It was beautiful yesterday and JB mowed the grass and rid the yard of dogshit in preparation for egg-hunting today, and of course it’s been raining like the dickens since early this morning.

I managed to wrangle one child into a vaguely Easterish outfit, if “Easterish” can be loosely defined as “free of recent spitup”.

Riley’s egg hunt was relocated indoors, where we hid plastic eggs in various places around the house including the Bring Out Your Dead; I’m Not Dead, I’m Getting Better! plant.

Not pictured in this photo: the unreal moment seconds before when Riley slipped and nearly brained himself on the brick hearth, which certainly would have resulted in a different sort of holiday celebration, one including a panicked trip to the ER and a lively discussion over whose stupid fucking idea it was to put an egg above the fireplace.

His basket included a monster truck but in consideration for Cat I omitted the Easter grass in favor of a shallow bowl full of antifreeze.

JB and I were asked to pose for photos, and we practiced holding the baby in a variety of awkward positions.

I call this one “One Child Frozen By Headlights, One Husband Mostly Hidden by Frozen Child, One Wife Who Appears Disproportionately Larger Than Slumped-Over Husband, One Baby Wondering Why It Seems As Though He Has Been Dressed In Some Sort of Godawful Mommy-Son Matching Outfit, And One Is That a Duck Or a Bunny Or Something Purchased At the Very Last Moment in the Grocery Store Checkout Line?”

Hope you had a fun holiday.


40 Responses to “Easter wrapup”

  1. Naomi in Oz on March 23rd, 2008 2:50 pm

    My man got up at 6am to hide eggs outside. He went running into their room 30 minutes later and yelled “I just saw Easter Bunny”. The kids ran out of bed and and the kidlets woke the neighbours by squealing as only young children can every time they found an egg.
    They spent the rest of the day in chocolate indulged heaven.

  2. Anais on March 23rd, 2008 2:53 pm

    Your photo caption made soda come out of my nose. Happy Easter!

  3. Kathryn on March 23rd, 2008 2:56 pm

    Holy shit woman, you look amazing!

    What a lovely family you guys make.

  4. Meredith on March 23rd, 2008 2:57 pm

    LOL at the “Bring Out Your Dead” plant. I have a couple of those myself!

  5. Jennifer on March 23rd, 2008 3:06 pm

    Personally, I love to leave a vat of liquid chocolate and plastic six-pack rings out for my pets…

    Look how color-coordinated y’all are! I love Dylan’s little jumper/onesie/sweater thing! I hope Riley enjoyed his dunny/buck and you look great, by the way!

    We had breakfast with my mother-in-law who was mercifully unaccompanied by my sack of shit brother-in-law. We enjoyed our (hopefully!) last child-free Easter drinking mimosas (me) and doing yardwork (Walrus)

    Happy JCOOAHD!

  6. Lesley on March 23rd, 2008 3:09 pm

    who ever was on shift that day in the plush toy factory must have been on LSD. happy chocolating!

  7. Caitlin on March 23rd, 2008 3:18 pm

    Whatever, you still look super pretty :) Happy JCOOAHD!

  8. Pam on March 23rd, 2008 4:09 pm

    You are on the ball!! I haven’t even uploaded the 8,000 pictures I took today of the fam.
    You all look happy and of course, you are beautiful as ever. Didn’t you recently have a baby? Sure couldn’t tell by the pictures. I think at this stage with my last baby, I was lucky to have clean hair; not brushed mind you, but clean possibly. And I’m sure I was still wearing maternity clothes.
    Happy Easter!!

  9. Christina on March 23rd, 2008 4:15 pm

    You look fantastic, and your kids are killing me with cutness!
    That duck/bunny reminds me of the old cadburry egg commercials.

  10. Meagan on March 23rd, 2008 4:22 pm

    Antifreeze: tastier than easter-grass but not nearly as fun. That brown and blue… thing… onsie? whatever… is adorable. The hood makes it even better.

  11. kalisah on March 23rd, 2008 5:05 pm

    love your hair cut

  12. kalisah on March 23rd, 2008 5:06 pm

    also, all that rain certainly has made your lawn GREEN. That first picture looks like you photoshopped the colors.

  13. All Adither on March 23rd, 2008 5:48 pm

    That rain was a bummer, but at least we had yesterday.

    We had the exact same sort of egg hunt going on over here in the suburban edges of the city.

  14. Joanne on March 23rd, 2008 6:12 pm

    You look great – I mean, you all do but you look really good and are probably the envy of all of us who have just had a baby!

  15. camille on March 23rd, 2008 6:30 pm

    Hey, I just noticed your books. We have ours arranged by color too. Makes it look less like wasteful people who don’t use the library enough live there.

  16. H on March 23rd, 2008 6:32 pm

    You and your family look great. However, I have to say that I am so unbelievably jealous of your LAWN! We got 9″ of snow over the weekend but the few patches of grass that were showing through before the snow were brown and soggy. God, I covet your grass.

  17. JenniferB on March 23rd, 2008 8:11 pm

    I, I mean, the Easter Rabbit, gave my youngest girl the same Bucky the Duck Bunny (his new name, apparently, per same child) for Easter. And because he likes me, or something, I got a frog/bunny combo from same store and the older daughter got a sterling silver necklace. I think someone’s Easter started early and/or got mixed up?

  18. biscuit on March 23rd, 2008 9:07 pm

    Just want you to know I will now forever refer to Easter as JCOOAHD.

    Here is my daughter’s JCOOAHD picture. She was born a couple days before Dylan.

  19. anna on March 24th, 2008 12:31 am

    Yes, that bunny-duck is definately a supermarket-checkout jobby isn’t it…
    Oh and the laughter on the line ‘wife disproportionately larger than slumped-over husband’….that photo totally fits that discription!

    By the way, Why plastic eggs? In NZ we hide chocolate ones…is that weird?

  20. sasa on March 24th, 2008 1:06 am

    I have been reading your blog for sometime now, but recently have been struck by your constant negativity. You might want to see your dr on that one as I think you may find that some of your feelings are explained by post partum depression.

  21. Eric's Mommy on March 24th, 2008 4:22 am

    That last picture is too funny! I wouldn’t have noticed all of those things if you hadn’t pointed them out.

    We had a nice Easter. Saturday night I asked my husband if he had gotten anything for Eric (I knew he didn’t when he said he was going to), so I had to drive a half an hour to a store to get him stuff! I was so mad, that is the last time I leave anything up to him.

    When I woke up Easter morning Eric was in his room playing video games. When I went to check on him he said this, “I got up this morning to go poop, and when I went downstairs I saw that the Easter bunny hid the eggs!” Somehow EVERYTHING in our house involves poop in some way.

  22. Jill on March 24th, 2008 4:57 am

    Dear Linda,
    I have also been reading your blog for awhile now and always thought that your constant negativity was all in good fun. Today, however, I believe you have crossed the line.
    House plants are people, too, and if you can’t care for your plant because you are too busy with your ‘children’ then you should consider finding the plant a good home. Also, while you express grave concern for Cat’s well-being in this post, I think it says a lot that Dog is nowhere to be seen in the family photos. Probably you left her outside in the rain in that luscious fenced-in green yard of yours. Despicable. Also, I notice you are using plastic easter eggs. That’s fine, but you are probably exposing your children to toxins, not to mention funding a communist regime in China. At my house we use organic free range eggs. Just a thought.

  23. Shelly on March 24th, 2008 7:07 am

    Yeah, Linda, while you’re wasting all that time caring for your ‘kids’, you’re neglecting the important stuff – the plants and animals! Get your priorities in order, damnit!

  24. Shelly on March 24th, 2008 7:10 am

    Ok, I feel like a heel for being part of the ‘doomsday’ posters of Friday…..wasn’t intended to be doomsday—-

    My 14 yr old woke up squealed that the Easter Bunny had come—quickly grabbed his cash from the basket (sans easter grass) and took it to his room to hide, and proceeded to eat his candy. Toddlers….teens, some things never change. The 17 yr old was mad at me for being mad at him, and glanced at his basket, pretended not to be interested in the cash and purposefully ate no candy…….he worked and made double time, while the rest of us went to my dad’s house and gorged ourselves on ham, rice and rolls. Oh we did throw in a spinich salad with dressing made w/ BACON GREASE to offset the carbs……

  25. Jules on March 24th, 2008 7:31 am

    Silly me, always assuming that house plants were, well, plants, and not highly evolved, emotive organisms that demonstrate a 98.5% DNA match with chimpanzees. Heh. I’m pretty sure that the only biological anomaly in those pictures is the duck bunny.

    Those ‘children’ that you allegedly gestated and raised are adorable.

  26. Valeta on March 24th, 2008 8:08 am

    My baby has the same outfit as Dylan. Well except its pink instead of blue. But it is my favorite. :D

  27. Sundry on March 24th, 2008 8:38 am

    Dear sasa,

    Thanks for the tip! But I checked with my doctor this morning and she said my negativity bone has an extra sarcasm spur! Weird, huh? OMG LOL! I guess the only cure is deriving petty amusement out of the oddball things people like yourself feel compelled to say to total strangers, I HOPE MY INSURANCE COVERS IT.

  28. Shannon on March 24th, 2008 8:42 am

    Oh my! We don’t have any pics to document it, but after E told the older kiddo “the whole family is going to match!” as she was following him around before church I was relegated to digging through my closet for something vaguely fitting in the color pink…I may have lost some fashion post partum points but all four of us ended up matching and the toddler was thrilled!

  29. jonniker on March 24th, 2008 9:03 am

    HAHAHAHA, there are so many things going on here, I don’t know where to start. Just know that I laughed those heaving laughs while reading most of this.

    For starters, and this is awful, but the idea of Riley almost taking himself out with the brick hearth should not be funny, but oh, the way you described it, IT IS.

    Then sasa. Oh, sasa. There’s something in the air lately, for my blog, like yours, is usually asshole-free, but I have been plagued by angry e-mails this week. Is it the economy? Are people saving money by purchasing shitty-ass toilet paper and their butt cracks hurt? WHAT IS IT?

    And finally, oh Jill. I love Jill and her comment, because I was thinking the same things. Like dude, KIDS are NO EXCUSE for neglecting YOUR PLANTS. PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, and when I have a baby, I plan on treating my plants as I always have, for they are my first babies. And I have a baby carrier for my plants and strap them to my front and take them to the grocery store and I am NOT CHANGING THAT when I have a baby!

    And for good measure: omg lol.

  30. Each on March 24th, 2008 9:22 am

    Your eldest always looks as if he the only place worse to be would be Auschwitz, so unhappy. Its hilarious and of course must be your hands on parenting.

    (read: sarcasm never works as well via the internets does it?)

  31. Brooke on March 24th, 2008 9:25 am

    Ah, balm for Monday mornings…. Love your blog, Linda!

  32. Kay on March 24th, 2008 10:15 am

    Beautiful family you got there Linda! :)

  33. Amy M. on March 24th, 2008 11:58 am

    Great photos – love the expressions on the kids’ faces & the weird bunny-duck. My toddler got a stuffed Thumper, which he spent Easter night vomiting on. Yay for the germ farm day care!

    Poor plant? It looks a heck of a lot better than most of mine, which are already occupying space on the “bring out ye dead cart”. We’re just missing the cray lady whacking the cat in the background.

    Also very envious of your yard. Ours has a foot of snow on it. Egg hunting was definitely done inside!

  34. Jamie on March 24th, 2008 11:58 am

    I was thinking of you guys yesterday, as I crossed Pioneer Square and laughed at Sean for not bringing his umbrella with him, and wondering whether or not you’d be celebrating.

    We had such an amazing time in Seattle/Tofino – thanks again for the info! Happy Easter!

  35. ben on March 24th, 2008 1:24 pm

    Dayum you’re funny. Picturesque, too.

    Glad you had a good candy day…

  36. Bianca on March 24th, 2008 5:48 pm

    Please tell me that Jill is a friend of yours who is making fun of overly sensitive, hyper-sanctimonious, politically correct people. That comment can’t be real. There’s no way someone would honestly write all of that stuff…is there?

  37. Rayne on March 24th, 2008 5:52 pm

    You look so fantastic – it is hard to believe you just had that little baby. Nice work!

  38. Jill on March 25th, 2008 5:09 am

    Bianca: I’m not a personal friend, but the rest is dead on. There’s no way someone would honestly write all of that stuff…at least I wouldn’t.
    It was really a response to the commenter who told Linda she probably has PPD, and all those commenters at Parent Dish who continue to be outraged at her writing.
    I think Linda is hilarious and certainly hoped that she picked up on my sarcasm!

  39. Christina on March 25th, 2008 8:18 am

    I absolutely LOVE the picture of Dylan by himself, with his little shoulder-shrugging pose! I got a chuckle out of how adorable he is! Love that sweater too! Where’d ya get it??

    We had a very similar Easter experience. My son took much greater pleasure in the mini-pretzels I put inside those toxin-ridden plastic eggs than he did in his actual baskets. FOUR of them, to be exact. Could the kid be any more spoiled? lol Thanks Grandma & Grandpa!

  40. Josh on March 25th, 2008 6:09 pm

    JB sucks at fake smiling. Tell him I said that. He can leap over veritable border fences, but he can’t crack a believable smile? For shame!

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