This morning I got a random email from a PR company representing, informing me that “the mommy jury isn’t out.” On a poll of 22,000 moms that Cafemom ran recently, 39% planned to vote Obama, 37% McCain, and 12% planned not to vote at all.

I guess it’s possible those 12% are non-US citizens. Or teenagers who watched too much sexy television.

(Like True Blood! For real, are you watching this show? I kind of love it, and holy god is it ever dirty, with almost every episode involving not just smutty human-on-vampire action, but, like, the detailed sort of sex scene where the male actor does a reach-down-and-aim-the-bologna-pony sort of penetration maneuver complete with violent hip jerk to indicate he’s Found the Entrance. The last two episodes alone? Totally responsible for at least fifty teen pregnancies, I’m SURE.)

I just don’t get it, otherwise. Why would you not vote? No really, why on earth would you choose to not vote in this election, or any presidential election? Even if you hate both candidates, surely there is a candidate you hate marginally less than the other? Who can just sit back and not participate, this year of all years? It’s mind-boggling, much like the term “mommy jury”.

If nothing else, people should ask themselves which candidate would best protect the citizens of this country in the case of a zombie infestation. Who would remain calm and strategize a plan of action, and who would succumb to the siren song of brrrrraaaaaaiiiinnss? Personally, I think the answer is obvious.


85 Responses to “Voting criteria”

  1. Keaton on November 3rd, 2008 11:04 pm

    If you’re worried about dealing with zombies, perhaps this list of the (possibly) greatest zombie kills of all time will help to prepare you:

  2. Bel on November 4th, 2008 12:01 am

    Here in Australia, Voting is compulsory, but a good proportion of Australian compulsory votes are donkey votes anyway. On the other hand, there’s that whole argument that US elections only attract the passionate votes, and don’t represent the wants of the middle class average American. And then there’s the argument that millions are wasted on the “please vote” campaigns… it’s a hard one!

  3. mnerva on November 4th, 2008 1:39 am

    @Nikki: I would tell your brother’s gf to look into whether or not she’s able to vote. I am (unfortunately) a convicted felon also, and I am a registered voter ready to cast my vote tomorrow for Obama. You state that her crime was nearly 20 years ago. I don’t know if it differs that much from state to state, but most non-violent crime offenders I think can vote once they’re done with their punishment. Once again I am not a lawyer or an expert, and I know it is too late for this election, but for future elections please have her look into it.

  4. Heather B. on November 4th, 2008 4:15 am

    Just the other night a friend told me that not only was she unsure of who she would be voting for she also was unsure as to whether or not she would BE voting.

    And then I had to get up to walk around for a bit because how?? How is that possible? I don’t get it.

  5. ELC on November 4th, 2008 5:55 am

    There is very little incentive for me to vote in my state (MA) because it is so one-sided that it doesn’t make ANY DIFFERENCE. Seriously, most of the state reps. run UNOPPOSED, so it’s not even the lesser of 2 evils. I vote in every presidential election and get the same “losing” feeling every time by doing so, even when the rest of the country goes my way, I look at my little blue state on the map and feel a little blue too (um, I mean violently nauseated and disenfranchised).
    So I’m pretty firmly in the camp of, if you are not well-informed about the candidates and issues, please stay home. It’s pretty unfair for someone’s random whim in a battleground state to count, not as much as, but FAR MORE than, a thoughtfully considered opinion in a lopsided state.
    I agree this is a critically important election, when I think about the “changes” that are on the horizon, well AFTERMATH just about sums it up.

  6. Kat on November 4th, 2008 5:59 am

    Hey, I’m a long time reader, sometimes commenter. Anyways, my husbnd just told me about this new show in Britain…. oh crap I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s about Zombies.
    The concept is that the world is over run by Zombies and the people locked in the Big Brother House are unaware of this, and so far are safe from harm due to their lock down status…
    Sounds like your cup of tea. I’ll be checking it out soon, so I’ll be back with a name and I’m a report telling you how amazing it is.

  7. tash on November 4th, 2008 6:30 am

    hahaa great photo

    Go Vote all you American citizens. Hell, I would have voted by now if I was American

  8. Tara on November 4th, 2008 6:42 am

    12% not voting–I hope like hell that is an indication of who actually responded to the poll, and not reflective of the mommy population at large, because that is PATHETIC. Research the candidates, decide on the issues that are most important to you, and VOTE, DAMMIT!

    I did. My husband and I packed up our 3.5-year-old son this morning and went to vote as soon as our polling place opened at 6AM ET. My son couldn’t wait to tell everyone there that “We’re goin’ VOTE today!” They even gave him an “I Voted” sticker when we were done.

    Oh, and–two more for Obama. I am so friggin’ excited (and part scared), I almost can’t take it. It will be a late night!

    Mnerva’s right, Nikki–I heard a story on NPR just yesterday, I think (or Sunday?), about a man who was a convicted felon, but went through a special “re-qualification” program or something to allow him to vote. It took some time, apparently, but he thought it was well worth it–he’s 53 now, and preparing to vote for his FIRST TIME EVER. Go forth & Google! Your boyfriend’s gf may be eligible by the next election. (And Mnerva: good for you!)

  9. Kaire on November 4th, 2008 6:50 am

    I was late for work because I kept staring at the one thing I hadn’t voted on. Most tempting was to do a write in, but “they are all crooks & liars” isn’t really considered a name is it?

    I finally made a choice. Do I feel good about it? No. The whole thing left me feeling like puking. Even doing the “who do I hate less” didn’t make me feel better. Do I feel I made the right choice? No, but I don’t feel like there was a right choice. Either way I’m feeling like I should just grab my ankles and hang on for the fucking the world is getting.

  10. JuJuBee on November 4th, 2008 6:51 am

    I hope people remember that if they don’t vote, they CAN’T COMPLAIN. Sorry if this has already been stated here.

  11. Anne on November 4th, 2008 6:55 am

    Sort of election-related, definitely zombie related:

    Max Brooks came to Indiana University last week and spoke and my husband and I went to see him and get our books signed. He signed WWZ with “Yes, we can (kill zombies)!”


  12. Krissa on November 4th, 2008 7:24 am

    A friend of mine said she’s not voting because she doesn’t care.


    I’m voting. I suppose in the end that’s all any of us can do.

  13. nonsoccermom on November 4th, 2008 7:29 am

    OMFG, that picture is totally awesome! HA HA HA HA HA!!

    Yeah, I really do NOT understand not voting in this election. But most of all, I do not understand that rather significant percentage of “undecided” voters. HOW THE HELL can you NOT have formed an opinion yet?

  14. Erik on November 4th, 2008 7:42 am

    voting is not that hard nore does it take long. you do not have to vote for all thoes people on balit. Just vote for the ones who you know about. and if your last name is in the O-Z aria you get in and out quickly (c;
    have a good voteing day

  15. Melissa on November 4th, 2008 7:46 am

    That picture is a scream. I also think that it’s a good idea to vote even if you cannot be 100% behind the guy. Make an educated decision or an uneducated one….It’s your right. I’m packing the kids up in a few minutes and taking them with me to vote.

  16. bad penguin on November 4th, 2008 7:56 am

    I completely neglected to consider the zombie question! Luckily, I’m confident I made the right choice anyway.

    I also love True Blood. Dirty yes, but also so much fun.

  17. Lori on November 4th, 2008 8:20 am

    I DID NOT consider the zombie question. OMG! But wait – luckily it appears my guy would kick the zombie’s a$$ rather than invite him to tea.

  18. Alyson on November 4th, 2008 9:12 am

    Two things…….

    When is the US going to make Presidential Election day a national holiday?

    Why can’t we publically flog folks who don’t vote (I don’t include my Canadian neighbors in this, they’re defenseless).

  19. Becky on November 4th, 2008 9:20 am

    I absolutely agree that everyone should vote – and that you’re forfeiting your right if you don’t.

    But I also get a little annoyed with people who ONLY vote in presidential elections – like those are the only elections that matter. Let’s face it – your local, county and state elections are going to have just as much – if not more impact – on your everyday life than the vote you cast every four years. Just saying…

  20. Carolyn on November 4th, 2008 9:29 am

    I think it’s an obvious choice too, but I’m with you–how can people actually not vote? I’m in CT and we run deep blue, but I can’t imagine not voting–I love it and it’s a duty and a privilege.

    Also, you get stickers. And in Holly’s house (from Nothing But Bonfires), cupcakes. Mmmmmm…cupcakes.

  21. Sadie on November 4th, 2008 9:51 am

    1) Not registering to vote does not exempt you from being called for jury duty: most states use motor vehicle registries for jury duty pools. So this is a piss-poor excuse not to vote.

    2) I believe that even convicted felons can vote, as long as they are no longer on parole or probation. Once a sentence is fully served and completed, probation/parole & all, felons may vote.

    I voted today and I was only too happy to live in a country where the biggest obstacle to casting my ballot was waiting in line for 30 minutes. People will complain about ANYTHING, won’t they?

  22. Leslie on November 4th, 2008 10:03 am

    My “Will Work for Brains” zombie button arrived in the mail yesterday and made me think of you.

  23. Karen on November 4th, 2008 10:14 am

    My head also explodes when I hear women say they might not vote…. this set of pictures was circulating here in Canada prior to our recent election…. though I believe they are largely U.S. history. Please everyone, check them out.

    When my firstborn was two, we walked up to the polling place and I coached him all the way “we’re going to exercise our franchise.” Stupid toddler tricks I know. Then we arrived and he looked around and said…. “Where are the french fries?”


  24. Stephanie on November 4th, 2008 10:18 am

    I am soooooooooo addicted to True Blood, I’ve been cruising my local vampire bars so the hubby and I can score some V…

    Oh, and the ending of your post, PRICELESS!! Run from the zombie Obama!! He’s BEHIND you!!

  25. Lori on November 4th, 2008 10:48 am

    UPDATE to my earlier post: I was just told by my brother-in-law that he isn’t voting because he doesn’t like either candidate.

    He did agree that he would go but he wasn’t enthusiastic. OK, I’m not enthusiastic about a root canal either but if it’s necessary….

  26. victoria on November 4th, 2008 11:10 am

    I voted this morning at the Our Redeemers Lutheran Church a few blocks from my house. Prior to that, I took the dog for an hour long run and took all my vitamins. I feel like a saint, lol.

    In other news, something you said on your blgo really resonated with me. You wrote about how great it is to make your body your ally not your enemy. That comment really, uh, kind of shook me up, because it made me realize that I have treated my body like the enemy that has to be beaten into submissions. This takes a lot of energy, is difficult to sustain, and makes me unhappy. I can’t say that I’m fully on board with the “self-loving approach to diet and exercise” just yet, or that I actually see my body as anything ut a disappointing failure to look or perform the way I want it to, but I do believe that you actually did succeed in changing your attitude, and that makes it possible for me to believe that I could, too.

  27. JennyM on November 4th, 2008 12:23 pm

    I know it’s totally a cliche at this point, but I really DID almost spit out my diet coke when that photo loaded. That is a scream. BRAAAAINNNS.

  28. JennyM on November 4th, 2008 12:35 pm

    And also? Free Starbucks and Krispy Kreme when you vote! And stickers! FREE KRISPY KREME, people.

    No, seriously — I stood for over an hour in line in my podunk little SC town where my vote theoretically doesn’t contribute to anything anyway, but dadGUM it felt good to press that button (@SART).

  29. Cara on November 4th, 2008 1:35 pm

    Mommy jury? Seriously?

  30. Emily on November 4th, 2008 4:31 pm

    KG – great comment!

    I think that it is saying something to not vote if you don’t back either candidate. To me, I GIVE someone my vote, and that means something. I think it would be very interesting if in addition to the write-in, there was a “none of the above” option. That way your vote would say “I don’t want any of these candidates to be president.”

    True, you will probably never find someone that you agree with 100%, but if you seriously don’t want any of the candidates elected, you should be able to say so.

  31. Kim @ on November 4th, 2008 4:40 pm

    A large part of why I almost did not vote? Someone casting a judgment about how or if or who I voted for.

    I think, personally, (and I’m aware this isn’t my blog so perhaps my opposing opinion should just go away and if that’s the case then I will) that it is our “right” to vote.

    I have the right to have an abortion or not. How would I like it if I were told I HAD to or I was an idiot if I didn’t? I have the right to marry or not. Again, same argument. I have many rights. How is any of it anything to do with anyone else?

    If one is pro life one might argue how it is their business. If one is against same sex marriage one might argue that it is their business who I marry. (though I am married to a man so as not to mislead anyone) But is it anything to do with someone who does not agree?

    I feel that when we put a “must” on anyone’s rights we ask for imposition on our own.

    My brother in law told me when Obama won, it would be “all my fault” and when my property taxes went sky high and I couldn’t afford to live in my house any more he would let me and my children live in the street.

    I had another woman tell me that if McCain won and we had WW3 it would be my fault, too. Because he is just Bush the second. Plus Obama is friends with tear wrists.

    Why? I wanted to vote third party and that damned their favorite guy to losing, apparently.

    And if voting third party is “throwing away my vote” like so many would have me believe? I can see why one wouldn’t vote if I didn’t like the two “big name” candidates.

    Now, that said? I did vote. And I don’t think for one second it was wasted. As John Quincy Adams said, “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”

    I am a fan of your writing so I do not wish to come off hostel. Just trying to offer another perspective. Hopefully it will be met as that. Another perspective. It’s definitely not an attack. As I said, totally a fan.

  32. Kim @ on November 4th, 2008 4:48 pm

    Oh, and now I know why my husband has been pimping True Blood to me. Dude was hoping to score. hahaha

  33. Post-Election Post « Buy Some Soup on November 9th, 2008 12:41 pm

    […] As I commented earlier in the week at Sundry’s blog, there is not a lot of incentive to vote here in my little blue state, and the lopsidedness leaves me feeling rather disenfranchised. I know my vote doesn’t make a difference here. So in addition to voting, isn’t there something else I could have done? Yes, of course there was, I could have voiced my opinion sooner and more often to more people. […]

  34. Amanda on November 10th, 2008 1:40 pm

    That picture is one of the bright lights that kept me from going over the edge this campaign season. I STILL laugh out loud everytime I see it! I would like to blow it up to a 16×20 (at least) and nicely frame it and send it to John McCain.

  35. Free True Episodes on December 5th, 2009 10:48 pm

    This show just keeps on improving each and every episode.

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