Oct
8
I saw this article today in The Morning News, and it reminded me of a post I wrote in 2006 detailing my experience attending an embalming (my brother-in-law is a funeral director). It’s one of my all-time favorite entries, and if you’d like to read it, it’s archived here. Be forewarned, it’s graphic, and may be unpleasant for some of you.
If you’d rather NOT read about such things, may I disturb you with something else? BEHOLD:

I think there’s such a thing as a fashion don’t, and then there’s THIS.
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67 Responses to “Re-visiting”
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Are those pockets on the pants?
the SOCKS! with the SANDALS! AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Oh, that’s the weird part. My bad.
There is something WRONG with your husband. Socks with Keens are akin to swearing in church. It just *isn’t* done.
All I can think of is that Pemco or whatever insurance commercial that says, “socks and sandals guy, were a lot like you, a little different.”
“omgwtf” is HILARIOUS :)
I just….what? I mean, he couldn’t at least go for the black socks?
1. Socks with keens…so bad.
2. Coolest fracking post I’ve seen in a long time. (mortuary…not fashion do-nots) Perhaps not so great to read right before bed?
Did you sneak into my house and take a picture of my husband????
I love your mortuary entry as much now as when you originally wrote it! It’s so worth the reread.
I remember that post you wrote…I really liked that one too.
O M G…..
I have never seen anything like those, ah, shoes…(if you can call them that).
Jeepers.
Anyhoo, can i just say that I remember reading that post you wrote on your embalming experience and it was soooooo cool. I totally got immersed in what you wrote! TOtally interesting.
I finally broke down last year and told my husband that sandals and jeans didn’t go. It’s like wearing snow boots with shorts. The seasons don’t match. And ya know what? He had NO IDEA. He had managed to go 38 years without anyone ever informing him of this. I figure I did him a great fashion service.
I have never seen him wear socks with sandals though, so JB takes the cake on that one!
Ya gotta hide those sandals until May. Maybe, in cat’s nest/lair? The 80’s jeans have to go too. It’s not retro if you wore em’ the first time around.
I just bought a pair of Keens boots, and can’t wait till it’s cold enough to wear them everyday!
Tell JB I totally understand that his sandals are comfy, but his feet are cold, so therefore, sandals and socks. Leave the man alone, he can jump like a freakin gazelle!
SO funny… ah, man fashion!
Remember how happy we all were when he got those sandals and stopped wearing the work boots with shorts???
Oh My. It’s good that he is secure enough in his manhood to wear that get up. Heh.
I love that old post. I have always been facinated by that kind of stuff, you are an awesome writer.
Also the socks with the sandals is just WRONG! Why do men do that? My husband does the same thing.
Is it me, or do those shoes look a bit skull-like from JB’s point of view?
I have been slowly reading your archives and read the mentioned post a couple of weeks ago, I have to agree that it is one of the best. I hope that when it is my time to be prepared for burial that I am prepared by someone as considerate has your brother-in-law. It seems like he takes pride in his job and giving the very best to his “clients”.
Keen makes the best shoes ever. And when your dog eats those elastic bungee shoelaces, all you have to do is send Keen an email and they’ll send you a free set of new ones.
rid him of the socks, and the entirely too large patches (pockets?) on his jeans….
HOW did he ever get a girl like YOU?? :)
I’m morbidly fascinated by all that stuff, so of course I read both. I’m not sure I could have watched.
Oh my. That jeans/socks/sandals combo is wrong on so many levels.
oh dear me! No!
your funeral director story was fasinating. Thank you.
And the picture is just disturbing
Ok I’ll confess that last night my husband and I went to dinner and I wore crocks with socks! I couldn’t help it! I was just too comfortable to change!! At least the crocks were blue and the socks were blue so that makes it not TOO bad, right?….right?? Oh never mind!!
This is a great blog…been lurking for a few days and it’s a guaranteed laugh for me.
But……., how did you get a picture of my Dad?
That photo is hilarious! Why do men think we’re out to get them when we give them fashion advice? My husband probably wouldn’t wear JB’s combo, but he comes up with some terrible combinations and when I tell him not to wear those things together, he accuses me of lying to him! WHY?!
(JB needs a teenage daughter to set him straight. My husband seems to listen to our daughter most of the time.)
Am I the only one who thought it was Riley in the socks with sandals picture? The feet look so small. . .
My mom + brother enjoy wearing *brace yourself* socks with CROCS!!! OMFG Crocs alone are bad enough as it is, but with socks?! That shit disgusts me more than both embalming stories put together.
Have you ever read the book ‘Stiff’?
Also, I must know if you plan on getting buried or cremated after knowing 1st hand what goes on. I’m totally going outta this place in ashes, no question.
My husband also wears socks with sandals with jeans and or with shorts it don’t matter and I asked him why the socks. He said he thinks his toes are not attrative. I said so why wear the sandals at all. Cause he feet need air too. Like I am a big dummy you know. Men go figure.
I loved that post you did about spending time with your brother in law at work the first time around, and I loved it this time around too. You are such a gifted writer.
And the photo? What’s that saying….if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all? Um, yes. I think I’ll go with that.
Please buy him some shoes! Or burn all of his socks! Anything, just as long as that doesn’t happen again.
NOOOOOOOO
Okay, someone has to defend socks with sandals. For some of us it’s often too warm for shoes but too chilly for sandals, especially in the air conditioning. That rubber thing on Keens protects your toes, but can also make them sweaty; and sandals in general tend to get smelly in direct contact with feet. Solution, socks! Try it, come over to the dork side, so comfy…
PLEASE tell me that that is not really, actually JB – he is so cool in so many other ways that it makes this even sadder!
For me, the odd patch-like “things” (I cannot me more specific since I cannot bear to look again) on the jeans are almost worse than the footwear combo!
1. The embalming story was awesome and I have a feeling I’m going to be thinking of it for a few days now. Please Linda, write a book!!!
2. And Please Linda, buy your husband some new shoes.
:)
That post is one of my favorites of yours too. Great article. And that shoe/sock combination is just atrocious. heh.
I can’t be the only one who thinks this is Riley. Seriously, the toddler jeans? The tiny feet????
I wish my husband would graduate to socks-with-sandals. Instead, he wears his dark brown suede Merrell Era mocs with shorty white socks, bare white legs and long shorts…and doesn’t get why I want to ralph every time I see him like that.
Gads…fashionista he is not.
Wait a second…how did you get that picture of my husband??? : )
I think it looks cute.
That was a really interesting story. I am not sure if I would want to have that experience or not. I used to babysit for a funeral director’s children when I was in high school. I remember one time he was running late and came home to pick me up. He had his work car (and old station wagon) and inside was a “client.” After realizing he came home with the wrong vehicle, he went back to work and came home with his regular family sedan. I always wondered about the person in the back of the wagon…
funny, that’s the post I remember reading and thinking “I should really read this blog more often” so I put ya on the bloglines. Hard to believe it’s been two years but, then again, I remember Riley’s babyhood so, I guess so!
I was guessing the jeans might have been the weird part until I clicked on comments. I don’t know, I don’t get what the big deal is about socks and sandals. I mean, it’s kind of weird, but doesn’t warrant the reactions people are doling out! Also, the person who said jeans and sandals don’t go together has clearly never visited California.
Reminds me of college in the mid 90’s and wearing wool socks with my Birks! What a fashion nightmare! I didn’t care much then, I was rolling out of bed, going to lecture for 4-5 hours, then just studying my ass off for plant physiology or organic chem. Yeah, comfort was key, looks didn’t mean a dang!
Love the stories!
I read the first 1/4 of the embalming story . . .then realized I should probably not finish while eating my lunch!
Oh, what the HELL? I thought he’d been broken of this crime of fashion!
and i always thought sandals and socks are a european thing…
Ha! I have those same sandals (in green) and I wear them to the dog park – and only the dog park – with black peds socks.
I get it. It’s like having a fresh pair of shoes every day because you just change the socks. BUT I think you I only get away with it because the black peds makes them look like running shoes unless someone is looking carefully. Otherwise, socks + sandals = fugly.
If JB insists that this works for him, I would suggest a big bunch of black socks and pitch them in the rag pile as soon as they start to get faded from washing.
The funeral home slots were always the FIRST places to fill up on OUR career days, so I’ve always wondered how it all works. THAT was a great post. And now I feel so much smarter!
the horror! cargo pants, with socks and sandals!
OK, my husband does this. I defend him thusly – he never wears socks, his Keens and shorts, when we were in Vegas (HOT) and China (HOT) it was all I could do to get him out of BLACK reebok runners, and he also never wore white socks. Also, Keens with jeans was the other rule. You may continue to mock and so will I, but silently and out of hearing range.
am not sure whether you mean the jeans (with the pockets), the white socks, or the shoes or the combo of white socks and sandles. I take it the legs and feet are JBs.
*sigh* I wear white socks with my Keens pretty much every day in the fall and early spring. I’m a dork, but hey, I love my Keens and hate the cold air touching my feet.
My husband still wears Tevas. I hate those things. He tried to put them on with BLACK socks and shorts one day and I almost started to cry. Thankfully he was just messing with me.
Ok. That artice was amazing. I never thought I could be mesmerized by something like that. Oh! And thanks for recommending the Twilight series. I’m addicted!
I think what bothers me the most is that some of you think the jeans are sporting some sort of 70’s style full length pockets – seriously? You think I would walk around wearing jeans that had 2 foot long external pockets? The jeans are Carhartt ‘double front’ work jeans; so tough you cannot cut them with a chainsaw: http://tinyurl.com/4mefxe
I am cracking up that JB left a comment. Is this going to be a regular thing? Actually after reading JB’s twitter posts for a while, I think you (Sundry) need a dedicated “JB’s column” featured here, maybe once every couple weeks? Could be a consolidation of his more notable twitter posts?
BTW I wear Keens (and Birkenstocks too, even) all year long, often with socks. Not white ones though (sorry JB). Pick dark sox to match your outfit, navy blue ones in the case of this photo. I am totally that Pemco “Sox and Sandals guy.” I am actually the Pemco guy’s wife, who puts on her fleece vest before she’s even all the way out of bed! Go Northwest Nerds!
Three cheers for JB!
This is a good opportunity to mention:
SMART WOOL SOCKS- REI
Begin a slow campaign of replacement NOW Sundry. . . . by spring he won’t know where all his white socks went *insert confused look and head scratch here*
I love Keens. LOVE. I’m not so horrified by the socks with them…at least they aren’t Tevas or Jerusalem-cruisers with socks. But Keen makes some closed styles, too…for those who can’t bear the viewing of the socks.
The salesperson who sold my huband his Keens said Keens are more like shoes with holes (I think it’s the closed toe that is supposed to make the difference) and therefore it’s okay to wear them with socks. My husband never took him up on it though and instead sports some pretty strange tan lines.
It is the jeans with the front patches that get me. I almost expect men to wear sandals and socks — so bad, yet so normal to see.
Sandals and socks = dorky dude fashion.
Those jeans = fashion abomination.
I, too, was a bit frightened by the jeans until I read JB’s explanation and that they were CARHART, for God’s sake. MANLY PANTS. True – I live in Montana and listen, you don’t mess with a guy wearing CARHART, okay? Because he may cut YOU with a chainsaw.
The shoes and socks, well – maybe JB’s feet are cold. People here wear socks with Keens AND Crocs, but you know, Kalispell Montana is not exactly a mecca of fashion and style. We are also fond of Wrangler jeans, cowboy boots and cammo apparel of all kinds. JB, you can move here and wear your Keens with socks all you want! Maybe I will send my husband to Washington to live, as he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing socks with sandals – he’s a bit of a girly-man. Bizarre that we live HERE, of all places, but that’s another story for another day.
Loved the embalming stories – at least I know now what will become of me when I croak. Glad I’ll be dead for it.
Your latest twitter has me thinking that Riley is fast learning his mom’s keen and very humorous wit. “failwhale” – total awesomeness from pirate Riley.
Please. JB could be wearing a pink tutu and leotard with his Keens and still look manly!
Linda, do you watch Ghost Hunters? It comes on Sci-Fi at 9pm Wednesdays, but re-runs show at 7pm & 8pm on Wednesdays as well.
ANYWAY. The TAPS crew were investigating this Inn that used to be a funeral home, and the lady was walking them around the building, when she happened upon a table in the foyer. “Oh yes, this was in the kitchen when I first bought the property,” she said. “They used it to embalm the bodies. I found it quite useful for baking cookies and pies – you could just slap down some dough and work away!”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I wonder WHY SHE HAD PROBLEMS? Less ghosts, more chemical consumption maybe? EWWW!
Heh.
JB – you go man! Socks with sandals. He’s a fashion rebel.
I wear socks with my Crocs so, there ya go. I hate cold feet! (although I do try to at least MATCH the color of the sock and the shoe.