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May
19
• My kids are both good sleepers. I suppose I shouldn’t even say that in print or out loud or even think it without immediately pounding my fist bloody on the nearest block of wood, but there it is. Dylan goes down every night at 8 PM like clockwork now, and doesn’t even require the endless rocking/bassinet-jiggling/exhausted humming his brother did. Also, Riley — the world’s most stubborn, willful, obstinate toddler — seems to believe he’s not allowed out of his bed when we’re not in the room, and for some reason OBEYS this mysterious never-communicated (but much appreciated) edict, going so far as to wail piteously if he drops a toy onto the floor because AIIIEEEE, he cannot leave the confines of his mattress. Can I get a high five on that one? Even though we technically had nothing to do with this admirable behavior whatsoever? MAH DICK IS LONG.
• Vomited soy formula, while not exactly something I would dab on my wrists and behind my ears, smells about a thousand times less horrific than the milk variety. Still: baby puke, why is there so much of it again? He gags on his fingers, he randomly horfs for no particular reason, he spews in the dead of night. While all the while smiling, eating, cooing, and generally acting like it’s no big deal, but DUDE: BIG DEAL. Big, gross, disgusting DEAL. We’re off to the pediatrician today to see if there’s anything we can do, other than Scotchgard the entire house.
• I was playing with Riley in the backyard yesterday and I accidentally sent his ball flying over the fence and across the street. While Riley watched his ball sail out of sight, he turned to me and said — with perfect enunciation, mind you — “Oh, shit!”
Is it wrong that my first reaction was one of pride? Yes? Oh, well then I was totally upset. Downright scandalized.
• The weather was gorgeous this weekend, a perfect watermelon-slice of summer, and I’ve got the sunburn to prove it. We had a pretty good time hanging around in our yard with the kids, but I think both JB and I felt the crunch of parenting two small children. We couldn’t really just up and go for a long hike, or drive to the beach without a level of strategic planning not conducive to relaxing sunny afternoons, or even just sit in an Adirondack chair for more than five consecutive minutes without having to tend to someone’s cry-hole, or fetch more juice, or play the brain-numbing “FIND RIWWY” game (where Riley “hides” in plain view and you must act like a blind moron, peering around vaguely and wondering out loud where on earth Riley got off to).
I told JB that I think that the infant/toddler combo has to be one of the hardest stages of parenting we’ll go through, until of course they are both sneaking out at night and getting DWIs and ending up in juvie. I mean, I know we’ve got plenty of challenges ahead, but it seems to me that while Riley’s pain-in-the-butt factor has certainly skyrocketed in some ways, many things are so much easier now that he’s a pint-sized person and not a squirmy (adorable!) helpless grub.
Those of you with experience in such things, what say you? Baby/toddler siblings = harder than when they’re both older? Or, god help me, easier?
Comments
63 Responses to “Parenthood lately, bullet-style”
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I also write here:
Haha… My sister has a 3 year old and is going to have a new baby at the end of June. So this is what she has to look forward to. At least there are five aunties to help out…
Easier.
But, alas, the ones I speak of are not mine.
But, I’ve been told. Many times.
Except now that the youngest is peeing on everything.
On purpose!
Heh
Baby/toddler is the worst. Well, I guess I’m only up to first-grader/third-grader now, so I don’t have LONG TERM projections.
I keep telling my husband, it will get easier when they are like, 3 and 4. As opposed to our house-bound lifestyle with 1 and 2 year olds. I am only hoping I am right, if not, DON’T TELL ME!
Baby/Toddler is the worst and I have 4 teenagers and an elemenary schooler. I still have nightmares about those early days.
Oh, and they can get up in the middle of the night, puke and go right back to sleep and may remember to tell you in the morning that it happened while you slept so blissfully unaware.
I have a 19- and a 16-year old. ENJOY the infant/toddler combo. The teen/teen combo trumps all else!!
I can vividly remember the first time I heard my niece swear (a powerful, guttural DAMMIT, if you must know) and I laughed so hard, I almost popped a sphincter.
Not having any children of my own, I didn’t know that was apparently the absolute worst reaction I could have had, and she went on saying DAMMIT! repeatedly because my laughter had condoned her obscenity. My sister definitely didn’t appreciate it.
That said, it still ranks up on my top 5 list of funniest moments ever.
I have a 19- and a 17-year old. ENJOY the infant/toddler combo. The teen/teen combo trumps all else!!
What the hell happened there. I corrected a typo and suddenly I’m a blithering repetitive idiot? SEE? That’s because I have TWO TEENAGERS.
Hey, I giggle with delight when my two year old and 3 year old respond to every crisis (in front of my judgmental mother, no less) with a “dammit!” *giggle*
My boys are 27 months apart. I’m still waiting for it to get easier. They are 5 and 7 now. The challenges never go away, only morph into something else.
Wait? Did I just give you the answer you don’t want to hear?
OF COURSE it gets easier. In two years you’ll be walking on easy street wondering how you ever thought parenting was hard.
Was that better?
Yes. Infant + Toddler = extremely difficult. Especially when you want to be driving around with the top down with your husband and then, you know, parking. Wink.
Mine are 16 months apart and that first year with the both of them–oh, shit. Pretty bad. Now they are 4 and 5 and it is much MUCH easier. It’s actually been pretty great for a few years but this year is the best so far. OF course I am dreading the teenage years, as Paula reminded me, but that’s a long way off. I’m just going to stick my head in the sand and enjoy what I’ve got now!
No comment on the toddler/baby thing - not there yet but my toddler will be mostly a preschooler/kindergarten kid by the time this baby is born so I am hoping… ah who the hell am I kidding… YIKES!
The baby barf thing is amazing. Three years later I am amazed at my kid’s ability to throw up the entire contents of his stomach soaking everything and one in his way and still giggle, kick his feet and look innocently about like NOTHING happened, wha!!??!?
“Oh shit”… I would not have been able to keep a straight face. My son does this thing when his father is mad and punishing him, he will look at me and make a face and I can hardly control myself… I burst out laughing which does not help the situation. Do these kids have our numbers or what??!?!
It’s harder because you have to do so much for both of them that you find yourself wishing that they both could walk, talk, feed themselves, not shit in their pants, etc. Then that day comes and you find yourself presented with a whole new set of challenges: not peeing in the front yard in full view of the neighbors (or my personal fave, not peeing on the trees on the playground DURING RECESS), scrubbing various stains off the walls (Food? Marker? Generic bodily fluid?). The next stage (at least for me and my two hellions) was when they learned to beat the living crap out of each other. Nothing says “Sweet Jesus!” like having your kids have a Holy Spirit Smackdown in the middle of a sermon (or any other public place where it’s nice and quiet right when The Captain tells Jr he can “stuff it up his buttcrack”).
Oh my gosh, kids are SO MUCH EASIER when they’re out of the preschool/toddler/infant stage. I think the golden era is from about 5 to 12ish, when they’re old enough that you don’t have to be hopping up and down after them every three seconds and yet they haven’t fully engaged the hormonal angry eye-rolling. Seriously, I have forgotten what it was even like to have to go hide out in the laundry room to be able to have five minutes to myself. (Mine are 8 and 12.)
I mean, enjoy the preschool stage while it lasts and all, because frankly, they’re never that cute again once they’re past 6 or so, but then they’re much more livable (and knowable as human beings, which is awesome) to make up for it.
Mine are 17 months apart, and I barely remember the infant/toddler years. It was all such a blur of puke, poop, and exhaustion. Now that they’re 7 and 8, we’re on easy street.
And I guess I need to rest up for the teen years - GOD HELP ME.
It does not get easier - the problems are just different. Every stage seems important so you never really feel like the challenges-at-the-moment are inconsequential. I have a near 20 year old and a near 17 year old and I still don’t feel “done” with parenting. Sometimes I wish for the good old days when my child’s lapse in judgment didn’t have the potential of, say, incarceration. But then I remember that during those younger years, you feel like you’re “forming” them so I guess in my opinion, it never gets easier.
Riley … seems to believe he’s not allowed out of his bed when we’re not in the room, and for some reason OBEYS this mysterious never-communicated (but much appreciated) edict
Oh my goodness, I thought Orion was the only one! :D
So, so hard. So hard that I waited almost six years to have my third, because I refused to do baby/toddler at the same time again.
teen years….yikes……nothing prepares you for it!!!
Lets see..harder because of the pain in the ass factor of never being able to go anywhere with them without bringing the entire house with you and then….easier because when they are older the sibling fighting gives parenting a whole new dimension! You’ll see.
I can’t say whether it gets easier (I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old) but from observation, it seems like the early years are PHYSICALLY exhausting for parents and as the children get older, parenting becomes more MENTALLY exhausting. So, it gets easier in one way but harder in another. I’m a bit older so the physical part really kicks my butt. Sometimes I wish I had had kids earlier but then I think of the person I was in my mid-20’s and that would be been a scary prospect!!
Can’t answer your question since I’m in your shoes right about now, though my oldest is a little older than Riley. But believe me, I’ll be taking notes.
My son’s first cussing incident was when he was two, and he couldn’t get an interlocking train to click together. He muttered, “Well, goddammit!” Yeah. Short of the F Bomb, I don’t know what worse word he could have said. Shamefully, I laughed until I cried, and then told him not to do it again.
Now, I still curse like a sailor, especially while driving, and HE’S the one telling ME not to swear. Though if I get creative, he’s more likely to ask, “Mama, what’s a dick miner?” instead of saying, “Stop saying that, Mama. That’s not nice!”
Not there yet, but practically all my cousins have been there and the ones with boys say easier the older they get, girls opposite. Glad I have boys.
And on the sleep thing…SO.NOT.FUCKING.FAIR.
Not always easier and not always harder, just different issues at different ages. I have a 21 y/o, 14 y/o and a 6.5 y/o (boys) and each age presents it’s own set of problems and you know the big fat lie people try and tell you, the one that goes: oh but when they’re not babies anymore at least you can reason with them? total bullshit, you cannot reason with a 14 year old. But you can achieve a level of self sufficiency, at least there’s that.
i have infant triplets and while i’m terrified of their impending toddlerhood, i can’t help but think this stage is much easier for me than for those with an infant and a toddler. at least mine aren’t mobile!
Swearing might not be cool but hey, at least he used the word APPROPRIATELY :) I think that merits some sort of pride.
I don’t think it ever gets easier, it just gets different.
I’m all sentimental and shit, but there’s a song by Trace Adkins not that you actually listen to country that says: Youre gonna miss this, your gonna want this back your gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast, these were some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but your gonna miss this.
Right now things sucks with a 3 and 5 year old, but they sucked with an 8 month old and a 3 year old, like they sucked with a 2 year old and a newborn. I only know this because I wrote about the suckiness…looking back I keep thinking, “oh but Dylan was such an easy baby, and Alex loved his brother then.” Yeah, I miss it.
Oh, please try to avoid sunburns! Fair-skinned rosacea-prone folks can get nasty sun damage. I just had a “photofacial” last week to reverse some of the effects of accumulated sun damage on my face (broken capillaries, uneven pigmentation) and Oh My God, that thing was painful. Kind of like being tasered on your face. I now wish I’d spent my entire life slathered in SPF 1,000,000 from head to toe. Rickets is a small price to pay for lovely skin.
Um, Scotchguard? Some nasty chemicals in that stuff.
I don’t comment much but I had to chime in on this one. I enjoy reading your no-nonsense writing and attitude style, by the way!
Anyhoo, my first was 17 months when the 2nd one was born; both boys. The one is 3 years now and the younger is 20 months. The first year was the roughest, for sure, so far. Of course we are just out of those woods and I’m sure there’s another forest to hike, but ’til then I’m enjoying my two, stubborn, yet adorable toddlers. They are starting to really play together, which actually takes the heat off me to entertain non-stop. Hopefully the playing together part just gets better. ;)
Good luck with all and God bless!
-Stacy
I love that you said “juvie.” I’ve used that expression (”his kids are going to end up in juvie pretty soon”) and people usually don’t know what I’m talking about.
I don’t think yours will end up there. Maybe in the principal’s office now and then (but didn’t we all).
I have a 13 year old girl and a 16 year old boy. The only thing easier about the teenage years is that they can dress and feed themselves and you can leave them home alone. Oh, you can also tell them to get the hell out of your face and they do. Not that I have ever done that…
Easier in many ways, but the full contact fighting because, “He looked at me!” gets on my friggin’ nerves. Two boys, 2 1/2 years apart, but it is absolutely easier. They fight, but they also play together and the older one likes to help out if #2 needs something (or entice him into doing something he knows they’re not supposed to be doing so he can say, “Nicky did it!”)
And by the way….love the pride in Riley’s comment. Ian’s first word was shit (thanks grandma for calling him “little shit” all the time), but it was even better when he started using it correctly!
Hee! My first reaction was pride, too, and the kid isn’t even mine. I don’t even KNOW him. Go Riwwy!
Ha.
Hahaha.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sorry. Really. Hee. I am. But you haven’t even experienced FIGHTING yet. And they are boys, which means it’s far less hair-pulling and far more “Hey, let’s punch you til you bleed (yes, my boys are 4.5 and 6).” And you also have “Hey, let’s try to peel this orange at 5 AM with a KNIFE rather than waking up a parent” and “Hey, let’s jump off the dresser/bunk bed/front porch.”
You will look back on the days when one toddler stayed in his bed and one child stayed where put with great fondness and longing. BELIEVE ME!
Also, hee, thought the same first time a kid cussed. Of course, so much LESS funny when you are getting calls from kindergarten teacher because of said vocabulary. Oy vey.
“MAH DICK IS LONG.” = Love!
I have two boys…exactly 2 years apart. They were AWESOME as toddler/baby. They’ve been actually quite awesome all the way up til now, when they finally realized they can QUESTION YOU!! Question your authority, and the two of them gang up on you!! heh
Other than that, they are still enjoyable, so I’m with you, still fearing the teenage years, cuz ya know, the ball has to drop at some point!!
Your kids are adorable, and I think you probably have a way with them (because of yours and JB’s humor) that will make them really great kids to come!
Well, uh, maybe your kids won’t be anything like you or JB, and will be nice well mannered children and everything will be easy from here on out.
Or maybe shit was only the beginning, and next thing you know they’ll be saying things like “Lookit my head, it’s lopsided BITCH! Suck a dick!”
This is off topic, but Linda you should totally post that picture of Dylan on Parent Dish, those women would lose their shit!! LOL I totally give you an A for creativity:)
My boys are 25 months apart and are now 5 and 3. It’s a great age because I can tell them to go play together while mommy is working or cooking dinner or whatever…and they do! They also occupy themselves in the bath (with me not too far away, of course) and that is so wonderful. What was I thinking getting pregnant now and messing up this great routine I have going?!
Harder in that the other one MOVES! ACK!
Easier in that they entertain each other–even if it is loud, raucous, borderline fighting entertainment but it doesn’t involve YOU! Dylan can be the one finding Riley instead of you!
Harder in that one can’t strap one into a little seat and deal with the other one.
Easier in that both of them can talk to you and tell you what they want/what’s wrong/etc. (that can also be a bad thing…)
Of course, I am not that far ahead of you. Mine are roughly 5 (boy) and 3 (girl). Crap. What have I gotten myself into?
g~
Honey, you’re good parents (sleeping through the night/not leaving bed). Somewhere you instilled the discipline and the proof is in the pudding. Or the bedding. Ha. I was also, in spite of “OH, The Scandal of It All,” quite amused by Riley’s response to the AWOL ball — the first words my French girls learned was “Shit”. I was bursting with pride. Yeah, you want me as a nanny — I KNOW you do. Hang in there — I don’t think you’ll have to worry about dual bail bonds or anything near it — good people beget good kids. Enjoy the ride.
MAH DICK IS LONG! I love how you threw that in there.
I am extra lucky, but I think the teenagers are the best years yet. They are real people with senses of humor and so much fun.
I’m with Stacy. The infant/toddler years definitely sap your strength… they need so much care that you feel like you never sit down, etc. BUT - elementary years, and teen years, also hard. Emotional drama, driving all over, at all hours, sibling rivalry, etc. OH yes, it’s all there waiting for you! We are, however, very much looking forward to your witty, acerbic, fun journaling of your experiences. Riley and Dylan as teens…. can’t you just imagine what they’ll get up to! I think it would be fair to say that it gets even more rewarding. As they get closer and closer to being civilized humans that you would choose to hang out with. e.g., took my 12 year old out on a “date” last night to see Narnia, and he and I had a great evening with great conversation. Enjoy!
K
infant-toddler has NOTHING on older toddler - younger toddler. This shit is for the birds… infant-toddler was a walk in the damn park.
It does get easier… in some ways.
Having gone through it twice I can say that right now you are in the hardest phase. When they are both older than five is when the fun years begin and they last until 14, then you just shoot them. A jury of your peers would not convict you.
My sons first words were Oh Shit. Because it was so cute when he was one we laughed. Because we laughed he still says it two years later. However thats the least of our problems since my mom just taught him to say Fucking. Fucking ball, fucking cup, fucking bug.
Fucking eh, huh?
Also, my first one puked and puked and puked, turned out to be acid reflux and they put him on previced finally when he was two and a half. never puked since. if either of you maybe has acid reflux he might too. I’m just saying, it’s a great suggestion, since cleaning baby vomit is one thing, but cleaning toddler vomit daily is a whole other thing. Seriously, macaroni vomit with koolaid, sooo not fun!
Also your grass is to green, no fair!
Having raised 5 children, I promise you the infant/toddler stage is the hardest. Bar none! And now seeing my kids having children in that stage there is a certain amount of pride that shines forth when I hear them exhusted, weary, tired…because then I smile and know the curse worked..perfectly!
They have children JUST like THEM! Can I get an Amen?
I think it gets a bit easier when they are potty trained and they can feed themselves. Then, you can leave the house without a diaper bag, sippy cups, worries about naptime, etc. Now, my youngest (4 yrs) even buckles himself into his car seat! Yea! However, at this age, they do tend to get a bit of an attitude….!
Not having any kids of my own, I can’t comment on the toddler/infant vs. teen/teen combo (though it sounds like a Street Fighters dealio). However, as long as they realize that the correct past tense form of shit is “shat” and not “shitted” I say they’ve got a good enough head on their shoulders that you don’t need to worry.
I have two daughters: 7 and almost 4. I spaced them apart like that ON PURPOSE. I don’t think I could have stood two children in diapers, only two years apart. As it was, those first couple years were hard. Especially in the winter. Especially since the 4 yr old is the “challenging” tomboy who wants to “beat beat beat” us with her fist. She’s the boy I didn’t have.
That said,it is easier in general the older they get but the challenges are different. It’s so nice to not be physically needed so much (I breastfed both for 18 months). And it’s SO NICE to have two potty trained children - having only one butt to wipe (mine)…I can’t tell you how nice that is. Plus, the older child can fix her own sandwich. Which means I can loll around on the sofa for minutes at a time and read. Until something breaks or a fight breaks out (and, yes, you don’t need boys to have fighting between siblings). The youngest is a hair puller, an eye gouger.
So better in somes ways, worse in others. Either way, you will be happier by 2010.
Every kid is entirely his own person. #1 was by far my easiest child (fast learner), #2 a bit more challening in some ways, easier in others, #3 Nearly 11 years old and still drives me crazy on a regular basis. But I also know he is the one most attached to me. The boys have their similarities, but I never make the mistake of thinking they are all the same. The minute they do, some weird behavior comes back to bite you on the butt!
I have a 14 year old boy and a 13 year old girl. Physically it gets much easier as they get older. Emotionally, in some ways, it’s harder. One, they argue more with each other. Two, they argue with you more, too. Three, for a few years you can reason with them, use logic, but once the teens hit, it’s kinda like having toddlers again. They want what they want and they want it now.
(And I must say I miss the days when they were enthusiastic about everything. Now they act so blase about everything)
My 10 year old daughter, describing a vandalism incident in the boy’s bathroom at school, involving poo, a wall, and some smearing: “Mommy, I don’t know what the fuck they were thinking”.
“Mommy” and “what the fuck” in the same sentence….niiiiiiiice.
I don’t have kids yet, but I work in a hospital with LOTS of kids and talk with LOTS of parents. Some parents seem to feel that things get easier as they get older…for the reasons you find Riley easier at times (i.e. You can actually talk to him!) But then again, others say its harder as they get older. It depends on the kid and what the parents find easier/harder. How’s that for a non-answer for you!
I’m totally giving you an internet High Five on the staying in bed thing. My kid does it too! And I’ve almost said to her ‘Christ, you can get out of bed to get your stuffed animal!’ but I caught myself. Whew.
Oh, and such pride at wee little lips cussing: I had that pride too. You are not alone. :)
I do not have any children of my own but I must say that it is a good thing that your child stays in their bed when you are not there.it must make life easier for you.
I know I need to watch my language because my charming 8 year old girl asked me what a shithead was after a rant about my stepson.
Having not read through all the comments, I’m probably repeated what someone else has already said. But, here goes anyhoo. I wouldn’t say getting out of the baby/toddler stage is easier OR harder, just different. My 5 and 2-year old play really well together…when they want to play together. There are times when all hell breaks loose and I’m at a total loss for what to do. Intervene? Let them work it out? Pretend like there’s a truck outside for a distraction? I will say it is somewhat easier now that they can pretty much get their own snacks. I’m not up and down and in and out of the kitchen all freaking day.
And kudos on the whold nighttime going to bed routine. I wish I knew the secret to getting my night owls to bed at a decent hour!
I can only hope that it gets easier. My three are currently 4, 3 and 20mos…the first two are only 13.5 mos apart, little one is just 21 mos behind.
I was informed while 8.5 mos pg with the little one, that at one point I will actually have all three in high school at the same time. Scary!
Did I mention they are all girls?