Dylan didn’t wake me up until 4:45 yesterday morning and after a brief and productive milk-bonging session I was lying back in bed thinking how grateful I am that we’re slowly moving past the uber-awful No Sleep Til Brooklyn (Note: There Is No Fucking Brooklyn) Stage when Riley started crying next door. “Ah-heh, ah-heh, ah-hehhhhhhh,” he whimpered, and I lay there fervently praying he would go back to sleep or maybe be quieted by a (painless!) falling anvil or something but no, he kept at it until I finally got up and stumbled into his room.

“I want get UP,” he immediately announced, and ignored my passionate whispered sermon on the subject of staying in bed and why we don’t exit the bed when it’s still dark outside (for the love of CHRIST), eventually trumping me completely by piteously declaring that he was HONGRY, Mommy. So we got up, my pajama-clad boy and I, at the horrific hour of 5:30 AM, and went out to the kitchen where I fed him a waffle and sat slumped at the table while he peppered me with questions: “Mommy TIRED? Mommy makea COFFEE? Daddy inna AIRPLANE? Where GRANDPA? Where GAMMIE?”

After about an hour of trying to surreptitiously pass out on the living room couch while Riley continually peeled back my eyelids and shouted “WAKE UP MOMMY!” into my nasal cavities, JB’s dad emerged and told me to go back to bed. Which I did, at which point Dylan, who had been sleeping blissfully, instantly started grousing and scritching around. So I got back up and staggered back out with the baby and my in-laws, bless their souls, told me they’d take him too and to go ahead and get some more sleep, so I went back to bed again and just as I was starting to drift off I noticed there was a big-ass fucking SPIDER on the ceiling.

I looked at it and weighed my arachnophobia against my desire for sleep and I decided screw it, I was too tired, and surely it wasn’t going anywhere, and I kept closing my eyes and opening them again to check on the spider and finally I started zonking out for real and then I heard a tiny, tiny noise, like a barely perceptible thud and I opened my eyes again and the spider was gone.

Where had it fallen? Was it on the bed somewhere? And the question that could not be ignored: how long before it crawled between my open lips and set up camp in my mouth oh my GOD.

So I got up. For good. Because apparently there are just some mornings when 4:45 is the best you can do.


In other news, I am kind of loving Flickr’s new video function:


35 Responses to “Sleep, spiders, and invisible balls”

  1. claire on April 14th, 2008 10:50 am

    I like Flickr video as well, even though – apparently – a lot of people are hating it. This way, I don’t have to use Vimeo anymore and send family to two different sites.

    Love the newest pics too.

  2. Swistle on April 14th, 2008 10:50 am

    Ha! “Grousing and scritching.” We call that “gritching.”

  3. annie on April 14th, 2008 10:52 am

    OMG! Did you ever find the spider????

  4. Eric's Mommy on April 14th, 2008 11:00 am

    Oh my God! I really hope that spider was found!

    Last time we had a spider in the house and my husband wasn’t home, I pushed the couch away from the wall (the spider was on the ceiling above the couch). Then I waited for him to come home, the whole time either me or Eric had to have one eye on the spider. god forbid if the spider fell on the couch and then we didn’t know where it was!!

    My skin is crawling just thinking about it.

  5. Sarah on April 14th, 2008 11:03 am

    You seriously just CRACK ME UP. That’s all.

  6. Kelly on April 14th, 2008 11:07 am

    That video is so sweet. And I love Dylan’s little hiccups! :)

  7. samantha jo campen on April 14th, 2008 11:12 am

    Reason right there that bottle feeding is the way to go. SOMEONE ELSE FEEDING THEM SO YOU CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP, spider or no.

    I know you touched upon other matters, but that’s the only thing I could focus on.

  8. NancyB on April 14th, 2008 11:12 am

    OMG that video was wonderful! I remember those days of repeating back into real words what my son was saying in his toddler gibberish. I was always the only one who could figure out – or take the time to actually LISTEN to – what he was saying.
    It sounds like you have had a pretty decent time with the in-laws and I’d bet they were delighted to have you all there.

  9. Tessie on April 14th, 2008 11:16 am

    Man, it must be an EXTRA heinous kick to the nuts when the child that wakes up is the one who USUALLY sleeps through the night.

    When I lose track of a bug, I like to tell myself that my dog ate it. (WHY?)

  10. Nancy on April 14th, 2008 11:18 am

    Naked baby hiccups = ADORABLE

    Gotta love inlaws willing to take all the kids off your hands so you can sleep in! Damn that spider for spooking you out of bed. I don’t doubt that thud you heard was the spider trying to divebomb you. eeeesssshhhh *shudder*

  11. Operation Pink Herring on April 14th, 2008 11:20 am

    I’m not sure if I love the mental image of Riley saying “momma makea coffee?” or the ACTUAL image of Riley pouting over his invisible ball more!

  12. Jennifer on April 14th, 2008 11:29 am

    Is there anything cuter than a baby hiccup? My guess is NO.

    Re: the spider. Dude, I would have had to burn down the house and move into a teepee in the backyard had it not been captured and either released back into the wild or destroyed immediately. Being from Texas, roaches in your house are just an unfortuante nuisances. Spiders – anytime, anywhere – scare the holy living piss out of me.

  13. Sarah Lena on April 14th, 2008 11:37 am

    I remember that:

    in my college years, 4:45 was when I went to bed.

    in my early professional years, 4:45 was when INSANE people were awake.

    now, it’s when the world is awake. Because I am and so is the babeh.

    I can’t wait for the next stage. It HAS to involve sleep, because, seriously. DAYUM.

  14. the goddess anna on April 14th, 2008 11:47 am

    My daughter is now in love with Riley, and (again) is asking for a new baby in the house.

    My cats love to eat spiders; I think that’s the only reason I put up with them sometimes.

  15. Chris on April 14th, 2008 11:52 am

    what a sweet little voice to put with the sweet little face.

  16. Tracy on April 14th, 2008 12:16 pm

    did you ever find the spider? Yuck. That really sucks, that a day of in-law sitting was ruined by a damn spider

  17. Valria on April 14th, 2008 12:41 pm

    Because the pictures you post are not cute enough you must KILL us with voices and hiccups.

  18. Ginitag44 on April 14th, 2008 12:49 pm

    O.M.G. How freaking adorable! Now I love them even more!

    As for the spider – I would have jumped out of that bed so quickly at the *thump*. I don’t blame you for waking up.


  19. Jessica on April 14th, 2008 12:59 pm

    If you want a good laugh, go and check out the Everything New is Bad group on flickr for some snarky fun. I understand that “serious” photographers are upset by the video component, but really, how many people just use flickr to share photos with their family and friends? I think way more than “serious” photographers.

  20. donna on April 14th, 2008 1:25 pm

    What Valria said, and also, if the spider came down off the ceiling, it would have been on a thread, so it would have not made a noise on the bed when it fell. Cuz you know, they don’t fall. I vote you take an afternoon nap instead!

  21. mrsgryphon on April 14th, 2008 2:01 pm

    Oh, I love having a voice to put with Riley’s awesome expressions! And I am in the middle of that “repeat what the toddler said” stage, too… love it, but 6 hours of that non-stop (like I did this morning!) is exhausting. I’m going to go check my room for spiders, and have a nap while my girl is sleeping (quietly).

    P.S. Baby hiccups are adorable, especially for the “hey, what was that?!” look on his face!

  22. Amy Q on April 14th, 2008 2:31 pm

    I love the little toddler-speak. SO cute.

  23. Danell on April 14th, 2008 2:49 pm


  24. Christina on April 14th, 2008 3:01 pm

    OH sweet mother, that Hiccup at the end just blew my mind!
    My GOD can you go to sleep in that room ever again without finding that spider??

  25. Erin on April 14th, 2008 4:15 pm

    Wow! I really hope you found that spider! I get the chills just thinking about it!

  26. Shawna on April 14th, 2008 4:37 pm

    I don’t know if this works or not ’cause I haven’t tried it out yet (I think our daughter is still a bit too young), but I read somewhere (I think it was on daytipper.com) about this idea that sounds potentially awesome: this woman puts a nightlight on one of those automatic timer things and tells her kids that they can’t get up/out of their rooms until the light goes off. How cool would that be if it works?

  27. ShannonJ on April 14th, 2008 4:42 pm

    Did I see a tiny fleeting moment of SUSPICION on young Dylan’s face?! Those boys are both just adorable.

  28. willikat on April 14th, 2008 5:03 pm

    oh man. first of all—mommy make coffee? hilarious. second, i’m sorry, you tried and even got HELP to sleep in. that’s some serious universe working against you. also, look in your bed before you get in. what if it has BABIES? that’s what i always worry about. sorry if i just added to your fears. i have major bug phobias.

  29. Pam on April 14th, 2008 6:51 pm

    Hiccups!! Love the baby hiccups. And now I have to ask, did you find the spider and if not, will you be sleeping in that room tonight?

  30. Lesley on April 14th, 2008 8:26 pm

    Riley is so sweeeeeeeeeet. It’s so great to hear him talking. And Dylan is chubulicious. Keep the cuteness coming. Now I’ll go read the entry.

  31. Meagan on April 14th, 2008 8:52 pm

    GAH! That spider is the stuff of nightmares. Seriously. I actually had a nightmare like that (only with a bit more underground and scary fantasy elements) and ended up making a short story out of it. (so there’s up sides to everything right?)

  32. Sleepynita on April 14th, 2008 9:35 pm

    Ugh. The whole soft thunk of the freaking spider thing gave me the willies. Seriously there is nothing that could be worse then a spider or bug crawling about your bed.

    Except for maybe a blue whale….

  33. Eric's Mommy on April 15th, 2008 4:29 am

    I couldn’t watch the flickr video here at work so I watched it at home. How freakin cute is Riley’s voice!!!!! And baby hiccups…..my teeth hurt.

  34. Jennifer on April 15th, 2008 9:57 am

    “how long before it crawled between my open lips and set up camp in my mouth oh my GOD.”

    I have a totally different fear about spiders in my bed and I’ll give you one clue, I never sleep sans underpants…

  35. KD on April 15th, 2008 2:01 pm

    Oh my god, your little boys are THE CUTEST WUTEST WIDDLE GUYS!

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