173 Responses to “Sleep cycles”

1. Catherine on March 9th, 2009 4:11 pm

   I let kid #1 CIO. Kid #2 not so much (they shared a bedroom, we moved, blah blah blah). She’s 3.5 and I’m still paying the price. So, uhm, no advice but I hear ya sister and I wish you luck. Maybe you and Riley need to go stay in a hotel and have JB bootcamp the sleep thing for a weekend? At least you’ll get to swim and order room service.

2. Sadie on March 9th, 2009 4:12 pm

   I have no suggestions, I can’t even keep a fucking plant alive. Just wanted to say: A FAT ANGRY BOTTLE-THROWING HORNET = hilarious!

3. Sadie on March 9th, 2009 4:13 pm

   oh, and also, I can’t wait to hear what Gillian suggests!

4. Stephanie on March 9th, 2009 4:13 pm

   The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a MUST. I don’t know anyone, no matter what the age or gender or personality of their child, no matter what the parenting style of the parent, for whom this strategy has not worked. It is somewhere in between hard-core CIO and touchy-feely attachment parenting – very balanced and rational, although there is, at the end of all the tactical maneuvering, a need to let your child learn to get to sleep and return to sleep unaided, and this, of course, will probably necessitate some crying at first. Three nights, no more. It is magic. Best of luck!

5. js on March 9th, 2009 4:19 pm

   No suggestions, but…for what it’s worth, my daughter is nearly 8 and STILL does not sleep through the night. Thankfully the requests for juice/milk/HOLDMENOWWOMAN have subsided and it’s just a “can you tuck me back in”. And I want to scream “how did you get UNTUCKED?!” Never fails it’s around 3am and it makes me want to cry!

   I’ve heard the crying out method works wonders though. And those people can SUCK IT!

   None of that probably helped though!

6. Melissa on March 9th, 2009 4:19 pm

   That video is adorable! I see you already tried the water in the bottle trick which was what I was thinking. I hate to say it but I think no matter what you do now – it’s going to piss him off. He is taking advantage of you now (not intentionally) and since he knows that the crying makes you do what he wants to do…he cries for you. I would personally try crying it out again. It totally and completely sucks ass but it’s amazing when it works. I have done it with my kids and most recently with my 10 month old son. He has his setbacks now and again with teething and colds, etc. But it’s been working for us. Do whatever it takes – even if it means throwing on your IPod or putting in earplugs. You have the video monitor so you can make sure he is okay at all times. It is complete and utter torture for 3 or 4 nights but he has to learn to comfort himself and put himself back to sleep. You can’t do it for him. And you need your rest. I’m sure a bunch of people will disagree with me but you are suffering and something needs to be done. Good luck!

7. Erin on March 9th, 2009 4:22 pm

   Have you tried cutting out the night time feedings but still going in to soothe him? My son, who is just a few days older or younger than Dylan was a night waker until very recently. We ended up just not feeding him at night but going in to give him his pacifier back and assure him that we hadn’t completely abandoned him. After the first few nights, he realized it wasn’t worth it to wake up if I wasn’t going to feed him.

   Good luck!

8. Ang on March 9th, 2009 4:22 pm

   I agree with Stephanie – HSHHC does work! You may be actually putting him to bed too late depending on when he wakes up, according to the book. My 2nd was up at night until we did do some CIO at about 9 or 10 months. She’s now the best sleeper in the house, nothing wakes her up!

   And this is totally crazy – but my 7 year old was waking up recently – we had a joking conversation – me asking her to tell her sleeping self to please not wake up. It actually worked!

   If you do plan to CIO, and have a basement, sleep there! With earplugs. And a white noise machine set on 11. Good luck!

9. honeybecke on March 9th, 2009 4:24 pm

   (this is very long, sorry!)
   Oh Linda, I know I KNOW! Our 2nd was about Dylan’s age when he was still waking 2-3 times a night and I too was getting seriously pissed off at him for it. I didn’t like feeling mad at him for it, since it was all he really knew from the beginning. He cries at night= Mama and Milk. Why wouldn’t he cry, right? But then it just got to be too much. Way too much. I was a cranky and pissy mom because of the nightly disturbances. Adding to the problem was I would stay up way too late, because duh, that’s MY time right? I wasn’t willing to give up my evening dinking around time by going to be earlier in order to deal with h is night time wakings. So. Big problem. I so get it. We tried keeping him up late, musical toys, rubbing his back but not pickign him up, and god I don’t know what the hell else but nothing worked. NOTHING. We tried to let him cry it out but always caved.
   At his 15 month appointment we finally talked to his doctor about it. Our doctor said there are some kids where nothing will work. But putting them to bed with a kiss, and a “see you in the morning”. He said that if we wanted him to sleep through the night we’d just have to endure the crying. And not cave, not ever. He said be prepared for a week or two of hell. Another thing he said (in a very nice and un-offensive way) that stuck with me was that I needed sleep and I wasn’t getting what I needed and it was affecting my ability to parent the way he knew I wanted to. Oh. Uh. Yeah. Probably right, doc.

   Anyhow, I know you said you wouldn’t try cry it out. I understand that! I did NOT WANT TO. I’m just telling you what finally, thank THE HEAVENS worked for a baby who seriously, nothing else worked for. It took a week and a half of him crying (and yeah, us crying too) for like, an hour and maybe he even made himself throw up once or twice. I’m not happy about that. But he’s fine and he sleeps through the night and I feel good about that. This was def a last desperate attempt for us and damn, it sucked but we got through it.

10. robin on March 9th, 2009 4:24 pm

    first: yuck, sorry.

    second: yes, it’s counterintuitive, but try an earlier bedtime.

    third: an intermediate step on the way to CIO (i’m assuming you’ve read ask moxie on sleeping, and her theory that some kids will get more upset by CIO while some just need to cry a little so they can relax? she’s more eloquent than i feel at the moment): go in without the bottle and pat him and shush him. don’t make eye contact.

    fourth: i guess it would help to give you the origin of these suggestions, which is ‘the no-cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers’

    good luck!

11. Susan on March 9th, 2009 4:25 pm

    I can’t weigh in on the sleeping issue because we don’t have kids. The video of Dylan learning to walk, however? Oh Em Gee. Priceless. What a gift to have that cut together so beautifully – I’m sure it will forever be a cherished piece of his childhood.

12. Nicole on March 9th, 2009 4:26 pm

    Okay I’m still growing this one (and if her in utero activity patterns are anything to base her forthcoming activity patterns on, I am in some big trouble when it comes to sleeping) HOWEVER I did pick up a copy of “The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems” and she details how to do sleep training on older babies as well as newborns and inbetween. She’s somewhere in between attachment parenting and crying it out – she doesn’t believe in allowing a child to cry it out alone, but offers alternative solutions to lead them to self-comforting.

    Blah blah blah. Get the book. Or have JB bootcamp it for a weekend while you go far, far away :)

13. Jan on March 9th, 2009 4:28 pm

    We were in the same boat until last month when I finally got my one year old to sleep. The big thing was to cut out the middle of the night feeding. That changed everything. Instead of giving him a bottle, I would pick him up and rock him back to sleep. This took much longer than me giving a bottle, but necessary. After a couple of nights of this, I stopped picking him up and just went to him and gave him his soother and rubbed his back. A few more nights and I didn’t even go to him and just let him cry. Now he sleeps from 7:00 until 5:30, I give him a soother and he’s good until just after 6:00 which is awesome. Some nights he wakes and gives a little cry but I don’t go into his room. I’m just happy that he is finally sleeping. Good luck!!

14. Angharad on March 9th, 2009 4:30 pm

    CIO in combination with some kind of white noise sounds, either in Dylan’s room to calm him down or through your headphones to block the crying out?

15. Angela on March 9th, 2009 4:33 pm

    I second Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I seriously think you need to put him to bed EARLIER. I know this sounds crazy, but if he gets too tired before you put him down, he’ll be restless and wake himself up all night long. My oldest (now 5) was IMPOSSIBLE to get to sleep and would wake up every 2-3 hours IF we missed his bedtime of 7pm by more than 5 minutes. He still goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps until 6ish. He always slept 7p-7a when he was a baby up until about age 3.5, so long as he was in bed on time.

16. Erica on March 9th, 2009 4:36 pm

    Dude, CIO is a shiteous process but totally worked for my kid. It took 5 or 6 nights before she realized that we weren’t going to cave (which we had ALWAYS done), but after that, we were golden. Now at the age of 2, she rarely wakes up and cries. I hear her talking to herself sometimes, but she always puts herself back to sleep.

    I cannot stress enough how shitty the “training period” is, though. You have to be rock solid in your goal. Both you and JB, that is. If one of you caves, it makes it that much harder for Dylan to learn.

17. Kristi on March 9th, 2009 4:39 pm

    I am so sorry! Sleep deprivation totally sucks and is definitely a viable torture option! Neither of my kids slept all the way through the night until after 2 (!!!!) and I was a psycho-walking-zombie for OH ABOUT 4 YEARS! Anyway, ahem, I don’t have any assvice for you because I pretty much just stuck with the up-and-back-to-bed-in-15 approach – just wanted you to know that they eventually started sleeping through on their own without help from me! There is hope! They are now 4 and 6 and sleep awesome all the time.

    Hang in there!

18. jen on March 9th, 2009 4:40 pm

    My first son (middle child) was like this. He got up between 2-5 times a night varying with age from birth till he was at least 18 months old. It frustrated me to no end but the path of least resistance was to just nurse him and send him on his way. It was what he wanted because he went RIGHT to sleep without any grousing, even though he was usually awake after he finished nursing.

    I never let my kids CIO. One day he just stopped, after having gotten down to just once a night, then it was sporadic, and then it was done. Ther was a definite surge around 1 year of age where I thought we were going down, but suddenly at 15 months I found myself getting up three times a night with him! It drove me to tears, literally, since I was pregnant with his brother and thought that I’d be up with TWO babies. But he did stop on his own, and he knows how to put himself to sleep thankyouverymuch.

    I honestly believe they have needs at night and we should do the path of least resistance thing. Have a bottle made and kick JB out of bed every other night or something. I don’t care what the pediatricians say they aren’t good for the night by X weight! Especially now that he’s just starting to walk, I think he really is hungry. Just my opinion. I am not a dirty hippie but I’m not into CIO either. It totally sucks and I hear your frustration but it does get better, and what will happen will happen no matter what you do.

19. Mimi All Me on March 9th, 2009 4:42 pm

    When I was having trouble with my #1 son waking up multiple times a night, I bought Ferber’s “Your Child’s Sleep Problems” and followed his instructions word for word. After about 4-5 days, he slept through the night and hasn’t had any sleep problems since (he is 3 now). It does suck for most of a week, but it is so worth it in the long run.

20. Kona on March 9th, 2009 4:48 pm

    I don’t really know what type of CIO method you tried, but here’s what worked for my 5-month old:

    I’m breastfeeding, so when he started waking up 2-3 times a night, I eventually just said “to hell with it” and brought him into bed with us and fed him until we both fell asleep (which was usually about 5 minutes). But then, there were some nights that it was just plain uncomfortable for me, and I couldn’t do it any more.

    What we did a few weeks ago was start a very regimented bedtime routine. At 6 pm, he gets fed. Afterwards, he gets a bath, during which I sing to him. After that, I lotion him up and put him in his jammies, at which point we turn on the “rain on the roof” white noise and his daddy comes in and rocks him mostly to sleep and puts him in his crib, and he is asleep by 7.

    The first night, he slept until about 11 or 12, at which point we waited 5 minutes, then instead of feeding him, like I had been doing, we went in there, put in his pacifier and rubbed his head until he calmed down. The next time he cried, we waited 10 minutes and repeated the process. In all, he woke up three times that night, finally waking up for good at 7:30 am, full of smiles.

    The second night he woke up twice, and the third night, he woke up once. Since we started this about two and a half weeks ago, he either sleeps through the night, or wakes up once at around 5, at which point we put the pacifier, rub his head, and get back to sleep five minutes later.

    He cries a little bit, but he’s learned to fall asleep on his own. What’s better, is that he seems to be in a better mood when he wakes up in the morning.

    It’s awesome.

21. Swistle on March 9th, 2009 4:50 pm

    I am snorting at myself for even TRYING to offer a SUGGESTION on a sleep issue, because DUDE. Sleep issues! Are the worst! And if they were solvable by any method, we’d all have used it and have babies who slept through the night. It’s like dieting techniques: if there was ONE diet that worked, no one would be fat. But instead it’s like this MAGICAL COMBINATION LOCK that works for each individual differently.

    Where was I? Oh, yes. My only advice is to stay up during the training. I found I was 100x madder if I had to get out of bed each time I dealt with the baby. If I was sitting at my computer or sitting in the recliner reading a book, I was way less angry and way more able to cope.

    But obv this is not practical if we’re talking (1) all night, (2) every night, (3) for years. I mean more like stay up during the ferocious screaming hours, then sleep until the next batch of ferocious screaming.

22. Amanda on March 9th, 2009 4:53 pm

    I’m not sure what to say, every kid is different and that sucks because how the fuck are we supposed to know what to do with them?

    I think you just might have to CIO. Plan on life sucking for two weeks then hopefully be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t take that long. You can do it. It’s for both of you. It’s not good for him to be getting up that often either.

23. Joy on March 9th, 2009 4:53 pm

    Getting your children to sleep through the night is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do other than potty training. We had a horrible time with our first child. Your experience sounds so similar to mine. He was 19 months old and I really had my fill of getting up at night. I love him dearly, but I was really starting to resent the frequent night wakings. I lived on autopilot at night and during the day. We had done CIO when he was much younger, so I knew he could fall asleep on his own. He just couldn’t stay asleep. We ended up having to re-do CIO with the night wakings. Not thrilling to have to do it more than once. In fact it was torture for all parties involved. After a few nights he was eventually sleeping through the night. Contrary to some people’s belief system he is not scarred for life. He is now a happy, well adjusted 5 year old who sleeps 12 hours at night.

    We followed Dr. Weissbluth’s CIO method.

24. Aneets on March 9th, 2009 4:54 pm

    Sadly there is no easy solution- Dylan could be my youngest daughter. I dabled in CIO a few times before she turned 1 but would always cave- as you say, it’s so tempting when you’re tired and know you could be asleep again in 10-15 minutes!

    I finally had to accept that though CIO felt like torture, the constant waking wasn’t far off either.

    I just gritted my teeth and got through it and she began sleeping through within 4 or 5 days. They were LONG days though. Good luck.

25. Jay on March 9th, 2009 4:57 pm

    Not just an iPod (which I fully credit with preventing the defenestration of my first daughter), but an iPod with noise canceling headphones! The full over-the-ear plug into your 80s hi-fi set kind (Bose are ideal, but there are cheaper ones almost as good). It’s not a total block on the heart-wrenching scream, but it kind of pushes it into the background, like the annoying but ignorable bass thumping from the idiot with the spinning rims who just pulled up next to you intent on sharing his musical taste with the world through seismic waves.
    It makes tolerating the screaming worlds easier for me, so I can focus on my audio book instead of wondering just how high up a second story window is.

26. Jessica on March 9th, 2009 4:57 pm

    I read all the books (7 or 8, I was that desperate) and none of the techniques worked for us outright. My daughter progressed from waking once or twice a night to nurse, to waking every hour and needing to be rocked back to sleep, and then to refusing to sleep at all except in my arms. This was at 10 months old. There were no naps during the day, either. It was sleepless hell, and I begged doctors for a solution but of course they weren’t any help. Finally I tried my own version of sleep training and combined tips from several books (baby whisperer being my favorite). When she cried, I hugged her and comforted her without picking her up and then laid her back down. She stood back up, I laid her back down. I did that over and over and over again, all the while singing a lullabye (more for my sanity than anything). The first night it took 2.5 back-breaking hours before she eventually passed out. The second night took an hour. The third night took 10 minutes. The fourth night she went to sleep on her own and slept 12 hours. After that I did the same thing at naptime, and she’s been a great sleeper ever since. I think the key for her was that I didn’t leave her when she was upset, but I also sent a clear message that it was time to sleep. Good luck!

27. Swistle on March 9th, 2009 4:59 pm

    Oh, did I say my “only” advice? Because I have one more thing. When I wanted to cut out the night feeding(s), what I did was take the baby into the kitchen, get a sippee cup out of the fridge, and stick it in the scream hole. Repeat each time. Some of my babies accepted this and went back to sleep. Others of my babies were INFURIATED by my FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND, but when it was all they got offered again and again during the night, they sort of stopped expecting the cozy recliner and the warm feeding. But these were nursing babies who had already started taking a cup during the day, so this may not be even remotely applicable.

28. Kate on March 9th, 2009 5:02 pm

    I was in about the same place when my daughter was a little bit younger – about nine months, I think – but I wasn’t really up for crying it out, either.

    So this is what worked for us, and it is similar to some of the other comments: we put in place a strictly regimented bedtime routine and put in her crib sleepy but awake. And then, that was it – I would not, under any circumstances, take her out of her crib. I would leave her room, wait the few seconds for her to cry, then go back in there (although I’d be a little slow about it, maybe wait a minutes) and rub her back, sing her a song, give her her pacifier, hug her (while she stood up), or do whatever to make her happy, but I wouldn’t feed her and I wouldn’t take her out of her crib. I’d just keep telling her to lie down, or whatever, and then once she calmed down I’d leave. If she started crying again, I’d go back in and do in all over again.

    It was pretty brutal (for me, not her), but it only lasted about a week. A week during which my husband slept peacefully, I might add. After a couple of nights it was better, and by the end of a week, ten days at the most, I would put her down, say goodnight, turn out the light, and she would literally roll over and go to sleep until morning. It was wonderful.

    And she still does, basically, except for a slight case of 18 month sleep regression that seems to be on its way out.

29. annie on March 9th, 2009 5:05 pm

    They say you forget the pain of labor, and that may be true, but you never forget those mind-numbing months when the child wouldn’t sleep.
    One night, in utter despair, I went in and went to sleep on the floor next to his crib. I didn’t pick up him because I was really ticked off at the screaming diaper ball, but he could see me. He stopped crying after he realized I wasn’t going to pick him up and went to sleep in a little while. After that I wised up and send husband in to sleep on the floor. After the boy was asleep, he would come back to bed. It only took about two weeks before the child stopped waking up every night. I know that sounds like forever, but we were desperate.
    Once we got him over the hump, the child would wake up occasionally. Sometimes husband would go in. If he was out of town, I’d go in, arrange some blankets on the floor to look like an adult and crawl out when the child wasn’t looking. Eventually I wised up and would just arrange the blankets on the floor before I went to bed at night. Just remember to kick them out of the way before the kid wakes up or he’ll be on to you.

30. dorrie on March 9th, 2009 5:14 pm

    FUCKIN A.

    I hated having my kids CIO but it was the ONLY thing I could do because I was going to lose my mind. It SUCKS huge, hairy donkey balls and you and JB have to agree to do this thing together (of course my husband never woke up anyway so it was easier for him, butthole) and then just strap on, sister. It’s worth it and I promise there’s no (permanent) damage.

31. victoria on March 9th, 2009 5:15 pm

    I think you should leave JB alone with the kids for 10 days. Let him figure it out.

32. Jennifer on March 9th, 2009 5:16 pm

    Our method is CIO Ferber style with a strict bedtime routine and not taking the baby out of the crib once she is in it. But since each kid is different, I know that’s not too helpful.

    The one thing I did think of when seeing the watered down bottle was that I’ve read that you offer slightly less and less formula over time rather than water it down.

    God, sleep is just the one thing that caused me the most problems with the post-newborn, pre-toddler stage. That and being behind with the gross motor skills, but at least fixing that occurs during daylight hours.

33. Cass on March 9th, 2009 5:20 pm

    We have sleep issues too. Lexi was sleeping and then one day she decided she should get to eat at 2:30. And then she thought that she should get to eat at 5:30 too. I’m tired. I’ve tried to swaddle her again because that had her sleeping through the night at 2 months old and here we are at 7 and she gets out of the swaddle before I have the sound machine on. The CIO thing hurts me- I can’t hear her crying for me and not go to her. I want her to know that when she cries Mommy will be there. I’m not projecting any issues – lol. What I need her to do is not cry in the middle of the night. Or I need to be given a week spa vacation in tropical location while husband lets her cry it out because he doesn’t hear her at night. He believes every night is a great night. So I’ll be coming back here tomorrow to see what people have to say. Thanks for throwing this out into the sphere.

34. Debby on March 9th, 2009 5:23 pm

    My daughter is 14 and I still remember the horror of getting up every 2 hours with her until she was over a year. My husband worked nights, so I got no relief at all.

    Desperate, I went to my pediatrician and after he quit laughing that I had allowed it to go along for so long he told me that I needed to buy a pair of ear plugs, get a fan in my room for white noise, one for her room turned away from her for white noise and to let her cry.

    That first night was the longest night of my life and I think I cried more than she did, but it worked. Within 3 nights she was sleeping most of the night, within a week all night.

    It was horrible, but after that first night of more than 3 hours of interrupted sleep it was worth every tear.

    Once she slept through the night her personality, which we already thought was great improved dramatically. She took better naps, was happier and when she was happy we were happy. She also started sleeping until about 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning.

35. Anyabeth on March 9th, 2009 5:27 pm

    Oh dude I am SO SORRY. Because well, I am sure everyone can sympathize how hard it is.

    We are in a similar situation. My one year old sleeps almost all night. She goes to bed at seven and usually wakes up at five. This worked for MONTHS for us because I happen to get up for work at five. I would feed her and settle her in and then her dad would get her up for the day. And I think a lot of people would just go with ten hours of sleep in a row (but believe me my kid needs 12).
    But now I want her to sleep straight through. And while I was willing to let her cry at night and still make her tough it out if she wakes up too early (like three am) (and GOD it is awful the first week and now not a big deal, like thirty seconds of screaming but it is still hard so I understand not wanting to do it no matter what). What is working so far is cutting out the feeding. She is fully off of that feeding and now I just have to go in there, lay her back down and tell her it’s still night. I think she legitamately isn’t sure. In a week or two I think I am just going to let her re-settle herself. So it’s a super slow version of what the poster above said. Not the instant fix I really want but less painful than the full monty. MAYBE

36. Amanda on March 9th, 2009 5:29 pm

    My second kid KILLED me with the not sleeping (no seriously NOT EVER). I tried everything including hard core CIO and it still took me 2.5 years to get her to sleep through the night.

    Are you rocking him to sleep? Because if so he probably needs to learn to fall asleep on his own so he can do it without you in the night. My other assvice would be to just cut the night feedings entirely – go to him, rock him, but no bottles. He’ll be pissed, but at this point, he’s going to be pissed no matter what you do. If you don’t cut the feedings now, you’ll have to do it eventually and you might as well rip the bandaid clean off all at once.

    Whatever you decide to do, at first you’ll get less sleep, so be prepared for that and maybe try starting the new method on a weekend so JB can let you nap the next day.

    GOOD LUCK, man. Not sleeping SUCKS.

37. sarah on March 9th, 2009 5:29 pm

    After a year we let our first cry it out and it was LIFE CHANGING!! The second night she fell asleep standing up in the crib – her little head resting on the corner of the crib. I’ve done it for the next 2 and they all sleep through the night. The way I look at it is sometimes they cry when you put them in the car seat, but you are doing what is best for them and you and your family as a whole. Good Luck.

38. Beth Fish on March 9th, 2009 5:29 pm

    Whatever sleep advice I offer, I would consider you wise to do precisely the opposite seeing that Mia slept through the night at 21 months and Owen is 13 months and showing no signs of taking up the habit. However, night weaning made a tremendous difference with Owen. I did it gradually, first no milk until 2 AM, then 3 then 4 and now we are at a 5 AM milk call, which I can deal with. Sucked donkey balls for about a week each time I pushed it back, but he eventually decided that since he wasn’t getting any boobage he may as well just sleep.

39. samantha jo campen on March 9th, 2009 5:32 pm

    I used “No Cry Sleep Solution” and it worked great. I know she has a book like that for toddlers. Like Swistle said, what works for one doesn’t work for another so I’m not saying MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY. I’m just saying.

    Also: hel-LO white noise! Couldn’t live without it. We have a $13 box fan from Walgreens and face it towards the wall so it’s not blowing in the room. The noise is the key. We have one for our room too because it helps downplay the URGENCY of Theo’s crying/screaming. We can hear him over the monitor for sure, but it’s less RED ALERT RED ALERT and more “hey, go check on that will ya?” Also, if Riley is having trouble sleeping through Dylan’s injustices I recommend one for his room too–works WONDERS.

    Also, is your bed time routine always the same? I’m sure it is but thought I’d throw that out there.

    Other than that I can’t offer anything but the utmost sympathy. God speed good woman to the Land Of Nod.

40. Tiff on March 9th, 2009 5:35 pm

    My daughter is the same age as your boy, and she didn’t start sleeping through the night until a few weeks ago. I was on the same page as you. I couldn’t stand to hear her scream, and she would go on for HOURS, until I caved and ran in there. I was actually wondering if you rock him completely to sleep for his naps during the day, or if you just lay him down awake and let him work it out. That was how I started the CIO thing. It’s easier during the day because you aren’t trying to sleep while your baby screams. It’s also easier on them because there is daylight, and it’s not so scary. Once I got her to start settling herself down for naps I stopped rocking her to sleepiness in the evening. I sat her on the floor and read a story to he and my 3 year old. When we were done I put her in the crib, and turned on her aquarium deal, and let her figure it out. Once she was able to soothe herself to sleep (read: 2 weeks) she started sleeping through the night. It was a process, and some nights I did end up in her room rocking, but sure enough it started to work. So I have been sleeping through the night (more or less) for a few weeks now. Unless she gets a cold. Then I’m fucked.

41. Pete on March 9th, 2009 5:36 pm

    Let him cry it out. Worked for me.

42. jen on March 9th, 2009 5:37 pm

    Someone’s already suggested it but my first thought was earlier bedtime. We used the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book as well. Some people hate it but it worked for us.

    Mine goes to bed by 6:30. It’s ridiculous and as a full-time working parent it nearly kills me that I only get to spend an hour and half in the evening with my son. In fact, it makes me angry to write that right now because I want more time with him. But I have found the later we keep him up, the crazier he becomes, which in turn makes me crazy and then he starts waking up in the night. So it is early to bed early to rise for us. Now he sleeps from 6:30 to about 4:30 or 5:30, then he’ll go back to sleep until 6:30 or 7:30. Eventually I’ll drop the 5 a.m. feeding but he’s still under a year and don’t ask me how I’ll do that when the time comes…I have no idea.

    I would agree you shouldn’t mess with the nap. Another thing to consider is re-introducing the morning nap? The HSHHC book suggests that occassionally for babies under 2 I think. We switched daycares recently and mine has given up his morning nap even though he is not ready to (he gladly takes a morning nap on the weekend). Which is also why we have such an early bedtime for him. At the old daycare, he was getting two naps and would go to bed a bit later, around 7.

    In summary, earlier bedtime, maybe try and occassional morning nap, CIO. It will suck and sometimes you’ll question yourself on it (last night mine was crying so much I had to go in there…so I say I am a firm believer in CIO but there are times you just know it is not “oh hai, milk plz” and sure enough today he has a raging ear infection but those times are now so few and far between and you “just know”).

    Sorry this is long but I so feel for you because I was up last night so much and feel like a zombie today. I don’t know how you’ve functioned for as long as you have.

43. Shawna on March 9th, 2009 5:48 pm

    Have you tried putting him to bed earlier? I hear this often helps, though it wasn’t any magic bullet in my household.

44. Badger on March 9th, 2009 5:51 pm

    I didn’t have time to read all the comments, so my apologies if this is a repeat comment. But I wholeheartedly support CIO. The key is to STICK WITH IT. Do not give in once you start – that will just reinforce the crying. And, I hope this doesn’t sound bitchy, but why isn’t JB helping out at night once in a while? Maybe you guys worked out that he would do morning duty if you did night duty, but right now it seems unfair (to me). That is total assvice, but maybe you’ll find it helpful

45. Kirsten on March 9th, 2009 5:56 pm

    Another vote for an earlier bedtime. I know all kids have different sleep needs but when my daughter was that age, she was taking 2 solid naps per day and went to bed around 6:30-7. I can’t quite believe it but I know it’s true.

    How does he go down when you first put him down? If you’re not CIOing for that, then do it at that time. It may carry over to his other wakings. If he’s already falling asleep on his own (CIO or not) then you might have to bite the bullet on the middle of the night. I did all difficult things like that on the weekend when we could take turns sleeping in, so at least one of us was well-slept.

46. Brenna on March 9th, 2009 5:58 pm

    I was having the same thoughts, problems, cave-ins at my daughter’s 9th month. I think I actually wrote a near-identical entry. What our pediatrician suggested was simple and genius, and for us, at least, it has worked.

    Listen for the cry, wait a few minutes (we tried to get in there pre-hyperventilation) pick up baby and repeat the bedtime routine – for us it’s the click of a nightlight, turn on the sound soother. Then put baby back in bed. He’ll cry again, and you’ll repeat the whole thing again. We went from 3x to none within 2 weeks. There was no blood-pressure spiking CIO and Anna worked it out in no time. My boobs caught on pretty quick too so I was still able to roll over in bed at 2am.

    I feel you, good luck man.

47. Courtney D on March 9th, 2009 6:05 pm

    I highly HIGHLY recommend the ‘wake-to-sleep’ and ‘pick-up; put-down’ methods as described in the Baby Whisperer Books. Both are no nonsense plans that fall nicely between the extremes of attachment parenting and the CIO crowd. Interestingly, both are somewhat counter-intuitive, but have worked flawlessly AND WITHIN DAYS! for both my babies.
    GOOD LUCK AND KEEP WITH IT- You’re on the right track!

48. Lesley on March 9th, 2009 6:05 pm

    I am no expert on these things but totally back whatever you decide because you need sleep and getting up three times a night is ridiculous, especially when you’re working (but even when you’re not) is ridiculous, since being mom to two kids is a full time job anyway.

    There may be a way to wean him back to once a night and from there to zero.

    A couple of things. Feed him enough before he goes to sleep that he’s satiated. When he wakes up the first time, try not bringing the bottle in. Just hold and soothe and put him back to bed. If he’s grumping when you put him down, stay in the room without holding him or touching him until he settles. Just your soothing voice. (I can already hear the Parent Dishers sending lightning bolts my way for this.)

    Second time, have JB go in (maybe this can be a weekend trial?). A bottle may or may not be required but I’d avoid bringing it in. I don’t know how hungry kids get overnight. The trick is the food though because as long as he’s used to being fed overnight, he’ll continue to want to be fed and he won’t sleep until morning. He’s also timed to wake up for the food at specific times in the night so you need to change it up.

    Third time (5 am), bring him a bottle. This is ideal because if the kid slept from when you first put him down to, say, five and you were in bed by, say 10 the night before, you could probably cope with being up at five and feeding him anyway.

    Any variation of the above as long as you’re changing it up. Right now he’s habituated to being fed at specific times and he wakes up for that.

    It may take a few nights to wean him off of his habit, but it will be less acutely painful for you and him.

    I know, it’s kind of like ripping off the proverbial bandaid on a hairy arm isn’t it.

49. dcfullest on March 9th, 2009 6:07 pm

    I also vote for earlier bedtime, it works for a lot of kids. And it generally doesn’t effect their wake-up time or only makes it later.

50. Sarah Ross on March 9th, 2009 6:19 pm

    The earlier bedtime works for us. I kept moving it up by 15 minutes with both of my kids, and they kept sleeping until the same time in the morning. I got to 6:30, and suddenly my daughter went from waking twice to sleeping 12 hours. Magic.

51. Jean on March 9th, 2009 6:21 pm

    What I did may not work for you, BUT, hell, it worked for me:

    White noise (humidifier or air cleaner)

    Attachment toy/blanket

    Bed time: 7PM

    CRY IT OUT.

    This is your first chance to teach your child independence and self soothing. He will continue to wake up and cry for you until he learns that 1. you are not going to respond and 2. he CAN go back to sleep on his own. He does not need to be fed. He does not need anything. He wants YOU to cater to him and he is manipulating you.

    Start on a Friday and expect no sleep. And STICK TO IT or your efforts were wasted.

    Whatever you choose to do, I hope you get the sleep you need. I could die thinking about my life when I had to keep getting up. UGh.

52. Swiggy on March 9th, 2009 6:23 pm

    I haven’t read the rest of the responses, but is it possible his bedtime is too late? We’ve been putting the Chipmunk down between 6:30 and 7 since he was three months old. At about four months old he only woke up once or twice each night. He’s been sleeping through for about 2 months, unless he’s ill. Also, when I really, really wanted to break the habit of him waking up when I didn’t want him to I started waking him up for a bottle right before I was ready for bed. Once he got used to this he dropped a night waking. When he stopped waking at night at all, I stopped waking him up. It’s what worked for us, hope it works for you.

    Oh, and I was wondering, when he wakes in the middle of the night are you giving him a bottle and then rocking him back to sleep? My routine was change diaper, give bottle, put straight back in bed. Since he was able to put himself back to sleep on his own, it was a great help in getting him sleeping better.

53. Kate on March 9th, 2009 6:23 pm

    I’ll just throw this out there because I think it was part of our issue, but have you ever had Dylan tested for food allergies? Unbeknownst to me, my daughter was allergic to milk and we didn’t find that out until she was about 12 months old. There were no visible signs, like hives or anything, but according to the allergist, milk allergies generally cause tummy upset. (Oh! Except the allergist did say sometimes that lingering cradle cap/crusty head and/or dry spots on the skin can be indicative of a milk allergy. Does D have anything like that?)

    My daughter did not sleep thru the night until about 22 months, and I think having spent the first year of her life uncomfortable contributed to that, and by the time we got the allergy sorted out, it was too late – the bad sleep
    habits were already in place. And then there was the guilt that kept me getting up with her, but I tried most everything you have (except the CIO) and eventually she got there. She’s still not a great sleeper at 3.5 but usually sleeps thru unless she has to go potty.

    So while I agree that all kids are different and there is not one single solution, ruling out anything medical (like allergies) would be a good first step. Just a thought.

    I hope you get some rest soon. I feel your pain and totally “get” the waking up angry and resentful in the middle of the night. I had the same knee-jerk reaction and then of course felt awful about it, even though it faded quickly. But who wants to have anger be the reaction you have towards your kid?

    Hang in there. :)

54. sundry on March 9th, 2009 6:26 pm

    I wish we could do an earlier bedtime but history indicates 7:30 is the very earliest we can do — otherwise, no matter how tired he seems, he lies in there screeching. At his current bedtime, I give him a bottle and pretty much put him down with almost no rocking and he puts himself to sleep. He does this during naps too, it’s just the late-hour wakenings he can’t seem to get over.

    All good ideas in this thread, thank you guys!

55. Lindy on March 9th, 2009 6:28 pm

    Tip 1: CRY IT OUT
    Tip 2 : CRY IT OUT!!
    Tip 3: Do it on a Friday because you’re not getting any sleep
    Tip 4: CRY IT OUT
    Tip5: STICK TO IT
    It’s going to suck. He will cry and moan and manipulate but stick to your guns. He needs to learn that you are there- go in and check on him the first he cries so he doesn’t think you’ve abandoned him but then after you’ve checked that he doesn’t have say a foot stuck between the rails go back to bed and the the kid scream himself silly. Eventually it will work and you will thank us later.

56. Ellen on March 9th, 2009 6:34 pm

    I have no experience, thus no assvice, but I second Catherine’s suggestion that you go away for the first few nights and let JB handle it. Preferably to a hotel with a spa and very good room service. You can even come home during the day between massages!

57. Swiggy on March 9th, 2009 6:34 pm

    Almost forgot, I (unintentionally)made the bottles I was giving him at night a little colder than the ones he was getting during the day. This made him stop drinking sooner than he would normally and eventually made him realize that it wasn’t worth the hassle of waking up if he was only going to get a cold bottle.

58. Gina on March 9th, 2009 6:35 pm

    Well, shoot me now, but I am a total cry it out person. The girls do occasionally get up in the middle of the night now, but my husband does the middle of the night pats on the backs and soothing to go back to sleep…I know I am so lucky!

    OMG…that is the cutest video!

59. sooboo on March 9th, 2009 6:35 pm

    I want to preface my comment by saying that I do not have a kid, so I’m not going to comment on what you should do with your kid. I do however have a snoring husband who I sometimes want to smother with a pillow. I know a little something about sleep depravation. You said you used earplugs and they did not work. If you used the foam kind, they don’t work. You have to get the soft wax kind and warm it in your hand for like five minutes before you stick it in your ear. In addition, you can turn on a fan or white noise machine thingy. You won’t hear a thing, if that’s your goal.

60. kristylynne on March 9th, 2009 6:42 pm

    Have you tried waking him up for a bottle right before you go to bed? That might buy you one less late-night feeding.

    Other than that, I have no idea. My own kid didn’t sleep thru until after he was one. I was a zombie. Read every book and tried every tactic before finally concluding that the kid was just not going to sleep thru until he was good and ready. And he eventually did. Hang in there.

61. wealhtheow on March 9th, 2009 6:53 pm

    Random suggestions–just throwing out anything I think might work.

    My Sam gets his lullabies at night on the iPod, but he also has a Fisher Price aquarium in his crib, and every so often I’ll hear him turn on the music to help soothe himself back to sleep.

    Maybe have JB go in so he doesn’t expect milk from you? I know this is usually advised for nursing moms, but if you’re the one who’s always going in with a bottle maybe he’ll be more accepting of Dad coming in to give a hug sans bottle and put him back in bed.

    Does he have a lovey? I just started putting the same two animals in with Sam since he was about 6 months old–if Dylan doesn’t have a lovey yet you can help him create one by giving him the same animal or blanket (or whatever) during comfy cozy times–while you’re rocking him or reading to him or giving him a bottle. Basically any time he’s getting special mummy time the lovey is there too, and then at night he has his lovey to help him cope with not having his mom.

62. little miss mel on March 9th, 2009 6:54 pm

    We used/using Baby Whisperer: Solves All Your Problems book. With my first, we did it when he was 9 months plus. With current baby, we started early. Have waived through teething and breathing issues, but are sticking to the plan.

    It used to be pick up/put down when he was littlier. Then it was lay back down, lay back down (you’re not going anywhere buddy besides sleep) but that got us stuck in the room till he would fall asleep.

    Now, being almost 11 months, we have converted her methods to her latest method of walk in, walk out. We put him down, walk out. He cries, wait 5 seconds and IF he is standing in crying, we go back in there and do it all again. Having the video monitor is priceless. That way, if he is just crying, but not standing, we wait. The other night, he cried, but fell back over and went to sleep.

    Worked for us, might not for you, but it felt like the right thing to do for our boys.

    good luck. you can definitely nip this in the bud in a week.

63. Andrea on March 9th, 2009 6:56 pm

    And here I was feeling all guilty when I was muttering “God damn it to HELL kid!” to myself all those nights!

    Actually, it was more like, “God-fucking-DAMMIT”, but hey, whose nit-picking at 3am?

    I have no real advice, but I can offer, a la Moxie, this WILL end. He will absolutely be sleeping through the night by high school.

64. JudithNYC on March 9th, 2009 6:57 pm

    Maybe the persons who suggested that you let your husband deal with the issue were joking, but that’s just what I did. I had twins and was lucky that one started sleeping through the night before he was two months old, but the smaller one kept waking up and driving me crazy. You know, sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason. At some point, I don’t remember exactly but my baby was less than a year old, I went to my mom’s and let my husband deal with the CIO. I don’t think it was unfair, he was much calmer than me and better able to stick to the plan. Plus he had guilt tripped me into making some extra money by taking care of the neighbors’ three kids (5 kids under 3 total!) you know I needed that uninterrupted sleep.

65. Shelley on March 9th, 2009 7:07 pm

    Sacrifice a weekend and try “The Baby Whisperer” method – http://www.babywhisperer.com/babywhisperer.html

    We did word for word was was outlined for the first week, then tweaked it for us/our baby for the next couple of weeks and now we have a 5 month old that *almost every night* sleeps from 7:30 until 7 when I have to go in and wake her up.

    Our 3 year old we did a sort of Ferber CIO thing and until very recently – well since we sleep trained by baby at 3 months – it was our 3 year old that was causing us the most issues around sleeping.

    Good luck. I don’t know how you are surviving. Honestly. I just want to give you a hug – and immediately after a blanket and a pillow.

66. Dana on March 9th, 2009 7:08 pm

    My 11 month old goes to bed between 6:45 and 7, because a few years ago, before I was even married, I read on this site that Riley’s bedtime was 6:45, and I said to myself that if I ever had a kid, it was going to sleep that early god dammit!

    So here’s my advice, since I took yours years ago:

    1. Feed him a lot at night. Starting at 5, my daughter gets a plethora of food and milk. She eats her dinner, she eats our dinner, etc.

    2. Put him to bed between 7-7:30 right after his last big bottle for the night.

    3. Don’t feed him when he wakes up during the night. In our house, the rule is no bottle before 4am. You can go in there when he wakes for the first week and verbally soothe but no bottle and no picking up. After a week, no going in.

    Kids are like dogs and you just have to train them. I try to always remember, we are the adults. We are in charge. We make the rules. We are smarter.
    Good luck!

67. Larisa on March 9th, 2009 7:13 pm

    At least you were lucky that you’re older one was a good sleeper. Neither of mine have been. Each kid is different, but here’s what I’ve found about both: they really, really need practice getting themselves to sleep ON THEIR OWN (for me that reads: modified CIO with some TLC from me when I feel they need it rather than want it), and they need you to lay down the law. At first I just didn’t feel like I could handle the whailing in the middle of the night, so I at least made them go to sleep on their own at the beginning of the night. Get him cozy and sleepy doing whatever works, but put him down before he’s asleep. Then let him work it out. I usually would still come in every few minutes to let him know I’m there, but no picking him up.

    We did this for about a week, and we’re in a much better place with our 1 year old. He will wake up and conk back out on his own now, or possibly need a little back patting only once in awhile. My oldest didn’t really get the hang of it consistently until he was 1 1/2 yo. We started sleep training earlier with the younger one and have been getting more sleep earlier too. The key, though, is really to stick with it and be consistent. I know how you’re feeling right now. I had to hit that place before I was able to deal with the crying. I’m way too much of a softie.

68. iidly on March 9th, 2009 7:25 pm

    Linda, if you have ruled out a sleep disorder with your physician you can try one of these methods.

    http://www.babycenter.com/0_big-story-new-sleep-training-guidance-for-tired-parents_1524201.bc

    We were lucky with Nick, he slept through the night at 8 weeks. I feel for you. Take care.

69. Blythe on March 9th, 2009 7:29 pm

    All kinds of good advice above. I know you’ll figure it out.

    Mostly, I’m just commenting to tell you how adorable it is to hear JB call him “Little D.”

70. Amy on March 9th, 2009 7:29 pm

    I have no suggestions for you, because stuffing the kid full of food before bed is what FINALLY worked for us. But I just want you to know that I wholeheartedly sympathize with you and hope you can conquer this REALLY SOON.

    I have no idea how you’ve survived it for this long – I become an angry retarded clumsy lumbering goon that cannot even work an elevator (HELLO, THEY’RE BUTTONS – WITH LABELS) when my sleep gets interrupted that many times in one night. Recently I broke down into sobs in the middle of the night when we had a relapse.

    So I know the importance of uninterrupted sleep and how taxing the lack thereof can be on the rest of your life. I wish you the very best in finding yours.

71. Sandi on March 9th, 2009 7:30 pm

    I feel your pain. I use to get angry, resentful, and rage induced over this shit. Our son is 19 months now and didn’t start sleeping through til’ he was 10 months, but of course, had his moments of waking up (they all do).

    I’m not 100% certain that they make it anymore, but Babycenter sold a product online called Baby Zzz’s…. a natural remedy to help induce sleep. Sounds cruel, but it worked on the nights when we were like “hell no, not doing it”. We bought the shit in bulk!!!

    Second: We placed his Fisher Price Rainforest soother thingy on the crib and he would play with that and eventually fall back to sleep. We had taken it off after 6 months, but put it back on when he would not sleep through….. he still has it and if he wakes up at 3 am, he never cries for me! He just listens to his Rainforest music and goes back to bed. Of course having said that, he will wake tonight with a complete mad on!

    Lastly, let him cry it out. I can’t say I was ever good at this. I would cuss my husband out and call him an evil parent b/c I thought it was too much, but after awhile, they chill and get over it. Good luck. I feel your pain.

72. Amy on March 9th, 2009 7:34 pm

    My best advice is: use the anger to your advantage. I.e., when he wakes up in the middle of the night, get mad about it, so that makes it easier to let him scream his little heart out. Don’t lie there feeling sorry for him or feeling like a bad mother, feel mad! That’s what worked for me, though it wasn’t intentional.

    When my 2nd was 9 months old, she was still waking every morning at 4;30 to nurse, the way she had been for MONTHS. Like you, I found it easier to just go in there, nurse her and put her back to sleep. But one night, my husband was out of town and when I put the kids to sleep I inexplicably FORGOT all about nursing the little one. Around 11 pm, I remembered, so I woke her up and nursed her, thinking that at least I would get to miss the 4:30 feeding–since I fed her so late, no way she would be hungry then. Wrong! She wasn’t hungry, her body clock was just trained to wake up at 4:30 no matter what. When she woke up that morning I couldn’t believe it, but since I knew she couldn’t be hungry (our typical last feeding was at 7pm) I let her cry. Then when she KEPT crying, and got more and more adamant about it, I started to get pissed. Especially since she was waking up her brother, the neighbors and everyone else around. That anger allowed me to let her keep crying–and she did–for TWO HOURS. I was sooo pissed. And so was she. But she finally stopped. ANd I decided to just go with it since we’d already suffered for one night. The next night she woke up at the same time, and cried for 45 minutes. The next night, 15 minutes. And THAT WAS IT. She’s been happily sleeping through the night ever since (she’s 4-1/2 now).

    In any event, Good luck! And that video was extremely cute.

73. Eva on March 9th, 2009 7:44 pm

    I have no advice. I have had no success in directing when or how often small children want me in the night. I think it is very hard to control this. Uh, until they are old enough to reason with. Of course that never works either. So sorry. Been there.

74. Jenny on March 9th, 2009 7:46 pm

    I have twin sisters who are 12 years younger than me. They didn’t sleep through the night until they were well over 2. One parent would take 1 downstairs on the couch and the other would get the upstairs and the bed—the next night they would switch.

    Anyway, I promise EVENTUALLY Dylan will sleep through the night. But until then—I’d try the cry it out method.

75. Sleepyita on March 9th, 2009 7:55 pm

    This is what I do for a living. Kinda. I do Sleep Disorders and Pediatric Sleep Medicine. Of it makes you feel better my own boy never slept through the night until 18 months (ha probably made you feel even worse) and woke up 3 times a night until one day magically (after a week of CIO) he slept. Now at 2 1/2 years old he sleeps 12 hours through the night AND takes a 2-3 hour nap. MY 3 month old however has slept 12 hours strait since 9 weeks. Little bugger won;t nap though.

    Anyways if you need help email me.

76. Josh on March 9th, 2009 7:55 pm

    OK, as we’ve established Linda, I am not a baby expert, but I am frighteningly good at outside the box problem solving, to the point where my genius sometimes feels like a burden. So here are just a few ideas off the top of my head.

    1 – Remote controlled morphine drip. Think of it like turning a frown upside down, but instead you’re turning that insomniac into a narcoleptic. (not to be confused with a necropheliac, which is probably outside your comfort zone even if you are not religious)

    2 – Hitting. I’m not sure how old you’re supposed to let your kid get before you start hitting them, but I know my parents were whopping my little ass from before the time of my earliest memories. If there’s two things we can learn from Hitler it’s that anything can be accomplished with the right oven, and fear is a compelling tool for control. (also, barbed wire or electric fencing on the crib would be something to consider)

    3 – Blood money. This may seem a little extreme at first, but bear with me. (or is it bare with me? I don’t know, fuck it) At some point during blood loss you pass out right? But you don’t die, right! So maybe just harvest a little each night (from the kid, not you. As the mother you will probably need your blood more, as well as having the bonus of putting him to sleep) and sell it to blood banks or vampires or pagans or whatever, and when you’ve saved up enough to build a sound proof cell/bedroom for your kid, you can stop.

    There’s no need to thank me, I consider my brilliance a public service, like frying eggs on TV to convince stoners to quit drugs, or hunting the homeless.

77. Tara on March 9th, 2009 8:01 pm

    We eventually cried it out when my son was ten months old. I didn’t want to, and I tried every method I could find before doing that, but the kid wasn’t sleeping even if I kept him in bed with me all night long. So, we used a book/dvd called the Sleepeasy Solution. http://www.sleepyplanet.com/products/
    I must have read 12 different books about sleep training. This is the one that worked for two reasons:
    1. It was simple and straightforward. (I needed that since I was sleep-deprived.)
    2. It worked in three nights. Within three nights my son was completely night-weaned and sleeping 11.5 hours.
    I used the DVD version, so that my husband could watch it with me, and we could be consistent. This was easier than getting him to read a book.

78. Jamie on March 9th, 2009 8:02 pm

    I am in the exact same situation, only my baby is 9 months old. My first was a champion sleeper since 8 weeks old so I have no idea how to deal with a baby who apparently only needs 2.5 hours of sleep at a time. Keep us posted on what works for you guys, because I’m at a loss myself!

79. becky on March 9th, 2009 8:10 pm

    I did CIO method…with no picking up once he was in the crib when R was 8 month old. It sucked..especially since hubby was living in another state at the time.

80. Anita on March 9th, 2009 8:12 pm

    It sounds like he needs to take baby steps pardon pun, in learning how to comfort himself. Try making each time you go to him shorter and shorter, until he learns to comfort himself back to sleep. Set a timer if you need to.

    Like if it normally takes 30 minutes to rock him back to sleep, try 25 the following night, then 20, then 15.

    If you are summons by him to come back, don’t be tempted to pick him up, but just lay him down and pat his back and say soft words of comfort. It could take you a couple weeks to get him doing this on his own, and you will be tired, but he’ll get the hang of it.

81. Ashley on March 9th, 2009 8:25 pm

    I think you already know what worked/didn’t work for us, CIO. I hated every second of it, but after I was done nursing that was it…I was DONE going in there. If I hadn’t done with O. I am not sure I would have done it with A. I knew it sucked ass for almost a week (like dude you get NO sleep), but then we all slept. The End.

82. zzz on March 9th, 2009 8:27 pm

    I haven’t had this problem, but I wondered if your little one’s room is totally dark or whether there are any lights at all. I’ve always kept my kids’ room totally pitch dark, with no electronic stuff, nothing that makes non-natural sounds, etc. There’s nothing to catch their attention or provide artificial stimulation, so they sleep deeply.

    A few other thoughts:

    * Babies usually sleep better on their tummies. Your son is way past the age of SIDS risk, so you could try tummy sleeping and see if that helps.

    * Turn off the monitor, if you haven’t done so already. It will remove a distraction for him and for you.

    * My kids have little cat-shaped beanbags with some combination of calming aromatherapy stuff (designed for babies). I don’t know if it helps or not, but they have always been great sleepers, so maybe.

    * Encourage attachment to a “lovey” in his bed if he doesn’t already have one. When you go in to comfort/feed him at night, always involve the lovey, so he starts to transfer his “need” to the lovey – which he can reach for without waking you up.

    Good luck.

83. Clueless But Hopeful Mama on March 9th, 2009 8:27 pm

    I’m shocked there aren’t any adamant anti-CIO-ers yet!

    I just wanted to add to the chorus about Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and it’s ideas on CIO. We did CIO with my daughter and she’s been a great sleeper ever since. I agree with the multitudes that say IT SUCKS ASS for a few days (for us the second night was the worst and my husband had to HOLD ME DOWN from going in because I was so crazed.) YOU MUST HOLD FIRM. Extinction is the fastest, easiest and, frankly, KINDEST way. If you let them cry and THEN cave it’s actually setting them up to cry SUPER hard the next time.

84. mrsgryphon on March 9th, 2009 8:29 pm

    Ooooo, totally remember those days!!

    I’ll just say that we did what I call a ‘gentle CIO’ – she cried, but I would go in every minute for about the first 5 minutes, then every 2 minutes for a while, then every 5 minutes. When I went in, I would tell her that it was bedtime, lie her back down, give her her favourite stuffed animal and leave. Rinse, lather and repeat. Over and over again.

    It took a while the first night, much less the 2nd night and by the 4th or 5th night she was going to sleep on her own. We handled night wakings the same way, and it worked then, too. Even though I was a breast-feeding Mom, she eventually clued in that she wasn’t going to get fed and I think she just decided it wasn’t worth waking up anymore!

    Good luck to you, whatever method you end up trying… from one non-morning-person to another!!

85. Jen on March 9th, 2009 8:29 pm

    I’m another one who wholeheartedly endorses Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Like many others here, I will tell you it is HARD. I cried as much as the baby, and wrote a whopping ton of CIO haikus to channel my frustration and to keep me from running into the room to pick up the baby. (Like you, I am a fan of the haiku.)

    My first kid took three nights, each one easier than the last. My second took ten (10!) days. There were good nights and bad nights in there, not all of them were awful. Tell yourself it will be two weeks of hell and everything else is gravy.

    I will absolutely stress one key thing though – if you are going to try CIO again, you and JB have to make a pact that you are definitely going to stick to it. The more often you start the CIO process and then cave in, the more you are teaching him that the crying ultimately WORKS, thereby increasing his resolve and endurance, and torturing everyone needlessly – especially YOU. And lets face it, you’re the one who is going to remember this shit, not Dylan.

    Good luck!

86. anatomist on March 9th, 2009 8:30 pm

    i was up 4-6 times a night with my boy until he was about 9 months old. then we decided it couldn’t go on like that anymore, like you, i am not a morning person and i was downright evil on no sleep. so we bought every sleep book ever written, read way too much shit on how mean cio is, charted his sleep times and wake ups on graph paper, and finally just let him cry. turns out he just needs to holler for a couple of minutes before he can go back to sleep. (i think someone else mentioned askmoxie’s theory on tension-releasers). now he is 18 months and sleeps every night for 12 hours straight. well, except for the evil daylight savings crap. occasionally he wakes in the night, yells for a couple of minutes and then falls back asleep. he wakes up happy at 8 am and we are all better people now.

87. radio on March 9th, 2009 8:36 pm

    Tough it out. You must sleep. Your body craves it and needs several (SEVERAL) solid hours to repair itself and to stay healthy. You are running on adrenaline and it sounds like your limited supply is running out.

    CIO is horribly painful, as everyone has noted. But it works. Might take two nights, might take a week. It will suck. You will want to shoot yourself. You will ask your husband to shoot you. But tough it out.

    I promise that after you’ve slept through the night, you’ll ask why you didn’t do it sooner. Prepare for the pain, know that you have 100’s (thousands?) out here rooting for you.

    You can make it happen.

88. Motherhood Uncensored on March 9th, 2009 8:48 pm

    Sure, I’ll throw my hat into the ring. My then 15 month old (now 2 year old) was doing this and we did the CIO. Would NEVER have worked with my oldest, but it took him two nights.

    We gave him a water bottle sippy cup in bed with him.

    Of course now he calls out to be “wrapped up like a burrito” (I started that nightmare) and then he goes right back down. We’ve been obliging him because well, he goes right back down at least. And I’m up anyway with the baby.

    So, I guess this isn’t really any advice for you.

89. Amanda on March 9th, 2009 9:34 pm

    I haven’t read most of the comments–I am sure they are great but… I have an 8 month old who wakes up EVERY HOUR of the night and has her whole life. We (reluctantly) co-sleep, but that is another story. I am too tired to even think about trying anything–am in survival mode at this point.

    What I wanted to tell you was to read Sandra Tsing Loh’s book _Mother On Fire_. She has a bit in there where she is recalling her early sleep deprived days with her daughter. She says she doesn’t remember much but being awake at 3:00 a.m., turning on every light in the house, and standing over her sleeping husband screaming FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOUUUUU!
    Love that. :)

90. Carolyn on March 9th, 2009 9:37 pm

    I wish I had an answer for you. My son is having the same problems. He is the same age and I have done everything. The difference is that he’s my first so I thought that perhaps I was doing something wrong. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, we cried it out for an ENTIRE MONTH (it didn’t work AT ALL), I let my husband go in at night, we tried attachment style…nothing works, I am spent, often resentful and OVER it. I’m terrified to have another child… Sorry, this probably doesn’t help you but maybe some of your comments will help me.

91. Heather on March 9th, 2009 9:46 pm

    I’m not the first to suggest this, but it worked for both of my boys: DO NOT FEED THE CHILD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. NO MATTER WHAT.

    Even if you have to go in and shush him repeatedly, replace his pacifier 1236898734 times, whatever, to get him through the first few nights. His belly is used to getting a refill and so his body is telling him he is hungry (it’s like when you first start dieting: you’re used to eating more and you feel like you need more food, but after a few days you kind of reach an equilibrium and you’re not as hungry as you were previously). If you stop feeding him, you reset his internal clock. It’s not wrong — he doesn’t need that feeding as much as he needs to sleep. Eventually his internal clock will readjust so that he may eat more during the day to make up for it, and then you all can sleep!

    It’s not necessary to completely ignore him (e.g. you can pat him, pick him up briefly, reassure him that you’re still there, etc.). Once he gets the message that you’re not going to feed him, he’ll stop asking. Took only 2 nights with my first, 4 with my second.

92. Beth on March 9th, 2009 10:46 pm

    Hope you get it sorted, I had night terrors until I was like 10. It’s possibly he’s having bad dreams, even as such a small baby. Sorry :(

93. Naomi in Oz on March 9th, 2009 11:07 pm

    Totally different to everybody else, we left a light on for the boy child. I’m not talking about a woosy little night light. I’m talking about a lamp with a 60 watt bulb in it. I figured that he slept okay during the day when it was light, so it was worth a try. Finally, after 5 years, we have weaned him down to a little night light, but we’ve never had a really sleepless night since. Crying is an indication that the baby needs SOMETHING! The trick is working out what. Maybe he is just scared…

94. Donna on March 10th, 2009 12:50 am

    Beatings. At 2 am, anyone who is awake and in the house gets one. Do not leave out the pets.
    The next night everyone will be too scared to be awake.

    Actually I did scold my daughter, put her down, and walked out. She was so shocked that I wasn’t picking her up, feeding her, loving her all up, etc that she didn’t do it again. If they know that you are not happy with them, they stop. And sleep. She was his age too, old enough to know that I didn’t want her doing what she was doing. So she quit.
    And I love Josh. Alot. He tickles me.

95. Katy on March 10th, 2009 1:49 am

    I can’t do CIO because I’m a huge wuss. So I tried various different things with my darling son, who is 2 and a half and was waking 1 or 2 or 10 times a night. Like you I tried warmer / cooler jammies, different bed times, feeding him etc etc. Even tried sleeping with him in my bed with nearly drove me over the edge. HOW do babies wake up so chirpy when they move around so much?! I had one tiny foot in my groin too many and something had to be done.

    So at 14 months I moved him out of the cot and into a bed. Not a big bed, one of those that are about 2 inches off the floor. And taa-daa he slept! That’s my favourite kind of parenting, the type that requires no effort on my part.

    He still wakes up whenever he is even slightly ill but 6 nights out of 7 he sleeps 12 glorious, glorious hours. And not in my bed!

96. catdoggg on March 10th, 2009 2:58 am

    Health Sleep Habits Happy Child worked for us.
    Good luck!

97. Angharad on March 10th, 2009 3:18 am

    Like zzz I wonder if it’s maybe to do with darkness if he’s going down ok during the daytime but not at night. Maybe nightlights or a light show machine thingy would work.

98. beach on March 10th, 2009 4:15 am

    I think the hardest thing for parents and the “crying it out” thing is that you feel you are not being a good parent…..it is hard to hear your baby cry….but it is teaching them, “hey kid you don’t need this bottle, you need to learn to get YOURSELF back to sleep”…. he wakes up and cries and you are there to soothe him, its all he knows, but now he needs to know different , Let him CRY IT OUT and stick to it!!!….it will work!

99. wn on March 10th, 2009 4:47 am

    We went through our sleep issues earlier (like alot)…but honestly, the CIO was the only thing that resolved our middle of the night wakings. the ONLY thing. And it sucked….but I am SO glad we did it. I think Swistle’s suggestion of trying to be “up for it” (i.e. staying up) is a great one.

    The only thing I might add (there are really good tips) that helped with our son whose about Dylan’s age….and I think this only works if Dylan is consistent in his wake-times…was setting my alarm clock about 10 minutes PRIOR to his waking up…I’d go into his room, wake him gently, shove a pacifier in his mouth….all to interrupt his body’s natural sleep rhythm.

    We started with that….and it cut down the wake-ups from 3-4 to 1-2…and then we let him cry it out….for about 3 nights…and it worked. Good luck, we’re all rooting for you dude….cuz we KNOW it sucks.

100. Eric's Mommy on March 10th, 2009 4:56 am

     My son had no bedroom until we built one when he was about 3. His crib was in our bedroom at the foot of our bed because the room is so small, but most of the time he slept in our bed. It’s kind of hard when they wake up in the middle of the night crying, and can stand up in their crib and stare at you.

101. Carrie on March 10th, 2009 4:58 am

     You have gotten so much advice here, but I just wanted to share our story with you as well. Our son, who is now 4 1/2, loved his bottle, and that was the ONLY way he would go back to sleep at night. It was awful and he continued to wake up 1-3 times a night wanting his bottle to go back to bed. It was so hard NOT to just give in and give it to him because you knew, hey 15 minutes and he will be back asleep and I can go back to sleep too. However, the continual night wakings just wore me down so bad that finally at 18 months (hangs head in shame) we decided to go cold turkey on the bottle. He was only taking a bottle at night at that point, was totally on sippy cups during the day, so one day we just decided to go for it. That night at bedtime, my husband took over and dealt with the wrath of the baby screaming for his “baba.” We decided to let my husband deal with it all because our son was so connected to ME bringing him his bottle. It was seriously 3 nights of him crying and me crying in the other room and Matt getting up with him and then BAM, he started sleeping through the night. Seriously, like 12 hours a night and he never looked back and never mentioned the bottle again. He was just so used to having his bottle to get back to sleep that we had to remove that part of our routine and thank goodness it worked. I think that having my husband deal with the wrath instead of me helped as well. It just broke that bottle/mommy routine all together. He has been a great sleeper ever since. I am currently pg with #2 and am telling myself right now (easy to do right now but wait till I have a screaming infant on my hands) that I will not let them get used to falling asleep with a bottle and wean them off the bottle way sooner than I did last time!

     Good luck to you and I hope that you start getting some sleep soon!! I wish this whole thing didn’t have to be so hard!

102. Violet on March 10th, 2009 5:14 am

     I’m going through the same thing – my oldest just turned 3, and the youngest is 9 months. I’ve been playing music in his room, softly – classical, “sleep baby” cds – and it seems to really calm him. We did it for my daughter because my husband was convinced that Mozart would make her smarter :), but it just really made her calmer and sleep. I wish I had remembered it earlier, because all the nights of listening to him cry and finally going in and feeding him have been wearing me out! I just started playing it for him about 2 weeks ago and it has worked like a miracle! I think it makes him feel less alone in his room, and just relaxes him. Good luck!

103. Sharon on March 10th, 2009 5:22 am

     Not that you would want to ask anyone to do this, but could you have grandma come and do the cry it out for a couple of nights so you don’t have to hear it? You definitely have to do this now before he can get out of the crib and come find you at night. Then you’ll be involved in walking him back to his room all night or letting him get in bed with you. Been there and it’s not easy.

104. Sharon on March 10th, 2009 5:24 am

     You might have this but I found it to be the only helpful sleep book and we had a major sleep problems. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child but Dr. Weisbluth.

105. Tracy on March 10th, 2009 5:56 am

     This might be completely counter-intuitive and ridiculous advice, but what worked for us was putting my daughter to bed earlier. The more sleep she got, the better she slept.

106. Laura on March 10th, 2009 6:01 am

     So, this is the first time I’ve ever offered any assvice, but you asked for it, and I feel for you.

     My son (who’s 3 1/2) slept through the night at 3 mos. It was frigging awesome. My daughter (1 1/2)? Not so much. She was KILLING ME with the getting up 3-5 times a night. I was really convinced she wanted me dead. So, somewhere around 10 mos. we decided to do something about it. And it was haaaarrd. Hard. But you have to do it. We live in a teeny, tiny, old-ass house. We are on top of each other, and there is nowhere to go to escape her wrathful screams. And my kids share a room. So, if we let daughter cry it out, we were ALL going to have to listen to it ALL night long. And that’s what we did. Our son ended up in bed with us most nights, because he couldn’t sleep with her screaming in his ear. We just closed her door and our door, turned a fan up to high to help cancel out the noise, and dealt with it. Eventually, I learned to sleep through it. And you know what? It only took 3 nights. That’s it. If I would have known earlier that I could be getting FULL NIGHTS of sleep by just going through hell for three nights, I would have done it a lot sooner.

     Now, here’s one tip I will give you: at about 1, she started getting up again. I. don’t. ever. go. in. Never. Husband does. (He does get up, because by this time we figure she’s teething or having nightmares). He never picks her up. He just goes in, tells her to lay down and go back to sleep, and she does it!!! It’s amazing. Now, when he goes in, when she sees it’s him, she just shuts her piehole, and lays herself down. If I go in? She expects to be picked up.

     So, moral of the story: 1. you have to let him cry it out. 2. Down the line, only HUSBAND deals with waking children.

     Good luck… it’s tough, but you can do it!

107. Niki P. on March 10th, 2009 6:12 am

     My kids are now preteens. When they were babies I was a bit of a Nazi when it came to bedtime- they developed very good sleep habits and stuck to them and to this day they are good sleepers. It wasn’t easy then but boy oh boy is it paying off now. CIO will be worth it to you in the long run. Stick with it and reap the rewards later.

108. Tony on March 10th, 2009 6:14 am

     Not sure if it applies, but one problem we’ve had is the diaper blow out.

     To combat this, I buy one box of diapers which are one size up from the normal size. We use these just for bedtime. The larger diaper holds a little more pee.

109. amanda on March 10th, 2009 6:21 am

     You poor thing. I completely understand that horrible feeling when the baby wakes up and your whole body going into total anxiety mode. I swear I have post traumatic stress disorder from having to get up so much during my daughter’s early months, and you’ve had to go through so much more time than I did. You never realize how precious sleep is until you have kids…I haven’t read through the comments, and maybe you’ve already tried this, but maybe a white noise machine of some sort (fan, vaporizer, something like that) would help. I always have something running in my daughter’s room, and I know I have a fan running in my own room because it helps me sleep. As for CIO – if she wakes up and I get a sense that she will be able to get back to sleep at some point, I let her cry it out (which of course keeps me up for much longer than her). But if she’s totally freaking – I go in. I guess I would recommend, as much as it sucks, to try CIO again…but it truly does bite it. Good luck!

110. patois on March 10th, 2009 6:57 am

     For such a sleep-deprived woman, you are one hell of a funny writer. I was laughing throughout. Oh, wait, you were looking for sympathy? Sorry. Really, just let me wipe the tears from my eyes and say in all sincerity, “Sorry.”

111. Claudia on March 10th, 2009 7:14 am

     Oh, how I feel your pain. And it’s a deep deep pain – a HUGE SUCK. I tried all kinds of things but the only thing that really worked was time. Waiting for this massive ball of shit to roll away.

     Our oldest goes to sleep all by herself and has for years (she’s 8). Our youngest (almost 5) STILL needs help falling asleep and almost always wakes in the night and crawls into my bed for the remainder. I don’t mind having her since she sleeps pretty solidly now. But, one of us has to lie with her in her (small!) bed until she falls to sleep. At 9pm. Or later. Last night (thanks to damn DST), she didn’t finally fall asleep until 11pm. But that’s rare.

     Good luck – he WILL eventually sleep through the night.

112. Nancy on March 10th, 2009 7:17 am

     I’ll add in my support for an earlier bedtime… for whatever reason, it has just always worked for us. It was about 6pm in the twins’ first year, and now at 19 months they can make it til about 6:45. It’s worth a try! (DST doesn’t really help with this, but hey, what can you do.)

113. pam on March 10th, 2009 7:18 am

     my boys were also doing the middle of the night wakeup/feed and (well, there’s a whole triplet dynamic thing here that you don’t need to hear about) we finally ended up doing CIO. it was really hard for all the reasons you’ve already stated (easier just to zombie-like stumble into the nursery and just feed them than to lie there and listen to screaming) but so worth it in the end.

     we put the boys down at 7 – is earlier an option? sounds counterintuitive, but worth a try.

114. Debbie on March 10th, 2009 7:20 am

     We did a Ferber-style CIO where the hubby was the only one who went in there. He would go in right at the first cries, rock him a few minutes, tell him he was leaving and put him down. Then we’d let him cry for 2-minutes and go back in and repeat, and then went up to 4 and then 6, etc. The first night sucked big time — mostly because he didn’t want my husband and it took a while to settle him in the rocker. It did get easier pretty quickly and I think he quit getting up at all after five nights. This could work if Dylan is mostly wanting you but maybe not so much if he is wanting a bottle.

     We did it around 10 months so it might be a little harder now that he is older and set in his ways. And he could be in one of those sleep regressions right now that will pass in a week or so but then I guess you still need to deal with the regular wakeup. Good luck.

115. Michelle on March 10th, 2009 7:24 am

     I know it sounds crazy, but he could be sleep deprived; sleep deprived kids wake up more at night. I know, I know, counterintuitive, but true. If he’s not taking a nap other than 12-2, and you can’t try a morning nap, then I would try putting him down earlier. You didn’t mention what time he wakes up in the morning, but I would try putting him down at least 12 hours before he has to wake up. You could try moving his bedtime earlier in increments of 15 minutes. when my 2nd baby dropped her a.m. nap we had to move her bedtime up so she was sleeping 13 hours at night w/ a 2-3 hour nap. Then she stopped waking up at night.

116. seadragon on March 10th, 2009 7:24 am

     What a fantastic video! That reminds me to make sure to capture these last few (?) moments of tottering/falling before Squeakles finally figures out how to walk!

117. Kim S. on March 10th, 2009 7:27 am

     Well, I was going to suggest an earlier bedtime too since all three of my kids would fall the hell apart by 6:30, so I just put them to bed at that time and voila! Magic. That said, I would definitely talk to your doctor about food allergies. Night waking is a sure sign. I have twin toddlers with food allergies and the night waking? Deadly.

118. Korinna on March 10th, 2009 7:40 am

     How have you not gone completely off the reservation with getting so little sleep? I know you may feel snarly, but if you’re managing to keep it even a little bit together after waking up so often, that’s better than most.

     Am also tres happy that nobody has called CPS given all the pro-CIOers on this here blog.

     And will voice with the masses that yes, it sucks but yes, it works.

     Hang in there and keep chugging coffee…

119. Alexandra on March 10th, 2009 7:43 am

     Hey – I was lucky enough not to have this problem; my daughter slept through the night from 8 weeks onwards, until she was about 15 months … then for about a three week period I went through what you are going through now …. I couldn’t understand why everything changed! However, since she was old enough to understand my presence, instead of picking her up out of her crib or giving her a bottle, I sat on the floor in her dark room, put my hand on her, just rested it there so she could feel it and stayed silent … she usually went back to sleep in a matter of minutes. Each day I stayed less and less time until all I needed to do was go in there and touch her briefly and she went to sleep. It was just knowing I was there if she needed me (not a bottle, not a rocking chair, not any interaction) and she never woke up again in the middle of the night. It worked for me – and it taught her to go back to sleep with me picking her up and rocking her back to sleep.

     GOOD LUCK!

120. misguided mommy on March 10th, 2009 7:57 am

     I just went through this with my kid and I talked to his doctor who gave me a GENIUS solution. Put my youngest 15 months in bed with my oldest. BAMN! Sleeping through the night or waking up once (usually when one of them rolls on the other). The doctor was telling me it works because the baby still feels a warm body next to him so it tricks him into thinking he is with me. They both sleep better and I love having them together for some of the sweetest pictures!

121. Deb on March 10th, 2009 8:00 am

     Ok, I know you have gotten 117 replies, but I’ll chime in since I have been there.

     First baby always woke in the night wanting milk. Well, since this is how it had been since he arrived, and we were stupid first time parents, we did not know any better. At his 8 month checkup, I asked the pediatrician when he would sleep thru the night. She looked at us surprised and said that her baby was sleeping thru at 6 weeks. Apparently we were also responsible for sleep training. Who knew?

     So, she said that babies are physically capable of sleeping thru the night without feeding when they hit 10 pounds. After that, they wake up partly out of habit. And then their all like “hey, I’m awake, might as well have a snack”. You said Dylan was a year, so he should totally be able to go 8 hours without a snack. We would jump up the minute we heard him wimper and get him his bottle (to avoid a full on meltdown). This just reinforced the habit of waking up at that time. She recommended that when we heard him wake, to wait a minute and see if he would go back to sleep (not!). Then when he was truly awake, we went in and cuddled him in his chair – but without a bottle. We waited an hour before giving him the bottle. The next night, he didn’t wake up until 3 am! So amazing. Again, we waited, cuddling him for an hour, before giving him his bottle. The next night he didn’t wake up until a little later, then a little later, then finally one magical morning, we slept until 6 am. It was like a miracle. And the whole process took only about 5 days. 5 DAYS, dude!

     So it was never a cry it out thing – that just never worked for me. It was more of a gentle tug toward sleeping longer. Also, we have always let out kids have sippees of water in thier beds (they get thirsty in the night, just like me), and they have always gotten soft books and thier Elmo dolly. Which helped him play quietly when he first went to sleep, and if he woke up early. And I got one of these:

     http://www.amazon.com/Ocean-Wonders-Musical-Aquarium-Attachment/dp/B0007WWZKY

     which really helped him self-sooth either in the night when he woke up (we would hear it over the monitor), or in the morning when he woke earlier than usual.

     I also found a lot of good tips in the book “The No Cry Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley. I did the “No Cry Potty Training Solution” for my son and it worked like a charm.

     Good Luck – I hear you on the no sleep = not the kind of mom you want to be. It is really amazing how that half hour of being awake in the night really screws with you. Oh, and get this – the waking in the middle of the night was a subconcious habit for me, too. Even after we got him sleeping thru the night, I would find myself awake at 2 am wondering WTF?

122. Jennifer on March 10th, 2009 8:04 am

     I hope you figure it out, because I feel as if I’m following in your path. Right now we have a 5 month old who we’re trying to get to sleep in her crib rather than her swing. It would go so much better if her father would stop sabotaging my efforts by sticking her in the swing. I think we’re going to have to resort to the extreme measure of getting rid of it as you did.

123. autumn on March 10th, 2009 8:07 am

     I know everyone else is saying the same thing, but I’m going to put my two cents in anyway. When my daughter was almost exactly Dylan’s age, she did the same thing. I was nursing her before I put her to bed and she went from one feeding in the middle of the night to three feedings and finally FIVE! I couldn’t take it and at her 18 month checkup I asked my pediatrician about sleep training and she told me I already had sleep trained her, I’d just done it wrong. I had (accidentally) conditioned her to only fall back asleep if I nursed her, even though she wasn’t really hungry. So she told me just let her cry. IT SUCKED. I cried, my husband had to hold me in the bed to keep me from going in to her, but IT WORKED. IN THREE NIGHTS. She cried for for successively shorter periods each night and by the fourth night we would hear her wake up and fidget a few minutes and talk to herself and then go right back to sleep. She’s slept twelve hours straight every night ever since. It may help you to think of it as doing the best thing for Dylan. Waking up that many times a night isn’t good for him either. He’s growing, and he’s walking now, he needs good solid sleep and so do you. If you feel like you’re doing CIO because you just can’t stand it anymore it makes it seem like going in and giving him a bottle is the unselfish thing to do. If you think of it as getting him to do something that’s good for him it feels more like dealing with his temper tantrum when you won’t let him shove a butter knife into a wall socket. Not that he would ever have a butter knife, I’m just saying. CIO sucks but once you work up the resolve and just do it, it does work. And two weeks from now, you’ll be sleeping through the night as if there never was a screaming toddler just down the hall. Good Luck!

124. Missy on March 10th, 2009 8:14 am

     Someone else mentioned this already, but The No Cry Sleep Solution really helped me, too.

125. Bumbling on March 10th, 2009 8:17 am

     With my oldest, I let him CIO 2 days straight and it worked. He sleeps from 8pm to, well whenever we go in and wake him on the weekdays, and till 9 ish on the weekends. Our second was having the same issues as Dylan; he expected the 2 AM milk bottle and comfort. I started off by no longer going in with the bottle and just comforting him for a few days. After about 6 days then I stopped picking him up at all – I would just go in and say Shhhh Shhhhh from the doorway and eventually (took about 2 weeks total) he learned to put himself back to sleep.
     Good luck sweetie, it will be hard but so very worth it for BOTH of you.

126. cbrks12 on March 10th, 2009 8:21 am

     Commit to letting him cry it out for 1 week. That is all it will take. 7 days. Do it.

127. Larisa on March 10th, 2009 8:47 am

     As a side note: We missed the easy stage for sleep training (4-5 mo. olds). Sleep training a 12 month old is different because they are also going through the “separation anxiety” phase of development. I still say use CIO, but maybe not “cold turkey” = kinder, gentler Ferber. (BTW, I didn’t read Ferber’s book so I don’t know if it’s in there, but Ferber himself noted this on a morning news show not long ago regarding 12 month olds. Basically he said that he never advocated completely ignoring the baby).

     The only difference is you’ll still want to let him know you’re there once in awhile rather than totally tuning him out. We leave the hall light on and I’ll go in his room when my gut says to and pat him or give a paci or something. I like the blankets-on-the-floor recommendation. I’ll also readily admit I brought in recruits to help…well my mom (very anti-CIO before my kids came along) took the reigns when I started blubbering on her shoulder about my lack of sleep and spent 2 nights with the baby while he cried. No matter what you do (eg: patting, lullibies, pacifier), tho, don’t pick him up when you go in. Oh, and the weaning is a must. Personally, I’d do that cold-turkey no matter how mad he gets.

     It was hard at first, but after a day or two, when I’d hear the clear anger (toddler-esk) in his voice, I had to giggle a little at the indignance! Sometimes it helps to find a little humor in the ridiculousness of it all! Good luck! :)

128. Deb on March 10th, 2009 9:03 am

     Oh, I thought of some more stuff. First Jay @ 4:57 – I love it when “defenestration” gets worked into a conversation!

     Also, I forgot to mention that we gave him less ounces each time when we finally did break out the bottle. And I totally second the eat a huge dinner suggestions. And we waited longer each time before going into his room – first 5 minutes, then 10, then 15. I never would let him cry longer than 20 minutes though. The one time he did cry for 20 minutes was right when he was learning to pull himself up to standing. he had stood up and couldn’t figure out how to sit back down! Oh my gosh, I still beat myself up for that one. I have found that their sleep is more restless when they are learning new things – and I know Dylan is all about the walking now, so maybe that is part of the problem.

     And on the white noise front – I have always had CD players in their rooms playing relaxing music. It’s almost Pavlovian – my daughter falls asleep by the 4th song. I bought tons of lullaby cd’s before finding some good ones (one actually had like polka’s and marches. stupid). The best ones were: Fisher Price Lullaby Baby, Tender Lullabies and Little Tikes Sleepytime Songs. My son is 4 and my daughter is 2 and they listen all night, every night. It also helps mask other sounds, like when one of them wakes in the night or when we are getting ready for bed, or have the teevee up too loud.

     P.S. The other day we got a box of formula in the mail. When my husband brought it in I yelled “I am tired of all this motherfucking formula in the motherfucking mail” and then cracked up. Husband just looked at me like I was losing it – which cracked me up even more.

129. jen on March 10th, 2009 9:06 am

     i hope sleeping for dylan gets better one of these days. i can barely manage on eight hours of sleep, boy i can’t wait to have kids!

     and for the real reason i am commenting. ;p i finally got 30 day shred and holy crap it is amazing. jillian will be the death of me and i love it. thanks for recommending it!

130. mrspooley on March 10th, 2009 9:16 am

     Linda – Have you ever heard of the sleep lady? I was lucky to hear of her very early on with my son (3 mos or so) and so didn’t have to use her more drastic or detailed methods but I love her advice and she has methods where they DON’T HAVE TO CRY. Her name is Kim West and she has books and cds and a free monthly newsletter with tips and tricks and things you have look out for as your kid grows. Check it out at sleeplady.com

131. MRW on March 10th, 2009 9:17 am

     OK I haven’t had time to read all of the comments, but I wanted to at least second (?) the recommendation for Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Yes, CIO sucks, we did it with my first in an 1100 sq foot house and I could hear everything, but I was exhausted and fed up and determined to make it work. Unfortunately, I think CIO gets harder as they get older because they get more determined, but in the long run it worked for us.

     Also just wanted to say God DAMN IT I hate DST. Spring forward my ass. For two weeks (if I’m lucky) twice a year my kid is exhausted and cranky and irritable because we have to change the damned time. Just another reason I’d love to move to Hawaii.

132. Stacy on March 10th, 2009 9:19 am

     I know this was said earlier but it may be that he’s going to bed too late. Of course you can’t just change the bedtime right away. I think 15 min. incremental changes are the most you can do. My 22 month year old won’t last past 7:00 pm and sometimes I put him down at 6:30pm. It seems early but he never wakes up earlier just because he goes to bed earlier. The book Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child really helped.

133. jetsy on March 10th, 2009 9:26 am

     hey linda, i had the same experience with my daughter at the same age. she was waking up every two hours at night to nurse, and i was going batshitcrazy.

     at her 15 month appt, the pediatrician discovered she was anemic. my theory is that her body knew she “needed” something, and so she woke up to nurse. so we started her on iron supplements and night-weaned. she still doesn’t sleep through the night at 3 years, but i really think her anemia was the reason for her frequent night-waking back then. (now she just comes to our bed and we all sleep the rest of the night.)

     i would rule out any allergies/medical issues before you try any sleep method.

134. Sarah on March 10th, 2009 9:39 am

     You have my sympathies because sleep issues SUCKS! My first has always been a terrible sleeper. When she was about 18 months she stopped taking naps. We used to ask her why she stopped taking naps and she replied “they waste my time”. She is now almost 5 and does sleep through the night, most of the time. Although if you ask her she insists she never sleeps. I am another huge supporter of the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was the final solution to getting my 1st to stop waking up 3-5 times a night just like Dylan. Like a few others have mentioned if possible try putting him to bed earlier. That helped with my daughter we started putting her down between 6:30-7 and she immediately started sleeping better. With my 2nd daughter we used the techniques in “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” from the start and she was sleeping through the night by 6 months. She is now almost 2 and sleeps from 7/7:30pm to 7/7:30am every night, goes to sleep on her own with little to no fussing and still take a 2 hour nap every afternoon.

135. Laurie on March 10th, 2009 9:45 am

     I know someone has probably already suggested this but here we go –

     we had the same problem and moved R’s bedtime to EARLIER – like 7:30 with great success.

     Also, how about a lovey that he can use instead of the bottle? Like a toy or a blanket?

     Good luck!

136. Ang on March 10th, 2009 9:53 am

     You have a crazy bunch of comments, and I didn’t read them all, so, please, bear with me if I am repeating something you have already heard. I have an 11-month-old son. He, too, struggled with sleeping through the night. He was doing well, then he backpeddaled, and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Anyway…..we tried everything, including letting him in our bed (big mistake), but the craziest thing worked: Huggies Overnight diapers. I know it sounds crazy, and I have to give my husband props — he contended all along that the baby didn’t like to be wet. Anyhoo, I think that’s what worked because literally from the day we put him in those things, he’s slept comepletely thru the night and later than normal in the mornings…… Good luck!

137. Kate on March 10th, 2009 10:56 am

     Another vote for Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Worked on my two girls. Good luck and I love your writing.

138. Angelique on March 10th, 2009 11:01 am

     I know you don’t want to bring him to bed with you, but have you considered putting his crib mattress on the floor next to your bed? That way, when he wakes, you can just reach down and provide some quick comfort. This worked with my now two-year old for awhile, and by 18 months he was sleeping through the night in his own toddler bed in his own room. I know it may not be comforting, but I’ve read that babies wake more often as they’re mastering a new skill (like crawling or walking). Maybe Dylan will start to sleep better again when he masters walking.

139. kim on March 10th, 2009 11:01 am

     ‘The Baby Whisperer’ rocks. Seriously. We never let our son cry, but never let him sleep with us/use any other crutches to sleep, either. It’s a great middle-of-the-road solution. I think for an older baby she recommends the pick-up/put-down method as someone mentioned above. You’ll have to work your ass off for a few nights and be willing to be patient enough to stick with it. But teaching him to get back to sleep on his own will be SO worth it.

140. Emily on March 10th, 2009 11:22 am

     No advice here. I just had to say that reading the first part of your entry is like a diary of my own life. The 2 AM feeding is soooo like that – first dread, then joy as they melt in your arms. I know Camden is only 4 months, so I have no right to complain yet, but I have already begun to wonder how long the middle of the night feedings/wakings will go on. I sometimes wonder, is he really hungry, or are we forming an unfortunate habit here? My friend had a similar issue as yours and they finally let their babe cry it out – first for 5 minutes, then 10, or something like that. It has sort of worked. Helpful, huh?

141. Lauren on March 10th, 2009 11:33 am

     You’ve ruled out all of the medical stuff? Mine never slept through until just recently (he’s 11 months) and the magic solutions were: learning to walk and Mylanta/Zantac in the evening. He has some reflux symptoms, which seem to be worst at night. He would want to nurse, since he was uncomfortable, and the whole tortuous round-robin cycle would start. I never did the CIO thing, since he would just get PISSED.

142. Theresa on March 10th, 2009 11:53 am

     My first kid always slept in her crib because i was scared shittless about s.i.d.s. Apparently I got over myself because my youngest has been sleeping with me for the past 5 months. She will be 1 on Friday. We started CIO last night. She goes to sleep on her own at 8pm every night. When she wakes anywhere between 11pm and 4am I take the path of least resistance and bring her to bed with me, because I knew she would go right back to sleep. I trained the little stinker to sleep with me and now I am kicking her out of my bed because she flops around like a fish out of water all freaking night long and I get no sleep. I need sleep. I don’t know how my husband sleeps through it. So last night was our first CIO night and she woke up screaming like a banshee 6 times. I would either ignore her or pat her on her back while leaving her in the crib. After all the advice about CIO here I know I just need to tough it out for a couple of nights, I hope. It really does suck. I totally feel for you.

143. spacegeek on March 10th, 2009 12:56 pm

     There are two issues here–he’s waking up *and* you are feeding him. Right?
     Perhaps separate the two? Remove the food part but continue to soothe. Then start removing the soothing part?

     I still soothe if they wake up (2.5 yrs old twins), and even sometimes offer a drink or water. But it isn’t that often any more.
     Of course last night is was twice. Yawn.

144. Annie on March 10th, 2009 1:16 pm

     Hi Linda… I know it sucks to hear this – but crying it out is the way to go. There really isn’t anything wrong with him, other than he wants to see you. My girl slept thru the night on her own like a breeze – my boy was different. We had to let him cry it out – sometimes he’d scream, and I mean SCREAM – for 45 minutes. Eventually they figure out that you’re NOT caving and go to sleep. Give it another shot… and use those ear buds if you have to. GL

145. Sara on March 10th, 2009 1:19 pm

     My little guy (now 25 days away from 5 yrs) spent the first year of hi life sleeping in 1-2 hr spurts. He did not sleep through the night until he was 4 despite us trying all sorts of things (painful to us, of course. The thing that worked for us was chiropractic. Don’t know how or why, I just know that I LOVE my chiropractor!!!! (and not because he’s nice to look at)

146. Karl on March 10th, 2009 1:36 pm

     Looks like you have plenty of answers here! Mine are grown, and we didn’t have the same kind of sleep problems when they were little. We DID have a problem kid who would wake up and run to the family room sofa each and every night, starting at about age 4. This was a problem because a) the sofa started to smell like little boy, which is NOT the same as baby boy (alas!); and b) he would turn on the light which would shine into our room and wake us up! (closing the door didn’t help, there is a strange window; i’d have to draw a picture.)

     Anyway, we finally put a stop to it, but it took a pact between the two of us to stop the other from caving, plus a couple extremely unpleasant shitful nights. Afterwards we both wished we had done it a year sooner.

     The point of all this is that HE doesn’t remember any of it, and he was 6 when it stopped. Dylan certainly won’t either. So however you decide to handle it, don’t guilt out on what you are doing to the baby, because you aren’t. YOU need the sleep!

     Good luck with whatever you decide to try. For what it’s worth, I’m in the cry-it-out camp, especially when he’s this young.

     And oh yeah, DST sucks dead moose dicks. Just try to write time-based software where ONE day of the year is 23 hours long, ONE is 25, and the rest are 24. For no good reason. Gah.

147. sara moon on March 10th, 2009 2:05 pm

     i feel ya, linda.
     i have lived and died by the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Buy it. Love it. Memorize it. It is meant to be read as you need it, so it’s not a sit down and plug through it kinda book. You will have a new strategy TONIGHT. THIS BOOK ROCKS. I PROMISE!

148. Jess in Nebraska on March 10th, 2009 2:10 pm

     Seriously, I am a HUGE acvocate of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child…..It has answers that WORK if you are consistent. Although I HATE HATE HATE crying it out….with my now 15 month old, that’s what I had to do at 12 months because I HAD TO SLEEP! It was a few nights of having to hear crying…but it has been SO WORTH IT Seriously….it is worth it in the long run. (In my opinion…) And PLEEEEEEASE for all the naysayers who say it “damages” the child…WHAT THE HECK???? I, and about everyone else I know had to “cry it out” as a kid…and I feel pretty well adjusted….(and I don’t recall feeling ABANDONED)

149. Rachel on March 10th, 2009 2:11 pm

     I agree with giving him an especially big dinner and slowly weaning him off the feeding. Since he slept in the swing for so long I imagine he’s pretty attatched to the rocking and that might be another thing to wean him off of. But I’m putting my 2 cents in for doing it gradually. Any kind of abrupt CIO seems like a bad idea at this stage. He’s doing enough processing with walking, talking and some big mental leaps about object permanence. Throwing in having to process why mommy is suddenly ignoring him seems like asking for trouble.

     I really strongly recommend against the white noise. Yes, it does work but it’s like methadone to a heroin addict – just one more habit to kick. I have nieces and cousins and friends kids who as old as 13 are not capable of sleeping without some kind of white noise. They have to take whatever machine they use every where the kid spends the night. Otherwise perfectly well adjusted kids, taking white noise machines to sleepovers. Ridiculous.

150. Jamie on March 10th, 2009 2:28 pm

     Linda, I hear you girlfriend. My, now 2, darling went through this. Nothing worked. Until I smartened up. Here’s what happened.
     1. until he was about 18 months, he took 2 naps-one at around 10am for an hour then at 1pm-3pm. If these didn’t happen, he was up at night from being overly tired. No shit.
     2. We stopped the milk before bed and made him drink before we even gave him a bath and got him ready for bed. That worked.
     3. We still hold him for a few mins. before bed each night then stick him in the baby prison aka-the crib. no probs.
     4. except when he when apparently had HORRIBLE allergies that we had NO EFFIng clue about. He had crap down the back of his throat and that’s why he would wake up several times and want milk/juice. That has ended thanks to little drug called ZYRTEC. The answer to my prayers-and his. I am the dumbest parent on the planet.
     Those little mofos are enough to put you 6 feet under. I swear to god. When my son is in college, I’m going to call him several times during the night for weeks on end. Good Luck. Don’t let him suck the life out of you.

151. Kathy on March 10th, 2009 3:03 pm

     I couldn’t understand why my third couldn’t sleep through the night like his two older brothers, and at 12 months old, he was STILL waking up during the night screaming, only soothed by the bottle. I felt like I was in the same situation you are in, like we had spoiled him, and he was never going to outgrow it. Here’s the thing…I FINALLY figured out that the broccoli I was giving him every other night for dinner (one of the only 2 vegetables he eats) was making him get gas in the night, and waking him up. DUH! And me giving him the bottle wasn’t helping matters in the gas department. So once we stopped giving him the broccoli, and only rocked/bounced/sang to him (no bottle) when he did wake up, things have VASTLY improved. He’s 20 months old now and sleeps through almost every night (except one night last night when my husband gave him broccoli at dinner – no comment on that, other than HE was the one getting up with him that night.) We also did some of the cry it out too at bedtime, when he was overtired…but at 4am it’s so hard to do that.

     I think it’s so easy to think that it’s all behavioral, and we the parents are to blame, when sometimes there are underlying digestive problems or other physical issues. Just thought I’d share that, for what it’s worth.

152. babelbabe on March 10th, 2009 3:31 pm

     I’m sorry, i am lazy, so if someone else said this, ignore. It may seem completely counterintuitive, but put him to bed earlier (courtesy of Dr Weissbluth, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). You are still going to have to endure some midnight wailing but know you’re not the only one, we’re training Q right now and I think he and Dylan are within days of each other’s birthday…

153. Chibi Jeebs on March 10th, 2009 4:26 pm

     To elaborate on Melissa’s thought (”…and since he knows that the crying makes you do what he wants to do…he cries for you.”), is it possible and/or have you guys tried having JB go to him when he wakes up? Maybe if it’s someone other than Mom (who he knows will do what he wants), it will peter off.

     And I totally made grabby hands at the computer when he clapped for himself.

154. ikate on March 10th, 2009 5:09 pm

     I didn’t read all the comments but at about 10 or 11 months we went cold turkey off the night feedings and progressively let our girl cry longer. 5 min on night one, 10 on 2, etc. We also after a few days switched from me going to her to her daddy since I was the food source. I HATED it and quaked in our bed listening to the cries but after about 3-4 nights she more or less learned to settle herself and after about 2 weeks of random wakings she slept through the night.

     But oh sweet jebus, I hear you on the YEAR of not getting a real night’s sleep – worse torture could not be invented.

155. Carrot Cake on March 10th, 2009 5:23 pm

     Not sure if you’ll even see this, what with all the other comments so far. What works for us is the CIO method, but we generally don’t let our 14-month-old cry longer than 5 minutes. REAL crying. The exception is if we notice he’s getting into the habit of crying just to get us to come back in. Then we might let him cry a little longer before intervening. Sometimes he just needs a little extra reassurance or another few minutes of rocking until he’s calmed down. I’m a first time mom, but I know that he needs to understand that we’ll be there for him if he needs us but aren’t pawns in an anti-bedtime game. Sometimes he puts up a fight, but eventually sleep wins. And if he wakes up in the middle of the night…I’m the only one who hears it. My husband is the sleeping dead (no fair!), but I jealously guard my sleep and am usually reluctant to spring out of bed. I let him wail for a while before checking on him. The exception to this is if his cry sounds particularly scared or urgent. Hope you find the help you need and sleep you crave. I hear you on not being a morning person! Can’t wait until he’s old enough for me to sleep in a little later! Is that bad?

156. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com on March 10th, 2009 5:31 pm

     I’m not a parent yet, so what do I know? I certainly don’t want to offer advice when it’s entirely possible that in two years, I’ll be wishing I could take back what I say here and just flip the old me the bird.

     So instead, here’s an internet *hug* I hope that the two of you find a happy medium and that you get some more sleep soon!

157. Mychal on March 10th, 2009 8:08 pm

     Okay, this has nothing to do with this post.

     What is the brand of that headband that you really like? The one that keeps your hair back really well while working out?

158. Abby on March 10th, 2009 8:13 pm

     It seems to me that he’s a pretty smart kid – he’s been on the move for so long! He’s probably going through some physical adjustment and he doesn’t know how to deal with it all so he wakes up and wants you. Understandable.

     A lovey is a good idea, but maybe you could let him hold it while you rock him to sleep for the first time at night so that he gets used to it being there and comforting him. Plus it may start to smell like you and that may help him, too. (We use those animals that are really tiny blankets for their bodies with a head on top.)

     You could try blocking out the daylight in his room with foil on his window (which we used to help train our boy to nap during the day and have left it on there). If it’s the lighting difference making him feel weird maybe it will help to make the room look the same no matter what time of day it is.

     Definitely get a noise machine. We got ours off Amazon – about $35, but I can’t remember the brand. It has a radio and clock but also has several sounds: rain, white noise, heart beat, etc.

     I think I read through most of the comments and they suggest putting him down to bed earlier, but you said that doesn’t seem to work. Have you tried getting him to take a second nap? I know he’s older, but even if just has “quiet time” during the day – maybe with some books in the crib with him – he may feel more rested. I know it’s hard for ME to fall asleep if I’m exhausted from not having had enough sleep the night before. (Of course run him ragged all day, but that goes without saying!)

     Good luck. I know it sucks. Mine sleeps through the night, but I work at night so I get home at 1:30 and he’s raring to go at 7:30. I get about 5 hours a night, which sounds okay, but it’s really and truly not enough!

     And remember: this too shall pass. (When he’s 16 he won’t get OUT of bed and he’ll be driving you nuts in another way!)

159. ChelseaLI on March 10th, 2009 9:36 pm

     Well, it took me a while, but I did it.
     As of 10:32 pm on March 10, 2009, I have read every single post of the archives both here and on Diaryland.
     I’ve laughed, cried and laughed some more.
     I’ll try not to be a stranger :)

160. Andrea on March 10th, 2009 9:59 pm

     Just be prepared for the ‘checking in’ on him to backfire and rile him up more. I tried Ferber and increased the time of every check in, but for my baby (and a couple of moms in my mom groups) we finally had to go cold turkey and let ‘em cry for around 1.5 hrs straight with NO check ins. :( Having a video monitor to make sure they’re not stuck between the rails or something helps. BUT! The second time was only .5 (next day nap) and .5 after that (next nite) and then no crying at all. Took about TWO days total. Like ripping off a band-aid.

161. Red on March 11th, 2009 5:34 am

     Why why why doesn’t JB help? Hubby and I take turns every other night and thank god or I’d have died months ago. Use the monitor. Put it right next to his freakin’ ear. He’ll hear it.
     Kids do regress a little bit when they reach a significant milestone. I seem to recall our son woke up multiple times (usually just 1x) around the time he started walking. Teething also sucks majorly and can contribute. Consider teething tabs for a few nights and see if that helps. But enlist JBs help before you go off the deep end!

162. birdgal on March 11th, 2009 6:27 am

     I did a version of CIO with my first (we nudged her into a ’schedule’ of sorts early on, the ‘Babywise’ method), she was, and still is, a great sleeper. I did the exact same thing with my son (now 5.5 months); there was some crying, but he is already a champion sleeper. I think the only thing that may work for you now is CIO or the more ‘touchy feely’ version of CIO recommended by the ‘Healthy Sleep Habits’ book. I know the little dude likes the comfort of you holding him in the middle of the night, but at this point, there is no physiological reason he should be waking up (ie, the boy should not need a bottle at 2am).

163. sdg on March 11th, 2009 6:39 am

     My parents dreaded my bedtime. I did NOT dread the bedtimes. Because I learned the trick. As child, i had the lowest enviroment tolerance. Odd sounds kept me awake or woke me up, and sometimes it was the *lack of sound* that woke me up. An over-riding, soothing sound should keep him sleeping. I used one of those wave/beach sounds noise makers. Dont bother getting the battery one, no matter what they say, it needs to be a plug-in model. Using it through the night certainly isnt going to melt the polar ice caps. Good Luck!! :)

164. Renee on March 11th, 2009 7:19 am

     I haven’t read the comments, so I am probably repeating, but I owe you so desperately for the 30 Shred that I wanted to share. My youngest, who is now two and a half, had roughly the same sleep pattern as Dylan at roughly the same age. Only, he was even trickier about it because he would go for one or two week stretches where he would sleep all night. We were never able to duplicate the magical set of conditions for longer than a couple of weeks. Finally, around six months ago (I know, right?) I reached the point where lack of sleep was going to lead to a mental breakdown. So, we pushed his bedtime up, not back. He now has his bath at 6:30, and after a brief rock in the chair, is down for the night by 7:00. And he sleeps until 7-7:30. If I hadn’t witnessed it myself, I never would have believed it. So, my advice is an earlier bed time, if possible.

165. Dana on March 11th, 2009 7:55 am

     Linda,

     If you want to change his bedtime, may I suggest putting him down 5 minutes earlier each night?

     That way, it’s not a drastic change.

166. Christy on March 11th, 2009 8:51 am

     I’m sure this is repetitive, but with Swaid, our 6.5 mo old, we did a combo of CIO, white noise machine, and omitted the 1st wakeup feeding (only rocked and put back to bed with pacifier). It only took a few days and it worked well for him. Lately, due to allergies/sickness/increased reflux, etc, he began waking up again- so we stuck a pillow under his mattress to provide a slight incline in order to help minimize drainage/coughing and that worked for us. He’s back sleeping though. Also, he was diagnosed with reflux (even though he NEVER spit up, it would come up and go back down)and began taking Zantac too so THAT alone solved all the world’s problems for us.

167. Wendy on March 11th, 2009 8:54 am

     I absolutely agree with those who recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I have not met anyone who read it that did not say that book absolutely saved their lives. You are going to think this is crazy, but it seems like he might not be getting to bed early enough and may need more daytime sleep as well. Sleep begets sleep.

168. Hanna on March 11th, 2009 9:41 am

     We were recently having issues with nap-time – crying out mommymommymommymommmmmeeeee until I went in. Over and Over. Until we finally put him in the carseat and went for a drive. It was seriously pushing my buttons so I picked up HSHHC again. CIO he says. We had tried it before a couple of times but caved after 15 minutes. I was convinced he was one of the kids who just gets more worked up rather than the kind that gets tuckered out. Our guy is 2 1/4 so the concern is jumping out of the crib (which he has not figured out yet, thank heavens).

     Anyway, we tried it. 10 minutes of singing, laughing, jumping up and down (we just have an audio monitor), followed by 40 minutes (pure hell) of sitting downstairs listening to him cry on the monitor. He tried all kinds of things, from throwing his binky on the floor and calling for us (I went in, no eye contact, and put it back in the crib) to saying “I need help” (he’s pretty smart). But, after 40 minutes, he dropped off. Woke up 1.5 hours later happy and chipper.

     The next day, he cried for 10 minutes. No crying since. (Still some laughing and jumping, but generally drops off after 15 minutes.)

     The best part is that I don’t feel that icky feeling – that resentment and anger I was feeling toward him.

     Good luck!

169. Karen on March 11th, 2009 9:41 am

     I’m sure I’m repeating stuff, just can’t read all the comments first, must dash to a meeting….. BUT — I echo anyone who has recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It saved our sanity. One tip that wasn’t in the book, that I recall, was agreeing ahead of time with spouse on how it would work. Because there was another version of CIO going on in parents’ room it seemed… one of the first nights I was nearly out of bed at the half hour mark, one hour mark, and so on, and without a husband to hold me firm I would have undone it all. It took a few nights, but worked. OH, and definitely give a slightly earlier bedtime a whirl. If they get overtired before bed, apparently the sleep is not as restful, and there are more wakings.

170. Clover on March 11th, 2009 10:02 am

     Since I’m the 170th comment or so, I’m doubtful you’ll get to this comment but… My daughter is weeks younger than Dylan. When she started that awful 5am wake up – where you can’t really go back to sleep afterward knowing you have to get up soon anyway – honestly, I’d just turn the monitor off. I’d set the alarm for 30-45 minutes later to check on her, and she was always fast asleep. Crying won’t kill them – I know you said you hear him monitor or not, have you tried a fan in your room to drown out noise?

171. Shutter Bitch on March 11th, 2009 10:50 am

     http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236793788&sr=8-1

     That book was a godsend.

172. jen on March 11th, 2009 1:13 pm

     Oh man…that video is great. Thanks.

173. Amy on March 12th, 2009 9:13 pm

     Cereal and fruit in an infant feeder followed by a bottle and we were sleeping through the night from 4 months on and were much happier people in general :)

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