I spent my evening tonight sniveling over old family videos, in particular the ones of Riley when he was a wee kidlet.

Oh god, I can’t believe he used to be so little. Also, I can’t even listen to the first part of that music without bursting into tears.

He grew up so FAST, and I know that’s what people always say, that they grow up so fast, but why the fuck does it have to be so painfully, ridiculously true? I cannot think of Dylan growing up like this. I just can’t.

Heh. I’d like to give my past self a high-five for not caving and instead capturing some unfeeling video of my child’s trauma.

No. No, I just can’t believe Dylan’s going to be this old, and all too soon. Shut up, okay? SAY IT ISN’T SO.


42 Responses to “Remember”

  1. Amy on October 16th, 2008 9:40 pm

    He is adorable and I must say, I think I saw some of those suspicious looks even when he was little. It’s so funny that you posted this today. We played hooky from work/school today and went to Apple Hill (placerville, ca) for some fall fun with my mom. I was remembering past trips to some of the same apple farms and was a bit weepy seeing how big and independant they’ve become. My youngest son will be 4 next week and my oldest son is 6 1/2. As fun as it is to watch their progression, I do sometimes really miss when I could carry them in one arm or give them a bath in the kitchen sink. Thanks……nice to know there is another crazy mom out there feeling like it’s slipping away all too quickly. You’ve done an amazing job of documenting their childhood!

  2. Victoria on October 16th, 2008 9:50 pm

    Ok. I promise. There will be a time warp continuum soon that will allow all adorable children to stay their current age. Including my nieces. Deal? ;)

  3. Cameron on October 16th, 2008 10:03 pm

    Amazing, isn’t it? Time apparently flies, as they say. You’ve done an excellent job of capturing the memories, that’s about as much as you can ask for. They do indeed grow up so quick, as we (the parents) all grow older. All you can do is guide them on their journey, and hopefully send them down the right paths.

  4. Lesley on October 16th, 2008 11:13 pm

    Wow, these brought tears to my eyes and I don’t even know Riley.

    Strangely, no matter how old they get the baby self is always somehow still present. They won’t remember how they were but you’ll always see it in their expression. I’m sure our parents see us that way, too.

  5. Linda on October 16th, 2008 11:16 pm

    I love the music, esp on the second video.
    The first video almost made me cry. Riley is so tiny and squeaky. I love that stage. My little one is about 8 weeks old and is already growing at an alarmingly unfair rate. They’re so cute when they’re tiny. And sweet and innocent. And then they turn 2. and 4. SIGH…

  6. Leslie on October 17th, 2008 12:11 am

    Remind me what the music is in that first video. I’ve probsbly watched it more than most of your family members.

  7. Leslie on October 17th, 2008 12:20 am

    Oh, wait — it’s Carl Orff, right?

  8. Mama Ritchie on October 17th, 2008 12:29 am

    I agree with Amy – in that first video, at the 23 second mark, I think we can see the first documentation of Riley’s famous suspicious scowl. He’s a doll. I can’t believe how fast it goes. I’m buying a backpack for Charlie this weekend. A backpack! I remember carrying him in a backpack for christ’s sake. You’re a great mom, with a couple of great kids. And I don’t have to remind you to enjoy every minute – even the fucking whiny, crying ones – because I know you already are!

  9. Donna on October 17th, 2008 12:42 am

    God that just hurts your heart doesn’t it?

  10. JMH on October 17th, 2008 2:11 am

    Sigh, my kids are 7 and 4 and when ever I see a little baby, my it makes my heart hurt a wee bit. I especially miss the sweet smell of a baby right after a bath.

    However, nothing is better than a wild hug from my 4 year old or a “deep” conversation with my 7 year old. :)

  11. Joanne on October 17th, 2008 5:08 am

    OMG I never think that. I must have been dropped on my head when *I* was a baby or something because I think it all goes pretty slowly. I do love looking at pictures and video from when my boy was a baby but mostly I think “thank God THAT’S over!”.

  12. stephanie parnell on October 17th, 2008 5:19 am

    Being someone who has read you back since the Diaryland days….time seriously does fly by. I’ve watched you go through 2 pregnancies…I thought Dylan would never get here….and now he is, what? 7 months old? 8 months old? I can’t imagine how quickly things must be moving for you if they are moving so quickly for me…and I’m just some reader on the opposite coast, ya know?

  13. C.L on October 17th, 2008 5:31 am

    My 20 month old LOVES all of your videos. He claps for every one and then hits repeat. But I have to say he lights up like a Christmas tree when JB is present in a video, yes, my son has a crush on your husband.

  14. jonniker on October 17th, 2008 6:22 am

    God, talk about evidence that time really does fly. I remember all those videos the first time, particularly the one where you ask, “Riley, what seems to be the problem?” HA HA. It never fails to crack me up.

  15. Shutter Bitch on October 17th, 2008 6:34 am

    Thanks for the reminder, because I found myself wishing last night that Baby Pita would hurry up and walk already so her face isn’t eye level with all our house detritus that I miss in my daily vacuuming and I want her to stop eating the carpet hors d’ouevres. But now, I want to go back. No! I don’t want you to grow up, Baby Pita! I don’t want to marvel that you’re already starting to find the arm holes in your shirts and onesies by yourself. I don’t want to be happy that you’re holding your own bottle so I can go do the dishes while you slurp contentedly away a few feet from me. I don’t want to be amazed that you’re testing your balance and standing on your own now and looking just as surprised as I am about your new “no hands” trick. Stop growing!

    Mostly, I’m regretful that I haven’t video taped as much as I wish I would have. There’s only so much a photograph can capture, and video gets quirks of voice and movement in a way snapshots don’t. Need to bust out the vid tonight.

  16. Kristi on October 17th, 2008 6:48 am

    Nothing like some baby videos to bring tears to the eyes on a Friday morning! I can’t imagine my 6 mo old being able to walk and talk…it’s true that some days she does try my patience. But usually, I do feel that time is slipping by.

  17. eve on October 17th, 2008 6:51 am

    I’m with Joanne- I’m one of the few moms who doesn’t really miss the baby stage. I always feel like other people’s kids grow up so fast, but my own kid, not so much. My son is 4 now and I feel like the older he gets, the more fun parenting is.

  18. samantha jo campen on October 17th, 2008 7:10 am

    I go back and sometimes watch that birthday montage video of Riley and ALWAYS start sobbing. And like you with Dylan, I CAN NOT ACCEPT that Theo will grow up like that. To talk, walk, run, ask questions, write his name, say “I love you mommy”. . .oh god make it stop!

  19. Swistle on October 17th, 2008 7:39 am

    This is why I keep having to have a fresh newborn.

  20. Samantha on October 17th, 2008 7:54 am

    I always love watching videos of your kids, especially Riley because he remind me so much of my little Jordan. And everytime I watch these, especially that first one, it does bring tears. *Sniff-Sniff*

  21. kim on October 17th, 2008 8:10 am

    just precious. Thanks for sharing. would you be willing to tell me who the artist is on the last clip, when Riley was 18 months old, the voice/sound is amazing, I want it.

    You and JB sure do make some beautiful babies!

  22. Christina on October 17th, 2008 8:24 am

    I didn’t expect it to be so hard or so fast. My boy turned one last week and I am just not ready for him to grow up yet, already, whatever. Not.Ready.
    I know just how you feel.

  23. Peggasus on October 17th, 2008 8:43 am

    My boys are 22 and 17 now, and I can hardly believe it. Where HAS the time gone? I still enjoy the hell out of them, though, most of the time. (Did I mention they were 22 and 17? The older one totaled his new car last week. Heavy Sigh.)

  24. Rachel on October 17th, 2008 9:01 am

    The horrifying truth is that you haven’t even started yet. In five years (which definitely won’t feel like the “five years” you’ve been used to before kids; it’ll feel closer to five weeks) you’ll look back at Riley at three and be awestruck and terrified at how young he looked then and how fast he grew up. And then five years after that, when he’s as tall as you and all broad-shouldered and the babyish squeak is totally gone from his voice, ditto. (This is as far as my experience goes, but I’m only guessing that eighteen will be here before I know it and will, in keeping with the pattern, look startlingly older than nearly-thirteen.)

    My one beef with parenting is that I wish we could SLOW IT DOWN. From this vantage point, it feels like I got this baby and then went through these whirlwind years (consisting of very long days, don’t ask me how that works because I don’t have a clue) and here I am with this giant man-child who before I know it will not need his mom AT ALL. And I’ll be left behind wondering where the time went. Everyone wears you out telling you this will happen, but it doesn’t really feel real until it happens to you.

  25. Rachel on October 17th, 2008 9:01 am

    P.S. Most darling baby videos EVER. And I say that as someone who has baby videos OF HER OWN CHILDREN.

  26. Karen on October 17th, 2008 10:25 am

    *teary eyed* I love videos that kids are able to look back in years to come – I wish I had some of me when I was little – I guess I’ll have to make do with 70’s/ 80’s attire in photographs!

  27. biscuit on October 17th, 2008 11:06 am

    Time seems to drag until you have a baby then it goes too fast. . . sad. I’d be perfectly happy having a lil’ 4 month old forever. I would put up with the diapering + breastfeeding, if only they could stay little forever.

    Maybe we should get some reborn baby dolls, Linda. ;)

  28. biscuit on October 17th, 2008 11:08 am

    OH! BTW. . .

    totally pissed pants @ Riley calling the dead ‘coon a sleeping kitty.

  29. Leah on October 17th, 2008 11:58 am

    Even though I totally remember that 1st year video and can’t believe it’s gone by so fast, the clip that made me cry was the almost-walking one. I’ve done a lot of thinking about having a teeny-tiny baby in my house soon, but not until that did I picture him learning to walk up and down the hallway. Unfathomable.

  30. Jennifer on October 17th, 2008 12:11 pm

    ditto to Leslie’s question from way early in the list – what is the marimba/timpani piece you used in the first video? Our all-girl percussion ensemble is looking for a new tune to work on and I think that one sounds like great fun.

    The *very end* shot in that first video – that’s the first time that Riley’s face looks like his now-face. To me anyway :-)

  31. Nancy on October 17th, 2008 12:43 pm

    I can’t believe how Riley-ish baby Riley was!

    My babies are now right at the stage Riley was in that second video. BabyB gets so pissed when she pushes the toy right up to the wall. She hasn’t learn to turn yet!

    I don’t want my babies to get bigger. I’m already forgetting some of their cute moments as little babies! *sniff*

  32. kalisa on October 17th, 2008 12:46 pm

    This makes me sad that I don’t have video of my kid when he was a baby. He’s 15 now.

  33. Maureen on October 17th, 2008 1:22 pm

    These are great videos! My daughter is 14 now, and it has all gone by so fast. It is weird when you think about it, like how you don’t know the last time you carry your child, that it IS the last time-you know? I guess I could still carry her piggyback, but having a child on your hip, I loved it.

    I can totally see why people have more than one child, with the one-when a stage is over, it is over.

  34. Jen on October 17th, 2008 2:20 pm

    My baby will turn 1 next month, and has started walking around. I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. What I don’t understand is how some of the days drag on forever- OMG WHEN is their FATHER coming home?!- but suddenly another month has passed and the kid is eating food and wrestling toys from his big brother.

    On the other hand, I never believed the people who kept telling me that ‘every stage is more fun than the last’ until my older one started growing up. He is almost 3 and I can’t believe what a fun little person he is. The conversations and goofing around- it’s awesome. I just have to keep reminding myself of that when I start feeling nostalgic about the *last* baby milestones.

  35. Jennifer on October 17th, 2008 3:13 pm

    I went back to your Aug 2006 entry to find the name of the tune on that first video – it’s Gassenhauer by Carl Orff. Such a fun tune, thanks for reminding me.


    Finding the actual sheet music is proving to be tough. :-)

  36. Cassie on October 17th, 2008 3:48 pm

    Those videos are just too sweet, Linda. I’m sitting here watching them with my five-month-old in my lap, practically crying because time has already gone so fast with him.

  37. Holly on October 17th, 2008 5:39 pm

    i think i’ve watched the first video like 5 times now. Makes me smile! He was such a sweet baby! (Now he’s a sweet big kid :))

  38. pam on October 18th, 2008 7:27 am

    dammit. that first video made ME cry, and he’s not even my kid! but now my baby boys are 10 months old and how in the hell did that happen? :(

  39. Jenny on October 19th, 2008 10:41 am

    My 2 year old thinks Riley is the coolest kid. He loves watching your videos.

  40. Josh on October 19th, 2008 2:58 pm

    Every time I hear your voice, it freaks me out. I don’t know why, but I always imagine you as having this deeper, sultry, dangerous voice. Like a biker chick, or a bartender who likes her whiskey and smoke. But then my ears are greeted with a high, bubbly, girly voice and it weirds me out.

    Same thing with JB. I always imagined him with a booming, gravely, lumberjack voice, but his voice is pretty normal. It’s so odd the things you imagine about people when you just read their blog.

  41. Kelli on October 21st, 2008 4:32 pm

    Linda, I have to tell you, that when I first stumbled upon your blog, you’d just posted the the Riley 1 year video for the 1st time….I was instantly smitten and knew I’d be a reader for a long time to come.
    What a lovely little family you have.

  42. Jessamyn on October 22nd, 2008 6:32 pm

    Yes. This is just how I’ve been feeling about Annabel. The other day I was watching some video of Katie in her first year and, well, bawling, basically. And then what got weird is that Katie herself, the 4.5 year old living here now, came along, saw me crying, and got her feelings hurt thinking that I liked her better as a baby. And it was so hard to explain to her, no, it’s not that I liked you better, it’s just that I know that it is all going so fast, and just like yesterday is gone, pretty soon I’ll turn around and today will be ancient history, and where will my sweet girl be, and how much will I miss THAT time? It’s all so damn bittersweet.

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