For the last couple nights Dylan has slept from around 11:30 PM until 5 AM, and I am greatly pleased with this turn of events. It seems almost ridiculously greedy to try and eke more sleep out of him once I’ve fed him at 5 AM, but while on one hand I’m thinking yay, 5 AM! I am of course also thinking, jesus fuck, it’s only 5 AM.

He spends the majority of his night in the bassinet but after his wee-hour milkfest I tend to move him into the swing. The movement seems to lull him back to sleep faster, or perhaps the sheer g-forces of the thing flattens him into helpless immobility. My main criticism of our otherwise-beloved “Nature’s Touch” cradle swing aside from the beshitted 7-minute audio cutoff is the fact that the lowest movement setting is quite robust — it actually has like five more notches above this, which I can only assume is intended for launching your child into space when you’ve had all you can take of their goddamn fussing. During daylight hours the sight and sound of the swing rocking back and forth seems gentle enough, but for some reason in the dark of our silent bedroom it seems like it should come with several restraining straps and maybe a barf bag. When Dylan finally wakes up later in the morning I picture him desperately flailing for the Off switch like Maggie in her Swingamajig.

If all else fails sleepwise I take Dylan back to bed with me, where he forms a warm loaf on my chest. His little body, even in slumber, scootches upward until his head is pressed against my jaw, which makes me paranoid that his malleable Play-Doh skull will end up with a chin-shaped dent in it. He creates an oval-shaped sweaty spot on my chest while my back aches and eventually my trachea collapses thanks to the babysnout shoving into my neck, but I can definitely think of less pleasant ways to pass the time.

In the mornings when Riley comes galloping into our bedroom he makes the same announcement every time: “It’s Diwwan!” He turns to me with his five-foot-long eyelashes all fluttery with wonder. “It’s Diwwan, Mommy.” Like it’s a wonderful surprise, every single day.


42 Responses to “Sweet dreams”

  1. nonsoccermom on April 3rd, 2008 11:12 am

    That is so sweet – Riley is too cute.

  2. Sara L. on April 3rd, 2008 11:14 am

    Beautiful. And yep, that was me a little less than a year ago, with the baby pressing into my throat like the world’s snugliest garotte. Oh, and I also thought the swing settings were incredibly fast, until my girl grew a bajillion pounds in two months, and then it groaned and didn’t move at all. Whoa, inertia!

    Love your parenting entries, always make me cry….

  3. Eric's Mommy on April 3rd, 2008 11:14 am

    How cute, love the “warm loaf”

    The swing we had was the same way, we always used the side to side motion I would swear he was going to go flying across the room!

  4. Michelle on April 3rd, 2008 11:14 am

    Yay Diwwan!!!! I’m so glad the sleep situation is improving and I hope it “sticks”.

  5. Kirsten on April 3rd, 2008 11:15 am

    okay that was just waaay too much sweetness to read about. Hopefully the yearning in my uterus right now will help START LABOR ALREADY. I want my own Diwwan to put a chin dent into! hehe

  6. Christina on April 3rd, 2008 11:33 am

    We have that same swing – and man did that thing go fast! Sara L. is right, once baby is a little bigger, we used the higher settings.

    I brought that damn swing into our room in the morning too in those first couple of months. That SOB is a bitch to move, and I did a number on our door jam with those legs trying to get it in and out every day. I was a little worried about moving him to the swing too – but it let us get a couple more hours of sleep so looking back it was well worth it. He is now 16 mos and sleeps through the night like an angel, 12 or 13 hrs a night.

  7. Someone Being Me on April 3rd, 2008 11:34 am

    Yep, I did the same. I would feed and then either try the swing or sleep with him on my chest. I loved that though. The sweet little head nuzzled up under my chin.

  8. mandy on April 3rd, 2008 11:35 am

    there are worse things…for sure.

    like when they are one and emptying the cabinets (you were so proud of yourself for organizing) due to the fact you are too lazy to put child locks on.

  9. Emily on April 3rd, 2008 11:38 am

    That 11:30 to 5am thing is something I’d like to forget about early parenting. The fact that we have to celebrate five and a half hours of sleep and still get up at 5am? UGH.

    But the idea of Baby Loaf made me giggle.

  10. Jill on April 3rd, 2008 11:44 am

    It’s Diwwan! Oh my god so sweet. My older brother couldn’t say his l’s or his j’s so my name was always turned into a big ol mess. Also? ‘perhaps the sheer g-forces of the thing flattens him into helpless immobility’ HA

  11. Maxine Dangerous on April 3rd, 2008 11:46 am

    OMG, my uterus just exploded. MUST.PROCREATE. That was a wonderful glimpse at your family. Blessed Be! :)

  12. Jessica on April 3rd, 2008 11:53 am

    We had the same swing, and I thought the EXACT SAME THING when we first brought our baby home. But as time went on and he got bigger, the speeds didn’t quite scare me as much as they had before. Just wait, it’ll get to the point when the swing can’t keep up with the weight of the baby! lol…I remember ours struggling towards the end, and D was only in the 5th percentile for his weight. The other thing I never used on the swing was that stupid tray with the flippy toy things on it. It just got in the way, and the boy would cry if I put it on. Also, for some reason, he never liked the more upright position of the seat. He always liked laying back. Plus, when I did sit him upright, it scared the living bejeesus out of me that he WOULD fall out! lol…

  13. SemiDesperate Housewife on April 3rd, 2008 11:59 am

    Addy always does that surprised delight thing, too, when she hears Eli wake up from his naps- she’ll grab my hand and enthuse, “Eli ‘wake! Go GET him!” Every time, it’s a thrill. For her, I mean. I’m usually thinking, “Already?” But it’s still sweet.

  14. Jen on April 3rd, 2008 12:29 pm

    I have that exact same swing and now that Cole is older and fatter.. the lowest setting BARELY EVEN MOVES him and is perfect for sustaining looong naps. I still have yet to put the swing on the highest setting… who wants to swing THAT HARD!?! It’s like a workout.

  15. Peggasus on April 3rd, 2008 12:45 pm

    Oh man, I haven’t though about those times in ages. My boys are 21 and 16 now, so it’s been a while. Those were some sweet days, that’s fer shure…thanks for reminding me of them.

  16. Amy M. on April 3rd, 2008 12:59 pm

    Awww to the warm baby loaf! I’m so looking forward to having those snuggly moments again!

    My toddler despised his baby swing. I’m hoping this next one enjoys it!

  17. Joanne on April 3rd, 2008 1:07 pm

    Ha – I used that fast setting for my boy from the time he was like 2 weeks old. He was super colicky and required much movement. I used to keep the swing in the livingroom by the front door and I can remember the mailman looking in like “are you crazy?” when he’d see how fast it was going. Now for my daughter, I just use a slow setting because she’s not as fussy as he was and it seems really fast!

  18. NG on April 3rd, 2008 1:16 pm

    My youngest is 6 months and already to the point where she doesn’t do that sleeping on my chest/scooching up to my throat thing. I totally miss it.

  19. All Adither on April 3rd, 2008 1:43 pm

    It’d be nice if that sibling joy would last forever. Perhaps your kids are wonderful freaks of nature and it will.

  20. Leah on April 3rd, 2008 1:49 pm

    Ass-vice…record the music and loop it, burn to CD, set CD to repeat. I’m sure you’ve thought of this.

    I have my own sweet sweaty baby loaf – I think the scootchy thing is an effort to hear my heartbeat.

    The swing just left the living room for the shed – at 10 months. Now what? Ah, of course…the backpack!

  21. AMJ on April 3rd, 2008 2:51 pm

    I’d just like to say to All Adither, my brothers and me (a girl) all got along well as kids. Now the eldest has his own family so we don’t see him as much, but my other brother is and always has been my closest friend.

  22. Allison on April 3rd, 2008 3:13 pm

    I LOVEEEEEEEE all your Simpsons references!

  23. JenL on April 3rd, 2008 3:31 pm

    We had the same swing with Sophie, and were also freaked out by the crazy speed at first. There’s a trick we learned though: Until the day that Dylan gains enough weight to slow the swing down on his own, you can take a towel or small blanket and tuck one end under the baby, or somewhere in the padding on the swing, and let the other end trail on the floor. Just that extra little bit of drag seemed to tone things down enough that I was less afraid that the baby would be launched into the nearest wall. :)

  24. biscuit on April 3rd, 2008 3:32 pm

    there could be less pleasant ways to pass the time such as photographing awesome huge dead opossums on a leisurely walk with the baby. . .

    okay, I lied. I spotted the thing a couple days ago, but HAD to go back + document such a bountiful roadkill.

    I figure you + JB would appreciate this with your amazing humor + all:

  25. Mary O on April 3rd, 2008 3:34 pm

    So glad that Dylan is sleeping better. It makes you enjoy him so much more, doesn’t it? Riley is too cute.

  26. Jennifer on April 3rd, 2008 4:37 pm

    “a warm loaf on my chest”

    …also known as a “cleveland steamer”


    Really though, this was such a sweet little post. I’m so glad things are on the up and up!

  27. Kelly on April 3rd, 2008 5:27 pm

    OMG how sweet :D

    As for the swing being so fast (I’m too damn lazy to read all the comments so I will just pretend this hasn’t been said in case it actually has…) What worked for slowing down our swing, was hanging a blanket over the edge of it. Like over our son, but letting it hang over… We figured it out bec one day the damn blanket wouldn’t stay folded over him and it slowed down to almost STOPPED with just a light receiving blanket. And we had that bird~ papasan one. Hope that helps ya out :)

  28. Di on April 3rd, 2008 5:41 pm

    The Girl was so dependent on the swing for a while there, that the husband rewired ours to run on AC power. Much better than batteries. She was lulled to sleep for 8 hours at a stretch in that thing!

  29. danielle on April 3rd, 2008 8:08 pm sweet is that?? I could eat them up! Don’t you love when they scoot up and up until they are basically wrapped around your neck like a scarf??? I can say in all honesty that I wish the little ‘loaf’ days.

  30. Victoria on April 3rd, 2008 9:09 pm

    It’s Diwwan! He’s still here!

    ; )

  31. Sarah on April 3rd, 2008 11:15 pm

    I had a thought (worth noting because MAN is it rare these days): does the music on the swing shut off after 7 minutes even if it’s plugged in to the wall? Also, those top five settings are for when your child becomes a BEHEMOTH at 4 months old and then eventually even the top setting will fail to swing the child because he is so damn big and you’ll end up burning out the motor. Ask me how I know.

    oh, and if dog is really hard up for a place to stay, we can always take her for the week… just let me know. :)

  32. Becky on April 4th, 2008 6:37 am

    I miss snuggly warm loaf babies!

  33. Andrea on April 4th, 2008 7:07 am

    I was thinking the same thing of our swing only now, it doesn’t seem so violently intent on pitching my daughter to the moon. I think she’s gaining weight and so the seat doesn’t swing as easily.

    While my back screamed for an end to the loaf baby days, now that they’re fewer and farther between (hard for her to scootch up my chest when she’s in the swaddle that will keep her asleep for 7 straight hours) I’m missing them more. Though I did notice that I had a few more zits under my chin from the neck snuggling and sweating. Glad those are gone.

    Note to self: make more time for loaf baby, zits be damned.

  34. willikat on April 4th, 2008 7:52 am

    Baby loaf? It’s Diwwan? My heart is melting. Melt melt melted.

  35. Anais on April 4th, 2008 8:48 am

    First, the following sentence made me laugh so loud, I scared the living daylights out of my cat: “it actually has like five more notches above this, which I can only assume is intended for launching your child into space when you’ve had all you can take of their goddamn fussing.”


    “In the mornings when Riley comes galloping into our bedroom he makes the same announcement every time: “It’s Diwwan!” He turns to me with his five-foot-long eyelashes all fluttery with wonder. “It’s Diwwan, Mommy.” Like it’s a wonderful surprise, every single day.”

    That is the sweetest thing ever!

  36. telegirl on April 4th, 2008 9:50 am

    Such a sweet and funny entry. I love reading your blog, Sundry. Thanks for doing this day in and day out!

  37. victoria on April 4th, 2008 11:31 am

    Awwwwwww. You so perfectly capture the miseries and joys of parenthood. I love your writing.

  38. Queen of Shake Shake on April 4th, 2008 1:35 pm

    Awwww, that’s sweet. Love how kids get it more often than we do.

  39. kendra! on April 6th, 2008 8:41 pm

    Mayhaps Nature’s Touch could lend a little propellant to our Starlight Papasan swingamajig because our little porker at 2 months is just barely moving molecules around at the highest speed. Shoot!

  40. Chris on April 6th, 2008 8:43 pm

    my god…that last paragraph…my heart is swelling…

  41. pam on April 7th, 2008 9:24 am

    yeah, we have that swing too and i swear it’s going to launch a baby right out of it one day.

  42. Josh on April 7th, 2008 3:01 pm

    If only you could find some way to harness Riley’s excitement about Dillan, concentrate it in pill form, or possibly just inject it strait in your blood stream like heroin, (but less killy) and apply it to five am. Then every morning the, uh, … not sun, what’s the word I’m looking for ….. bleak darkness would greet you with all the happiness that’s usually reserved for losing your virginity to the playboy playmate calendar girls, all at the same time. I imagine this sort of freakish morning enthusiasm is reserved for evil spirits, the Amish, and people who eat vanilla yogurt with cottage cheese as a splurge food. (sorry if that last bit was a smidgen repetitive)

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