It makes me happy that while I did eat each and every cookie I wanted to while we were visiting family this week (and believe me, that was a shit-ton of cookies), I didn’t throw my exercise routine out the window.

I’m glad that I’m able to comfortably and easily hike to the top of a long, steep hill in order to enjoy the view.

I like that I feel more adventurous these days, more willing to clamber over rickety fences and tromp around in the woods and explore dusty old barns.

I ran nine and a half miles on Christmas Eve, and I am so goddamned proud of myself for that—for all the work it’s taken to be able to run that far, for all the work I’ve yet to do.

I feel like I enjoy small things more than I used to. That I’m more centered. That I see more beauty in the world.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully comfortable in my own skin. But I am happier, stronger, and more excited about the future than I’ve ever been.

2009 has been a hell of a year. I’m going to make 2010 even better.



74 Responses to “This one’s for me”

  1. angelynn on December 28th, 2009 11:00 pm

    Hell yes. Thank you for such a positive and inspiring post. I’m rooting for you in your 1/2 marathon and beyond. You’ve definitely lit a few fires under people (including me). Keep it up.

  2. Jenna on December 29th, 2009 8:24 am

    I just want to give you a big hug (but that would be weird cuz I’m a complete stranger), but you have inspired me in ways I never thought could be possible. I’ve joined the NOLA half-marathon, am committed to my training, am exploring the possibly of starting a blog, and just being all-around kinder to myself). Thank YOU.

  3. Jen on December 29th, 2009 9:11 am

    This just makes me want to get up off of my ass to go for a run.
    Well done. You are completely inspiring!

  4. Penny on December 29th, 2009 11:41 am

    Did you leave a carrot for the reindeer too (last pic)? My mother in law introduced me to that idea, I’d never heard of it before.

  5. Amanda on December 29th, 2009 11:45 am

    I hope my 2010 is like your 2009.

  6. Shin Ae on December 29th, 2009 12:08 pm


    Brought a tear (the good kind) to my eye.

  7. Jess on December 29th, 2009 12:48 pm

    Dude, that carrot….

  8. Jess on December 29th, 2009 12:49 pm

    What I really intended to say, but couldn’t help first commenting on the ginormous carrot, was, you are totally inspiring. I love your posts and they are just what I’ve needed this year.
    Thanks….Happy 2010!

  9. robyn on December 29th, 2009 4:39 pm

    Amen. Truly.

    I too saw the blue balls, and the carrot, AND the super-alert amaryllis growing out of its hairy root behind you, and was surprised (and yes, just a little disappointed) that you didn’t comment on ANY of them.

    See? You are a positive influence … in so many ways.

  10. Anonymous on December 29th, 2009 5:00 pm

    very inspired in green bay, WI.

  11. vickey on December 29th, 2009 9:40 pm

    Sorry – just getting around to leaving a comment on your LAST post. When confronted with those kajillion twisty ties & a grabbing/excited gift recipient, I pull out the truusty giant toenail clippers. Just clip right through the wire at the front, & you don’t have to untwist anything. Another accomplishment to savor…

  12. wm on December 30th, 2009 6:41 am

    Sounds like a great year! Congratulations.

  13. willikat on December 30th, 2009 9:05 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey with your readers. You’ve inspired so many, including me.

    Last night I did an hour cardio dance class and then an hour of weightlifting. The day before I did an hour of bikram yoga. I can barely walk today, but it sort of feels amazing anyway. :)

  14. Karen on December 30th, 2009 9:08 am

    This is seriously inspiring me to get on my treadmill and keep getting on it. Nothing builds self esteem like using your body as the tool it was meant to be, rather than treating it as an ornament. Thanks for the reminder!

  15. Sonia on December 30th, 2009 1:12 pm

    :) Yes. Good for you!

  16. Mama Zen on December 30th, 2009 1:29 pm

    Sounds like you’ve had a fabulous year!

  17. Meggish on December 30th, 2009 4:05 pm

    I was going to say something really sweet about how fantastic you look or how inspiring you are, but then I was like OMG WHAT IS ON THAT PLATE BY THE MILK??? Naughty Santa!

  18. Amy on December 30th, 2009 6:46 pm

    Right on! Keep on trucking! BTW I put you on my blogroll…you are awesome!

  19. sarahbeanne on December 31st, 2009 3:35 pm

    I don’t know if this is the right place for me to post this, but I have a similar relationship with fitness & nutrition. When I do what’s good for me, I feel better in non-fitness areas of my life too. I’m pregnant for the first time & have kept up with my workouts, even completing a 1/2 marathon in my 12th week! (I’m slowing down now, not to worry.) Even though people say that being in good shape won’t help you with labor & delivery, I think they mean that having firm arms or thighs doesn’t help. But I’m thinking that all the times that I’ve done things that I never thought I’d be able to actually WILL help me get through whatever lies ahead. It’s more than physical strength & endurance, it’s knowing that you can play through the discomfort, even when conditions aren’t ideal. Continuing to move even though you want to do nothing more than curl up in a ball. It’s good to throw those challenges at yourself, that way when one is thrown at you (or someone close to you), you know that you can get through it.

  20. Nichi on January 1st, 2010 2:17 pm
  21. NTodd on January 2nd, 2010 12:24 am
  22. Jill on January 8th, 2010 6:40 am

    A few days late, but I had fun doing it!! Thanks!

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