It makes me happy that while I did eat each and every cookie I wanted to while we were visiting family this week (and believe me, that was a shit-ton of cookies), I didn’t throw my exercise routine out the window.
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I’m glad that I’m able to comfortably and easily hike to the top of a long, steep hill in order to enjoy the view.
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I like that I feel more adventurous these days, more willing to clamber over rickety fences and tromp around in the woods and explore dusty old barns.
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I ran nine and a half miles on Christmas Eve, and I am so goddamned proud of myself for that—for all the work it’s taken to be able to run that far, for all the work I’ve yet to do.
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I feel like I enjoy small things more than I used to. That I’m more centered. That I see more beauty in the world.
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I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully comfortable in my own skin. But I am happier, stronger, and more excited about the future than I’ve ever been.

2009 has been a hell of a year. I’m going to make 2010 even better.

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Comments

74 Responses to “This one’s for me”

  1. Maria on December 28th, 2009 8:01 am

    Beautiful.

  2. Joanne on December 28th, 2009 8:08 am

    Great pictures. Good for you – that 1/2 marathon is going to be a piece of cake for you!

  3. Wendy on December 28th, 2009 8:25 am

    Hey, what a second…you didn’t mention your kids in this post. What kind of mommyblogger are you?

    Kidding.

    My husband is a runner and I can always tell when he hasn’t run in a while. Life is just better when you are getting that excellent combo of good stuff you get from running (alone time + fresh air + endorphins= life is better). Glad you are in this good place.

  4. Kate on December 28th, 2009 8:25 am

    I know this post was all touching and shit or whatever, but all I can think is damn, lady, you look amazing!

  5. Stephanie on December 28th, 2009 8:28 am

    You are awesome.

  6. jonniker on December 28th, 2009 8:29 am

    I loved 2009, too. I’m glad you did, too. I KNOW it was a sucky year for many, I KNOW. But for me, it was amazing. And for you, too.

    Bring it on, 2010.

  7. Thursday on December 28th, 2009 8:45 am

    Your vitality shines, shines, shines in that last picture.

  8. warcrygirl on December 28th, 2009 8:52 am

    You are such an inspiration. I’ve beenm aking some changes in my life, all I need to do now is get the allergy meds right so my asthma doesn’t kick in and I’m starting an exercise regimen. I doubt I’ll be running any marathons but hopefully I’ll feel better and get healthier. Right now that’s all I’m asking for.

  9. SJ on December 28th, 2009 8:54 am

    You rock. And you truly are an inspiration. That’s all.

  10. Andria on December 28th, 2009 8:56 am

    Great pics! I always was looking for new places to run, as the same scenery day-after-day doesn’t quite motivate me. Of course, now the only thing motivating me is leftover fudge in the kitchen…But, I’m pregnant. And the baby needs the fat. (I keep telling myself that, anyway.)

  11. Kalisa on December 28th, 2009 8:59 am

    anxiously awaiting your annual end-of-year meme!!

  12. Felicia B on December 28th, 2009 9:13 am

    I can’t take my eyes off… the carrot and glass of milk. Oh, and you look great!

  13. beach on December 28th, 2009 9:18 am

    Rock on!
    Here’s to a fab 2010!

  14. Anne on December 28th, 2009 9:19 am

    You. Are. Awesome.

    I have no better words than that.

    Cheers to 2010!

  15. Debbie on December 28th, 2009 9:21 am

    Beautiful pics, as always. You’ve denied having a special camera before, but I don’t believe you. MY photos never look so good!

    For the first time in my life, I told myself “no” a couple of times over Christmas. I didn’t deprive myself, just moderated myself. One chocolate covered cherry after lunch, not four. My husband gave me his traditional gift-a box of Godiva chocolates. BUT–he gave me the eight count box instead of the 36 count that he used to give me. He didn’t want to toss our tradition out the window, but he didn’t want to sabotage me either. You know what? I haven’t had more than one of those truffles a day. That’s a huge victory for me. And I exercised nearly every day. I took Christmas Eve off because I was so busy, but otherwise, I pounded pavement or shredded every day this week.

    It’s because of you, Linda. Because you’ve shown me that discipline and hard work will pay off. Thanks for the lesson.

    I hope 2010 is blissful for you.

  16. shriek house on December 28th, 2009 9:26 am

    Wow, I love that 2nd to last photo of the meadow with fog and dark trees behind. So eerily beautiful, I had goosebumps.

    I’m impressed by your dedication and the internal strength it has given you as well as the physical. May 2010 be everything you want it to be.

  17. kakaty on December 28th, 2009 9:28 am

    beautiful post and all but when I scrolled down to the last photo the first thing I saw were 2 blue balls and a very large carrot stick on that plate. I nearly had coffee come out of my nose.

  18. Christina on December 28th, 2009 9:31 am

    Isn’t it awesome?! This rebirth of yourself. Or at least this is how I feel. Like I am back to being me only better. And I feel so strong and less sad/depressed wound up/free. I think that is amazing!

    You are amazing too. Thank you for your daily inspiration. Here’s to 2010!

  19. She Likes Purple on December 28th, 2009 9:32 am

    You’re inspiring, which I feel I’ve said to you nine gazillion times, my god, but you are. Anyone who tries to lessen your accomplishments or poke holes in your successes is having a tough time with their own obstacles, and I bet it’s hard for them to see you knocking down your own.

    I think 2010 is going to be the best year I’ve ever had.

    You too.

  20. April on December 28th, 2009 9:36 am

    You are so inspiring, Linda! I think 2010 is going to be the year I get (back) off my ass and start exercising again. Your posts remind me how much I loved running. I miss it!

  21. Suzy on December 28th, 2009 9:52 am

    You are awesome.

  22. Swistle on December 28th, 2009 10:01 am

    Nine-and-a-half miles is kind of a long DRIVE. Happy new year!

  23. Amanda on December 28th, 2009 10:07 am

    Jesus, that is a big carrot.

    Have a happy 2010! You are a very inspirational person!

  24. Amy on December 28th, 2009 10:19 am

    Wow! You are awesome! Beautiful pictures and that is a big ass carrot! Have a happy 2010.

  25. Donna on December 28th, 2009 10:50 am

    You look awesome, the photos are gorgeous, and my amaryllis hasn’t bloomed yet either. Is it just me or are they late this year?
    Also, I know why the carrot is so big, Santa has to break it into 9 pieces for each reindeer plus rudolph. Ha!

  26. Kaitlyn on December 28th, 2009 10:54 am

    Running does amazing things to one’s perspective on life. Enjoy, and merry Christmas, you deserve the peace that a sunny run brings :)

  27. apathy lounge on December 28th, 2009 11:16 am

    I haven’t run 9 miles in quite a bit. Proud for you, though, and just a little bit jealous!

  28. Feast After Famine on December 28th, 2009 11:16 am

    Congratulations.
    On the new outlook, improved health, hard work, the eye for the simple and beautiful.
    They are well-deserved riches.

  29. MichelleH on December 28th, 2009 11:16 am

    Damn, girl! Looking gooooood!! ;) Seriously, the colors in that sweater are great on you.

    This is so inspiring. You deserve to feel so proud of yourself. I am really aspiring to do this kind of thing. I used to be so outdoorsy and I am so out of shape after having my baby. And everything you’ve described is the exact reason why I want to be stronger. I just want to feel that nothing is holding me back from getting out there and tromping around with my son.

    Such great pics! It looks like you are having a lot of fun and saying “yes” to every new adventure.

  30. Elizabeth on December 28th, 2009 11:32 am

    Awesome pictures and awesome accomplishments for you in 2009. May your 2010 be even better!

    Thank you for your inspiration.

  31. Victoria on December 28th, 2009 11:41 am

    Good for you, beautiful. Good for you.

  32. mindy on December 28th, 2009 12:03 pm

    well I know that I cannot wait for everything you feel like “talking” about in 2010. It’s awesome that you realize how important taking care of *you* is for your family. One day I will reach that realization (and implement it!) too!

  33. Jinxi on December 28th, 2009 12:24 pm

    Bravo!
    I loved everything about this post: the words, the photos, the inspiration.

    Thank you for sharing.

  34. lisa on December 28th, 2009 12:35 pm

    so inspired! beautiful photos.

  35. Lesley on December 28th, 2009 12:42 pm

    I’m proud of you, too. I can’t even imagine running 9.5 MILES, never mind kilometers. (Still trying to figure out how one embraces discomfort and pain, as described in Born to Run. I meet it and find myself defeated most of the time. If you have any insights in to this, would love a blog post.)

    Btw, you also look hugely classy in your gear. I love the red running shoes. I don’t care what they can do, I just love the colour.

  36. Maria on December 28th, 2009 12:50 pm

    You are not only inspiring to the oh so many people who read you, you are also an inspiration to those amazing two little boys you are raising. They will learn from your example, and I think it’s a fantastic one.

  37. lisa-marie on December 28th, 2009 1:23 pm

    Keep up the great work!

  38. Jennifer on December 28th, 2009 1:34 pm

    Agree with Maria (12:50 pm) comment above. You are setting an awesome example and role model to your boys. They’ll grow up learning that women and moms can be strong, work hard, and do anything, and that will extend to relationships they have with women throughout their lives (teachers, co-workers, classmates, bosses, girlfriends, wives etc).

  39. Jamie on December 28th, 2009 1:53 pm

    You’ve inspired me this year. I can’t wait to see what you accomplish in 2010!

  40. Kathryn on December 28th, 2009 2:02 pm

    Awesome! I thought about you yesterday during my long run — when all that would get me through was John Butler Trio. I was thinking that I needed to recommend them to you for your ipod list. So, there you go. I recommend John Butler Trio — Sunrise Over Sea, Grand National, etc.

  41. Christine on December 28th, 2009 2:11 pm

    If you look this good in 2009, You’re gonna be smoking hot in 2010. Keep up the good work!

  42. Kristin on December 28th, 2009 2:44 pm

    You inspire the hell out of me, lady.

    Also: I am wondering how you like those Nike Free shoes.

  43. Mama Kat on December 28th, 2009 2:52 pm

    Dude.

    That was my barn!

  44. Gina on December 28th, 2009 2:57 pm

    It’s awesome that you have achieved so many of your goals. But I’m mostly in awe of that carrot!

  45. Anne-Marie on December 28th, 2009 3:06 pm

    I’ve always felt uncomfortable in my own skin…..Most sober people I know say the same thing….something to do with being an alcoholic! :)

  46. Jen B on December 28th, 2009 3:42 pm

    You are inspiring and you look GREAT too!!!

  47. Mama Ritchie on December 28th, 2009 4:47 pm

    I followed all that bullshit on Swistle’s comments and I’m so happy you wrote this. I knew you “before”, and seeing and hearing you now, you are just so much happier. You’re confident. You’re content. And that is what makes you beautiful.

    You’ve inspired me to treat my own body with respect. I’m not overweight – I’ve never had a problem with that. I’ve eaten anything I like and remained small. But I don’t treat my body well. The food I put into me makes me tired, makes me perform with less energy. I don’t exercise. And I want to change that, partly because I’ve seen how much it has changed you.

    It’s not about fitting into size 0 jeans. It’s about treating yourself well. It’s caring about yourself enough to do good things for yourself. Thanks for being such an inspiration.

  48. lisa on December 28th, 2009 7:26 pm

    Sundry….I love your blog. Its so inspiring and I love seeing pictures of you- I mean that in the most non-stalker, non-creepy sort of way– its so awesome to see that hard work pays off. There was a blog you wrote a long time ago (and I wish I could go back and re-read it if I remembered when it was) but it was basically saying that you have a choice every day when you get up to work-out or not. You have to put yourself first (and then I remember you getting a lot of backlash about how not everyone has as much “money or freetime” and that exercising is a luxury not everyone can have). Anyway– I think of that “message” every morning when I get up and get busy with Jillian and I don’t want to. Im so impressed with everything you’ve done and for whatever its worth *you’ve* inspired me to kick my ass into shape. I feel stronger/healthier/more beautiful now than I ever have. And while I’d love to lose say another 10lbs (just ten damn pounds– why is it so hard!!) I feel good about the way I look. I wish I could know you in person, I think you are so awesome.

  49. Meagan on December 28th, 2009 8:06 pm

    You totally captured it. I haven’t run hardly at all during my pregnancy, and I can’t WAIT to get back to it next year for all the reasons you mentioned. Thanks for being so inspiring. And ditto everyone else – you look fantastic.

  50. M on December 28th, 2009 9:04 pm

    You look so badass in that first picture.

  51. angelynn on December 28th, 2009 11:00 pm

    Hell yes. Thank you for such a positive and inspiring post. I’m rooting for you in your 1/2 marathon and beyond. You’ve definitely lit a few fires under people (including me). Keep it up.

  52. Jenna on December 29th, 2009 8:24 am

    I just want to give you a big hug (but that would be weird cuz I’m a complete stranger), but you have inspired me in ways I never thought could be possible. I’ve joined the NOLA half-marathon, am committed to my training, am exploring the possibly of starting a blog, and just being all-around kinder to myself). Thank YOU.

  53. Jen on December 29th, 2009 9:11 am

    This just makes me want to get up off of my ass to go for a run.
    Well done. You are completely inspiring!

  54. Penny on December 29th, 2009 11:41 am

    Did you leave a carrot for the reindeer too (last pic)? My mother in law introduced me to that idea, I’d never heard of it before.

  55. Amanda on December 29th, 2009 11:45 am

    I hope my 2010 is like your 2009.

  56. Shin Ae on December 29th, 2009 12:08 pm

    Wonderful.

    Brought a tear (the good kind) to my eye.

  57. Jess on December 29th, 2009 12:48 pm

    Dude, that carrot….

  58. Jess on December 29th, 2009 12:49 pm

    What I really intended to say, but couldn’t help first commenting on the ginormous carrot, was, you are totally inspiring. I love your posts and they are just what I’ve needed this year.
    Thanks….Happy 2010!

  59. robyn on December 29th, 2009 4:39 pm

    Amen. Truly.

    I too saw the blue balls, and the carrot, AND the super-alert amaryllis growing out of its hairy root behind you, and was surprised (and yes, just a little disappointed) that you didn’t comment on ANY of them.

    See? You are a positive influence … in so many ways.

  60. Anonymous on December 29th, 2009 5:00 pm

    very inspired in green bay, WI.

  61. vickey on December 29th, 2009 9:40 pm

    Sorry – just getting around to leaving a comment on your LAST post. When confronted with those kajillion twisty ties & a grabbing/excited gift recipient, I pull out the truusty giant toenail clippers. Just clip right through the wire at the front, & you don’t have to untwist anything. Another accomplishment to savor…

  62. wm on December 30th, 2009 6:41 am

    Sounds like a great year! Congratulations.

  63. willikat on December 30th, 2009 9:05 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey with your readers. You’ve inspired so many, including me.

    Last night I did an hour cardio dance class and then an hour of weightlifting. The day before I did an hour of bikram yoga. I can barely walk today, but it sort of feels amazing anyway. :)

  64. Karen on December 30th, 2009 9:08 am

    This is seriously inspiring me to get on my treadmill and keep getting on it. Nothing builds self esteem like using your body as the tool it was meant to be, rather than treating it as an ornament. Thanks for the reminder!

  65. Sonia on December 30th, 2009 1:12 pm

    :) Yes. Good for you!

  66. Mama Zen on December 30th, 2009 1:29 pm

    Sounds like you’ve had a fabulous year!

  67. Meggish on December 30th, 2009 4:05 pm

    I was going to say something really sweet about how fantastic you look or how inspiring you are, but then I was like OMG WHAT IS ON THAT PLATE BY THE MILK??? Naughty Santa!

  68. Amy on December 30th, 2009 6:46 pm

    Right on! Keep on trucking! BTW I put you on my blogroll…you are awesome!

  69. sarahbeanne on December 31st, 2009 3:35 pm

    I don’t know if this is the right place for me to post this, but I have a similar relationship with fitness & nutrition. When I do what’s good for me, I feel better in non-fitness areas of my life too. I’m pregnant for the first time & have kept up with my workouts, even completing a 1/2 marathon in my 12th week! (I’m slowing down now, not to worry.) Even though people say that being in good shape won’t help you with labor & delivery, I think they mean that having firm arms or thighs doesn’t help. But I’m thinking that all the times that I’ve done things that I never thought I’d be able to actually WILL help me get through whatever lies ahead. It’s more than physical strength & endurance, it’s knowing that you can play through the discomfort, even when conditions aren’t ideal. Continuing to move even though you want to do nothing more than curl up in a ball. It’s good to throw those challenges at yourself, that way when one is thrown at you (or someone close to you), you know that you can get through it.

  70. Nichi on January 1st, 2010 2:17 pm
  71. NTodd on January 2nd, 2010 12:24 am
  72. Jill on January 8th, 2010 6:40 am

    http://thesimonssay.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-years-8-days-late.html

    A few days late, but I had fun doing it!! Thanks!

  73. Happy New Year « good nugget on January 8th, 2010 11:15 am

    [...] at it. I’m not a runner. But I, like everyone else on the internet, have been inspired by Linda’s story. Yeah, I want to have a rockin’ bod, but more than that, I want to know what that crazy sense [...]

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