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Nov
16
Me: “Um, what the hell is this?”
JB: “What?”
Me: “This. On the sofa. The trap you left me. Where if I sit down next to those pillows a clawed foot will come out and hook me.”
JB: “That’s not a trap. I made a hive for Cat.”
Me: “A . . . cat hive.”
JB: “Yes. A cat hive.”
Me: “Cats don’t have hives.”
JB: “Well what else would you call that?”
Me: “A TRAP.”
JB: “It’s clearly a hive.”
Me: “I will ask my blog readers and if the consensus is that it’s a trap, you owe me twenty bucks.”
JB: “What do I get if they say it’s a hive?”
Me: “What do you think you should get?”
JB: *knowing leer*
The time for voting is NOW. Trap or hive?
(ETA: I’ve closed comments so I can laboriously tally the data. Thanks for your vote! Remember Cat in November!)
Comments
170 Responses to “A slow Thursday night, before Survivor started”
That is TOTALLY a trap.
And I completely forgot to watch Survivor last night. Thank goodness for On Demand!
Snack for a dog?
Absolutely a trap – and I love that picture of Cat stealthily peeking out at the end!
I so want you to win, but I have to say it’s a hive.
Um… looks like a trap to me. I suffer from the trap of getting into bed only to find a dog (or two) have decided to surprise be by already being there. (They look like lumpy pillows under the covers.)
A hive! I do this sort of thing all the time. But … I’ve also been known to build my cat a fort out of boxes. I’ve been single for a long, long time …
Well, where JB really missed it was not calling it a LAIR. Bees have hives, felines have LAIRS so my vote is that it was a trap.
Sorry. Neither. It’s a nest.
It’s a cave/trap.
Totally a hive.
I have to vote trap. I mean look at cat peering out with that one little eye there. He’s obviously using his high powered scope to determine your exact location and range to target. Trap, completely a trap.
It’s a nest!!! :)
I go for a cat CAVE. A trap second but def not a hive. Bzzzz!
This trap reminds me of old shows with island savages and beasts where they’d cover a hole and leave wooden stakes (meow claws!) to capture and kill their prey.
cats dont have hives. clearly cat was trapped. those are really nice photos btw.
Sorry. Definitely a hive for the cat. But a trap for you, with clawed paws ready to sink into your tender flesh. Uh. Do I get two votes?
I have to say trap. What kind of cat has a “hive”?
JB clearly knew what that conversation was going to turn into, which clearly means he wants some good lovin’…and who wants to turn down such a good daddy and husband from good lovin’? So even though I know that cat is deadly….I’m goin’ with hive. love ya! mean it! ;)
TRAP! See the paw sticking out ready to snag you?
it is clearly a fort. or a nest. but maybe your cat is more dangerous then mine.
I suppose it depends on who you are asking — the cat? Your beloved? Either way, I wish I had one — some nights, after long days of teaching…
A hive? I think not. One more vote for TRAP!
Hive!
Clearly a Trap and oh no! Cat got to JB! How did that happen?
Cat and JB team up in an Evil Plot!
I agree with Christine, it’s a fort, or a nest.
Though, knowing how evil your cat is, I might have to change my mind and say it’s a trap.
It’s a TRAP. A TRAAAAAAAP! (yelled from the other end of the country as you innocently start to sit down on the couch)
Oh, totally a trap.
HIVE.
That’s a fort! A fort is sort of like a hive, but it’s also where soldiers (or in this case Cat) plan for attack!
You both win. Take $10 each.
Gotta go with hive.
as much as i enjoy the notion of a cat hive (and may in fact build one for my cats), that is clearly a trap. set for you.
Call it what you will, it’s clearly asking for trouble. It’s not a hive nor is it a trap, per se, because the cat is not trapped. Perhaps “booby trap” is a better term. Either way, I’d stay clear of it. Cat clearly has murder in her eyes.
Hive?? I think not. Trap?? More likely. But I would call it a cat fort. Every day when I make my bed I cover a cat with the afghan that goes on top the bed. It’s a similar situation so that if someone sits on the lump that’s her they are a gonner.
Its really an upholstered tent.
If no one really wins, do you just get to watch?
I vote trap, and so does my dog. So that’s 2 votes for trap. :) (Although my dog suggested that you should buy him a greenie since you’ll have twenty bucks, so that might be an unethical vote to count)…
Trap, trap, DEFINITELY trap! No question. The question is, how will you spend your $20? And does that sum come with a babysitter so you can spend in peace?
hmmm. Was cat there for long? long enough to establish residency status?
My first thought was fort, then lair (because she is so obviously dangerous), then cave (with a handy moon roof/escape hatch). The color is right but hive?? nah.
I gotta vote trap.
Can you trade the 20 bucks for some Haagen Daaz and cheetos??
Hive FTW
Trick question. I, too, believe it to be more a lair or a fort than a hive, but as between a hive and a trap, I have to go with hive.
I, like many others, would have said it’s a cat cave. Lair is also a good word. But the upshot is that JB is right, and it’s time to, um….you know.
I’d really call it more of a Cat Den – but if the choice is Trap or Hive – it would be Trap – A hive would have been a blanket draped around the cat in an intentional manner.
I would call it a hidden hallow, but if I have to choose between hive and trap….trap it is, hives by definition must have a dome shape.
It’s a LAIR. Duh.
Hive…sorry, but i think kitties like a place to “hide”…it would only be a trap if kitty couldn’t escape.
TRAP. I would not want a pissy cat clawing me after I sat on her with my big wide 31 week pregnant Shamu butt!
Thats TOTALLY a Cat Cave!
It’s a trap! Cat’s looking quite evil in that last shot ;)
Well if my only two choice are hive or trap, I’ll go with trap. But seriously it’s a cave. Obviously.
I agree with “nest” and “cave” … but since that isn’t one of my choices I’d say hive. Sorry.
It’s a trap! it’s a trap!
trap
Since Cat is, as we are all well aware, the embodiment of evil, I’m going to go with trap. Careful out there… ;)
Lair! Or, trap. Hive is just weird.
As much as I like the idea of a “cat hive”, and as little as I want to deny JB some Sundrylovin’, Cat is definately quite aware this is a trap, and she has coerced JB into making her one. Trap it is.
It’s a double whammy trap. You could get hooked and Cat could get pancaked.
Is Cat winking at us?
Gotta go with Hive, even though he obviously meant lair…
I… My sympathies all lie with you, of course, but I have to say that given Cat’s eeeeevil nature, it’s a hive. You know she’s just spending her days trying to get Dog to be her drone.
Its most certainly a hive. Trap not included. See package for details.
I vote for hive…JB needs some lurve.
That’s not a trap, that’s a disaster waiting to happen. If that happened in my house, it’d qualify Tenae (who looks suspiciously like Cat, now that I think about it) and myself for the Olympic Cat Tossing Team (now taking applications!)
I agree with CAVE! :)
Like most of your other traitorous readers, I’m going to say ‘cave’.
I can see it as a hive kinda- after typing ‘hive’ into google images; however, given that there is a cat in there- if cave is not an option- I would say it is a ‘trap’.
Between shed fur, claws, teeth, and exposed cat anus, it is a terrifying trap.
I would also like an application for the Olympic Cat Tossing Team. Do we get matching track suits?!
I say it was built to be a hive, and the absence of malicious intent on JB’s part means I vote HIVE.
(That is not to say that Cat isn’t using it for evil trap purposes)
It’s a hive, and vaguely creepily, my mom was telling me on the phone last night how she’d built one for their cat and that the cat was making little chirping noises inside of it. Though, she called it a “tent.”
Oh, I saw these and thought of you: http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2295
I like lair too, but of the to I have to say hive… sorry. : )
oh my god, I mean of the two. Look what I get for being distracted by semantics.
It is inconceivable that someone would call that a hive when it is CLEARLY a Sicilian cat cave. Which is CLEARLY a TRAP.
I think the “knowing look” is probably worth more than twenty bucks.
Well knowing what I know about your cat being pure evil, I’d have to say TRAP. A Sundry TRAP.
(But our heroine Sundry was much to clever to become victim of such a sneaky TRAP.)
Clearly some voters are confused, and assuming that by “trap,” you mean that Cat is trapped. And these voters probably also fucked up the hanging chads back in 2000.
If JB had meant to biuld the cat some sort of lair or hive, he would have made it more of a teepee shape, and it would have been more obvious to you that it was a cat fort. Instead, he lay the pillows as horizontally as possible so that you would assume there was nothing lurking beneath them (like, oh, I dunno, a swipey sneaky Cat).
I’m on the Lair bandwagon, also. But, in having to chose between Trap and Hive, I’m going with Trap. Hive implies a swarm. And you certainly don’t have a swarm of cats.
It is totally a trap–see exhibit A (picture #1) where we barely see one paw stealthily poking out, ready to claw and attack at the first sign of prey, I mean people on the couch.
I think hive, just because if it were a trap technically that would mean that Cat would have difficulty getting out. Whereas ‘hive’ kinda gives the impression that Cat is kinda comfy in there….like a little cuddly nook place.
Trap also means that Cat would have had to been tricked to go in there….which maybe JB did (?)
I have the evil black cat and I know a trap when I see one. I’m going to set one for my husband tonight.
I am DYING over heah.
For those who might need clarification (SHEESH YOU GUYS), “trap” = “trap for the unsuspecting victim who sits next to Cat”. Not a trap *for* the cat. A trap for the cat would be, say, a nice cardboard box with flaps you could close over her. Not that we’ve ever done such a thing.
For it to be a trap he would have needed intent…the intent to trap you. If it was purposed for the cat’s benefit, then it would be a hive. So without any evidence of malintent, I’m going with hive.
Plus, everyone needs some nooky in November!
Hive may not be the correct term, cave – fort – lair. But there is to much cat showing for it to have been a trap.
Lair, I’m for lair. That means get a babysitter and go out together. But if you want one of you to win, I’m sorry, I’m on JB’s side here.
that’s totally a trap.
TRAAAP!
Hive/lair/fort/cave… but something beneficial to the cat, not intended to snag humans. I think it’s nice that JB made that for Cat. Awww… JB loves Cat!
I have to say hive, just to throw JB a bone…er help his cause.
neither hive nor trap. fort is closest ;-)
i think jb should give you $20 for a lil *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* ;-)
It’s a lair!
trap
For the sake of you winning my “official” answer is Trap, but otherwise i would refer to that as a kitty fort or cave. But never hive, where would he get hive?
hive – sorry for that, it’s just that ‘cat hive’ sounds hilarious.
Oh please. That is a classic cat trap. I have me one of them evil black cats and I fall for that kind of thing all the time.
Oh, a hive…..look at the cute baby peeking out……..he’d never claw ANYONE.
As I am a man, I feel it’s my duty to show solidarity with JB.
CLEARLY A TRAP!
I asked my husband, and his first answer was “lair.” I explained that Trap and Hive were the only two choices. Given the parameters, he chose Trap.
TOTALLY a trap.
definitely a hive, of evil.
Because it is DISGUISED AS A CAT HIVE, it is all the more wily a trap. I vote trap.
It’s totally a trap!
That is one fresh cat – I think it just winked at me.
Definitely a trap – especially since it’s volcano shaped. Hives are typically round or cylindrical, structurally speaking. ;)
Its a hive, for sure.
Oh so definitely a trap!
Trap! Run for your life!!
My husband says hive, but since he doesn’t know the pure evil that lives in the heart of cat as we readers (and I assume JB) do, I say trap.
It’s two cushions on a cat
Fort. It’s a cat fort. A fort built for the cat to enjoy and do whatever cats do in forts.
However, it does serve double duty as a cat trap for you. I agree with you on that point as well.
I would have said cat cave as a first choice…but of the options, trap is it.
TRAP! can you share the 20$?
[Admiral Ackbar] IT’S A TRAP!!! [/Admiral Ackbar]
I’m surprised at the diversity of opinion. I didn’t take count as I scrolled through but it looks pretty evenly split.
Come on! Anyone can see that’s a hive. It’s right there crystal clear before your eyes. I build hives for a living, and also run a side business trapping such wildlife as coons, pumas, foxes, giant wolf bears, ninjas, and leprechauns. So trust me when I say that I know the difference between a hive and a trap, ok? That is a textbook cat hive if ever I’ve seen one. In fact, I’m going to use that photo in my class where I teach people all about hives and hive related topics. And it just so happens that I have five hundred of my totally real and trustworthy friends here in my home, and I just asked them what they thought that looked like, and every single one of them said it looked like a hive and scoffed me for even suggesting that that could be confused for a trap of some sort. So this comment is really the equivalent of five hundred and one votes for hive.
If you had walked into your room, and the cat was in a bucket balanced on top of the door, now that would be a trap. If the cat had been sitting at the far end of a tunnel with pressure sensitive floors and walls that shot poison arrows, that would be a trap. If your cat was melwling for help in a pitiful manner because it was hungry and stuck in a cage in the middle of an open field riddled with craters, and that cage was sitting in the middle of a freshly painted target on the ground, now that would definitely be a trap. But the photo you just shared with us is in no way even similar to the farthestly fetched trap scenarios. (yes, farthestly is a real word, go look it up) I think you owe JB one long … knowing leer session.
Totally a hive. (Well, at least I can kind of see where he was going with the whole ‘hive/nest thing’.) Defintiely not intended to to ‘trap’ the human, which would likely result in a scratched bottom and JB sleeping on the couch.
Hive it is.
Wait, is JB nesting with the cat? I thought only pregnant WOMEN nested??
We generally call those kinds of setups “hidey-holes”. (we’re country that way). It looks kind of like a cat bunker for attacking the unsuspecting.
It looks like a cave to me…
I know I’m a total traitor, but I think it’s a hive.
If it was built as a trap it seems that one might as likely sit on the cat and do it harm. So if he wants to get rid of the cat, I would say trap, if not, hive.
I’d say it a cat trap. Bees live in hives, not cats!
I have to go with hive because I much prefer the idea that JB was thoughtfully creating a little safe place for Cat to the idea that JB was secretly plotting to have your ass get clawed.
It’s either a trap or the Cat Cave. Either way JB totally owes you.
It’s a trap!
I vote for trap. I know how husbands think (being as I’ve had one for a little over 20 years). JB was totally waiting to see you sit on those pillows so that he could see your expression when you sprang up after gettin’ your hiney clawed.
Janet (from Northern California)
Trap! Hidden cat + convenient opening for claw access to your butt on the couch = TRAP. No getting around it. Sorry, JB!
I’m gonna have to go with cave. but clever none the least.
That? That is clearly a TRAP.
Hive!!
trap, Trap, TRap, TRAp, TRAP!!!
I too, think Cat Cave would describe it best. However, given the choices, I go with hive. After all, you noticed Cat there… JB would certainly set a better trap than that!
TRAP!
Like you need more vote, but I gotta go with hive/lair/fort/whatever. This whole thing is cracking me up. Good luck JB! Something tells me no matter what the outcome, he’ll probably get some anyway. :)
I think JB originally wanted to build a cat hive with good intentions, but it became a trap without his planning, and even though he knows it really is a deadly trap now, his fragile male ego won’t let him admit that you’re right. So he’ll defend that cat hive trap unto the bitter scratched heinie end.
TRAP!
it’s a hive!! (only i’d probably call it a kitty cave, but it’s not a trap–sorry man!)
I feel like I’m cheating on you by saying it’s a hive.
A trap for the unsuspecting behind! For shame!
(is that cat … winking?)
It’s a hive, albeit a collapsed one. We build these all the time for our black cat.
Although “lair” is also highly appropriate.
It’s a trap! “Hives” don’t come with extended claws.
I gotta say my husband will do this too, that is, find ways to bury/hide the cat – but he seems to do entirely for his own amusement (and arguably the cat’s, but I have trouble believing the cat enjoys it so much as simply puts up with it). Therefore I must vote hive – i.e. no malicious intent.
A hive? What in the hell is a cat hive? Clearly a trap.
a cat hive? are you SERIOUS? hello its a trap.
and i hope to god you get the $20 bucks because the other alternative…well…you know. ;)
Oh, man, that is totally a hive. Look at how yellowish and pointy it is. It is clearly bee related. I feel bad for betraying you as well, but it is, in fact, a hive.
Also, JB is awesome for a) making a cat hive and b) calling it a cat hive.
A cat is not a bumblebee; therefore it is a trap. If JB had said “cave” I’d support his knowing leer…
people people people…consider the NOUN
hive
–noun
1.a shelter constructed for housing a colony of honeybees; beehive.
2.the colony of bees inhabiting a hive.
3.something resembling a beehive in structure or use.
4.a place swarming with busy occupants: a hive of industry.
5. a swarming or teeming multitude.
[I ask you, is cat a busy occupant or teeming swarming multitude except in her own mind? ever?]
Hive as a verb – as in “to hive” doesn’t count.
Hive!
Linda, give JB a little more credit. That would be a shoddy trap at best. You’ve seen him build stuff. He’s wicked capable. And if that were intended as a trap, then you are inferring that JB was incapable of hiding a cat under pillows in such a way that it would not be visible, and it would appear to only be pillows. You know he’s better than that. If you have faith in, nay, if you really love your husband, you will show him you believe in him. Don’t let your pride over shadow your love. This is how marriages end. Over half of all married couples get divorced in hive related arguments.
Plus I’m with one of the previous commenters who stated that in her experience, men just like messing with defenseless animals. It’s totally true, we do. Cat’s, dogs, babies, they’re all fair game for our sadistic games. It’s part of our basic mental make up. We can’t help it. I know I bury my cat in pillows all the time. Also fun, putting the freak under the very center of a heavy blanket. Awesome!
It’s a hive. JB gets his name backwards.
It’s a trap! Go collect your cash.
TRAP!
Cats don’t live in hives, dude.
Either a hive or a target for a cat who is really wants to be sat on and smooshed.
Either a hive or a target for a cat who is really wants to be sat on and smooshed.
Okay, it was a little hivey in the first photo….but the second? CLEARLY a trap. Cat’s pupils are HUGE which suggests one thing, and one thing only. Someone is about to get rabbit punched and gnawed on, after a fierce piercing of the skin on their arms with her needle like claws.
Also, I just went back and read all of the comments and LAWD they are funny! Josh makes me snort with laughter here and on The Back Nine.
I am totally going with TRAP here. Mostly because I HAAAAAAAATE “the look”. But you have an evil cat just like mine so I know that cat thought it was a nice trap also.
It’s a lolcat. It’s just missing the text.
However, I think ‘hive’ is a hilarious term for two pillows stacked on a cat, so my vote goes to JB.
Totally a TRAP!
It’s a hive….and with hives come “buzz buzz” which sounds a lot like a hummmer……Sorry:)
It’s obviously a trap. A very evil looking one, at that.
Hive hive hive…
Sorry, JB, but I have to vote trap.
These comments are cracking my shit up!
that is totally a trap….like oh here Sundry…come sit on the couch..don’t mind those pillows…or the evil cat claw that will dart out from underneath..causing you to possibly injure yourself while trying to move your preggo body out of the way….
Can I be difficult and say LAIR?
answers.com said:
The den or dwelling of a wild animal. A den or hideaway. Obsolete. A resting place; a couch.
I rest my case.
Trap. TRAP TRAP TRAP TRAP.
Also: Trap.
Sorry, JB.
It’s an ass trap, as in, the cat is trapped, and if you sit your ass down, you are going to get zapped. A trap, definitely.
hive…
Oh, too bad you didn’t make this a poll (pollcode.com). This would have been awesome.
Anyway I, too, would like you to win. But the photo of the cat’s head popping up looks too cozy and comfy. I have to go with Hive.
So sorry.
Hive. Trap implies some kind of reliable mechanical operation; no device involving a cat could ever be described as ‘reliable’. Hive, on the other hand, seems to imply the dwelling some kind of pseudo-malevolent group consciousness. Sounds like a cat house to me.
I’d go with trap, knowing that things can happen when accidentally sitting near cats you didn’t realize were there. However, my hubby is siding with your hubby saying “hive” because when you have cats, you as human need to keep a better eye out for them and then they have no traps ever.
The way Cat looks there? Definitely a trap!
Wow, it’s looking pretty 50-50 to me, so I’d better weigh in. I wouldn’t call it a ‘hive’. Cats don’t have hives, like everyone else said, they have LAIRS. But although he may have worded it incorrectly, cat does seem to enjoy it. So…I’ll just shut up now.
Eee! I just read the clarification. TRAP! It’s definitely a TRAP!
Dude. That is so a trap. JB could have built a “hive” for Cat anywhere, but to put it on the couch where you are used to flopping down… TRAP.
It may be a hive for the cat (if cats even cared for hives), but it’s DEFINITELY a trap for you. So I go with trap.
If Cat were a sweet, innocent feline, then I’d totally say HIVE, but we all know that Cat is “the embodiment of evil” (as Susie said), so TRAP it is! Sorry, Linda.
By the way, as a black cat owner myself, I totally love how adorable Cat looks in those pictures.
Ah, I meant to put “Sorry, JB.”
Oh well.
Trap. Cats don’t have hives.
TALLYING THE VOTES NOW! Comments are now closed so as to preserve the authenticity of the DATA. Ahem.
[...] Anyhow, I managed to unearth my one pair of fancy pants from a bag of dry cleaning that one of the cats had been using as a lair. The pants in question appeared to be made entirely of cat hair when I found them, but I recognized the label and knew that there was perfectly good black material underneath. After I had removed the worst of the furriness with duct tape, I hung the pants in the bathroom with the shower running in an attempt to steam out the 6-month-old creases. We do own an iron, by the way, but I am ashamed to say that it wasn’t until later in the afternoon that I even remembered the existence of such a fantastical, fabric-smoothing appliance. Luckily, the never worn button-down shirt I paired with the pants still had creases running down the arms, so I figured “creases” could be the unifying theme tying my outfit together. Missing from my ensemble was underwear, because I couldn’t find any. [...]