I gingerly stepped on the scale the other morning and learned that I’m down about twenty pounds since Dylan’s birth. I think I gained about 40 overall during this pregnancy — although it’s hard to be completely sure, every time I was weighed at my doctor’s office they recorded my weight in kilograms which allowed me to pretend I was dangerously underweight and therefore required a nightly infusion of Tillamook Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream for the baby’s sake — so according to my mouthbreathing math skills, that leaves, uh, carry the 5 . . . divide the integrators by the number-eighters . . . twenty more pounds to go. In order to be at my pre-Dylan-pregnancy weight, that is — I take some vague solace in the fact that I am actually already at my pre-Riley-pregnancy weight and therefore it’s like I hardly gained anything at all! Or something.

I don’t feel overly obsessed with the number I see on the scale but I am definitely not feeling the love for my current body shape, particularly the way my clothes fit over it. I would say my pants are currently leaving me looking, well, muffin-toppy, except that would really be doing a grave disservice to delicious muffins everywhere, who never asked to be compared to the partially-deflated dirigible that is clinging to my waistline. My post-op midsection has Dunlop Disease, which as you know is where your belly dun lop over your C-section scar, and if that didn’t just make you hot and bothered I don’t know WHAT WILL.

Judging by oh-so-pleasant night sweating that’s still going on (seriously, is there anything about the postpartum period that ISN’T disgusting?) I’m probably continuing to slowly shed water weight, but I know from experience there’s only one way to regain the ability to pull on a pair of non-elastic pants without lying on the floor and crying afterwards, and sadly it’s not through sitting on my couch hooked to a tiramisu IV drip.

Thanks to my devil-food-may-care attitude during pregnancy (which I don’t regret one bit, by the way, as far as I’m concerned the only excuse that’s better than pregnancy for eating whatever the hell you want at all hours of the day is learning of your imminent death) I have a lot of bad eating habits to kick, which I’m trying to address with baby steps. I mean, you don’t just stop eating ice cream overnight, a person could suffer serious medical consequences trying to do such a thing. You have to step down in stages: first, you move to ice cream featuring one flavor, then the low fat variety, and finally, fat-free frozen yogurt with Splenda, until it all tastes so disappointing you may as well just sadly gnaw a carrot during American Idol.

I’m learning that there is a vast difference between dieting without a newborn and dieting with a newborn, and while neither are a festive nontop party in your mouth, the latter sucks out loud. When a person finally manages to get their fussy baby to take a nap, they should be allowed unrestricted access to a feedbag full of Thin Mints, you know? Not some damn salad. Plus, there’s the logistics factor — the truth is, it takes more work to prepare a healthy meal than a crappy one, and if you’re trying to eat with one hand while the other continually crams a binky back in someone’s whine-hole, well, am I going to make myself a nice turkey sandwich with a side salad, or rabidly devour 485721 Saltines dipped in peanut butter? GUESS WHICH.

Also, don’t even get me started on the near-impossibility of finding time to exercise with two children under three feet tall. Jesus. I did about 20 minutes of Turbo Jam last night at 8:30 PM while Riley was in bed and Dylan whizzed back and forth in his swingamajig, and all I could think was, what would I rather be doing at 8:30 PM? OH, I don’t know, ANYTHING AT ALL.

It’s going to be a bitch to get back in shape this time, is what I’m saying. But I’m making the commitment to do so, because I want to feel as good as I did here, and I don’t want to wait as long this time to make those changes.

Today: 153 pounds. Clothing size: a bursting-at-the-seams 10. Tomorrow: ?

Comments

92 Responses to “Committed”

  1. Eric's Mommy on February 28th, 2008 7:26 am

    Well, I’m now committed too. I just ordered the Turbo Jam DVD.

  2. Andrea on February 28th, 2008 8:43 am

    I don’t think I’ve weighed 153 pounds since I was in high school or very early college. But basically I’m in the same boat as you. Before I found out I was pregnant last May, I had lost about 15 pounds (though I still had about 70 more to go before I would’ve looked as awesome as you did in that entry from last summer) and was on my way to getting healthier. The pregnancy somewhat railroaded that, though I managed to keep my weight gain to 17 pounds. When you’re “puffy” to begin with, it’s frowned upon by the medical establishment to gain anything beyond around 25 pounds.

    Anyway, I had my daughter January 3rd and I find not only is it so much harder to find the time to make healthier food and get the exercise, it’s hard just to find the brain capacity to think about it as much as it takes to change bad habits. I’m thinking I’m going to try to get my 4 year old to jump around with me. It may be the only way I’m ever going to get any sort of workout in. Here’s to hoping.

    Also, I bought World War Z after going through some of your archives (which have me snorting with laughter on a regular basis) and I’m reading it on my lunch breaks and during middle of the night feedings, and I have to say I’m freaked right the fuck out. And I’ve only gotten through the second chapter. It’s as disturbing as I Am Legend, and I think maybe my next home improvement project will be to put my house on stilts.

  3. dorrie on February 28th, 2008 9:12 am

    L-

    As usual, you inspire. I don’t think you have any idea how many people you touch daily…the “three months” post has staying power. I think of that one line often: “three months to change my life” and “I don’t hate my stomach anymore”…thank you for keeping it so real, always.

  4. ML on February 28th, 2008 9:18 am

    You are just the internet’s inspiration!… and I, too, think Turbo Jam owes you money. I tried it/bought it b/c of you and the furthest I got was watching it with my kids and us dancing to the music and being thoroughly frustrated that we couldn’t do anything she said. It was funny as heck, though.

    That said, I have lost 49 lbs since last March and am well on my way to the last 30 (the irony being that you are currently my future goal weight.)

    All that to say I borrow inspiration and laughs and tips from you regularly. Please keep us updated on this! You are cheaper than so many inspirations and I mean that in all the good ways. :)

  5. Tara on February 28th, 2008 9:27 am

    I think you are totally within your rights to cut yourself some slack for now–you’ve got a LOT on your plate (pun not intended), and exercise is hard to justify when you don’t get much “me-time” to spread around!

    But, if it helps, your “Three Months” post got ME exercising and eating right, and it’s been great. I bought TurboJam on your recommendation, LOVED it, and am now doing Power 90 and Hip Hob Abs as well. I was 159 when I started working out, am now 145 and still losing–and still liking it! It’s taken me longer than 3 months to get where I am now, mainly due to a 5-month hiatus dealing with back problems, but I’ve been consistent in my diet & exercise since January and am looking forward to my 60-day pictures next week. So thank you for inspiring me to do this!

  6. wordygirl on February 28th, 2008 9:39 am

    I’m experiencing awe, amazement, and yes, a little envy that you are not only able to find time to update every day, but also are back in size 10 clothes already. I still have 9 weeks of pregnancy left (pass the feedbag) and I’m pretty sure I’ve gained between 40 and 50 pounds. Losing 20 pounds in a couple of weeks would suit me just fine, but I’m trying not to set my hopes on it.

    Also, SERIOUSLY, where are you finding time to update?

  7. breckgirl on February 28th, 2008 9:45 am

    I think it’s totally up to you to do whatever the hell you want. If you’re ready now, do it now. I, too, have referred back to your “Three Months” post several times – it was good writing and good inspiration for the idea that you just have to DECIDE and DO. I recently joined WW and am officially within my last 10 pounds. I’m close to the goal – yay! But then, like you, I plan to start trying to get pregnant again right away. BUT, I hope to be just like you in that I will be facing losing 20 pounds after the next baby, as opposed to the 65 that I’ve had to lose this time. Well, 55 I’ve lost and the 10 I’ve got to go!

    So go for it – 20 pounds is nuthin’ – you already know that. And hey, if you need something new (tired of Chalene and TJ) you should order Hip Hop Abs from Beachbody – it rocks. You’ll love it. I’ve lost 20 since I got it, but interestingly, I just ordered Turbo Jam to motivate me through the last 10! Switch it up if you get bored – it helps. Best of luck to you, Linda. You’re doing great. p.s. and I am so with you on that night sweat thing – it’s gross.

  8. SemiDesperate Housewife on February 28th, 2008 9:49 am

    Dang it woman, you’re already at my flippin’ GOAL WEIGHT. I mean, I don’t know how tall you are or your bone structure or whatever BUT STILL. Go you.
    Also: Am starting with a PERSONAL TRAINER tonight. Well, sharing him with three other people b/c we’re cheap and he’s a friend and willing to let us be cheap. But I am shaking in my boots. I think I need to eat the rest of the ice cream for fortitude…

  9. Colleen on February 28th, 2008 10:15 am

    No babies, but definitely suffering from a metabolism change. Weight loss is the most frustrating endeavor of all. I’ve been gymming it like crazy for the past month and am EXHAUSTED. Makes you want to dive head first to the fuck it bucket. (I love that!!) Good luck!

  10. Frema on February 29th, 2008 12:23 am

    My daughter, Kara, will be 11 weeks old on Monday, and I still have about eight pounds to go to my pre-pregnancy weight, which, hooray, except my pre-pregnancy weight includes another ten pounds I should never have had in the first place. Your “Three Months” post is inspiring to me; thanks for that.

  11. ben on February 29th, 2008 2:22 pm

    My youngest turns five in June, and I still haven’t lost any of my pre-baby-weight.

    Also, I’m a male, and all of my kids were adopted, so that severely limits any of my excuses.

    Best of luck to ya…

  12. launchingsloth on March 1st, 2008 8:17 pm

    turbo jam is great.

    have you tried the Crunch DVDs with Ellen Barrett? she’s not bad. i mean, all workout DVDs are a little corny but she seems somewhat self-aware about it. i like the Super Slimdown yoga/pilates blend and the Fat Burning Pilates one. it’s not sweat-through-your-t-shirt like turbo jam, but it does nice toning things.

  13. Kari on March 3rd, 2008 6:14 pm

    Gah – I hear you on the weight loss thing. My 9 month old is sick again and while she slept for a pitiful 1/2 hour, I inhaled saltines with peanut butter AND jelly on them instead of my nice healthy salad.

    But you know, when you have to fit doing laundry, lunch and picking up/sweeping the living room in 1/2 hour nap time, saltines for lunch wins out every time.

  14. Josh on March 3rd, 2008 8:18 pm

    I feel you on the weight loss. I am planning on starting up the tried and true inmate diet where you eat three to four ounces of half assed government provided food a day while working out no stop to pass the boredom. And yet I still wouldn’t take the two babies. (toddlers still count as babies right?)

  15. https://Www.Rebelmouse.com/cellulitefactorprogram/ on April 26th, 2014 10:04 am

    Definitely imagine thgat that yoou said. Your favourite reason appeare to
    be on the web the easiest thing to bear in mind of.
    I say to you, I certainly get irked at thhe same time as
    folks consider issues that they plainly don’t realize about.
    You controlled to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing with no need
    side-effects , other folks could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more.
    Thank you

    Feel free to visit my web blog :: cellulite factor system reviews (https://Www.Rebelmouse.com/cellulitefactorprogram/)

  16. hacker un compte facebook on June 24th, 2014 5:24 pm

    Yo, does anyone know about that new electrician on Chambers Street by the name of New York Electrician, 94 Chambers St, New York, NY 10007 (646) 415-6723

  17. dogecoin shop on June 24th, 2014 5:50 pm

    Hi, has anyone heard about that new electrician on Chambers Street by the name of New York Electrician, 94 Chambers St, New York, NY 10007 (646) 415-6723

  18. Cheap Snapback Hats on October 28th, 2014 6:19 pm

    Hi, I just wanted to say, you’re wrong. Your blog doesn’t make any sense.
    Cheap Snapback Hats http://www.alteollc.com/requirements.html

  19. polo ralph lauren oxford on October 28th, 2014 6:51 pm

    This will be a fantastic web page, will you be interested in doing an interview regarding just how you created it? If so e-mail me!

  20. ambien on October 28th, 2014 9:24 pm

    How do I add my blog to yahoo search engine?

  21. cialis without prescription on October 28th, 2014 10:48 pm

    Rory Aurges…

    fantastic post, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists of this sector don’t notice this. You must continue your writing. I’m confident, you’ve a great readers’ base already!…

  22. new york jets tickets on October 30th, 2014 7:08 am

    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Bless you!|

  23. ambien online on October 30th, 2014 7:22 am

    cialis? D:

  24. electronic cigarettes reviews on November 20th, 2014 1:43 pm

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one today.|

  25. christian louboutin for cheap black friday deals on November 20th, 2014 2:32 pm

    Beatles, who began their journey as modest club entertainers ended up as the cultural icons of an entire age. They represented the very ethos of the newly evolved cultural and social mores of their times, a product of counterculture era; the very success Beatles made them the spokesman of angst ridden age, thereby catapulting them into demi god status. History has it that the working class Liverpuldlan roots of the Beatles, their take on ordinary, day to day human experiences and progressive ideas interspersed with rock n roll, their vociferous views on contemporary issues of their times, and their experience with psychedelic drugs (all thanks to Bob Dylan, who introduced them to marijuana) propelled them into instant stardom.

  26. std testing on February 22nd, 2015 7:33 pm

    Excellent article. I certainly love this website. Stick with it!

  27. wireless home security on February 23rd, 2015 1:43 am

    Very energetic blog, I liked that bit. Will there be a part 2?|

  28. alcoholism treatment centers on February 23rd, 2015 9:09 am

    Do you have any video of that? I’d love to find out more details.|

  29. vacuum reviews on February 23rd, 2015 10:15 pm

    It’s amazing to go to see this site and reading the views of all friends about this post, while I am also eager of getting familiarity.|

  30. online home insurance quote on February 23rd, 2015 10:54 pm

    I think what you published was very reasonable. However, consider this, what if you were to write a killer post title? I am not saying your content is not good., but suppose you added something to maybe get a person’s attention? I mean %BLOG_TITLE% is kinda boring. You could peek at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they write article titles to get viewers to open the links. You might try adding a video or a pic or two to grab people excited about what you’ve written. In my opinion, it could make your posts a little bit more interesting.|

  31. ssi lawyer on February 24th, 2015 2:55 am

    That is a good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Short but very accurate info… Thanks for sharing this one. A must read post!

  32. vaginal mesh attorneys on February 24th, 2015 3:21 am

    An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who was conducting a little research on this. And he actually ordered me dinner because I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending some time to talk about this topic here on your web page.

  33. vacation homes for sale on February 24th, 2015 3:23 am

    Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people think about worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks|

  34. how to donate a car on February 24th, 2015 6:24 am

    Excellent article. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog. Im really impressed by it.

  35. Dishnet internet on March 26th, 2015 8:58 pm

    Thanks for your marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back sometime soon. I want to encourage continue your great writing, have a nice evening!|

  36. free adult dating sites on March 28th, 2015 1:34 am

    Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog? My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours and my visitors would genuinely benefit from a lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you. Cheers!|

  37. Hughes net on March 28th, 2015 1:36 am

    Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage? My website is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would definitely benefit from some of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you. Many thanks!|

  38. electrical outlet wiring on October 10th, 2015 4:32 am

    I enjoy what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve added you guys to our blogroll.|

  39. bungalows on November 5th, 2015 11:36 pm

    certainly like your website but you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to inform the truth on the other hand I will definitely come again again.|

  40. Marie on January 15th, 2016 9:59 pm

    If your site is relatively sound, the most important results for you to consider are the keyword hits.
    When Page – Rank was patented the patent was assigned to Stanford University.

    Your baseline will tell you where your company began so you can measure
    positive or negative ROI (return on your investment). This mode of advertisement was faster than the earlier ones and reached Acquire More Information About Rug Cleaning With These Simple Tips!
    air conditioning problems (Marie) people but it had
    its own limitations.

  41. Lorri on January 19th, 2016 5:04 am

    Nowadays, the conditions for your website to be ranked high in the search engine
    results are based on the search engine optimization techniques that you decide to use.
    The usual SEO methods include keyword research, link building and such.
    Unlike TV, radio and other traditional marketing channels that Need Your Carpet Cleaned?
    So What Can A Carpet Cleaners Company Do For Yourself? melbourne
    fl air conditioning repair – Lorri
    – big budgets to be effective, SEO can be cost effective.
    In this way, it is informed about the kind of information that a
    surfer is looking for.

  42. Alica on January 19th, 2016 10:02 am

    Each of them has a different function according to the
    intensity of the misspelled keywords. So what are you going to
    put in their search box is “website optimization tips”.
    But in general here are the services that an online business
    owner should expect from SEO experts and other agencies and consultants:.
    Overcome Any Employing A Carpet Cleaner Obstacle Using These Tricks system
    getting power (Alica) guy named Alan Emtage, a student at the
    University of Mc – Gill, developed the first search engine for the Internet in 1990.

Leave a Reply