My mother-in-law sent me an email asking if I thought I was going to “make it” until Smalltopus’s birth date. “I’m having this feeling we should have our bags packed and be ready to go sooner than that,” she wrote.

Not sure why she’s having a feeling on this, but she’s not the only one. JB is convinced the baby is about to drop out of me at any moment, and when I mentioned the other evening that I wished it were summer so I could go for a walk, he practically crapped his pants right there and then. “You are TOTALLY about to give birth,” he moaned. “I mean, you want to go for a walk?”

I guess the fact that it was such an anomaly for me to be craving exercise is a sad testament to just how much slothing around I’ve been doing over the last few months, but at this point being upright is vastly preferable to sitting. Once I sit down, the baby smashes up half my body and I start getting the Heartburn From Hell along with the Jimmy Leg; at least if I’m upwardly mobile the boy has some room to stretch out in. I spent almost every evening of my last days of pregnancy with Riley waddling around the neighborhood with JB, but that’s not much of a viable option this time around: it’s dark out at 4 PM, the rain is endless and cold, I’d have to go by myself because the video monitor only transmits so far, etc.

I don’t personally have any early-birth feelings, other than the increasing disbelief that I can go on like this without erupting like a Gallagher watermelon. My actual due date isn’t until February 14, and the C-section is scheduled for February 4. At 35 weeks I am large, uncomfortable, and ungainly, but all systems are reading normal—no blood pressure problems, no signs of early labor.

What do you think? Will I make it until Feb. 4? Do you have a feeling one way or the other?

In other news, JB returned from CES with two adorable Las Vegas-themed toddler shirts for Riley. “I couldn’t find any onesies for Smalltopus,” he explained. Then, carefully glancing at me, “Or, um, anything in . . . your size.”

Yeah, I guess shirt sizes probably do stop short of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL. No problem, I didn’t want anything anyway, just the scintillating stories of gambling into the wee hours and eating Kobe beef appetizers cooked on hot rocks at the awesome Japanese restaurant and enjoying the bright Vegas sunshine while I stayed back here in Rainville eating Riley’s leftover chicken nuggets for dinner, hey you know what comes in all kinds of sizes? DIAMONDS.

Comments

61 Responses to “Feelings, whoah whoah whoah”

  1. Valria on January 10th, 2008 1:53 pm

    Well I will stand out here and say I too had a “feeling” you were having that baby. I even went to Parent Dish yesterday to see if you had blogged there. Yup, you had so nope you must not have.

    Now that I think about it, this must be more about me missing your blog as I am addicted. I will have withdrawls when you are gone for awhile. As will the increasing number of people clicking through to your blog from mine. In fact I think its just a gate way to your wit at this point.

    Take it easy!!

  2. Sunshyn on January 10th, 2008 2:00 pm

    My second baby was due on January 30. We were all sure it (she, I’d hoped; none of that fancy sex-ID technology in 1979) would be early. Nope. My best friend, due in March, went into labor on MY due date. My kid showed up on Valentine’s Day. And he wasn’t a girl, either. Damn him.

  3. Becky on January 10th, 2008 3:46 pm

    I say Jan 22nd..because of the full moon and all….and yes DIAMONDS do come in all sizes…I say JB gets you some big honkin’ Diamonds!!!!

  4. kaitlyn on January 10th, 2008 4:26 pm

    I think you’ll probably make it. Being so tantalizing close to full term and the possibility of going into labour ANY MOMENT!! Is such a tease. It will be a long three weeks, but I think you’ll make it to Feb 4. And then, just think, you never have to buy another Valentine’s Day gift for JB because, seriously, what trumps a baby??

  5. Amy on January 10th, 2008 4:44 pm

    Mmm, diamonds.

    Here’s hoping everything goes smoothly and on-schedule for you!

    (Seriously. What could be a better present for carrying and delivering another kid than diamonds? *Always* appropriate.)

  6. Lesley on January 10th, 2008 6:21 pm

    February 4th is a whole damn month away!…almost…nearly. I keep thinking “next week” – but then what do I know?

    JB should have bought you a t-shirt in size 6 (or whatever your pre-pregnancy weight was…cuz you’ll be that weight again soon).

    Icing would be a size 6 T with diamonds hand-stitched in.

  7. jonniker on January 10th, 2008 7:49 pm

    HAHAHAHA, a Gallagher watermelon.

    Also, personally, I’m pushing for earlier — it’s not a feeling, but a hope, because I’m excited to meet him and find out what his name is!

    So if a “feeling” will move things along a bit more quickly, if only for my own selfish gratification, than by all means, I have a feeling.

  8. clarabella on January 10th, 2008 8:22 pm

    I think you’ll make it. Sorry. The one thing I learned when I was pregnant was that when I had “feelings,” they were usually gas. Just kidding. Every time I had a “feeling” about going into labor, I was dead wrong. He was 10 days late. But then again, the second time around is supposed to be completely different, so who knows?
    I want to second Ericsmommy about position. At the end of my pregnancy, I watched TV kneeling on the floor, leaning onto my ottoman. It was the most comfortable I’d been since my first trimester. If you have an ottoman and have someone to help you off the floor, try it. It might help alleviate some of that pressure. I too had hella’ heartburn and twitchy legs. I also took like 3 baths a day for the last month, but I guess that’s hard with a toddler.
    Good luck in the next 3 weeks!

  9. Anonymous on January 10th, 2008 8:23 pm

    I’ve been reading you for years, but have never left a message. Just wanted you to know that I wish you the best and that I think you are looking lovely! I’ve got a 14 month old now and am hoping for a *someday* second, and can only hope I can pull it all off in such a fashion. You are my online, secret hero.

  10. Josh on January 10th, 2008 9:01 pm

    No. I do not think you will make it. I saw one of those pictures on the left and holy shit. I’m so fucking glad I never accidentally knocked anyone up. Child birth is not beautiful, it is scary and gross, much like babies in general.

    In JB’s defense he could have got you a crappier gift. Like VD. So forget the T-shirt and the diamonds, which they don’t even sell in Vegas btw, and just be glad he got you his love, and his seed.

    And JB, next time she asks what you got, tell her you got Muhdik, but you left it in the bedroom. Trust me, chicks love that sort of thing, especially prego hormonal ones on the verge of exploding, who were just told they didn’t actually get any gift at all, but instead sat at home cooking up offspring to carry on your name while you danced around Vegas in showers of money while snorting blow with hookers and celebrities.

  11. Sunny on January 11th, 2008 3:13 pm

    So, from what I can gather, it IS asking a bit too much to request you cross your legs tightly and have Smalltopus on Feb 14th? That’s my birthday and I’d love to share it with the little lad… Just asking.

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