t your average church music!). Thanks for opening this dialogue.
I was raised Catholic by a very liberal family. My dad is a deacon, yet we don’t pray at meals and they never made us go to confession or suggested that we were ever going to hell. I had a great experience with my family’s religion. I am no longer Catholic, or any religion, but I have studied many and respect them all. I believe in a higher power and a divine order. I like to take little parts of all different belief systems that make sense to me and just go with my intuition. I believe that anything is possible.
We baptized our daughter Catholic after YEARS of discussion before ever getting pregnant. My husband has very bad associations with organized religion which made the decision even more difficult. What we came to was that without knowledge of some kind, without a foundation to *question*, it will be hard for our daughter to forge her own spirituality. So we will monitor her Catholic “upbringing” which may be similar to mine, where we grasp the moral concepts that make Catholicism good, and reason out the things that make Catholicism suck. We’ll see how that turns out.
Jew! I’m a Jew! And I love my religion. I couldn’t pick or even make up a better one (well, for me). There’s no heaven/afterlife in store for me. My only crack at conciousness with my body/personality attached is the life I’m living right now. Sorta changes things, doesn’t it?
The other nice thing about my religion is that no one is holier than anyone else. And masturbation is A-OK.
I’m sitting here, agonizing over what to write, to explain how I feel about religion. But here’s what I’ve finally settled on.
I’m an atheist. I strongly believe that religions, churches, all of it is done so that people who are uncomfortable with their place in the universe can feel better. There’s nothing wrong with that, I support the idea of religion, but for me? It’s not something I need at this point in my life, I’m comfortable with the idea of being worm food.
That being said, I was raised Catholic, and I still occasionally attend Mass (Christmas, Easter, and Mother’s Day). The traditions, the predictability, the screaming babies in the church… it’s comforting in a weird way. I don’t believe a word of it, but I still go.
I hope that made some sort of weird sense. For Riley, though, I think having non-practicing parents is the best way to raise a child. Take him to different churches/synagogues/temples when he’s a little older, so he’s aware that religion in out there. Support him if he looks for it on his own, but don’t force any of it on him.
I am anxious t read the other comments when I have more time later.
I was raised in a Lutheran church and home and briefly studied religion in college. It continues to be the most valuable class I took. the class was an introduction to all types of religion, and left me with an understanding of why our world has wars, religiously speaking.
My sister was killed in the Oklahoma City Bombing, her death left me with a distaste for our Lutheran faith, as well as a need that there was a purpose to her death. I will raise my boys in a church, to provide them the expereicnes I had with the Christian faith, as well as an view into other religions.
In my life, I have a version of the ‘god’ I need to believe in to understand my past, and look forward to the amazing future of my family. This being is christian, budist, islamic, and my piece of heaven.
If my sons can grow up, happy in their lives, knowing that a higher being and belief exists. It will be up to them to decipher that belief.
::Raises hand:: I’m a Christian. If you want my denomination, here goes: I’m a recovering Catholic, re -dunked 2 years ago in a Korean Seventh-day Adventist Church. Um. I’m blond-haired, blue-eyed, my Confirmation name was Catherine b/c I thought she was the most feminist saint. Needless to say, my family was exceedingly pleased with my decision.
Abysmally flawed, yearning to know what the Bible had for a woman who refused to be marginalized, I was drawn to Adventism b/c of its lifestyle. The church purports to live a life close to Christ (i.e., we are health nutty, keep a sabbath from Fri sundown to Sat sundown) and that has been my experience.
I don’t have the right words to share my faith or to wish others a meaningful spiritual journey. I wouldn’t like to know the person I’d be outside of this faith, though. It’s made my life very rich and meaningful, and has tempered my impulses to grafitti a lot of highway overpasses. Not kidding.
I am a Christian. I was raised Catholic and went to a catholic school. For some weird reason here in Chicago Illinois there is some pride in that. I remember when I was 12, someone told me they were a Christian, and I thought that sounded really weird. To me being CATHOLIC was the only way. (Little did I know that Catholics fall under the Christian umbrella) DAH! Anyway, went on to college in Texas and WHOA NELLY!!! It was a whole new world down there. Since then I have been riding the holy roller coaster. I have my ups and downs with Faith. Some days, I am so sure it is the truth and some days I am so sure we are all so foolish to believe! I “practice” now at a Lutheran church. It has some comforts of my background, but also some differences that appeal to me. I think I prefer the non-denomination approach though.
I feel the only way to be sure of your faith is to question it. My wish is that some day when our time comes and we are 1 millisecond away from it all being over… Jesus will appear and say “so are you with me?” and of course we all go. Not sure what heaven would be like… but I do hope for it. I do not think that Christianity is the ONLY way. That is impossible! I feel that God created us and made us all different and we all will have a different way to be close to him or whatever… (back in the Texas days… I did not feel this way)
Anyway… I would love to sit in a room with all y’all and talk about this for hours! Lastly, my 5 year old daughter told us at dinner last night “sometimes I just don’t believe.” And we were happy to hear that. That she is OK with not being sold on the idea just yet w/o her own experiences and questions etc.
So have a good night and God Bless! ;)
Sundry- you are awesome!
Oh- and the biting thing… I think you handled it great!
OH- and JB is freaking crazy! Did he NOT watch Grey’s Anatomy???
I am a Christian and I believe what Jesus said,”Seek and you will find.” He also said “The truth will set you free.” I am constantly seeking after Him and I know that God isn’t afraid of doubt, of searching. If you search for Him with an open mind and an open heart you WILL find Him.
I had some conflicting feelings about God and religion when I was in high school. Because science offers us so much proof and God requires we live without it. How could I deny evolution, the big bang etc.. I think these doubts are pretty common for our generation. I reconciled this when a science teacher proposed that both ideas don’t have to be separate. Isn’t it more likely that God’s “Creation” is highly scientific? The Bible doesn’t talk about Him waving a magic wand. It seems more likely that there is some Divine Scientist with all the answers that we can admit is intellectually superior to us and since we will never fully understand we can just trust that we’re in good hands because he knows the answers.
Side Note: Have you ever heard of Fowler’s Stages of Faith Development? He’s a developmental psychologist. Google it or check out one of his books(Faithful Change or Stages of Faith) if you have time. It is not specifically religious and can be applied to any kind of belief system.
I’m a nondenominational Christian. My mom dragged us to an exceedingly dull church full of old people w/o much explanation as a kid, so when I was introduced to the concept of a relationship with the divine it was pretty much a total revelation in my life. I’ve been a Christian for almost 20 years (yikes), and struggle with my faith (and disenchantment with the imperfect community we call the church) periodically, but I think I’m in this for the long haul.
I’m not going to argue or defend Christian beliefs, since you’ve said that they don’t speak to you– but I would request that you make sure that you got your information from a thinking, vibrant Christian who really seems to love God– and not from televangelists or close-minded doofuses. Since Christianity’s been the “default” religion here for generations, we have a lot of those types in our midst. And sadly, they’re loud and they get the most press. But I’d say that they poorly demonstrate Christ’s teachings or what a relationship with Christ can do for your life.
I believe, like someone above said, that those who truly seek will find the truth. So enjoy the journey, Linda. It’s a wild one.
I am a Pagan of the Earth-based variety. I celebrate the seasons of the year, and the personally obvious connection we have to Mother Nature. I believe everything is interconnected and everything is blessed. I believe in personal responsibility for one’s time on this earth. I believe in kindness, and in trying my best to respect and honor my place in the universe.
I am a christian. I am not a perfect christian. I grew up Methodist and am still to this day. I do not believe that there is only one true religion. Who knows. We’ll see one day either when we die or at the end of the earth. But I do know one thing, when that time comes I want to go to heaven and not to hell. I do know that there are plenty of people out there that do not believe in God or in Jesus Christ. That’s their choice. Live your life the way you can be pleased and happy with.
Deep topic! I love that there’s no anger in this discussiuon!
I am a Christian. I was raised Methodist & still am. I believe in the basic principles of Christianity, but am not sure about the literal messages in the Bible. It’s been translated so many times & meanings change in different languages, that I just can’t believe the Bible we read today is as it was meant to read. IMHO, I see the Bible as a jumping-off point for discussion & analysis, not as a literal be-all & end-all.
My son was born 2 years after the death of my father & I like to think he was the 1st to meet Niblet. My hubby is atheist & we’ve had several discussions how to raise the boy. We’re playing it by ear for now, but probably should make a decision soon…
Maybe it’s too late to comment, but I really want to.
I was raised half-assed Mormon, living in Utah, it’s a given. Growing up, I never felt any kind of spiritual feeling that others’ felt. Even when praying or going to church did I ever feel anything for religion or even felt there was some kind of higher power.
I struggled with faith and belief for years and thought being agnostic was the way for me. And it was for a while. I studied different types of faith including Buddhism, Taoism, Catholosism, etc, nothing seemed right.
Then I met my husband, who is an atheist, and the more we discussed it, the more I realized that I too am an atheist.
I think it is all just a preference on what you feel comfortable with and what you want to be part of your belief system.
It’s a difficult thing to come to terms with, good luck.
My wife, daughter (18 months) and I are Unitarian-Universalists (uua.org)
Summed up: One church, many paths.
UU’s are groups of spiritual seekers with no one binding religious train of thought. Some are Taoists, others Christian, others Atheists. But all are drawn together by questioning minds and loving hearts.
I would recommend a visit to a UU church for anyone looking to start on a spiritual quest, as UUs love two things: Coffee (usually served after every service, with snacks of course) and conversation. Especially about spiritual ideas.
There’s my 2 cents.
I am an Episcopalian, and I find great comfort in the sense of tradition and ritual of the Church and in its extremely liberal bent (ordaining gay priests, being pro-choice, etc.). I find this denomination to be very intellectual in its approach, and exceedingly welcoming to people of all faiths and ideas. I believe in Christianity; but I believe in it as a non-fundamentalist does. I also believe that all of the world’s religions are connected, and that there is no right or wrong when it comes to beliefs, except when belief is used as a mechanism of control, hate and/or destruction — which, unfortunately, it often is.
As I’ve gotten older, and as I am coming closer to being a parent, I take more and more pleasure from religion and spirituality. I’ve also found that traveling makes me increasingly spiritual — when I see the good in people around the world, the commonality among cultures, and the beauty of life and nature, I find it impossible to deny that there is a force that connects us all, and that we did not get here by mere accident.
I know a lot of people struggle with the concept of “if there is a God, why does the world suck so much sometimes?” but I personally find immense comfort in faith when faced with grief or confusion or devastation. I think that suffering, unfortunately, is part of the human experience, and that there is good that flows even from the worst tragedies — witness 9/11 and how people pulled together and bonded afterward (which I can say truly happened, since I was here in NY on that day and have been ever since).
Anyway, I am getting way too long-winded here and probably sound preachy, which isn’t my intent, but I will close by saying that it’s unfortunate that Christians as a whole get derided so much these days. Not that anyone here has done that — I just mean that when I say I’m Episcopalian, people just go, oh that’s nice and assume I’m yet another quasi-nonbeliever who is identified with their parents’ religion (which I’m not, as I participate in organized religion in a way that they didn’t when I was growing up); but if I say “I am a Christian” they think, “UH OH JESUS FREAK ALERT.” As though one can’t be a thinking person, an intellectual, a successful professional and also be a believer in Christianity. That’s kind of lame.
Atheist. I better make the most of every second I have on this planet, for it’s the only chance I have.
So I’m really late (darned long week-end away!) but I still want to comment. I was raised Catholic in the sense that we went to mass on Sundays until I was about 16 and my mom finally admitted she didn’t like going to mass and neither did I, so we decided to drop it. I went to a catholic high-school only because it was the closest to my house. I was never confirmed because I felt then that 14 was just too young to choose a religion for the rest of my life and I’m still not confirmed because I’ve found being catholic doesn’t do it for me. At this point, I’d say I believe in some kind of higher being but I don’t believe in organized religion. I also don’t believe that this higher being will take away all of my troubles or will magically make my life better – I have to work to make those things happen myself. I probably believe in life after death because I’m scared witless to think I will never see my husband or my son again if I die ;-)
My husband is an aethist. He believes in nature and science. He firmly believes this life is all we have. I don’t expect him to suddenly start believing in some higher being and he doesn’t expect me to stop. It’s never been a big deal for us. Sometimes I worry that I “should” be raising my son in some religion, but then I realize that what I really want is to raise him with certain values: do unto others as you would have done to you, don’t judge other people, and please please find something in yourself or this world that fills you with meaning or purpose beyond buying everything you see on TV or at the mall to try to fill the void. So, I will just have to teach him those things myself – religion is not necessary to teach those values.
One more vote for UU here. I was raised in a family that is deeply atheist back both parental lines. But I need to be challenged to think about my place in the community and the web of life. Now that I have a middle school aged child, I am so grateful for the UU youth programs. We heard faith statements from the middle schoolers on Sunday, some were atheist, some Buddhist, some humaist…and many who had not yet decided. All had examined their beliefs and who they are and how the fit into the community.
It provides a different education and opportunity for my son than he gets in school. This sort of self reflection used to be part of growing up but there is so much coming at kids these days that I found we really had to commit to putting aside time for reflection. The UU church provides a great guided opportunity for kids.
I’m a Christian, but I don’t think that means God is. From what I can tell in my vast 30 years of life, all religions essentially boil down to one thing: God loves us. How we choose to accept that love is entirely up to us, whether it’s through medidation or prayer or singing or hiking or helping others. We (and we Christians, especially) often, though, screw up in accepting that love and start putting in stupid rules as to who’s entitled to it. But, for me, my faith is: God loves me. God loves you. Because God loves both of us, I’m supposed to love you, too. And if I can’t do that, that’s OK, but no being an asshole to anyone.
Wow – I just read through the majority of the comments here. I really don’t know what to say about all that. I’m a Christian – I believe in the Bible and Jesus Christ. I didn’t really believe in any of it for a very long time but when I met my husband and we began attending church, I started to learn about the Christian faith and what that really means, as opposed to what is on TV or other people’s opinions.
It took me a long time to understand a lot of it – to truly grasp the why’s and why nots of tough issues like abortion, homosexuality, suffering, evolution, etc. I didn’t just read something and say – “Oh, okay – I don’t think abortion is okay anymore because it says so right here.” I read, I listened, and I prayed and over time, the beliefs that I thought defined me and made me who I was didn’t make as much sense anymore. I realized that it was really not all about me and what I think and “feel” – there is a much larger plan at work here, and I, incidentally, am not in charge. I look back even five years ago and marvel at how much I have changed – for the better, in my book. It is disheartening to see so many comments about the “rigid” Christians and their alleged lust for judgment of others.
True Christians believe in the Bible and try to live their lives in accordance with God’s word. If others choose to not believe and not live their lives in accordance with God’s word, that’s their choice, not mine. I’m not sitting around judging them – I may believe that a particular person is not living a Christian lifestyle but I certainly don’t hate them for it. If they don’t want to be Christians, that is their decision. God gave us all free will because He wants us to choose a relationship with Him and obviously, lots of people don’t make that choice. I have a lot more to do with my life and ways to use my relationship with God other than hating on people. There are too many people out there who actually want to know God – and I am happy to share my faith and my journey with them.
The very best advice I have for you – learn about God. Try reading the Bible, but don’t get some scary King James version – try a more reader-friendly study Bible that has notes and comments in it. Or hey – be really brave – go to a Christian bookstore and look at lots of stuff. You may not agree with a lot of things you see or read but at least you’ve looked to see what is really there. Most importantly – make your own decisions based on your own research. That is what really worked for me.
I agree with another reader – if you are seeking God, you will find Him. Now I am really going to freak your ass out (yes, I am a Christian who still struggles with the occasional cuss word) and give you a little Bible quote – don’t scream! It was a favorite of mine and still gives me great comfort – “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in…” Revelations 3:20. This quote, as well as a painting called “Light of the World” (look it up on the internet if you’re interested) had great significance to me as a new Christian because it really sent home the message that it was up to me to open the door and invite Jesus in. (In the painting, Jesus is knocking on a door but there is no handle on his side). I could have refused to open it and I still have the choice to shut it but as it stands, I am sure glad I chose to open it.
Okay – sorry for going on. That’s more than enough from me. I hope you find whatever it is that you are seeking.
I’ve always had a problem with religion but simply because it’s practiced in groups. I have NEVER and will NEVER understand why that is. I’m uncomfortable with the word “worship” especially when our society has forced us to believe that the correct way to do so is in groups. My spirituality is extremely personal and something I find very hard to explain to others. I wholeheartedly believe in something along the lines of a benevolent caretaker of us silly humans and speaking (not praying) to this entity about troubles or choices helps to ease my mind. I could just be talking to myself for all I know. I guess to put it in more Christian/Catholic terms, I have a relationship with my guardian angel, but my guardian angel and God are one and the same.
That being said, I am vehemently opposed to bible as a book of religion. I believe the bible is nothing more than a collection of fables. Some with very important beautiful lessons to be learned but some tales that are very unjust, hypocritical and self-righteous that teach nothing but ethnocentricity and intolerance.
I think faith is important because I do believe we need to realize that sometimes things are out of our hands and it’s comforting to believe that they might be in the hands of someone/something who is more capable than we are. Some people may think that that’s a selfish way to see religion (”You imagine something greater than yourself just because it makes YOU feel better?) but I see no problem with that. When we were kids, we trusted our parents to help us out of binds or to handle things we couldn’t and that wasn’t selfish, was it? I think trust and faith are two incredible virtues to have and coincidentally, they’re the ones I have the most difficulty with when it comes to other people.
For me, I trust this entity to help me through hard times and I constantly remind myself to thank this entity when my life is going great. It all makes perfect sense to me, but probably won’t to anyone else.
I would say I lean towards Christianity. The main problem is that I can’t stand Christians, or church. I don’t really like hanging out in religious settings. My views on how literally the Bible should be taken all but ensure constant friction and difficulty in discussing matters of faith with Christians. I’ve had so many bad experiences with Christians that if the modern church in America is the only way to heaven, I would rather burn in hell than spend a lifetime dealing with pious finger wagging know it all Christians. I can’t turn around without running into another church going asshole acting like they are in some secret douche bag competition. I just can’t justify the Church I see being true followers of some holy and just God. I have some good friends who go to church. My family goes to church. I don’t hate every christian, at all. I just don’t believe I see anything of merit in organized religion. So I believe what I believe alone and live how I think I should live without a group of like minded people behind me to somehow validate my opinions. Religion can do whatever it wants, and I’ll do the same.
Oh yeah. If Riley bites you you should bite his ass right back. Kids learn well from pain. I know I did. I mean it’s kind of gross to put a baby in your mouth, but maybe you could just spank him or something. I kind of like the eye for an eye approach though.
I’m atheist. I tried religion in high school, but it just seems silly and nonsensical to me. I’m sort of anti-Christian on a general level (while I like many on a personal level). I think it’s more the evangelical sort who feel like they have to convert you or oh my god all hell is going to break loose and stuff!!!! I hate that sort of thing. People who sign emails with stuff about “in him” when they are BUSINESS EMAILS, people! Separate your religion from your work! Anyway. Ahem. I went off a little there.
I prefer to think of myself as agnostic, but probably if I dug deep I’d be atheist. I think it was on this post I read the funny quote along the lines of “agosticism is atheism without the balls”. True ‘dat.
I don’t want to try to be accepting and understanding right now in this post, though I really am. So here’s what I have to say. I absolutely cannot stand, tolerate, or even consider church-based religion. It makes my stomach turn. Why? I live in Texas and it is rammed down my throat almost daily. You cannot meet anyone around here without them “assuming” you go to church and agree with their opinions. It’s really ridiculous. In fact, I’m so sick of the question, “Which church do you attend”, that I am contemplating and really should start answering with, “WE HOME CHURCH”. Home-schooling is accepted and yep, we HOMECHURCH people. I teach my daughter lots of things she needs to know about being a decent human being.
Here’s my beef (I guess mostly with Christianity):
1. What happens to the people who aren’t “saved”? Does God really only let “saved” people into his heaven?
2. Am I not going to heaven b/c I haven’t been saved, but joe schmo on death row who murdered his wife and became saved in prison is?
3. What happens to all the buddhists, jews, muslims when they die? In the Christian world do they all perish in hell b/c they don’t believe Jesus died on the cross for their sins?
I find it all too much. I believe in the religion of kindness, love, and leaving the world a better place. Religion is just so very hypocritical.