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Jun
7
I have questions. Hopefully, you have answers. Let’s go.
1) I was a big fan of Bare Minerals makeup for years, until recently when I noticed the powder had started . . . settling, sort of, into my newly-acquired wrinkly areas. Plus, it was making me very shiny, and not in the Firefly use of the word. I switched to Laura Mercier’s “oil free flawless face kit”, and I’m sorry to report the results were neither oil free nor flawless. Worse, the rosacea that I haven’t seen since I stopped drinking over five years ago is creeping back, which, what the fuck? So I need a good makeup recommendation for 30-something, oily, rosacea-prone skin, please. Bonus if it doesn’t cost a trillion dollars.
2) I loved The Hunger Games/Catching Fire and I liked The Forest of Hands and Teeth, so what else should I be reading in the world of dystopian YA fiction?
3) This week I have to give a presentation as part of my final nutrition class project. Here are some things I’d rather do than give a presentation: hammer a rusty nail through my foot. Kiss Spencer Pratt on the mouth. Listen to forty straight hours of Bob Dylan. EAT A LIVE SPIDER. Do you have any public speaking tips that will prevent uncontrolled terrified urination on my part? Like picturing your audience naked, except, you know, something that actually works?
4) Have any of you ever dealt with a kid who won’t accept help when he hurts himself? When Riley scrapes his knee or whatever, he often loses his shit and howls “NOOOO!” over and over, refusing to let us even approach him. It’s like he just goes into a panic. It’s one thing when that happens at home, but if it happens while we’re out—like if he crashes and burns in a store while doing his patented Look Back Over One Shoulder While Running Full Speed Ahead maneuver—I feel at a total loss with no idea how to calm him down or at least bring the Dramatic Public Scene to a close. Usually we just end up totally frustrated with him, which seems like the worst case scenario for everyone. Any ideas for how to help him get past this stage?
5) This last one isn’t really a question, I just wanted to show you the kids’ school photos, which finally came back. Man, pleasantly surprised doesn’t even cover it. I could look at these all day long, cheesy fake fence and all.
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Stuff I Like:
Regina Spektor's "All the Rowboats".
She's almost unrecognizable in this video, but wow, what a song.
Smashbox brow tech.
Utterly foolproof eyebrow groomer/filler-inner.
Prada Amber.
My favorite perfume: sweet and exotic without being overpowering.
Blinc mascara.
I have tried all the mascaras and this is the very best one. Trust.
Good Pix
You might like Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. It’s set in a future where when people reach the age of 17, everyone has plastic surgery to make them “pretty”. One girl decides not to have the surgery and runs away, and her friend Tally has to find her or never become “pretty” herself. Tally uncovers a horrible secret about the surgery.
Thumbs in pockets, so COOL! And Dylan looks like he’s warming up to take flight :) Very worthwhile turnout. Not YA but have you gotten into the “Dragon Tattoo” series? GOOD.
Your boys are freaking adorable.
I too have a crippling fear of public speaking. The only two things that help at all are a) to write down every single word I’m going to say, even if it means practicing over and over and transcribing my silly run-on sentences, and then holding tight to that script during the whole presentation. It’s like a lifeline. And b) reminding myself over and over that most people will probably be only half listening, so I am really just talking to myself and a bunch of glazed-over people pre-occupied with their own stuff.
Good luck! You will kick that presentation’s booty.
re: Nutrition Class
what’s your topic? While I can’t remember my exact topic, I do remember bringing in tasty ’samples’. This kept the focus more on the passing plate than on me.
also, I tend to pick three people in the audience. One in the front left, middle center, and back right. Those are the only people that I will alternately look at when talking. It’s easy talking to just three people.
And read a funny joke before you begin (but silently, to yourself!!); laughter will relax you.
I don’t know about the other things, but as for #4, how about let him do the cleaning of the owie? You can prep and get the bandaid and the cotton ball with peroxide (or whatever) and then play his assistant and let him do it? He might like the independance and control over the situation? Hope that helps:)
I have to give a lot of presentations at work so I like to have some kind of treat planned for after a big presentation. I’ll schedule a pedicure or plan to go see a movie as a reward for getting through the talk (the larger the audience, the bigger the treat). I find it helps to have something to look forward to after you finish.
Dude.You would rather eat a live spider? Damn! This is serious.
Will you have a desk or a podium or anything on which you can put something where you can see it but nobody else can? If so, then why not take copies of those pictures? A little “touchstone” for you to focus on to remind you of what really matters might help. Also? HUGE deep belly breaths before you go “on”. And then there’s always picking a few folks you feel comfortable looking at and make your eye contact with them. OR, you can do the thing where you look at their temple rather than their eyes so you look like your making eye contact but you aren’t so NYAH!
Self-application of pink, sparkly band-aids tend to calm my (almost) 5 year old drama queen down. She’s concentrating so hard on getting off the wrappers, plastic adhesive covers, etc. that she calms right down.
I would like to think that a calm, logical, “Okay, Riley, I’m going to be right here waiting if you need or want a hug or if you want me to check everything out…” but we all know Blah-ha-ha with the logic on a 4 year old!
My 7 year old son doesn’t feel pain so we don’t have a problem with hysteria–mostly just determining if his wrist is broken (hint: yes).
Re: Photos
CONGRATS! Ours this spring were finally good ones!!
Pictures are adorable…guess the bribe worked even if when you paid up you weren’t sure of the outcome. A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E.
No advice for the public speaking, I usually puke first, and then right after. Don’t know if it helps but its not voluntary either.
I am dying to read what other commenters have to say because I have shiny face too and have found nothing that helps! Except putting on more pressed powder and that lasts like 5 minutes.
Also you must REALLY not want to give that presentation because, eating a live spider!! OMG!! I took a speech class in High School and was told to think of my belly button and it would calm me down. It helped for awhile but doesn’t anymore. Maybe because back then I hadn’t had a child and my belly button wasn’t all that bad.
BTW, love the new school photos!
I use Maybelline’s dream matte mouse, it covers everything, and it’s only $7.50. Awesome.
As far as reading: “The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo” series is awesome.
The 3rd hunger games book comes out in August.
Did you read the Percy Jackson books? Just okay, but passes the time.
My little girl does the same thing with the owies, and what works for me, I just tell her to pick up her owie and throw it at someone. She likes this becuase she thinks she is really throwing something at someone, and that I’m okay with it. So she gets to be “bad” and then forgets that she’s hurt. Plus it’s super cute to watch. Then at night, I sneak in with a band-aid and neosporin and apply where needed. In the morning, I tell her the band-aid fairy came. She thinks its great.
You should check out Minerelle. It’s really good for rosacea (or acne) and I find that it keeps my skin fresh for much of the day. I still use a blotting paper at lunchtime because I am quite oily, but this makeup is the best that I have found for minimizing the shine and still being pretty light and non-irritating.
Unfortunately, it does cost a trillion dollars, but it’s worth it and it lasts a long time.
You could try Jane Iredale mineral makeup. It’s not the least expensive makeup, but it does come in two different formulations – one for normal to dry, and one for oilier skin. It also leaves a very slight “glow” on your cheekbones which highlights them and is kind of pretty, plus you can control the coverage. I would recommend going to a salon or spa to buy it rather than the internet, only because they offer several color choices.
Good luck!
I have a dystopian recommendation for you! It’s “Life As We Knew It” by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I just read it last Friday and I COULD NOT put that sucker down. It’s apparently the first in a trilogy (the other two books being The Dead and the Gone and This World We Live In) but I haven’t read those yet.
Riley looks just like you!!! super cute pics!
I’ll spare you my makeup recommendation because it’s Chanel and it does cost a trillion dollars, and I don’t wear it often enough to even KNOW if it will make you shine.
I just finished The Magicians by Lev Grossman, which is an adult Harry Potter sort of thing- not as riveting as the Hunger Games series, but still good.
The boys look awesome!
Graceling and Fire are the books I read in the midst of the ones you mentioned. I think by Kristin Cashore or something. (I’m too lazy to look it up.) Serious kickass female leads in both similar to Katniss. But with a tad more hope than Forest of Hands and Teeth which totally depressed me.
I’ll second what Gertie said about public speaking; talk to specific people in the audience. Beyond that, know your subject matter really well, use cue cards if you need to but try not to read a prepared speech. Most people speak too fast when they read and they also lose most eye contact with their audience. Remember to breathe, wear clothes that don’t show perspiration and have fun!
Books: Read Graceling by Kristin Cashore and if you like that go to the paraquel, Fire. If you liked Hunger Games and you quote Firefly with abandon I predict you will like these.
Make sure you have something to do with your hands and wear shoes that give you a firm base. If I wig out my knees start to REALLY wobble so teetery heels for the pretty factor are not OK. For the hippie woo woo angle, when I was teaching dance we always told the kids to think of their performance as a gift to the people they cared about in the audience so they should just go out there and give their people the best gift they could manage because it was something they wanted. Remember that those people don’t want you to fail. You know how bad it is to watch someone dissolve in public. They want you to do well, they’re rooting for you, so give them what they want.
And my comment just started to smell a lot like patchouli, time to quit.
Re: Books. Yes! I read the same ones and loved them both and keep trying (fruitlessly) to find ones just as good! And lo, nothing. So I will be checking back here for recs. I even tried to read the Vampire Academy books and even though some people LOVE them, I thought my eyes would actually fall out of my head from the rollage. Also: Percy Jackson: eh.
Re: Makeup. I was the same way with Bare Escentuals and I also hated that as soon as my face touched something, there would be makeup all over it. So I tried Revlon’s Liquid Color Stay foundation for oily skin and LOVE it. Great coverage, no streaks of falling into wrinkles, and it doesn’t wipe off all over shit. Also, under 15$. I also still use the “mineral” powder from BE on to for a “finish”.
Re: photos. Love the fake fence.
Teint Idole from Lancome…I have oily skin and this stuff lasts all day – even through my sweaty gym sessions at lunch.
http://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/foundations/teint-idole-ultra.htm
As for the public speaking…deep breaths and try to make them laugh at the beginning…and know that 99% of the population hates it just as much as you so everyone will be nervous.
I agree with another commenter,Uglies by Scott Westerfield. The sequels were not as good.
I use Origins Matte Scientist lotion (I think they recently renamed it to Zero Oil). I have NEVER EVER had un-shiny skin in my 36 years and until I switched to this. The best part is you can go to Origins, get a facial for free, and try it out before you spend the bucks.
I can only speak to #2, so here are a few suggestions:
Unwind, by Neal Shusterman
Candor, by Pam Bachorz
The Giver, by Lois Lowry (not recent, but a classic)
These aren’t dystopian, but still very good recent YA reads:
Burned, by Ellen Hopkins
Wintergirls, by Laurie Halse Anderson
Graceling, by Kristin Cashore
Those pics are CUUUUTE. Re: public speaking, I also hate hate hate it. My only advice is to practice the presentation over and over and over again, kind of like a muscle memory thing, and you’ll have something to fall back on once you’re not doing it in front of you living room wall/bedroom mirror/husband and kids who love you. Good luck!
Re public speaking – I do a lot of presentations. There are no shortcuts, no cute tips, etc. What it boils down to is do you know your material SOLID? Also, do you know more than the people listening to you?
Anticipate questions – have answers stashed on a card in your hand. Practice what you will say when you DON’T know the answer. Determine whether you’re more comfortable taking questions at the end (thus not interrupting the zen-like flow of information from your lips) or if you prefer to be stopped when questions arise (giving you chances to insert more natural-feeling conversation into a planned piece).
Most of all – Practice, practice, practice. Don’t listen to 40 hrs of Bob Dylan, practice your talk OUT LOUD for 40 hrs. Not whispering, but projecting, like the real thing. Record yourself speaking (video is esp humiliating but will show you exactly where you need help). Practice not swaying. Go over every sentence you intend to say a million times. By the time you’re actually on, you’ll be slick and confident.
Cute pictures! Dylan’s dimple is so cute!
I really like Everyday Minerals. You can go to their website and request a free sample to see if it works for the shininess.
Presentation tip? Practice, practice, practice until you know your material front and back. I hate public speaking and I rehearsed every chance I got for my presentation (in the shower, in the car, in front of my husband and dog, etc.) until everything was second nature.
Makeup: Try the Almay Smart Shade Anti-Aging foundation. It gives light coverage that doesn’t make me look overdone, doesn’t settle into my wrinkles, and it matches with your skin tone, so you never have that line when you don’t buy quite the right shade.
Hurting Himself: My 3-year-old Gracie does exactly the same thing. If I come anywhere near her whenever she hurts herself, she just starts screaming “I’M ALRIGHT! GO AWAY!” with tears streaming down her face. It’s fine when we’re home, but I’ve been trying to explain to her that she really can’t do that when we’re in public. If you figure something out, let me know…
Concentrate on speaking really sloooowly. Really focus on that. And be super-prepared, but don’t have it memorized.
I use Clinique, but I want to try La Roche Posay — not a trillion dollars, but it is expensive.
WOW. You won the school-picture lottery this year!
I have to go against the grain here with regards to your presentation. Don’t overthink it, and don’t overprepare. That will just psyche you out. Know your stuff, sure. But the morning of your presentation, just try to distract and stay engaged in fun, relaxing and/or engaging activities. Listen to music. Read. Surf the web. Download new recipes. You got this. Also, if you feel a surge of nerves hit you in the beginning, just know that feeling will pass and you’ll find yourself slowly relaxing and loosening up. It happens to everyone, that rush of nerves. You got this.
Ok, query #1…..I am so excited to have an answer for this. I recently was having the same thing. Was using Bare Minerals after 2 years of struggling with bizarre adult onset rosacea and going through tons of products. My friend was coming to visit a few weeks ago, and I just didn’t want to feel haggy. Here’s what I did, and it made a huge difference.
Gently exfoliated with a buff puff which I haven’t used in years. Applied liberal amount of Burt’s Bees paraben-free Day Creme (at first I do get some redness but it calms in about 10 minutes…and my skin is EXTREMELY sensitive). Apply Maybelline Dream Liquid Mousse w/Airbrush Finish. I use a latex sponge. My skin tone was really crappy and I think we are the same age, so you know what I’m talking about…you only need the the tiniest drop of this stuff. If it seems like it’s settling into creases just buff it really gently. I hate feeling or looking like I am wearing foundation-it is so incredibly light, you don’t feel like you are wearing make up at all. It is not drying OR oily. I am in LOVE with this stuff and after three weeks of doing this routine it still looks good. It was a really big improvement over my previous regimen. I hope whatever you decide to try, that it gives you as big of a pick-me-up as it did for me. I was really feeling down about my age and appearance. Switching things up really helped.
#2–I got nothin’ but I am going to scour the comments and hope for some good recommendations.
#3–All I can say here is to know your subject like the back of your hand so that you are free to just be yourself and have things come out naturally. Don’t try to over-memorize or anything- just set aside the time you need to feel really comfortable with the material. Some self deprecating humor at the right times could help too :) If you get it off your chest from the start that you are nervous or not an experienced public speaker maybe you will feel better to move on from there. :) I think about 95% of the population can relate! Hope that helps!!
#4 Again, don’t know about this one….lately I’ve been trying to just almost ignore falls that seem non life threatening when my two-year-old started saying to himself “You ok??” after falling…but it sounds like you are already low-key and it is him doing the panicking…so, I don’t know. Good luck!
#5 I LOVE the pics. They look like they are about to go fetch some water from the well. I love it!
#1: I have no make-up suggestions because I don’t wear any.
#3: Like a few others have mentioned, you’d rather eat a live spider than give a presentation? OMG, your nuts lady. I always get myself so worked up right before, not on purpose mind you, and once I start speaking…I calm down. Then after the fact I’m so embarrassed by how nervous I was beforehand that I feel silly. I have no suggestions for you really other than just relax, and breathe! You’ll do fine, I’m sure of it.
#4: My younger son, when he hurts himself he gets so anxious and freaked out (BLOOOOD!) that he forgets to breathe. We had an incident like this just yesterday and he scared the shit out of me. But anyways, I really don’t have any suggestions on how to help other than maybe try (I know this sounds horrible) to ignore the ordeal all together? Unless he’s seriously hurt mind you. I find that when I don’t make a big to do about my son hurting himself, that he’s a lot less worried in the end. Hopefully that made sense…
#5: Those photos are great! Without a doubt because your kids are absolutely adorable!
The only one I can comment on is the public speaking thing, which makes my hands sweat just thinking about it. So I have always sucked at it… shaky hands, red face, trip walking up to the podium, etc. Until someone wisely told me to turn it into a competition. (I would guess from your running, you’re competitive, at least a little?) Just think of it as a race and that your goal is to out-speak the rest of the suckers in your class. Honestly, focusing solely on doing better than everyone else – who are all nervous too, btw – is the only thing that gets me through public speaking!
2) Another agreement with the folks who like Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies series. Also, a book called Feed by M.T. Anderson was dystopian enough to scare the bejesus out of me. If you need motivation to move to that rural setting you mentioned, this is the book to do it.
5) That fence is utterly ridiculous.
Riley really earned that transformer ;)
For public speaking to repeat to self as much as needed:
So what if (insert fear here) happens, I can handle it.
And be super prepared – know more about your topic than what you are presenting.
It probably won’t help with the settling issue, but Bare Minerals does now make a Matte version of their foundation, which I switched over to. It really helped me with The Dreaded Shine. I don’t know what kind of moisturizer you use, but that might also be contributing to the shine factor/returning rosacea/settling.
I, too, hate public speaking, which makes it even more odd that I ended up working as a corporate trainer for years. The tips I have are: practice your speech to death, know your subject flawlessly, and have a prepared way to say something besides “I don’t know” when you don’t know the answer. I always went with “I don’t have that information now, but I can certainly find out and get back to you”. I was always the most nervous when I was not fully prepared, and that is also when I would trip myself up. Notes are good to have, but don’t write overly elaborate ones or you’ll find yourself going “uh..uh…” as you search your crowded note card for a piece of information or your next cue. Visual aids (such as Powerpoints) are a good tool to get the audience to focus on something other than your beet red face, and it helps you to think that they’re not all the time staring directly at you. Finally, wear something you feel super awesome in, because every little bit of armor helps.
I am a recent convert to Arbonne and love everything about it, especially the fact that it is botanical. I’m older than you and constantly get compliments when I wear this make-up.
I used to be TERRIFIED of public speaking and all the good advice in the world doesn’t really help – the only thing that helps is to keep doing it. Eventually you get quite a bit less terrified. I still ALWAYS have to blow my nose when I am speaking.
SUPER attractive.
No weeping with turtles? VICTORY IN OUR TIME!
Pictures are adorable, no rec’s on shiny as I am a walking oil slick no matter what the temp, but I also had a NO LOOK! OWIE! child. It got to the point where she would slap away doctors/dentists’ hands if she thought they were going to hurt her or touch an owie. The only thing that worked (until I could adequately reason with her) was to force her to let us look at/bandage scrapes. Usually that meant that one of us held her down and the other one worked fast. Definitely not the best thing to do, but when confronted with bloody knees/fingers/etc. is was our only option.
I have no answers but MAN, do you guys make cute kids.
Oh! Public Speaking! The two things that irritate me most when watching people speak is watching them shuffle their feet and umm and ahh.
Plant your feet. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, DO NOT MOVE THEM (unless it is for a specific reason ie: to go back to your seat).
Also, when you feel an ummm or an ahhh coming on, just pause; don’t say anything at all. A brief moment of silence to collect your thoughts is definitely better than an ummm. And, I promise it’s not as long as you think it is.
Good Luck!
1. Write down every word of your presentation. Read it at least 5 times a day prior to the day you have do it. You will have it memorized, so you will look very natural and calm when you do it.
2. In the margins, write in a different color ink things like “calm down” “slow down” “breathe”. Seeing them is surprisingly helpful. Since they are in a different color ink, you don’t have to worry about accidentally reading them aloud! :)
I happened to mention to my doctor one day when there for something else that I was terrified of a public speech coming up. She said she never does public speaking without the help of Propranolol…one tablet 40mins before et voila, no shaking hands, sweaty pits etc. Miracle drug. Though she did caution that as it is a beta blocker, it can cause unwanted fainting, which would not be so cool. So best to practise on a day when you don’t need to go anywhere first.
For makeup, I’d recommend Jane Iredale mineral pressed powder. You can find it at Pharmica stores (Wallingford, Madison Park, West Seattle). I use it along with Lorac tinted moisturizer as a base. Neither are too cheap, but they last for a long time.
It’ll rock your world.
I can’t help with the others but in re: # 3, (please don’t hate me) practice, practice, practice. I normally don’t have a problem with public speaking but I also prepare like a maniac. This week I had to give a presentation in class and I was not well prepared for it and my heart pounded and my voice shook and I was terrible.
If you practice that damn presentation until there is no way you will forget the words or the order or ANY of it, I can almost guarantee that you will do great. Also, don’t look at the audience. Scan the back row of the class, just above the student’s heads. This way it looks like you are looking at people but you don’t actually have to make the dreaded eye contact.
Also, you’ll do great. I”m sure of it.
Re: public speaking. PRACTICE. Over and over and over and over. In your head at first, and then OUT LOUD. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice in front of JB. There’s no way you’re not going to be nervous when you get up there to present, but if you’ve practiced, you’ll just go through it on auto-pilot.
Also, sometimes when I’m really nervous about a presentation, I’ll write out everything I want to say first (tedious even for a 12-minute talk), and then slowly wean myself off of my notes. You absolutely want to be practicing WITHOUT YOUR NOTES before you give the presentation, but it can help with flow in the beginning.
Good luck!
Public speaking: I have given umpteen bazillion presentations/talks/etc. now and the two best things that I can recommend are 1) practice, practice, practice and then practice some more just to be sure and 2) for your cards (or PowerPoint slide notes) create “touchpoints” within your talk that act as cues to remind you where you are.
I find that if I write a script and then stick to it all sweaty-palmed, I get mired in word order. If I practice TONS then I commit it to memory and the touchpoints emerge during practice. It’s all about structuring the presentation so that you can remind yourself where you are at key points and having the rest of the filler concepts fresh on the to of your head.
You can do it!
Can’t help you on 1, although would love to know the answer, same goes for 2, 4, no clue my girls hurt themselves just to get attention, I think, on 3 though, I may have some advice. I present a lot for work and I make sure I know my material well, but NOT memorized and get up there and just explain things to people as if I was talking to a friend. Putting it into my own words and describing what I know seems to work much better than trying to memorize a bunch of things. Don’t know if that helps, but Good Luck! By the way, adorable kids!
Could part of the makeup issues be because of your makeup brushes? I don’t change mine nearly as often as you’re supposed to, but then when I do it’s like my makeup instantly works again. I am guessing bacteria-laden or gunky brushes would make for less even or complete coverage (hence the shine) and could probably worsen rosacea.
Public Speaking Story… gave a 5 minute speech on Ted Bundy in college for public speaking class *am facinated by Serial Killers for some unknown reason*. I KILLED the talk (har har)! Was so impressed with myself. When I finished, I stood at the podium awaiting my immediate and public critique. I knew I had done well because my prof had cocked his head and had a slight smile on his face throughout my presentation. My prof cleared his throat and said that while he was QUITE impressed with my speaking ablilty and the extent of my knowlege on the subject, he was even more impressed by my fondness for podiums. I stood there pleased, but slightly confused. The class snickered and I reddened. I didn’t get it. The teacher went on to explain that, while it is very common for people to absentmindedly wring their hands, touch their hair, or clear their throats when speaking in front of a group, I had shown him a first! Apparently, I had unconsiously swung a leg out and around the podium during my speech, and RUBBED my leg up and down the side of it the ENTIRE time I was talking. LOL… yeeeah. (I did get an A though, at least!)
So just make sure you practice, practice, PRACTICE your presentation out loud until you know it inside and out and be AWARE of yourself while you’re speaking. And, most importantly… don’t hump the podium.
GOOD LUCK!
I use Clinque and it seems to do the trick Superfit I think it is. I like it because it is not very expensive and does the trick. I do like the Jane Iredale stuff and have used the face wash but man the places I can get in our town is one hair salon and it is pricey! Go to Sephora and see if they have any good recommendations. And I have heard great things about Origins.
Otherwise, I am no help in the other areas. Just contemplating public speaking makes me feel yucky inside!
Thumbs in his pockets! So cute!
I’ve been using Cosmedicine Medi Matte (which I got at TJ Maxx for $13!) and it works pretty well on my oily/giant-pored skin. http://www.amazon.com/Cosmedicine-Medi-Matte-Tint-Shade-Light/dp/B001HC76CU
I dab my mineral makeup on top, just on my forehead and nose where I get really shiny, and it doesn’t sink into my forehead crease. It helps me stay shine-free well into the afternoon.
Yay, being in my 30s! Oily skin plus wrinkle bonus! Woohoo!
My God, Linda. Your kids are so cute they make my ovaries hurt.
Re the public speaking thing. Just think of when you’re sharing something at a work meeting – and understand that your sense of really.big.presentation. is at a much, much higher level that is expected in a community college class.
And practice. Practice in front of your kids, your husband, people in the Starbucks line. Practice until you start thinking who the HECK is interested in this stuff?! Practice until you can mumble it in your sleep [just don't skip the sleep] Good Luck!
Try Rampant, by Diana Peterfreund. Not quite as good as the Hunger Games, though. (I didn’t like Catching Fire nearly as much as HG.) But it’s such a cool idea. I mean, come on! Man-eating unicorns?! How can you lose?
I have not read all of the comments but I have read some. I have advice for the public speaking thing.
1. Others have said this but the best advice is to know your material. And practice. You can quit reading now. The rest is fluff.
2. Some have said to write everything down and if this helps to get your thoughts organized then do it but for all that is holy DO NOT READ FROM A PAPER. Sometimes I write everything down and then from that ‘report’ I will prepare slides that pick out the high points I am going to cover. More often I create an outline of what needs to be covered.
3. Then prepare your slides. These should just be memory prompts and probably not whole sentences. Then just talk to the slides. Again, though, DO NOT JUST READ THE SLIDES. Presumably your audience can read so you don’t need to read to them.
4. Hold something in your had. For some reason this helps me. Lots of times people don’t know what to do with their hands. Hold a pen or a pointer in your hand and then your hands are occupied.
5. The idea of picking out friendly faces & talking to them is a good one. If you see people smiling and/or nodding this is a good thing (hopefully not too many people nodding off though).
This is now a novel and I wish you good luck in giving your talk. Remember that everyone is in the same boat as you and try to have fun.
My skin is 31 years old, marginally oily and I use Benefit Play Sticks. I put just a little bit on with a MAC foundation brush and I love it a lot.
I heard a radio personality talking about public speaking and she said something that resonated for me: that the audience WANTS to love you. I don’t know — it gave me just a subtle but powerful perception shift, wherein the audience is more of an open, friendly sort, instead of a teeming, rabid mass of people waiting to devour my soul.
For the presentation…these are things I’ve learned to help manage my nerves.
- Remember that everyone else is nervous, too. Really. When you get up there, take a moment and smile while you take a nice long breath. Think of the pictures of your boys, whatever it takes to muster up a warm smile (you will feel better, honest). Stand up straight, relax your shoulders, and relax your hands instead of clenching your fists. Be kind & supportive of the other people presenting, too.
- You know those jitters right before it’s your turn, when the person before is wrapping up? They suck. So, volunteer to go first. Get it out of the way so you don’t spend the whole class in anticipation. The anticipation is worse than the actual event. Also, going first means people won’t be antsy and desperately checking the time. If you can’t do that, take 5 deep belly breaths while the person before you is speaking.
- Practice. All the way through. You don’t need to memorize all the exact words. Practice making sure you hit the points you want to cover. Write the main points down on a small card to take with you so that if you suddenly feel like a deer in headlights, you have something to jog your memory. If there is a podium or table, put the notes down instead of grasping them in your shaky, sweaty hands.
- Reframe your thoughts. Instead of dreading it, think about it as an opportunity to shine, to conquer the self-doubt. Maybe you can be a positive presence in a room of nervous people.
- Loosen up your voice. Sing on the way to school, loudly, to a song or two that you like. Gets the shakiness out. Works well for job interviews, too. If you have a long enough drive, you can practice your speech in the car afterwards.
Good luck!
Those are the most beautiful children. The pictures are just great.
My hint on public speaking is the same….practice, practice, practice!!
Good luck.
Think about how much you listen/care when others present? Not much, probably. You will do fine and when it’s over, you will feel awesome!
Make up, I just starts using mary kay powder foundation and like it. But I think it’s the mineral stuff too…
Aw. I love those school pictures. They are the perfect school pics.
I use pur minerals. It’s a lot lighter, I think than bare minerals.
These books haven’t been published yet, but sneaky teacher got advanced copies!
Matched by Ally Condie
Halo by Alexandra Adornetto (this is a trilogy)
If you loved the Hunger Games, you will LOVE Matched. Look it up on Amazon, and count the days until release!
I can’t help with the makeup because I never wear a foundation, never have, and I think that’s one of the reasons I have smooth soft skin, wrinkle-free, as I stare 68 in the eye.
I also can’t help with the kids who can’t seem to learn that you have to WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING! If I had a dollar for every time I snapped that at one of my three…
I can help with books, though. I just finished “House Rules” by Jodi Picoult, she is amazing and although not YA, I recommend anything she’s written other than possibly “The Tenth Circle” which I didn’t like. I also read a fantastic book by John Hart, “The Last Child” – it’s sort of Huck Finn in modern times with murder and mayhem thrown in and it’s incredible, so much so that I ordered his two previous books from Amazon. I also recently enjoyed a vampire book by Linda Howard (can’t recall the name, it’s on the supermarket shelves and has an orange cover) and you really can’t go wrong with Nora Roberts – nothing deep, but thoroughly enjoyable and easy reads, which is good when you have someone interrupting you every three seconds. And my all time favorite is Jennifer Crusie – my favorites of hers are probably “Welcome to Temptation” and “Fast Women”. They are romance/mystery and hysterically funny. I can’t let myself read them in public any more, because of embarrassing myself with uncontrollable giggling.
Sorry I don’t wear make-up so I don’t have any recommendations on that one.
I don’t read much, but I do love the Stephanie Plum series.
The Spencer Pratt comment made me gag, but try practicing in front of friends, or JB, or coworkers.
My 4 1/2 year old does the same thing and I let him cry and he eventually lets me comfort him. He does love ice packs and band aids so I usually give him those, oh and a popsicle.
And gosh you’re kids are almost as cute as mine. :-) If you ever come to Maine please let me know so we can meet, I feel as if we’re just alike.
Make-up: I never used Bare Minerals because I had heard that it did just the things you described. I use Too Faced Magic Wand Illuminating Make-up and brush on Make Up 4 Ever’s HD Micro Finish Powder. I am 44 years old today and have some fine line around my eyes and am normal to oily. I love this combo of makeup, I keep a powder brush in my purse and use is midday, if needed.
Books: Chronicles of Imaginarium Geographica series by James Owens.
Public Speaking: No advice, I hate it
Great looking kids, love the thumbs in the pockets and Dylan looks like he is ready to take flight!
Dysotopian YA book recs from a middle school reading teacher: The Uglies series, City of Ember series, the Host, and Life as We Knew It.
Also, I teach my kids, that when they are giving a presentation to pick 3 spots on the back wall to look at during the presentation. The audience thinks you’re making eye contact with them and you really aren’t. You could be at home, practicing to the wall, and wouldn’t know the difference. It works. Whenever I teach this lesson, I ask them to guess when they think I’m looking at people, and 99% of the time, I’m looking at the wall when they guess I’m looking at Student A.
Did you know that Bare Minerals has a matte makeup now? The matte makes a HUGE difference!
Superfit by Clinique – petal. I have combo skin with a pink undertone.
I’m going to suggest the Libba Bray books (A Great and Terrible Beauty, et al)that I just decided I didn’t like, because they came highly recommended by someone who likes that sort of thing. I just found that I didn’t care for YA fiction so much unless it had vampires. In that vein, I’m one of those who LOVED the Vampire Academy series (I just devoured the latest one of 500+ pages in one evening).
For kids, I’ve found that my son doesn’t really care for babying but when he hurts himself I don’t freak out and ask if he’s okay (which he usually says yes to even if he’s crying) and I ask him if he wants me to kiss it or if he wants to kiss it. It especially helps if he hurts himself in the car, and the hysteria usually wears off while he’s trying to figure out how to kiss his elbow.
I have to do presentations/ interviews for my job as a consultant and the best tip I ever got is to stand in front of a mirror once you are dressed and ready to go and give yourself a pep talk – along the lines of you have worked hard, you know your shit, you are good at what you do and no matter how this goes down, you did your best. Does the trick for me.
Because I did my degree in performance violin, I get most of my information from that…this wasn’t advice, but it always helped me to remember that it was just my perception of a crowd. To each of the people out there, it was just one person they were sitting watching, like a one on one situation.
The school photos turned out great!
A quick tip about the make-up situation: Consider WHY your skin is reacting the way it is. Without knowing your skin type, other than it’s getting oily and your rosacea is returning, I suggest exfoliating 2x a week (no more!) with a chemical exfoliant (something with salicylic or lactic acid in it). This will help rid the fine lines and ease up on oil production. Also, moisturize with an oil-free moisturizer/SPF in the morning and save the heavy cream for night time. Everyone needs to moisturize, so don’t skip it. :)
I think you’d appreciate the effects of a lactic-kojic chemical peel, btw. Call around and see if any of the esthetics schools in your area offer them (they’re cheaper at schools). You can try it once or get a series (6) and they’re great for exfoliating, hydrating, & hyper pigmentation. As you know, rosacea can be stimulated with aggressive treatments, so a chemical peel would do wonders for your skin. Just be forewarned that you will probably need to be on a good home care regimen first; Image’s Ageless trial kit is what I recommend to clients, but talk to your esthetician and see what he/she recommends. :) Good luck!
Side note: I’m not spewing tips from “Seventeen,” I’m currently earning my master esthetics license and I’m loving it! I’m headed back to Seattle when I graduate– can’t wait! :)
#3 – Practice practice practice. In front of a mirror, while you drive or run, while you shower. Practice every chance you get. I practiced my maid of honor speech so much for my sister’s wedding that I managed to not cry. And I am most definitely a cryer.
Yay for makeup and books!
But really, I just gotta know .. what IS IT with that two-year-old, trying-to-fly stance? Tony does it ALL THE TIME, even to the point that he’ll exlaim, “I RUNNIN’, MOMMA!” while doing it, and I’m all STOP OR YOUR GOING TO GET A HUNCH IN YOUR BACK.
I LOVE la la LOVE this stuff – it stays on forever, is NOT oily and it has SPF 30 built in http://www.amazon.com/Korres-Watermelon-Lightweight-Tinted-Moisturiser/dp/B0018BD0IE
I’ve never been one to spend lots on make-up, and I am in my early 20’s so I may not have the same type of skin as you but as far as I can tell you have great skin! I love good ol’ Covergirl. I use their Trueblend Whip Foundation. It goes on smooth, and it doesn’t feel oily at all. I have rosacea prone skin as well, especially around and on my nose, and this covers it completely. It stays on all day too which is great. Plus it’s no more than $15 bucks and lasts quite a long time!
As for your public speaking fears, I have emcee’d a few weddings and I always make sure I keep my breathing steady while I talk. Focus on what you want to say and just keep telling yourself its just like talking with friends about that certain topic. Once you start, I’m sure you’ll get in the groove and the nerves will lessen!
Cute pics of the little guys!
To Question 1 I also love Bare Minerals. Have you tried their matte finish foundation or using the Mineral Veil stuff to get rid of the shiny finish? That’s what I do, hope it helps. I also have sensitive skin and unfortunately only bare minerals has worked for me.
Re: public speaking. Your heart will race and you will hyperventilate. That’s ok. Just keep remembering to breathe between each sentence. IT IS OK to pause to catch your breath. Also, like anything (e.g.,running long distances!) public speaking gets easier the more you do it, so maybe you could think of this as a different kind of “training”?
P.S. I teach college courses as an adjunct professor, and one night I taught a class of 50+ undergraduates with my fly down–and survived. After that little incident? Pretty much nothing phases me anymore while I’m lecturing(although if I have to fart, I do try to do it discreetly!)
Good luck!
I am on a YA dystopian TEAR inspired by Hunger Games.
–I liked Graceling and its sequels very much
–I I did not like Maze Runner
–I am loving the Libba Bray (Great and Terrible Beauty) series; though it’s not dystopian, Gothic boarding school novels are another secret love)
–The Balefire series by Cate Tiernan, about twin witches in New Orleans, rocked (Twins! Blood witches! New Orleans!)
–I highly recommend the Parable series by Octavia Butler for your dystopian YA needs.
–The New Yorker has an article about dystopian YA novels this week, so this is all quite timely: http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2010/06/14/100614crat_atlarge_miller
I’m terrified of public speaking too & have found that having lots of visual aids (as someone else has suggested here) really does help enormously. Use them to break up the focus on you speaking (choose some funny ones too if you can, I dunno like a Far Side or something more current relevant to your topic) & as a moment to remind yourself to breathe while they’re up. Seriously helps.
Those pictures are adorbs, really. I don’t know about the public speaking, as I don’t have a problem with it, BUT I will say this – it’s not as bad as eating a live spider! Or kissing Spencer Pratt! Remember to take deep breaths and that you can do it. Because you can, totally. Practice as much as you can and practice with taking deep breaths.
I think (but don’t know) that Riley is at an age where you can really talk to him, maybe before you go out to a store, or to a playground, or whatever, and maybe tell him that when he needs help, he should say HELP and when he’s okay, he should say I’M OKAY! You could tell him that you understand that when he’s upset, he might not want you all up in his grill, but you do have to know that he’s okay. Maybe? I am not well versed in the ways of typical almost five year olds, so I could be totally wrong.
The first time I had to give a presentation, I genuinely thought I was going to keel over and die. Now I am a total attention whore…go figger.
It’s so much easier to give them to prospective clients because you are the expert. It is a little more difficult to give a presentation to colleagues who know as much as you do.
First thing to remember is that the people you will be giving the presentation to are your classmates (I assume). They do not want you to fail so they are not picking your performance apart. They are not looking at you, they are listening to what you have to say.Just remember they are on your side and not judging you, your haircut, that brand new pimple on your chin, cameltoe..or the toilet paper hanging out the back of your pants.
More importantly, most of them aren’t listening to a damn word you are saying because they are too busy thinking about their own presentation…pimple, haircut and cameltoe.
OMG Is it possible to have cuter children?! I mean, you know, when they’re not puking and screaming and pooping.
#2 Tomorrow When the War Began, by John Marsden – the first of a series of seven books that I just INHALED. Lots of books are described as un-put-downable – these really are. After I finished the first one I went out and bought the next six right away.
Public speaking tips from someone that hates public speaking and has to do it periodically: Try to do a powerpoint presentation if at all possible. It helps a lot if everyone is looking at the screen and it’s dark. If you can’t do that, have a desk or podium between you and the audience. For some reason it helps to lean on something a little. Write most of the speech out in short phrases. That way you will only have to fill in the little words (which is easy) and it sounds more natural. Hopefully, everyone else has to present too, that way it’s certain that some people will be better and worse than you. Also, try to focus on the fact that you are sharing information with people. It’s not about you, it’s about the job of teaching people and communicating ideas.
I saw these suggested already, but thought I would put my opinion of the best dystopian books after The Hunger Games. Personally, I think that series is the best of what I’m going to mention, but you might check out Life As We Knew It or The Giver. Also, the Uglies book is dystopian, but a little more on the dry side compared to Hunger Games.
Public Speaking–I always make sure that I have practiced what I am going to say over and over, so that when I do get nervous, I will probably forget things and do things not as well as I practiced, but it will be better than if I hadn’t practiced (you kind of survive on what you practiced). Also, instead of pretending that everyone is naked, I pretend that I am the best that they have ever seen. I don’t actually think that, but I just pretend it to give myself confidence. That’s how I got through music solos in JH and HS, too.
If you are using PowerPint: do NOT go up and give your presentation from a script. Reading from a script will be harder. You will forget to look out at the audience OR you will look up at the audience and then panic when you look back down and can’t find your place. If you’re using PowerPoint (and I hope you are) you just need to practice practice practice what you are going to say. Give your presentation to yourself in a mirror over and over again. Use the slides as your cues and remember: if you mess up and forget to mention someting? NO ONE ELSE KNOWS. Move on to the next slide. Good luck, you’ll be great!
Wow – there are a lot of comments to go through.
I highly agree with the recommendations for Graceling & Fire. I loved both of them, and also read them about the same time as Hunger Games. I also really enjoyed Life as We Knew it that someone else already recommended. That and the follow up Dead and the Gone (I haven’t read the third yet) fit very well with the dystopian theme.
I also enjoyed Incarceron by Catherine Fisher, but it’s a very different kind of book.
Someone also recommended the Host (Stephanie Meyer) and that was one of my favorite books last year. Really enjoyed it.
I’m thrilled you asked this question as I now have a whole lot more books on my to be read list :).
Books:
I second “Life As We Knew It”, the Uglies series, and I’ll also add World War Z (which isn’t YA, but still so great it scared the absolute shit out of me) and also Stephen Boyett’s novels: the first was “Ariel” which he wrote in the late 80’s, and just recently he wrote a sequel called “Elegy Beach”. They were great and I just happened to stumble upon them.
You must check out DHC products. They are a Japanese based skincare company and their products are AMAZING. They tailor each product to your skin’s needs and have things for rosacea-prone skin. Their makeup is reasonably priced too.
http://www.dhccare.com/DHC/CategoryIndexPages/makeup.aspx?Kwrd=Makeup&OrgID=1&gclid=CNWSo7aAj6ICFSI55QodfDrOZA
As for the other questions: I agree with the recommendations for The Uglies series.
Can’t help with public speaking, as I suck at it, but looks like you already got a lot of good advice.
Boo boo meltdowns…good advice already given. And do you have one of those “boo boo bears/bunnies/character of choice” thingies? That might help too.
And those boys? Beyond photogenic!
Oh, and anyone who read and loved Harry Potter should read The Magicians (but not to their children.)
2. Have you read How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff?
5. Awesome!
I have responses to one and three:
(1) Rosacea.
If you can afford it, the PHotofacial will correct this problem. (They’re $500 each and you need three to five. I had 5 and enjoy an alabaster complexion now.)
In addition to being pricey, the photofacial is also painful.
So you can also try the world’s BEST answer to ruddiness: Smashbox primer in green.
Yes, at first it looks like you’re smearing guacomole on your face, but the green magically disappears and take the red along with it.
I find I don’t need any other makeup when I use this product.
(3) Public speaking.
What works for me is this visualization exercise I learned from a Buddhist writer:
You visualize your pain (in this case, fear of public speaking) as a helpless baby crying out for your attention. You imagine that you’re cradling it and tending to it. What works best for me is to imagine that my breathing is creating a warm blanket that’s cradling the baby. (Actually I prefer to visualize a puppy, but you know, whatever works for you.)
This exercise allows you to have compassion for yourself, actually honor the feeling and feel it, but somehow magically detach from it at the same time.
When you do this, you find you can release the pain.
I know, it sounds weird, but it works.
Also benzodiazepenes are great, espcially if you take them only very rarely. I would ask my dr. for Klonopin if I were in your shoes. It’s longer acting than xanax.
But I wouldn’t take it the day of the big event unless I had test driven it in private beforehand. Some people don’t tolerate benzodiazepenes very well.
Good luck.
Also your kids are freaking GORGEOUS. -V.
Susan Beth Pfeffer’s Moon Crash trilogy including: Life as We Knew It, the dead and the gone, and This World We Live In are all brilliant and I think you’d love them. Oh, and have you read The Dead-Tossed Waves? It’s the follow-up to The Forest of Hands and Teeth. And, OMG, those photos of the boys turned out fantastic!
Public speaking-I think Amber might have been the first to say this, but I will repeat-the audience really wants you to do well. They are rooting for you, and keeping that in mind has always helped me out. Also, if you do make a mistake, take a deep breath, smile, and keep on going.
I loved the Percy Jackson books, but I am a total Greek Mythology Geek. Can’t get enough of it, and I loved Percy as a protagonist. Have you read “In A Perfect World” by Laura Kasischke? Not YA, but really good-and I dare you not to make a huge Costco run when you finish the book.
I don’t know anything about make up or public speaking or YA novels, but I know some damn cute boys when I see ‘em. Yay for good school pix.
Makeup – I’m another vote for Arbonne. Here’s what you need to look for on their website – the makeup-primer. it mattes your skin and makes your foundation go on like butter. it’s only $36 and lasts for 3-4 months. TOP shelf stuff. seriously.
as for the presentations, I agree with June… for me anyway there are no helpful, cute, shortcuts. Public speaking pains me THAT much. What i’ve found is that knowing your material simply isn’t enough. You’ve gotta practice OUT LOUD (not the whispering voice you use when you talk to yourself in the car either). I’m talkin’ full on conversation tones that you use with your friends/family. It’s so freaky when you do it, it’s weird, awkward. But I think that’s what makes it so crucial. There’s something about listening to your own speech patterns, your inflections, your enthusiastic pitch, your serious tones (at regular volume)… it engrains the material better for some reason. Once you’ve practiced out loud (at least 10 good full run throughs), you’ll nail it. Good luck! :)
Hi. I see several people have already recommended this series, but I’d just like to say that I think you would definitely like the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld.
I also liked Un Lun Dun by China Mievelle, and anything by Nancy Farmer.
One more, a series where the first book is called, “Wake”. I can’t remember the author, and am too lazy to look it up. I think the second book in the series was called, “Fade”.
I could go on and on. I teach 7th grade Lit. and Sci Fi is my favorite.
Hi. I see several people have already recommended this series, but I’d just like to say that I think you would definitely like the “Uglies” series by Scott Westerfeld. The “Midnighters” series, also by Westerfeld is also very good.
I also loved “Un Lun Dun” by China Mievelle, and anything by Nancy Farmer.
One more, a series where the first book is called, “Wake”. I can’t remember the author, and am too lazy to look it up. I think the second book in the series was called, “Fade”.
I could go on and on. I teach 7th grade Lit. and Sci Fi is my favorite.
#2: Ok, yeah, the Uglies series is pretty awesome (and I’m totally ordering Graceling now)
Um, an adult series I liked (or, really just the first two) was Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko.
I did like Vampire Academy (maybe too much) and The Bartimaeus Trilogy and Percy Jackson series are both fun but more fantasy and a bit younger.
One that I didn’t love but was well liked by others was City of (um. . . Bones?)
A good one that I just loved but wasn’t dystopian was If I Stay.
And I just finished Going Bovine which has all kinds of recommendations but I just thought was good.
(Also, the idea behind Unwind creeped me out and I didn’t love it but can’t stop thinking about it.)
Also? Maybe it’d help your public speaking fear if you actually imagined kissing Spencer Pratt while eating a live spider WHILE you were speaking. Maybe?
Re: point 3, as a fellow sufferer of the nervous pess, I say wear an adult diaper or at least a giant maxi pad for your presentation. I find that when I fear I’m in danger of wetting myself, just knowing I have a backup does wonders to calm my nerves.
Kidding! OR AM I?
I don’t have much to add, but for makeup, my mom likes pretty much anything made by Origins. You can schedule sessions where they’ll discuss your skin and prefered makeups, and then they provide you with a selection of things that can help. My girlfriend likes ‘em, my mom like’s em, and heck, I like ‘em.
As for public speaking, I try to just relax and start talking instead of focusing on exactly. what. words. to. say. This helps me feel more like I’m talking and less like I’m, ya know, ’speaking.’
And not that I have any experience with kids, but whenever I flipped out in a store/restaurant/whatever, my mom would threaten to remove me from the premises, leave the shopping cart and go straight home. And she help up her end of the bargain. She said it was miserable once, maybe twice, and then I was so scared of it happening again I stopped flipping out in public. :P
This sounds uncompassionate, but we always told our kids, “Get up! You’re OK!” (Not in a commanding tone, but a cheerleading tone.) The toddler trips, the little tyke crashes, the kid falls off the horse, the college kid crashes in a crit: “Get up! You’re OK!”
More of a hopeful prayer for us parents, perhaps, but it worked in 3 young lives, and they are awesome adventurers in their young adult lives. Whew!
1) I have mild rosacea & 31-yr-old skin, and I keep it simple most days with green primer and tinted moisturizer with a loose powder over the top. The green primer is the key to getting rid of the redness.
2) I can’t believe no one has recommended Cherie Priest yet! She’s from Seattle & has two series – Four & Twenty Blackbirds, Wings to the Kingdom, and Not Flesh Nor Feathers; the second series only has one book out so far, Boneshaker, but she’s working on #2 right now (twitter @cmpriest). Boneshaker is zombies + steampunk, which is just AWESOME.
3) I hated speaking too, until I had to get used to it FAST for my last job. I found that it was much easier to talk about stuff that I was confident in my knowledge about, so that I could follow an outline instead of a script. Don’t read straight from your Powerpoint, and keep the text on the Powerpoint short and simple – if the audience is reading all the info off the screen, what’s the point in talking to them? ALTHOUGH this could work to your advantage – they’re too busy reading the screen to notice that you’re sweating like a racehorse. :-)
4) No idea, but I like the idea of letting him put the bandaid on himself – if anything, it’s distracting. In public, maybe hustle him off to the bathroom?
Urban Decay – got it at Sephoria which is in JC Penny’s out my way (NJ). It is a cream to powder that you dot with your finger and then blend with a brush. 30 seconds and I don’t look scary anymore.
And the pics are awesome – Riley looks so much like you in that one – I’d never noticed that before.
Adorable children.
As far as the public speaking, I had to give many presentations in college and I HATE speaking in front of a group. I’m shy by nature so it’s terrifying to stand up there. But the one thing that always helped was practice. Practice, practice, practice. Practice for a friend, husband, dog, mirror, just practice. It will make you feel a lot less shaky once you’re up there if you feel confident that you know exactly what you need to say.
I, uh, don’t wear makeup, so I cant help you there. BUT I do have rosacea, and I have to tell you that the only thing that’s ever helped is washing my face with straight honey. I know. Just get your face wet, pour about a quarter-sized bit of honey in your palm, rub your hands together, and rub it all over your face like you would with any other soap. The first time I tried it, I could not BELIEVE how much better my skin immediately felt and looked.
Honey is a highly pesticide-ed product, so be sure to use organic honey when you’re slathering it all over your face.
Two words: visual aids
They give the audience something to look at besides you; give you something to look at, and to reference.
Also to speak slowly. When I am nervous I tendtospeakveryfastand…
I second the nod to Meg Rosoff, for “How I Live Now.” It’s a beautiful story–very sophisticated writing for YA.
[1] lately i find myself a fan of the not-quite-makeup makeup, like benefit’s some-kinda-gorgeous and cargo concealer. i cover up the areas i want to “blend” and leave the rest as is, maybe a little dusting with mineral powder and im out the door.
[2] im not so much into YA fiction, but i just finished “the immoral life of henrietta lacks” and it was a really interesting read. (also, i am the biggest dork EVER, so keep that in mind.)
[3] i actually kind of enjoy public speaking and giving presentations, so i might not be the best person to give advice….but take a deep breath and SMILE. most of your other classmates are probably feeling the same way and barely paying attention, anyways. (also, the smile trick really works when im in the middle of a long run and want to kill myself. instead of that unfortunate outcome i smile, natural endorphins and boom. it really works, i swear.)
[4] as for riley losing his shit…ignore it? within reason, of course. next time it happens at home, take a laid back approach (maybe you already are?) and talk about it when he calms down. kids feed off you and your energy (duh, you know this) and if youre sure to chill out, hopefully he will too. also, i saw someone had the idea of having him help with the bandaid, etc and i think thats a FABULOUS idea. give it a whirl.
[5] SUPER cute.
1.) Avon Magix Face Perfector. My husband calls it Face Spackle. It goes on light and kinda fills in the dents and dings and gives you a smooth matte-ish look. It comes in natural or you can get it tinted like a base.
I love it. I have huge pores and some chicken pox scars and uneven skin tone which apparently signifies that I am getting OLD, and this stuff covers it up.
I have no idea how good it would work on rosacea though. It is only like $10 so you wouldn’t be out much to try it.
Can’t help you with the other ones other than to say those school pictures are just too cute. The thumbs hooked in the pocket are just killing me!
I am also terrified of public speaking. It is my worst fear. However, I have to do it from time to time. These are things that help me:
Huge, deep, make-your-lungs-hurt breaths.
A LOT of positive self-talk. Even if you don’t believe it all. But seriously, do it.
The best advice I have ever gotten, however, is to be fully present in your fear. Acknowledge that you are scared, but know that you will do well. Dive into that fear as if it is a swimming pool. Instead of trying to escape what you fear, just engulf yourself in it and totally attack the task.
YOU WILL ROCK THE PRESENTATION!
ok Annie’s story about the leg around the podium cracked me up.
Let me know the verdict of the makeup query and I am curious!
My daughter is 7 and she still flips out when she is hurt and we do not dare approach her lest we want our heads ripped off with her very sharp claws. I have no idea what to do except the only thing that works for us is to give her that space and a bit of time to get her shit together and then we can usually ask her if there is blood or if she hit her head. Without really looking AT her, you know. When it has been serious, she usually does want assistance, but only when SHE is ready.
The Giver: Lois Lowry (classic, and it has a couple of sequels)
City of Ember: Jeanne DuPrau (also has sequels, but I’ve heard they aren’t great)
Life as We Knew It: Susan Beth Pfeffer (has sequel…I think it’s Dead and Gone)
Ender’s Game: Orson Scott Card. I’m sure you’ve read this one already and I give it a solid “meh/bleh” but it’s pretty famous.
One that’s not explicitly YA but never gets mentioned when the usual dystopian/post-apoc novels are brought up…Parable of the Sower by Octavia Scott Butler. A very easy read and after having lived in California…just crazily/scarily accurate.
More on this blog: but I haven’t read all the ones she recommends…
http://kmessner.livejournal.com/142766.html
Anyway, I have a huge collection of dystopian books. My parents had no book filters when I was growing up and my dad was in the habit of giving me crazy shit to read.
Oh, and Z is for Zachariah. This is one from when I was growing up that I was obsessed with for a while (I mean, when I was taking a break from my steady diet of Enid Blyton).
Love your boys! Public speaking… lots of great advice already, the one part that I have struggled with the most was the shaking of my body and my voice, because I was so nervous and there was one trick they thought me while doing some theater training – right before the presentation while you are sitting in a chair inhale as much air as you can, grab the sides of your chair and tens up your whole body as hard as you can while holding your breath. Hold it in as long as you can and then as slowly as you possibly can release the air and relax your muscles at the same time. Repeat a few times. Hope that makes sense… you will still be scared shitless but at least you will look relaxed and not shaky. Plus you can do this exercise almost anywhere without people even noticing it. Best of luck!
I can only comment on the third question.
I do a ton of presentations and there are two things, in my experience, that help.
First, you have to be totally prepared. No last minute cramming, the goal is to know the topic inside out and backwards so you are a total expert. It can’t be memorizing a speech or making cue cards but having a complete and total understanding of all of the nuances of the topic so you are prepared for any question.
Second, you put on a killer outfit that you know looks amazing on you. You pump yourself up in the mirror to the point where you are obnoxious in your confidence level even to yourself. Then you walk into the classroom with the knowledge that no one within a ten block radius, including the teacher, knows the subject better than you and you are on the planet for the next 15 minutes to give your classmates just enough knowledge on the subject to be dangerous. In your head it may even help to imagine them using your wildly interesting information to sound brilliant and impressive at the next cocktail party.
The more prepared you are on the subject and polished you look, the less anxiety there will be in the whole exchange. Anxiety is a head game you play all by yourself that you can overcome with knowledge and confidence.
Good luck! You’ll do great.
Try the Aveda line of makeup. All natural, not expensive. And it smells great. I have been using in for some time. In fact, it replaced my much more expensive products and is doing exactly the same job!
re: makeup, I have pretty oily skin and use Double Wear from Estee Lauder and love it. It gives some serious coverage but doesn’t look cakey. Then I use powder on top if things get shiny.
re: Riley, our son does this sometimes too. We just grab him and hold him til he calms down.
re: pictures, AWESOME.
Look at people in the forehead, just between the eyes. It looks like you’re making eye contact but it’s far less intimidating.
Make-up: Mary Kay products (I know, it sounds totally granny, but hey) are pretty great. They have liquid AND mineral make-up, if that’s what you liked about the Bare Escentuals. And if the rosacea is back in full-force (or even semi-fore) for the love, go see a dermatologist to and bring him/her the ingredient list on whatever make-up you’d like to use, or ask for a List of Things to Avoid since there’s no sense in using make-up to cover up something it could exacerbate. Good luck!
On the make-up, have you tried Clinique? My sister swears by it. Personally I don’t use make-up, but I use Aveeno “clear complexion” moisturizer along with other zit-related products on my face. I’ve accepted the fact that I will never stop getting acne until I die and am cremated.
On the presentation, I wish I could remember whatever I did to stop visibly shaking during every presentation. A few things: make sure your topic is something that interests you, so you at least don’t have to fake that. I blew a whole room away once when I gave a speech about a personal situation. Weird. The next thing is, like someone else suggested, write and write and write about what you’re going to talk about. It will ensure you are articulate. If you have a PowerPoint, make it comprehensive (within reason) so you don’t have to worry about forgetting anything. And finally, just remind yourself that almost everyone else in the room is just as nervous about speaking and is 100% sympathetic with you. Oh, and that no matter what, it will soon be over.
I know how you feel! I totally hate public speaking — will do almost anything to get out of it! I’ve tried everything to calm myself and nothing really works. The only thing that has helped me was to promise to treat myself to cherry cobbler after I finished it AND to just keep reminding myself that once I finish it, its over! Sending you my very best wishes for a smooth and fast presentation!
Oh, on the kid freakout thing – how much of it is drama? I used to think my kid couldn’t easily regain her composure when she’d gotten herself worked up, but once I reflexively threatened her during a shriek session, and she immediately stopped the show. Hmm. So basically I will quietly tell her that she’d better be quiet or ___. What about telling him that everyone in the store is looking at him? (Not like it isn’t true?)
I have another technique I keep in my toolkit, but I suspect you won’t like the idea. I got it from a book about how some Indian tribe used to live. To keep their babies from crying and giving away their hiding places to the enemies, they would cover their mouths and noses so they couldn’t breathe, until the crying stopped. So using this logic, when one of mine is going way overboard with the noise, I briefly cover their nose and mouth. I have only resorted to this a few times, but hey, it works.
I know you already use a primer but have you tried Philosophy Clear Makeup? BRILLIANT. No shine. Often I wear it alone or with just concealor on the under eye bags. It fills everything in, no shine, just looks great. If I want to be fancier I use Amazing Cosmetics mineral foundation, the pressed compact. Really nice finish, long lasting, but it isn’t cheap I admit.
For public speaking, I find it easier to know your subject matter well, but to not have every word planned out.
Plan out certain points you want to bring up, but if you have to come up with your speech on the spot, you’ll be concentrating on that and not what people are thinking about you at the time.
Look for a smiling person in the audience(there has to be at least one) if you get nervous at any point, and try to be one of the first people who goes up to speak so you don’t have time to sit and think about how nervous you are.
Hope this helps :)
On reading material: I second Uglies, and there’s Everlost, Shipbreaker, Shade’s Children, Smart Rats … uh and here’s a very strange list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_apocalyptic_and_post-apocalyptic_fiction Please note the table of zombie apocalypse reading. Mm hmm.
I don’t have any suggestions for you, but I just wanted to say good luck on the presentation and huge SCORE on the school pics. Riley is as handsome as ever – winning pose and smile and Dylan – what a cheeky little cherub he is – so adorable. They are almost as cute as mine. :)
those are some cute kids! and i am still laughing over the “doooommmm” from the last post. because my friend paul says that all the time, about everything, and he’s 31.
you should read “how i live now” by meg rosoff. it’s not quite as INTENSE as the hunger games/catching fire, but it’s very well written and provokes thought. thoughtfulness? whatever. makes your brain go.
and for YA fiction that is non-dystopian in nature but will ring truer than any teen-focused book you’ve ever read, “looking for alaska” by john green.
and for non-YA dystopia, jasper fforde’s “shades of grey”. or thursday next series. or nursery crimes series. but shades of grey is easiest to engage with, i think.
2) Garth Nix has a YA fantasy trilogy I like Sabriel, Lirael and Abhorsen. Terry Pratchett is brilliant fun, everything he writes I enjoy The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents is a nice place to start.
3) Public speaking makes me dizzy, nauseous and shaky. The first three speeches I gave in Speech 1A in college, I blacked out – not fainted, just blocked all memory of the event. Then I went home and puked. However, I was so intent on looking and sounding awesome that no one knew I was a quivering basket case. There are two things that made all the difference for me: physical presentation and preparation.
Wear a professional outfit that makes you feel like hot shit, put on makeup, wear cute shoes.
Read your speech out loud to yourself until you like your tone. Read it to JB. A good presentation is all about structure. Introduce your topic, get their attention, tell them why each and every one of them should give a damn. Tell people what you will be telling them, tell it to them concisely, then in summation tell them what you just told them. Cite all sources internally (according to So-and-so 87% of babies have no knees). Always finish with “Thank You,” never with “um, well, I guess that’s it.” Don’t ham, don’t apologize for your presence or any stumbles. Project your voice and breathe. Your classmates are going to be at least as scared as you are, even if you think you suck (and you will think so because you are too hard on yourself), they will think you are awesome. And you will be.
4) When Riley freaks in a public place, tell him in your most no-nonsense voice that that behavior is unacceptable, give him to the count of three to compose himself and use his words, then hoist him out of there. Then when he has calmed down explain why you did what you did, explain how he could have acted to prevent addition of wedgie to injury. Try to get him to articulate what it is about hurting himself that sends him over the edge. It might be something really simple, like having experienced adult interference that caused additional pain (fear of stingy disinfectant anyone). Then explain what you will do to mitigate that which makes him freak in the future. You can also reiterate your understanding of why he is freaking out the next time he does it (”I understand that you are afraid of ___ but that is not going to happen, your behavior is unacceptable, etcetera”). You may have to do this a half a dozen times before he gets that he can control his outbursts. (All of this of course assumes that he has probably not hurt himself that badly).
5) Gorgeous. If finances continue to be a pain in your ass you could pimp those boys out as fashion models.
Oh, one other word of wisdom I gained along the way. Stick your jaw out a little and speak in a low tone (within your comfortable range). This will make your voice project and sound a lot more commanding. Try it, it’s cool.
I can recommend three techniques for your presentation, I learned them in an intro to NLP (neuro linguistic programming) seminar.
1. Anchoring – you associate a “negative” experience with a positive experience. Google NLP anchoring for techniques.
2. Visualization – visualize yourself giving a good presentation, it may help to visualize someone else doing it first.
3. Modeling – literally model yourself after a role model (in this case a good presenter) Model their techniques like where they hold their hands, where they look, etc..
Hope this helps!
The Steig Larsson Books are a great read – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who play with fire and the Girl who kicked the hornets nest. I was so sad to have finished the last one!!
I have the same problem with a 5 year old who will not even let me look when he hurts himself. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING. I just want to help. I have noticed that if I get his little sister involved it defuses the suituation. As if she is the one trying to help him.
Volunteer to give your presentation first, if possible. That way everyone else will be silently rehearsing their spiel instead of listening to yours…at least that was what I told myself. Minimizes the time you spend sitting there shitting your pants, too.
Have you tried the Bare Minerals Matte powder foundation?? I am SUPER oily. Nothing controls it. I have tried every lotion and potion. The Matte foundation at least gives me good coverage for old acne redness and keeps me from greasing out by 9am.
makeup: no suggestion, but will recommend origins or clinique (they’re related) for your skin issues…i’ve been using origins for about 8 years and my ruddy, red skin has looked fabulous since the first week of using it. clinique also has a few new products for redness/rosacea: http://www.clinique.com/templates/products/search/ecat.tmpl?search=rosacea
speaking: DON’T memorize..I did that once and it was the worst performance of my life. I agree with whoever said ‘know your material’…if you really know it, you won’t have to think about it–just explain it like you were talking to JB or a friend.
also, great pictures :)
Those pictures are really cute!
Others have mentioned the first two, but I will put my votes in since the highest votes might get more attention:
Life as we knew it, Sue Beth Pfeffer (three in series)- probably one of my top favorites of all time. Usually I buy books “for the kids”, but this series I have openly purchased for myself (and got signed bookplates from the author). I give them as gifts frequently.
Tomorrow when the war began, John Marsden (seven in series plus a three book follow-up series). Surprisingly addictive.
Unwind, Neil Shusterman – in the fictitious future following a civil war over abortion, the compromise is that parents can elect to have children ‘unwound’ (all body organs harvested and donated so they do not truly ‘die’). The book follows some teens who escape en route to the harvesting camp.
Also, although not dystopian, I recommend Skeleton Creek by Patrick Carmen. The third in this series comes out in September. It’s a ghost story with online segments that the book gives you the passwords to. Very good multimedia ghost story.
I can only answer the first one…Colorescience makeup. http://colorescience.com/
According to my stepmom, if you clench your butt cheeks while speaking you automatically stand up straighter and speak better…I don’t know if it works.
Also you should try The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary Pearson. Really good YA fiction. It takes place in the near future and deals a lot with advances medicine, ethics and the love of parents for children. And then after you read and love it, read the interview with the author because it makes you see the book through one more lens.
ps love the blog as a mother and an exercise fanatic. Keep it coming!
Lovely boys. Unmissable blog.
Re foundation: I’d recommend a blog called Face Goop, which has just reviewed Armani Face Fabric. I won’t give the URL ‘cos then you’ll think I’m a troll.
I am reading the House of Night series right now. It’s pretty good.
Your children are beautiful!
I quit wearing makeup a few years ago and now only do for Special Occasions, but I recently had surgery on my neck and the area around the scar had a massive freakout. Anything I put on it would cause it to get all red and itchy. Only thing that worked was a prescription thing and I can’t use it if I get preggers (we’re trying for #2). On a whim I tried some of Neutrogena’s norwegian formula hand creme and OMG, I haven’t had a flareup in weeks! It isn’t oily – more like a matte finish, so powder would adhere to it pretty well, I think. I use a tiny speck of the stuff. it rubs on white but then disappears in a few minutes. Saved my life – I might actually be able to wear necklaces and turtlenecks again.
Books…I read a YA series The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud and laughed my ass off for all that it was very grim. Written in a very unique style. Piggybacks on the whole magic/Harry Potter mania, but has its own unique spin.
Public speaking. Practice practice practice is my only advice. If you know your stuff, then if you flub it won’t be the end of the world – you’ll know enough to recover. Its like a music performance – you’d practice a jillion times before the big event, right? Same idea.
Hurt kiddo: Can’t help you here. Mine can’t figure out that it hurts me when he pulls my hair. Thinks its funny when I say Ow or Let Go or That Hurts. Little demon.
CUTE PICTURES OMG!!!
OMG, those babies are SO GORGEOUS!
And, no, I do not have any helpful As to your Qs. So there.
Birthmarked by Caragh M. O’Brien
Excellent read!
I dealing with the same thing with Bare Minerals, but I keep using it.
re: public speaking – I had to give a lot of them during my nutrition classes too. (but we had to use powerpoint for each one. so crazy!) Besides hiding behind the technology, I’ve found that practicing it over and over again in front of anyone helps.
Also, if you know your stuff, be an authority on the subject – like you’re telling a friend about something you use and like. It will give you the confidence to get through.
Hm. I know how Riley feels: I got creamed by a golf ball on my honeymoon and shrieked “DON’T TOUCH ME!!!” when my poor husband tried to get within a couple of feet of me.
Unfortunately this is just an instinct and hard for me, a (supposedly) rational adult, to control, so I’m not sure what to suggest you do for Riley other than give him some deep breathing exercises when he’s calm and try to remind him to use them when he’s freaked out.
Cute photos! Very cute. Also, I love how you’d rather kiss Spencer Pratt on the mouth than give your presentation (YUUUUCK).
I can only help with #1: MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus Foundation – $26. But put it on with a brush, not the sponge. Great coverage without feeling heavy. It lets freckles shine through, but takes away the redness and uglies.
As for public speaking – I’m one of those weirdos who actually likes speaking in front of others. But I’m a big attention whore, so that’s my excuse. :)
I used to use Lancome as well, and I really liked it. It was a little oily, but in a nice, glowy way, and it had good coverage.
As for books: I really liked Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (despite all the annoying footnotes), but if you aren’t up for a book that time-consuming, Susannah Clarke’s book of short stories “The Ladies of Grace Adieu” is really fun.
1.) Sorry, I’m clueless about makeup.
2.) Maybe not so much YA, but I think Octavia Butler’s dystopian fantasies are amazing.
3.) My trick for this (and for when I have to do things on TV) is to pick one or two people in the room and talk directly to them. Look from one to the other, though, so you don’t end up looking stalker-y.
4.) My neice is like this. It helps to speak calmly and keep offering help, maybe even trying to lead him over to an out-of-the-way spot in public. At home, it helps to remind him that you’re there if he wants you, and that you’ll check in on him in a couple of minutes. (Both scenarios assume no bleeding or otherwise bad injuries).
5.) Your boys are gorgeous. Am hiding my daughters.
Oh, my god, I just read your post on Stir. You poor girl. You’re dealing with truckloads of stress right now, and apparently, you beat yourself up every time you eat a cookie. I wish I provide you with a full time au pair, for free. I wish I could give you more hours in a day, or a clonazepam prescription, or a fantastic pediatrician who makes house calls, something that would really help you out.
Wait a minute: I just realized that what you need is to live in France! Have you seen Michael Moore’s documentary? French mothers get free au pairs and French doctors make housecalls.
Public speaking has been a true challenge for me so I feel you. It pisses me off more than anything that my body takes over to make me look like a shaky fool when I know the material better than anyone in the room. Here’s what helps me:
1) Over-preparation. Practice as many times and in as many different environments as possible.
2) Have your transitions down pat. You know the content, but transitions are key in moving you along if you get stuck.
3) 5 minutes before, when your heart starts beating out of your chest or something just as annoying, breath as much air in as possible, hold 3 seconds, exhale fully, hold 3 seconds, rinse, repeat. I’ve done all the breathing exercises I think they’ve recommended and this one is the easiest for me to remember and do as the time gets closer.
4) Don’t fight whatever adrenaline/anxiety stuff is going on. Just tell yourself to ride it out as it’s happening and do your best. It’s going to happen, it’s going to go away.
5) Even if you have the presentation memorized, always have a back-up whether it’s an index card or PowerPoint that you can refer to.
6) This last one is probably not a healthy recommendation, but it once was the only thing that calmed me hell down. I convinced myself that no one really gave a crap about what I was going to say, so I might as well screw up because it wouldn’t matter. My “goal” was to be disappointing and strangely, I stopped freaking and did fine. It’s also worked for me to convince myself how sharing what I’m presenting is helpful people. If my goal is to share knowledge for the greater good of others, then it takes the focus off of me. I get very experimental with the mind trickery.
Let us know how it goes next time!
Make-up. I’m 50 and still have oily skin even though I have a few wrinkles as well.
I use Physicians’ Formula mineral powder. It’s has no mica in it so there is nothing shiny to get caught in the tiny lines in your face. I think it cost like $12.00 at the drugstore. I also use a Boots No.7 tinted moisturizer (from Target) beforehand. I think the moisturizer costs about $10.00 for a tube.
I used to be petrified of presentations in classes. Until I realized that I do code reviews/meetings at work and live through those just fine. The folks in class are just classmates. They don’t sign your paychecks or make pink-slip decisions. That helped me relax, but I’ll also second the folks above. Take props (food to sample) or pictures. Anything that the audience can relate to usually does wonders.
(Just don’t do anything that’s too fiddly.)
I second the Everyday Minerals!
OK, what works for me:
Stress: Bach rescue remedy, 5 drops under the tongue, have been known to wait 20 minutes and (dare I say, REPEAT PROCESS,…. twice) Gets me through management presentations (in front of State officials (!) Blah Blah Blah.) Have even been known to slip a drop or two in Neurotic cat’s ear on occasion. He gets truly pissed, but only for the 1st 5 minutes, then I swear to God, he smiles! (I can only assume it isn’t easy being neurotic…)
For the Shinies: DHC white sunscreen SPF 25 or velvet skin coat, both as primers, then follow with normal make-up…any make-up. Not cheap, both approx. $25.00/each. But feels soooooo soft on your skin–you will be amazed.
Cheap version: Apply make-up, brush on vey light layer of cornstarch, yes, the cooking kind. Absorbs oil for hours.
Good Luck on both accounts.
B.
I really only have a solution for #1. I loved Bare Minerals for years, but have also noticed the increased shine (more like an oil slick) recently. I have ‘difficult’ skin as well, acne prone and splotchy. I recently made the switch to Sheer Minerals, which sadly you can only order online, but it is completly what I was looking for. It is obnoxiously hawked by Leeza Gibbons (which made me almost not order it) but I swear it works so much better than Bare Minerals ever did (and I tried the matte version of of BM too, no luck). The best part is that I only order one color (bisque works for my fair skin) and no stupid extra layer of ‘mineral veil’ on top, just the one powder and I’m shine-free all day. I think you’ll like it.
i think you should consider (if you dont have some already) a good primer. I use smashbox primer and its great for not letting your foundation settle into the fine lines on your face, especially around the eyes.
Love the pictures! so so adorable
Books – I second ‘Girl with the dragon tattoo’ series – great books – I got it on MP3 (audible books) and I’m so impressed with Simon Vances’ ability to pronounce Swedish towns and names like ‘Hovenstepeverken’ or some shit like that.
Make-up – give it up….nothing hides wrinkles.
Public Speaking – Puking is good – but make sure you have a breath mint in your pocket.
Hysterics – I love the band-aid idea – my kid was a screamer too – I had to just sit by and wait if it was a minor injury; strangely she was very cooperative the one time it was a major injury.
Pictures are adorable.
Make-up suggestion – Bare Escentuals mineral make-up. Its light, lasts all day, and doesn’t sit in my wrinkles at all.
Oh missed the bit about it being dystopian. The City, Not Long After by Pat Murphy is delicious, especially for anyone who knows and likes San Francisco.
And while it’s usually (but not always) in the adult section, William Gibson is a great one. Part dystopia part cyber punk. All Tomorrows Parties is a good stand alone (also set largely in SF). It is downright creepy at times how acurately predictive he is.
Do you watch Dexter – a Showtime series? After I read your random thriller-story post a few weeks ago, I realized that you would probably love it and am just now responding now that you’ve asked for book suggestions (not the same thing, I realize…). I just got roped into and only regret how many hours of my life I’ve spent staring at the TV. But that was just a lie because I don’t regret it; it’s awesome. Watch it. I have a feeling you will be hooked.
Help for #3:
Yoga breaths beforehand so you feel in control. Then make eye contact with one (maybe two) person in the audience who seems to be paying attention and give the presentation to them. It will help when the rest of the room goes peripheral. Every once in a while you can glance around to make it seem like you’re including everyone, but keep your focus on your one or two targets and it will keep you relaxed (relatively speaking, of course…). Good luck!
re: make-up. our skins sound remarkably similar! i use biotherm aquaradiance light in the summer (just wish its spf was higher!) and lancome photogenic lumessence, which smoothes wonderfully and lasts ages.
1) I use Revlon Colorstay and those oil-absorbing sheet things throughout the day (my forehead’s kinda like the BP oil spill). You may want to write to the people at/try some Paula’s Choice products; my face-care regimen is 99% her stuff and my skin’s usually pretty happy. I’d say use foundation primer, but that stuff just breaks me out.
2) Uglies was all right. People keep raving about Incarceron, but I wasn’t crazy about it. The Maze Runner was very boy-ish but OK. There’s a sequel to The Forest of Hands and Teeth but I haven’t read it yet. Really, I’m just waiting for Mockingjay. Oh, and I have to recommend Black & White (Icarus Project Book 1). It’s superheroes in a sort of dystopian future. Which sounds kinda lame but it’s awesome and I can’t wait for the second book to come out soon.
3) HA! I had to take a public speaking CLASS in college. So, what you want to do is write out your entire presentation, preferably in outline form. Practice, practice, practice (I don’t know how long your presentation has to be, but time yourself. I talk really fast when I’m nervous and practicing on pace made it so when I gave my actual presentations, I could actually be understood.). Then make 1 or 2 note cards with key phrases/words in order of your outline (don’t write down entire sentences–you just want a guide to glance at to keep yourself on pace. Writing “SLOW DOWN” or “BREATHE” in a different color pen to remind yourself to do so is also not a bad idea.). And what helped me the most during the actual presentation is mind games: I told myself that most people in the class just wanted to get home and were probably not paying super-close attention to me. Took off some of the pressure of having a room full of eyes looking at me when I could imagine most of them were actually thinking about dinner or their sports meet later.
I would recommend the Clarasonic face brush, it is pricey, but helps me with the oil factor. I also switched to the matte Bare Minerals foundation that has also helped me out. :)
Good Luck!!!
I use smashbox primer on a clean and moisturized face, I just went from bare minerals to maybelline dream liquid mousse. Way cheaper and better coverage, it honestly goes on like butter. We are almost the same age (I think) and this makes my under eyes look pretty darn good! I use Medium 2.5 for the color! Let us know what you choose :)
So makeup– I can’t believe I only saw one other reccomendation for Mary Kay. :) It is amazing. They have a mineral powder and a liquid foundation option. Doesnt settle. But even more importantly to go with it is their anti-aging Time Wise skin care line to help fight and reverse the fine lines and wrinkles underneath the makeup :) Awesome products. I use them and love them.
Check it out! http://www.marykay.com/rebekahgriffin
Also…Your boys are absolutley adorable! Great pictures!!! :D
Book Recs:
Gone, by Michael Grant – Sort of like a teen Left Behind, all of the adults mysteriously disappear. I didn’t like the sequel (Hunger) as much, but Gone was well done.
I think your book tastes are a little more hardcore than mine, but I loved loved loved Jasper Fforde’s new book Shades of Grey. It is set generations after an event which wiped out the world we know. It’s not really dark, but has a sense of creeping big brother-ness about it that intensifies. It’s very satirical and it takes a little while to figure out exactly what is going on, but I found it very worth it.
Whenever I have to do something ridiculously difficult, such as public speaking, I try to picture myself in the moments immediately after, and think about how relieved I will feel. It’s really strange I know, but it works for me.
I had the opportunity to work with a top-notch witness coach years ago and one thing that stuck and has served me well for all kinds of speaking/presentation things:
Don’t tilt your head when talking or taking questions. It undermines your credibility and confidence. Posture counts!
Good luck.
I use Loreal minerals and love it. I’ve tried others but haven’t had good luck with them.
Re: public speaking- practice practice practice. You can also try looking over the audience instead of at them, at least until you settle in.
I’m so jealous of good school photos.
1. Cute pictures!!
2. I have to admit that you were the one who got me hooked on the bare minerals but I had to break up with them, too. My face started to look cakey and powdery. I am back with my stand by of Lancome liquid (bought from ebay) but my sis in law swears I need to try some Mac base but I have yet to suck it up and go to the mall to try it.
3. Public speaking: one trick I use- when you are nervous, your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth and it tightens your jaw and face – making it all too noticeable that you are nervous. Consiously remove tongue from the roof of your mouth. Also, in the begining just say you are nervous or that this is a big deal for you because public speaking makes you nervous. Once you put it out there, folks are more sympathetic and somehow voicing it helps calm you down.
Re #1 the makeup: have had rosacea forever. Unfortunately the only things that have worked for me are the $$$ products. It sucks. I use Murad Redness moisturizer (not too bad, lasts forever) and YSL matt touch compact foundation. Not too matte-y, lasts all day, and you only have to use a little to cover a lot.
Re public speaking: Just know your stuff, and pretend like you’re telling someone about a subject you know and love. Conversation. I’m in sales. I do those a lot.
Re Kids: I think my hormones just made my head explode. Cute cute cute kids. Send them to Georgia next time you need a break!
Have you tried the Neutrogena minerals stuff? There’s both loose and pressed mineral powder make-up.
Feed by M.T. Anderson (my total author crush. He is smart and adorable). Awesome, awesome dystopian fiction with a use of language similar to A Clockwork Orange, IMO.
Not Russian, but that kind of wordplay.
Books!
Many of these have already been suggested, but I work in a Kids’ bookstore so I will tell you what I’ve heard good things about in the dystopian genre
The Tomorrow Series – John Marsden (HIGHLY recommended – fantastic series)
Gone, Hunger, Lies – Michael Grant
Immortal Instruments Series – Cassandra Clare
Chaos Walking trilogy – Patrick Ness
Triskelia trilogy – Carrie Mac
The Enemy – Charlie Higson
For the Win – Cory Doctorow
Birthmarked – Caragh O’Brien
The Maze Runner – James Dashner
Incarceron – Catherine Fisher
For #3… practice in front of living things. Your friends, your dog, more of your friends, your Honey, your mail carrier, that odd neighbor. Practice as many times as you can… But in front of people. It will make a world of difference.
For #4… When he gets hurt act like it’s no big deal. Of course, listen for the blood curdling screams that let you know he has broken a bone or something but baring that don’t give more than a mild “Oh, looks like you fell off your bike… Ya’ok?” This will give him space to be a big boy, if that’s what he’s craving. Or it will nix the situation where he has the opportunity to say ‘Look at mommy and daddy dance around trying to fix me… Isn’t that a cool sight!’
(Standard disclaimer: I have no kids of my own bit nanny for two under four years old.)
Bon chance! :)
As the parent of YA and a middle school literacy teacher, I must recommend the Percy Jackson series. It will not compare to Hunger Games, but the 5 books (much much much better than the movie) are fun and a good read and will hold you over until the 3rd book in the Hunger game series comes out in August.
Also, I love that you can manage to reference Firefly, mineral make fails and Toastmasters nightmares all in one posting. Thanks.
Second/third/fourthing Bare Minerals matte. No idea about how it works with wrinkles (I’m 22, none yet), but it DOES help with shine (I’m 22, I’ve still got acne).
Also, it’s not dystopian, but if you’re a grownup who appreciates “YA” lit, The Westing Game is lovely.
I haven’t read all the comments, so forgive me if everything has been said before.
I am a PhD student and these tips I got from a famous professor who is renowned for his great talks.
Write out the entire script. Write it just the way you speak. Use a big font, lots of spacing between the lines, and leave space at the sides. That way, you do not look necessarily like you are reading, and it will be easy – in case you get lost – to find your way back into the text. Highlight important words, mark where you want to stop for emphasis.
Practice your script so that you know it by heart. Therefore you perhaps might not even need it – but in case you get too nervous it is always there and if all else fails you can just read it word for word.
Be aware that there is a tendency to rush through one’s own sentences, so practice your timing and try to slow down. If it feels unbearably slow it is probably the right speed. (This is a much cherished tip from my sister, who’s an actor)
Understand that everybody is nervous and don’t try to fight your nerves. If your hands shake, it does not matter. You have got your script, and you can read.
Good luck! x
Hey Linda,
Don’t give up on Bare Minerals yet. They now have a Matte line that I have not yet tried but my hairdresser swears by it. We have salons here that do Bare Minerals (fyi my hairdresser does not work for one) so perhaps you do there too and you could let them know you are about to give up on Bare Minerals unless the settling stops. I bet you could try it out before investing.
H
As to the makeup, I was in the exact same boat with Bare Minerals. I’m almost 32 with combination skin (oily t-zone and forehead), dry cheeks, particularly in the winter. I felt like out of the blue Bare Minerals was highlighting my wrinkles, and my forehead was so shiny I mights as well have spread Crisco over it.
I switched to a new moisturizer(Lancome High Resolution Refill 3X), and used a separate more intense moisturizer for the smile and eye wrinkles (Lancome High Resolution Eye), then I tried Bare Minerals Matte which I LOVE and find to be so much better than the regular stuff, and I stopped using the Mineral Veil as I think, despite its claims, that it was contributing to my shine factor.
Hope that helps.
Oh dear…cutest school pics evah! :) As for the makeup, I use Meow Cosmetics (http://www.meowcosmetics.com/) mineral makeup. There’s no *shiny* in it, and they have so many shades/formulations that you are sure to find something that works. Plus they do samples so you can try out different colors.
The screaming, hurting child: we have one of those too and the only way I can find to handle it is to step back and let them scream for a bit. It’s like they need to get out the panic or something. Then I step in and as calmly as possible, offer my help. Sometimes that works, other times I invoke more screaming. Sorry, no other hints than that. :(
I used to be surprised that the more tired I was, the less nervous I would be for a presentation. Part of this is that I just didn’t care anymore, & knew that the presentation was only 30 minutes of my life, and then I could close my eyes. I would psyche myself up thinking, lordy this is only 30 minutes. Even I can get through 30 uncomfortable minutes. Key item – lay off the caffeine. Combined with your adrenaline, you will get shaky. Good luck!
Propranolol, 10 mg 30 minutes before your speech. Take with lots of water and some food. You need an Rx (and also you cannot be an uncontrolled asthmatic, a rampant cocaine abuser, bradycardic or hypotensive) from your MD/NP/PA but holy cow testicles the shit is MAGIC.
Not YA, but definitely worth reading: Margaret Atwood’s “Year of the Flood” and “Oryx and Crake”. I’m currently reading “Hunger Games” and a friend recommended “Life as We Knew it”. Can you summarize the book recommendations for us?
Aromaleigh mineral makeup. Try it! Horrible shine– no more.
Public speaking– I don’t have any tricks, but it’s always the worst right before you start. I find it helpful to think, it’ll be over in only a few minutes, and no matter how I do, it will be OVER and I’ll never have to make this speech again. I also tell myself that I (emphasis on that I) control how the speech goes, so if I choose to speak slowly and clearly, I can do it, and do an awesome job. I am actually not a bad public speaker, much to my surprise. So I guess it works!
When you’re speaking in public, most people aren’t thinking about the intricacies of your talk, only its substance. They’re not thinking nearly as hard about your presentation as you are. Just don’t talk about anything too technical and you won’t have to worry about it. As long as people can understand what you’re talking about, they’re pretty forgiving. Especially if everyone there has to talk – they’re all too worried about their own presentations to be very critical of yours.
i JUST picked up Life as We Knew it at the library yesterday evening. I finished it at 1am, chewing my nails all the way. it’s wonderful. there’s also a sequel and a companion book (same events, different location).
K, I know you have TONS of makeup recommendations to sift through and a decision to make, but I’m just gonna throw out my two cents. Get thee to the book store and check out Paula Begoun’s books, go to her websites beautypedia.com and cosmeticscop.com. The last one needs a subscription to view all the reviews but if you buy her book, The Original Beauty Bible, it contains a little insert with a code to get something like 1/2 off. I only had to pay $12 for a year. She has done all the leg work to find products that deliver on their claims. From acne to rosacea to aging issues, she’s got the 411. And she’s not just hocking her own line of products (which are excellent), but actually has reviews on 100s of other products including some damn good drug store finds. My skin hasn’t looked this good since before puberty. Good luck!
I didn’t love the Kristin Cashore books; I thought they were good–entertaining– but not great.
Too lazy to read all the comments, so here are a couple possible repeat recommendations:
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer
I second the suggestion for Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies series. The photos turned out great, looks like Riley totally earned that Transformer :)
Oh! Stephenie Meyer’s The Host. Completely different from the Twilight series
also! just read “restoring harmony” by joelle anthony. it’s set up and down the pacific coast, especially in portland/gresham but also between here and victoria. quite well written, and an interesting take on what a dystopia might look like.
ooh! and i second the person who recommended “the adoration of jenna fox”. that’s a good YA dystopian/sci fi-ish sort of book. i read that whole thing in one sitting, i think.
a day late and a dollar short here, but public speaking? um, I would rather shave my legs with a cheese grater! you’re welcome
When you use Bare Minerals do you use the Primer (Prime Time)? If not – go out and get it! That will even out your skin tone big time! They have a new brightening one, that I’m looking forward to.
Also, you didn’t mention a moisturizer. I find that I use different moisturizers in winter and summer because my skin changes drastically. So maybe an oil free SPF moisturizer will help.
I’m also tempted to try the new face cleanser from BE, but haven’t yet…
Avon Magix Face protector. I goes on under your foundation, has an spf, and leaves a smooth matte finish.
Mac Studio Fix. It’s a pressed powder with a touch of foundation built in and makes my skin look amazing. It’s light coverage, but very smooth. I put on a serum before my moisturizer and that stops any concealer, makeup, whatever from settling into the wrinkly bits.
(ok, wrinkly bits sounds way dirty)
I’m so late here, but I skimmed the comments and didn’t see a recommendation for How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff… that might fit the bill. I just finished a stint as a junior high media specialist and the kids are eating that stuff up. The tricky part is a lot of it is slightly too intense, too racy for junior high. If we couldn’t buy it for our school I just wrote down the titles and sent them to the public library, don’t tell. :-)
So your commenters already nailed the books that get mentioned in comparison with The Hunger Games here, but there’s a pretty good review of it/dystopian YA lit in the New Yorker last week: http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2010/06/14/100614crat_atlarge_miller
The Uglies sounds awesome from that and what people say here.
That Feed book too — zombies and blogs?!
1. I’m in love with Maybelline’s pure makeup these days. I only tried them because they were half off at Duane Reade, and then went back to buy a bunch more. Supposedly they’re oil free and 50% water. My skin is on the dryer end of the spectrum but I still hate oil.
2. Law school killed my love of reading so I’m no help here.
3. What helps me is focusing on just one person and ignore everyone else. But then after 5 minutes pick a different person to focus on so it doesn’t get creepy.
4. No kids so I’m no help.
5. ADORABLE!!
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