Can I just say how much I’ve been enjoying your movie star crushes? And with every comment I think, oh yeah, HIM TOO. How could I have forgotten Viggo as Aragorn, my god, or Orlando as Legolas? Mmmm, Man-Elfwich. Also, the bathtub scene in Out of Sight with George Clooney, Clive Owen in every-damn-thing, the FOX in Robin Hood (yes, yes, YES!).

I LOVE that one of you listed Philip Seymour Hoffman, by the way.

Let me cycle back to the tines-up/tines-down issue. I hear you saying that tines-up maximizes your chances of getting everything as clean as possible, but what about the hand-stabbing? Am I just clumsy, or what? Because I have had to wear a Band-aid two nights in a ROW as a result of being skewered by a upward-facing steak knife.

Also, unrelated to anything but because I’m halfway watching American Idol right now and Mariah Carey is warbling away: I have been compared to Mariah Carey more than once with regards to facial features. I don’t know how to say it without being kind of a dick but Mariah Carey? Not a pretty woman, in my opinion. Guess who else someone compared me to recently? ChloĆ« Sevigny. Hmmmmmmm.

So my boy Dylan has grown right before my eyes since we’ve been here in Coos Bay. All of a sudden he can’t be crammed into his tiny newborn outfits, his size 1 Swaddlers are too tight, and he’s noticeably more aware and, I don’t know, sentient. He makes all these hilarious sounds: AWOO, AGOO, AWWW. He demands entertainment in the form of looming human faces or dangling toys and if left to his own devices he voices a loud complaint. I love the new, more interactive update (Baby V. 2.1.4!) but hoo boy, things are actually getting a bit harder, too, because he can’t be . . . um, stuffed in a corner and ignored anymore. Which is to say, OH SAY IT WITH ME: nobody puts Baby in a corner.


87 Responses to “Jolie laide”

  1. Amy on April 17th, 2008 9:15 am

    No on the Mariah thing…yes on forks up (but the pointy knives always go down) We’ve been without the dishwasher so long I’d forgotten about that great debate. Ours broke and replacing it will require either removing the countertops or the floor….maybe next year!

    By the way…can I ship Cody and Zoey up to stay with Dog when we drive to Anaheim??? They only lick themselves once in awhile!

  2. Stephanie on April 17th, 2008 9:37 am

    My very first: Pierce Brosnon in Remmington Steele…and then again in The Thomas Crowne Affair. My god did I want to be Laura Holt.

  3. kalisah on April 17th, 2008 9:43 am

    no, no, no! You’re RIGHT! Silverware DOWN.

    Cleaner? Jesus Christ, how much stuff are you cramming into your dishwasher before you run it? Unless you’ve got an entire service for 12 in there, your forks and such should get clean just fine.

    (PS – I’ve been compared to Marie Osmond [pre-surgery] and Linda Blair.)

  4. biscuit on April 17th, 2008 9:46 am

    I always thought I was weird because I would totally do it (like animals) to the fox from Disney’s Robin Hood. Feels good to know I’m not alone. I watched that movie constantly when I was a little girl just to daydream of that fox of a fox!

    I also enjoy Zach Braff in Garden State + just about everything else he does. I LOVE cute dorks.

    I’m shocked no one has said Terrance Howard. OMG he is delicious. I especially liked him in Pride.

    Also, Bruce Lee was a hottie.

    I don’t discriminate; different races or CARTOONS, it don’t matter to me! Sexy is sexy in my book.

    As for dishwasher dos + don’ts, how the silverware land is how they get washed in this house. We’re not supposed to dishwasher knives? That might explain why my stainless steel Ginsus started to rust after I ran them through the machine.

  5. biscuit on April 17th, 2008 9:48 am

    Oh shizz, I forgot to mention who I’ve been told I look like:

    – Jodie Foster (ick)
    – Claire Danes (this is agree with)
    – if Gywneth Paltrow + Martha Stewart had a baby (as per my husband)

    I don’t think you look like Mariah OR Chloe just like I don’t look like Jodie or Martha!

  6. Leah on April 17th, 2008 10:09 am

    Simon once told a girl that she looked like Marilyn Manson. No amount of “but I meant it as a compliment!”s could save that one.

    And I too have a crush on Philip Seymour Hoffman. Talent makes me hot.

  7. stephanie brown on April 17th, 2008 10:33 am

    Whether you continue to read or not, I wanted to let you know I talked about you! :)

  8. Jules on April 17th, 2008 10:40 am

    I once had a guy who was trying to get in my pants tell me that I looked like Joan Cusack; needless to say that the comparison did not help his already infinitesimal chances. Mostly I just get compared to the personalities of celebrities. Recently, I was told that I was just like Ellen Page in Juno, “if you would’ve gotten pregnant when we were in high school.” Heh, uh, thanks, I guess?

    I am in the all silverware points down contingent, due to a childhood incident involving a steak knife and a cut underneath my pointer finger nail. Ouch. My sisters are still traumatized by the retelling of this story. And I agree with Operation Pink Herring — it makes sense that you don’t touch the parts of clean utensils that will eventually go into mouths, no?

  9. telegirl on April 17th, 2008 10:48 am

    Forks/Spoons Up. Knives Down.

    I can’t possibly see Phillip Seymore Hoffman as sexy after his “I just sharted” quote from Along Came Polly. Ew!

  10. telegirl on April 17th, 2008 10:50 am

    …crap! “Seymour” I really shouldn’t talk to someone while I type.

  11. Rebecca on April 17th, 2008 11:01 am

    TOTALLY the fox from Robin Hood. I don’t know to be glad I’m not alone in that….or scared.

  12. Jen on April 17th, 2008 11:04 am

    People always tell me I look like Celine Dion. I am like, “THANKS ALOT! NOT!!” She is not an attractive woman. In. My. Opinion.

    I totally don’t think you and Mariah look alike. Plus: Mariah=Huge Beotch. Also in my opinion…

  13. Melissa on April 17th, 2008 11:09 am

    I prefer tines-down. Esp since a friend accidentally backed into an open dishwasher door and ended up pulling a knife out of her leg. I’d rather have dried oatmeal on my fork.

    I think ChloĆ« Sevigny is very pretty…she plays some unique characters but that is good. Surprised about the Mariah comparision though

  14. Emily on April 17th, 2008 11:14 am

    I just had a tines-up incident! A wayward fork stabbed me in the hand. And it hurt like a bitch because forks aren’t sharp, they don’t give you the pleasure of making a gentle entrance into the skin.

  15. Christina on April 17th, 2008 11:16 am

    I just wanted to say that I can “hear” how happy you are lately. I am so glad that your trip is going so well and that Dylan is coming out of the sweet but terrible newborn stage.
    I hope JB gets back soon though, since the boy is growing so quickly.

  16. Janet on April 17th, 2008 12:15 pm

    It was me who listed Philip Seymour Hoffman on my hottie list. I dunno, anyone who can say that they sharted themselves and still look cool is ok in my book. :)

  17. JennyM on April 17th, 2008 12:31 pm

    Foxy Robin Hood — I totally get that one. Sure, he was a cartoon, but he was confident and devil-may-care and witty, yet also sensitive and compassionate and he had a sense of humor. So basically, he was the Cloon as played by an animated cartoon fox.

  18. Katherine on April 17th, 2008 12:37 pm

    Tines up, pointy knives down, pull the basket and dump onto a clean towel to sort/put the Implements of Torture away.

    Philip Seymour Hoffman is a chameleon. Sometimes he’s HOT and sometimes he’s just a big lizard.

    Denzel, however, is always happiness on toast.

    I had a drunk on a bus once tell me I looked like Michelle Pfeiffer. I was grateful. I’ve also gotten Sela Ward (after I stopped being addicted to foiling) and Rene Russo. I don’t think I’d recognize Mariah Carey if she stood up in my soup, so I can’t comment there.

    Oh, and this is really in response to yesterday’s post, but as the human owner of a recipient of the loving care given VDs (no, NOT diseases) at V’s puppy ponderosa, Dog is very, very lucky. And my Sophie is just a bit jealous.

  19. Laura on April 17th, 2008 1:36 pm

    Okay, totally not the right post and not even about movie actors (I actually couldn’t think of any actors since it’s been about 50 years since I’ve actually seen a movie!), but Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters and Chris Cornell (previously with Audioslave) are both on my “opt out” list for my marriage :)

  20. Naomi in Oz on April 17th, 2008 2:42 pm

    Biscuit admitting that she like animals makes me feel soooo much better for admitting that I think Corbin Bleu (Disney ingenue)
    And we have points up, but we have a compartment for knives, one for forks, one for spoons – totally anal I know – but if the knives are in the corner compartment, you can get them out of the basket without impaling yourself

  21. ShannonJ on April 17th, 2008 3:17 pm

    Somebody just said the other day how much I reminded them of Gisele Bundchen…

    …and then my alarm went off. Ba-dum-chhh!

    Not too many comparisons here, but as a kid it was Pippi Longstocking. There was no Ariel for us red-headed kids back then. :)

  22. Kim on April 17th, 2008 3:40 pm

    The Chloe Sevigny reference made me laugh. Hopefully, you weren’t compared to her in Big Love. I love that show but she is homely.

    My favorite boy crush is John Cusack!

  23. Lesley on April 17th, 2008 5:03 pm

    Tines? I eat with my hands. Kidding. Ok, not when it’s potato chips.

    Loved the photos of Dog. Hilarious that photo of her in the other dog’s chair. Who says dogs aren’t generous with their stuff?

    Mariah Carey has had some plastic surgery. Her features look sliced and diced. Her body’s in pretty good shape though.

  24. justmouse on April 17th, 2008 6:04 pm

    ok..didn’t realize we were naming cartoons too…yes, the fox in robin hood DEFINATELY, but also Goliath (remember that show Gargoyles???), Shrek, and the beast from Beauty and the beast. i’d totally do ALL of them.

  25. Michelle on April 17th, 2008 9:35 pm

    I don’t comment often, but I have to add my .02 on the silverware: knives down, everything else up! Maximizes cleanliness AND safety!

  26. ELC on April 18th, 2008 5:42 am

    Justmouse -Really? You’d “do” Shrek, a Gargoyle & the Beast? If you had any idea how bad they smelled in person you would rethink that decision :)

    I also have an ongoing “discussion” about silverware direction in my house. It involves my very sharp “good knives” which until now I always washed carefully by hand and put sharp side up in the drying rack – to make sure their blades didn’t scrape each other & dull. Danger is my middle name.

    Now that I’m usually toting a baby as I walk by there…well danger is NOT my baby’s middle name (I got vetoed). So I ordered a big magnetic strip to put on the wall under the cabinets to save my blades and Kellen’s eyes.

  27. Tricia on April 18th, 2008 8:47 am

    I’ve been told I look like Ricki Lake. And I guess… I dunno. I think she’s pretty in that stare at her long enough she becomes pretty kind of way.

    We can’t all be Christie Brinkley though I guess.

    Also. I continue to wonder: Do they mean Large Ricki Lake or small Ricki Lake. :(

  28. Tricia on April 18th, 2008 8:50 am

    Oh yeah, and I put all my utensils tines up. I like to live on the edge I guess.

    I’m also supposed to hand-wash my steak knives, but who are they kidding. I dont have that kinda time. I got TV to watch!

  29. justmouse on April 18th, 2008 9:14 am

    ELC: about the shrek thing: it was suggested that my husband and i dress up as shrek and fiona for halloween. except for not being green,…sorta already have the look.

    what can i say, i like them big, rugged, and grumpy. (of course, now that you mention the smell…i might have second thoughts!)

  30. Kim on April 18th, 2008 6:34 pm

    1. Jude Law — The Talented Mr. Ripley

    2. Ralph Fiennes — The English Patient

    3. Peter O’Toole — Lawrence of Arabia


    –David Bowie, preferably as the Thin White Duke
    — Vincent Cassell, in the Oceans movies
    — Daniel Craig, Layer Cake

  31. Shawna on April 19th, 2008 4:40 am

    Everything except sharp objects goes tines up in our house – not for cleanliness, but because it seems to scratch the cutlery less, which is new and fancy… or at least it’s the first matched set we’ve gotten and it replaced the mismatched college stuff. Pointy things point down though.

  32. Mnerva on April 19th, 2008 2:02 pm

    When she was in the news more frequently I was told often that I looked like Fergie. Yes, the Duchess. *sigh* Not too thrilled with that comparison, to say the least. The best comeback, however, to my distaste at the comparison goes to a used car salesman who was a Brit: “Well, she’s a lot prettier in person!” LOL

    Can’t believe I am alone in my love of Kiefer (well ONE person mentioned him in “24”)!! As Ace Merill in Stand by Me or as Michael in Lost Boys? Anyone?

  33. sooboo on April 19th, 2008 2:07 pm

    I’ve been told that I look like Celine Dion. I guess we are both ethnic looking white people but um, no thanks. Once I was walking out of an event and all the blinding, crazy paparazzi flash starts going off. I kind of thought maybe I was famous and didn’t know it, but no, Chloe Sevigny was walking in front of me. Much prettier in person, if (as someone said above) you can get past the outfits.

  34. Jenny on April 20th, 2008 1:23 pm

    Just chiming in on the Mira Sorvino thing. (Only to the extent that you like her and are ok with the comparison. :)

  35. victoria on April 21st, 2008 9:54 am

    I used to be told that I looked like Melanie Griffiths, but no one says that anymore, thank god. Were you back home over the weekend? The weather was crAAAzy, with sleet and thick snowstorms, interspered with brightness and sun.

  36. erin on April 21st, 2008 12:08 pm

    Not having the time to read all the tines-up comments I’m gonna risk being the gross one, or the dumb one, or both. In a fully enclosed dishwasher where high pressured hot water and soap spew everywhere is there really such a thing as maximum cleaning potential dependent upon the situation of the tines?

    My biggest movie crush is Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Mmmmmmm! Will always love Patrick Dempsey in Can’t Buy Me Love and Michael Schoeffling in Sixteen Candles. Oldies but goodies. Yes to Viggo as Aragorn and also LOVE Brad Pitt in Troy!

  37. sophielovespeanutbutter on April 21st, 2008 6:29 pm

    Several years ago someone told me that I looked like Hillary Clinton. Beat. That. :/

    How fast are you loading that dishwasher anyway? Fast enough to jab a fork/knife/wooden spoon into your hand? I say slow down a bit. But best to put everything lethal side down, just to be safe.

    Yay for “AWOO, AGOO, AWWW’s”. :)

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