Our pediatrician’s office is kind of awesome in that it’s open on the weekends, they run a useful website, and there’s a nurse advice line that’s even available after hours. I remember calling that number in the wee hours of the night a few days after Riley was born, in a full panic over his, um, penis. His circ ring, to be specific, and all I’ll say about that is 1) I was dumb, and 2) whoever I spoke with was very patient and kind.

I called the nurse line yesterday just to put my mind at ease about Dylan, thinking they would surely tell me that a barfing baby is no big deal and as long as he was hydrated everything was fine, but she interrupted me mid-sentence and said we needed to come in RIGHT AWAY. At which point I felt horrible for my tra-la-la explanation of his horking, when obviously I should have been weeping and garment-rending and possibly dialing 911 instead.

Of course, after bundling both kids off to the pediatrician’s office (and spending a very uncomfortable 20 minutes or so in the waiting room next to a sweet but slightly worrisome mentally handicapped fellow who was downright enchanted by Dylan and kept inching his wheelchair closer and closer until it was resting on my purse strap and I performed an awkward, flame-faced exit after they finally called us in and I tried to stand up with baby, toddler, and purse in tow but — YOINK! — was nearly pulled back down onto the floor by the man’s chair), the doctor swept in, peered in all of Dylan’s orifices, palpated his puppyfat belly, and declared him the not-so-proud owner of “some kind of stomach bug”.

Which, okay, I know that sort of thing is in fact sometimes the most accurate answer there is, and I’m grateful for it not being Unfathomably Worse, but this is almost always my experience with doctors: that it’s the rare pain or illness that can actually be treated with something other than time. So many medical advancements, and yet the most common ailments remain impervious to pharmaceutical intervention. They tell you to drink fluids and send you on your way, without even handing out a consolation prescription, like maybe a nice temporary pick-me-up from the benzodiazepine family.

Anyway, Dylan seems to be doing better, although I’m still playing it safe with Pedialyte and oatmeal, because unfortunately I know from personal experience that if that particular mixture comes back up, at least it’s a carpet-matching beige.

Portrait of round-bellied, carpet-staining child, whose Native American name is He-Who-Grabs-His-Junk:


In other news, JB and Riley are in Oregon for the weekend. Every November JB goes elk hunting in Coos Bay, and while I didn’t want to accompany him this time — the drive is so long, and we’ll be heading down there for Thanksgiving — it seemed like a good chance for Riley to hang out with his grandparents, so the boys left town on Thursday night. I miss them both very badly, but I kind of doubt Riley’s pining away for me:


Apparently Grandpa is buddies with the local fire chief, who gave Riley a spin around town in an actual no-shit fire engine.

No, of course I don’t feel bad about missing such good times, this was a very good decision to stay home on my own with a sick baby, I DON’T FEEL STUPID AT ALL.

Ahem. So, assuming anyone’s reading this, what are you up to this weekend? Got any suggestions for what *I* should be doing, bearing in mind that my constant companion is 9 months old and a currently little unpredictable in the food-staying-in-the-stomach department?


46 Responses to “Friday night”

  1. Jem on November 14th, 2008 8:43 pm

    This weekend…

    Well it’s already Saturday afternoon, but for once I have Saturday off! So I’m going to a friend’s house tonight for a barbeque. Tomorrow I’m working at my new job at the Sky Tower.

    I have no ideas on what you could do, other then order yourself something pretty off the net! yay internetz!

  2. Nicole on November 14th, 2008 8:48 pm

    Rent Season 1 of Arrested Development. It’ll make you feel better in no time, and make the time pass quickly as well! Hang in there! Hope Dylan is well soon- barfing babies are brutal. Aaahhh, alliteration.

  3. Mama Ritchie on November 14th, 2008 8:51 pm

    We’re going to take C to ride on an honest-to-god, no shit Thomas the train. A full-sized Thomas. Sir Toppam Hatt will be there, along with Bob the Builder, for reasons unknown, because clearly he does NOT live on the Island of Sodor. Either it will be C’s happiest day on this earth so far, or he’ll freak out upon arrival and we’ll have to turn the car around.

    As far as what you can do with a possibly pukey kid, well, I would say you may as well hop on the Twilight bus, if you haven’t already, and read all the books back to back. I haven’t read them myself yet but I hear the main guy is DREAMY.

  4. Jen on November 14th, 2008 8:54 pm

    My suggestion? Run to the nearest establishment that sells both Pedialyte AND magazines that you can paruse at home with guilty pleasure. I would suggest a book, but seeing as the boy child is horking alot, magazines are better! :)
    Been there w/both my kids more times than I care to recall! Hang in there!! :)

  5. Sadie on November 14th, 2008 9:01 pm

    if it makes you feel any better, I have no children or husband, am young and wear pointy heels, and thus should be swinging from a chandelier right now, what with it being Friday night and all – but instead I brought my dog to my mom’s to play with her dog, while we drank wine and made fun of the horrific families on SuperNanny. HOLY SHIT have you ever watched that show? The children are straight-up devil spawn and the parents are clearly mentally retarded. Makes for some riveting TV, I will give it that.
    The rest of my weekend involves cleaning, leaf-raking (fuck you, neighbor’s oak tree and westerly winds!), and hopefully a nice meal out with the boyfriend.

  6. Julia on November 14th, 2008 9:25 pm

    This is horribly disloyal of me but… that is the most beautiful baby I HAVE EVER SEEN.

    That is all.

    Oh, and I was a hunting widow myself last weekend with sick bab(ies) and it was… well! Yeah. Hang in there.

  7. Trina on November 14th, 2008 9:25 pm

    Put Dylan in the car and drive on out to Greenlake in Seattle. Put him in the stroller and take a walk around the lake. Fresh air, exercise, people, animals. As long as it isn’t raining, it will be AWESOME! Find a baby rain poncho to put on him so if he pukes it will be on that instead of all over him. :)

  8. Zee on November 14th, 2008 9:39 pm

    How about a stroll around the Bellevue Botanical Gardens? Then a walk to the park next door to play on the swings? That’s what I did the last time I had a barfy pants on my hands.

  9. Donna on November 14th, 2008 9:45 pm

    Wow, just you and the babe huh? (I love me some red headed boys, always have, dunno why)
    I like the rain pancho idea, why didn’t I ever think of that? Maybe rent lots of movies, and just snuggle. Just don’t do anything constructive, have a lazy weekend, you deserve it!
    Also, are you not doing the notify thing? Cuz I’m totally not getting them……and I’m afraid I might miss something!

  10. sundry on November 14th, 2008 9:51 pm

    I don’t know why those notifies aren’t getting to you, Donna — but did you get my email about that? Because if not, then EVERYTHING from me is getting SPAM-BUCKETED, and that’s not fair, seeing as how I only talk about porn like once a month or so.

  11. Kristi on November 14th, 2008 10:01 pm

    I wonder what exactly is going through his mind in that picture…..

    This exciting weekend will involve grocery shopping ON A SATURDAY (I like to live on the edge) and attempting to install a ceiling fan in our 16′ vaulted entryway. Let the cussing commence!

  12. Lara on November 14th, 2008 10:10 pm

    I have no fun suggestions, given that my life currently involves half-surfing, half-watching last nights taped Grey’s and ER, while trying to keep power to my laptop flowing by looping the power cord around my big toe, but I just have to say that is the cutest picture of the cutest baby ever.

  13. sara on November 14th, 2008 10:33 pm

    Ugh. I feel sad for you.

    BUT. I have a brilliant idea. Of course it’s brilliant. Because it’s mine. Oprah (please don’t hate me, I honest to God don’t watch the show like a cult member) gave away stuff to her AT HOME audience on Wednesday or Thursday. Why am I telling you this now? Because it was a snapfish book. For mother fucking free. Go there (you have to have it claimed and made by Saturday at 11:59 PM) and make yourself a fine little book. For free, even. That will take up a good chunk of time.

    Just stick Dylan in his saucer/bouncer (and alternate alternately), turn on some baby Einstein and get busy. Don’t I sound like a fabulous mama?

  14. sara on November 14th, 2008 10:33 pm

    oh and… what is Donna talking about notifies? Or should I just mind my own business?

  15. ELC on November 14th, 2008 10:58 pm

    For some crazy reason I got the idea in my head 3 months ago, when my son was 9 months old, that I should paint him a set of alphabet blocks for his 1st birthday. I made lists of what I would paint on each of the 6 sides of each cube, including a frickin’ FOOD item starting with each letter. Needless to say – my son’s party is Sunday, it’s almost 1 AM on the East coast, and I’m bleary-eyed trying to find pictures of Upside-down cakes and X-mas cookies to copy. So…um, you should get a head start on any overly ambitious craft projects for Dylan’s 1st while you still have time.

  16. Ashleas on November 14th, 2008 11:25 pm

    Digital painting all weekend. I have a series of pieces to finish by .. OH CHRISTMAS.. and I’m a slow worker. In addition to ALL MY OTHER CLASSES! Augh!

    As for what you could be doing.. Find thy self a sitter and go have a pedicure!

  17. Jennifer on November 15th, 2008 12:39 am

    Orchestra concerts this weekend, so I will be hauling percussion equipment up hills and over windy sidewalks to the WWU Performing Arts Center, playing assorted classical pieces, then hauling all the equipment back!

  18. Valria on November 15th, 2008 12:56 am

    Cake decorating class tomorrow. Sunday is dog walking, football and cramming ALL of the weeks chores including grocery shopping into the day.

    I have no ideas for you on what to do with a sick baby albeit cute baby. Put him down for a nap and revel in the quite that is your house with no one else home…..Perhaps write a few blogs ahead of time for your upcoming trip so you can easily post them and keep up with the new post every in November (cause I for one and loving knowing there will be a new one everyday) oh I guess that sounds kinda selfish huh.

  19. Amanda in WI on November 15th, 2008 5:41 am

    Im home with a very sick 5 year old this weekend. So if you think of something, please let me know.

    Feeling your pain in Green Bay.

  20. Cara on November 15th, 2008 5:54 am

    When I have the house to myself, I’m all about reading a book uninterrupted. If Dylan will let you snuggle him in beside you, I say grab an afghan, a cup of tea and sink right on in to a good book.

  21. Deanna on November 15th, 2008 5:57 am

    1. Dja see that Survivorman is back on with NEW episodes!?! Yay Les!!

    2. Saturday- yardsaling and then watching the kids while hubby goes in to work (all day! Dang server upgrades!) but I have a secret weapon- I rented wii music and showed it to the kids and told them they are helping me clean house and we will take wii breaks if they help. Yeah- it’s bribery but it works.

    3. Have you made / updated your xmas gift list or wrapped packages? It always puts me in a good mood to see how close to done I am.

  22. thejunebug on November 15th, 2008 5:59 am

    We’re staying in, since we’re getting another coldfront and it’s going to be DAMN COLD outside, and watching movies. If I go stir crazy I might go to WalMart. Heh.

  23. Erin on November 15th, 2008 6:18 am

    Oh, poor sick Dylan. And poor Momma! Hope he’s better soon.

    Watch movies!! That’s what I would do. Or, I think it is. I watched Juno this week and LOVED IT. It’s a good one to watch without JB. My husband was out of town all week, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have been sad to miss it, even though I thought it was pure brilliance.

  24. Shannon on November 15th, 2008 6:23 am

    I am supposed to be having 30 people over for my son’s first birthday … which includes a bouncy house thingy….the problem…the torrential downpour outside.

    Do I cancel (holy crap I’ll have a lot of food!) or cram everyone in my house? Mind you…the sole entertainment was to be the bouncy house…15 kids…no entertainment…

  25. kristylynne on November 15th, 2008 6:33 am

    OK, that is a gorgeous baby picture. I’d frame that one. I hope you don’t bother spending money on portraits, because your pictures kick ass. You must have an awesome camera.

    I’m in the same boat … husband gone for the weekend, leaving me home alone with small child. I am planning on vacuuming and going to Target. Good times.

  26. warcrygirl on November 15th, 2008 7:27 am

    I haven’t met a little boy yet who wasn’t all yowza over a fire truck. I sometimes hate this question from you because my weekends sound so tame compared to everyone else but it’s MY weekend so here goes:

    Today (Sat) I’m taking Jr to basketball practice, then later on today we’re going to stuff stockings for Operation Christmas stocking. Sunday is the usual (sans soccer as the season is on hiatus): church, lounging about the house, then church again.

    Man, I feel like I should be trekking the Andes or something.

  27. Kate on November 15th, 2008 9:23 am

    Sorry ’bout the sick babe. Hope he’s on the mend soon. BTW, I used to go to that same ped office (the one in Factoria) and loved it too.

    As far as weekend plans, I have to work both days 3-11:30pm. This morning though I will probably head out to our new house and check on the cabinet-hanging progress. And if I’m feeling energetic & the kids will cooperate, I might do some painting.

    Have a good weekend!

  28. Sarah on November 15th, 2008 9:31 am

    What should you be doing? Wine…and lots of it…maybe you can join him in the carpet-staining fun then!

    Uh, I mean…I have no idea! *G*

  29. Mia on November 15th, 2008 9:56 am


  30. Emily on November 15th, 2008 9:59 am

    I’m going to see the new Bond movie. Da-da da DAAA! Also, eat chocolate. Because it’s raining.

    Oh, and I recommend the book “Wicked” (the musical of the same name was based on it). Muy bueno, for shizzle.

  31. Karly on November 15th, 2008 9:59 am

    Just had to tell you that my 3 year old daughter was looking over my shoulder as I read this and when she saw Dylan’s picture she said “Ooh, Mommy, that’s an angel!” I have to agree…he does look pretty angelic. Then again, I’m not the one cleaning up the puke stained carpet. ;)

  32. Jennifer on November 15th, 2008 10:07 am

    This entry might as well be titled, “Why Jennifer Should Not Procreate” because I would live in constant fear of Something Bad happening and wind up with the nurse line on speed dial. I guess you grow into it though, who knows.

    I am currently fumigating my house after finding the liquified remains of a rotten potato in my pantry. I swear that the whole house now smells absolutely rancid because of it. Not much else is on tap. I just finished the first Sookie Stackhouse novel and I am SO TOTALLY PISSED at who the killer is. I won’t spoil anything, but I really hope they tackle it differently on ‘True Blood.’

    Hope Dylan feels better and you find something fun/relaxing to do!

  33. SJ on November 15th, 2008 10:08 am

    That photo of Dylan is by far the most angelic looking baby photo I’ve ever seen. He’s absolutely beautiful. Frame worthy for sure.

  34. Maureen on November 15th, 2008 10:26 am

    I think I am going to spend the weekend reading Sookie Stackhouse books. I am watching Trueblood on HBO, so I picked up the first 2 books. Totally addictive, and I will be shivering on Borders doorstep at 10:00am this morning to get the rest of them!

    Glad Dylan seems to be on the mend. I’m with everyone else, he is absolutely adorable.

  35. StyckyWycket on November 15th, 2008 10:34 am

    I’ll be studying for my Life and Health Insurance license on Saturday, and baking for the Cleveland Food Bank bake sale on Sunday.

  36. Donna on November 15th, 2008 10:37 am

    Didn’t get the email, or notifications, but have edited my spam settings, so we will see, thanks though, and hope baby boy is feeling better, teh cute, my eyes!!!

  37. Anonymous on November 15th, 2008 11:08 am

    I just made biscuits, yummy!!

  38. launchingsloth on November 15th, 2008 11:16 am

    This morning I’ve been doing early online Christmas shopping. It’s pretty fun, actually, and also I’m feeling VIRTUOUS ordering so early and not having to pay crazy shipping.

  39. Peggasus on November 15th, 2008 11:51 am

    Ordinarily I would be at the Illinois/Ohio State game in Champaign, IL, but my son called dibs on my ticket for this game at the beginning of the season. That’s actually fine with me, as right now it is cold and semi-rainy and 25mph windy. And I don’t do cold&windy&rainy.

    Me? I just made a grilled ham & cheese sandwich for lunch and poured a glass of wine and am alone in the house, watching the game on tv. Yeah, who got the better deal here?

  40. jen on November 15th, 2008 12:14 pm

    He-Who-Grabs-His-Junk. I am still laughing and I read this post hours ago.

  41. Amity on November 15th, 2008 3:01 pm

    That pic of Dylan is awesome. :)

  42. Swistle on November 15th, 2008 3:13 pm

    Okay, you can’t BLIND ME with a GORGEOUS BABY and then expect me to THINK STRAIGHT.

    I went, um, shopping at Target. Is that exciting? Tomorrow: laundry!

  43. Georgia on November 15th, 2008 3:29 pm

    What am I doing this weekend?! Oh, well thank you for asking…I am waiting for a plumber to come fix the huge mess that the other plumber made out of a small mess last night when he tried to snake my shower, only to cause the ceiling in my kitchen to leak as well. Thank god I’m a renter!

    I don’t hang around babies very often, but I suggest you guys do what I’m doing today, and declare it “No Pants Saturday” and lay about in your underwear wasting time. Tis quite relaxing.

  44. Lori O on November 15th, 2008 3:31 pm

    My husband is heading out for the night so it’s just me and my girl. We’re planning on ordering some cheesy chic-flick on demand since we don’t get that opportunity too often! I might even head to the store before he heads out and by a roll of ready-made cookie dough. I know that goes against everything healthy but it’s chilly out and I’ve had that cozy feeling all day that comes with a hankering for fresh baked cookies and milk!

  45. Sonia on November 15th, 2008 10:15 pm

    Let’s see….my husband is a fireman and responding from home as a Lieutenant officer this weekend. My brother came over today to watch my boy so I could go do a photo shoot. I’m now taking a break from photo editing. Tomorrow I have a training session for my new job, and then I’m going to my bil’s house to celebrate my niece’s 16th (!!!!OMG!!!!!) birthday. Not terribly exciting, but certainly not a bad weekend.

  46. tash on November 19th, 2008 6:50 am

    Oh my – I know I’m days late with this comment but that is just the cutest photo of he who grabs his junk!!!

    And the fire engine – what’s cooler than that?

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