Comments on: ‘Roid rage

By: Yeast Infections Chronic

Yeast Infections Chronic — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:36:18 +0000

You never can be too careful with a subject like this people need to take notice.

By: jessica @pianomomsicle

jessica @pianomomsicle — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:29:47 +0000

Congrats on your ROFL. i found you via Mom-101 via Oh the joys :)
Seriously.
9 lbs, 9 oz baby boy. Delivery was a snap, thanks to the epidural.
i was crying, screaming, groaning, and figuring out suicide maneuvers during the 5 HOURS over the course of 8 hours that it took me 4 days after my son was born to “deliver” a mess of nastiness that i distinctly remember resembling the monkey heads in that Indiana Jones movie. i drank the cranberry juice, i took the stool softeners.
Seriously, worst pain of my mother-fuggin life. i warn all my preggo friends: “Take laxatives in secret at the hospital after your baby is born. Your nurse would be mad at you, but i promise it’s worth it!”
My second baby?
Peri-colace within hours after she was born. First poo within 36 hours, and this time i didn’t throw up from the pain. Bonus.
My daughter will always be my secret favorite because of it.

By: Cher

Cher — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:09:57 +0000

I learned the hard way…don’t overdose on milk of magnesia after giving birth. I practically threw my sweet newborn at my mom and still managed to totally poop my pants. That was the nastiest mess I’ve had to clean up in my life!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 04:05:18 +0000

I never would have found you if not for Mom-101 and so glad I did. Thanks for the tears of laughter and recognition-probably a bad word to use in this situation, could be tear or tear :) I’ll be back!

By: Leah

Leah — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 14:29:41 +0000

Oh, the memories! I was able to shock even the postpartum nurse with the size of those lovelies after the birth of my first. Since my babies prefer to come out sunny-side-up the result is particularly horrifying. In fact, after my second was born I had to call the doc to discuss them since one giant one had actually *detached* itself. It warranted a call to the OB’s office.

“Um, yeah, well see I just wanted to know if it’s normal to have a hemmoroid fall off….no, I don’t mean that it just bled. I mean the whole giant thing CAME OFF when I was, you know, treating it….Yes, I’ll hold while you check with the doctor.”

Apparently this is one other thing they don’t tell you about. Frankly, it was like another little birth. It was too big to be lodged there, it hurt for a bit, it bled, but you’re glad when it’s over!

By: Christy

Christy — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 17:00:57 +0000

I too had a C-Section. While I was incredibly fortunate enough to have help at home after we left the hospital, they all seemed to flee the building when I suddenly needed to poo.

Yeah, I had my first “Shitting a Brick” moment with a screaming newborn right outside my door. My milk let down at that very moment too. Fun times.

WHY can’t you find that in any pregnancy book?

By: Merrily

Merrily — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:09:02 +0000

Oh jeezus that is the funniest thing I EVER read and so dang accurate it’s scary. Congrats on your ROFL at Oh, The Joys.

By: Ken

Ken — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:23:59 +0000

Oh My God, you women are such a pain in the butt and everything in child birth is so sweet. I have 9 children and I delivered most of them myself and I didn’t get a single Hemroid, I have two twin little turds, one little poop head, three little stinkers and 1 big a-hole of a son, butt no hermroids, Yall are just so lucky, I want to try again butt my wife said no. I just don’t understand. how could this be! Mabey I was saving the wrong part of the afterbirth or what. Does anyone know.

By: pippa

pippa — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:40:55 +0000

Besides the fact that I laughed ’til I cried (WITH you… always WITH you!), should any poor human come here looking for advice for after a c-section, it is TELL THE NURSES YOU CANNOT GO. They will give you a plethora of medication (including a suppository, but if you’ve experienced that post-c-section BM, a suppository is the least of your concerns) that will, ahem, ASSIST with the process. Much better. Only made that mistake ONCE.

By: iamthediva

iamthediva — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 18:59:01 +0000

oh my god, i laughed out loud.
Brilliant!!
Came over via Five Star Friday!