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Dec
23
This isn’t the exact design of our card (I hemmed and hawed over card layouts and naturally found the one I like the best a couple weeks after ordering and mailing out the ones I originally chose), and the Festive Family Newsletter has been altered a bit, but if I could afford more than two damn books of stamps this year, and I had all your addresses like the good little stalker I am, this is what I’d have sent you:
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Hello family and friends!
What a busy year it’s been at our household! Why, it’s almost impossible to know where to start—but let’s begin with this very card you hold in your hands. We are very happy with this image, which took a mere three hours, 4928105 digital photos, two sobbing children, and the eventual threat of bodily harm to capture! Gosh, there were SO MANY options featuring a child with a vacant, drooling gaze, or an adult whose facade of happiness slipped for a moment to reveal the desperate, sweaty desire for escape burning deep within their soul . . . but we felt this one was the best representation of Team Sundry!
Go team!!!
2009 has been very exciting for John, what with the launch of his new business Vioguard and his new title of ENTREPRENEUR! It was a hard decision to say goodbye to Microsoft, but we all feel confident this was the best choice for him. Unless of course the company runs out of money, in which case we sure hope you have an extra room in your house for us! Ha ha! Don’t worry, only one of us still wets the bed! Whoops, make that two!
Linda continues to enjoy life at Workplace, where she is very proud of the fact that after nearly eight continuous years of employment with the same company, she finally knows how to replace the water jug—all by herself!
We couldn’t be more proud of our kids and their many achievements in 2009. Riley had a fantastic day recently at school where he received not one, but TWO separate Injury Incident Reports for running headfirst into doorways! We were so thrilled! One more and he gets Preschool Head Bump Bingo! AIM HIGH, RILEY! Dylan’s second birthday is in February, but we’re convinced he’s a gifted child because he’s been in the terrible twos for months! Watch out, MENSA! Dylan’s also talking up a storm these days, and his favorite word to say is “horse”. Can you imagine how adorable it is to hear a toddler say “horse” all day long? “HORSE. HORSE. HORSE. HORSE.” Oh, it never gets old!
It wouldn’t be a family update without some news of our pets! Sadly, our cat Meercat went missing this year, but as Riley said, maybe she’s not really on a cat vacation, maybe she’s DEAD! So that’s a comfort! Our elderly dog Ashley is still going strong, despite having the breath of a bloated, rotting walrus corpse left on a beach in the height of summer! Way to go, Ashley!
Well, happy holidays to one and all! Here’s to 2010 and even MORE heartwarming memories!
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Happy holidays, friends. You have been a huge part of my year, and I thank you for being here.
Comments
82 Responses to “Christmas card”
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I loved the card layout you had selected, but that one is great too.
And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that letter was Teh Awesome.
I love all the exclamation points. Fantastic.
love it. thanks for roping me in. I could send you one, sans letter though, if you’re interested. Hope you have a great holiday… I’ll be ready for medication by about 11a on Christmas with the kids home for an ENTIRE WEEK. (hold me)
I am going to visit and read this every time I am tempted to set the Christmas tree on fire.
Best newsletter ever.
Phenomenal. Just great.
I haven’t laughed that hard in months.
Merry Christmas!
I love the juxtaposition of the Stepfordy exclamation points against the sarcasm. Well done (!)
:)
Merry Christmas Linda and family!!
“…but as Riley said, maybe she’s not really on a cat vacation, maybe she’s DEAD!”
Oh dang, I totally laughed OUT LOUD!
Love it! Your family rules.
Ha! OMG, that’s awesome on a stick right there. Merry HORSE! Christmas HORSE! to all of HORSE! you.
U da bestest!
Happy holidays from Scotland! I have so enjoyed reading your blog since happening upon it via A Little Pregnant a few months ago…thanks for the laughs and insights in equal measure. And your photos are amazing.
Fiona
Happy Holidays to you too!
Merry Christmas, Linda!
Ah what a TRULY Merry Christmas message! Love it :) Don’t you wish we could all be that honest?! Or not…
Happy Holidays!
Awesome. Love it!
And your photo is perfect.
Merry Christmas Linda! I loved the holiday letter. I haven’t even attempted to capture the four of us for a holiday picture, so good on you for getting an awesome family photo!
Horse! I still can’t believe (yes I can, sounds like something I would do) that you forgot Dylan’s HORSE!at home. HAHAAaaah! OK not so funny, I know, I know but OH SO FUNNY!
I hope you all enjoy your family in OR for the holidays. We’re picking up a carload at the airport today and can’t wait to see the family and oh, you know have a damn break from parenting. :)
God, you’re like a real life Lorelai Gilmore. You are seriously my hero.
I bet that felt good… I wish more people wrote their TRUE Holiday update letters.
You’re so awesome. This had me laughing and laughing. Definitely a high scorer on the Swistle card scoring system. Have a great Christmas Team Sundry!
Happy Holidays to Team Sundry!
Psst: loved the letter!
Was anyone else just excited to finally know what Dog’s real name is? Or, uhm, is that just me?
Go Team Sundry!
I would love to write a holiday letter like that, but sadly my husband wouldn’t be amused (I married down, what can I say…just kidding! Oh, I may have to put on my bj face to make up for that one, oy) and I doubt too many in my family would even get it.
Merry Christmas Sundry Family, and Happy Horse, I mean New Year.
P.S. *whispering* Cat, I hope you’re warm and snuggly and torturing another family with great gusto, wherever you are.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Happy Holidays to Team Sundry! That newsletter is fantastic.
That is the Victorian obituary of Christmas newsletters. If only my relatives would send one of those instead of the trite, made-up crap they actually send.
Merry Christmas, Linda! Here’s to a fabulous 2010!
That is an astonishing number of !!!!! exclamation marks. Way to go, indeed!
I wish the Christmas letters we get would be as much fun as that one!
Thanks for another year of interesting, insightful, often touching, often hilarious writing, Linda – I’m looking forward to more of the same in 2010.
The very best to you and your family this Christmas and in the new year.
You left out how bloody damn fit you are, lady! You can run, what is it now, 50 miles without breathing?? And without a HORSE!
Fair warning – I am totally plagiarizing that. Hopefully I will remember to change the names…
Happy Holidays Linda & Family! Love the letter…just confirms my suspicion that you’d fit in well in our group of friends. Their Christmas letters are similarly entertaining and truthful. Although I probably could have skipped hearing about their diaper-wearing Pomeranian…
Anyway, Go Team Horse! May 2010 be the awesomest year yet.
Happy Holidays Linda!!
The exclamation points! The reveals of JB’s first name and Cat and Dog! This is one big letter. :)
Oh my God, the best part was Sadly, our cat Meercat went missing this year, but as Riley said, maybe she’s not really on a cat vacation, maybe she’s DEAD! So that’s a comfort! I read it out loud to Jason and we both fell on the floor laughing.
I hope you have a GREAT Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Linda and Family! Make sure you take a picture of the new HORSE and Dylans expression when he sees it!
You rock! That is the BEST Christmas letter EVAH! Merry Christmas and may 2010 bring you all good health, happiness and LOTS OF MONEY!!
Crap…I am totally stealing your letter for next year. Mine was way too boring.
Merry Christmas to you and yours…thanks for a year of awesome!
Love it! Happy Holidays
At the risk of sounding stalkery? Desperate? Weird? One with a fab. memory? I remember finding out Dog’s name was Ashley a few years ago when you posted a clip of JB singing in the shower. He was singing a song to an “Ashley” and afterwards you revealed that Ashley was, in fact, Dog.
And, if I wasn’t too busy shoveling Christmas Caramelitas into my gaw I could think for two seconds and remember when you first revealed John…maybe a past Christmas newsletter?
Anyway, enough with the crazy. I loved the pet paragraph the most! It was informative, sociopathic, heartfelt, sad, and hilarious all in like four sentences. Everything that a holiday newsletter should be.
Bwahahahaaaaaaaaa!*snort* You crack my shit UP!!!!
I remember the reveal of JB’s name…..he *wrote* his name in the snow. There was a photo…’nuff said, LOL. But now we get to know Cat and Dog’s real names?!
Happy holidays to Team Sundry, and thanks for the excuse to stop in here a few times a week for a hearty laugh. ;)
we love you.
Dude, if you really sent a Christmas letter even close to that one, you’re my hero. It is made of win.
Fabulous letter…that was great!
I still put up stockings on the mantle for our two very grown up adult children. I cannot bear to take them down. Enjoy those fabulous boys of yours and give them an extra hug from an ole lady – I can’t reinforce enough how those joyous years of childhood just fly by!
Have a very Merry Christmas!
Best Christmas letter ever, classic.
Seasons Greetings from NZ and best wishes to all your family :)
Great card Linda! And I want to thank YOU. You put a smile on my face and just reading you blog gets me through some tough days. Thanks for being a part of my daily (online) life!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Linda and family! Can’t wait to spend 2010 with you all via your blog! I love it for many reasons but mostly because it’s real and it makes me feel normal!
Yea! I always wanted to know Cat and Dogs’ names. Hooray! Shhh…I won’t tell!
I read your newsletter and thought FESTIVUS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS7-jcsB_WQ
Happy Hols to you and yours and many more blog posts in 2010.
I really like this Christmas letter. It is fantastic.
Oh my gosh, that part about Riley and Cat, although terribly sad, also kind of made me laugh. Um, hysterically. I’m a terrible person. But could you maybe write my holiday letter next year?
This was the best Christmas letter I’ve received, ever.
You’re hella inspiring, lady. We have to plan this Vancouver Seattle meetup thing (you should come here, I think) It’s one of my goals in 2010.
Happy holidays to you and your sweet, gorgeous fam.
My mind is totally blown by knowing Dog’s name.
dying, just dying. Happy holidays Team Sundry.
You are so cute! You know what I’m dying for you to do? That end of the year questionnaire thing. Can’t wait.
This totally reminds me of the last scene of Sex in the City, when Mr. Big’s real name was revealed.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
I have been showing your picture and letter to everyone that gets within 10 feet of me, and you are the big winner of the best xmas letter ever!
Ya’ll ROCK!
You outed your pets’ names to the Internet! Linda, I am shocked.
Merry, merry HORSE HORSE HORSE HORSE!
Can’t think of a better way to kick off my Christmas Eve than with reading this. Awesome. Merry Christmas!
Too funny!
Hi Linda,
I’ve never left a comment here before but I have been reading for a long tme. I just wanted to say thank you for making my day – I am stuck at work on Christmas Eve and that post made me laugh, which is hard to do when you are stuck at work on Christmas Eve. :)
Merry Christmas, and all the best to you in 2010!
Hey Linda, Happy Holidays to you too!
Can’t wait to see what adventures are in store for 2010.
love the card, and the letter is hilarious. merry Christmas and thanks for the laughs all year!
I think this may now be my favorite Christmas letter. Sorry to my family, they need to step up their game apparently. Happy Holidays to you and yours as well, and I hope the new year is a good one for you.
Merry Christmas!!! I check your blog everyday and enjoy reading it VERY MUCH!!! Thank you so much for writing and sharing.
I guess I figured they had actual names, but I always imagined that your pets were truly called “Cat” and “Dog”…in a Holly Golightly kind of way.
Your tweets and your blog keep me laughing on a daily basis. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas.
Happy Holidays to the…the…um, Sundry’s?
:)
Thanks for all the laughs and intimidating fear of future parenthood. Did I say “indimidating fear?” I meant honesty and encouragement!
Here’s to happiness in 2010!
Cheers (with the non-alcoholic beverage of your choice)!
Suz
and i can spel to :-D
Your posts always make me laugh out loud and this Christmas letter was no exception!
That sounds like a Christmas newsletter that I would write.
By far, better than any family update letters I ever get. Merry Christmas!!
Wow. You score BIG TIME on the Swistle scoring system! Best card I’ve NOT gotten all year!
Best holiday letter ever.
Also, what a beautiful family. We haven’t attempted a family photo yet. Mostly because of my fear of a total meltdown (mine, not Alex’s).
Merry Christmas Team Sundry! Thanks for a year of great blogging! (!!!!)
Thank you for making me laugh out loud when I’m at my computer late at night. Thank you for giving words to so many of my frustrations, and for capturing the beautiful mess that can be life with a husband and two little boys (no matter how wonderful they all might be–and mine are wonderful!) I am so glad I found your blog. I look forward to every new post. =0)
Great card, beautiful family! Your year-end letter is terrific! I’m still working on ours (for 2007). Maybe I’ll get there soon?
Merry Christmas to you all!
haha yeah, Cat, Dog and JB’s names have been mentioned a few times over the years…that’s what I get for stalking you since the Diaryland days though! WAY TO GO, JEM!
How can I get on your Christmas list? :-)
he! i loved this newsletter. i’m all for the funny and less of the boast. merry christmas!
I’ve been hoping you’d share since reading all about it on twitter. Thanks!!!! And, like someone mentioned above, I was most excited to learn Dog’s real name too :)
Hehehe…this is so totally funny. I am so tempted to copy parts of this as a counterpoint newsletter to all the sappy letters we usually get (”…Jimmy has been elected President of the Planet while Janey is now the Queen of all Creation…”).
[...] until my sided hurt at this Christmas letter. I wish I would have seen it [...]