The Keens/White Socks Travesty is still going on, people. I may need to take drastic measures, like having that chipmunk-looking doctor from Intervention come out and help me deprogram JB. “If you won’t accept the help that’s being offered,” I’ll say, gulping back tears as I read from my carefully worded letter, “then I can no longer support your abominable fashion choices by helping you launder your eleventy jillion pairs of nerdy white athletic socks.”

(I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but Intervention has totally been my guilty maternity-leave daytime television, uh, addiction. Maybe two or three times a week I’d put that on in the afternoon while feeding Dylan, and weep my way through whatever horrific personal tragedy was unfolding before me. Especially during the ubiquitous footage of the ruined adult as a young, innocent toddler, galloping around with a sunny grin, no indication whatsoever of the terrible future awaiting them — then I’d really get going, blatting all over Dylan’s soft spot and wiping my nose on a burp cloth. Cathartic, in a soul-crushingly depressing sort of way!)

Speaking of fashion or a lack thereof I go back to work tomorrow and I have no idea what to wear. I have all these new dresses but it doesn’t quite seem like the right weather yet and my jeans sort of fit but they sort of don’t and everything in my closet just seems LAME. I work in an extremely casual office (as in, some of my coworkers have been known to shuffle around in sweatpants and slippers) but I have been living in yoga pants for three straight months and I’m vaguely thrilled to have an excuse to wear something without elastic, and yet I’m already wondering if there’s a shirt that can be paired with my trusty Lululemons because ARGH.

You guys always know best: it’s your first day back at work, you want to look nice, but not Trying Too Hard nice, and you want to make it through the day without your waistband exploding. What do you wear? What do you wear?

PS: Thank you for the music suggestions — so many great recommendations in there! My iTunes bill is going to be fierce, and what great timing, right when we’re pretty much broke from my paid leave being over. Come on, economy stimulus check! Mama needs another Kate Nash song!


42 Responses to “Turn to the left”

  1. Colleen on May 4th, 2008 9:01 pm

    No wardrobe advice here, but have a great first day back!

  2. **no name** on May 4th, 2008 9:03 pm

    Limewire is a free file sharing programme that is really easy to use. You type in the name of the song… click on the one you want and if you have broadband then BAM its downloaded instantly, FOR FREE!!! An excellent and very easy programme to use. Then you just add it to i-tunes, and then you can use it on your iPod. Did i mention its FREE!!?????

    **it also could be classed as illegal in some countries. But just remember… you are sharing files that other people have already paid for(like sharin g your dvds around your family. Think of this as a hugely extended family). It is in no way stealing! (well thats what i say :)**

  3. Kiwi on May 4th, 2008 9:04 pm

    When the weather gets above 40 degrees, I generally wear a skirt with thick stockings underneath or thigh highs/knee socks when it’s slightly warmer with a tall pair of classy boots. Not to be mistaken with the slutty high heeled, knee-high lace up dom-boots or my knee high lace up Timberlands of ass-kicking.

    Apparently, the men of NYC have been so deprived of flesh that the first warm day last month I went out in them I was cat-called left and right due to exposing my KNEES. Sexy, sexy knees apparently.

  4. clarabella on May 4th, 2008 9:21 pm

    I say a comfy (but classy, of course) skirt with a nice blouse that makes YOU feel pretty/sexy/attractive/bombshell/whatever you’re going for. I would say that you need to ensure comfort as much as the boost you get from wearing a bitching outfit. I imagine you’ve got something that includes comfort and bitching in your wardrobe, right?

  5. anna on May 4th, 2008 9:43 pm

    Maybe you can wear one of your new dresses but dress it down abit – ie. wear more casual shoes with it and/or knee high blk leggings underneath…at least it would solve the tummy confinement issue.

  6. Robyn on May 4th, 2008 11:25 pm

    I’m not a fashion guru or anything, but seriously? Black socks? (which I saw people mentioning regarding JB’s “problem”)…hasn’t that ALWAYS been a no-no?

    I kinda like the white socks, exactly the way he has them, all pushed down…

    Now, if he were wearing SANDALS with socks, I could understand the intervention. :)

  7. vague on May 4th, 2008 11:26 pm

    I agree with Clarabella on the skirt — way more comfortable, potentially, than not-quite-perfect-yet jeans, and also nice. I think I remember seeing some cute skirts in your flickr.

    If you have some jeans that would be comfortable, though, I do always like a jeans/nice top/heels combo, myself. Heels always give the right clack of authority and fanciness, but, with jeans, are not too fancy.

    Either way, have a great first day back with the grownups!

  8. Jennifer on May 5th, 2008 12:16 am

    Loose khaki pants and cotton sweater? Heh, I don’t think that’s quite your style, but that’s what I wear all year ’round!

    Have a great first week, good luck with your commute (urg) and I hope Dylan loves daycare! They’re sure to love him.

  9. Swistle on May 5th, 2008 3:34 am

    I would wear a skirt with a t-shirt. But then—what to do about FOOTWEAR?

  10. Eric's Mommy on May 5th, 2008 4:25 am

    I second Swistle’s comment, skirt with a t-shirt. I wear that combo all the time in the summer. I wear my Birkenstock’s because I am so fashionable!

  11. Deanna on May 5th, 2008 4:35 am

    I would wear a black skirt with a nice colorful shirt maybe a sweater to go along. Do you have ballerina type shoes ?
    Enjoy your first day back !

  12. Haley Linklater on May 5th, 2008 5:54 am

    HAve a good day at work, and also, isn’t this your anniversary? Happy Anniversary. Also, Happy Cinco de Mayo!

  13. Christina on May 5th, 2008 6:12 am

    Hope the 1st day back to work goes well! I have no fashion assvice because my GAWD if you saw how I dressed you would say yoga pants and nice top it is!!

  14. warcrygirl on May 5th, 2008 6:30 am

    I’d love to give you some fashion advice but coming from someone who drives their kids to school still wearing the flannel housepants she slept in the night before (and getting BUSTED by two parents and a scout from my own den) I think I’d better hold back. If you wore clean flannel housepants it could work, right?

  15. Becky on May 5th, 2008 6:38 am

    Good luck today….hope you found an outfit… take out for dinner…that way you can snuggle with your boys when you get home.

  16. All Adither on May 5th, 2008 6:41 am

    Have any elastic-waisted skirts?

    And, by the way, have you ever shopped at the Black/White, White/Black, or whatever the hell it is shop? Divine.

  17. Lawyerish on May 5th, 2008 6:47 am

    I LOVE “Intervention.” I love everything about it, including the driving theme song and the “you’re surrounded by a bunch of people who just love you like crazy” interventionists.

    I always get sobby when one of the parents/family members, the one that has shown themself to be kind of an a-hole throughout the show, reads their letter at the intervention and gets all teary and apologetic about their a-hole-ness. Gets me EVERY TIME. Also, when the interventionists cry. THEY REALLY CARE! Oh, man. That show RULES.

  18. Amy on May 5th, 2008 6:56 am

    How about a long button-up, tunicy top with a tank, yoga pants and cute flats. Comfy but still looks kinda sharp.

    Also, the thing that’s the most bothersome about JB’s sartorial choices is that he pairs the shoe/sock combo with a white T shirt. Looks like underwear to me – a colored T with the white socks and Keens wouldn’t look as dorky. My 2 cents.

  19. H on May 5th, 2008 7:50 am

    I love Intervention.

    I have no fashion advice but I have a going back to work fashion story for you. In 1991, when I returned to work after the birth of my daughter, I tried on a few outfits to see which one I’d wear my first day back to work. I put on a comfy but stylish (for 1991) dress that was quite flattering for my not-quite-back-to-normal body. I looked in the mirror and said to myself, “Well, when I put on a bra, it’ll look much better because my boobs won’t be hanging down by my waist.” I took off the dress, and guess what? I was already wearing a bra. Yeah. I’ve been wearing some kind of support bra ever since.

  20. superblondgirl on May 5th, 2008 7:51 am

    Weighing in too late to help, so I’ll just say that I hope your first day back is awesome!!

  21. Ginitag44 on May 5th, 2008 8:10 am

    By now you are probably at work wearing a great outfit. I hope you have a great day!
    My first day back I wore a skirt with a tanktop – cardigan combo and heels. I missed my heels when I was pregnant so I could not resist. Needless to say, my legs and feet hurt like the dickens that night….LOL.

  22. Laziza on May 5th, 2008 8:50 am

    I’m going to face this exact same dilemma in a few months. If it was me, I WOULD go with one of those new dresses – they looked adorable on Flickr, and I think you’ll enjoy the chance to dress up a little. I’d just throw a sweater or cardigan on top and call it good. Good luck!

  23. kalisa on May 5th, 2008 8:53 am

    your not-quite-the-right-season-yet dresses can usually be made to work with a cute cardigan sweater or jean jacket.

  24. Erin on May 5th, 2008 9:37 am

    I’m not sure exactly what the Seattle weather is like, but when it’s not quite warm enough for my summer dresses, I like to add a cardigan. Cute, warm, and totally work-appropriate.

  25. Jennifer on May 5th, 2008 9:45 am

    Hope you have a great first day back! I’m not much for fashion advice but my standard spring/summer outfit is a skirt with a t-shirt, flip-flops or flats and a jean jacket. I’m all for comfort!

    I can’t believe JB did not take our awesome man-fashion advice! WTF is his problem?

  26. MB on May 5th, 2008 10:15 am

    I didn’t read in time to add my musical two cents on the last post so I hope you don’t mind this Architecture in Helsinki recommendation. They’re a neat band and definitely upbeat. I’m with Jennifer’s suggestion for what to wear tomorrow. I need to find a jean jacket myself….

  27. victoria on May 5th, 2008 10:18 am

    Oh, go ahead & get dressed up. You’re entitled. (And they say that they whole “I don’t deserve to dress nicely because my body isn’t where it should be” mentality will tend to defeat weight loss/toning efforts.)

  28. kristylynne on May 5th, 2008 12:07 pm

    I would vote for a khaki pants/buttondown shirt combo, if you have any such thing.

    Also, my dad wears nerdy white socks with his sandals also. He turns 70 this year, so I figure he can wear whatever the hell he wants. Maybe your hubby is just getting an early start on geezerhood.

  29. emily on May 5th, 2008 2:41 pm

    sorry, no advice. just reading comments to share the advice given to you.

    sorry for stealing.


  30. Marie Green on May 5th, 2008 3:15 pm

    How about dressy jeans and a flattering shirt? Oh, yeah, I don’t OWN a flattering shirt… but maybe you do??? G.A.H. That’s all I have to say about wardrobe issues.

    Also????? My husband? And blue jean shopping? I should have had my camera with me to DOCUMENT the hideous garments that he thought were jeans but were actually…. MOM jeans, for men? I didn’t know they made such things, but my husband found them NO PROBLEM, and then wanted to buy them. I had to shove him into the deserted corner of the dressing room and slip him the tongue in order to distract him from purchasing those jeans.

  31. honeybecke on May 5th, 2008 3:27 pm

    Well, either you figured out a good outfit today or you are at work nekkid. Now THAT would be a memorable first day back at work.
    Hope your first day back at work has brought you lots of adult conversation and some good new dirrty jokes. Share them with us, won’t you?

  32. Kristin C. on May 5th, 2008 4:03 pm

    We are obsessed with Intervention over here and are anxiously awaiting some episodes that we haven’t seen.

    I liked Swistle’s suggestion: skirt with nice t-shirt and a cute necklace. It seems like you’ve got lots of cute shoes to choose from, so that shouldn’t be an issue.

    Also, tell JB enough with the white sock insanity. SERIOUSLY.

  33. Lesley on May 5th, 2008 5:49 pm

    Go for comfort. Some of the dresses you posted on Flickr would be smart comfortable choices. Pair any with a cardigan and they’d be just right for May.

  34. donna on May 5th, 2008 6:03 pm

    I can’t handle intervention, I just get really depressed and can’t hang.
    Anything you wear to work will be fine cuz they will be so happy to see you!
    And JB is a guy, he’s supposed to look dorky.

  35. anonymous on May 5th, 2008 7:37 pm

    So how was your first day back? Hope it was great!

  36. deanna on May 5th, 2008 9:03 pm

    what happened to those super cute dresses you bought from ross dress for less!? they looked both comfy and fab. [sidenote: is that really its name? as an east coaster my knowledge of this chain is limited to your mentions and those of ross the intern on leno.]

    i also offer a thanks for those kate nash recommendations. i was unfamiliar, but thanks to my fellow fabulous sundry readers, i now love.

    have a FABULOUS first day back and work. [and if you already had it, and i missed it…oops, i hope it was great!]

  37. Kristi on May 6th, 2008 12:25 am

    I am anxiously awaiting further advice in the HIDEOUS SOCK department as I think JB and my husband are brothers from different mothers. I could photoshop a pic of JB (in any given outfit) and insert my husband’s face and his family would not know the difference.

    He also mows the (front!) lawn in black dress socks and holey slippers – so I’m obviously no help. Off to throw those away right now while I’m thinking about it! Oooooo….there’s an idea – the garbage!

  38. Ang on May 6th, 2008 6:35 am

    The socks aren’t so bad. I mean, it’s not like they’re Black Dress Socks with camo shorts. Right?

  39. Sam on May 6th, 2008 6:37 am

    No good advice on what to wear, but I am here to admit my addiction – yes, so wrong to use in this context – to Intervention. I really do love it. The pictures of happy little kids always make me tear up, usually while I’m nursing my own sweet innocent babe! I’m always rather relieved when they bring in Jeff, because he ALWAYS seems to get the person to treatment, even when there is all this crazy family wailing and gnashing their teeth.

    Good luck on your first week back to work! I know it’s hard.

  40. Annie on May 6th, 2008 6:50 am

    Hang some panty-hose in his closet and tell him they’re for when he needs to steal some diapers.

  41. MKB on May 6th, 2008 7:03 am

    I believe in approaching man wordrobe manipulation with a little reverse psychology and positive reinforcement. First, act like you don’t care and cease laughing openly at his shameless dorkiness. Then, every time he wears something correcting a Keens/Socks habit, tell him he’s smokin’ hot and jump his bones. Before you know it, he’ll be a changed man.

  42. Allison on May 7th, 2008 10:19 pm

    Hey **no name**, I think Sundry works for the company that owns iTunes, so using Limewire would be a no-no!

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