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Aug
4
Sometimes I think I’m getting fairly seasoned at this whole parenthood business, especially when my toddler breaks out in evil red spots and I’m all, oh, meh, that’s just roseola, been there done that. Yet as soon as I start feeling my sea legs, inevitably there’s some rugrat-related-brain-bender that reminds me I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
Problem A: Riley has been extremely cranky lately. I’ve been giving him somewhat of a free pass for being sick, but he seems to be all better now and yet we’re firmly mired in Emotional Location: ASSHOLE. I tell myself to be consistent in how I react to Exxxtreme Whining and Various Tantrumy Fits, but I’ve been failing dramatically: first offering support, then informing him of my disinterest in his choice of communication, eventually ignoring altogether, then finding myself snapping at him about how he needs to STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I WILL TAKE AWAY HIS BLANKIE and so on, until I feel 128% Mommy Dearest about the whole thing and guilt drives me to hover over him issuing forth such platitudes as “You know Mommy loves you so, so much, right?” and “Mommy just wants you to be happy” - which, oh my god, am I sending him on some fast-tracked basket to Therapyville?
Problem B: Dylan, at 6 months old, has the following sleep schedule: goes down around 7:30 PM, sleeps until 11 PM when JB feeds him, then sleeps again until . . . oh, around 3 AM. At which point he starts grousing, and although every night I tell myself I’m going to let him fuss I lie there in my bed feeling exactly like when I was pregnant and had to pee: get up now and get it over with? Or lie here and hope for the unlikely event it will go away?
I always choose to get up and get it over with: his wee-hour feedings are so fast and easy (bottle, quick diaper change, and back to bed) that it’s preferable over lying there gritting my teeth and hoping he goes back to sleep on his own. But, we are at SIX MONTHS NOW, and lord almighty I would like to sleep through the night again.
So, smart peoples, do you have any advice to share?
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I think Riley’s issue might be the onset of turning 3. My friends have told me bad things about boys turning 3 and I am frightened!
I have noticed the whine factor and tantrums have been ramping up lately as well. There must be some kind of 3 year old brat switch installed in these kids?
as for the baby. Wish I could help, but mine is 11 months and still does not sleep through the night. I have forgotten what sleep is like and I am very bitter about it!
If you’re going to do sleep training, do it now - it’s way harder after six months. We tried three kinds before we finally used Ferber and I wish we’d just gone there originally. Three nights and it was over.
oh lord. i WISH i had some advice for you! i don’t even remember how i dealt with my boy when he was that age. although, i’m having a similar problem with him now that he’s 16. How much is his bi-polar disorder, and how much is him being a teenager? i swing wildly from trying to be loving and supportive, to walking away because i’m so frustrated, and ranting like a lunatic because i’ve just Had Enough, then i get terrified that i’ve emotionally scarred him, and go back to being loving and supportive. i’m pretty sure i’ve totally stunted him emotionally at this point..but i honest-to-God don’t know what else to do.
sorry…i’m really not much help. :(
I don’t in any way claim to have this mommy thing down, but I did cut out my son’s night feedings around 4-5 months by increasing his bottles slightly over the day, sometimes even giving him an extra 2 oz. before bed. I don’t know if that’s “doctor-recommended” or not, but I wasn’t over-feeding him and I got a sound 6 or so hours (after his 11-12 feeding) sleep. Also, I had started cereal then, so that helped him stave off hunger during the night hours. Have you started Dylan on cereal yet? It might be something to think about. Once my son’s bottles were up to 5 or so ounces a piece, he skipped that late night feeding altogether and slept through the entire night. Good luck.
This book by Weissbluth saved my sanity, it’s Ferberish but with lots of info about sleep that helped me better understand my child. I’m now the nutbar that gives this as a shower present. who needs more onesies anyway, a night of sleep would be better!
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0345486455/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217908691&sr=8-1
Dylan = growth spurt
Riley = approaching the “all whine, all the time” years between 3 and 6. If you find anything that makes it GO AWAY please for the love of baby Jesus, share it!
Sleep is highly overrated. Mine, for some reason, didn’t sleep throught the night until they were almost a year old. I always want to kill the parents who said their kids slept through the night since birth.
I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but my son went through a really difficult, whiny, cranky period when he was three. Seriously, nothing made him happy and it was very hard to communicate with him without losing my cool. I had to really work at being consistent and just letting him be whatever he needed to be. I found three way, WAY more difficult than two. I would take a boatload of two year olds over one three year old. He just turned four and it has been better for a few months.
As for the sleeping through the night, I have no idea. I finally night-weaned my son at 9 months, but even after that it took a long time for him to sleep through the night without waking. I still have to get up with him once or twice during the week…
Forgot to mention, for me the best way to handle the whine child was to send them to their room. I told them they could whine, cry, fuss, whatever they want, just as long as I couldn’t hear them. Worked for me. My wife on the other hand would try to ‘reason’ with them.
*way too long of a comment, sorry!*
Oh man, the whining! well, here’s what works for us…
when my 2.5 year old whines and it gets to the point of ridiculousness i tell him once more to please stop whining or i will take him into his time out. if he whines after i tell him this then (and this takes discipline on MY part) i pick him up and take him into his time out upstairs. if he whines more or starts yelling or crying i tell him i will not come and get him until he is quiet. sometimes it takes awhile and i start to feel guilty as i watch the minutes tick by and he’s still going at it…but i just tell myself to hold strong and sometimes, if he is REALLY pissed i go and remind him that i will be glad to come back to talk to him and take him out of time out when he stops carrying on. usually it’s pretty quick after that that he finishes up with his nonsense. then we have a talk about why he was in time out and i make him tell me why and then he has to say sorry for his whining and then i ask him to use his words to tell me what he needed in the first place, or what was wrong why the heck was he whining. if he doesn’t have this conversation with me then he doesn’t get out of time out. god, reading this makes me feel like a mean mommy! but whatevs, this is what works for us and it does keep his whining at bay…most of the time. and he knows (mostly) that whining isn’t worth it.
As for dylan crying in the night for his feeding. gah, jeez this is a hard one. my little one just turned 1 yr and up until two weeks ago we STILL got up with him when he cried, to rock him and give him some milk. such suckers, huh? so we had his 1 yr well baby two weeks ago and we discussed the waking up issue with his doctor and let him know that it’s not like we hadn’t tried (many, many times) to let him ‘cry it out’ sometimes for more than an hour at a time..and he’d get so worked up that he would throw up and it was horrible. course we would go in every 20 minutes to console him but shit, that just made his all the more pissed off. SO his doctor told us that he is one of the more resistant babies and that the only thing we could do was to kiss him goodnight after his bedtime routine and tell him that we would see him in the morning (at LEAST 6AM!)i was a little hesitant with this and said but….he’ll make himself throw up! and the doctor said, that’s OK. so, i am glad to report that it did work- after a week of hell.
i don’t know if you want to do this with a 6 month old or a 1 yr old. i can honestly say i couldn’t have done it with my 6 month old cause i am such a sap. but by the time he got to 1 yr i was like, oh heck no this waking up is nuts and it’s got to stop.
good luck on both kiddos! at least you know there are so many of us going crazy out here with the same damn deals.
No advice, but only had to commiserate with poor JB being stuck in Chicago. Been in that airport for 28 hours too many and I have to ask again: why did they put an airport hub in an area of the country that is prone to bad weather ALL YEAR LONG!?!?
I used to tell “my kid” that it was time out and the rule was he could do whatever he wanted in his room with the door closed, provided he didn’t destroy the place. If he wanted to whine, cry, stomp his little feet, pound his pillow, swear at his trucks, he was welcome to. But he couldn’t come out until he got it out of his system. He’d usually quickly grow bored with his bad mood and come out and it was forgotten. No grudges, no talks from me unless he wanted to talk about something. The rule was also that I couldn’t look into his room during time out. That was fine by me!
If I was out with him somewhere and it started, I’d sit him down, look him straight in the eye and tell him that I wanted to help but that he’d have to settle down and talk to me, that I could not understand through the snivels and whining. This usually worked. Usually, sometimes horrifyingly not.
As for Dylan, I have no clue but the extra feeding, full tummy, cereal idea sounds like a good one.
Also, treat yourself, hon, to something wonderful at the end of these days. You deserve it.
your not seriously asking for advice on the whole sleep issue thing are you??? because that is just asking for trouble… haha
so many different schools of thought.
plus are you a CIO person or not?
my views are very very uuuuuhhhhh strict.
I don’t believe in sleep training, I don’t believe in CIO, I believe newborns are meant to need their mothers, I believe newborns need to know their needs will always be met which in turn instills deep self assurance, trust, and esteem. Lets face it between growth spurts, teething, solids, colds, and basic actual growing pains your not going to get much sleep for about a year.
You are hard wired to respond to your baby.
As for your older baby if he has actually done something that needs correcting, like yelling, hitting, etc… then time out. However if he is just whiny and upset I suggest you just sit down with him for 5 minutes and cuddle, talk to him. Talking to him and soothing is not giving in to his tantrums. It may be just what he needs your actual attention. Stop what your doing and tune in, before he is grown up and tunes out.
See… no one is going to like what I have to say lol…. and I know I should of just not commented, but you did ask *wink*
Do you hear Dylan through a baby monitor? Is your bedroom close enough to his that you would hear him crying without it? If so, then I would suggest turning off the baby monitor. That way you will only hear him once he really needs you, rather than when he is just starting to wake up.
Ugh - I do not know the answer to your Riley dilemma as I am in the same damn situation with my almost 3-(next month)year-old daughter. She has been having some awful days lately, and I was attributing it to transition of my husband getting a new job and not working from home anymore and me deciding to stay home full time now, but it’s been a few months already and she should have surely transitioned by now. I think, sadly, that it’s just this age, which makes me think WOE FOR US! There has to be something we can do. Timeouts work *sometimes*. But mostly, the behavior starts back up again right afterward.
I am looking forward to seeing what advice others post. Please send help! ;-)
I second the cereal idea for Dylan. It’s helped tremendously with each of my grandkids….mix in a bit of oatmeal or rice cereal in their bottle, but make sure it can express thru the nipple and not just clog. The extra bulk of the cereal in his tummy at 11 may just help stave off the 3 am hunger pains and he’ll sleep through till 5 or 6.
Second that on turning off the baby monitor too!
As to Riley, I dunno. If they have the language to convey their needs accordingly, and don’t, time outs seem to get their attention…… or threat of a nap. !
I get downright stupid with my daughter (2.5) when she does the whining.
“What’s that? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. I can only hear little girls who ask nicely.”
It irritates her, but it works - she catches on quickly.
If she’s in tantrum mode, she goes to time out until she’s done and ready to apologize. No ifs, ands or buts.
As for the sleep thing, I got nuthin. I keep being told that 4-5 hours at a time IS sleeping through the night. Whatever…
Here’s another vote for cereal. It sounds like your son isn’t sleeping well because he wakes up hungry. You can buy bottle nipples with extra large holes especially made for this purpose. Just mix a little dry baby cereal in the bottle with his milk and warm it up. Experiment with the amount for a couple of nights. It’s “stick to your ribs” sort of thing - he needs something that lasts longer. I understand a lot of these parenting issues and can appreciate your dilemmas. Thanks very much for writing about the situations that cause worry for many young parents. Good luck and God Bless.
Wow!!! Did Gillian follow you over here from the PD website?? Every child is different….some children need much more attention and with some it’s a battle of wills….just a control issue….good luck and I personally think your two boys have a wonderful mother.
Riley - I have no idea but we are in the same position with Gage as he will be 3 in December. I first blamed his new asthma meds, but I think it is realy the age. If he is whining, we ignore him until he talks “normal”. But the tantrums - usually they start by hitting his sister and then we put him in time out. Not sure why if he wants a toy and we say no, he will find his sister and hit her. Anyways, after a couple minutes in time out and if the yelling is still happening - we breathe. May sound silly but we take about 10 deep breaths to relax. Strangly he does it with us and it helps calm him down. Then we talk about it in our normal voices. On the flip side, there are days where I just lose my shit and yell and then I feel bad and start doing the mommy dearest. I feel you!
As for Dylan, we did 3 things around that time for my daughter 1) turned off the monitor and closed the door - we can hear her if she needs us and is not just moaning in her sleep. 2)Upped her food intake during the day which included cereal etc. 3)Tried holding her off between feedings at night with the pacifer. This worked quickly with one of the feedings because I think she was eating more out of habit then hunger. She took to that after 2 nights.
HTH!
Sadly I can’t remember what my son was like at 6 months.
I do remember the 2-3ish all crabby and difficult all the time stage. I used to get soooooo frustrated with him, to the point where I felt I was constantly yelling at him. I then felt awful afterwards. One of my friends told me that he would outgrow it, I was like, ya right. He did outgrow it,he is 6 now and I don’t remember the exact age when he calmed down, but I do remember how difficult he was. I remember changing his diaper and he was writhing around on the floor yelling and trying to kick me in the face the whole time, and the constant hissy fits and not listening.
It does get better.
my boys are 15 and 18 now(a whole different ball game of “give me strength ” on a daily basis)…I do remember 3-4 being really a tough time for boys….difficult, tantrummy,….ugh!….not much advice….is there a padded room you can go to to give yourself a time out!….also both my kids always woke at night…my pediatrician said after 5 months the baby doesn’t need the middle of the night bottle…..he gave me 2 choice….1. change nothing and hope it stops on its own 2. let them cry it out. sounds mean but basically they need to learn o get back to sleep on their own…we did it over a weekend. It is hard, but first night the worst, second night less…3rd night sleeping thru….seriously, and then from then on when they did wake at night I knew it was for another problem(ear infection, what not…good luck with whatever you decide!
I second Melissa - Ferber all the way. We did it for my daughter at 6 mos … it super-sucked for 3 nights, but it’s been blissful ever since.
Umm, yeah - problem #1 is simple - 3 is evil. I had no idea. When my son turned 3 we went through a process where I liked him less on a daily basis. They somehow are teenagers. Not cool.
As for sleeping, I agree with you that it’s usually easier to just get up and get it over with rather than listen to them in the middle of the night. BUT at some point you have to suck it up and let him get over it - some kids just don’t do it on their own. I hate to be one of those people that says, “Oh this book changed my life,” but actually, THIS BOOK CHANGED MY LIFE. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth - the guy is a total hard ass, but it worked worked WORKED for everyone I know.
Is this too preachy and self-righteous?
My advice is to continue clenching the teeth. Everything goes away eventually.
Eli will be a year old in three weeks, and still wakes at least once a night. I do exactly what you do- lie there for about five minutes, thinking miserably, “Just wait, just wait, it’ll pass!” But then if it hasn’t and the noise is escalating, I just hurry in there and nurse him before he’s fully awake and furious, and then he usually goes back to sleep much faster than if I let him get really worked up.
My doctor is pretty strict about her CIO theory- she says after a certain weight (eighteen pounds, I think?) they shouldn’t physically need to eat again and so it’s fine to let him fuss (read: scream) himself back to sleep, as long as I’ve checked that nothing else is wrong with him. And I nod along like a good patient and ask questions like, “So should I SAY anything, or just pat his back and then leave again?”
But reality is a whole nother thing at three AM, huh? And plus I can’t help thinking, “What’s so magical about eighteen pounds? How do you KNOW he’s not hungry?”
I’m not anywhere near the Riley age so no comment there. BUT, my son is now 11 months old and his nighttime schedule was awful until one fateful night when he was 6.5 months and I finally gave into CIO. It’s ok; I can take the flaming comments after this. But you know what? It only took 3 nights and now he sleeps from 8 PM until 6 AM every night, like clockwork. And I’m a whole lot happier and a whole lot more rested.
I’m right there with you on both the whining and baby sleep fronts. One thing I don’t understand is the comments that give people a hard time for complaining about their kids sleeping habits. I’ve read only some of Weissbuth’s Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child but much of what I read makes sense….A well rested family is a happy, healthy family. It’s hard to functtion when you aren’t getting proper rest. Plus Weissbuth has a variety of options for sleep training and it can be done without CIO. I think it depends on the child but under controlled circumstances (and no vomiting) I don’t think 20 mins of crying for three nights is going to do permanent damage. If it helps teach a child to soothe themselves, it is worth it….in my opinion. And in my opinion that is not child abuse. The other thing that I have read in many different books and articles is that children do not naturally know how to fall asleep, parents need to teach them. So I say find the method that works best for your child and your family. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get some sleep. Good luck…let us know what works for you!
Wellllll, wish I had some good advice on the sleep front. HOWEVER, my 7-month-old does almost the exact same thing. My oldest kid slept through the night consistently starting around 5ish months? Maybe? I can’t remember but I KNOW it was sooner than this kid.
I agree with Swistle…This, too, shall pass and something else will come along.
Letting them cry it out worked for us as well as turning off the monitor (didn’t even use it for second baby and she slept through the night right away–I think…)
Three was definitely the sucky age for our son. Good thing his evil was tempered by brilliant bursts of cute otherwise I would have found the nearest fire station.
Of course, we’re only at five right now. My friend used to say that you’d pay someone to take them at three and won’t take anything for them at four.
I HIGHLY recommend “The Baby Whisperer”. It’s not all about letting your baby scream for 10 hours until they fall asleep from being exhausted, but more about how to break habits without making you feel super mean. Both of mine were going 11 hours by 5 and 6 months.
My daughter who will be 4 this month also went through the whiney stage. No advice on that one. Guess it’s just normal, and thank goodness, a phase.
Sometimes, toddlers are just.plain.crabby. I wish there was a “magic-cure-all” for my little man’s attitude!
When he gets particularly whiny, I usually try to lighten the mood, and tell him “Mommy won’t talk to him until I see some smiles.” He usually sits for a moment and looks like he’s thinking very hard about what his next move will be….and MOST days, he winds up with a big toothy grin. I don’t know if it would work with Riley, but it’s helped me out on those days when I really need some peace and quiet! (besides, it’s pretty difficult to whine if you have a silly cheesey grin on your face..)
Grrrrr - it is with great self-restraint and a fervent wish that your blog NOT morph into a PD maelstrom that I am not responding to Gillian.
I totally agree that you should make sure D gets all the food he needs during normal waking hours. In addition - have you tried minimizing his sleep during the day? I know “everyone” says to never wake a sleeping baby - but I’ve always strictly limited daytime naps and it has worked well. My go-to reference for this was “The Contented Little Baby Book” by Gina Ford. At first I hated it’s rigidity, but I have to admit - the results have been fabulous. I wish I had some advice for the R situation, but you have my sympathies! Is it totally horrible to get a little misting squirt-bottle and just kind of spray him when he whines? ;)
I feel your pain with the night wakings, but don’t have much to offer for advice. My daughter went through a hellish time around 6-9 months when she was teething like crazy and just wouldn’t sleep unless I was holding her. Cereal could be a solution. I know we didn’t start solids with her until 7 months. I know it sucks to get up and feed a baby in the middle of the night, but at least it’s just the one time? Good luck!
Age three sucks. My daughter will be four in a few months so I’m hoping her superbrat days are drawing to a close.
I hope Riley isn’t like my daughter and also decides that he no longer needs to nap or sleep through the night.
Is Dylan on solids yet? I haven’t seen you mention it, I don’t think. But maybe if he’s still waking for a 3am feeding, it’s time to introduce those.
I have a 6m baby girl, and she has been sleeping through the night (9p-7a) since we introduced the following (warning, here’s some assvice from a first-timer):
6:30p: Solids - cereal mixed with New Food of the Day (avocado, squash, whatever)
After dinner: bath, OBVIOUSLY, because I cannot seem to keep food out of her hair
After bath: 6oz bottle
Playtime, snuggle, etc.
8:30p: Final 2oz bottle (all she needs to pass out)
9:00p: In her crib, SNORING.
Throughout the night she sometimes wakes and wails a bit - but we just run in, pat her a bit and give her the binky and she’s back out.
Sorry for writing a book - but hopefully something helps. I am really feeling for you - six months of interrupted sleep with two babies has got to be so hard.
All that said, she could stop this beautiful, wonderful routine tomorrow… but God, I hope not.
Good luck & here’s hoping you get some zzz’s soon!
Add my vote to the “whine where you like as long as I can’t hear you” group. Three is a crappy age; fortunately they do get over it. (For our kids, odd years were worse than even years, which was a bit strange.) A little sympathy now and then is OK, but three is a good time to start letting them realize that the universe really doesn’t give a shit about them.
Sorry, don’t have any ideas for Dylan. I’d guess that some slight changes in feeding plus a couple nights of crying it out might work. Our baby problems were a bit different so I can’t really say.
Gabe has been a little asshole lately, too. I’ve wondered if there wasn’t some kind of Pulse (like in Stephen King’s book Cell) through Sesame Street or Dora that’s sent all kids who watched that particular show into a rage where they go after their parents and just turn the chaos and whine up to eleven.
I’ve found the best way to deal with it is consistency. He knows how to behave and he knows when he’s being a good boy and when he’s not. If I send him to time out (more specifically to his room, which is, for some reason, like sending him to the 9th circle of hell to him even though it’s a nice room with a few toys even) every time he pushes me to the point where I want to yell at him, then it stops for awhile. Maybe an hour. Lather, rinse, repeat. He spends more time in time out when he’s acting like that, but I make sure to tell him he’s choosing to get punished by choosing to act like a little dickhead. After a few days of a lot of time out, he starts to clean it up a bit and it’s not so soul-killing to be around him anymore. Often, the root cause is someone at his daycare has been out of sorts too, usually a friend of his, and they’re in cahoots together to take over the world one set of bleeding eardrums at a time.
The sleeping thing? I don’t know what to tell you, except I wonder if he’s going to bed too early? They say you’re supposed to follow sleep cues, like eye rubbing, yawning and such, so if he’s getting sleepy at 7:30, then by all means, put him down to bed. But maybe a later bedtime would help him sleep through the night and further into the morning. I was on a business trip last week, and while I was away, my husband stayed at his parents’ house with the kids (because his parents had to take the kids to daycare in the morning since my husband’s workday begins at 4 am). My mother-in-law was putting Baby Anna (she’s only a month older than Dylan) to sleep around 10 or 11. They said she was sleeping through the night, and into the morning, but holy God, I don’t want to be up til 11 putting her to sleep when I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get to work on time myself. And my husband suggested I do just that. Then I killed him. Actually, I told him that I have a routine with her, that she sleeps around 9 and for the most part doesn’t get up until 6 am. That works perfect for me, and if she has a few nights here and there where she’s up in the middle of the night, I chalk it up to bad dreams, uncomfortable peejays, or maybe teething or a cold if she’s exhibiting symptoms of that.
Sorry for the novel. I can’t say anything concisely, except on twitter.
Ugh, just read through comments - it’s so hard to deal with sleep issues as it is, people. Is it really necessary to heap judgement on top too?
I do agree that, in some cases, babies probably just need their moms & dads - and that’s why we still run in if she wakes to pat her and reassure her we’re still right there for her.
Oh and also - if Dylan doesn’t have one, maybe you could try getting him one of those little 10″x10″ taggy blankets. Maddie LOVES hers - it’s officially her lovey that goes to bed with her each night. She ONLY gets it when she’s about to go to sleep (nap or bedtime) so it’s another thing that she associates with sleepytime. It’s small enough that she can wave it around with total abandon and I’m not worried about her suffocating.
Or if he has another lovey that you could make “bed specific” that could help too.
I have read that the medical studies have shown that cereal in the bottles does not actually help babies sleep longer; that it is an old wives tale.
That being said, if he’s six months old, why not feed him cereal from a bowl/spoon? Perhaps a before bedtime meal really is what he needs if it is indeed a growth spurt.
And I know there are people in all camps on all different issues, but I wish we could be civil to each other and try to understand that there are different perspectives/situations in the world, and we are all just trying to find what works for us. *Sigh.*
My 2.5 year old boy is doing the same thing as Riley, and I am doing the EXACT same thing as you. I snap and then I tell him a hundred times how much I love him and generally feel like crap until he starts being an brat again. It’s really hard. He’s also starting being mean to his little bro (1-year-old). I feel unqualified for this. I just keep saying “Be NICE! Be NICE!” and try to reward good behavior as much as possible.
The sleeping through the night stuff is also tough. Every kid is so different. Both my boys are excellent sleepers now, but neither of them slept more than 6 straight hours until about 9 months old or later. If you feel like he’s really hungry, I’d keep with the feeding. If you feel like he’s just taking an ounce or two and snuggling back to sleep, you could probably try letting him cry it out. Just my 2 cents.
Oh, man. The sleep thing. It’s awful isn’t it? Especially when you are the only one who hears the crying. I don’t know what to tell you since M was 11 months before she went 8 hours without waking. Now at 22 months she’s down for a solid 12 hours+ nightly. Whatever we did to make that happen I can’t tell you. I think it was a combo of her maturing and me caring less and less about getting up and more and more about my own sleep. I remember thinking on one of those foggy middle of the night wake-ups “eh - if she really needs me she’ll start screaming much louder sooner or later”. Not my finest mommy-moment but and honest sleep-deprived thought.
But good god those first 11 months were hell.
On the sleep thing, it would be easy for me to say “just live with it” like I would… but I have a year-long maternity leave so I don’t have to be up bright and early the next morning and I can nap when my baby naps during the day.
I will say though, that I know adults who are light sleepers and adults that wouldn’t be woken up by a bomb going off under the covers, yet we expect all kids to adhere to our idea of what a sleep schedule should be, and I don’t really get that mindset. I’ve said it before but my oldest was over 2 before she slept through the night. What’s new (and miraculous) is that my 2-month-old has slept through the night twice already, the first time when he was only a couple of weeks old. We’re not doing anything different with him, he’s just a better sleeper and I think it’s a nature, not nurture thing, since he was also less active in utero.
So yeah, what I would do is the quick routine and let him go back to sleep. What you should do, however, I have no idea and it’s really not something I can even pretend to help solve. Maybe your kid could easily be trained to sleep through the night. Maybe not. You’re the one who knows him, so, putting aside the fact that you feel you need more sleep, what do you think he needs more, sleep or late-night food?
But if you find a cure for the whines, for the love of all that is holy, please let me know. My 2.5 year old is getting pretty deep into that stage too.
Everyone else, I appreciate the ideas! I am particularly drawn to the idea of a spray bottle for the toddler. : )
My son (3 yrs) is also doing the same thing. Whiny and making unrealistic demands (i.e. “I want candy…puhleeze…I want candy!!!” at 8:15 a.m.) I just try (I said try) to stay calm and if I can’t take it anymore I’ll send him to his room for both our sanities. It’s takes a lot of patience at this age because they are capable of verbalizing their wants and dislikes better than ever.
As for Dylan, I recommend moving him to his own room (if you haven’t already). We did it at 7 months for our second boy and lo and behold he started sleeping through the night! Amen.
No advice, but I, too, am Mommy Dearest with the “just shut up already, kid but I love you oh the guilt!” thing. I should really be putting away therapy money, or at least payoff money, for the future.
My parents had a strict “no whining” rule. We were not permitted to whine/cry/carry on in front of them. As several other posters said, we were allowed to freak out in our rooms (in a non-destructive manner), but we couldn’t complain to mommy or daddy. If we still couldn’t get a handle on ourselves, we “got” to stand in the corner, nose in, for a few minutes of quiet time.
We were also not allowed to stay in our foul mood after “time out” was over. Once we were done, that was it. Time to play nice. They’d also help get us to that point by playing games or something, to help us forget our bad moods.
The “no whining” rule also taught us how to articulate exactly what was wrong and why it bothered us. We were absolutely encouraged to talk to them about problems, concerns, so-and-so-is-hitting-me, that kind of thing…we just couldn’t do it in a tantrum, or a whiny voice, or whatever. Having to explain it actually kept us calmer, too. I don’t think we ever needed the freak out time in our room, since we could instead calmly tell mommy that “sister is taking all of the My Little Ponies and giving them a bath in the toilet.” Ahh, the power of words.
no advice, just had to tell you that your tweets (oh dear god did i just write that) crack my shit up every morning. “Choices.” about dog: brazilliant. thanks have a good one
I wish I had some magical advice for you, but sadly I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. My 3-year old is in a particularly difficult phase right now and my 6-month old has been waking up between 3 and 4 the last few nights after sleeping through for a few weeks. I just keep telling myself that it will pass, and in the meantime eating extra brownies.
I honestly believe that the inherent evilness of 3-year olds is one of the better kept parenting secrets. The combination of continued tantrums, whininess and increased vocabulary is quite the trifecta.
So hang in there. I’m trying to…
I have THE answer for the toddler situation, and it’s a technique that will work for many years to come.
It’s a tiny little paperback book called “1-2-3 Magic.” You can read it in about 20 minutes and it is a proven technique for dealing with tantrums and whining and general terrible-twoiness that I PROMISE YOU will work if you follow it to the letter. It’s one of those things that’s very simple but not always easy but man, it seriously was magic when my kid was your kid’s age.
My Kid is 15 now, so I’m a little rusty on my sales pitch, but I just remember that it changed our lives and I started telling random strangers in the grocery store about it.
Not a pro by any means. Have a one year old. Never, ever, ever slept through the night, as I imagine myself walking eyes,half closed to his room, (knowing I will never recover from all of this lost sleep) pat him, pick him up give, him a bottle, rock him, and back to bed. Waking up approximately fours hours later doing the same thing.
So at 9 months, week from H-E-** Let him cry for up to an hour and 1/2 after only once going to rub his head/chest, and assure he was okay. Then went to bed holding the pillow over my ears praying to God for him to stop crying and go to sleep. I love my baby, he’s is the biggest Mama’s boy ever. I give him all the loving and more, but Mama isn’t doing herself any good either if she doesn’t get some rest.
Since….13 months, old, sleeps from 8pm to 530-6am. Waking occasionally due to teething/sick times.
Toddler, I can only count the days till this time comes with B. I will just continue to read to get some future advice=)
it may have already been covered by some folks now (sorry - just don’t have the time today to skim through all comments)…
Re: cranky and whining. Whine back at them. Make it over the top obnoxious and show them what it is like when they whine to you. I’ve been doing this to my girls, and they immediately get it (and then forget it two days later and around we go again).
Regarding night time - its all about routines. If the routine is to wake up a give him a bottle, then that is why he wakes up - to get him a bottle. I suggest (and our Doctor suggested to us when our youngest turned 1 and was still waking up in the middle of the night for a feeding) make that mid-night feeding as unremarkable an event as possible. No eye contact. No talking. If you HAVE to change the diaper, ok, but maybe wait until morning to do that? And if you have to feed him - feed him water? Better yet, if you can leave a sippy cup of water in the crib with him (I don’t remember - can six month olds drink from sippy cups yet?) then try that. If not, maybe have that 11pm bottle be a BIG BIG bottle - enough to tide him over?
Perhaps try phases (sorry - I’m all over the map here). Try changing the diaper, and then putting him right back down. Or try giving him some water, but don’t change, and right back down. Start diminishing the number of “things” that are happening at night. And then eventually drop the other activity.
The point is, get to a routine where sleeping through the night without distraction IS the routine. You may have to let him cry it out a bit. My wife hates that. I do too, but also believe that occasionally letting them cry it out gets them so tired they can’t help but to fall back asleep by themselves.
Sorry for the rambling and scattered suggestions. Hope some of it helps.
You don’t even need this advice, but for me, it’s the hardest to keep in mind when my two kids are being jerks, and that is: Wait it out, because there is probably nothing you can do about either kid issue - it just has to run its course.
In the meantime, employ whatever sanity saving measures you can come up with, like running away from home the second you get the chance. And then…go somewhere fun. Like Target. (How sad is it that Target is where I run to when I need a break? Answer: saaaaad.)
OH. Something that helped me last Monday when I was having a tough time of things: I took the girls to IHOP (by myself, ugh) for the first time. But actually, it wasn’t that bad, and I let my oldest have a horribly bad for you chocolate chip pancake with whipped cream and my youngest had egg substitute and bits of one pancake (no syrup), and it just started the day off really well.
Much better than starting the day/week off with a struggle to get the oldest to injest anything, anything at all, and watching in despair as my youngest grinds oatmeal into her hair. And then sitting around the house counting down the hours until naptime.
I am right there with you on the whining. If I could just build some kind of whine-powered generator, I could solve the world’s energy problem.
This is going to sound bizarre, but the only thing that has given us any relief is “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. Sofia accidentally caught some of it on TV, and she was totally mesmerized. We read the book, and now she knows all of the characters and why they are bad, and she aspires to “act like Charlie”. Now whenever she has a freak out I ask her, “Are you acting like Charlie right now? Or are you acting like Veruca Salt?” It takes a while to sink in, but about half the time it actually gets her to calm down. Half the time it works, and having the shortcut phrase “Veruca Salt” allows me to quell the temptation to call her a spoiled brat.
My daughter did the get up at 3am thing until I just couldn’t take it anymore. What I did was go into her room, give her her paci, rub her back, pick her up if she was really upset, quiet her down, walk back to my room, wait until she started crying again, repeat, ad infinitum, until she went to sleep.
It took about a week, and it was a rough week, because feeding her meant she would go right back to sleep, and this way it took about an hour for her to go back to sleep, but she started sleeping through the night after that. Basically, the theory was to stop rewarding her waking up with food, since I was reasonably confident it was habit not hunger waking her up. And to avoid CIO, which I don’t have the stamina for.
I don’t know if anyone suggested this or not but have to tried keeping Dylan up later rather then putting him in bed at 7:30?
When both of my girls where babies, we kept them up as late as we could and made sure they had full bellies and that resulted in them sleeping through the night sooner. We started doing this when they were newborns - my oldest slept through the night when she was 6 weeks and my youngest slept through at about 2/3 months.
Baby bedtime was always around 11/ 11:30, later if we could keep them up. But, around 10:30 it was cereal time… around two months of age, I started feeding them rice cereal with a spoon (mixed with formula in a bowl). We’d take our time eating and playing, and then wash them up, get pajamas on and we’d hold them or play with them on the floor. (This also made the transition into eating baby food a little easier since they had already been eating off a spoon)
I can’t stand to hear my kids cry so CIO would have never been an option for us. I remember my parents did that with my sister (she’s 22 now) and it drove me crazy listening to her cry. I told myself I would never do it.
I don’t know if this is doctor recommended either, but it worked for us and we weren’t losing sleep due to middle of the night feedings. Both of my girls have been excellent sleepers and of course as they got older we tweaked the bed time. They’re 10 and 6 now and go to bed at 8:30 during the school year. I need the peace and quite more now than I did then so it all worked out.
As far as the whining goes, I still have a whiny 10 year old. I do the “Until you can speak to me in words I understand, I will not be able to listen to you” thing and it works.
(Oh and the 123 magic works too as one commenter suggested. We do that for misbehavior, works especially well for outings when time out is not an option).
As most people have said, every baby is different. But this worked for my 3.5 month old.
After a month of getting up around 3am to eat, I decided she wasn’t acting very hungry anymore at this time. She was over 12 pounds, and everything I’ve read says they can sleep through the night once they weigh this much.
So instead of feeding her, I rocked her back to sleep at 3am. It took 30 minutes, but it worked. The next night, it took me 5 minutes to rock her back to sleep. The next night, a minute.
And now she doesn’t wake up! She sleeps from about 8pm until around 7am. She talks to herself in her crib for awhile each morning and I wait to feed her until about 7:30am.
When I started doing this, I noticed that she ate more the next day, since she didn’t get her 3am feeding, just like the book said would happen. I nurse, so I’m not sure how much extra formula you’d need to feed Dylan to compensate for not being fed in the middle of the night, but just do whatever feels right. Babies are smart - he will figure it out!
my advice for dylan is to put him in huggies overnights (if he’s in size 3 diapers yet, they start at size 3), dont’ worry about the middle of the night diaper change, and either cut that bottle out entirely, or make it smaller until it’s gone. you may need to do some crying-it-out, but really, at his age, he shouldn’t need that bottle. he’ll make up for it during the day.
don’t you love how i’m an expert on babies and i’m on my first? but i’m on my first three, i had to get rid of the middle of the night bottle for triplets, so i think one should be pretty easy. :D (you can slap me, if you want.)
my boys are 8 months old (but 6.5 months, adjusted) and have been doing without that 3 am bottle for about 2 months now. bliss!
ps i just realized how badly my reply was written. let me add:
when i say “make the bottle smaller”, i meant decrease the amount of milk in the bottle until it’s too little for him to bother getting up for.
huggies overnights rock. we went from waking up every morning with pee (or worse) soaked jammies to dry babies! hooray! i had to order them from amazon, but maybe your stores carry the size 3.
Ugh, sorry. The sleep deprived should not have to face a whiney kid. That’s a recipe for disaster!
Here’s a summation of my sleep experience:
Baby #1 - rocked to sleep every night + monitor on full tilt so that we could respond to every rustle = no self soothing skills + extremely tired parents
Baby #2 - flexible schedule + moderate fussing allowed = remarkable self soothing skills + sleeping through the night since 2 months old
Of course there are issues such as teething or growth spurts that cause the occasional night time crying. But that is the exception rather than the rule. And we don’t feed him, just soothe him. That early morning bottle is probably more of a habit than a necessity. A few nights of dealing with the fussing may net you more nights of solid sleep in the long run.
PS - “Babywise” is my hero.
I’ve got a whiny 3.5 year old and I can say that it’s been like this since he turned 2. That child can whine over anything and goes from zero to demon in about 1.1 seconds.
*But* it seems to have been getting better the last few weeks. For example, when I had to put him into time out the other day for throwing his glasses (for 10,000,000th time) instead of laying in the floor and pitching an almighty fit, he actually walked over to the corner and sat down with minimal fuss. I looked over at husband in disbelief because we usually have to carry him kicking and screaming to the timeout spot. He hates being punished. I’m hoping we’re at the peak and the closer we get to 4, the less whining there will be. *fingers crossed*
I have a 3 year old and an almost 7 month old and … I have no advice for either malady. My 3 year old is on the autism spectrum, so crankiness appears to be part of the package. I try and remember that he’s a toddler, too, so I try to tell him *every time* that it’s unacceptable to shriek, or scream, or whine, etc.
My 7 month old is not sleeping all night either, she’s on a similar schedule to your Dylan. She goes to bed a bit earlier (6:30) and sleeps til around 1:00 and then around 5:00 and then until around 7:00. I haven’t slept in months, she is breastfed and doesn’t take a bottle (which BLOWS for me). As long as she is hungry when she wakes up, i.e., will eat and not mess around, I am going to go in and feed her. It doesn’t take long and I’m just not ready to let her lie there crying yet if she’s hungry. My sleep book (the above mentioned Healthy Sleep Habits…) allows for the night time feedings you mention until they are 9 months old, so that is what I’m going with. It also talks about learned waking, which is when they get up just because they know you’ll come and they miss you! That is a tricky one, I am praying that my girl just starts to sleep soon because I hate - HATE - the sleep training part of motherhood. I hope it gets better for you soon, I feel for you.
I agree with Kalisa on the “1-2-3 Magic,” and I’d add that with our kidlet, I simply tell him, “I can’t hear you when you are whining, sniveling, screaming, etc.” I tell him he must ask appropriately, then model the behavior and tone of voice I expect until he asks in that manner. This only works if you are going to grant the request, of course… Sometimes the answer has to be “no,” and you must not let yourself be drawn into the argument. You just refer to the magic book then… On the sleeping, I have no advice other than we took kidlet into our bed, and that was probably a huge mistake, but I had.to.sleep. He still wants to be in our bed, but he’s mostly sleeping in his own now, if someone will just lie down with him, read him two stories, and stay until he is sleeping. He might come get in bed with us in the wee hours, especially if his allergies are bothering him.
Uh, my daughter is nearly 17 months old and rarely sleeps through the night. Let me in on your secret, please!
when my monkey was 3, we had a long session of whines. about a year and a half. it started at 2½ and continued until about 4. as for sleeping through the night? that didn’t happen for her (us?) until she was two. that was with me trying EVERYTHING ANYONE suggested. what worked? sleeping with me. that was the only thing. then i switched her to a big girl bed at two. it was like magic. i loved it.
You probably have enough advice on this, but have you tried pushing Dylan’s sleep time off a little? We used to keep Max up until about 10 pm, then feed and change him, and he would sleep until 5 or 6 am.
I have a suggestion for everybody. Drop your kids off at Gillian’s place.
Travel back in time and make JB go through the old snip snip.
My almost 5yr old is in the complete butthole stage right now. We figured out (too late) that yelling doesn’t work, it just makes it worse. Hmm. Ya think? We, too, are now trying to be patient and speak calmly like you, but it is VERY trying and VERY hard when I just want to pull her hair out. But she responds better to calm voices. Maybe he’s getting some molars in? (do they get molars at three? I don’t remember) That’s the best I can come up with. Sorry.
I let both my girls cry it out when I wanted to cut out that middle-of-the-night bottle. And they both only cried less than 10 minutes. Longest 10 minutes of my LIFE, but they are both great sleepers now and do not wake up at night unless they’re sick. If Dylan’s going right back to sleep after that nighttime feeding, he doesn’t need it. You just have to be ready to commit to letting him cry (if he even does cry). Until you’re ready, keep the routine. Don’t not get him one night and then get him the next night. You can do it!
Oh, Linda. The threes are TEN TIMES WORSE than the twos. I’m sorry to tell you, but there is nothing to do except, as someone said above, clench your teeth and hold on. By the time he’s 4.5-5, he’ll be a joy again (I’m loving my 5 year old right now more than I ever thought possible!) and you’ll reconsider the whole “I’m going to sell you to the gypsies” thing.
I don’t have any magic advice, at least none that no one above me has said. I have a two-year old and a almost four-week old so I am with you every step of the way.
I read your comments and flag the posts that I know I’ll need in a few months because on the whole (other than the ParentDish bungoles - seriously, how did you not punch Rachel Campos-STFU in the ovaries, I’ll never know) your commenters usually have wonderful advice and are very down-to-earth.
Lesley: Uncalled for.
I cannot be the only parent here who believe that letting babies cry - regardless of their weight or what their doctors tell them - is wrongwrongwrong. It’s proven to not be good for them physically or psychologically. Google it if you don’t believe me.
The point of my last (deleted) entry was just that part of being a parent is lack of sleep. Just because it’s night time doesn’t mean that our children will shut off like a doll or a television. They still have needs, they will wake up and miss you or be hungry or wet and it’s all part of the deal of being a parent. I don’t complain because it’s not that big of a deal. If you’re tired during the day and you’re a SAHM, then nap with them. If you’re a working parent, turn off the tv or put down your book and go to sleep earlier.
My child has never, NOT ONCE cried at night because he sleeps beside me in our bed and knows he’s safe and I’m near him, and he’s nearly 11 months old.
I’m far from a perfect parent, but I never, ever EVER allow my child to cry, day or night. And again, my personal opinion is that CIO is child abuse.
Maybe Riley still isn’t feeling 100% yet, hence the whineyness?
And, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but my son didn’t sleep through the night until 12 months. He was up twice a night for a year. It sucked, so much. I was so, so sleep deprived. I tried everything, bought tons of books, and ended up convinced that a kid just will not sleep through until they are ready. Period. So I hope that Dylan gets ready, soon.
Um, Gillian? You never let your kid cry, day or night? Can we all say spoiled rotten???
I don’t have much assvice to offer and I’m only on my first child, but from what I’ve read, waking one or two times a night at six months is actually, sadly, normal. And also, Ferber? No-Cry Sleep Solution? Sears? FUCK THEM ALL … they don’t actually KNOW YOUR BABY. I do feel your pain though.
Does he sleep in a crib the whole night? Bassinette? Swing? Maybe mix it up and maximize time where he sleeps best? I dunno …
One more thing: Does he sleep on his stomach? Once babies can roll over on their own, stomach sleeping is safe, (anyone: if you doubt me, email me! and I’ll explain) but, at 3am is he trying to roll over and just waking himself up, or getting stuck?
Also, I think some would say you don’t need to feed him again, but I’m nursing my 7 month old and when he wakes in the night which isn’t every night, but does happen, I nurse him back to sleep after a fast in-the-dark diaper change and we’re all sleeping again within about 30-40 minutes.
Geez, Gillian, grow a sense of humour.
As for your advice to nap with the kids when they do - “If you’re tired during the day and you’re a SAHM, then nap with them. If you’re a working parent, turn off the tv or put down your book and go to sleep earlier,” - parents aren’t robots either and can’t just drop off to sleep automatically when their children do.
You can also Google sleeping in the same bed with your children and find plenty of naysayers on that score. Psychologists and psychiatrists - oh I forgot that PD moms are loathe to listen to anything professionals have to say - have come out against this because it’s extremely difficult to wean kids out of mom’s bed and you’ll eventually be facing some very difficult nights of screaming and crying when the cognizant kid interprets you kicking her out as rejection.
Also, parents need privacy and sex once in a blue moon and this is usually best accomplished when kids are sleeping in another room.
(This is a moot point, probably but worth tossing in. There have been cases of infants dying from mom or dad rolling over them in their sleep and not realizing. Personally if I had an infant in my bed I’d be on tenterhooks all night worrying about the dangers.)
I’m pretty sure most moms are quite aware that parenthood involves sacrifices. They don’t need somebody telling them that.
I’m not a parent, so I can’t comment on your advice, Gillian, but I am a person, so let me comment just a little on your delivery. You may very well be a well-intentioned, loving person who takes fantastic care of your children, but something about the way you’ve worded your comments (both of them) comes off as being superior and judgmental. There are certain ways of saying things that make other people bristle, and you’re saying your things that way.
I don’t know what to tell you about how to change your delivery and possibly fit in here where we’ve managed to figure out how to say things without putting others off, but luckily Sundry can simply continue to delete your comments until you learn to play nice.
Wow guys…come on. I was soooooo happy to delete the PD feed from my daily reading because of the negativity and personal attacks, and now this is going on here. This should be a non-judgmental forum so if you don’t have anything positive or constructive to contribute don’t post. Why you may ask, because that it how Sundry is.
This is her space that she has so graciously opened up for the world to read. And yes some may say that blogging will inherently open you up to personal attacks, but why should it be that way?
I think of blogging as a sort of invitation into the bloggers home. Would you sit in her living room and berate her, or any of her guests, in front of a house full of people? If that is something that you would do, if that is in your personality then I’m sure you would not have been invited in the first place. But if somehow you did get in you would be asked to leave. And, huge personal opinion here, but I think that’s exactly what should happen here.
Again this is just my opinion (that is now open to personal attacks I’m sure). But I have a lot of respect for Sundry because she is so open and honest and I couldn’t just sit by and watch it happen here.
Sundry – I am happy you announced that you leaving PD on PD because if you had just disappeared I would have missed your wonderful honesty and amazing sense of humor. Plus I would have probably not thought to search out your blog. I am just immensely sad that in doing that you may have allowed the negative vibe to find you elsewhere.
gillian, i hope you are gifted with multiples one day. it is a blessing, but if you think you can make it so they don’t ever cry, please let me know how you did it.
Hi! I’m a new reader, I’ve been lurking around your blog for a couple of weeks now and wanted to finally say how much I love your writing AND maybe even offer advice on the sleeping. I have an almost 10-month old daughter and I have to say that a kind of Ferber method works for her. However, two things I have learned is that 1) no two babies are the same 2) it will only work if you and your partner are on the same page. It might be a couple of hard nights, but babies are smart and he’ll catch on! Just make sure you guys are both on board - nothing worse than arguing about what to do about your crying baby at 4AM (my lovebug’s preferred wakeup time). If you’re really not prepared to wake up in the middle of the night anymore, you’ll be able to do it. Also, I agree wholeheartedly with the baby monitor suggestion - you’ll be able to hear if he’s really distressed. Voilà! Thanks again, love your blog.
[…] One of my favorite mommybloggers recently wrote about her six-month old son still waking in the middle of the night (from what I can tell, he’s only waking once- at 3am). She wants him to stop waking up so that she can get a good night’s sleep. She’s a working mom and also has a two year old, so her situation is much different than mine- I’m a stay at home mom who works from home doing odd things like sewing slings. The thought of dealing with a toddler and a baby at the same time literally makes me not want to have another one because of how tired I’d feel all the time. Seriously. […]
There are so many different different parenting philosophies out there - you have to just follow your own instincts. If your instincts are telling you to get up in the middle of the night and feed your baby, then do it. Trust yourself. If, however, your instincts say - stay in bed, and you are getting up anyway, then you have a problem…
I emailed you about sleeping issues. I’m too chicken to discuss such hot topics in public :P
No name, no email because I’m at work, but I am a Grandma and raised two sons. When Riley whines, try what my daughter-in-law does with her 3 yr old. Look him directly in the face and say, “Use your words when you speak to me, and no whining, or I can’t talk to you.” If he stops whining, great, if not just turn and walk away. Repeat as necessary. :-) And you thought the terrible 2’s were bad?
I too used the Weissbluth book, and it worked wonders in about three days. I still did get up with her once a night until the week she turned 8 months–and then checked with the doctor to see if she was really hungry–and my pediatrician said no, her stomach is big enough now to get through the night. So we let her fuss one night for a LONG time–but that was the only bad night. Two nights of minor fussing here and there and then BAM. Out for 10-12 hours everynight.
Take a look at the book, it seriously helps.
[…] Some Soup I told a little story, it sounded well-rehearsed. « Vacation Week Recap Girl Fights September 3, 2008 So I’ve kind of been getting into it lately with this crunchy Mom fromNova Scotia. It all started when she commented over on Sundry about how letting your children cry is child ABUSE. You can’t read her first comment as it was removed, but she followed it up with her own post on the whole CIO issue, and, well I couldn’t help putting my 2 cents in. We obviously have fundamental differences on just about every theory and manner of child-rearing, but it’s somehow fun to shake the dust off my beliefs and just put them out there and see what other people think. It seems to be the whole point of blogging no? […]