I’ve had my Touareg for almost exactly a year now, and for the most part I am in deep, hot, inappropriate automotive love with it. It handles like a dream, has tons of storage, and has some BEEF behind the accelerator (I like to drive it kind of macho-style when I’m by myself: motor growling, music blaring, my eyes narrowed in badass concentration . . . until that deflating moment when I take a tight turn and my groceries fall over in the back with a depressingly suburban-sounding thunk, and I’m like, oh yeah, I’ve got on MOM JEANS).

The only bummer is that the car’s had an extensive, creative variety of electrical problems, all of which have thankfully been covered by the warranty but still, in twelve months I’ve taken this rig into the dealership more than I ever did with my Corolla in the ten years I owned it. Apparently the Touareg is powered by a number of tiny robots, all of which are prone to failing, or thinking they are failing and thus triggering an internal alarm on my dash. I had a TYRE FAULT a while back, where my car worriedly informed me that I should CHECK TYRE PRESSURE and finally shouted that I had a FLAT TYRE! FLAT TYRE! (I was driving on the freeway at the time and about had a damn heart attack, luckily there wasn’t actually anything wrong with the tire tyre itself). There was a wonky headlight connection, something with the brakes, and now my car is intermittently telling me I have an AIRBAG FAULT, meaning there’s something problematic with the passenger seat sensor that comes and goes. When the car decides that yup, something’s definitely wrong with that there sensor, it sounds a brief alarm before flashing the FAULT message on the dash, which causes Riley to chirp, “Beeeep! Be quiet, car!”.

It’s kind of like driving KITT, except if KITT were maybe suffering from Alzheimer’s, or Tourette’s, or something.

Electronic hijinks aside, I do love that car. It is by far the nicest vehicle I’ve ever owned, and I feel guilty that I’m not better about shoveling out the kid-related detritus on a more frequent basis. I mean, a family of sparrows could probably live for months on the leftover cracker crumbs strewn next to Riley’s carseat. And just think, soon enough there will be TWO carseats back there, one with a halo of toys and crumbs, one with a radial spray of milk-barf.

Two carseats. Two. Oh my god I just totally freaked myself out. Hoo, boy.

In other driving-related news, we are motoring to Bend tomorrow to meet up with JB’s family for Thanksgiving. We’re going to stay in the same spot we did last time, and hopefully the neutral location will alleviate any holiday-host-related-pressure so we can all just chill out and eat massive amounts of stuffing and gaze at the mountains. JB’s parents are in charge of the tricky meal items like the turkey and gravy, while I got the relatively no-brainer cranberries and potatoes. It should be fairly low key but nice, I hope.

If you’re doing the Thanksgiving thing this week, what are your holiday plans? Where are you going to be, who are you going to be with, what are you going to eat?


98 Responses to “Finding faults, giving thanks”

  1. Sonia on November 20th, 2007 4:02 pm

    You know, you’re about the 20th person to tell me they’ve had trouble with the electrical system in their Volkswagen. I hope they get that ironed out SOON!

    Thanksgiving this year, will be spent in my Grandmother’s tiny little senior community apartment. It’s very nice, but short on space. We will be stuffing my mom,stepdad,husband,son and me, all into that place! We’re having standard Thanksgiving food, for our family anyway. Turkey, gravy, stuffing, smashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie.

    I usually host Thanksgiving here at my house, but this year, I have no kitchen! destruction, er, construction began 3 weeks ago. I didn’t want to try to cook OR entertain with the kitchen in it’s present naked state. Actually, I’m really looking forward to not having to worry about any of it this year. I get to show up, pig out, clean up and go home. The downside is that we won’t have turkey leftovers to live on for a month.

    Have a great trip!!

  2. Josh on November 20th, 2007 4:04 pm

    Hoo boy. Well my parents decided that since they are preachers and all they should invite every damn person in the church who doesn’t have lots of family around here to come over for thanksgiving. Which is a lot of people, because nobody in Wake county grew up here, we’re all transplants. So I have to deal with not only a family get together, but also, thanks to the love of Christ, lots of religious strangers as well. The upside, we aren’t having Thanksgiving dinner at my nutso conspiracy theorist red neck uncles house with his eight poorly trained children screaming and running about like some commercial for birth control.

    At least there should be plenty of good food. Probably the traditional spread: turkey, gravy, mashed taters, sweet corn casserole, sweet potato pie, cranberry sauce, etc. The only real weird thing my mom makes every year is cherry cream salad. It rocks your taste buds so hard you can feel it in your panties, I kid you not. I don’t remember what all’s in it, but I know there’s cherries, pineapple, marshmallows, sour cream, several kinds of sweetner, and shredded coconut. Mmmmm, tasty.

    And besides that I’m helping my old room mates renovate their new apartment. And then we’re all heading down to the beach to visit their family. Which just so happens to be my girl friends family as well, so I get some holiday romance! I plan on stuffing my face with fresh seafood whenever I’m not making out like a porn star. I might even get to go fishin out on the ocean. That would be sweet. But if I don’t I can at least hang out in the marina and pretend like I know about fishin and/or boats.

  3. Sonia on November 20th, 2007 4:09 pm

    Also, GoingLoopy!! I’m cracking up that you’ll be in Mount Vernon, Wa. It’s not big, yo, and that’s where I’ll be too! :-)

  4. sundry on November 20th, 2007 4:16 pm

    I am curious about this cherry cream salad you speak of, Josh. Please ask your mom for the recipe. Tell her some nice lady from the Internet wants to know, heh.

  5. Amy on November 20th, 2007 4:35 pm

    Making Thanksgiving dinner for boyfriend and friends from grad school plus someone’s brother. Not quite sure how that happened, but this is the first turkey I’ve had to make so send good turkey vibes this way. But at least I don’t have to get on a plane until Sunday evening?

  6. Keaton on November 20th, 2007 4:55 pm

    My fellow exchange students and I will be gathering in my friend’s “minimalist” Tokyo apartment, sitting around the one electric stove eye, and praying we can make something more than hot sweet potatoes. That, or we’ll splurge for a “Thanksgiving Set,” sold at various stores around the city that provide a complete Thanksgiving dinner to the lucky consumer. First store we’ve found that offers this: Popeye’s Chicken.

  7. Brooke on November 20th, 2007 5:08 pm

    We are driving to Nor Cal on Thursday, just the two of us. My Mom is making all the dishes and it will be just the three of us.

    Friday we will go cut down Mom’s Christmas tree, and in the evening we will attend my friend’s annual Leftovers Party. Saturday we have no plans, Sunday we are having dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant and Monday we are driving home. I think I am coming down with a cold, so I will probably lay about quite a bit. We will probably go shopping on Friday, even though I always say we won’t, we get bored easily.

  8. Janet on November 20th, 2007 5:32 pm

    There will be 30 of us at my mother in laws house on Thursday (one of my husbands brothers is nuts and has 6 children). Thank god we’re only expected to bring the
    stuffing and cranberry sauce. I think we’re gonna have to make (at least) 10lbs of stuffing.

    I make this great sourdough bread, parmasean cheese stuffing that also calls for marinated atichoke hearts, marinated mushrooms, and sausage. Ummm! Everyone loves it so I always get stuck having to make it.

    Side note: Linda, I just love reading about your young family. It takes me back to (fond memories of) when my girls where little. My eldest was almost 5 when my second daughter was born. My girls are now 18 and 13 years old. I can tell you that it’s much easier raising babies than it is teenagers so enjoy them now before they turn rotten. HAHA!!

    Janet from Northern California

  9. kalisah on November 20th, 2007 5:53 pm

    that is an awesome fucking spot. I hope you feel plenty damn thankful to live somewhere so beautiful. Cause damn.

  10. Kelley O on November 20th, 2007 6:10 pm

    Staying home with the nuclear family for 4 days. Boston Market for dinner. That Chocolate Crusted Pumpkin Cheesecake that someone posted a recipe for that sounds DELISH. Much reading. Much napping (both pre- and post-turkey). More reading and/or napping.

  11. Tessa on November 20th, 2007 6:11 pm

    I love these kinds of entries. So much fun to hear everybody’s plans – and to confirm that my family is not the only crazy one.

    Our plans:
    Thursday am: Turkey Bowl, where my husband and his similarly aged friends pretend they’re still in high school, and play football for several hours. I’m in charge of dispensing the advil.
    Thursday pm: Thanksgiving Dinner at Crazy Aunt Charlie’s house. Everyone from my husband’s family will be there, including cousin Tara, who last year squirted breast milk directly from her boob across the room at her brother, and, according to Aunt Charlie, her own dead mother. (See where the crazy comes in?)

    Friday: Drive to California to spend Thanksgiving in my sister’s tiny two bedroom with my parents (who have been visiting & sleeping in her living room for the past ten days), my sister and her husband, my hilarious three-year-old niece, and my two week old niece.

    Sunday: Check out of hotel (I need my own space, sorry, sister) and drive to Disneyland for my first vacation with my husband. Two days of repeatedly riding the Pirates of the Carribean ride, and then return home.

    I am already exhausted from the thoughts of all this travel…maybe I should go lie down…

    Safe travels to everyone’s family!

  12. Alyson on November 20th, 2007 6:43 pm

    I looked at the Toureg when I bought my last car……until a friend of mine told me several of their neighbors had them and they ALL had issues with the electrical system. Since I was dumping my old GMC Envoy because it was an electrical nightmare, I wanted to avoid another one all together.

    I suggest visiting the Infinity dealer. The FX35 is a bouncin’ little whip!

  13. MotherGooseAmy on November 20th, 2007 6:52 pm

    I was thinking that when you talk/write about your Touareg, you should do so in a German accent. Your car most definately was made by a man that sounds like Mike Myers when he was on SNL and played Dieter.

    We’re going to the inlaws. I’m sad because I won’t get to see my parents and siblings. When my folks host holidays they INVITE my inlaws. How rude of the not to do the same. My poor Dad has to go to his step-daughter’s fiancee’s mothers house for Thanksgiving. How sad.

  14. lisa on November 20th, 2007 7:46 pm

    Every second car I’ve owned has been a VW (Rabbit, Jetta, Jetta). I’ve loved them all more than should be legal, and they’ve all broken my heart. They each had horrendously annoying electrical (usually stereo-related) and leakage (as in rain, into “living space” of the car) quirks, but I just could not stop loving them.

    I always go the reliable Japanese route after each VW heartbreak. I am 18 month into a rebound relationship with a very reliable, sporty, fun Toyota Matrix, but there is no spark.

    I stare longingly at every VW that passes me by. Three weeks ago I came recklessly close to laying down cash for a ’71 Beetle with non-working brakes that I found while helping my MIL car-shop. In my dreams my next car will be a Toureg, and I will lavish all of my dysfunctional love upon its sexy FLAT TYRE! alarms. Sigh.

  15. Kate on November 20th, 2007 8:14 pm

    We are having a very cozy, low-key holiday, just the three of us at home with only the food we like best. Our shopping list was nice and simple, since we are only worrying about 2.5 appetites, as opposed to 10 or 12.

    We’re planning on sleeping late, fixing tons of food, and cozying up on the couch with a couple of movies and a big blanket. The temperature is supposed to drop, so it’ll be cold and windy outside: perfect cozy weather.

    I’m really looking forward to it. I hope you enjoy your day too.

  16. sooboo on November 20th, 2007 8:48 pm

    I was planning on cooking until my brother said he was to busy to come, he broke up with the girlfriend he was going to bring, my mom is too sick to come over, and my mother-in-law didn’t want to come because she thought it was rude that we went to a movie after dinner last year (it’s my family’s tradition). So, my husband and I rented a cabin in the mountains and are going to have turkey in a nice restaurant in the nearby town all by ourselves. Why didn’t I ever think to do this before? I’m finally looking forward to Thanksgiving!

  17. Josh on November 20th, 2007 9:11 pm

    Sure thing Sundry. I’ll get it from her tomorrow. And I’m sure she knows who you are by now. I never shut up about all my dorky internet goings on. I’ve told them a million funny anecdotes I brazenly stole directly from your blog. I’ll come back and post it here whenever I get a hold of her. Actually, now that I think of it, she can be a difficult lady to locate. But I’ll get it eventually. I see her on Thursday for sure, you know, what with our-settlers-didn’t-starve-to-death day.

  18. velocibadgergirl on November 20th, 2007 9:12 pm

    We’re having dinner with my family on Thursday evening and early dinner with the in-laws on Saturday afternoon (which is fine, since my in-laws are freakishly cool). I’m bringing sweet potato casserole to both, and I’m VERY much looking forward to eating my body weight in stuffing and pumpkin pie, and also this weird cherry / cranberry salad thing that one of my uncles makes every year.

  19. jen on November 20th, 2007 9:18 pm

    97 jetta owner here. electric problems are insanely common on vws. for the past year or so when it rains, and sometimes when it doesnt my airbag light comes on, which results in my burrowing as far as possible into the seat so it doesnt pop out in my face. i know its the silly sensor but its completely not worth replacing. HA>

    to answer your question. my mom, sister and brother came to nyc to visit me while the bf is in london. we are going to do the parade thing but it starts super early and im not seeing it happen. hah. we are eating chicken and the fixings. next week my mom is doing thanksgiving in boston and we will be there for that. yay! especially after i just read that the average american gains 7 pounds from thanksgiving to christmas. lovely!

  20. Kim on November 20th, 2007 10:35 pm

    Spending the day in Laurelhurst with friends eating way too much food. Luckily we get off easy – we’re bringing wine. Though I’ll probably bring rich creamy peanut butter cup bars to offset some of the pumpkin.

    And I heart the Toureg and Jetta Wagon…love our current CRV, but I so want a VW as a second car.

  21. thejunebug on November 21st, 2007 12:20 am

    I’m cooking the whole deal for the family… Jay & I, his parents & sister, etc. I’ve been the Turkeyday cook since I was 23, so this is a no-brainer. I love every minute of it.

    Breakfast: Homemade cranberry-Orange muffins & fresh apple butter.

    Lunch: Crackers, cheese, sliced fruit, and cut veggies w/dip.

    Dinner: Whole roasted turkey w/ cranberry dipping sauce, acorn squash with brown sugar & butter, candied yams, sage and onion stuffing w/ gravy, rosemary wheat rolls, cranberry jelly, greenbean casserole (of course!), sweet peas & baby onions, pumpkin pie & cranberry pie (both from scratch).

  22. Jem on November 21st, 2007 1:15 am

    We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but I wanted to comment anyway :) I just finished my final violin recital for my Honours degree two days ago, and I’m planning a dinner party next week which is a murder mystery one…hopefully it will be fun.

  23. Ter on November 21st, 2007 5:42 am

    This is going to be my first Thanksgiving when I’m not with any of my family (MB aside). A friend of ours is hosting dinner and invited me, MB, and his mom over, along with another employee and her family, making it a veritable costume shop employee outreach program. Not sure what’s on the menu but I hear there’s usually marshmallows in the squash. Happy T-day to you and your family!

  24. Jeanette on November 21st, 2007 6:36 am

    Gathering at my dads for the first time since my mom died 5 years ago. Then the traditional decorating for Christmas on Friday, avoiding the shopping like the plague. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

  25. Fredrik on November 21st, 2007 7:10 am

    In Norway that car is worth the same new as a 4 bedroom house.

  26. Christine on November 21st, 2007 7:39 am

    Electrical demons or no, I am jealous of your car. Take into consideration my 1992 Infiniti (G20?), and say a little prayer for it, my little hoopty that could. And still sort of, does.

    Thanksgiving – just me and the boyfriend, at home. Brined turkey. Stuffing (combo Pepperidge Farms in a bag jiffied up with onions, celery, herbs and broth). Homemade cranberry sauce (done!). Roasted sweet potatoes. Mashed potatoes. Alton Brown’s from scratch green bean casserole. Broccoli. And dessert…roasted pears and flan.

    We are two people.

  27. jonniker on November 21st, 2007 9:01 am

    Syracuse, NY. Whoo to the hoo. For less than 48 hours, which breaks my leftover-loving heart.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Linda! xoxo

  28. SleepyNita on November 21st, 2007 9:07 am

    The wonders of owning a VW hey? Always something electrical to sort out in the first couple years. Although on the other hand my 8 year old VW bug has NEVER costed me a penny more then actual maintnence.

  29. FashionNoob on November 21st, 2007 10:15 am

    Challenging the casual dress code at my in-laws as part of my experiment in looking good. It doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving without at least one person wearing stockings!

  30. LFM on November 21st, 2007 11:42 am

    Ugh…I would go batty if all those things went wrong with my new car!!! I’m so petrified when the slightest thing goes wrong or a light goes on in the car. must. get. to. the. mechanic. now. is my mantra

    as for Thanksgiving? we’ll be hosting it at our house. we’ll have 7 people not including us in our teeny tiny place…so 7 plus me and hubbie and the baby and the dog who will be occupied with a rawhide and cat who will be bunkered up in her kitty condo in the corner…we’ll have a full house.

    Happy Thanksgiving! hope you have a wonderful day!!!

  31. wealhtheow on November 21st, 2007 1:25 pm

    I’m going over to a friend’s house–she’s taking care of everything, and all I’m bringing is salad and some bread. That and my two-week old son. Having a newborn is the best excuse to get out of preparing anything fancy. However, we did get some stuffing-in-a-box so I can have my day-after-Thanksgiving stuffing pigout.

  32. Tracy on November 21st, 2007 1:36 pm

    my 97 jetta (which we had to finally sell in 2005) had a TON of electrical problems – including stalling whenever it rained.

    headed to duck, nc for the holiday. probably crazy to drive tonight.

  33. Alley on November 21st, 2007 3:28 pm

    My husband’s working tomorrow night (oh boy!) so I’m throwing together a pseudo-Thanksgiving for just the two of us. I’m making my mom’s stuffing, sangria cranberry sauce, garlicky green beans, and spicy sweet potato balls (which I can’t stop giggling at). No bird because the stuffing contains sausage and I don’t like turkey anyway! I know, I’m a freak. Oh, and I made a pumpkin pie yesterday, so we’ll have that, too.

  34. Penny on November 21st, 2007 4:52 pm

    I am hosting a HUGE dinner at my brothers house because the guest list outgrew my home.. There is about 35 people invited. We are trying our hand at deep frying the turkeys this year, we had some a couple years back that a neighbor did and it was to die for. So hopefully, we figure it out and all goes well. There is backup ham just in case. Lots of yummy things, some crazy yam thing that my brother makes that you need insulin afterwards. I am making dressing that has sage sausage in it and is soo flavorful. No pumpkin pies allowed though, only sweet potato pies, and the rest of the usual pies. After dinner, a nice bon fire with hot apple cider and/or hot chocolate. Then off to put up and decorate the dreaded Christmas tree. I hope you enjoy your holidays!

  35. Sparkle Pants on November 22nd, 2007 9:36 am

    Hi! I found your blog on accident, while I was searching for a remedy to a pop-less can of pop-cinnamon rolls that wouldn’t even pop after a good thwack against the counter. Apparently, Target brand pop-things only pop after a certain amount of stabs from a kitchen knife. Anyway, I promised myself that if I had all my fingers intact that I would come back over here and have a read while the cinnamon rolls baked. Also, I noticed that you had So the Fish Said linked, so you couldn’t be that bad, right? ;)

    I’m spending the day with my very best friend in the entire world. We’re going to have turkey and mashed potatoes and green beans and pumpkin pie. We will watch too much television and it will be awesome.

  36. Jen on November 22nd, 2007 1:49 pm

    My parents went to spend the holidays in LA with my dad’s side of the family (my aunt is sick and my cousin just had a baby so there’s lots of togetherness planned.) I have to work & study tomorrow (joy oh joy!) so I’m headed to spend Thanksgiving with my old roommate, her husband, in-laws, and I’m bringing Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls. If they turn out. If not, then I’ll make back-up cookies.

    I believe there will be a lot of pie. =D

  37. Josh on November 22nd, 2007 4:03 pm

    Ok Sundry, here’s my moms recipe for cherry cream salad. You will need:
    2 – 1lb cans of dark packed cherries
    1 – 13oz. can of pineapple tidbits
    3 1/2oz. flaked coconut
    1 cup mini marshmallows
    3/4 cup of confectioners sugar (powdered sugar)
    1/4 tsp salt
    2 cups of sour cream
    the recipe actually calls for “dairy” sour cream, but I wasn’t aware there was any other kind. I suppose maybe up there in Seattle all the hippies have cooked up some sort of soy sour cream, or tofu sour cream, but if you choose to ever use any kind of sour cream that isn’t dairy, I suppose you know what you are getting into, and good luck with that.

    Drain the fruit. She made a big ass deal about this. Apparently if you don’t drain it really well, and you just half ass slop the fruit water down the drain, you will end up with cherry cream soup and horrible things will befall you. I don’t really know. But drain the fruit. Then combine the fruit, coconut, marshmallows, sugar and salt. “Fold” (aka stir) sour cream into the mixture. Cover it and refrigerate over night.

    She also added that you don’t have to have the coconut if you don’t want, because some people really hate coconut. I say it is crazy to serve it without coconut, and anyone who doesn’t like coconut can go hungry for being such a weirdo. Also, you don’t have to let it sit overnight, but the flavors really come out if you do. And I want to thank you for asking for this recipe. My mom had completely forgotten it until i called to ask her, and so I got to eat my beloved cherry cream salad like I do every year thanks to your request.

  38. Mico on November 22nd, 2007 4:54 pm

    I haven’t commented in many months — been sailing through Indonesia, where if you say the word “Internet” they just cock their heads and look at you funny.

    We are now in Singapore, where Thanksgiving was yesterday. We got together with another American couple and went out for pizza. It’s 95 degrees here with about 100% humidity, so the thought of standing over a stove all day was so not appealing. We let someone else reach into the roaring wood fire oven, and gave thanks.

  39. Kaite on November 22nd, 2007 8:36 pm

    Try putting Dog in the car to lick up those random crumbs and spills.

  40. Josh on November 22nd, 2007 9:16 pm

    I learned this today, er whenever I did my Thanksgiving post, but apparently our friendly neighbors to the north celebrate Thanksgiving in October. The reason for this: their harvest is sooner due to their arctic climate. I thought it was a cool bit of info.

  41. Anonymous on November 26th, 2007 9:29 am

    Okay, y’know how some people type in all caps and other smiky bastards are all like “dude, you don’t have to shout“?


    If I was anymore fantical about being anti-VW I would quit my job stand on a street corner with a goddamn sign.

    (Okay, I’m a SAHM, but still…)

    Seriously, VWs are like the bad guy from Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho: Very hot, debonaire, suave, and can talk a mean chapter about Phil Collins… but he’ll still kill you and chop you up into little bits in the end.

    I drive a break-up Acura, and I’ve had it four FOUR YEARS (70K miles) and have NEVER had to take it to the service center for anything but the oil change. It’s almost like the car is too good for me and I’m going to end up cheating on it or something.

    Please… sell your Volkswagen before the warranty runs out.

  42. Amanda on November 26th, 2007 9:30 am

    Oops… too busy ranting to leave my name!

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