Right now we’re in the process of building a house and my biggest fear is that it will end up costing so much more than we anticipate that I’ll have to work more. And the thought terrifies me. I hate how working and being tired changes me as a mom and a wife and I hate having my energies demanded elsewhere, away from my family. I realize I’m probably a throwback to another century, but I’m happy as a clam at home with my kids, cooking, baking, playing with them and being part of (almost) every minute of their lives. My son goes to 1st grade next year and it tears my heart out to know that he’ll be gone for 6+ hours a day. I’ll miss the little buggar.

I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do – be a mom – and I love it. That being said, I realize that it’s not for everyone. If working outside the home makes you a better parent, than I applaud you for recognizing that. No point in staying home and being miserable and resentful – not very effective for raising kids or a good example.

Didn’t realize you’d commented back until now. So I just wanted to drop another line to say that all those things make working the best FOR ME. The fact that I like what I do, that it’s rewarding (FOR ME), that it is healthy (FOR ME) to get out and do something like what I do for work. It was just easier to point to those surface factors in a comment, rather than trying to relay all those complex factors.

The jist is still the same. I feel very similar to what you describe: in a good place. The balance is TOUGH, but it is the best option for me, for us, right now.

Thanks!

BUT, I get to use chainsaws, sledgehammers, power tools of massive destruction, and generally kick and pound the shit out of things that need to be demolished, while still exercising my abilities as a tradesman. The people I work with are fun and easygoing, like in your place of work. And genreally, just everything about the job is cool, except the schoolboy shorts in my uniform.

The point is that I love going to work every day, and I still have to deal with things on a regular basis that piss me off and are uncool. Maybe one day in fuckin shangrila I’ll find a job that doesn’t suck in any way, but normally you don’t get paid for those, you shell out your own money to do those, and they don’t call them jobs, they call them hobbies.

I also was pregnant with my second then (they are only 16 months apart), so I took a couple of months off until the baby was born, then watched one toddler (a playmate for my oldest) just a couple of days a week. At around the same time my husband started his own business, with the goal of us eventually being able to do well on just his income.

When my second was a year old, I went back to work 30 hrs a week teaching special needs preschool. My workplace had a program for “typical kids” too, so I was able to bring them to work with me, know their environment and teachers well, and see them at lunch or breaks. Once care for my two was taken out, I basically made enough to pay our mortgage. But I soon found out I was pregnant with my third, so when she was born in April I quit and have been home ever since.

Now the business is doing well, we have five children and we made some major lifestyle changes, moving to rural Hawaii, buying a mac nut farm, and deciding to homeschool, so I don’t see myself returning to a traditional workplace for many years, if ever.

However, as my littlest gets out of the toddler stage (she’s 22 months) I do see me doing income producing activities with my kids, whether additional farming, homeschooling other kids, or who knows what?