Man, I’m kind of glad that the holidays are over and done with and my house is fir-needle-free and there are no more seasonal celebrations to be had for a while. Down with festivity! Thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot poles for all!

Now I just need to make it through my work-related Macworld preparations then it’s sweet, sweet sailing . . . for about two weeks, then apparently there’s going to be this newborn in the house? Like, a tiny little baby? I know, it sounds crazy to me TOO.

I was lying in bed last night taking a breather from my vigorous wee-hour routine of repeatedly getting up to pee, eat Tums, and walk off the Jimmy Leg, when it occurred to me that Smalltopus could actually make his big appearance any day now. I mean, there’s no RULE that says he’s going to obediently hang out where he is until his scheduled arrival. And here I am, woefully unprepared—I’ve managed to unearth Riley’s old baby clothes, but they’re just lying on the floor in a big heap. We have no newborn-sized diapers! No bottles! No attempt has been made to get the carseat out of the garage and the sawdust blown from its crevices!

Plus, my fingernails are too long. They were all pregnancy-dragon-lady-length when I unexpectedly had Riley three weeks early, and I had to cut them right away with clippers because OMG WHAT IF I SCRATCH THE BABY and there’s this photo of me holding his little feet and it would be such a cool picture except everyone always thinks it shows JB’s hands, because of my short-ass, MAN HAND fingernails. This time I should try and stay manicured at all times from here on out to a baby-appropriate length, maybe a nice squoval.

Clearly I’ve got a lot to do, what with the baby gear procurement and the nail filing and all.

Truthfully, I would really like to take a break between going on maternity leave and Smalltopus’s birth date, just a few days when I don’t do anything at all, because all the preparations have been done and I can just sit around and breathe and read a book or two and maybe see a movie, get a haircut. Here’s hoping.

In other news, I managed to stay awake until midnight on New Year’s Eve, with the help of a (forbidden, surely) mid-evening Red Bull. We watched Seattle’s fireworks show on TV, which was sort of hilariously awesome since the software that manages the fireworks’ coordination apparently went tits up and at some point you can tell someone in a full-body panic just hit the RELEASE ALL button and explosions started going off willy-nilly, completely non-synchronized with the music, spraying from the Space Needle in a giant spoogy premature ejaculation of gunpowder and lights. Go, 2008!

Tell me, what did you do on New Year’s Eve? Was it marginally less lame than sitting on a couch watching bad fireworks before immediately staggering off to bed at 12:05?


78 Responses to “Idle hands, devil’s workshop”

  1. Alex on January 2nd, 2008 11:28 pm

    I actually had the best NYE I have ever had in all my 33 years. Traditionally, I’m not much of a NYE girl–I usually think it an overrated holiday, and go the ~stay in solo and do my own thing~ route. But this year the fates had something different in mind, and I was Party Girl in the Silver Dress and the Sparkly Heels.

    My new, hot man and I drove from Santa Barbara to San Diego to attend a huge, catered, open bar party at Jeff and Jake’s house; Jeff and Jake being old friends of mine from my living-in-Boulder days. It was a “dress to impress” affair, and that combined with the visit from the baby hawk on our 17th floor balcony…it was perfection in the form of 24 hours.

    This is going to be a good year.

  2. Angela on January 2nd, 2008 11:31 pm

    Well, my New Year’s consisted of sitting at home, alone, packing and preparing to move on the 1st. Then, I proceeded to have insommnia til 6am. It was awesome. lol.

  3. jonniker on January 3rd, 2008 6:21 am

    Yeah, ah … no. Lame-O over here. Watched New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, had heart broken over Dick Clark’s declining state and fell asleep by 12:15 a.m.

    We did have a lovely dinner of take-out from a local fancypants restaurant.

  4. Kim on January 3rd, 2008 6:40 am

    I’m really happy to see that a lot of people choose to stay home on this holiday and actually enjoy it. I thought we were just getting old and/or lazy (which still may be true), but we also stayed home by choice, watched Superbad (laugh-til-you-pee funny) and went to bed soon after the ball dropped. Oh, and Brian won $124 in online poker, so that was really cool too.

  5. mandy on January 3rd, 2008 6:51 am

    We celebrated my baby’s 2nd birthday that day and then were dead tired when the new year rang. Our close friends who attended Madison’s party stayed with us to celebrate with a chilled bottle.

  6. Eric's Mommy on January 3rd, 2008 6:53 am

    I love your description of the Seattle fireworks!
    We had a lame ass New Years eve our friend came over with his girlfriend who is all of 19, she drank two wine coolers and fell asleep on the couch!
    We also went to bed at 12:05.

  7. Christina on January 3rd, 2008 7:13 am

    Festivus for the rest of us! Love it :)

    Ah, we did basically the same thing. Though we did play some card/board games and watched the lame TV while sipping the last of the nog and eating copious amounts of junk food. We were in bed BEFORE midnight but we continued to watch TV until AFTER midnight so we did make it. Sadly we were asleep by 12:15a… Oy.

    Ugh. I ended up taking a two week break before Matthew was born. My sister came to “help with the baby” that never came the entire time she was there – I was 2.5 weeks late and ended up being induced. I wished I would have just worked until closer to the end because sitting home waiting for your purported baby to arrives sucks in no uncertain terms. HOWEVER, it did give me time to relax and finish up last minute stuff so I guess there is some good in a break. I am still on the fence about taking some extra time early because it meant I had to come back to work when Matthew was 10 weeks old and not 12 – big diff, I know but still… it would have been nice to take more time after than before… I think I might do some vacation days here and there toward the end to get some time to myself, etc.

  8. Amblus on January 3rd, 2008 7:14 am

    We are old people, so I invited my best friend over and she and I made a very nice meal (pork tenderloin with cider plum sauce), which we ate with my husband while watching TV. Classy! Then we managed to shoe-horn ourselves off the couch to play some Wii sports. Around 11:45 we switched over to Dick Clark, drank some cheap champagne and welcomed in the new year. (We also found out how many of our neighbors own semi-automatic weapons.) Best friend left at 12:05am and we were in bed ten minutes later. The end.

  9. birdgal on January 3rd, 2008 7:19 am

    I was a LAME-o on NYE and I’m not even pregnant (but I do have a two year old who doesn’t care what time mommy goes to bed). The husband and I ate some leftovers and watched ‘Superbad’ (it was only ‘eh’ for me) and then I beat a hasty retreat to bed at about 10:30 while hubby stayed up to watch Dick Clark. I was awoken by my neighbors screaming and setting off fireworks at midnight (there seem to be alot of illegal neighbor firework shows based on these comments) and I got a groggy midnight kiss. I’ve always hated the forced festivity that surrounds NYE (you must go out and have fun or your new year will be ruined!), so I mostly just treat it like any other night. But, god, does it make me feel lame! :)

  10. ollka on January 3rd, 2008 7:40 am

    We went to visit some friends – got there at 11.20, were immediately horrified by their guests, stayed to watch the fireworks – they have an impressive view of most of the city, and the show was great – had some champagne. Then the host put on some YouTube clips of, uh, bad drivers? Howls of laughter ensued, while we exchanged uncomfortable half-smiles with the hostess. Then we went home and had some traditional salads (NYE is not NYE in this part of the world without salads). Then we went to bed at about 3.30.

    Here’s hoping you get your pre-Smalltopus free days!

  11. victoria on January 3rd, 2008 7:43 am

    “This time I should try and stay manicured at all times from here on out to a baby-appropriate length, maybe a nice squoval.” You slay me.

  12. Squeeky on January 3rd, 2008 9:12 am

    For the first time in a long time, I actually went out on NYE this year. We happen to live in OKC (hometown to the Flaming Lips) and they decided to play during our downtown NYE celebration this year, so hubby & I procured tickets and proceeded to ring in the new year with Wayne and Co. It was an amazing show and I think it was my favorite new year celebration so far!

  13. Sabine on January 3rd, 2008 9:37 am

    Worry not, mine was FAR lamer than yours. As in, laying in bed watching Lord of the Rings on my laptop until falling asleep (during the movie) at about 12:05am. I am single, with no children, and look how pathetic I have become. :)Do you feel better? If so, it was worth embarassing myself over.

  14. Sabine on January 3rd, 2008 9:37 am

    Woory not, mine was FAR lamer than yours. As in, laying in bed watching Lord of the Rings on my laptop until falling asleep (during the movie) at about 12:05am. I am single, with no children, and look how pathetic I have become. :)Do you feel better? If so, it was worth embarassing myself over.

  15. Audrey on January 3rd, 2008 10:06 am

    Lame New Year’s Eve: waiting for our luggage in baggage claim at SeaTac. Woohoo.

  16. Brooke on January 3rd, 2008 10:28 am

    It was MORE lame. We watched the ball drop (well, kind of. We missed the actual drop and saw the aftermath) at 9:00 here on the West Coast, and then we went to bed. Sad? Yes. We’re too old for that midnight crap.

  17. Julie on January 3rd, 2008 10:36 am

    Tubing at Seymour Mountain – spectacular and worth the subsequent sore butt. After that, we hosted dinner for 16, followed by a rousing game of family pictionary. Lots of laughs and a fun for both the kids and the adults! Everyone left right after midnight and I stayed up to tidy. NY’s Day we spent walking along the Burrard Inlet, marvelling at those who braved the cool temps for a dip into glacier waters! We followed that up with an indulgent late lunch at a new fancypants eatery on the water. Somewhat decadent, but what the heck!

    Thanks for a great 2007 – we look forward to hearing all about your 2008!

  18. Taryn on January 3rd, 2008 10:49 am

    went to a friends house with about 6 other people, ate gnocchi, drank a little wine, played Rock Bank (mostly watched other people play it–I suck at it) and went home around 1. i didn’t kiss anyone at midnight.

  19. Anais on January 3rd, 2008 10:55 am

    I had planned to stay at home with the hubby and my cat, and we invited friends over. Turns out, my friend was allergic to my cat and had to leave, so we followed them to their house and hung out there. We played Guesstures and Cranium. Good times. Then we watched the ball drop at Times Square on television, drove home at 12:20 and knocked out for the night. Nothing special there.

  20. Becky on January 3rd, 2008 11:19 am

    I was in bed by 10pm…praying that my red-neck neighbors would not wake my finally sleeping 5 week old baby!

  21. jen on January 3rd, 2008 11:35 am

    I watched the festivities in bed, so at 12:00:45 I could let my eyes finally close in sweet sweet slumber…

  22. Heather B. on January 3rd, 2008 11:58 am

    I went to a party and was back home and doing laundry by 12:25. I am the lamest 24 year old ever.

  23. kalisah on January 3rd, 2008 12:41 pm

    lame? that “in other news…” paragraph may be the best thing I read all year!

  24. Operation Pink Herring on January 3rd, 2008 12:50 pm

    I hid out at home, fell asleep on the couch after two glasses of wine with dinner, and allowed myself to be dragged outside to the rooftop deck for fireworks at midnight. That’s almost worse than watching the fireworks on TV, because I was COLD.

    Oh, and a day late and a dollar short: I did finally did your survey thingy:

    Luckily I didn’t resolve to be punctual in 2008.

  25. Samantha on January 3rd, 2008 9:36 pm

    I know I am a little late on this one, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    We spent New Year’s Eve at Disneyland with twenty-fivehundred-bazillion other people. We made it to midnight. On the way home, we were *this close* to being hit by someone who was obviously drunk.

    Next year, we are staying HOME.

  26. Josh on January 4th, 2008 7:59 pm

    Oh fuck yeah, my new years was bad ass. I passed the five year anniversary of the first time I got thrown in jail, and managed to do so without getting in any more trouble with the law, which is actually harder than it sounds when you party like it’s 1999+9. We got nine people together so we could carpool and found this pot head who doesn’t drink to drive us around. We actually packed all nine folks into one minivan. I sat bitch, which with nine passengers means behind the back seat, next to the beer, on top of the tire iron and the pointy ass battery charger. But it was all good.

    So we went to a party and I hit on some lesbians for a while. I like messing around with fat lesbians, but I was nice, because the chick hosting the party is the big sister of one, my friend, and also happens to be a native american standing around 6’6″ and weighing in the neighborhood of three hundred pounds. I kind of try and avoid getting my ass kicked by women, mostly.

    But that party got lame, so we all piled back in the van and went to our bar. But there was some douche bag DJ playing a bunch of pop and disco and shit, so we left there after a few beers. We juggled around between a few final destinations before we eventually ended up at the house we started at. Then like thirty more people randomly showed up. I stayed conscious past midnight, and didn’t piss off anyone that I know of. I also managed to not sleep with anyone I shouldn’t be sleeping with, which means I’m disease free and safe from boyfriend vendettas. And I even got up early New Years day and got twisted again whilst smoking a big ass ham, which was delicious btw. We smoked it with wood chips from the barrels they age Jack Daniels in. God may not hate me after all. Happy 2008 internet denizens, and good luck with popping out the new spawn Sundry.

  27. Meg on January 5th, 2008 10:11 pm

    I think mine was marginally more lame, because I watched the lame Pontiac logo’d New Year’s hooplah in Time Square at 9pm (I live in CA), watched 2 Tivo’d episodes of ER and fell asleep at 11:30 on the couch. My husband woke me up at midnight and kissed me and I got up for a few minutes before heading off to bed for a full night’s sleep.

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