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Sep
30
Windfall fantasies
Filed Under Uncategorized | 122 Comments
JB and I were watching some awful show called “Million Dollar Yachts” the other day, which featured, as you might guess, obscenely expensive yachts. One ship included copious amounts of the world’s most rare blue granite, another had custom-carved whalebone accessories, and one owner had built some crazy custom golf course thing that allowed him to send ball after ball flying into the ocean in an attempt to hit various targets, while his crew stood by in a separate giant boat in order to determine each player’s score.
Can you even imagine being that rich? I was all hung up on the golf balls, like wait a minute, isn’t that kind of environmentally fucked? Aren’t golf balls the ones that have a center filled with radioactive space dust, or something? Or at the very least isn’t it possible a marine animal could choke on one? Come ON, wasteful millionaire guy, think of the ball-gagging dolphins!
Every now and then when the Powerball gets up to some ridiculous, unlikely number like $184,032,682,931,085.14 JB and I buy a ticket and launch into a pleasant, meandering, days-long conversation about what we’d do with all that money. It’s basically the polar opposite of those grim Well We Still Can’t Reduce Our 15-Year Refi Loan Like We Had Planned Because the Seattle Housing Market Took a Big Steaming Poo and Thus Our Mortgage is Like Getting Reamed With a Giant Pointy Stick Each Month discussions which result in us combing through our budget yet again and wondering if there’s anything we can skim off the top, like maybe those expensive-ass children.
What would you do with a giant mega-mountain of cash? I mean, you know, aside from donations, helping out family/friends, savings, school tuitions, college funds, and all that responsible stuff. Here’s the big things from my list:
• Quit my job, pronto. Sorry, job. I like you, and I love my coworkers, but your commute sucks and let’s be honest, if I didn’t need the paycheck we probably wouldn’t have a whole lot to talk about.
• Build a generously-sized but not mansion-huge house in Oregon, with two-story log cabin-style front windows overlooking something beautiful.
• Have vacation property in Bend, and a beachouse somewhere tropical.
• Buy a super comfy motorhome, so our family could spend weeks at a time traveling around the US
• Hire an awesome trainer to kick my ass 4-5 days a week.
• Start a business.
• Find the perfect babysitter for a weekly date night and pay to keep her on permanent retainer.
What about you?
Sep
29
The best you can
Filed Under Uncategorized | 53 Comments