Good lord, it’s been a busy week. I’ve been at work, home with the kids, then back to work again; I’ve been dragging children to pediatrician appointments and changing diapers and writing website copy and answering email and trying to meet freelance obligations and staring at the enormous amounts of housework that needs to be tackled with a stifling sense of despair and throwing together half-assed meals and playing with LEGOs and there has hardly been any time for bad television.

(Oh my god were Cat Deeley’s nipples on half-dollar-sized, oh-so-prominent display in that black dress during last night’s SYTYCD or was it just ME?)

I forced myself to go running tonight and I am pleased to report I am getting marginally better at it. Instead of stopping every three minutes in order to walk, wheeze, and fight back the urge to projectile vomit, I only have to slow down a couple times during my outing. I have no idea how far I’m going, but it takes me about 40 minutes to complete the loop, including warmup. I am moving at a very slow pace as evidenced by my experimental trotting on a treadmill at the gym recently (I had it in my head that a 10-minute mile is practically standing still, and hell, maybe it is, but running with the machine at that setting was PLENTY BRISK), and I am surely not prepared to take on anything with the letter K at the end of it, but incremental improvements are being made.

I need to find some better running gear, though, because things that work just fine for regular gym activities or DVD workouts or whatever seem fraught with challenges once I’m engaged in the violently jiggly act of running. My shorts somehow fall down my hips and cram themselves up my ass at the same time, my underwear creeps around to all sorts of problematic areas, my iPod cord works itself loose from my shirt and flies around my face, my sports bra rides up, and individual hairs (ah, from my head) lay themselves firmly across the surfaces of my eyeballs. Annoyances, all of them, and it makes the act of deliberately torturing yourself for the sake of physical fitness all the more, well, tortuous.

While I was puffing along, batting wildly at my shorts/underwear/bra/iPod/hair/etc, a seedy-looking guy drove past me and peered out the open window of his truck to take a careful look, and I actually saw him completely dismiss me as unworthy of one solitary leer. It made me realize — and this is kind of goofy to admit and is going to sound like I am fishing for compliments and you will just have to believe me when I say I’m not — but it made me realize that it’s been, um, FOREVER since I’ve seen a guy Check Me Out. Like, hey there’s a marginally hot chick over there, I think I’ll rudely stare her down for a second as I go by. Okay, I’m not saying I MISS it, exactly, but it does make a person wonder just how matronly and frumpy they have become, you know what I mean?

(JB is going to read this and be all, what do you care about other guys checking you out when I have SO MUCH BEEF JERKY FOR YOU, and listen, it’s not about that, it’s about feeling a little like any mojo I had left got sealed up in a wet, smelly diaper bag and tossed to the curb.)

Anyway, I need to get back to my Regularly Scheduled Craziness (blogs to write! Laundry to ignore! SYTYCD results to watch!), but I’ll leave you with a little Thursday joyousness:

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Comments

71 Responses to “Flyby”

  1. Dianna on July 25th, 2008 8:55 am

    I feel the same exact way when I run. I wear the yoga capri deals and the tops are falling down and the back is going up my ass. How does that work? I feel your pain, really.

  2. -R- on July 25th, 2008 9:21 am

    I am almost 26 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I have to admit that I am freaked out about having a boy. I never had a brother or boy cousins. I know nothing about boys. But seeing your adorable pictures of your sons makes me feel excited to have a boy.

    Also, a ten minute mile sounds fast to me!

  3. Party on July 25th, 2008 9:56 am

    Holy Cuteness Batman!

  4. Her Ladyship on July 25th, 2008 10:29 am

    Can I second (or third, whatever’s appropriate) the suggestion for the Enell sports bra? I have not bought into the cult of Oprah on most things, but DAYYUM the girls don’t move at all in them. Makes running so much easier.

    I’m not going to embarrass myself and out how “fast” I’ve been running my mile. Let’s just say it’s above a walking pace….barely. Ten minutes doesn’t sound that bad at all.

  5. Lauren on July 25th, 2008 10:39 am

    Underwear while running is EVIL, pretty much a guaranteed wedgie. Tri shorts are good, as are most running shorts that have a built in liner. This is a great local (for you) running store – http://www.everydayathlete.us, in the Kirkland/Juanita area. Very laid back and helpful. I loves them. I’ve just started up running again after having a kidlet, now that he’s big enough to enjoy the jogging stroller. I need something hanging over my head, so I think I’m going to sign up for the Seattle Half-marathon.

  6. lisa on July 25th, 2008 10:55 am

    oh man, are you going to tell me you don’t photoshop in that adorable rosy blush on his cheeks and sparkle in his eye? jeez, he’s like a little kewpie doll how do you stand the cuteness!?

    Also, I’ve seen the bikini shots and you are smokin’ woman! It’s unexplainable except in my own experience it goes in phases – some days you can go to the grocery store in your yoga pants and your hair in a greasy pony tail and have to fight them off and some days no matter how high your heels are or perfect your make up is – nothing.

  7. SarahO on July 25th, 2008 11:18 am

    I understand the need to feel like you still have the mojo.

    Seriously though, that pic of Dylan? He’s totally checking you out. AND he’s a cutie!

  8. JennyM on July 25th, 2008 11:26 am

    I’m sure by this point you’re completely glazed over with recommendations, but I run with my nano strapped to by bicep and the cord to the earbuds coming up from behind my head instead of in front. Oh, and I pull my hair back in a ponytail and I have some cheapy thin plastic headbands, and I use one of those to scrape back the bangs and side bits that don’t fit into the ponytail. Makes me look like a gorgon, but whatevs.

  9. Carrie on July 25th, 2008 11:37 am

    If you aren’t getting checked out when you wear that bikini, then I think you might be in the wrong section of town.

  10. Victoria on July 25th, 2008 12:53 pm

    I have no idea what I was going to say because that photo cuted all my brains out of me!

  11. Katherine on July 25th, 2008 1:33 pm

    Okay I haven’t read all the comments so someone may have already made this point but it bears repeating: the PNW is the land of guys-who-have-had-their-check-her-out-bone removed. You want a nice appreciative check-out? Go to Chicago, or better yet New York. One could be wearing sack-cloth over one’s not too shapely body and a bag over one’s head and still get a decent visual “hey baby” there. I grew up here and have spent most of my life here but have traveled enough to have seen the difference. It’s not you. It’s not any of us women over the age of 16. It’s the men around here. They need to STEP UP.

  12. Valria on July 25th, 2008 3:03 pm

    Holy Cow I’ve had the same week, well minus the pediatrician appointments, diapers, writing website copy and trying to meet freelance obligations Oh and playing with LEGOs. But otherwise yea…NO. Okay. Well I think its something in the air.

  13. Heather B. on July 25th, 2008 3:33 pm

    I actually enjoy doing things that have the letter K at the end. I am slow as hell but there’s something about the adrenaline while completing it and the sense of accomplishment at the end. And you’ve seen me, I do not look like a runner in the least but still I get some sort of crazy ass joy out of it.

  14. Lesley on July 25th, 2008 5:44 pm

    Katherine, your comment reminds me of a story my sister told me during the time she lived in Manhattan. She’d just returned from a 3-week trip to Boston and was walking to work one morning when she saw an attractive woman crossing on a crosswalk. A man [also in the crosswalk] got down on both knees, threw his arms to the side, palms up and facing out like a cop directing traffic, and shouted “STOP! A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IS CROSSING THE STREET. YOU MUST STOP!”

    Sister said at that moment she looked heavenward and said “Yep! I’m definitely back in New Yawk.”

  15. sooboo on July 25th, 2008 7:34 pm

    You most likely don’t notice guys checking you out because you are too busy living your very busy life. Or you are with your family. In my experience, husbands and kids are real cockblockers.

  16. Jolie on July 26th, 2008 10:31 am

    Also, I forgot to add this when I was telling you about the Girl Talk album that’s so good to run/work out to?

    http://74.124.198.47/illegal-art.net/

    that link is where you name your own price to download the album. Like. 1 cent. 25 cents. 0 dollars. whatever you please. Holla!

  17. Lele on July 26th, 2008 12:51 pm

    Probably one of the cutest babies I have ever seen!

  18. Briana on July 26th, 2008 1:06 pm

    Check out Title IX sports at Greenlake for appropriate running gear. They rate their bras with anti bounce criteria. I’m not one to run unless being chased, but have heard good things about their gear. Good luck.

  19. Jem on July 27th, 2008 9:29 am

    I know what you mean about the “checking out” thing. I was never thin, but ever since I’ve gained a HEAP of weight, nothing. I once lost a fair bit of it, and suddenly, ALL THE TIME. Now I’ve gained it back AGAIN, nothing. It no longer worries me because I know what I have to do in order to get it back (um, stop eating) but it is a little bewildering to think I’m no longer even worth a second glance!

  20. wwbd on July 28th, 2008 2:41 pm

    Cutest. Baby. Ever!

    My friends and I have decided to sign up for a 1/2 marathon, and we aren’t runners at all! We’ve been trying to figure out the clothing issue, too. I did go to Title 9 and laid down a crap load of $ on some great stuff, I love their sports bras, and tanks. They also have a no questions asked return whenever you want policy, so you can take an item for a spin and return it if it doesn’t work out for you. As for the hair thing, I wear a baseball cap. There are some made for running that don’t make your head too hot and it has the added advantage for me (a crazy massive sweater) of keeping sweat out of my eyes.

  21. andar909 on August 10th, 2008 3:35 pm

    hi, andar here, i just read your post. i like very much. agree to you, sir.

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