Every Sunday night I feel a great exhaustion hit me like a wave of I’m so tired I can’t even finish this stupid metaphor, but man, tonight in particular I am so, so ready to switch over to the weekday routine. Which of course is a chaotic, draining grind all on its own, but at least it’s . . . well, shit, I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I’m ready to do something other than bark at children to BE CAREFUL and STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN and CEASE AND DESIST WITH THAT HORRIBLE, BRAIN-RENDING SCREAMING BEFORE MOMMY’S HEAD FUCKING EXPLODES while simultaneously shoveling butter-drenched leftovers in my nag-hole, I guess.

I can really tell a major difference in how I feel after several days of eating so much junk. For one thing, I took a slobbering nap today—or at least tried, before Dylan magically sensed I was starting to fall into that wonderful state of complete restfulness and immediately began blatting from his crib—and I never need to nap. In addition to the lagging energy, there’s the general crabbiness, impatience, feelings of Woe, and the sensation of being painfully inflated like a bicycle tire complete with occasional gunshot off-gassing.

It’s so pathological, because while I’m able to recognize how crappy I’m feeling from sugar-binging, I still found myself baking “one last batch” of cookies earlier. Because Monday is a new day, so I may as well go out with a bang! Literally!

Well, ANYWAY, speaking of food, our Thanksgiving meal was a rousing success even though I technically didn’t quite get everything out of the oven at the exact same moment because I am not a space-time altering ninja. The children naturally refused everything with the exception of a small piece of dry turkey which Riley tolerated before joining his brother in front of that old holiday television classic, “Baby Einstein: Shut Your Goddamned Whining”, but everyone else professed to enjoy the meal in its entirety, even that Jello salad you’re so afraid of.


I hope you guys all had a great holiday. I’m thankful for sleeping children, fresh starts, and you.





30 Responses to “One holiday down”

  1. Angella on November 29th, 2009 11:15 pm

    I’m thankful for YOU.

    And for those sweet boys of yours (Including JB) that I will meet someday. I will make it happen.

    Happy Thanksgiving. Yo.

  2. Ginger on November 29th, 2009 11:18 pm

    Um, hello, no wonder you are tired – your kitchen is damn clean.

  3. Kristin on November 30th, 2009 12:06 am

    Pretty thankful for you, too, friend.

    Also: I think all this fitness stuff has made you look younger than two years ago. I’ve thought it a few times and I’m telling you because, dude, I’d totally want to know.

    Also: Born to Run? Is making me want to run in vibram shizz. Thanks for the recommendation.

  4. Debbie on November 30th, 2009 12:07 am

    I’m grateful for you as well..your blog gets me through some days. I actually did get everything to the table within five minutes of each other…it’s a Thanksgiving miracle!

    I am at the point where I am excited for Monday, because I am going to stop eating crap on Monday and get back on track. That’s how you know you did way too much eating over the weekend.

    But still…that last piece of pumpkin pie looks awfully good…it’s still Sunday for another hour…

  5. Nila on November 30th, 2009 1:06 am

    That’s a great family pic. Even though the turkey’s paying more attention than your boys.

    Here’s to Monday and getting back on track. I wish my only sin had been Thanksgiving dinner, but I have no explanation for the 6 scoops of chocolate ice cream I had last night.

  6. robin on November 30th, 2009 3:45 am

    Thanks for posting this. I was feeling kind of like an asshole because I was growing tired/impatient/cranky with the whole holiday weekend. 4 days is long enough, I was ready to get back into a routine of something other than gorging and napping.
    You look fabulous and more importantly your entire family looks radiant and so happy. I’m so very thankful for your blog to pick me up and set me on my feet this morning with a smile and a general feeling that someone else gets it.

  7. Olga on November 30th, 2009 4:24 am

    You look so beautiful! So does your family. I hope you find strength this new working week.

    And that turkey looks delicious even to a vegetarian such as myself (I’m a pretty new vegetarian though).

  8. Eric's Mommy on November 30th, 2009 4:49 am

    I’m thankful for you too Linda!

    You guys look great. I still fear that jello salad, I even read the ingredients over a few times and each time it got scarier and scarier. I am a wuss.

    I am also looking forward to getting back to the old routine.

  9. bill on November 30th, 2009 6:05 am

    Those are lovely pictures.

  10. Lindsay on November 30th, 2009 6:07 am

    Nice pics. Looks dinner was awesome and I hear you on the eating crap and how it just does terrible things. Looking forward to righting the ship myself.

  11. Amanda on November 30th, 2009 6:25 am

    I so hear you. I’m always looking forward to the weekend only to look forward to when they go back to school!

  12. Carolyn on November 30th, 2009 7:15 am

    I’m thankful for you, Miss Linda. You’re one of the few writers I read who is funny, thought-provoking, brutally honest and writes consistently. You have a real talent, and it’s a pleasure to stop by every day. Thanks for all the sharing. (and sometimes over-sharing–I love it all.)

    I can’t wait to someday read a book with your name on the front. And laugh so hard I wet my pants. How’s that for true fanhood? Looking forward to incontinence? :) Happy Thanksgiving.

  13. MEP on November 30th, 2009 7:59 am

    You and JB look exactly like I how I felt on Thursday — more proud of that turkey than you will EVER be of your children! It looks great!

  14. Ris on November 30th, 2009 8:12 am

    Hot damn your house looks so clean! And the fam, of course, is adorable.

  15. Melissa on November 30th, 2009 8:55 am

    That first paragraph made me adore you. thank you. And Thank God today is Monday – a school and work day.

  16. Shelly on November 30th, 2009 9:03 am

    With you on all of this. And that turkey looks awesome.

  17. lisak on November 30th, 2009 9:07 am

    Beautiful pictures. Your boys look like clones of each other. So do mine. I kinda love that they look so much alike!

  18. may on November 30th, 2009 9:51 am

    You’re funny, and your family is cute, and you sounded like Mr. Rogers today. Well, okay, only the last sentence sounded like him, but still. It was cute.

  19. Sharon on November 30th, 2009 9:59 am

    I’m thankful that you choose to share your life with complete strangers. I love your observations and I check your blog daily. I also am thankful that you have chosen to share your exercise goals with us too! You inspired me to do the Turkey Trot 5K in my area on Thanksgiving and now I’m signing up for the New Year’s Day 5k. You inspire me and make me feel better about myself for wanting my kids to shut their cryholes (I know I’m not in this by myself :D)

  20. JenniferB on November 30th, 2009 10:21 am

    I’m glad you had a good thanksgiving, although I can see why you are wiped out — 1) the clean kitchen, pointed out above, and 2) you’re clean and in clean clothes? What is up with that? You’re supposed to look like me, um, I mean, what I mean is, okay fine. You look great, turkey looks great, are you totally opposed to me inserting my head on your body for the photos I am supposed to share with my family? Cause seriously — the mean was great, but I looked like something not quite but yes, out of this world. In a bad way. ;)

  21. Aunt Becky on November 30th, 2009 10:25 am

    How do you manage to look so good? I think I look like death on a plate by the time dinner rolled around.

  22. Redbecca on November 30th, 2009 11:14 am

    I’m on a low iodine diet as of last Monday so no awesome Thanksgiving foodies for me, alas. However I agree with PPs – your kitchen is way too clean – no wonder you are tired!
    The tried and true holiday classic at our Thanksgiving was “Please Stop Screaming and Running Around Like a Lunatic and Watch Thomas the Train Already.”

  23. Samantha on November 30th, 2009 11:59 am

    You are awesome! And I am also Thankful for you and this whole blog world that I’ve found for myself.

  24. wordygirl on November 30th, 2009 12:23 pm

    I’m not at all afraid of your jellied salad. Our family has a jellied salad recipe too. I’m often the only one who eats it, and I don’t care, because it’s DELICIOUS. It contains both pineapples and shredded carrots.

    I’m glad you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving! And I’m thankful for you, too, but I was thankful a month earlier, because I’m Canadian :-)

  25. CB on November 30th, 2009 12:36 pm

    tell that Aunt Linda of yours to come across with a Big Easy Smoker Roaster Grill for your deck at Christmas. ;)

  26. Snarke on November 30th, 2009 12:42 pm

    Even though I spent the rest of the weekend cleaning up my kitchen is nowhere near as clean as yours! Too bad I don’t live near you or I’d offer to babysit so you could take that nap. You deserve it!

  27. Kami Lewis Levin on November 30th, 2009 12:59 pm

    Thanksgiving has re-motivated me to get healthy. It’s been a few months, but I’m ready. I just have to kick the damned sugar habit…

  28. Jessica on November 30th, 2009 5:47 pm

    I totally took Aunt Eileen’s Jello Salad to my fam’s Thanksgiving dinner. Regrettably it didn’t setup like jello, it was still kinda applesauce consistency. Not big enough package of jello I’m assuming. I could only find one size though. Can you give me an ounceage on that big box of jello? The fam still liked it, what kind of nuts do you use? I tried black walnuts and I dunno, it wasn’t fantastic. I will definitely be trying it again! I was yummy and I was thinking about next time maybe just making the jello-y part without the creamy deliciousness part because it tastes exactly like cinnamon applesauce, which I heart!

  29. twojams on November 30th, 2009 8:12 pm

    Awesome photos. I hosted a pretty good dinner too, but yours looks like holiday bliss!

    Also, I would totally go for that red-hot jello (hm, that sounded slightly creepy).

  30. samantha jo campen on December 1st, 2009 12:32 pm

    I’m thankful for YOU, TOO!

    Because man, you always make me laugh and aspire to be a better writer. Oh, and to start working out. So yeah, thanks for all of that!


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