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July 26, 2007

After taking into consideration your helpful comments yesterday, I think I’ll be asking for a somewhat stacked, A-line-ish cut with a few more layers tonight. Not Posh, exactly, because that’s a haircut that has to be followed night and day by an on-staff stylist wielding a pair of scissors—believe me, I’ve had cuts similar to that in the past and the maintenance was insane—plus I have crazy pregnancy hair right now (it sort of freaks me out, actually, how my hair and fingernails are in this fast-forward growth mode; it somehow reminds me of those time lapse nature videos where the flower barrels out of the ground and explodes in a tawdry display of dripping pistil and stamen and ovule) and so a very stylish style isn’t going to work for very long, but in the Posh neighborhood, if you will. Ghetto Posh, without the money or the sour expression or the terrifying rock-hard boobs.

Speaking of celebrities, I saw Mean Girls last night (why? Because Tina Fey, that’s why) and I found it sort of excruciating to watch Lindsay Lohan, and not just because the movie included 5827 close-up shots of the freckle on her upper lip. There’s something so trainwrecky about watching footage of a celebrity before All the Really Bad Stuff started to happen, you want to shout through the screen and warn them to use a LIMO for the love of god—and to maybe rethink the boozy idea that playing with kitchen knives = sexy (christ, at least haul out some legitimate S&M accouterments, you know? Ball gag that Minillo chick)—and yet there’s nothing you can do.

(JB deserves props for watching that with me [although the plethora of miniskirts surely eased his burden], especially since I picked out our last movie: Jet Li’s The One. What can I say, I was really hoping for an ass-kicking 90 minutes of crazy special effects and nonstop action-fu, but it is in fact a terrible, terrible turdfest with the cheesiest wire work ever—they may as well have dangled Li from a fishing pool and swooped him clumsily around for an hour. Bah.)

This week has been kind of dragging for me, and every time I need what basically amounts to a hit of mental nitrous oxide, I watch this video. Oh man, I just watched it again. So, so funny. Bookmark that puppy, and hit me back: what’s the best thing you’ve seen on the internet lately?