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Jul
16
For the most part, Dylan can now heave his own self onto the couch, and thankfully we’ve moved on past the up/down saga.
Unfortunately, we seem to have entered a thrilling new stage, which I like to think of as Why Are Doctors So Goddamned Stingy with the Xanax, Is a Prescription With Unlimited Refills Really So Much To Ask For? It goes like this:
HELP ME PUT THIS CUP ON MY HAND. HA HA HA I AM CRAZY CUP-HAND BABY I HAVE A CUP FOR A HAND HA HA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
(.02 seconds later)
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS CUP IS ON MY HAND IT’S ON MY HAND IT’S ON MY HAAAAAAND WHERE DID MY HAND GO IT’S GONE IT’S GONE OH MY GOD I WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN AND SLAUGHTER YOUR CATTLE IF YOU DO NOT HELP ME IMMEDIATELY OH MY GOOOOOOOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
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60 Responses to “My life at the moment, part II”
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Loving, Lately
JR Watkins Vanilla is my new favorite body lotion. Love the smell, love the way it feels, love the awesome label design.
I may have mentioned it once or twice, but Breaking Bad is the best thing that has ever happened to television EVER. You should watch it right now.
Bob Book Series
Riley has honestly learned to read as a result of these little box sets. Cannot recommend enough.
This applesauce bread from Allrecipes is superfast, supereasy, and the kids love it (I leave out the spices).
My sides are splitting I’m laughing so hard. Those photos and captions are PRICELESS, especially the second one.
I hope you’re keeping a scrapbook of these.
Loved yesterday’s update on Little D, too.
My son was born a couple weeks after Dylan, and I identify closely with many of your posts. This…This was genius and a perfect picture of one evening in my house. Laughing hysterically.
Ha! I always make up dialogue for my baby’s mood swings!
Photo # 2 = Pure Genius.
OMG that’s hysterical!
I have seriously never seen a better portrait. Or caption.
I love how the cheeks turn bright red and shine rays into the forehead wrinkles.
I’m sure it’s a lot cuter without the sound track, though…
My favorite moms are the ones who take pictures of their kids when they’re having meltdowns. Seriously.
I totally just snotted from the hilariousness. Oh, ho, ho, ho… funny boy!
Priceless and hysterical. I think it is important to document ALL parts of their lives, not just the ones where they look like angels.
Oh dear! This is why I read you. That is too damn funny. My husband and I especially liked the part where you have Dylan threatening arson and cattle slaughter.
Hilarious. It seems similar to the “repeatedly climb up on the low coffee table and stand up and chuckle with glee while beating chest in pride…then minutes later scream in total horror and stand with arms out until someone comes and removes me from said table” phase we’re going through.
Hee hee hee. I know this game well, although at our house it is better known as the PUT THIS DRESS ON MY BABY DOLL NOW NOW NOW OMG WTF HAVE YOU DONE WHY IS THIS DRESS ON MY BABY OMG TAKE IT OFF TAKE IT OFF TAKE IT OFFFFFFFFFFF I HATE YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!
It’s an awesome game.
Oh, I so do enjoy your little capsules of life. I miss those days of having young’uns around, and you always make me remember how crazy but fabulous those times really were.
The only one that’s better than that is right before potty training when it’s “please change my diaper I stink” and then it’s “OH DEAR GOD WHY HAVE YOU REMOVED MY DIAPER? I HATE YOUR F-ING GUTS!”
oh god, i needed to laugh that hard after the day I’ve had. SO. DAMN. FUNNY. Those photos just kill me. My kids are a bit older than Dylan and I have one word for you: TWINS. And the Terrible Twos? Just go on and on, into the Terrible Threes and god help me (and you) with whatever comes next.
BTW, I am working on my Couch to 5K training and your bad ass is just one of the inspirational women whose blogs I read. So thanks for that, and the laffs.
You and Dylan crack my shit UP! Heee
Okay so I was laughing so hard Bryan wanted to know what I was reading. He read this and the up/down post and was all “How old is this kid?” “He’s exactly one month older than Theo.” “So Theo is going to be climbing the couch and all this stuff in about a month?!?! OMG!”
So now we have a freak-out about climbing. I apologize for him missing the point :-)
HAHAHAHA!
Yeah.
I know that game well.
I about wet my pants and woke up half the house laughing at that one… thank you!
I normally don’t comment but um… that second pic and caption just about took it all out of me. HILARIOUS.
Despite the fact that i live on the other side of the world, we seem to have very similar lives in terms of our children!! this post could SO easily have been written about my younger son. Your stories (while they may not always seem so funny to you at the time) crack me up time and time again!!!
Funny as usual. Totally can relate. Thanks for making me feel less alone :)
I always see my 19-month old son in your pictures of Dylan. They both have the command of a thousand emotions in their facial expressions. I can’t imagine the chaos if they ever were to meet.
My oldest was oh so trying like this. You just could not make that child happy. He’s eight now and while MOST of that behavior is gone, we somehow formed a special bond during the hell he put me through. He’s my love bug and showers me with love and affection. I think of it as my reward.
ROFLMFAO!!! Thank you!
Kids are great with their “quirks” as I like to call them… Oy.
Do you have a camera attached to your head to the right shot at the right moment?
That made my day. HILARIOUS!!
I saw picture #1 and I knew RIGHT where this was going. I have my own little 19 month old crazy man. :) Every day is a story isn’t it?
priceless!
That second photo and caption made my week. Hee!
day = made.
Brilliant!
huh. we seem to be living parallel lives (except you’re waaaay funnier than me.) If I get a scrip for Xanax, I promise to share.
That little dude in his little shoes with that fing cup on his hand … awesome.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA that second picture is THE most terrifying baby look I have ever seen!! Hilarious!
HAHAHAHA!!! That is so freaking funny…
(I also feel like we are soulmates…love the Gladware container on the floor…I have one on my floor that has been there for 3 days…)
Ok, so no one is going to tell Dylan 20 years from now that we were all LAUGHING at him in his cupped agony, right? It’s either that or cough up for the therapy bills…
HA HA Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HAAAAAAAAA, you said, slaughter my cattle…. !!! major chuckles
That’s funny!
my favorite is when my Chipmunk (just a few months younger than Dylan) is so insistent that I pick him up he’s practically hurting himself to get me to do it. Then, when I do pick him up, he’s so pissed at me for doing so. So, when I put him down, the whole cycle starts all over again.
Sigh – they’ll be able to talk soon, right? Although, I didn’t fully understand my (now)6 year old until he was well past three.
F’in hilarious!!
I love him soooooooooo much!
Came back, read it again, burst out laughing. Heee!
Love this. Cannot stop laughing. This is also my life at the moment, only with the “up/down” on me.
“MUMMA! UP UP UP UP!”
Pick her up. Fresh wails of horror ensue. “GEH DOW!!! GEH DOW PEEEZ!”
Repeat.
I’ve read this about 5 times now and can’t stop giggling. You’re a gifted writer and have captured it perfectly.
OMG… I can’t stop laughing at this, there are tears! I can totally relate. I’m so glad I found your blog about a month ago.. I spent hours reading old entries… fabulous :)
I hate the term “LOL” but that’s what I just did. Laughed Out Loud at that second photo. So freaking hilarious!
I’d get rid of those damn cups!
i just peed my pants.
LOL with mine, he starts up a fit over something I won’t let him have. Then it’s GIVE ME THE BINKY. Then he throws it at me in protest. Then GIVE ME THE BINKY. Again and again.
Dylan rocks…and I hope you are still blogging when he is a teenager!!!HA
My god, girl, that is SO funny.
God, I love coming here.
So hilarious!! I have a 20 month old, I feel you. This honestly made me crack up.
you are AWESOME.
I love the second pic. The look of sheer horror on his face is priceless and your caption just adds to its perfection.
De-lurking to L-the eff-O-L
(:-D
oh that is Toddler-Hood at its finest. LOL
I got this from my 18 month old son’s father and have passed it on. Whenever our son starts fussing about something or seems like a tantrum is coming, we go “Squawk!” There is something to be said for mocking your child when he/she is pitching a fit. It makes us laugh and confuses him so that he stops.