May 31, 2007

It was nearly 90 degrees in the Seattle area yesterday, and of course the evening news had a Dire Segment about how if it’s this hot in May, what can it mean for the rest of the summer? As though it’s going to stay consistently hot from here on out, as if it wasn’t rainy and chilly four days ago. I just don’t think a Pacific Northwesterner can be happy unless they’re bitching about the weather.

Riley and I were at our Wednesday playdate in the afternoon and despite multiple slatherings of SPF 714820 I managed to burn my shoulders. Just the tops of my shoulders. Not the rest of my arms. A couple weeks ago, I got a sunburn on the parts of my arms not covered by a t-shirt—you know, the farmer tan look?—so now I have this bizarre strip of whitish, unexposed skin between my reddish shoulders and my somewhat tanned arms. I’m telling myself that it looks tribal, rather than dorky. “Oh, that?” I plan to say, should anyone ask whether or not I’m suffering from an exotic skin-discoloration disease, “I’m, like, totally into body modification.”

Ashley took a picture of Riley yesterday which I feel captures the more challenging side of his personality quite nicely:


It looks quite a bit like the photo at the top of this blog, doesn’t it? That’s because he is ALWAYS TALKING IN ALL CAPS.

Also, when I compare Riley to a howler monkey, you probably think I’m kidding around (just like when I say I’m going to stuff him in a wood chipper, which is, ha ha, obviously not serious at all) (except on days of the week ending in Y). However, BEHOLD:


Eerie, is it not? Ah, mein pint-sized simian Fuhrer.


27 Responses to “And on this farm he had a Genus Alouatta”

  1. warcrygirl on May 31st, 2007 12:22 pm

    I also have a Farmer Tan, only because I’m still too chunky to wear any top that doesn’t have sleeves. I don’t know why. Also: Howler monkey? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  2. g~ on May 31st, 2007 12:27 pm

    Evidently, your son is the missing link.
    Submit him to scientists–pronto.
    May also explain his behavior…just a thought.

  3. mrscrumley on May 31st, 2007 12:28 pm

    That’s a great picture. I think that I probably have a similar one or two of Fuller doing the same thing. But I never consider to see what kind of monkey he actually looks like.

  4. Pete on May 31st, 2007 12:40 pm

    Does he throw poo at you too?

  5. Donna on May 31st, 2007 1:06 pm

    I laid bricks in my backyard to extend my porch to the grass kinda, with plants in between them, (thyme and mint, so when the dogs run through it into the house it will smell pretty) and got so hot I took off my shirt and was just wearing my sports bra. Alas, I have not been doing my yoga so was unable to get sunscreen all the way to the edges of the bra. So now, I have white, with brown half moons, brown -> )white-> )( ( that looks like this ))((
    This is not the worst part. I also have the plumbers crack sunburn where I was bent over and got burnt in my crack. Oh, except for the finger marks where I put sunscreen on my back and ALMOST interlaced my fingers, like this = = right above the crackage. And it turned REALLY brown. If I could get my legs that color I’d be thrilled.
    I am told to use toothpaste to lighten it up but hell, if I could reach back there to put toothpaste, I could have put sunscreen to begin with. Duh.

    I also would like to know if he flings poo, or if he’s learned that yet? LOL good God that kid is cute!

  6. Bunny on May 31st, 2007 1:45 pm

    OMG! He is the cutest little howler monkey I’ve ever seen!

  7. Michelle on May 31st, 2007 1:57 pm

    Howler monkey?!?! You don’t by chance watch Go Diego Go do you?!

  8. Becky on May 31st, 2007 2:08 pm

    the photo truly does match the one at the top of your blog….and the one of the howler monkey…..g~ might be right! But damn is he cute

  9. Jhianna on May 31st, 2007 3:19 pm

    That’s adorable. From way over here on the other side of the country where the howling is a bit muted :)

    Just kidding – he’s adorable!

  10. Amy on May 31st, 2007 3:31 pm

    *laughs* His teeth really make that picture, for me. Watch out, this howler monkey can *bite*! :-D

  11. Lindy on May 31st, 2007 4:06 pm

    Does he scare other kids/babies? Squidge does, she goes up to them and shouts at them. I can only imagine what it will be like when she can actually speak!

  12. Rakel on May 31st, 2007 4:12 pm

    This has got very little to do with this entry, although the look on Riley’s face is rather fitting, check out

  13. biscuit on May 31st, 2007 4:24 pm


  14. Jem on May 31st, 2007 4:59 pm

    Thats hilarious!

  15. Ashley on May 31st, 2007 6:09 pm

    The similarity is uncanny, seriously uncanny. I think a double frame is in order.

  16. Marie Green on May 31st, 2007 7:31 pm

    I live in a climate that is famous for it’s extreme weather, and I swear people here are disappointed if they don’t have something to complain about. Mild winter? Most normal people would be happy, but here, people feel cheated. Cool summer? Bastard goddesses of weather!

    Oh, and there are worse animals to look like! He does have the howler expression down!

  17. Josh on May 31st, 2007 9:21 pm

    ZEIG HAIL!!!!!!

    Yeah Linda. I’ve got this new job where I work in the sun a lot. A LOT! Not like Baywatch a lot, but I’m in the NC sun for at least an hour and a half a day. I now have to roll up my sleeves to my shoulders so I don’t end up with a wicked farmers tan that looks like I’ve been growing cotton in hell. And if you find that vain, you just try goin home on a Friday with no poon tang because you had a blinding strip of flesh between your bicep and your shirt sleeve. Well, not poon for you. Plus you are married now, so I asume you haven’t got any since Riley was born. But still it sucks for me.

    (just kidding, I’m sure ya’ll have made with the nookie at least twice since then!)
    (that was a boring parent joke. feel free to laugh and tell JB I think parents never have fun)
    (you aren’t really too stuck in parenting to have fun. now I feel bad. My conscience is a total bitch)
    (I’m still not gonna go back and change what I said. That’ll teach that pious little bastard conscience)

  18. AndreAnna on June 1st, 2007 4:09 am

    It’s been hot as hell in NJ and the news was saying the climate shift will make NJ more like CA. I’ll believe it when I’m not shoveling snow out of my driveway in 8 months.

  19. Carrie on June 1st, 2007 11:52 am

    But such a cute little howler monkey he is!

  20. Caitlin on June 1st, 2007 12:39 pm

    Oh man, my ears hurt just looking at him ;-)

  21. Katie on June 1st, 2007 5:27 pm

    This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day!

  22. Melanie on June 1st, 2007 6:49 pm

    Well, he’s not as hairy as the monkey. But give him time, maybe he’ll be a really furry grown man.

  23. Mathew James Didier on June 2nd, 2007 8:29 pm

    Egads! That is a little scary close!

    Our little one goes from whisper to megaphone in 0.0001 pico-seconds… it’s greatly unnerving… but no where near the howler monkey image…

    …that said…

    Everytime she now goes on a screaming tear, you know what image I’m gonna have…

  24. Crystal on June 2nd, 2007 9:33 pm

    Linda! Linda Linda Linda! Look, zombies have infiltrated a moderately famous art exhibit! Check out this week’s PostSecret!

  25. Junniper on June 3rd, 2007 10:40 am

    OK, that’s hilarious. I came over here specifically to leave that very same link that Crystal just left!

    I think we know you too well!


  26. Donna on June 3rd, 2007 8:35 pm

    I immediately thought of you when I saw it. And wondered if you’d sent it in! lol there’s alot of you guys out there.

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