September 9, 2007

GENDER TEST

When I say “We really need to work together to clean up the house tonight,” do you hear:

A) “We really need to work together to clean up the house tonight.”

or

B) “Please feel free to run off to Ace Hardware, then disappear into the shop for several hours in a row. Once you hear the vacuum stop, it’s probably safe to come back inside.”

:::

JB and I finished the last of Season 2.5 (yes, 2.5) of Battlestar Galactica last night, and after we finished exclaiming over the leave-you-dangling ending and holy wow, what was going to happen next, I pulled up Netflix to add the next season and OH MY GODS there was no jolly red “Add” button, there was only the evil green “Save” icon to click. And then the text that broke my heart: “Release date is unknown.” Season 3 isn’t . . . we can’t . . . it isn’t available yet?

Can’t speak. Too busy sobbing uncontrollably.

:::

Riley has learned to sing the ABC song, at least in his particular flavor of Toddlerese, and it is sort of disgustingly cute. After having sung it along with him several thousand times now, I suddenly came to a startling realization the other day: the ABC song has the same tune as “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” Does that totally blow your shit, or what?

(Well, it’s possible I’m kind of easily entertained these days. Look, that dog has a puffy tail! Hee hee hee! Here Puff!)

In other developmental news, Riley has also learned an enormously useful skill, thanks to diligent instruction on our part and several theatrical demonstrations. That’s right, he can lick his fingers clean. If you’re thinking that just sounds unsanitary and maybe a little repulsive, you’ve obviously not had to deal with a kid who wants you to wipe off his peanut-butter-coated pinky after every single bite of his lunch (“Mama help? Riwwy pinger?”).

:::

When I was in Oregon for Labor Day weekend, we made multiple stops at Coos Bay’s premiere drive-through coffee joint, Dutch Bros., and I discovered the magic that is a blended iced vanilla latte. It’s like a sweet delicious combination of a milkshake and a coffee slushy. The way Dutch Bros. makes it results in a perfect ice/coffee/milk ratio, where as you drink it you slowly leave behind a sucked-clean pile of shaved ice.

I’ve now tried to re-create this drink at two different Starbucks, and the results were hideous each time. They blend in too much air, so it’s frothy instead of icy. There’s no ice content, it’s just a cold sort of coffee smoothie. Hard to describe, but it’s definitely no good.

Now that I know the Perfect Warm Weather Coffee Drink exists, I feel it is my mission to find a place that can make it. I can’t go back to Dutch Bros. without a helluva road trip, because the only one in Washington is located in Spokane (where presumably there are not 503857281 competing Starbucks), so what’s a person to do? Call Dutch Bros. and beg them for their recipe like a total shivering JUNKIE?

:::

Yesterday, I ate a meal comprised of liverwurst, mini pretzels, pimiento olives, and candy corn. It was so phenomenally wonderful just writing about it makes me slobber a little. There are a few things I really like about pregnancy, and the near-spiritual, angelic-chorus-accompanied full-body appreciation of the occasional junk food splurge is definitely one of them.

See also: Ding Dongs, strange new addiction to; blended lattes, obsession with.

Comments

64 Responses to “Little ado about not much”

  1. Cavu on September 10th, 2007 7:20 am

    Also delicious: Chilled coffee (or mocha) with a scoop of vanilla ice cream slathered in chocolate sauce. In Australia, when you order an “iced coffee,” this is what they bring you. There is no actual ice involved. You could blend it up if you want, or just devour it rootbeer-float style.

  2. Her Ladyship on September 10th, 2007 8:16 am

    I second the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Their Ice Blendeds (whether you go mocha or vanilla) are to die for. TO DIE FOR. Every time I go visit my parents in LA, that’s the first place I go see. Um, after my parents, of course.

  3. Anonymous on September 10th, 2007 8:41 am

    Vietnamese iced coffee with condensed milk. So so good, strong rich and creamy. You should be able to find it in any pho restaurant.

  4. Cobwebs on September 10th, 2007 9:21 am

    I love liverwurst, pregnant or not (if you want a real junk-food experience, try it as a dip: http://www.recipezaar.com/46294).

    Also chicken livers, either just boiled (the way you’d cook them for giblet gravy) or–best of all–dredged in flour and spices and fried like fried chicken.

  5. MRW on September 10th, 2007 9:35 am

    Ah the old “this week-end we have to do X” In ten years that phrase has translated to “this week-end MRW will end up doing X while husband disappears” all but about 3 times. It has been the source of countless arguments in my house and shows no signs of slowing down. Managed to keep cleaning the house from being on the list by hiring a house cleaner 8 years ago and never looking back.

    I have a similar perfect summer coffee drink issue – there is a small coffee stand in Sisters, Oregon that makes the best iced/blended mocha I’ve ever had. Have tried other places in Portland, no dice. Depressing. Since my in-laws live in Sisters we are there about every other month or so and I make sure to get at least one every time because it is coffee perfection.

  6. MRW on September 10th, 2007 9:37 am

    p.s. We watched BG Season 1 like crack addicts just to get caught up in time to watch Seasons 2 and 3 in real time because it’s such an incredible show (oh and we’re geeks) – so sorry to hear Season 3 is not yet available on DVD.

  7. Nicole on September 10th, 2007 9:44 am

    Um.

    I have the rest of the BSG episodes. Email me. We can arrange something. :)

  8. Audrey on September 10th, 2007 11:19 am

    Re: gender test – I left the house, by myself, for the first time in over three days yesterday with specific instructions to get some housework done (I was actually more specific then that) or work on getting the garage straightened up. As I was locking the door behind myself, I heard the football game get turned on. When I came home: “I couldn’t do much because Baby woke up from her nap like five minutes after you left.” Uh, do you think that I don’t do anything when Baby is awake? Then, as I needed his help with something, he conveniently took a work call and didn’t come to help me until I was buried under a pile and was yelling for him…I think that I will power the TV through the vacuum so that the only way he can watch football is while cleaning…. Also, does it take your husband six times as long to do something, including errands, than it takes you? I don’t get it — where’s the vortex?

  9. maria on September 10th, 2007 12:27 pm

    Coos Bay is where my grandparents live (I am in Northern CA) and I grew up taking yearly trips there, so it is always interesting and a bit strange to me when you talk about going there. I will be visiting this weekend actually, for the Prefontaine and to “Cruise the Coos” with family, so I will have to try out this Dutch Bros. concoction.

  10. GoingLoopy on September 10th, 2007 12:49 pm

    Arby’s jamocha shakes are pretty damn tasty.

  11. Rumblelizard on September 10th, 2007 2:19 pm

    There’s a reason that liver is followed by wurst. Which is actually a whimsical German word meaning “Zis meat by-product, it schmeckt wie, how you say, ASS.”

  12. Christy on September 10th, 2007 4:47 pm

    I assume someone already beat me to this, but you can download the rest of season 2 of BSG on iTunes. And if you buy the nifty coaxial cable thingy at walmart, y’all can watch them on your regular TV instead of gathering ’round the ole computer screen.

    This very thing happened to me at 2 am on a monday night, when I realized there was NO REST OF SEASON 2. I have never been so grateful for iTunes as I was at that moment. And even though I told myself I would just get an episode or two to get myself through the cliffhanger, I ended up getting the whole season, an episode at a time. I could have saved myself a lot of money by just going ahead and getting the season pass.

  13. Josh on September 11th, 2007 9:41 am

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (wheeze) ha ha (cough) ha ha hack. You warned him ahead of time? About cleaning. You gotta bush whack the sucker with cleaning. Because yes, he’s a man. We don’t need to clean. In fact you don’t need to clean either, you just go mental if you don’t. And have you considered that maybe he was building something to help with the cleaning? Huh?

    ABC actually goes with several songs, I just forgot the last one. And Battle Star Galactica can’t hold a candle to Heroes, a show written and directed by God. I had a meal that consisted of beer, peanut butter bars, mystery shrimp leftovers, and carrots. But I’m not pregnant. Just a stoner.

  14. Kiernan on September 11th, 2007 1:23 pm

    The secret about the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is if you can’t get to California, you can order a kit online with the coffee extract and flavored powder and make the Iced Blended at home, vanilla or chocolate, in your own blender.

Leave a Reply