1. I had a pelvic exam this morning and the doctor who Took Care of Business was my age or younger. Is it too much to ask that the person who ends up cranking my parts open with the duck-billed instrument of evil and peering where the sun literally does not shine NOT be someone I could have gone to high school with? Of course, this problem is only going to get worse. Soon enough it will be someone I could have baby-sat, then someone I could have birthed.

2. JB has to travel to Asia on business for at least 9 days in April and the current plan is that the children and I will stay with my in-laws in Oregon for this period of time. Hold me.

3. I feel like I should appreciate both anise and Radiohead, and yet I do not.

4. Am I ever going to get a full night’s sleep again? Tell me the truth, now.

5. ALSO, the scale at my doctor’s office clearly has some grievous inaccuracies with regards to my current weight, considering that my home scale displays a number at least 4 pounds lighter. What’s that you say? No, I’m sorry, my $10 bathroom scale CANNOT BE WRONG.

Comments

59 Responses to “5 pointless things”

  1. Christine on March 25th, 2008 9:20 am

    4. No

  2. Sabine on March 25th, 2008 9:29 am

    I don’t care for Radiohead or anise either.

  3. kim on March 25th, 2008 9:43 am

    now I’m all Mushy! Jeeeeepers, good thing the tubes to my Mommyhood are tied, or I’d be in the maternity clothing again.

    He’s just so danm cute.

    and your scale is NOT wrong, and anise sucks.

  4. Penny on March 25th, 2008 3:06 pm

    Sleep is so overrated! Seriously, I have sleep issues now that most my kids are grown, the youngest being 15 years old and the oldest about to turn 23 years old. I stayed up so much in that time now I can’t sleep! It’s crazy.

  5. clarabella on March 25th, 2008 3:59 pm

    Sorry to be the annoying one who uses this space to comment on comments, but my fingers won’t stop itching.

    Anna-It takes a lot to offend and/or gross me out, but if my doctor said something about using a picture to save KY jelly because it made women wet (HOLY SHIT–DID HE REALLY SAY THAT?), I might just slap him in the face. Gah, I can’t even put into words why I find that so distasteful.

    Nick-I was actually referring to the amount of eyeliner I wore when I adored Radiohead. I don’t hate; I just fell out of love with them. And I never really liked The Cure (ahhh! ducks for cover).

  6. Josh on March 25th, 2008 6:20 pm

    In response:
    1- if some doctor chick were to need to take a close look at my junk, I would not want her to be old, partly because doctors are sexy, and partly because old peoples hands are gross.
    2- Five bucks says when he comes back he says “Me so horny, I love you long time”.
    3- I don’t know if Anise is someone I’ve never heard of or just a spice, but as for Radiohead, fuck that shit. Only art fag bitch faces like Radiohead. They had ONE GOOD SONG! Give it up Radiohead fans. In fact, just go download some Iron Maiden to wash that thought right out of your head. (walks off muttering) … (but then comes back because he wasn’t finished commenting, and therefore can’t leave yet)
    4- Yes, you will sleep at night when your kids are teenagers and they are being quiet at night so they can more easily sneak out of the house to go party their underage brains out. Glad I could ease your mind.
    5- May I also suggest that the gravity at your doctors office is broken.

  7. Nick on March 26th, 2008 7:26 am

    Clarabella – Ah, all is clear now. As for the Cure, Robert Smith just sort of reminds me of a creepy uncle now, yuck.

    Josh – The fact that you think Radiohead had one good song (lemme guess, “Creep”) and that you use the phrase “art fag bitch faces” completely nullifies any point you may have had. Blah.

  8. wealhtheow on March 26th, 2008 2:24 pm

    What I find particularly galling is that while the scale makes me weigh less than I really am, causing unpleasant shocks when I go to the doctor’s office with a real scale, that selfsame scale makes my son weigh MORE than he actually does, causing unpleasant shocks when I go to his doctor’s office.

  9. Anna on March 27th, 2008 7:09 am

    To Clarabelle yes he did he had a different picture in every room. His name was doctor Ruckel and he was a long time OBG/YN here in Reno I think he delivered almost everyone’s baby in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. He was a very well know and very funny doctor.

    One time he was at a really fancy party with a lot of doctors and they asked him what he wanted to drink and he said breast milk the doctors wife’s didn’t think is was very funny. Another time he was in a staircase in the hospital and the lights went out it was dark and they were looking for the door he told the people in there that if the handle had some hair on it he would find it.

    He was a great doctor, good looking and very funny I think it made it easier going to see him he was very loved by all his patients.

Leave a Reply