Yesterday, in dreary bullet-point format:

• Riley came down with a miserable cold, complete with feverish whimpering and Repulsive Old Man Cough
• We had to cancel hanging out with our friends who we hardly ever get to see and they have a BRAND NEW BABY and I was totally concocting a multi-step plan for how I could get away with nomming their son’s toes without looking like some kind of toe-nomming weirdo
• While JB was visiting an office just north of us, his truck was broken into, his dash torn to shit, the navigation system ripped out, and his MacBook Pro stolen:


On the other hand, OBAMA IN THE HIZZOUSE! So, you know, not all bad.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a laptop with personal information on it go missing but boy, is it ever a phenomenal pain in the ass. I should clarify that in this case it’s a pain in JB’s ass, since he’s the one running around like crazy making sure passwords are changed and accounts are notified and fraud alerts are placed and so on, but of course I have to live with him, so let’s just say everyone’s ass will be glad when this is over. Luckily, our homeowner’s insurance will cover the cost of a new laptop, because I can already tell by the twitching and occasional lunges towards my own computer that JB’s going through some hardcore withdrawal.

An additional bummer is that we’ll have to drive my car to Oregon this weekend while JB’s truck is being repaired (his brother’s wedding is finally coming up, and guess whose best man speech was on a laptop that got stolen yesterday?), and now that we have two largish front-facing booster seats, there’s about six inches of room between them in the backseat. So that should be pretty comfortable when one of us, likely the one who doesn’t have “control issues” about letting other people drive AHEM, has to get back there to tend to the baby.

Maybe one of the children could ride in the trunk? Whichever one is being most loud and irritating, say? They should be fine back there, right, if they have good airflow and a toy or two to keep them entertained? Man, talk about two birds with one — oh, I’m kidding.

(Sort of.)

In happier news, Dylan has started doing this thing where he picks up a TV remote, holds it backwards to his ear, and makes little jabbering noises, because — ha! — he’s on a phone. God damn if it isn’t the cutest thing ever. We should get him a little Bluetooth headset so he can be Baby Douchebag Handsfree Cellphone Conversation Guy.

Is not actually a douchebag. Well, not all the time, anyway.


71 Responses to “Breaking, entering”

  1. Alyson on January 22nd, 2009 9:05 am

    Sorry to hear about the car prowl. Happened to my DH, too……..twice!….No…..FOUR times!

    Gotta question…..Do you vaccuum your carpet every time before you snap pics of the kids? No debris, no dog hair, not cat hair, no cheerios……You are AMAZING girl!

  2. Sarah in Huntsville on January 22nd, 2009 9:08 am

    Someone broke into our house back in August and stole (among other things) our laptop off our living room table. And since my husband had our tax return info on it, we were scrambling to make all those calls too. And then I went into pre-term labor, I’m pretty sure from all the stress. Good thing they never caught the guy, because even now, five months later, I’d happily stab him the face.

  3. Amity on January 22nd, 2009 10:31 am

    So sorry to hear about JB’s break in. That SUCKS!!

  4. Melissa on January 22nd, 2009 11:16 am

    I feel for JB – someone broke into my car a few years back and tore up the steering column in an attempt to steal it. I didn’t have a computer in the car they went through everything – it is a serious invasion of privacy. Which was really unnerving for me. And in response to your Twitter….I saw the headlines earlier and thought of you. Crossing my fingers for you guys. My husband is still working but we know lots of people who have lost jobs.

  5. Nancy on January 22nd, 2009 12:48 pm

    Hee hee — one of my twins is all about her “phones”. She has her spoon phone, and her remote phone — she holds them up, cocks her head and says “h’lo?” The thing is, neither of us really talk on the phone much — so we wonder if she’s seeing daycare works chat on phones during the day??

    Sorry about the PITA truck/laptop issues. ARGH.

  6. Swistle on January 22nd, 2009 12:56 pm

    Oh no! Ack! Hope everyones asses are happier soon.

    Also, I LOVE the way Dylan holds his mouth.

  7. Mary Helen on January 22nd, 2009 1:09 pm

    My 13-month-old daughter does the same phone thing with the remote — cocking her head all to the side. It’s freakin’ adorable.

  8. Red on January 22nd, 2009 2:04 pm

    total suckage. someone broke into mine many years back and stole a vacuum cleaner (It was the final car load of crap moving from one apartment to another). I guess they wanted to clean up their act. Ha! But it is still a violation and sucks. so does dealing with insurance companies.

    My best advice for a long drive? Drive at night drive at night drive at night. Kids will zonk in the car. You’ll be tired, but what else is new? At least you won’t be deaf from all the screaming, too. Plus the look on their faces as they try to figure out why they are in the car in their pajamas in the dark is tres amusing.

    We turned DS’s carseat before he was 1yo too for a variety of reasons. Don’t let the SeatNazis bring ya down.

  9. Katie on January 22nd, 2009 2:29 pm

    Sorry about the break-in! That stinks big time!

    My 3 1/2 year old pulls an imaginary cell phone out of his pocket, pushes buttons, and calls grandma to tattle on us, especially when he’s being punished for beating the tar out of his 2 year old brother! It’s funnier than heck, so it’s hard not to smile when you’re being stern!

  10. Sonia on January 22nd, 2009 5:23 pm

    Now DAMNIT! I’ve been hoping someone would break into and steal my entire (Piece of CRAP!!!!) GMC Yukon for a few years now. Then last week the head gasket blew, so you know, someone could break into it and um…. sit in the driveway?
    I’m so sorry about the break in of JB’s truck, that just SUCKS. Such a violation!! I hope the douche-nozzle that did it gets testicular cancer from using the laptop, and carpel tunnel from programming the nav system. Or something.

  11. Frondly on January 22nd, 2009 5:47 pm

    That part about putting a kid in the trunk: funny, and reminded me of The Glass Castle. Have you read it? If not, it will make you feel like the most kickass mom of all time.
    I could not put it down.

  12. Kim on January 22nd, 2009 9:29 pm

    I love that you are trying to hunt the scumbag down on Craig’s List. I’d be doing the same thing. CSI Sundry(TM). Don’t forget eBay.

    One thing though, breaker breaker, is that a CB radio in JBs truck?

  13. Amy on January 22nd, 2009 11:17 pm

    I was just informed by our apartment maintenence man that the police are concerned about a recent rise in car and home break-ins. The homes are being targeted for flat screen TVs and cars for ANY valuables…even the spare change in the cup holders.

  14. Jennie C. on January 23rd, 2009 8:53 am

    So, as long as they are rear-facing, the trunk is safe?

  15. Nicki on January 23rd, 2009 12:37 pm

    LOL, Pufferfish does the same thing with the remote sometimes! Then again, she also seems to think Elmo Live has a phone in his butt. She holds his butt up to her ear and says, “Hello?”

  16. Allie on January 23rd, 2009 2:59 pm

    Oh my gosh! Stolen laptop is like #1 on my list of worst fears! I’m so sorry to hear it!

  17. sally jo on January 23rd, 2009 6:48 pm

    I’m sure some of Nobama’s homeboys will have fun with the new laptop and navigation system. Yea for welfare!!!

  18. Misguided mommy on February 26th, 2009 8:31 am

    I am so behind I have been meaning to comment on this forever. Back in September my husband and I were getting ready to move to a new house. One day I came home and my oldest son was massivly dirty. So I just opened the front door and told him to go get undressed right away so we could get in the bath. I walked into my bedroom to grab the bath seat and stopped dead in my tracks there was glass all over my floor and the curtains to my slider were blowing in the wind, all of my drawers were dumped out.

    I stopped remembering that my husband had guns in our bedroom, turned, grabbed my kids and bolted to my neighbors…I wasn’t going to get shot with my own gun. It wasn’t until I got next door that I realized my older son was buck naked.

    In the end, they stole my husbands Macbook, my brand new Macbook pro, our Wii, Playstation three, two hand guns, our frigging change jar, a backpack (to put the stuff in) and my fucking 600 thread count egyptian cotton pillow case (also to put stuff in). They stole ipods, my old original nintendo NES, all of our Wii parts, etc. They tore apart our closets, our bed, and broke things. They ripped apart our entire bedroom and living room. They even ripped our sectional in half to retrieve the computer plug from underneath.

    Later we found out they were two teenage boys (now armed with hand guns). Their friends were caught doing other break ins but won’t give up the names of the guys in my house. We had every serial number and nothing has popped up in pawn shops.

    The only positive that came from that is it happened to be about 2 weeks before mac came out with the NEW laptops. So insurance purchased my husband and I brand new mac book pros. Also, shockinly the week before we had our computer guy in town. He had us purchase a 1 terabyte back up and a time capsule. He then backed up every inch of our computers before he worked on them.

    So, in the end, my 10,000 photos weren’t lost, my recipes, my life, it was backed up, on a whim, on accident. I was stunned. What are the odds? I hadn’t backed up a computer in 5 years!


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