The other day while we were all eating breakfast Dylan leaned to one side in his chair, grinned, and purposefully ripped a squeaky toddler-sized fart. Not to be outdone, Riley instantly demonstrated his newly-mastered skill of burping on command. Both children dissolved into hysterical laughter while JB beamed with pride.

It’s not like it wasn’t official before, but lately the dynamic in our household has become abundantly clear:



So hey, I fixed the problem of not being home in time for dinner. It isn’t necessarily an ideal solution, but it’s working. It feels good to have gone through the process of identifying something that was important to me and taking the steps to change the situation (duh, right?), and reminds me that goals are nearly always worth whatever effort they take.

Now if I can just get my family to stop off-gassing at the dinner table, but something tells me I’ve signed up for a lifetime sausage party.


25 Responses to “Frat”

  1. lisa on April 13th, 2010 2:54 pm

    im sure its disgustingly cute

  2. Lena on April 13th, 2010 2:55 pm

    Hee hee, my twin toddler GIRLS do the same thing!

  3. HalynB on April 13th, 2010 3:07 pm

    Heh. I feel like I should say more, but that really sums it up. Oh, I’ll add a as well.
    It’s gonna be a loooong rest of your life!

  4. Eric's Mommy on April 13th, 2010 3:28 pm

    My house is full of Dicks too. Even the pets, only one of our many many pets is Female.

    My Husband can’t burp, never has, he just farts, so does Eric. I do the burping.

  5. victoria on April 13th, 2010 3:32 pm

    I’ve been having to set my alarm for painfully early hours, lately, too, also in pursuit of fitness. (“Painfully early” for me meaning 5:30 am.)

    Now I find that if I don’t get to bed by 9 pm, I’m wrecked the following day.

    The 9 pm bedtime kind of puts a crimp on my marriage, my leisure reading, and my relationship with cable television — and I don’t even have kids!

  6. kalisa on April 13th, 2010 3:35 pm

    I live with two boys and I can assure you they do mature – right up to about the age of 12. You may have noticed this in your husband.

  7. Sharon on April 13th, 2010 3:35 pm

    Yes, that’s my life. My boys are 8 and 5. I’ve gotten used to meal time with three males, but going on vacation and staying in the same hotel is getting bad. I think my future vacations include booking my own room.

  8. Becky Mochaface on April 13th, 2010 3:50 pm

    You’re the Queen of the Penises!

  9. Belle on April 13th, 2010 4:13 pm

    Isn’t it wonderful to have these 3 delightful males in your life? (That was sincere not sarcastic!)

    Males are so entertaining – so much more than any female I know. A rip-roaring belch or fart is good for the soul.

  10. SJ on April 13th, 2010 4:34 pm

    My house is full of dicks too. I so totally relate!

    Glad you found a solution to your work / life balance in a way that makes you more satisfied, sorry that traffic is so shitty though that you can’t enjoy it more. It’s a start though!

  11. MM on April 13th, 2010 5:22 pm

    I’m the only chick in our house and I LOVE it. Some days I feel like the scullery maid but there are days that I feel like the queen :) The farts get a bit tiresome at times but then the other day I went and bought my five year old his first whoopee cushion. If you can’t win join in with a fart noise maker. FYI – Whoopee cushions are now self inflating. Who thought of that?

    Can I copy the pie chart?

  12. Ashleas on April 13th, 2010 5:24 pm

    And this is why I am thankful that my parents raised me to roll with the boys. I lack a penis, but I can impress with my burps and farts. While I may not be able to bust out a symphony (like my father), I can hold my own and appreciate when I have been out gassed. I love hanging with guys too much not to! >D

  13. 6512 and growing on April 13th, 2010 8:15 pm

    I’m totally touched by your personal sacrifices to get home in time for dinner with your sausage factory. Really. You are an awesome mom.

  14. angelynn on April 13th, 2010 8:54 pm

    Same here! I have 2 little boys who do the same thing. I’m so glad for you that you’re able to make it home for dinner now. It must change everything about your evening for the better (farts and all). xo

  15. Melissa on April 13th, 2010 10:14 pm

    You’ve seen this, right? It’ll be you in 10 years :)

  16. annie on April 14th, 2010 12:14 am

    Down here in Alabama there’s a bi-annual Sausage Festival. My 4yo girl loves it and goes on and on about “the sausage party” to anyone that will listen. So funny.

  17. Claudia on April 14th, 2010 6:00 am

    If it makes you feel better, our chart is the opposite – 3 girls and 1 boy – and my youngest girl is ALL ABOUT farts. It’s pretty much her #1 topic of conversation followed by “pooping and peeing”. They don’t do a lot of burping at the table but farting? Yeah.

  18. Mel on April 14th, 2010 6:19 am

    I, also, have the same ratio in my house. I’ve instituted the “No farting or burping” at the dinner table rule. It works for the most part, but some days I just can’t win. Just wait until the boys are older and constantly trying to wrestle with JB, it’s good times!

  19. Ris on April 14th, 2010 7:16 am

    A friend of mine who comes from a family heavily dominated by boys described it as a constant “big meat party.” Sounds about like what you have right there.

  20. Stephanie on April 14th, 2010 9:11 am

    Awesome pie chart! Ours is the opposite though, 75% chicks and 25% dicks. The farting thing is the same though.

  21. Jessica V on April 14th, 2010 9:14 am

    I’m in the same boat here with 2 boys – nothing is funnier than butt references. I actually got a “good one, Mom!” with major giggles last night when I made a butt joke to my son and his friend. If you can’t beat ’em, join, right? ;-)

  22. StyckyWycket on April 14th, 2010 9:22 am

    My MIL raised three boys. She opted for the “if you can’t beat ’em” mentality, and laughed right along with them. I think it makes her a lot cooler than my mom, who chastened everyone into the house into denying the existence of farts and belches.

  23. Sara on April 14th, 2010 9:41 am

    My daughter is lovingly referred to as Machine Gun Sadie. The toots…they are never ending with that one. We keep trying to tell her that even though it makes her father and I laugh, most people don’t find that to be a pleasant trait in a little girl. At 3 months old, however, I just don’t think she’s getting it.

  24. Cheryl on April 14th, 2010 2:23 pm

    Wait until they hit you with “what kind of tacos do YOU like mom? HARD ones, or SOFT ones?” Taco nights are friggin HILARIOUS around here.

  25. Colelynnb on April 17th, 2010 10:35 am

    It’s a sausage party in my house too.

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