I was thinking about posting this photo with the caption “Toddler’s First Goatse” but then I thought to myself, self, just how fast do you want to go to hell anyway?


Hey, how about we have us a photo namin’ contest? I mean, I’ve got this assembly-line brain drain going on from being stuck at home doing the same tasks over and over and over: feed baby, change baby, pry embedded LEGO from the arch of my foot, feed baby, change baby, run a load of 4828951 burp rags through the laundry, feed baby, change baby, fantasize about driving to the hospital in order to locate the nurse who scoldingly informed JB and I that bottle-fed babies should be able to go 4 hours between feedings and punching her in the face, etc, and really, I could use some fun distractions.

The rules are thusly: you post your best title idea in the comments section, and I’ll pick my favorite based on a complicated set of criteria involving a decision grid and Excel pivot table (what? Just because I don’t actually know what a pivot table is doesn’t mean I won’t use one). The winner receives a $50 Amazon gift certificate.

It’s just like Ree’s photo contests, except the prize is way less awesome! And the photo isn’t exactly frameworthy, either!

One entry per person, leave your email address so I know how to get in touch with you, contest ends sometime between tonight and tomorrow. Remember, crude porn references only send the parent to hell, not the impartial, innocent internet reader.


UPDATE: contest now closed!


134 Responses to “Photo caption contest, ENTR 2 W1N CA$H PR1ZE!”

  1. Lisa on February 28th, 2008 3:45 pm

    “This Mac is effing awesome.”

  2. Jilly on February 28th, 2008 3:46 pm

    “You said THAT about Steve Irwin?!!


  3. Ash on February 28th, 2008 3:52 pm

    WOW MUMMY! did you fart?

    (i thought i would post something that has nothing to do with the computer, as he is looking at you… not it. i also get the same reaction from my god sister when her brother farts in front of her)

    Loving the pic BTW

  4. pippa on February 28th, 2008 3:56 pm

    You and Daddy have done WHAT on my slide????

  5. pippa on February 28th, 2008 3:57 pm

    Dang. Posted BEFORE I read that everyone else already referenced the slide. Got nuthin’. Returns to cave.

  6. Kristen on February 28th, 2008 3:58 pm

    It’s between a minority & a woman?!

    (That’s excitement, not disgust!!!)

  7. Audrey on February 28th, 2008 4:01 pm

    Mooooommm! Why did you tell the internets all that stuff about me?!

  8. Sunshyn on February 28th, 2008 4:04 pm

    Help! My mommy is really a ZOMBIE!

    sunshynsdaydreams at yahoo

  9. Emma on February 28th, 2008 4:09 pm

    Even if she doesn’t get the voucher, Michelle totally wins the internet for that caption.

    Well it made me laugh… :)

  10. Jen on February 28th, 2008 4:17 pm

    “Mommy! Did you see Daddy just jump that fence??”

    [from the infamous fence-jumping photo, of course]

  11. Dynamita on February 28th, 2008 4:20 pm

    “Ok, bitch, one more joke about me and your blog is gone”

    My husband’s:
    “HornyStallion05 looks for busty chick under 4”

    (that bitch thing is for comedic effect obviously, bitch)

  12. Louise on February 28th, 2008 4:21 pm

    “I can’t believe that Mom just wrote that about me…and I’m supposed to be the favorite son!!!”


  13. Chloe on February 28th, 2008 4:25 pm

    Heh! I’m glad you checked out that link to Pioneer Woman. It seemed like a site that you would enjoy, too. I don’t know how I didn’t know about it until a few weeks ago.

    Um… I’m having a brain fart, so I’ll go caption-free for this contest. Maybe if you have another one in the future (with less entries before mine LOL), I’ll have enough brain power to think up a decent one. All the ones I’ve read are AWESOME, though.

  14. dickbrain on February 28th, 2008 4:44 pm


  15. Sara on February 28th, 2008 4:55 pm

    “Ninja baby… feelz less stellthy.”

  16. Sara on February 28th, 2008 5:01 pm

    DAMNIT. As SOON as I posted that, I thought of something better. Please ignore my previous submission and favor this one:


    U BLEW IT.”

  17. Naomi in Oz on February 28th, 2008 6:05 pm

    “You’re buying me a MacBook Air? You are the coolest Mom EVER!!!!”

  18. Naomi in Oz on February 28th, 2008 6:10 pm

    “Hey Mommy!!!! I won I won I won I won!!!!!
    I won that really lame photo contest you’re running!!!!

  19. Mari on February 28th, 2008 6:12 pm

    Hey Mom! Killer sale at Toys-R-Us today!!

  20. Kristin on February 28th, 2008 6:13 pm

    I am way too unclever to think of a witty caption, but I just wanted to say that Riley has the best. facial. expressions. ever.

  21. Amy on February 28th, 2008 6:58 pm

    “Oh sh!t! I hit reply all!”

  22. HollowSquirrel on February 28th, 2008 7:02 pm

    dude. Now my photo contests are ranked even lower. Where do you guys GET the money for these prizes? shit.

  23. Matt on February 28th, 2008 7:07 pm

    “Mom, I told you to KNOCK FIRST!!”

  24. Kirsten on February 28th, 2008 7:12 pm

    ‘That girl on my Facebook showed her front bottom!’

  25. Christian ODell on February 28th, 2008 7:24 pm

    1. “Thank Jebus, she came in after I tossed that sock under the desk.”

    2. “Why does daddy have so many lady friends on the ‘puter?”

    3. “I can haz porn?”

    4. “Ooooh, jubblies! (Yelling) Moooom, where’s my baby lotion?”

  26. Julia on February 28th, 2008 7:25 pm


  27. Ellen on February 28th, 2008 7:38 pm

    Mai shokd face, let me show you it.

  28. Danell on February 28th, 2008 7:40 pm

    Oh, no caption here because I will be too busy SCRUBBING MY EYES WITH CLOROX after looking up “goatse”…and I don’t think I want to check any further into the “two girls” reference either…GAH.

  29. warcrygirl on February 28th, 2008 7:43 pm

    “Hey, what does this button do? UH OH!”

  30. Cali911Gal on February 28th, 2008 8:03 pm

    Caption: “Holy shit, Mom! Brittney’s wearing panties!!!!”

  31. K on February 28th, 2008 8:16 pm

    Oh, snap! Mom put parental controls on my internet!

  32. Lora on February 28th, 2008 8:28 pm

    “I’ll finish your blog so you can relax and have some ice cream.. love you mommy!”

  33. Naomi in Oz on February 28th, 2008 8:40 pm

    And based on your Love of all things Simpsons:
    “I didn’t do it, you didn’t see me do it, you can’t prove anything”

  34. Sue on February 28th, 2008 8:43 pm

    OMG! The are all so funny!

    “What is happening in my diaper?”

    P.S. I am so not going to google goatse for fear that someone will see my history… so will someone please tell me?! ;)