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Jan
9
I sat in her office on Friday morning as she peered over the edge of her glasses at my printed-out transcripts, which I had carried in a pristine leather portfolio I haven’t used since my last job interview, eight years ago. She tapped around on a computer while my hands nervously twisted in my lap until I forced them into stillness by locking my fingers together (here is the church, here is the steeple). Whenever she asked a question I responded with pathetic sincerity, eager to impress.
I was hoping for encouragement, a sense of reassurance. Maybe even, if I’m being completely honest, the sense that she was impressed with me in some way. I wanted a hearty go-get-em-tiger speech that would have me leaving the building with a thousand times more confidence than how I had entered—intimidated, unsure, feeling like I didn’t belong in the crowds of sweatpants-clad students who were younger and smarter and unfettered by children and jobs and mortgages.
Instead, she sighed. She was nice enough, but with that single exhale I knew I wasn’t going to be sent on my way with anything other than a headful of roadblocks.
She explained about the Oregon 3-credit classes I took and how they don’t transfer as well as you’d hope for the Washington 5-credit requirements. She pointed out the gaping math-shaped hole in my education and produced a diagram that illustrated how much work I’d have to do just to meet the base requirements for classes like chemistry and biology. She clucked over my grades, and told me that while she couldn’t officially advise me to do so, I might want to consider starting completely over, so as to not drag my GPA baggage along with me.
“The universities ask for your complete transcripts,” she said, “but to be honest, there’s really no way for them to know if you omit this information.”
Ah, I said.
So lie about it, then.
Just start over. Pretend those years didn’t happen. Start with a fresh slate and do it right this time. No one would know. If a shiny new degree is to be earned, it will be utterly untarnished by the failures of the past.
Fuck that.
I’m a very different person than I was fifteen years ago, but that life is a part of me. It’s part of who I am today. Every bad choice I made led me, in some small part, to where I am right this minute. I’m scared and overwhelmed by all the challenges, but I’m excited to learn and I’m by-god willing to put in the hard work to achieve my goals.
Those shitty grades? They’re mine, just like every other embarrassing or shameful facet of my past. I own them. Assuming I even get to that point, I’m not willing to fool some admissions process into accepting me. If I manage to plug away at all these goddamned transfer classes—if I actually find the time and money to get them done, if I actually pass the sorts of classes with descriptions that scare the shit out of me—I will be shouting my story from the motherfucking rooftops.
Goddamnit, I am not going to lie. And it hurt to have it suggested, even as gently as she did.
Thanks, I told her, and I left. When I got in my car, I startled myself by bursting into tears. Ugly sobs of regret and fear, thinking of this impossible hill in front of me. It’s going to take too long, it’s going to cost too much, it’s going to be too hard.
When I got home, I wiped my eyes. Put my papers away. Straightened my desk. Put the brand-new textbook on a shelf, cover up. Introduction to Sociology, one tiny baby step up that hill.
My class starts January 26th.
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Good for you, Linda. That’s crap about leaving behind all those clases that you have already done. Fight to have them transfer over. (and it may well be a fight). Be proud of what you have done regardless of what the grade says. There was learning that was accomplished. Besides, every class they do not transfer is a class that you have to pay for — at the new school (aka more money for them). I do not generally find higher education to be that heartless, but they often have the bias that classes from another school equals substandard education. Take your new baby steps and don’t let anyone take away the ones you have already taken.
All I can say is go for it. At least you’ll be moving forward, even if it feels like it’s a big hill ahead of you, one day you’ll look around and you’ll be at the top of that hill.
My dad went to college when he had a full time job, a mortgage and NINE children. Took him 10 years to graduate, but he DID graduate. What an accomplishment. You can do it too!!
You are an inspiration to all of us! Keep your head up and your pride intact.
I want to kick that lady in the teeth. You are on your way. Our past is what brought to where we are now. You are gonna kick Ass.
In one way, starting completely over would be good: If you really got as shitty grades in your base classes as you’re saying, you probably didn’t take much knowledge away from them, either. If that is the case, taking those classes over will give you a much firmer foundation to build your more advanced learning on. That is assuming that it’s not knowledge that you’ve already learned from other sources, like job experience. But, I know if I was embarking on a new science curriculum, I’d want to take basic science classes again, even though I got good grades the first time around, simply because it’s been YEARS since I’ve had to use those concepts in any real way, and it would make the later classes easier on me if I refreshed myself.
It won’t cost nearly as much as all you end up spending because you’re unhappy where you are (retail therapy does work, short term). Also, don’t buy new texts!! Try gettextbooks.com
HELL YES LADY!!!
Sometimes starting over IS good, I have had friends who had not-that-bad grades do it, but shit, you do WHATEVER you want, because you OWN it.
P.S. The one thing in my life that I was really, really, really good at was school. Let me know if I can ever help.
Congrats on going back to school! As a social science PhD student and a long time reader of the site – feel free to message me if you need ANY homework help! :)
YES!! You’re on your way. It may be a steep hill, but you’re on it now, and you’re gonna get all the way to the top. And screw that admissions lady, or whomever she was. You are gonna do this and be great!
I know how it is. I’m starting full-time school again this semester after eight years off for the military and traveling, and I know how frustrating the initial process can be. It’s especially hard if you’re finishing in a different state from where you started, I’ve found. But stick with it and feel free to get pissed off at The System on a regular basis, and you’ll find that once the wheels are in motion, the vehicle runs pretty smoothly.
P.S. If you borrow your textbooks from the library, take pictures of the assigned pages with your iPhone and then upload the images to your computer, you won’t have to buy the books.
You are so awesome. Congratulations, Linda. How frickin’ marvelous. Woo!
AWESOME! You are awesome. Congratulations.
I don’t know if there is one in Seattle, but I returned to college as an “older student”, and had a wonderful and supportive experience at an private women’s college. They are much more understanding about returning to school, changing career paths, etc. And private schools don’t have to have the same by-the-book rules that public universities do. You would also be surprised at how much financial aid they offer to offset the cost of tuition! Good luck.
Go get’em Linda!
What an unsupportive bitch. Don’t let her get to you. I have been back in school for almost 2 years now at the ripe old age of 36 trying to finish my finance degree. With 3 kids (none past preschool yet)and a FT job it made sense for me to do online college, doing it with U of Phoenix. It completely ROCKS – class at 1am after I have been up with the baby anyone? It is super expensive (as in $500/c.h.), but my workplace reimburses 75% of it and I get grants and loans for the rest so that is the ONLY way I could swing it.
It is so empowering to go back to school so don’t let her discourage you. Don’t let anyone discourage you, even yourself. Each class you put behind you will motivate you for the next one and as you get closer and closer to the finish line (running reference thrown in for good measure) it is like a snowball effect, there will be no stopping you.
You will do great, and it is not too difficult to bring up that GPA with some A’s under your belt, so take whatever credits you can get unless you really need the review. Wishing you the best of luck, but I don’t think you’ll need it. Go girl.
If I could find them, I would send you my Sociology 101 notes. I LOOOOOOve sociology (it was my final major).
You go girl, you can do it!
You can totally do this, Linda!
Does your community college have a transfer agreement with UofO? I had a transfer agreement with UC, so I was basically guaranteed admission at junior level when I was ready to transfer. I went back to community college after my divorce and finally got my BA at age 30, it was hard sometimes but totally worth it! Also, take everything the counselors say with a grain of salt, and double check everything. They are frequently wrong.
Actually I don’t even think she’s right. I think the universities CAN find out about it, and it would be a basis to kick you out if they did. I have a close relative who works for a state university, and it is AMAZING how much information they put on shared databases.
In my opinion, I would follow her advice not to transfer the grades and to start over. I am not sure how much time/money that re-taking those classes will take, but it will be worth it to learn those subjects again now that you have a goal, you can see why the lessons are valuable, and what you learn will stick like it never did before.
I just finished an MBA. I always earned decent grades, but I was a year behind in math/science in high school, and therefore avoided them like the plague as an undergraduate and earned the oh-so-useful English degree (which was actually great for my writing/editing career that after 10 years bored me to tears). Undergrad requirements included an economics class, and it was the most difficult class of my entire 4-year experience. I barely passed with a C, and the confusion and frustration that accompanied during that econ class is still fresh in my mind 16 years later. That said, having managed to convince a business school admissions committee that I could figure it out this time around, my econ classes were the most fun, enlightening, and interesting classes during my time at biz school.
So I guess my lesson learned was that now that I give a crap, the subject actually makes sense and I “get” it now, whereas before it was just some scary lectures, homework, and exams that I had to survive.
So, just sayin’ — she delivered her advice badly, making you feel like a defeatist if you take it. But I think with a different attitude, you’ll appreciate her advice in the end.
Mico: if I were trying to transfer a bunch of math/science stuff, sure, I’d be thinking I need to retake that stuff. But these are mostly arts/humanities/electives. I see no reason to retake/pay for Art 101 if I don’t have to, personal issues re: lying aside.
Universities – and post secondary education, in general – are more of a business than they used to be and want you to buy as many courses as possible. In short, they want your money. Make sure you’re not being hoodwinked, and don’t feel bad about this process. It’s a negotiation like everything else.
Don’t study shit you don’t need. You’ll know when or if you’re in over your head and what to get assistance on once you get going. Don’t forget there are tutors out there, too.
I’m going to hazard a guess and say that for most students, English and writing are hardest. Clearly, you’re not going to have any difficulty completing term papers. And comprehension isn’t difficult for you.
Also, you’re smarter than many of those youngsters in the halls. Believe it. Plus, you’ve got life experience. That counts for a lot and makes attending university all the more pleasurable. You know what you want and you’re not filled with adolescent angst and doubt.
What’s most fun is getting to know your profs. When you get a really good one, learning is so enjoyable.
Don’t feel bad. You’re on another new path. Own it!
Well, Jan. 26th is my birthday, so I’d say that’s a fine day to start your classes.
Also, some people need to be a little bit less-freaking cold-hearted. That woman was probably on some power trip … crushing dreams of people everywhere.
I’m glad that the experience didn’t get you down. You can do it!
Just an FYI from a one broke student to another: half.com is a great place to get cheap textbooks – you know, for your next class ;)
My god I wish I had balls as big as yours! Congratulations on working toward such a huge goal. And Congratulations on all the shit that got you here!
GOOD FOR YOU!
I wish I could bottle the inspired feeling you, uh, inspire in me and so many of your readers and send it back to you. I am positively floored by your drive to better yourself and grown and change and learn and do new things. I hope you don’t get tired of hearing it, because I feel like I leave this comment on your blog a lot. But it is important, and very true.
Go get ‘em, Tiger. :)
Two things:
1. Although I cannot really describe exactly how this works, your previous GPA is really only relevant to getting in and transferring credit. It will not become a part of your final graduating GPA, so, in some way, you get a fresh slate now. At least, that is how it was for me, many moons ago, when I transferred to UW, and yes, I got the same advice about omitting prior coursework. Like you, I decided to own it. I couldn’t afford, financially or morally, a do-over.
2. I hate to generalize, but I have rarely had a positive experience with a transfer counselor. For inexplicable reasons, most have always spoken in terms of obstacles, not possibilities. Also, it needs to be said: rarely did any two counselors have the same advice or information about transferring credit. It pays to get a second or third opinion on the best way to navigate your chosen degree.
To that end, I would strongly recommend speaking with someone at the UW, perhaps in the Evening Degree program, assuming that UW is where you intend to earn your final degree.
3. (Okay, three things) This is a kickass decision, no matter what.
Good for you. Just. Good. For. You.
Lurker here! I went back to school at age 32 with 1 year of school and a 1.125 GPA under my belt thanks to partying too much my first time away from home at age 18. I graduated this past August and it was THE BEST decision I ever made to go back and finish. I applaud you taking these courageous steps to start school again. You will not be sorry!! Good luck in your new endeavor! It is so much easier as an adult, even with kids at home….hard to believe I know….
Two thumbs up. I’m glad you’re doing it. Don’t let people get you down. And Kari’s right–your GPA for final purposes is only calculated on the courses you take at the last college.
When I moved to Memphis, I was 20 years old with only had one semester of community college under my belt. After living here for a year or so I rustled up all my courage & applied to the U of M.
The day I had to go up to school to register for classes was harrowing. When I FINALLY found the right building, I walked in & no one would help me. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I walked out in tears saying aloud, “I don’t know whatever made me think I could do this.”
My brother convinced me to try again & a couple hours later he accompanied me back up to campus. As soon as we walked in the door, a student worker approached me & offered to walk me thru the process. Completely different experience than I’d had earlier in the day.
It wouldn’t be the first hurdle in my pursuit of a college degree – including alcoholism & an unplanned pregnancy. I walked across the stage when I was 30. It remains the proudest moment of my life. I DID THAT.
And you can too.
Good for you.
My husband just recently went back to school. He sat in classes full of kids half his age, who spent the weekends partying instead of paying bills and raising kids. I’m proud of him, despite how hard it has been.
You did a triathlon…you can totally do this.
YAY!!! Yay yay yay yay!
Momentum, baby. Just keep plugging away, and in a couple of years you’ll be able to see how much you’ve done, instead of still sitting there staring at the starting line.
You are fucking awesome, and an inspiration to me. I feel stupid saying that, but it’s true.
Who doesn’t have things they’d take back from their college experiences?? Don’t be discouraged. She was just trying to make you feel small (for reasons that, I’m sure, had absolutely nothing to do with you). You’re not small. You’re determined. And SMART. Give ‘em hell.
Oh man, good for you! I think you will love it.
I was a horrible student because I thought I was a horrible student. I flunked out of college because I was too busy trying to find fun and Mr. Right. See? I told myself, you are a bad student.
Then I turned 25 and actually wanted to do something with my life. I went to the local tech school but had to start in the remedial math that wouldn’t count towards anything other than getting me into basic college Algebra 1. I worked hard and actually found I enjoyed learning. I liked my classes and not all the students were young kids. I made some friends. And I made the Dean’s List. Every semester until I earned my AA and admission to my coveted 4-year school. I did well there too and would have graduated with honors except too many of my tech school grades transfered and I didn’t have to take my 4-year school’s classes so I didn’t have enough of their credits to qualify. Yeah? I don’t know either.
Finally, last year I went back to tech school to get some photography classes under my belt. I once again made the Dean’s List. And this past December I was invited to join an Honor Society. Even though I no longer attend any school, I paid the fee and joined that Honor Society just in case anyone ever builds a time machine I can go back to the horrible student I thought I was and say, “See? You’re NOT a horrible student. You CAN do this!”
Good luck and I know you’ll rock.
No advice here. But, I have absolute confidence you’ll do this, one step at a time. And, like your races, you’ll do it at your pace and make it to the finish line one way or another.
Oh, and it took me until I turned 40 before that first BS (ha! I know!) degree was finally mine. It was a long, hard road but well worth every modicum of pain and hard work.
I’m frankly shocked she suggested that. I don’t know about your state reqs and whatnot but I’m an admissions advisor in IL and if you were to lie to me about your past grades I’d still find out if you were applying for financial aid. So I can see her saying that, I GUESS, if you were paying cash. But dude, if you lie and they find out you could be expelled. So good for you on a number of levels. I’m literally scratching my head at the kind of advisor you have.
Damn I hate it when people make you feel that way….
(signed having spent some time crying on my steering wheel too)
But, by the same token? The reason you cried is because you know you are better than that and are surprised that no one else can see it just by looking.
She shouldn’t have judged your book by it’s cover, your cover says cute mom type, looking for something to do, but inside, where the jelly is?
YOU ROCK, CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO, AND HAVE THE BEST FAMILY SUPPORT, AS WELL AS BLOG SUPPORT YOU COULD ASK FOR, JUST TELL US WHAT WE NEED TO DO…MAD PROPS? YOU GOT IT, ENCOURAGING WORDS? YOU GOT IT. RETYPING YOUR NOTES? (One of us will do it, but you don’t want my skillz, lol)
The point is, it’s scary, but you can do it. Just tough it out, and the first day of class will suck and be strange, but swear, by the third class, you’ll have your feet under you….
Just a lurker, but I’m super proud of you. Starting over is completely terrifying and more difficult than most people understand. Bring your old transcripts with you – combined with your new successes they’ll show how you’ve grown and changed, and through that you’ll show them how kick-ass you are and how much they NEED you in their program!
Wishing you the best of luck with Soc!
Go get ‘em Tiger :)
Going back to school as an adult is 100x more emotional than you can even imagine. But it’s so worth it.
^ I’m anonymous… whoops :)
I agree with Rebecca- because that is just how i think- I went back to school at age 26- a single mom – it was a LONG ride, but I did it. I have a degree in teaching with about 31 credits in Psychology….I even graduated Summa Cum laude with my 4.0 at age 32- BUT- I’ll be damned that now at age 44, I can’t really tell you much about those courses I took and aced. But good for you- you are registered! Do what feels right for you- you will succeed- adult students ALWAYS do better!
Good for you, Sundry!
I too am going back to school; my classes start on Monday and I am TERRIFIED.
Damnit, WHAT are you going to major in?!?
The whole GPA thing is kind of a game, so maybe talk to someone else about the pros and cons, but be careful about letting your pride shape your resume (said by someone who’s workplace pride routinely interferes with her progress).
Good luck. Starting over is scary stuff. Thinking about doing a bit of the same over here too, and I’m just stumbling over a 2 hour, one time class, for crissakes.
School admissions – oh the joy. I went last week to re-enroll. What I did not realize were that classes started the next day (who starts classes on a Wednesday?) and previously was technically on the their on-line campus and it would take several days to get the records. Yada, Yada, Yada. So I start in March. But, since I’m currently a “dislocated employee,” I decide not to waste the next two months so I hit the local tech school. I signed up for a couple of classes. I feel like I’m moving forward.
Congratulations to both of us. God help us survive.
Ugh and Yup.
I was basically told a big hearty FUCK YOU even though I’m old and female and Mexican (cards I never ever play, to be honest) when I tried to enroll in a real university a couple of years ago, because of my past transgressions. From 20 years ago.
I was furious.
So I dusted off, and went to a city college.
And in doing THAT, discovered that what I thought I’ve wanted to do all this time… not so. The career I’ve thought I wanted, I don’t. 10 years of school and probably 100k in debt in a field where there ARE NO JOBS? Um. No. Just No. (mind you, I’ve dropped out 3 times. Twice at 18/19, once as a grown up. hah)
Instead, I’m going to go to school to do something that brings me as much joy, even though I won’t get as much respect. But I’ll have a JOB. And I’ll be doing what I love.
GO YOU.
Tons of advice up there, but I just wanted to throw my own in. I work in college admissions, actually, and can’t believe that woman. Is she a transfer counselor for a college, or does she work independently? Sounds like she’s a free bird, so I’d reallyreallyreally encourage you to go straight to UW (assuming that’s where you want to end up) and talk to them. They’ll help lay out a plan with exact what you need (and don’t need) to transfer. And they’ll be right, since they’re the bosses. Of themselves.
Anyway, congratulations. It will be sososo worth it. Shoot me an email if I can give any admissions insight. Good luck! :)
Rock on Linda!
Just think…in a few years this hill will be like the hill you envisioned when you started running.
KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES!
Hey, email me if you ever need any help with your math-shaped hole. (Ha ha, that sounds so dirty!) I have two degrees in engineering and I’m pretty good at math. Even though I’m not really putting it to use in my current jobs as an editor and a childbirth educator…
Way to go!! My husband is going through a similar experience right now — it seems Minnesota and Texas don’t share a lot of similarities when it comes to credits. But luckily for him, and I have a hunch you too, throwing out the roadblocks just makes him all the more determined to reach the finish line! Good luck sorting it all out. :)
Those sweatpants-clad students may be younger, but they’re no way smarter. And you want it much more than they do — you’ll be great! Baby steps, as you say. You Go Girl!
Good for you, Linda. I’m so impressed! I’m trying to get up the courage to go back to school myself (for teaching; my undergrad is in accounting), and your story is really inspiring to me. Thanks for sharing it.
awesome! you are really kicking ass at life right now!
and school will be hard and you will regret it at times, but it will also be so awesome, even if the rest of the students are a bunch of sweatpants wearing teenagers.
right now, 15 years after graduating highschool, after years of working, 7 years of nightclasses at the community colleges, 2 years off to have my little boy, i am finally at the uw studying art, exactly what i have dreamed of doing and didn’t think possible until i was finally here. and while i struggle to keep it together, to spend enough time with my son, to live with being broke all the time, despite the sacrifices my whole family is making so that this can be possible and the fact that i have been older than half of my teachers so far, this is one of the most worthwhile decisions i have ever made.
i can’t wait to hear your stories!
YOU CAN DO THIS.
It will be worth every penny.
You will be so much more focused this time. You will appreciate your professors so much more. You will get fantastic grades because you will CARE and you will try that much harder because you understand the worth of the money being poured into it.
I’m not saying that all undergrads out of high school don’t…but many, if not most, really aren’t prepared for college. I certainly wasn’t. And I can’t tell you how glad I was that I went back later. I was married, I had a child, and I ended up graduating on the Dean’s List for 3 semesters straight. This is after nearly failing out of college completely when I was younger.
YOU CAN DO THIS. You are awesome.
Linda, that admissions officer sounds like a twat. Yep, I said it. Her job is to create opportunity for people, not throw up roadblocks.
Make sure and send her a thanks for nothing card when you graduate! Because if reading this website has taught me anything, it’s that hell hath no fury like a determined Sundry.
(Mixed metaphor, yes. I think the point comes across.)
There you go again, inspiring me all to hell. Way to go, taking that first step. You’re gonna do great. And love it.
You’re inspiring. Thanks for sharing the emotional vagaries of starting something new.
Good for you.
I don’t think there’s any “too long” (unless you’re in a desperate situation). The time passes anyway, may as well have it passing with you moving toward your goal. Baby steps are steps.
Enjoy your class :)
You’re doing right…but most important — you’re doing it!
Holy crap, girl. You never cease to amaze me with your bravery and your refusal to take no for an answer. I can’t wait to follow you along this new adventure.
I’ll start with this: You rock! Of course its a big hill, its huge, but remember that first mile you ran and how you thought you’d never make it? Well you did and then you ran another and another and faster and faster and then you added in hills and sprints and, and, and!
When I went back to school I had very similar hurdles. Terrible math and science holes and really terrible early college grades. but, I got through the math and science (much easier than I expected, actually) and I have great grades and I’m two terms from graduating.
It WILL be hard and you WILL think of quitting but just know that I’m, we ALL, are proud of you.
Sundry, you are going to do FINE. You are going to do AWESOME. You are smarter, more responsible, and more motivated now than you were then. You are going to rock sociology, and then, eventually, you are going to learn to be comfortable with math. I swear. You can do this. It isn’t as hard as you remember. It isn’t as hard to the things you’ve done since then.
And when you’ve finished, no one is going to judge you by your grades from 15 years ago. They will evaluate you by who you are now.
It’s true — your grit and drive are inspirational.
Have you talked to anyone who has your dream job? I’ve always found it incredibly helpful to seek out someone who has the career you want, take them out for coffee, and pick their brains. People love to help, and they may have advice about the type of schooling you need and the best way to go about it. Because I think a new career is a goal, right, not just a new degree? Just a thought that might give you more ideas and strategies as you embark on this exciting new path.
Oh man, I don’t know why exactly but that gave me chills. You’re going to have the best damn story to tell when you earn that degree. All the best.
As a former student of the WA community college sys, a couple of tips:
1) transfer gpa shows up on the transcript separately than grades from the degree-granting institution. BCC cannot stipulate to prev grades b/c they reflect the grading philosophy of a different entity. Trust me, the differences will become apparent after your first midterm.
I found this out when applying to grad school – confused the h** outta the admissions people b/c *no where* did my transcripts list a cumulative gpa
2) unless you’re absolutely dead set on the UOregon program, check out the public colleges in WA…the direct transfer agreement guarantees admission (to college, not program) for any WA resident who graduates with an AA/AS-T and a 2.75 gpa. If there is not enough space at the 4-yr college, they will grant you a *waiver* to transfer more than the max 90 cr into your program. This could end up saving you $$$.
3) check transfer equivalences religiously. For example, your AA/AS degree may require 5 cr of “quantitative” (math) but not care what specific course. Your actual degree program (at UOregon or wherever) may actually have a specific math they want. Use this handy tool: http://registrar.uoregon.edu/tce/index.php?state=WA&school=Bellevue+Community+College to make sure the classes you take now really count. Also expect some of the requirements for the AA/AS to be worthless at the 4-year college (like speech, bleargh)
***
Good luck!
I find a lot of people in university settings to be snotty for no apparant reason…I understand how she made you feel, tears and all. You’ll do great.
College GPA matters not at all unless you’re planning to go for an academic type advanced degree (as in, you want to get a Phd to teach classics or something) or you want to get into med school or similar. As I understand it, you are trying to enter into an area that should look far more at your in-subject GPA than overall, as well as your essays, recomendations and practical experience. Any transcript will also make it obvious that the bad grades occurred 15 years ago, giving a clear reason for the gap. Some programs actually prefer working with “non-traditional” students because people returning to school or starting later are often better at time management, life balance, and generally more determined than many 18 year olds.
To me it sounds like she’s trying to get more money out of you. Don’t let her get you down. Once you get your final degree no one will care about the GPA.
As an academic advisor for a local University, the one that reviews transcripts and suggests courses of action for adult students who are going back to finish (or even start) a degree, I’m pretty horrified at her suggestion. I hate telling people that their GPA’s will transfer in exactly the same as where they left off. I hate telling people they will have to retake certain classes. But it’s academic honesty at stake. If I’m going to require my students to be honest, then I have to be honest as well.
I know you’re not looking for actual advice on colleges and programs, but if you ever want to talk over options in the area, let me know.
That’s the best post I have ever read on this blog. Very well written and a killer tone. Good luck.
I think it’s okay to say that mistakes in your past are part of you, but are in the past now and don’t have to make up part of your current GPA. I don’t know what the legalities are (if you’d really have to lie, obviously don’t do that) but if you’d have a regrettable tattoo removed, you could start over with a clean-slate GPA. It’s just youthful indiscretion, either way.
I am looking forward to reading about your school adventures. I have plans to return to school one day and you are an inspiration. That guidance counselor has no idea who she was dealing with but we all do.
I think about how very long it seems it will all take and then I tell myself this: It may take me 4 or 5 a few years – but eventually those 4 or 5 years are going to pass whether I go to school or not – so I might as well go for it.
You will kick ass. And it seems you will have a host of people cheering you on. Myself included.
Dude…college classes in your 30’s are cake. Take a few and be amazed at how easy it they are. GPA sky rockets and your spending an hour or so tops. My transcripts were D D D C C W W W W W and now after a couple of online semesters i’m in the 3.0’s. Don’t be discouraged. AT ALL!!!!!
and just because my spelling and or grammar is wrong in the post above – means nothing.
@Meagan – gpa matters up until the point of getting into a major. Sometimes there is a min cutoff that the dept cannot waive, or there may be limits on the number of students admitted each year. What Linda might also be seeing is the impact of the DTA (direct transfer agreement) in WA; essentially, if you aren’t a high-school senior, the possibility of being admitted to any state-run 4-year school is ridiculously low without an AA/AS-T + 2.75 gpa. Low to the point of discrimination.
@Linda
Best advice will come from the UOregon people; make *absolutely sure* that you know what they expect. Your status as a returning student may allow you to skip some of the admissions hoopla.
I went to Highline CC while in high school and the admin kept pressuring me to take the speech and other AA requirements (the ones that wouldn’t transfer) and I just ignored them. By only taking classes I knew that transferred to UW, all my coursework at the junior college counted towards my final degree, which would not have happened if I met the AA distribution. In contrast, a classmate who chose the AA route took a total of 6 years (full-time) to get their bachelor’s degree.
Also, make sure that whatever 4-yr school you go to actually accepts transfer students. When I applied to out-of-state schools, I was told that priority is given to high-school graduates, with the exception of the direct transfer agreement. Essentially if you wanna get in to a public 4-year school either be a high school senior or get your AA within the state. I don’t know how OR handles admissions, but their staff should be able to answer those questions.
The counselor has a vested interest (her job) in maxing the number of students that achieve a degree. A college’s rep in large part relies on its matriculation rate (the percentage of entering students that graduate), so there’s added pressure from admin. A good counselor will balance your needs with that of the institution, and it sounds like this woman hasn’t reached that level of competence.
###
Just tackle this like you have the running: identify the necessary elements for success (coursework, admissions) and find the best route for *your* success….The path less taken, makes all the difference, no?
Hey, I just took sociology last semester and aced it. Good luck. I completely understand where you are coming from..I had a lot of promise in my formative years and yet I crashed and burned at times and didn’t go to art school despite a full scholarship..now I’m 29 and a nurse, who is still in school. It has been a hard road. My parents didn’t help me through school, and looking at my loans-I CRINGE…but I also know it was either that or have a menial job. This will be the first semester in three years that I have not been in school full-time–I’m having a baby next month. Anyway, it’s a hard road, but keep focused at the finish.
College is a business, they’re there to make money, yet they’ll turn around and scrutinize you about your past, grades, etc. like your counselor. Don’t sweat it. The past is the past. It’s an education just going through the whole college process unscathed and not screwed over. Good luck!
Btw, you know what this school journey means. All the people who think education is for elitists are going to say you’re trying to shame them.
Sorry, couldn’t resist. Hehe.
(Running marathons AND going to school…the nerve!)
writing this is really brave.
and when you graduate make sure you link back to this post and remember to give yourself a big fuck-off high five.
you rock!
I don’t have any advice to offer, as many other people seem to, but I just wanted to tell you how much of an inspiration you are. I have no doubt that you will kick ass at this.
Good for you! This is just so so impressive. Your life inspires me in so many ways.
She is a hag, and you are my hero. I’m so glad you didn’t let her obvious disregard for the non-traditional student stand in your way. You can totally do this, and once you start taking classes, you’re not going to believe how quickly it goes. And you’re going to aboslutely love feeding your brain in that way. I have been an adult student in a very traditional student world, and walking into that first class was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Totally worth it though.
And it will be totally worth it when I finish. :) I’m taking a little time off, and unlike the first time I took time off, I fully intend to complete my degree.
You are amazing, you will go and finish and I can’t wait to read your book about it. Me and about 2 million other people.
Education is wasted on the young – at least some of us. i was in no way ready to recognize the responsibility and long term effects and OPPORTUNITIES of my schooling back them. And I am a product of my failures and triumphs. You go get ‘em Girl! Battle scars and beauty marks and all.
I work at a university and one of the benefits is that after a year of employment, we get to take one free class per semester. I had a similar experience you did, including the math-shaped hole in my transcript and finding out most of the credits I took at various schools elsewhere wouldn’t transfer. But I had 63 credits that DID transfer (including Public Speaking thank god), and I figure it’s better than nothing. One step at a time is better than one more regret is how I’m looking at it.
When my husband went back to school he did not try to transfer any of his credits from previous schoolwork (also with not stellar grades, and in a different country) not because he was embarrassed about them, but because he felt they just weren’t relevant anymore. He’s scrupulously honest and it never seemed like lying to either of us, rather streamlining, since, furthermore, the process of getting them transferred would have been stressful and uncertain anyway. Really to him trying to use those credits would have been more disingenuous since they don’t reflect him now. But you do what feels right to you, of course. Just another way of looking at it.
As a university instructor myself I really prefer adult students–they’re often much more conscientious and of course more motivated–so that’s in your favor!
I’m cheering for you, just absolutely smiling at your guts, your determination. Me, I would not spend one single penny or one single second on a class that I didn’t absolutely need to meet my next goal. Those other, younger, students are at a big disadvantage because their future is all question marks and what if’s etc. You know exactly what you want, and you want the shortest, quickest path to your goal… the scenic route is for those looking for parties or tail. =)
So, I’m going to keep cheering for you. Go Linda!!!!
I have to throw in my .02 cents as a former community college advisor and university admissions person.
I don’t exactly agree with her advice but I don’t think she was judging you or trying to put up a roadblock. In my job as a community college advisor, I worked with literally hundreds of adults in your situation and nearly 100% of them were dismayed to discover that the GPA they earned when they were not taking college seriously the first time still counts. But how much it counts depends on the person and the career path. For example if “A” wants to come to the community college and earn a nursing degree here, “A”’s previous college work (say a 2.0 GPA)is probably not going hurt her or him as long as they meet all the degree requirements at the community college. But if “B” who also has a 2.0 GPA and wants to transfer to the university and then to grad school, that 2.0 is going to be a potentially big problem if the university or grad school is competitive.
There are a bunch of variables of course but I would think this woman was just trying to be as honest (in a way) as possible when she was telling you the past grades could be a problem later on.
That said, as a university and grad school admissions officer, I was always impressed when adult students returned to school and could show me A) an upward grade trend and B) a great written statement that explains the past performance and articulates why they were starting this challenge now. I am 100% confident you’d be able to do both of those things really well.
I love goals that can be measured. Like crossing the finish line after 13.1 miles and that college diploma. You’re going to kick ass! At both.
You go girl! I’ll be paying on my education from beyond the grave, but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. It was hard, and took me seven years, and I’ll probably never make a lot of money with a BA in English, a BA in Art and an MFA in Photography, but all of those make me feel fulfilled and whole. Even though taking requirements and math classes SUCK, you won’t regret it. I look forward to seeing photos of you in your cap & gown in a few years!
You can DO this! When I was in high school, I was an honor student, that scraped by on test scores, got pregnant, dropped out in 11th grade, bored to tears, went back to an alternative school. I graduated before my class. Then took 15 years off. Never took the SATs, ACTs or anything. Decided in 2005 I was going to college. Like you, math is not my strong suit. I did so badly on that part of the test that they thought they had the scores mixed w/someone else. I muddled through the remedial classes and went on to get my associates graduating Magna cum Laude. Sadly had to take 2 years off but I am back at it again. I start classes on Jan. 19. I am much older than 95 percent of my classmates but dammit I’m doing it.
Don’t let the past grades bother you, don’t lie, it will catch up to you. Just forge ahead and do it because you CAN!
I am really, really impressed. That’s all.
You will never like an advisor. Ever. I still feel like crying whenever I run into mine in the hall. :)
You’re awesome and you can do this!
I’m a lurker–I’ve been reading for years but have never posted because in so many ways you are intimidating (and because, lets face it, I have nothing of any real value to add, right?).
But I guess I thought maybe I did have something valuable to say today? (And maybe I’m wrong) So, just in case it makes one iota of a difference, know that I teach one of those frustrating transfer classes at a local community college and it is the students like you who make my job worthwhile. People like you make classes like mine more real, more enjoyable, and so much more rich than they would be if I had to stare out at a class full of 18 year olds who have always done everything “right”.
So, on behalf of all your future professors (who may be to busy or preoccupied to say it) Thank you for being brave enough to do what so many others aren’t. Congrats on taking the first steps. And good luck. I hope the journey takes you where you want to go.
Hey don’t et this get you down. It’s one class at a time. I graduated from college when I was thirty; after dropping out of high school. I graduated from aw School at 38. So I know what it’s like to face a long road.
Remember this: as an older student the journey itself is so much richer. I felt so lucky to be in that University, years after I had given up on myself. And I did very well. After all, I didn’t have to go out and figure out how much beer I could drink.
I went to Law School as a single mom with a 2 1/2 year old. Crazy! I loved every minute of it and graduated with honors. My life experience made me a better student. And I managed my stress better than the young single non parents because my boundaries were clear: school was getting x amount of time, the rest was for my son. Period.
Don’t let anything or anyone deter you. This is the land of second chances.
Yay! you won’t be sorry. It’s going to be a great experience.
Good luck to you. That’s a big task, but better to live big than live scared.
I took a theatre course in university that would count as my required English credit. Might be more fun to see a bunch of plays and write some reviews, I figured, rather than read a year’s worth of weird old literature. Bad idea. A year’s worth of crappy plays is just as bad, and likely worse. I had to go to a play just about every freaking week. College and local community theatre – terrible stuff. I often wept with boredom, or nodded off, while sitting by myself in some back alley theatre on a Friday night. I don’t know what degree you’re pursuing, but that course is not recommended.
That conversation is precisely what has kept me from going back to school. Thanks, once again, for talking about it. You may just inspire me to stop being afraid and just do it!
You rock…but I am sorry it seems so daunting. I fucked around my freshman year (actually this guy used all his jedi mind tricks to fuck with my head). I got so behind I failed basic algebra and had to do my sophomore year twice. I ended up getting my shit together and graduated with honors. Even with all that on my transcript I was accepted into the advanced standing program at the best university in my field. But, I don’t think I would have tried as hard if I didn’t have all that heap of crap to overcome. You are right…that is part of who you are and what got you to this point. Embrace it and start running up that hill. Before you know it, you’ll be at the top and telling the naysayers to suck it! And every time it starts to get really hard, take a look at that old transcript and remember who you are NOW! That took guts to go in there, by the way. If you can do that, you can do anything. And your kids will think you are a rock star too!
You can do it!!! Having worked in Admissions for a number of years, I can tell you that you should seek out some other schools. Perhaps even consider classes online? If a school in Oregon granted you credit, perhaps they have a program you can complete remotely or at a satellite/affiliated campus?
I did this myself and while it took me 4 years to complete the degree while working full time and dealing with life, those poor grades of the past have taught you more than any textbook ever will.
Oh I know those tears of regret and frustration all too well. I’m tearing up just reading about yours. I hate that something like a raised eyebrow from some school administrator or a letter of rejection can make us feel like such failures – but you’re right, fuck that! I didn’t earn my first degree (bachelor of science, biology) until I was 31. I decided to go to school at 28 and I was Terrified. Terrified of math placement exams, chemistry and OMG ORGANIC chemistry. I had partied my twenties away and felt like such an impostor amidst all freaking teenagers but you know what? I graduated summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.9 and a perfect 4.0 in my major. You CAN do this – it will be scary but just like running you will amaze yourself with what you can do when you really want it. KICK ASS!
Man, I feel like such a slug! That’s great you’re going for it. And that lady? She’s a nobody. You’re a somebody.
I am thrilled for you! You are going to get so much joy from using your brain, you won’t believe it. You will be so motivated, and so appreciative of the opportunity, that you will outshine all the hungover, entitled, lazy kids.
(Also — as a lawyer, I had a different take on her advice. Nondisclosure, if disclosure is not required, is simply a legitimate and permissible choice about how to present yourself at your best. It’s no more a lie than the decision to stand up straight, brush your teeth, and blow dry your hair every morning. Are you ALWAYS sparkly and freshlooking? Of course not. But it’s not a “lie” to present yourself that way.)
Just keep telling yourself you can do this. I was where you are now a little under a year ago, and I finally had gotten tired of doing the same amount of work as my co-workers, but getting paid about 1/3 of what they’re getting paid. I’m still working through the trials and tribulations at this point (like not being able to afford text books after my husband lost his job), but I am still here.
You are going to be OK. Wipe your tears and press on regardless, because just like parenting, it will be worth every tear, every minute of stress, and every moment spent wondering “why did I get myself into this?”.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
And look, you never even needed that go-get-em-tiger speech because you made your own! Yeah! Go kick some sociology ASS, my friend!
You’re gonna do great. So proud of you.
Oh I LOVE Sociology! Fantastic work – I am wishing you all the luck in the world.
I love this! I totally sucked at college..didn’t give two shits about it except the courses that actually meant something to my “career”….well some of them. For that…I’m convinced education only gets you so far..the rest is your attitude, ambition, work ethic..and sassiness. Keep bringing it girl and you’ll rock their world.
p.s. in no way did I mean to discourage your decision to get back to the books…..with my whine about “education only gets you so far”. that comment comes from someone obviously too dumb to understand college..thus making it work for her.
you’ll be great
Good for you! You won’t regret it once you’re done. I was in college a very long time and had to repeat a number of classes I’d failed or done poorly in the first time around to get my gpa up to a decent number. I was older than the average college student at the time but I think I learned more. I knew…by the time I went back after fucking up so badly the first two years….why I was there. I had a goal and I took advantage of what I could. Sociology is easy and fun. Enjoy it!
HELLZ Yeah! Way to go, Linda!! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!
You can totally do this! I graduated a couple of years ago with a BS in holistic health and I loved it. I actually miss school now! Once I got past all the general crap, the rest was really fun. And even if I never actually get a job that is related to it, the lessons I learned have influenced my life, as well as my husband and son’s for the better!
That took so much integrity, and honesty, to not just start over. I admit, I probably would have lied. I tend to find the easy way out. But I have learned finally in almost 40 years that taking the easy way out doesn’t feel as good as doing things the right way, even if it’s harder.
Good luck with classes!!
Awesome first choice for a course to get reaquainted with the college classroom – I was a sociology major – lots of reading and writing (I have no worries for you on that one!) and a lot of it is common sense when you really get down to it.
My husband has been in school full time (first undergrad, now MBA to be finished next month!) for most of the 12 years that we’ve been together – he has worked full time through it all, and we have a home and an almost 4 year old. You can do this!
@Victoria: as I understand it, disclosure is required, and in fact if it’s discovered that a person lied (unlikely, I suppose) it’s grounds for being dismissed from the program.
Congrats! :) Good for you on refusing to start such a wonderful new part of your life with a lie.
Though I agree you were right not to lie, I do think you should consider stealing… a grocery shopping cart with which you should haul around your gigantic, awe inspiring cojones.
I advised you take the classes from scratch if they were quantitative. Hearing that they are humanities classes, disregard all my advice. As happy as I am that I can impress people with random bits of trivia about Melville or Rosenquist, those classes and ESPECIALLY my grades in them never meant much in the long run. No one, except an admissions committee, is going to EVER give a crap about your grades. And in the case of that committee, you will have a lot of other means to impress them — essays, work experience, life experience, etc., and we KNOW you’ll bowl them over in those respects.
Go, Sundry, go! I think you will really like “sosh.” It’s fun, and your experience as a longtime participant-observer of online behavior would make for a most interesting paper. I wonder if there is another counselor in that office you could see, because my gosh, that lady needs some counseling of her own, and I don’t mean the academic kind. I am shocked she would advise you to fudge anything, and the sighing! Later you can use your expertise in human anatomy to advise her, in precise Latin terms, how to unplug her head from her patootie.
I could have written this exact thing last August. It sucks. Once you get that first semester back in school under your belt it doesn’t seem quite so daunting. It’s actually kind of fun.
Also, having a little adult perspective on how expensive going back to school is (both in actually currency and in time) is GREAT motivation to keep you studying while you’d prefer to be doing everything else.
Good luck!!
Listen up lady, and LISTEN UP GOOD.
You can do this. Your past is irrelevant. Any professor will see your potential, and any admissions department can be worked around. You will rock this.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself, for I had my own breakdown recently for the same reason, on the same topic, in the same situation. GAH. Let’s just knock this shiz out, shall we?
I think most people who said get a 2nd opinion were right and most schools have a College of General Studies degree program which might be a good place to start talking.
also, when I was looked at grad school, a friend said to me, I know it seems crazy, all this work and struggle, but, in five years you can have a master’s degree, or in five years, you can be where you are now, with no degree. Either way you’ll be five years older. It gave me the right amount of kick-in-the-butt.
Linda, I totally needed this. I’m 36, and very close to deciding to do an MFA. I never had the desire to go to grad school, and then the idea completely caught fire with me last year. I have a boy Dylan’s age, and the costs associated with going to school now that child care figures in make my head spin. But like you, I suspect it’s completely what I need to be doing at this stage in my life. Maybe I’ll finish before age 45, if I’m lucky. But I have to think that things are leading me –and you– on this path for good reason. So we didn’t figure it out in our twenties. Damn, if we aren’t going to rock it that much more now. Thank you.
yes yes— i start school this week too, though moving sort of the opposite direction (fitness to business). i’m scared i’m going to be the old hippy lady in a room full of 20 year old geeks. and my syllabus says we start group projects! this week!
excited for you, and excited to get to read about someone else navigating this whole back to school thing. lots of luck!
Don’t have anything intelligent to say about transfer requirements, but can safely say this: I know people older than you with more children and more debt than you, with less talent and more fucked-upness than you, who have embarked on advanced degrees in all sorts of fields and succeeded. It is not an impossible hill. It’s not going to take too long. It’s not going to cost too much. It’s not going to be too hard. Not if this is what you want to do and what you are determined to do.
Getting sober was hard. Getting fit was hard. Growing and bearing babies was hard. But you did all those hard things because you REALLY wanted them, and now you have enjoyed the rewards. You can do this, it will be fucking hard at times, and you will eventually taste the rewards.
As a proffy at a community college, students who are parents, who have a clue about how unmerciful the working world can be — they are always my bestest students. You will be the bestest, Linda.
Good for you! I don’t remember how I found your blog, but every time you publish a new post I am so, so glad I did. You CAN do this. I can’t wait to follow along via your blog.
Yay! Congratulations!
Remember that comment heard round that was about, I don’t even know, Heather Armstrong’s new bathroom? I think? The WE WILL ALL DIE thing?
Well, I just want to put the force of THAT behind this:
YOU ARE SO COOL.
Uh, whoops, meant to put “heard round the world” or at least “heard round the blogosphere” but what I DIDNT mean to write was “that comment heard round.” For that I’d have to readjust my cowboy hat, kick up a little dust with mah boot and bring the toothpick to the other side of my mouth; “You know, that there comment heard ’round?”
Congratulations!
I’m 28 and a junior working on my B.S. I also transferred in a shitload of credits after a long time off. FIGHT for those credits. Just because you may initially get a “no”, that doesn’t mean you can’t appeal that decision. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for any or more financial aid. You’d be amazed how many yesses I’ve gotten just by picking up the phone and asking.
As an aside, spring classes just started this weekend for me. I’m in an adult accelerated program. One of my new professors gave quite the speech about how adult students are her favorite to teach – we’re smarter, more mature, more engaged, more hardworking and have life experience. Also? We get better grades than the “kids” as a whole. We rock. Don’t forget it!
Linda! Outstanding and good for you. I am in school as well just starting back after a long time out. We can bitch about midterms and finals together — and oh the stories we can write about dead week will be amazing!
No one can ever really convey how hard college is. Sure it is daunting all it’s own, but when it comes down to the minutes in class and on homework, no one can actually tell you how emotional the journey is. I too messed around in my teens at community college eventually taking 3 years to get a 2 year AA.
Now after spending too much time on a job I just got fired from, I am taking 27 credit hours so I can graduate in December 2010. Granted I have no husband or kids and am living off practically nothing, I am happier than I have been in years.
School is one of the most selfish things you can do for yourself-enjoy the time in class where no one can bug you.
Bon Chance!
I think it’s incredible what you’re doing. I feel the same way. Owning who you are, the bad and the good, takes more strength and character than cheating and “starting over” with a clean slate.
Yes, it can be hard. I went back to school with four little boys under 7 and finished my BA, and this with a time when I was separated from my husband. Then I went on to get my MA and even the professors were surprised. I went back in the 70s when it was frowned on for a woman with children to return and get her education. Just smile when someone gives you attitude. It helps you get over the rough spots.
That woman can go suck a bag of dicks. I swear, counselors and admissions people exist to weed out less serious students with their bunk. Never take what they have to say on faith. I bet she could get fired for telling you what she did.
You are smarter and more whole as a person than those hordes of sweatpants wearing children. There will be times when being back in school will make you feel OLD (like when you are stuck in a pre-pre-prerequisite class with 30 19 year olds who know everything about everything).
You can always comfort yourself with the knowledge that 1) you are about 20 times more likely to have good sex any night of the week than any one of them, 2) unlike them, your getting trashed and puking in your own hair days are behind you, 3) they secretly find you to be intimidatingly brilliant with your use of multisyllabic words.
Remember most of your young classmates will have spent years being educated under No Child Left Behind. I just finished an English 1A class that covered roughly the same material as my 7th grade English class many *ahem* many years ago.
Already lots of good advice by previous commenters, but my two pence – just go for it.
Just wanted to pop on and encourage you – I think what you are doing is great!
Longtime lurker saying…hey, I’m taking Intro To Sociology this semester too! I already have two degrees (BAE, MA), but am taking my baby steps back into a BSN (nursing) program. I’m taking one class a semester and hope to get into a program around 2013/2014. Cheers to New Degrees!
I can’t even tell you how insignificant this will seem to you a year from now. I started college at 27 with 6 CREDITS from an ill-fated attempt at college when I was 18 and sooo not ready. I’m graduating in May, and after 3 years of juggling, staying up late, stress, essays, APA citiation format (you’ll grow to know and love it) my GPA has never fallen below a 3.9. Taking the time off and getting my degree when it actually MEANT something to me was the best, best, BEST thing I could have ever done.
Good luck to you! It’ll be difficult going back, but I know you can do it! My undergrad GPA wasn’t stellar, but I tested well on the GRE & GMAT. My undergrad advisor told me if I can afford the application fee, I could try for a master’s degree, but I’d never get in. I sent him a copy of my acceptance letter & fellowship offer. I now have a master’s in math. Show those negative people that grades from an 18-year-old shouldn’t mean as much as they seem!
Also, I’m a fairly longtime reader & if you need help with the gaping math/science hole, shoot me an email.
If that advisor knew you, knew the shit you’ve overcome, knew the goals you’ve smashed to smithereens, she’d have known better than to tell you to lie and start over.
I’m proud of you. I know I’m just one of the many people who read your site, one of the many inspired by you, but seriously Linda, there’s a reason you have so many supporters. You tell it straight, and we know you can do it. We believe in you. I’m so glad to see you believe in yourself and I’m seriously hoping the expense/time it takes is minimal.
I’m so glad I found your blog way back when. You are the single most inspiring person on my blogroll. No lie.
Despite the fact that I’ve never met you in person, I must say, you continually inspire me. GO YOU.
You’ve got a million kickass comments here, Sundry, so I’m just going to chime in quietly with 1. you are one of the best writers I know and 2. you can do this. Obviously. Anyone who thinks differently, especially if they are paid to help people go back to school for godsake, is a bleeding idiot.
My husband, for example. Earned a 0.0 GPA two semesters in a row. “Dragged” that GPA with him all through the rest of college, then to a successful professional life, then to graduate school in biology. Where he earned a PhD. With that 0.0 still on his record. Now he’s a professor–and you know what? A better person, and a better teacher, for it.
You can do it!
Congrats! Good Luck! And you are an inspiration for being strong and keeping your history…moms don’t have time to do things over if they can avoid it anyway ;)
Thanks for posting this – I’ve really been thinking about going back to school and this is great inspiration!!!
I have a quotation framed in my office that really means a lot to my, by way of motivation. It reads “A year from now you may wish you had started today.”. Congratulations for starting “today”! You can do it!
Fuck that is right. I remember when I was 15, sitting pregnant at a social worker’s office trying to get Medicaid for me and my baby. I remember distinctly him laughing at me almost scoffing muttering something under his breath about how “stupid” I was.
I cannot explain to you the RAGE I felt. I still remember him,what he looked like, what he was wearing, how dirty his desk was full of paperwork. I remember with such clarity.
Sure, I could have gotten discouraged, but instead I used that rage to propel me forward. I graduated high school, VALEDICTORIAN and then went on to finish college, then went back for my MBA. Now I’m 34, with an 18 year old son. And I am so damnfuckin’ proud of myself. You know?
You can do this. I once had a boss who used to have a funny saying, “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” It was so dumb it always made me laugh. And I would joke, thinking, I just ate a nail today. :o) Sounds like you started eating already.
HUGS.
You WILL rock that class!
As someone who works in admission for the largest for profit university that exists…I strongly suggest you seek and obtain all transcripts from all other schools once you are admitted to whichever college you went to…and get those transcripts looked at and reviewed. Whatever credits you earned elsewhere need to be addressed..that is unless they are 10+ years old. Then forget them and move on with a clean slate.
p.s. Congrats on becoming a student! That’s the foremost and most important thing. I’m in my graduate program and will turn 40 before I complete it but I’m happy happy happy. I love being a student.
Go, Linda, Go!
Dude, YOU are a total grown up. In every sense. You, of all people, will rise to the occasion and meet the goals you’ve set for yourself. No matter how heavy your baggage is. And it always looks way heavier when it’s in front of you…
As someone who was in school from age 5 through age 29 (college, masters, and PhD) – oh, and there was the postdoc that I did after that, so let’s make that age 5 through 31, I commend your ambition. You go, girl!
It is hard to go back to school at a later age, that’s for sure, but you are also not looking for a mate, looking for a good time, seriously unsure of your future, etc. You could have the luxury of laser-like academic focus, which is rare in most undergraduate circles. (I’m pretending for the moment that you don’t have boys to raise or a job to keep.)
Here’s my take on the classes:
1) If you had a lousy grade on a subject that you really need to know well, forgo the previously earned credit and start over. The bottom line is that you need to know the material.
2) If you have usable credits for shit-for-beans classes, argue for their inclusion so you don’t have to waste time and money taking another fluffer class.
As for lies of omission… Well, one of my dearly respected professors once said to me that he effed up his first attempt at college. Flunked out after a year or so, I think he told me. He worked for a couple years and then went back (different school). Never submitted the old transcripts, just applied with high school creds and started from scratch. No one asked about the gap between high school and his first job, or if they did, it didn’t matter b/c he was starting from ground zero. And he’s now a tenured professor at a large research university. He laughs about his first college try. Worked for him.
Good luck to you. I started over with my mathematics education this year in order to qualify for an MBA, as I think I told you on your last post. I had a 13 year hole, myself. Have no idea about your situation, but I have started filling my gaps in knowledge at reputable Extension schools (UCLA for Calculus and Financial Modeling and UC-Berkeley for Statistics). You can elect for credit or not-for-credit. I am choosing them for credit, of course.
It helps a LOT that my father is an engineer/physicist and available to painstakingly show me the proofs and building blocks. But I was amazed to discover that I could transfer the skills I learned in law school to learning math much more easily than I did when I was young and my brain was more open. Even before I took the classes, I had brought myself up to speed to earn a high score on the GMAT and get interviewed at some of the top business schools in the country (like Wharton).
I really think you can do it. It takes a buttload of effort and I pretty much lost all of 2009 to it, though.
As some one who advises college students who are applying to medical and graduate programs, law school, etc. as one of my jobs, I wan to let you know that you *absolutely* did the right thing carrying over your transcripts. Not because of morals or some b.s. about how “they’ll know!” but rather because if and when you write personal statement essays for admittance to degree programs, internships, jobs, etc. in your field you can just explain. You will now go on to kick ass or and get the grades you need and want, and the contrast between your early academic self and the more driven self you are now is what will be impressive. Because you are so right–it’s who you are. Omissions and blanks are a lot less impressive than interesting narratives–yours is, and will be, an interesting narrative that will set you apart from other students and other applicants down the road.
And if you do have admissions essays to write sometime in the future, feel free to email me and I’ll give you feedback if you like–I do it everyday for people who don’t entertain me on a regular basis.
As another person at the other end of the university system (postdoc and instructor): Forget that… and try to find someone different to interact with – every department has multiple advisors, usually a few good and a few… not. You found the “not”. Unless Washington is far different from Colorado, your grades don’t actually transfer (will show up on your transcript as transferred credit only), but any credit you can bring in is something you don’t have to do again.
I do agree with June that if you need to learn the info and you don’t know it now, do take the time and money to redo it. If you’re in a new class and realize that they’re expecting you to remember something from long ago and you don’t, talk to the instructor IMMEDIATELY about how to catch up. I just spent two weeks trying to catch up a student at the end of the semester, and that’s far too late to be much help. I could have done a lot earlier. The instructors are PAID to teach you. Period.
I’m amazed that this person you spoke to was this discouraging- we encounter so many students, even in their first pass, but particularly “non-traditional”, who made some different choices than they would now. My own husband got something like a 1.5 GPA in his first pass at college (albeit with a 4.0 in skiing), then changed schools and graduated with a 3 something.
Fuck that, indeed.
But seriously, this is awesome, and an awesome step, whether you have those grades on your transcript or no. Go Sundry go!
You go, with your bad self. I’m trying to get up the nerve to do something like this myself and it frankly terrifies me.
Way to go – and sociology is FUN stuff.
Totally, completely, & utterly get what you’re saying. I have two unfinished, completely unrelated degrees with credits that also weren’t transferable. It’s disheartening, to say the least.
Good for you for soldiering on! you’re one tough chick.
I think it’s great that you’re doing this.
And, having worked at a University designed for adults returning for whatever reasons, I also call bullshit on the need to retake courses. Your old GPA doesn’t matter at all to a new program, and any school right now should be really willing to work with transfer credits… sometimes it takes an official petition, but we almost always did it (well, unless a student was trying to scam their way through a requirement they really didn’t have).
Anyway, good luck! I loved going back and getting my graduate degree. Being a bit older and more mature made a huge difference to how much I got out of it.
Spectacular insight by the first commentor . . . yep, those WOULD wind up being classes you’d have to pay for again. Good for you: for going back AND for fighting to keep your credits.
I just finished my first class after being away from it since 1993. I have a full time job and 3 teenagers. It is NOT easy but when I opened up at A on my final exam I was so proud of myself. I have a long way to go and plugging along at 1 class per semester will be hard but I am going to do it. So will you.
Oh, Sundry. You knock me out. You’re not just going to do this– you’re going to do it fully, wholely, as yourself. Without jettisoning the hard pieces of your past, as so many of us are wont to do.
This post made me cry. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and you just continue to kick SO MUCH ASS, in so many new and amazing ways. You are a triumph, did you know that?
I want to be just like you when I grow up.
you know what the right steps are for you. I work for a university and no, we can’t just dig up transcripts for students. We have to have your permission to obtain transcripts from any other institution. Besides most universities are too busy to even attempt to do something on the sly like that. While I’m sure you’ll have a great GPA, it doesn’t sound like you are one of those people who are going to school to have a great number on your transcripts. You are going for the knowledge that the degree will give you. Transfer in as many classes as you can! The school should be upfront and provide you with a copy of the evaluation so you can map out your degree on your terms. Go Linda Go!
You can do it! You can SO do it!
Delurking…. just to say:
Fifteen years ago, early in our marriage, my husband similar conversation with various advisors. Not owning his past grades (shitty) wasn’t an option, but there were lots of sighs and hmmmms and fairly pointed comments about the kinds of grades that one would really need to go anywhere…. ANYWAY, he’s a doctor now! One of the things that got him in was the AMAZING leap on his transcript, from 60s and 70s, to 2 years straight of 95s, it was clear to anyone who looked at his transcript what had happened. The past is part of your story, and it makes the next chapter all the more amazing when looked at as a whole.
You go. I know you will.
I’m 23 years old and I have a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts in Digital Arts, Cum Laude (With honor). I always wanted a fine arts degree. I can call myself an artist.
However, I’m considering going back for a BA in Physics. Specifically Astro Physics if I can. Why? Cause I love it and I love learning.
I miss the atmosphere. :D
You’re gonna love it. Also, Sociology is a fun class. I took two classes, one an Intro the other Cultural Anthropology. I hope you enjoy it!
OMG! I can’t stop thinking about this post! I am going back to school for nursing. Started my first prerequisite yesterday. Previous degree in Journalism so I have some prereqs to fill before nursing school. Nursing program gets 600 applications per semester and they accept only 60! Losing my shit about it! Got my work cut out for me and totally feeling the fear right now. Thanks for sharing your journey. It definitely keeps me sane and motivated!
It took me 12 years and a lot of um “interesting” life decisions before I finally earned my BS in Business at the age of 30. The last 3 years were completed in an extremely intense night school program while I was working full time. It is the most difficult thing I have ever done and the thing I am hands down the most proud of. Better than the degree and the education is the sense of power and confidence that the whole experience injected directly into my soul. That feeling is still there telling me every day that if I set my mind to it, I can accomplish anything. And that alone is worth every penny (and there were a lot of them!) and every sacrifice and every exhausting moment. You can absolutely do it and it will be everything you had hoped it would be and so much more. Congratulations on taking the first step! And for making no apologies and keeping it real!
I applaud your integrity!
Congratulations! I know its hard. I finished my Associates Degree the day before I had my second child. I’m scheduled to finish my Bachelor’s Degree at the end of the year. I also work full-time. It’s hard. But it is so worth. And I’m glad you’re not shying away from bad grades. They may not be the best, but they’re still yours. I wish you all the best.
Congratulations! I know its hard. I finished my Associates Degree the day before I had my second child. I’m scheduled to finish my Bachelor’s Degree at the end of the year. I also work full-time. It’s hard. But it is so worth. And I’m glad you’re not shying away from bad grades. They may not be the best, but they’re still yours. I wish you all the best.
You. Go.
Kudos to you for going back to school. You should do whatever feels right to you. I wonder though why you feel like you have to let those bad grades from the past haunt your fresh start. I went that route when I went back to school because I had no choice. It made an already difficult task feel nearly impossible. Those old grades aren’t some scarlet letter you have to wear forever. New state, new passion, new beginning. Why make it any harder for yourself than it has to be? That said, this is your journey and you need to take the road that feels right to you. Just be sure that you’re not being unecessarily hard on yourself.
I had a whole lot of baggage myself. I went back at 42 and graduated Cum Laude at 45. I enjoyed every minute of it.
Good luck!
I’m chiming in late to say that I was in the same situation when I went back to finish my undergrad degree. My first attempt at college was an utter failure and I dropped out before they could ask me to leave. When I returned, I actually wanted to learn and knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had developed an attention span. My mentoring professor was impressed that I went from being on academic probation to being on the honor roll. My crappy early grades didn’t keep me from getting into law school later, either.
You will be okay.