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Jul
19
I got married in a light blue dress I bought for about $100 at what used to be The Bon. I remember the elderly saleswoman who rang up my purchase, smiling sweetly at me and asking me if I was buying it for prom.
I had to wear these weird boob stickers under it on my wedding day, since it didn’t allow for any kind of support garment. I also wore clear plastic heels.
So, to recap: cheap fake satin dress, boob stickers, hooker shoes. I was the classiest bride ever.
The dress has been hanging in the back of a closet ever since. Not stored or preserved or even slightly protected: just hanging there gathering dust and crumpling on the floor.
I dug it out in 2008 and took some photos, just for fun. I learned that if I needed boob stickers in 2001, I would need something more like an anti-gravity device to wear it now.
I do think it’s pretty, but let’s be honest: I’ll never wear it again, it’s hardly the sort of heirloom you pass down for someone else’s wedding, and even if it were, I have two boys, and if it turns out either one of them wants to wear a dress on their wedding day, not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m guessing they will want to choose their own.
So this weekend, as I was neck-deep in the process of cleaning out our various storage areas, I laid the dress on the pile of junk we were taking to the thrift store. I figured I have the photos and the memories and now I could reclaim the closet space.
JB, however, reacted as though I’d pulled off my wedding ring and hurled it in the toilet. “What the hell,” he complained. “What the HELL.”
“Listen,” I told him. “This is not a metaphor. This is cleaning.”
But it was no use. Back to the closet it went. Along with, I will confess, the clear plastic shoes. Because you never know when those might come in handy, like if I need to compete in a beauty pageant or offer to blow a guy for a dime bag of coke.
Tell me, what did you do with your dress? Is it professionally stored? Being worn by your daughter? Stuffed in the back of a closet to be ignored for a decade at a time?
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215 Responses to “Sentimental storage”
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I was in the military when I got married and they canceled my leave for my original wedding plans, when the war started. So, instead I got married in a courthouse and never wore my dress. 7 years later it hangs in my closet with tags on it. It doesn’t fit.
There are charities in our area that accept wedding dresses that cancer patients, who otherwise could not afford to purchase a nice dress, can have them.
There is another charity in our area that collects beautiful prom dresses for underprivileged young ladies that otherwise couldn’t afford them.
Are there charities like that in your area? perhaps if it going to a wonderful cause, you and JB could see parting with it.
Janet, Miami
That’s kinda cool that he objected so much though. Sweet.
My dress is preserved in that sealed-type box thing (Taken care of by my mom while we were on our honeymoon. The dress itself was $1600 so I wanted it to stay nice). I always envisioned having the train of my dress being made into a baptism gown for my daugther or grandchild(-ren). I’d never imagine my future daughter wearing it, but for baptism purposes I thought it would be cool.
P.S. I think it is a beautiful dress, BTW. You both look very classy in your wedding photos.
Janet
Ha! My wedding was in September and my dress is still hanging in my mother’s closet at my parents’ house — not cleaned or preserved or stored or even shrouded in one of those plastic dry cleaning bags. Just hanging. There’s a mark on it from where some (red) confetti got stuck to the skirt and I was having too much fun to notice. Should probably try and do something about that soon.
On another note, I tried to throw a coat my husband had given me (in 2003) onto the thrift store pile this weekend — just an on-sale Gap trench, nothing fancy — and he looked so injured (”GIVING AWAY MY PRESENTS NOW?”) that I sheepishly put it back in the closet. Where it will gather dust for another seven years, probably.
Oh, mine is trapped in a hermetically sealed box in our basement. I doubt anyone will ever wear it again. I wish I had kept out my headpiece, though. It was awesome and there are days I wouldn’t mind wearing it around like the Queen Mum.
I was thinking though, you could have some pocket squares made for the boys to give them on their wedding day…or make it into a pillow for your room. Or that might be completely hokey.
The hooker shoes? I got nothin’.
My husband had the *exact same* reaction when I told him I wanted to try to sell mine since we have no kids and what the hell was I going to do with it. Good lord, based on his reaction I may as well have just asked him for a divorce then and there. So in the closet it stays. Completely unpreserved, uncleaned and taking up much needed room.
I got married in Vegas in a short black number with yellow polka dots, which inspired the wedding “photographer” to keep mentioning how great a pic of me making out with my best friend/maid of honor would be. Altogether, a very seedy time was had by all, and I’ve worn the dress out a couple of times to cocktail-y type things. It looks even more hooker-ific now that I had a kid though due to a certain post-baby enhancement of my already bodacious proportions…so eventually I may have to say goodbye in the name of morality (or whatever). I doubt my husband will care – he dropped his wedding ring down the garbage disposal two years ago and has yet to mention that he misses it or would like a new one…I don’t think sentimentality is his thing.
OMG, I don’t even know where mine is. I think it is in a closet at my Husband’s Grandparent’s house. I haven’t seen it since our wedding day. It was a white Bridesmaid’s dress. I don’t even think my Husband would care if I threw it away.
Mine’s stuffed in the closet. I never even had it cleaned. For the first 6 or so years, I’d try it on on our anniversary to make sure it still fit…and now, well – now I know it won’t fit. I have two boys who will likely not need it, so it’s just hanging there, dirty, a sad bag of Jessica McClintock tulle. That’s the thing with boys, isn’t it? All the little (and big) things a daughter might cherish are just things they’ll give their wife or toss when we’re gone.
mine was an el’ cheapo dress from jcpenney outlet, but I have it, not stored, or even well taken care of, but I kept it, thinking that perhaps one day I will have something cut from it to give to my daughter or son?? I dunno…. I just dont want to part with it even though obviously its just taking up space. I didn’t spend the money to preserve it because who would ever wear it??? is there truly ever a child who wants to wear their mothers wedding dress???
Guilty. My wife would get rid of her wedding dress, too – but I don’t want her to. I can’t really explain why, but yeah, tell JB there’s at least one person out here that agrees with him.
Oh, and you still look pretty da-, um, darn hot in that dress.
My gown for my first wedding — a highly princessy ballgown with a huge train — is hanging in its original plastic zip garment bag down in my mom’s basement. That marriage lasted a whole 4 years and I seriously doubt the gown will be worn again. But I can’t seem to get rid of it.
My second wedding, I was married in the basement of the local courthouse, wearing a red and white flowered dress because it was all I had at the time. We had no rings, we invited no witnesses. It was necessary at the time, but I wish now for something different. We are planning our ‘renewal of vows’ for our tenth anniversary in 2013. THEN, I will wear a ‘proper’ wedding gown, and will save that one forever in hopes of either/both of my daughters wearing it someday.
My marriage lasted all of about 5 minutes (ok, 10 months), but I was able to be a rockin’ corpse bride for Halloween that year.
My mom graciously drove my wedding dress from Minnesota to Florida with her brood for the wedding. It was on a beach. My white dress was filthy on the bottom. So again, my gracious mother volunteered to take the dress back home with her, get it cleaned and boxed.
That will be 6 years in November. The dress still hangs at her house in a plastic bag. Oh well. At least it’s taking up space in her closet and not mine. :)
As I was reading this I was thinking, “NOOOOOOO!!!! Don’t do it Linda!” I’m with JB, keep the dress. Maybe someday you’ll renew your vows and it will get a second showing? I think that would be sweet.
I had mine preserved in one those box thingies. I do have a daughter who will be free to wear it someday if she wants. I have a feeling that she wont, but I like knowing that it’s there.
I want to see a picture of the shoes!
I have a similar wedding dress- glamorously stored in a plastic carrier back at the back of the closet…
Mine is in one of those fancy boxes. I’m not really sure why. I don’t have any real reason to keep it, and yet I have anyway. My husband (also JB) would probably cry he’s so sentimental.
This made me laugh pretty hard because I had to sneak my wedding get-up (we got married a Renton city hall so we didn’t have to pay for parking. I wore a skirt and a dressy shirt) out of the house because I had the exact same conversation with my husband when I tried to get rid of it during a purge. That was 3 years ago and he has no clue that it’s gone.
You look amazing in that dress in 2008! I couldn’t put my wedding clothes on no matter how hard I tried.
It’s in a box in my spare bedroom closet. It was supposed to be shipped to some cleaning place on the east coast- never sent it and it’s probably out of business 7 years later. My husband bitches about how I never sent it in everytime we have to move it or make room for it in a closet. I’m kind of a hoarder… It’s genetics. Emotional attachments to shit.. Oh well.
As this was my second marriage and it wasn’t fancy at all my dress came from Express. We’ve moved 3 times since then and I think it’s at the bottom of a box.
No idea what happened to the dress from my first marriage. My mom might have taken it to Goodwill.
The last time I actually saw it, it was in a pool on my mom’s bedroom floor. I believe she had it cleaned, and that it’s hanging in my childhood bedroom closet for ’safe-keeping’. Someday I’m going to kidnap it and turn it in to curtains for a baby’s room, or… uh, something. There’s plenty of fabric- the wedding industry got me there with a long, flowy nerdgasmic renaissance style dress, the likes of which I will never again wear.
I’m just smolderingly envious that you can (a) fit into it after two kids and x amount of years, and (b) still look smoking hot in it.
Keep it around. You never know; one of the boys might marry a highly sentimental girl who feels a need to honor you. Or else you can have something made of it for their wedding (ring pillow, etc.).
Mine was custom-made by a local seamstress to my half-assed design that she made real. It was lovely heavy cream brocade, tea-length, off-the shoulder. Ahhh. It’s hanging up in my closet. Maybe my dotter will want to wear it, maybe not; I dunno. I can’t throw it out, though.
My grandmother didn’t trust me to store my dress myself so she took it and had it professionally sealed. I also have two boys and unless one of them wants to wear it (not that there is anything wrong with that), I’m going to feel like she wasted her money.
Back when we got married in 2004, i’d wanted to rent a gown. my husband to be was HORRIFIED. i can only imagine his reaction if i got rid of the wedding gown. which is hanging, rumpled in my coat closet.
I bought my dress from Nordstrom’s Occasions section (fancy party dresses) for about $400. I loved wearing it, but it’s synthetic, hardly heirloom material. Finally got it dry cleaned about seven years (and two kids) after the wedding. And then I confess, I tried it on again. Oy. I have it in the closet for my two daughters to squabble over when they’re taller. I think I’ll let them put it on for giggles but I don’t expect anyone to want to get married in it.
At least pitch the shoes?
I bought my dress online from Nordstrom’s for $99. It’s in a dry cleaning bag in the back of the closet getting all dusty. I get regular use out of the shawl and shoes I wore with it, though. I’m kind of proud of that.
But, I got married in Vegas with a toothless meth-addict drinking a tall boy of Coors cheering us on from the street.
Also, Elvis was there.
Mine is stuffed in the back of a closet to be ignored for a decade at a time. I had my dress made with real silk (how stupid of me for I only wore it a few hours) and it probably still has champagne and bird seeds on/in it. I wanted to donate it to a bridal recycle program but the person I contacted said the wedding had to have been in the past 5 years or somesuch. I knew my daughter would be too big to wear it when the times comes, but I recently added a new female kidlet to the brood (and her bigger brother) so maybe she might be interested. At any rate I know I should find it and assess it to see how it’s held up over the past 14 years. Maybe I will end up posting pics and someone who’s good with a sewing machine can repurpose it…
My mother-in-law made my wedding dress, so I should have had it boxed up and preserved. But here we are nearly 10 years later, and it’s hanging in the back of my closet. It was at my dad’s house for some reason, and his girlfriend almost donated it when she moved in. I’m glad Dad intervened and brought it to me, even if I don’t take it out of the closet ever again.
Mine is in a plastic bag at the back of the closet. A friend made it for me and it is a lovely evening wear thing. I’m more sentimental than he is (though not sentimental enough to get it cleaned). Maybe I’ll fit back in it in a year or two and we can go out on the town.
My dress was a vintage off white cocktail dress that cost 50 bucks. I keep meaning to wear it again (I totally could) but I ripped the seam after too much champagne after the wedding and I haven’t gotten it fixed yet. Currently it’s in my coat closet not in a box or plastic or anything. I think it’s sweet that JB was sentimental about it. Mostly guys don’t care about that stuff. The plastic heels made me laugh out loud.
The first dress, a Renaissance type dress from a catalog, recently went to goodwill. The most recent one was a Lip Service punk rock ballgown and I will keep that dress forever and ever amen because it is Awesome.
My daughter laughed at my wedding dress and called it hideous. Since I had divorced the one I wore for, we donated it to a home for adults with disabilities where where it went into a dress-up closet.
I have no idea where the dress from my first wedding went. I never saw it after the wedding.
For my second wedding 15 years later, I wore a brown skirt and a fuzzy white sweater. I still wear both of those on a regular basis- to work.
I sold my dress on Craigslist 3 weeks after the wedding. I had it professionally drycleaned so I didn’t really make any money back on it. Sad to say it looked much better on the girl who bought it (she had actual boobs) than on me (none to speak of). I still have the shoes and wear them regularly – gold ballet flats go with many outfits! I didn’t hear any objections about selling the dress, although I get comments on the shoes occasionally.
How about having a seamstress cut it up and turn it into something you might actually wear – a shawl or something? And maybe a future daughter-in-law could carry it for something-borrowed, something-blue?
Or, you know, cutting a bunch of the length off to show of the plastic shoes in case you go with the blow-someone-in-the-back-of-a-car idea.
I spent a fortune on my wedding dress. An amount that I would be embarrassed to admit out loud. It was professionally preserved and lives in my closet. I would just like for my daughter to try it on, but don’t expect her to wear it. I LOVED shopping for, and picking out, my very own wedding dress, and wouldn’t take that away from her.
Very sweet that he objected. Mine is hanging in the back of my closet, 14 years later, and its rusting all around the applique thingies. I dunno what to do with it.
Um… I sold it on ebay. Is that bad? I really needed the money.
Yes, it was definitely worthy of being preserved and passed down. The most expensive thing I’ve ever bought- dumb young me.
And yes, now I have two daughters, so of course I go back and forth, regretting it.
But hey, I saved the veil. And like I said, I really really needed the money.
you HAVE to keep your dress! The dress my memaw got married in, has been cut many times so each child, each grand child could have a peice of that cherished commitment…your boys could have a tiny bit sown inside their shirts, or…you know if you really really like them, it could be the “something Blue” for your daughter in law to be.
Hanging in the back of our guest room closet in a bag as it has been for nearly 11 years now. I am normally ruthless in getting rid of things, but cannot seem to let it go although I’m also not doing a thing to preserve it. It is a beautiful dress and one of the most expensive things about my otherwise fairly frugal wedding. Someday I’ll probably let my daughter play dress up with it and have done with it that way.
Mine’s in a box/preserved. Sometimes my friend (who made it,every stitch) borrows it for display on shows she does. Love that. Later on, I’m guessing my nieces will get to play with it. I’ll always adore it though, regardless – so it’ll probably always end up in the box.
HOWEVER, another gal-pal o’ mine had a brilliantly done fabric on hers and turned most of the train into a quilt/coverlet for her bed and she took the heavily embroidered parts of the rest of it and made throw pillows for her guest room. I should say, she took it to a company and paid them to. THAT was a great solution. Mine won’t work for that though. Yours might?
Or donate it. That’s a solid answer too.
Mine’s in the process of being preserved. After which time it will probably sit in the back of a closet taunting me to do something with it.
Um, yeah. I totally brought mine to the drycleaner to get it preserved.
And then forgot about it.
For eight years. And two years ago when I went to go get it? They looked at me like I was completely insane, and were all “blah blah blah Chinese blah blah blah”, and I was totally screwed.
And then I saw it. The photo on the wall, of the drycleaner’s daughter’s wedding.
A lovely portrait of the girl, on her wedding day.
IN MY WEDDING DRESS.
Ah, you’ve hit on a source of looming guilt. I got married 15 years ago wearing my (now deceased) mother’s wedding dress and yet it’s still kicking around in my closet, uncleaned, unpreserved, in a ripped Jones Store Co. garment bag from 1965.
So I guess I need to find a good dry cleaner, is what I’m saying.
After my wedding three years ago, I did get my dress cleaned, at a laundromat. Now it’s in a box in the garage. I keep meaning to put it on just for fun, but…I guess I’m too lazy.
I bought my dress off the rack at a local department store. It didn’t need any alterations so lucky me. I had two boys; even if I had a daughter she’d never be able to wear it because she’d most likely be at least 5′ 9″ (I’m 5′ 4″; Hubby is 6′ 7″). It’s in the clear plastic hanging bag it came it hanging in Jr’s closet because it has the most room. I plan on selling it.
I was pregnant and looking for a dress in a hurry. My now husband went to the dress store and helped me pick one out. It sat in my closet complete with grass and cake stains until around my 9th or 10th anniversary when I thought I should do something with it.
Now, it sits in my closet in a gigantic box. Taking up way too much room. Waiting. Waiting for what? I have no idea… It’s a simple dress and I’m short. In all likelihood my 1 daughter will be too tall and my 1 son already is. Maybe down the line we’ll pull it out and marvel at how I ever did fit into such a small thing. :o)
Sold on eBay!
It is hanging in a closet in my mom’s guest room, in the bag it came in. Only because we went to her house after the wedding to open our gifts, and I removed it and ditched it on the guest room floor and put on some of her pajamas. The pajamas I gave back almost immediately, the dress I have left there over 5 years now.
But it was a bridesmaid’s dress, in white, tea-length and strapless and simple as hell, and I can’t imagine anyone else would want to wear it for their BIG DAY, so I guess preservation is not a priority!
You may say it’s a cheap dress, but I like it a lot. Good taste. The plastic heels are amusing though.
I just paid for my wedding dress over the weekend – a custom silk tea-length dress for $700 – and I haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m going to do with it after the wedding. I’m a sentimental pack-rat, so I can’t imagine that I won’t keep it…but I also don’t ever plan on wearing it again. Maybe I’ll be able to donate it or sell it someday. I just hope I don’t regret spending the money. The dress was the one thing about this wedding that had to be just so, and I was willing to shell out (within reason) for it. I hope I keep that resolve after the wedding’s said and done.
I think the ring-pillow idea is a good one. Of course, ring pillows may be completely obsolete by the time your boys get married.
Eight years later my wedding dress (the second most expensive thing I have bought in 10 years, surpassed only by my custom road bicycle) hangs in the front hall closet, in a plastic bag, still with the lipstick stain on the shoulder from hugging my mother. And it’s too big, which is better than the alternative, I guess. With no kids and no nieces, godchildren or large dogs to dress up, I think it will stay there in perpetuity. Or someday I’ll figure out how to donate it to that bridal gown charity, if I could just remember the name …
Hanging in my closet in a plastic bag. I didn’t even get it professionally cleaned after the wedding. It was a “semi-formal” in that I ordered a $400 bridesmaid dress in an off white color.
I had a traditional white lace dress with a hoop skirt. After the wedding, I had it “heirloomed”, which was having it cleaned and packed into air tight wrappings. I meant to save it for my daughter, if I had one. The heirlooming cost as much as the dress, which was $50 (it was 1962).
I had two daughters. And a son. But my marriage ended in 1979, and I thought it would probably be a bad luck dress. So I had a yard sale and put it out there for $20, and it didn’t sell, so I called Disabled American Veterans to pick up all the stuff that didn’t sell, and it went along with the outgrown kids’ clothes and toys to a thrift store where I hope someone who needed it got it for a bargain price.
Jess, that is a hilarious and horrible story.
I got married 9 days ago, in a dress that my mom’s mom wore to get married in 1951. Her friend wore it in 1953; I was the third bride the dress saw. It’s never been cleaned, only altered to fit me (shorter and much, much wider than my 17 year old grandmother). My grandmother promptle “offered” to take it back to her house for safekeeping. I don’t care if anyone else wears it… I just wonder if I should be offended that she didn’t trust me with it? Oh well… not eating up my valuable closet space!
My wife’s first wedding dress, or what I assume was her wedding dress, it could have been a dried up dead body for all I knew, hung in her closet for 12 years and then hung in our closet for 10 years before it finally got thrown out. I still wear the custom Hawaiian shirt I was married in with her.
Got married in a courthouse on a day that was 60 below zero. My husband is lucky I didn’t wear carharts and bunny boots. I wore a cream colored knit sweater and skirt outfit, I used to wear it to work occasionally. Sent it off to a charity about 10 years ago. I had no sentimental value attached to it at all, so off it went.
Mine’s in one of those professionally sealed boxes. It was a beautiful unique dress, hand embroidered, imported from Spain… I was saving it for my daughter or future daughter-in-law.
Now after 10 years, we’re getting a divorce. No one will ever want to wear it; what awful luck that would be. Damn. Now I’m crying.
Okay, your dress? LOVELY.
Additionally — my wedding shoes were 4″ lucite heels. My dress is somewhere in my closet, or maybe the garage? Didn’t preserve it and frankly (though I’m happily married) I have no desire to hang on to it.
My dress(es) (first & second weddings) are both hanging in my closet, not properly stored or what have you.
I am considering dropping my (first) wedding dress off at the local thrift shop, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet… or something.
I held on to the wedding dress I bought (and NEVER wore! because we ended up eloping) for about 13 years before I gave it to Goodwill. Although I do still have the suit I got married in, although not preserved or anything. It’ll probably be the one to go next.
My dress was purchased at a funky antique clothing store. It had been handmade for…I don’t know what. It’s white satin with a black velvet panel down the back and a strap that goes around behind the neck. It’s pretty and would make a nice “dress up” dress one day for one of my girls so I keep it. I’ve had it dry cleaned and it’s folded up in a box in the closet. I can’t fit in it any more. Sigh.
I spent a fortune on my dress at some fancy-pants boutique in Minneaplis, and then spent an additional fortune on having it altered.
The other day I found it hanging on a hook in a travel bag from the ceiling in our garage and found it was stained with beer and BBQ sauce and covered in sticker-burs from our outside Texas wedding.
I have no clue what else to do with it but let it hang there until my daughters find it many years later.
My dress went back in its garment bag the night of our wedding and has stayed there for…uh…9 years this September. Didn’t get it cleaned or anything. I keep thinking I should do something with it but hate to actually spend money on something I’m never going to wear again.
Mine’s in the stuffed in the closet category, and dude, I AM DIVORCED. Clearly I have issues with Getting Rid of Stuff. (Well, not the husband, but….) I’ve been thinking of donating it for some time, it’s just one of those things I never do.
Donated my dress to brides against breast cancer – they do fund raisers in several cities by selling donated wedding dresses. I have the photos, and really wanted someone else to enjoy the dress while it was still in style!
Both a and c. I bought my dress online for $800 and I really loved it, but just for the day . . . I have no illusions about a daughter wanting to wear it (seriously, who wants to wear their parent’s dress? they always looks so outdated). I was planning to sell it, and my husband had no issues about it – I’m sure he would have been happy to get the bag out of the closet.
But my stepmother was horrified – horrified! – that I would think about selling it. So I got it cleaned, and gave it to her, and as far as I know it’s now sitting in the back of her closet. I will admit, I do sometimes dream of having another wedding (and wearing it again) because the first one was so much fun, but I know my husband would never go for THAT.
I saved it for all of the 20 years I was married to him, and then, once I’d decided to leave, it went to Goodwill. Along with the white satin shoes with the pink satin bows on them that are SO NOT ME. And the hairpiece. *shudder* I just didn’t tell him. I did keep the silly shirts we had made for our rehearsal dinner, mine AND his, and I’m not really sure why. Maybe because they have our first names on them? Hard to say. They’re in a drawer I think. I’m not big on keeping things usually.
My dress still fits and I like to put it on and parade around the house, usually on our anniversary. My daughter loves it. I had it custom-made, a knock-off of a $2500 dress for about $500. I don’t know if my daughter will want it some day for her own wedding, but I have it, smooshed back into the “preserving” box, if she does.
Also, I think it’s sweet that JB not only remembers your dress, but that he wouldn’t let it go to Goodwill. It’s just one of those things. Keep it.
I just had to comment on your wedding. You had an inexpensive dress and hoochie shoes. SO WHAT! You have a great marriage!!! I think you did it right (IMNSHO). You had a basic wedding and worked hard on your marriage. Better than working hard on your wedding and then having a basic marriage. And that is what the dress represents. You started small and built it up to be something wonderful – like the millionaire that keeps his first dollar. Keep the dress – ask them to bury you in it.
Mine is in the exact state as yours…hanging in my closet, no protection, no heirlooming, nada! It’s a light aqua 50s inspired dress that I absolutely love. I thought about having it dyed black so I could wear it again someday, but when I suggested it, my husband almost had a shit fit. So there it stays, in the closet with a tiny lipstick stain from when I was putting it on for the ceremony and it flipped up and hit me in the face after I’d already put my lipstick on. Of course I’ve also contemplated taking it to the cleaners to get the stain removed, but 5 years later I still haven’t done that either.
I’ve been trying to sell mine to free up space. I know I’ll never be able to squeeze into it again, and no kids so I’d rather see someone else enjoy it than see it collect dust. When I asked B if it was okay with him, he got kinda sentimental too, but then agreed when I pointed out that I was storing it in *his* closet since mine wasn’t tall enough to hang it.
One of my friends turned hers into a baptism dress and also into a dress for her daughter to play dress up in. That’s what I plan to do with mine.
It’s such a pretty material! You should make pillows or something out of it.
My dress was made out of pieces from my grandma’s and my mom’s wedding dresses, so it’ll be sticking around. :) Hoping to use bits to make my daughter’s, if she wants. We’ll see!
My wedding dress was my mom’s, slightly altered, and I dearly love it both aesthetically and for the obvious sentimental reason. A friend of mine gave me a dress dummy so it’s on display on that in “my” room (the guest room). It’s a very simple A-line princess seam dress in a pretty ivory brocade, very classic, so it’s holding up so far.
You look great in your dress, and it looks like it would make a great cocktail dress if you wanted to shorten it and put some of those boob cup thingies in it for support. I love how it showcases the dragonfly on your back. But maybe JB wouldn’t want you to cut it. :P
Ha! I love this. I’m getting married in about, oh, 19 days to be exact. I bought my dress pre-owned (aka used). It’s beautiful, but I also do not develop emotional attachments to things like this, so I think after the wedding I will take it to a tailor and have it re-purposed into a cocktail dress that I may actually get some use out of :)
Damn, JB. You win at husbanding.
My mom borrowed her wedding dress from a friend, and I’m kind of sad I never got to see it. That said, I’m not the one who had to store it in a closet all those years, so who cares what I think.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about this subject and have been so glad I rented my wedding dress. I was only 19 at the time and it was a beautiful, fancy dress. It cost me $350 to rent. I was a little sad to give it back at the time. I just can’t imagine having it sealed in a big box, taking up space for the last 13 years. And yet I’m sure that’s exactly what it would be doing if I had bought it. I have a son and 2 daughters and I look forward to helping my daughters look for their perfect wedding dresses some day. And if one of them wants to rent, all the better.
I paid less than $100 for mine too. It was a bridesmaid dress but I loved it. It’s stuffed in the back of the closet and NO WAY would I try it on in front of an operable camera.
My (not kidding here) 4 THOUSAND dollar dress and matching veil are hanging in my guest room closet, unwashed and just as they were the night I took them off after our reception. I expect they will be there in their garment bag, bustier still hurriedly sewn in, until I have a daughter who wants to wear it for her wedding day or until I die, whichever comes first.
My dress was cheap and the wedding was small. I stored the dress in it’s original plastic wrap and 4 years later and one move, realized the gown had turned yellow where it touched the plastic. After reading about how to clean it, I grew bored so I never tried. I felt guilty for a while even though I know that should I have a girl, she’d never want to wear this anyway.
And then my guilt was absolved! My husband went to India and purchased a bedspred that is basically a quilt pieced together with the decorative edges of dozens of wedding saris. Indian weddings involve lots of costume changes and the women don’t place the same importance on “saving the gown”, so they turn them into beautiful quilts. I realized that saving a gown is an American tradition I’m under no obligation to observe and can freely, like you, subsist off of the memories and pictures, and rid myself of the mocking dress with yellow stains taunting me about not taking better care of it.
my first wedding dress was bought at JC Penney in the formal section for about $100. I threw it out not to long before the marriage ended–it had been in a closet that got moldy–ewww! For my 2nd marriage, we got married by a Justice of the Peace at my sisters house. I forgot my dress at my apartment and didn’t have time to drive back so I bought a skirt and blouse at the local Walmart. I was 6 months pregnant so my choices were limited. I had a black skirt and grey top. I still have them hanging in my closet and I’m still married. I doubt the husband even remembers what I was wearing that day.
The first one (the “real” white, foofy one) that I truly loved, I had professionally cleaned, but left on a hanger. After lugging it around for 6 years post-divorce, well past the point of it no longer fitting, I donated it. The second time around, I just wore a floaty, feminine top and a pretty skirt. I still wear the skirt now and then, and the blouse sits in the closet just in case there’s an appropriate time to wear it. These days, it’s all just clothes — I think I’m getting better about just taking a picture and clearing out the storage space.
Holy smokes! I just grabbed it out of the closet and tried it on and despite saying I wouldn’t do it in front of an operable camera, I did. IT FITS! After four kids (including twins), the damn thing still fits. You’ve just inspired a new blog post.
I took mine to Goodwill only mere months after I got married. I had lost 20 pounds since my wedding and I have to be honest, it was so big on me now…and it just is a reminder of how unhappy I was at that weight on that day. But it was a pretty dress!
I loved this post and your writing and thinking. Your photos prove you don’t have to spend wildly to look elegant. Of course, the shoes are covered. :-)
For my first wedding, I wore my mother’s dress. It was gorgeous with all this incredible lace and a cathedral length train. Only she wanted to tart it up a bit because when she wore it she didn’t think it had enough bling. So she sewed on another 15 pounds of beads and sequins. I’m 5 feet tall and at that point weighed 98 pounds. The dress weighed more than I did.
For my second wedding we got married in our backyard and had a pig roast, so there was no way in hell I was wearing a big white dress. I bought an Izaac Mizrahi halter dress from Target and wore silver sandals with 4″ stiletto heels. It was awesome! I still wear it. In fact, I wore it to my sister’s wedding.
My dress also hangs squashed (it may not actually need a hanger) in my everyday closet, with no preservation whatsoever. I do have two daughters, but I also have HORRIFIC memories of my mom wanting desperately for my sister or I to wear HERS, which was god-awful ugly and wasn’t going to happen. I still think mine is lovely, a lot like yours–simple and straight and classic–and if one of my girls wants to wear it, great. I can save a few bucks on a dress. But I could NEVEREVEREVER get rid of it. (I pretty much can’t get rid of anything, so I’m a lame barometer.) I try it on occasionally, and bask in the satisfaction that I can still zip it up after 10 years and 2 kids. I figure that’s worth an inch of dowel space. :)
One thought that comes to mind with this post is my Mom never kept her dress, my Dad died when I was two, and I have no photos of their wedding. I would have loved to have had touched her dress, or even seen it.
Also, (happy stuff here) I never met my husband’s beloved uncle who died about a decade ago. His widow made a quilt for us as a wedding gift, incorporating his uncle’s favorite flannel shirt. I love that quilt.
So I guess my point is life is unpredictable and if I leave early I want my loved ones to have something I loved.
That being said, my dress, preserved in box in closet. Spent more on the preserving than the dress. But damn I had a good time at the wedding and it got FILTHY :)
My dress is hanging in the back corner of our closet. It’s my one cat’s favorite spot to sleep. It doesn’t have any sentimental value for me- it was the first dress on the bargain rack at David’s Bridal that fit well and I could afford. I’d actually hoped to do what you did- just get a nice dress at a cheaper store, because $400 being CHEAP for a dress WTH? I do kinda wish I’d gotten the $800 one that I fell in love with so I could pass it down to whoever wants it.
Mine is stuffed in the back of the 3rd bedroom closet. But since it’s an 8-month’s-pregnant maternity dress, I can’t imagine that my son (should he choose to be married in a dress) (not that there’s anything wrong with that) will want this particular heirloom.
I still have my dress, it’s preserved in a box that’s stored in my basement. I only wore it one time, and well, I know for a fact that it won’t fit me now but that doesn’t really matter to me. I held onto it thinking maybe I’d have a girl that would want to wear it for her wedding, but I have two boys so that didn’t work out as planned. And who knows if ’she’ would have wanted to wear it anyways. Maybe my boys will want it for their future wives, or maybe a niece of mine might want it. I really haven’t given it much thought until I read this post! But obviously for whatever reason I haven’t been able to get rid of it, I’m sentimental like that I guess.
You’re hilarious as usual and you rock that dress.
Off topic, and know you’ve passed your octopus phase, but stumbled upon this on ebay, thought you would get a kick out of it.
http://cgi.ebay.com/Exquisite-Hand-Blown-Glass-Octopus-Very-Beautiful_W0QQitemZ350210715596QQcategoryZ152904QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp4340.m8QQ_trkparmsZalgo%3DMW%26its%3DC%26itu%3DUCC%26otn%3D5%26ps%3D63%26clkid%3D7015194241760162649
I spent a whopping $350 on my dress and I still love it. Simple, off white and elegant…I will never regret getting married in that dress. But, it sits in the bottom drawer of my dresser…I KNOW. I don’t have any daughters that may wear the dress one day but I do like the idea of taking a piece of it to sew into my boys’ wedding day suits. Kinda fun to try it on every few years to see that I can still pull it off, too!
Agree with the first commenter. A friend of mine founded this org. Czech it out!
http://princessproject.org/
They say they want post-2005 dresses but your dress is gorgeous and I’m sure someone would love it even if it was made before 2005.
My dress was preserved by a fancy-dancy textile company in New York and was returned to me in an acid-free box, via Fedex and included white cotton gloves meant for wearing when I remove it from the box and carefully unfold it, once a year, as recommended by the preserver to ensure wrinkles don’t set.
And now it’s sitting in that same box under a spare sofa in my mom’s basement. I do hope it’s dry down there.
But that’s not my point. About eight years ago, I was cleaning out my closet and I put the shoes I wore on our wedding day in the “donate” box. My husband promptly returned them to the bottom of my closet with much the same response as JB’s. I teased him for about two weeks for the somewhat uncharacteristic sentimentality over shoes.
A few days ago, I was cleaning out the same closet and found them…there was more than a small part of me that was happy he saved them from the donation bin. We just had a daughter, our second child, and I think I’d like to show them to her someday.
I did the unthinkable-I rented mine. A gorgeous designer gown with lightly off the shoulder drapes, fitted, beaded bodice and puffed skirt with long train and draping bow at the back. I know, I know, what disneyland movie did I just step out of. However, it was the best $300.00 dollars (12 years ago) ever spent. Even included dry cleaning and now it is taking up space somewhere else without guilt. I should add, at my bridal shower I was not interested in pretty lacy things–I asked for a leaf blower and lawn mower. Priorities!
So funny you wrote this! Just today I took out my wedding dress and put it on just for the hell of it.
My dress is stored in a plastic storage container under my bed. I really don’t like my dress, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of it.
38 years ago, I bought my dress at a small bridal shop….didn’t cost all that much and it was pretty. I never had it professionally cleaned and boxed, and I believe it is in a plastic tub down in the basement. Daughter played dress up in it when she was small, along with my other prom dresses. The netting on the headpiece has pretty much disintegrated and the dress has yellowed, but I will never get rid of it. And, since I weighed a whoppin’ 120 pounds (at 5′7″) when we got married, I haven’t fit in it for approx. 35 of those 38 years. Well, maybe my arm can squeeze in there but that’s about it! :)
I’m with JB, don’t get rid of your dress! It’s a memento of the beginning of your lives together and it doesn’t hurt a thing to be hanging in the closet.
My mother paid to have it preserved in a box and was annoyed to find out that I use it for dress up with my girls (who are the same age as your boys). I don’t envision anyone ever using it again, but I just can’t let go of sentimental things.
I tried to list mine on Ebay to recoup some cash, but my husband wouldn’t hear of it. So it sits, in the plastic from the dry cleaner (I heard preserving isn’t great for dresses/the environment/lazy people), taking up half of the one closet we share. Every once in awhile my cat sneaks in and makes a nest-bed in the bottom, just to let it know it’s still loved.
I love my dress. Simple, but beautifully embroidered fabric. I don’t presume my daughter will want it, but I am holding on to it in case I want to make it into a short cocktail dress (not out of the question). Also considering a crafty something or other — like using it to line a shadow box or to cover a photo album. Options for you, maybe?
I just think it’s unbelievably sweet that JB wants you to keep it. And you definitely should.
I think it’s sweet that your guy wants to keep it. It’s also cool that you can still wear it. I think you should keep it and make a tradition of going out every three years (or going in, with candlelight and a special dinner) for the rest of your lives together.
I think mine is in my mother’s closet where it belongs. I never cared for it anyway, kind of felt like the whole wedding got away from me. Not that I am bitter 10 years later (much).
I never even got my dress dry cleaned. It hangs in my husband’s closet taking up his space.
Both my dress and my partner’s dress are sitting in our closets in the garment bags they came in. Never cleaned, not neatly stored, and moved to five different homes since our wedding. I don’t know that we’ve even opened the bags since we put them back in there. Oops.
JB’s reaction is SO SWEET! You are the luckiest woman! Bless you two!
Well, WOW! Gotta say, boob stickers or no, you look pretty damn good in that dress :)
My wedding gown is hanging at the back of my closet, un-cleaned. I doubt my son will ever want to wear it for his wedding ;) so it will likely sit there many years to come (it’s spent 8 years there so far!)
I *do* take it out every anniversary and try it on, though. I took pics on my 5 year anniversary even though it was a bit tight. The way I figure, if I can still cram my body in there, I’m doing okay weight wise. I’m happy to say that it’s been loose the past couple of years :D
I don’t exactly know how mine is hanging but I do know that my mother-in-law has it. I have my veil. I don’t know where it is though. I got rid of the shoes about 5 years ago.
Spent over $100 to have it professionally cleaned and preserved. I think it is in one of the boy’s closets (I think).
I have two sons, so it doesn’t look like it will be passed down. I vowed never to try and push 30 year old crap onto my daughters in law like my MIL does.
So basically I spent a bunch of money for nothing.
Wrapped in dry cleaning plastic (not that it was cleaned…) and on top of photo boxes and other keepsakes in my cedar chest. So, squished and wrinkled and shoved to the side to get to photo books on a regular basis…
Wow, I’m not married so I don’t have a wedding dress storage tale of woe but I literally laughed out loud multiple times at this and probably will laugh again.
Professionally preserved, in a box, which is somewhere in this house. It’ll probably be re-purposed some day or tossed, who knows.
I love your story and the ensemble, especially the hooker shoes.
I am the anti-hoarder. But I would never throw out, give away, purposely fuck up my wedding dress. It wasn’t expensive, it was an off-the-rack BCBG ivory bubble skirt knee-length number – but it’s my wedding dress. Always room in the closet for that.
I bought a ridiculously expensive dress from Kleinfeld’s in Brooklyn, so it is professionally sealed and stored in our attic. Whenever my husband sees it he goes crazy about how do we know it is really in there?
We have to trust some things! My mom had a beautiful wedding dress that she donated to a blind girl (so the story goes!) to wear on her wedding day and I was always sad that I didn’t even have the option to try that dress or use part of it or whatever. So that is part of the reason why I had it stored – no one has to wear it, but I do think it would be nice to have the option or it cut up or somehow have it repurposed.
OF course, I have two boys, so not sure anything will ever be done with it…but you never know…
Not only do I still have the dress from when I married my amazing husband in 2006 – I still have the dress from when I married the amazingly CRAPPY husband in 1999. Clearly, I have trouble letting things go. (I have worn the second dress since, though – as it’s a kick-ass Chinese silk cheongsam, I can get away with stuff like that.)
Love the photos! What a great idea.
Mine is hanging in my mother’s basement and I just know she is going to make me take it home someday.
I do feel like she should store it since she picked it out and also would have a fit if I threw it away. I don’t think my husband would care–he isn’t sentimental–but I guess I don’t know.
I do have a daughter but since my mother made me feel so guilty for not wanting her dress (I am five inches taller and have a different build so it wouldn’t work) that I do not want to do that to her.
And the preserving thing is a racket–when I used to work bridal we would find out all the time that the preservation would ruin the dresses.
I love your dress (and the dragonfly tattoo I didn’t know you had!) but, to answer your question…sort of…
My Mum got married in an inexpensive blue dress (back in the 60s, but still) not a wedding dress, just a nice blue dress. Quite pretty. She didn’t keep it.
This chokes me up all the time. When I get married I probably wouldn’t have worn the dress, but who knows. I’m certain I would have used the dress as part of my wedding, maybe as a something blue or have it turned into a wrap or something. I feel denied the opportunity to carry on a family legacy.
My Mum says she had no attachment to it and didn’t see why anyone in the future would either.
As her only daughter, I disagree.
I wish she’d kept it. But, I’m a girl so I’d bet my brother hasn’t even thought of it! ;)
I’m so ashamed to admit that 8 years later – mine gorgeous dress is crumpled in a bag on the top shelf of my closet….not cleaned and still with champagne spilled down the front. I think I start to sweat everytime I think about shelling out the money for the cleaning/sealing thing – but I really should just bite the bullet and do it already. I just can’t get rid of it for some reason!
Mine’s been hanging in a closet in a dress bag for 16 years. It’s so over-the-top early-90’s, with giant shoulders and a zillion pounds of beads, that I can’t imagine anyone ever wanting to wear it. That said, my mom’s empire-waist dress with simple lines from 1971 is back in style. My daughter will probably end up getting married in a gap-time where neither dress will be usable, but if she doesn’t, I HOPE she can wear my mother’s dress. Mine was just something we bought at a store. My mom’s eighteen-year-old hands sewed every stitch of hers.
I bought mine used from a lady you could sell it back to after you were done. Then the wretched lady said I’d made too many alterations to buy it straight out, it went back to her on consignment and I never heard from her again. If you live in Utah, avoid Fairy Godmother’s! It is a scam! But when I see the costs as a rental fee for a temporary use of a dress for a pregnant plus size person, well, OK, whatever. I live in small old fashioned houses where closets are an afterthought and I always knew I’d never have spare space to store a dress I’d never wear again. My four year old duaghter is totally mad that I didn’t keep it so she could play with it and she has properly told me off for not keeping it around, but honestly, I don’t miss having to care for it one bit. Zero regrets.
i myself am not married, but my sister was just married last saturday. while doing various wedding preparations for her wedding, we did take out my moms dress. (which was stored in a box in the attic–which is only accessible by removing shelving from the linen closet i kid you not–so you can guess how often thats been looked at over the past 30+ years) it was kinda fun to prance around wearing it (or bake cookies, as my sister did) in all of its 1977 winter wedding glory (high neck, flowy sleeves tight at the wrist), but other than that its been sitting in our attic in a box for the past 30 years. i dont even know where it is now.
my sister is getting hers cleaned and then i have no idea…
her friend who was married in february didnt even bother with the cleaning and just threw hers out. that seems kind of an unceremonious ending to me, but also practical.
im a fan of the “trash the dress” pictures where some people have put theirs on and taken some amazing professional pictures of them in their dresses on the beach, in the water, etc. THAT seems like a more ceremonious ending to me…
Your dress is lovely and looks lovely on you. My dress was hanging in the closet collecting dust until my husband insisted that I take it to get it preserved. I really have no emotional attachment to it myself. Which is not to say I’m not a sentimental person-I am. But my husband has a much stronger attachment to it than I do, which I have to admit is pretty sweet. It is currently in the box they put it in when they preserved it and I have no idea what I might do with it.
I was engaged in college & picked out a dress at a high end bridal shop for $3,500 and it seriously was just white, strapless, straight down, zero embellishment. I guess money does buy boring classy things. That engaged was called off, so I lost the $1,300 I had put down on the dress, pretty sure that $1,300 was from a student loan or something too, classy. Second engagement, selected a hideous dress for $1,200 that covered every inch of my body and was the least sexy thing I ever picked out…needless to say that engagement tanked for obvious reasons. 3rd and final engagement was the wedding and 7 yrs of married bliss. The dress was $700 from David’s Bridal and I loved it, so fantastic, with that front swoop to make you look like you have a tiny waist and then it was low cut in the back and swept to the side. Funny thing is, I can’t stand my back, I have a bunch of moles & scars from various childhood adventures & climbing through Huckleberry Finn berry bushes etc…anyway, I picked a dress that revealed all of my self-conscious areas and never felt more gorgeous (or had more fun) than on that day. Dress is stashed in my in-laws closets since we live in a teeny CA bungalow with zero closet space but I still love it and hope to dye it black or some other rad color and wear it on a cruise ship or something….
Mine is in a garment bag, at the back of the spare room closet, along with the cloak I wore over it. (snort) Yeah, I went for a Lord of the Rings sort of theme on my wedding day. I’m sure one day I’ll get use out of the cloak again (fancy dress/kids parties etc) but the dress…oh well, who knows. I think you’re right not to get too sentimentally attached to dresses – after all you can’t take it with you when you die. Heh.
It is tradition in my family that the bride’s dress has a small square of fabric from her mother and mother-in-laws dresses sewn in – even if it’s just inside the hem.
I have an awesome photographer friend so I proposed arranging a big photoshoot with all my friends’ in their wedding dresses, running on the beach, just laughing and being us. And if we can’t zip our dress up, all the more funny I think. I want photos of my dress holding on for dear life and seams about to burst. HA!
I gave my wedding dress (very cheap one from a sales rack) to my friend who was having a yard sale. We were moving across states and I was so happy to have one less thing to shove in the car. I am not regretting it.
Seriously….mine along with the 5,000 bridesmaids dresses and prom crap were being stored at my moms house. I think she gave it to goodwill or salvation army….I am not sentimental when it comes to big puffy,satiny shiny dresses!!
One of my friends is having my dress altered to wear at her wedding, complete with a train to trail behind her wheelchair. The dress will be ruined and perfected.
Gave it to the Salvation Army for another larger boned woman to wear who can’t afford a dress of her own. I also have 2 boys who probably won’t want to wear a dress on their wedding day!
Mine cost $50 at Dillard’s. My shoes cost $80. It drove me nuts that I spent more for the shoes than the dress so I returned the shoes and found a pair in the clearance room for $26! Just last weekend my kids were playing dress up and I pulled my dress out of the closet (just hanging there collecting dust) and were it. My daughter wanted to wear it so I gave it to her to wear. As I’m writing this I just realized I never got it back. So I’m guessing it is now laying in a tub of dress up clothes :)
And I do think it’s way sweet that JB cared if you got rid of it. He’s one of the good guys. But don’t tell him I said that :)
Aww. I kind of <3 that he wants you to keep it. :)
As for your Qs, we gays are not allowed to marry so no wedding dress for me!
My wedding dress is preserved in a box in the closet. When I got married, my mother (a seamstress) made me a slip & a garter out of her old wedding dress, so I could wear her dress. (She was 90 pounds when she got married, I was about 40 pounds heavier, so yeah, didn’t fit.) Maybe I could do something similar for my daughter or son – make part of their wedding ensemble out of my dress. I just can’t bring myself to donate something my mother made for me!
It’s sweet JB wants to keep the dress & hooker shoes.
My dress from my first wedding is somewhere in storage at my mother’s house. I no longer have any sentimental attachment to it, but don’t object to her keeping it in case my girls ever at least want to see it (since their father burned our wedding pictures during the divorce). My second wedding was in the backyard of our house, in jeans. Yes, I still have the jeans and the shirt I wore.
Am I the only one who likes to pull the gown out of the back of the closet for Halloween? Voila – instant princess costume! (and yeah, I’m the only girl in the house, too, besides the dog and chickens. A yearly opportunity to feel semi-glamorous.)
I was married on the beach in Costa Rica. After, for our wedding photo’s, we played in the surf, so it got covered in sand and sea water. When I got home, I crumpled it into a ball and tossed it into our dry cleaning bag figuring, I’d see what they could do with it. It came back with a note “damaged beyond repair.” But I still love the dress so its just thrown over a hanger in the back of my closet somewhere.
My (now ex)husband threw my dress out with the trash in a fit of rage over who knows what.
Mine’s in the back of a closet, in a bag. I want to have the lace overlay made into my daughter’s veil for her 1st communion.
I’m totally impressed that you could wear your dress. For me to get into my wedding gown now, I’d need to lose 15 pounds and do something about these hips that seem to have appeared after I had a baby!!!
in the closet in my old bedroom at my parents’ house…not preserved, but i keep saying one day i will host a new year’s eve party where everyone has to wear their wedding gowns…just waiting ona couple more friends to get married so they can participate :)
Wedding dress, what’s that???? :)
She was 4 months along when we went to the JP and formalized things, with her 3-year-old the only other one present.
We were properly rewarded when the baby in question presented us with an unexpected grandchild, 26 years later. Fortunately, the male example has held (I am still with Her, and my daughter’s lover is a wonderful dad to the grandbaby.)
I’ve purchased a wedding dress for our 4th, and she might even wear it. After that, I don’t much care what happens to it…
Beautiful dress!
My $100 dress is sitting in the closet inside the plastic carrying bag, which is where I hung it three hours after my wedding 7 years ago. My husband wants to keep it have me make it into pillows or something.
I would rather cut it up and use the material to make preemie outfits for stillborns.
The original silk wedding dress I paid a high-end designer in NYC to custom create? The lady hand-sewing the beads 3 weeks before the wedding dumped coffee on it.
So I went to one of those giant wedding-dress warehouses because I needed a size 4 off the rack like, NOW. And because I was disgruntled and bitter about dress A (a slender sheath dress) I decided to go for the opposite style and bought the hugest ball gown they had.
It weighs 17 pounds. No shit. But oh, it’s beautiful–a sparkly fitted top with layers and layers of toule. It wasn’t gaudy-poofy, just… Cinderella. I had it professionally cleaned and because it’s larger than a VW Van, in storage at my parent’s place until we buy a house.
Mine is preserved in a box in my basement. My daughter will never wear it (she’s on track to be taller than me by age 12) but I think that the fabric could be used for some other purpose at some point. I used my mother’s lace wedding gown to make a baptism gown that my brother and I have used for our kids and was really happy to do so. So it’s basically being saved for something similar if that’s what my kids want to do someday.
My mother-inlaw made my dress. It was a peace offering and major concession on my part. ANd she was thrilled.
She is a very good seamstress but just didn’t get the design and kept pushing it in the wrong direction. I was determined to just let it be a momwent between us and let it go. She bulldozed right over my carefully worded and meek protests.
In the end, the dress looked off and I didn’t love it.
I have it hanging in a garment bag. I can’t throw it out and I can’t imagine passing it on to my daughter.
And I don’t feel that I can ever talk to anyone about why I dont’ love it.
And in the end, I’m not sure that it was any help in getting a better realtionship with my mother-in-law.
My dress is still in the dry cleaner’s box. It’s moved with us five times. It doesn’t take up a lot of room, so I’ve kept it. The dress I bought during my first engagement (not the guy I ended marrying) went to a consignment store. I have my mom’s dress in my hope chest. It’s very simple; she made it when she was twenty, in 1963. I never considered wearing it for my wedding, but I’m glad to have it, especially since she had passed away. I think about all the love that went into that dress, her marriage and our family every time I look at it.
I had mine perserved and it is in my spare bedroom closet. My mom made it, so it is special because of that. She also made all of my homecoming/prom dresses all my years of highschool, so I have those saved as well. Even though no one will wear them I still want to keep them because she would stay up till 3am the day before the dances sewing away because I decided I wanted a black dress with no sleeves instead of a red dress with sleeves.
I forgot to mention when I posted about my dresses, that when I gave mine away, I threw out my mom’s dress. It had been preserved, but when I was about 16 I dug into the box and tried it on (too small for me even then, but lovely and simple). Somehow I ended up being the one to lug it around with me for years after I left home (my folks were long-since divorced and she certainly didn’t want/need it, and none of us girls ever wore it — though we did wear her veil, given to her from her dad). The dress hadn’t aged well, either.
So to preserve the memory of her dress and happier times in their early life together, I cut off all the fabric-covered buttons that went up the back of the dress. I certainly have room in my jewelry box for 20-30 buttons, maybe to tuck into mementos for all her grandkids someday on their wedding days.
This topic brings up another idea — what about jewelry? Anyone have handmedown jewelry? I have my grandgrandmother’s ring, full of very delicate opals — lovely, but too delicate for me anymore (loved it when I was a teenager!) I wore my mom’s GORGEOUS emerald and diamond ring (and wedding band) in my first marriage– loved, loved, loved it, but now view it as somewhat bad luck. I had the diamonds taken out and turned into studs that I wear every day (where else am I going to get diamonds that big?), and had the emerald mounted into a pendant — but I never wear it. Not sure why I can wear the diamonds but not the emerald. I’ll hold onto it for one of my girls or a niece, I suppose. Have been tempted to sell it, too.
Mine went to goodwill a few years after the wedding…I got it for a steal at david’s bridal and figured someone else could get some use out of it.
But then, I’m not the sentimental type…
ps–my marriage is still going strong ;)
Oh I was so sad when I read your post. I’m a really long time reader/lurker/ and have never commented that I ever remember but oH!! please dont get rid of your wedding dress. I inherited my Grandmother’s (my father’s mother) wedding dress 2 years ago and it is my most treasured posession!! It holds all the family love and memories of my Grandma. You TOO will be able to make someone THAT happy with your wedding dress some day too!!!
Its a symbol, not a knick-knack.
I didnt read all the other commments before posting but I so hope you decide to clean it and store it so that some day, a family member will lovingly stroke the fabric and all loving memories of you will come flooding back!!
Our wedding was over four years ago now and my dress is still just hanging in the back of our closet. It is covered in plastic, but certainly not sealed or protected… not even washed! Granted it was a fairly inexpensive white bridesmaid dress. I don’t think anyone will wear it again, though perhaps something could be done with it :) I don’t have the heart to part with it just yet.
Funny you should mention it because my wedding dress on Craigslist… first $150 (OBO) takes it and the skirting that goes underneath. I thought my dress was pretty but I want my daughter to have her own memories and enjoy picking out her own dress. Her older brother? I don’t think he’ll want to wear it. Hubby agrees, it should go to its new home.
Mine is sitting in the basement closet at my mom’s house, uncleaned and unregarded. I was trying to do my wedding as cheaply as possible, and it was in the midst of a lot of family upheaval and fighting, and mom and I reconciled long enough for her to insist that I needed a Real Dress and to pay for half of it before we fought again and I had to pay for the other half. (Thankfully all that is behind us now, although traces of it probably linger on my credit card somehow.) I married in 1998, apparently before they had cute dresses for women of, ahem, larger carriage, so it’s big and poofy and long-sleeved and while it has its good points I don’t know what the hell to do with it now.
Oddly enough, I know enough about fabric preservation to clean the thing myself and do a decent job of it, but then I’d have a *clean* white elephant and that’s not really any better.
The Bon?!? Wow, that takes me back in time!
My dress is preserved in a box and stored in my parents house as we have no space in our apartment and my mom was aghast at the “humidity in the air” at our storage unit.
I am not sure how long I intend to hold on to it. I doubt my husband and I will have kids since we’re both getting close to 40 (eek) among other reasons. Plus even if I do end up with a daughter, I can’t imagine she’d want to wear it. Fashions change drastically through the years – as noted by my mom’s shock when looking at dresses with me “Wow…none of them have sleeves. They all had sleeves when I got married!” (and she had long sleeves at that!) Plus it’s a drop waist gown, and a bit different, so not something that would be considered a classic.
Then again, there is the sentimental fact that it is my wedding dress. I have only been married a year – maybe in a few years I’ll decide to part ways with it. For now, it’s safe where it is. :)
Mine is in my closet, just hanging there, unwrapped, as if I might decide to wear it to work one day.
I walked home from my wedding in a borrowed bikini top and bottom after swimming until 5am with the majority the wedding guests.
I left my wedding dress on the pool deck.
It was, luckily, recovered and sitting in a closet (how’d you like to be THAT hotel guest?), but now I’m wondering if it matters as much.
My dress is in a box in my closet. Saving it for my daughter, if she wants its. I think I’ve looked at it once but still love it.
your dress is beautiful and i think it’s really sweet that JB wouldn’t let you toss it!
i’m happy to hear so many didn’t have their dresses professionally preserved. i planned to do mine, but it’s been in it’s original garment bag, crumpled at the bottom b/c it never stayed on the hanger, shoved in the back of my closet since i finally took it off around 4am the night of my wedding 6 1/2 years ago. maybe someday, but right now the thought of paying $150 to have it cleaned and preserved…not gonna happen. Besides, it’s a plus size and if i ever have a daughter, i really hope she’s healthier than i was and can’t fit into it.
Mine was “preserved” and is in this big box with a clear plastic window that looks disturbingly like a small coffin. Every time we move I think it looks like we are carting a body along with us. My two girls are young but already taller than me, so unless knee-length poofy velvet is all the rage when they get married, I’m dragging this thing around the country for no good reason. Plus my eldest will probably get married in sweats and basketball shoes. But I won’t ditch The Dress ’til my mother dies, since she’s the one who had it preserved and obsesses over whether I’m taking proper care of it.
1st wedding dress.. no clue where it ended up.. divorce ~
2nd wedding dress.. beautiful purple velvety number I wore to our very small wedding at home then I cut it up and made into my medievil overdress for our larger ren reception we had a few months later!
I totally love the idea of pocket squares for the boys on their wedding day ~ AND two hankys for the brides.. for their something blue!!!!
There ya go! Surely JB would agree to that? Leftover material… make some sort of art work out of it.. or pillow slip cover… together with JB !
Yep, still have it in a closet (9 yrs and counting), not preserved with stains on the hem. My mother made it (and all my prom/dance dresses) so I feel I have to keep it for that reason. Other than that, I’d love to give it to someone else if they liked it.
I also thought it’d be fun to do a photo shoot of “trash the dress” but apparently that’s no longer cool.
i think mine is in the basement storage closet slowly acquiring the stink of a basement and nearby kitty litter boxes. I also bought mine at a “prom dress” store, and cost me about $130. Probably doesn’t fit anymore, but then again I haven’t tried it on. My shoes were white flip flops (we eloped to Hawaii) with rhinestones. I still have them and they are more grey than white now, but I do wear them around the yard, etc.
I think a) your dress ROCKS b)JB’s reaction is totally sweet c)gravity is a bitch, ain’t she?
Hang on to it for a few more years if it isn’t taking up much-needed space, and then try again. Or who knows? Maybe you will come up with a cool use for it and can snip it up/reuse. Pillows could be fun if they go with your decor.
I love my dress. LOVE. It’s hanging in a garment bag in our basement. When hubby’s tinkering down at his workbench in the basement, I put it on and sit and talk to him and feel beautiful. This frequently happens after I’ve watched too many episodes of Say Yes To The Dress. I wear it a few times a year. I love my dress and our wedding. We know we can’t recreate that day, but I can wear it and remember fondly. I would have a trunk of dress up clothes if I could justify the expense, so instead I’ll just have to make due with Best Dress Ever.
I think your dress was awesome…and you looked even better in it in 2008 :) My dress went to the dump (at the hand of my husband) the day I was packing to move into my own place because I was leaving my husband. It was just a separation and two years later we got back together…but I don’t regret getting rid of it. I just wish it could have been donated to someone who could have used it rather than tossed. Who knows…maybe some homeless woman has gotten years of use out of it!
I think mine is in the bottom of my mom’s hope chest in their attic. I’d prefer it stayed there. It wasn’t anything fancy and cost $50 and $50 to have it dry cleaned. it was only worn by bridal models. it would have made a fun dress-up gown for my girls, but I didn’t need to store that.
You do look great.
Sneek it out one day. space is a premium.
When I got married, my husband and I were broke graduate students in Berkeley, California. I had not two dimes to my name.
I borrowed a book called “Teach Yourself To Sew” from the Berkeley Public Library. I bought a needle and thread and taught myself to sew, page by page.
I chose a short, Donna Karan shift dress pattern. I practiced with cheap muslin, and then, when I was ready, I used ONE YARD of pale yellow silk shantung from the remainder table for $10 to make my very tight, very short, dress. By hand. It took weeks.
I made myself a necklace and earrings, by hand, using seed pearls from a local bead store.
I got my shoes from a local thrift store for less than $20.
Meanwhile, some guy whose dog I voluntarily walked every day (I like dogs) decided to thank me with a $100 gift card to Nordstrom. I bought my stockings, bra, and panites there for considerably more than the cost of the whole dress + shoes + jewelry.
I cut my hair myself.
That was fifteen years ago. I actually looked really good, judging by the pictures our friends took. I can still fit in the dress, but I would never show acres of thigh like that in public any more.
The dress hangs in a garment bag in my closet as a testimonial to my determination and inventiveness, if nothing else.
Mine is folded up and stuffed into a shoebox, sitting in my closet where it has been for the past 7 years. I never even had it cleaned. Originally I thought I would have it cleaned, repair the tear in the hem and then sell it. Clearly, that is not going to happen.
Oh, and my wedding shoes? Get this: our cat peed on those the day after the wedding. SYMBOLISM? WHAT SYMBOLISM?
So many responses! I only got married less than a year ago, and it hangs in a dry cleaning bag in our closet. Not preserved, or cleaned. We were supposed to do an hour shoot after the wedding w/ our photographer, maybe in August? I guess I should see if I can squeeze into it, since last time I tried in June, I could get into it, but the last inch of zipper would not give. I guess the girls have gained some weight? I don’t even know.
Very sweet that JB wants you to keep it, but I am planning on donating mine after I’m done with the August shoot. I would sell it, but it has a nice hole in the back from when my new husband stepped on it, ripping out the bustle and making a nice lil hole. Oh well!
It’s been “cleaned & preserved” and sits in a box under a bed in my mom’s house. It’s still dirty from my husband stepping on it all night and there is a small hole where the bussell ripped, again, when he stepped on it. I would love to have it made into something, a christening gown maybe. However, I have one boy and am pregnant w/ another, and we are done after that. So, chances are, nothing will be ever be done with it. Maybe if I have really awesome daughter-in-laws that want to use it for that someday….
Huh, I read this and got this wierd sense of deja vu… and then realized I’d answered a similar question over at Swistle’s blog recently. (http://swistle.blogspot.com/2010/07/reader-question-decluttering-wedding.html)
Because I can’t possibly be so clever twice, here is my recycled answer:
I never got why people would keep a dress when they could just re-sell it not long after the wedding while it’s still in style.
I got married in 2003. GUESS WHAT’S HANGING IN A BAG IN MY CLOSET RIGHT NOW?
In my defence, it’s an A-line in a luxurious peau-de-soie fabric, without a lot of embellishment, and has spaghetti straps, so I could easily see my daughter using it by either wearing it or using the fabric.
I hemmed mine to knee length so I can wear it again (it’s a sheath dress, so not very “flouncy”). Unfortunately, for the past 4 years I have been either pregnant, breastfeeding, or losing pregnancy weight after stopping breastfeeding, and therefore I think it has only fit for about a month within that time period. Plus, I have a toddler and a preschooler, and we all know that leaves TONS of opportunity to go out in fancy cocktail-type dresses.
But, I haven’t given up hope. Or the dress.
Someday….
What, no pics of the shoes? Mine still has grass stains on it…..ohhhh yeah!
My mom made my dress, and I should probably have it cleaned and stored, but it’s in the closet at my parents’ house. I can’t imagine getting rid if it, even though nothing short of a breast reduction is gonna get me into it ever again.
My dress is hanging in my closet too. Unprotected,uncleaned, and I’ll be darned if that thing didn’t just shrink over the years. I tried it on about 5 years ago and the damn zipper wouldn’t come up. Weird.
Anyway, if I had thought of it in time, I would have had someone use the fabric from the dress and turn it into 2 little Baptism outfits for my boy-girl twins.
Now I don’t know what I’ll do with it. I will likely save it for my daughter to use for her wedding either as it is or use the fabric to create something of her own.
Mine is hanging in the closet. It has never been cleaned. This kind of terrifies me as there are um, organic, stains on it.
Sadly, I have no idea where my dress is…and I’m afraid to ask about it. I loved my dress, I felt so beautiful in it and I’ll probably never look so beautiful again in my entire life.
Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t last and the divorce was terribly messy and it even led to an extremely rocky relationship with my parents for quite a while. Last I saw the dress, it was hanging in a garment bag off the closet door in my parents’ office. After not talking to my parent for a year after my divorce, the dress is no longer there and like I said, I’m afraid to ask them about it…
I donated mine to Brides Against Breast Cancer. It hung in our closet for a yr and I never preserved it bc I didn’t want to get it cleaned. We had our photo shoot outside so there were leaves stuck to the bottom of it. BABC clean it for you and we got a big tax write off! Funnily, my husband was not upset at all. Now, I’m hoping it wasn’t something I just didn’t notice. Doubtful but I’ll ask him in the morning. :)
I told my mom to just hang onto it a while and I’d take it when I had room. Of course, I will leave it at my parents’ house for eternity.
Some friends of mine get together every year and do the Bride Float down Some River in Alabama. They don their bridal gear, drink a few beers, float down the river for a spell, then go eat some barbecue. Last year they raised a whole bunch of money for breast cancer research. I’m so going next year.
We had a super small informal wedding, and I wore a dress I already owned. It now sits in a box in the attic full of other clothes that are too big.
Don’t throw it out! One of your kids might want it made into something for his wedding.
Mine is preserved in a box with a little clear window so I can still gaze at it. :) It’s sitting in our basement as unfortunately the box is a smidge too tall to fit under the bed. Storage convenience fail.
I should also add that the pastor that married us had a stole (that he only wore for weddings) made from lace or fabric from his mother and grandmothers’ wedding dresses. During the ceremony, he wrapped it around our joined hands. It was a nice symbol for us.
I’m glad to read that I’m not the only one who never had her dress cleaned after the wedding. Mine is hanging in its garment bag in the guest room closet – the bottom still filthy from walking through parking lots. I wasn’t happy with my dress anyway, plus I only have a boy, so I don’t even know why I’m hanging on to it.
Linda, I love your dragonfly.
When I divorced – I cut my wedding dress into a million pieces and burnt it in the fireplace and cried like a baby.
You look lovely! Then and now.
I swiped a sari from my mother’s closet to use as my wedding dress. It’s in my closet now, and it still fits, only because 6 yards of silver-embroidered silk will always fit if you wrap it loosely enough…
I wore an off-white hippie dress (in 2002!), and it’s hanging in my closet, even though I’ll never wear it again, except maybe for an anniversary party or something like that. I doubt I’ll ever have a florist re-create the Mother Nature floral wreath for my hair again, though. WHAT was I thinking??
Still have my dress, but didn’t get it preserved until it was done by the insurance company after a fire in my kitchen (we were out of the house for 3 months!) I doubt that my daughter will wear it; she is on her way to be tall and thin, the polar opposite of me. However, my mom didn’t have a wedding dress per se, and for some reason, that makes me want to hang onto mine all the more.
I had my dress dry cleaned (not preserved in any way) and then I sewed a bag to put over the hanger and it is in the back of my closet. I haven’t looked at it since I got it back from the cleaners… and I KNOW I’ll never wear it again. my hope is to make my son’s bar mitzvah tallis out of it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kristinluna/4785211437/
Kristen over at Camels and Chocolate found the answer, I think. A little snip, a little cut, etc…
One thing the preservers never tell you is that they actually shrink the dresses.
That’s the only rational explanation as to why mine will never fit again.
The first dress, my ex-MIL bought for me – without me even having seen it. I was 19 and afraid to tell her how much I hated it. It was absolutely hideous, but extravagantly expensive. Giant poufy leg-o-mutton sleeves that I had removed, crystals dropping off of it everywhere – ugh. It was professionally cleaned, and still stored in my in-laws guest room when we divorced a year later.
The dress I wore this time? A simple, black a-line dress from JC Penney that I wore with a blazer when we got married at the courthouse on a Thursday afternoon. I’d picked the dress out the night before, and was six months pregnant with our son and it was the only thing that fit. I don’t even have a single picture of me in it – but I never regret not spending a ridiculous sum on a dress I will never wear again. The memories we made that day are far more important.
I have one b/w picture of my parents standing on the steps of NY city hall on the day of their marriage. My Mom says the suit she was wearing was a pretty blue–I’ll have to take her word for it; she says she had to get rid of it because fireworks caught the skirt on fire! I wish she had saved a snippet of the fabric at least, so I could see the color of blue she said it was.
My own wedding dress was just a fancy day-dress, for my own (color) pics standing in front of city hall…
I’d personally love it if it were my husband who were the sentimental sap, and not me for a change. It would be nice to think that there’d be something he clung to like that for memories. Alas, he is just not the type. But I still hold out hope that maybe once we have kids, he’ll become attached to some random object like I always find myself doing. :)
Gads. Mine was professionally (and expensively) cleaned and stored in an archive quality special dandy cardboard wedding dress box with a clear plastic window so I can see it. When I choose. To pull it down off the closet shelf it barely fits on.
Yeah. Not sure what I’ll do with it long term. It was pretty plain, strapless, (supposed to be) floor length (except I’m tall so it hit my ankles), ivory, three ivory satin ribbons at the waist (maybe one at the hem). It’s not like I’ll ever wear it again, but I’ll probably hang onto it.
My dress is in a paper bag in my trunk. I keep meaning to take it to be cleaned and whatnot, but I just don’t….to be honest, my dress was a great deal at $75 on clearance at J. Crew (and very pretty, though plain as all get-out) …. but strangely doesn’t hold sentimental value for me. Other things from that day certainly do, so I’m not totally hard-hearted. :)
Back of the closet! Have not worn it since! That was sweet of the hubs to get upset…
Mine is hanging in my closet. I take it out every few years and spin. I know it’s silly. So what-it still fits. I’m also secretly hoping one of my girls wants to wear it, maybe not for their wedding, but for something.
i wore a cheap $29 polyester dress from sears,bought at the last minute. i think we ended up using it to wash our bad ass trans am a few years later.
Sold on ebay, immediately after the wedding.
I am so glad I am not the only one whose dress is stuffed in the back of closet, unpreserved and uncleaned. I feel guilty everytime I look at it! I can’t seem to get rid of it, though. Right now I am saving it for my hypothetical daughter.
Awww … he wuvs you!!!!
I’m a long-time single gal who’s okay being single, but I think you’re very lucky to have a partner who loves you so much that YOUR DRESS matters. I’d be a tad jealous, but I’m happy for you and think you deserve it. :)
In the back of the closet, still dirty from the reception. 7 years ago.
I took mine to a seamstress and made a christening gown out of it. Sheesh I had so much satin on my dress she made the gown and an accompanying blanket.
One of the BEST things I ever did. Both my boys wore it at their baptisms and hopefully someday all my grandchildren will wear it too.
Mine is hanging in our guest room closet, and the accompanying HUGE ASS train is in a white plastic bag. On the floor of the closet. I think my veil is on a hanger with a plastic bag over it?
I won’t be having any daughters, and have no idea what to do with that dress. Though I’ve got some good ideas from some of your previous commenters, thanks!
What a great topic (and FTR it’s great that you still fit into yours AND look fabulous, not like a sausage) –
Mine is hanging in my closet in a garment bag. Not preserved. It was about $1500 after the veil and tax (from La Belle Marieé in Kirkland). It was the FIRST dress I tried on, even after trying on countless others, that was the one. My mom bought it for me (married 9/04).
My mom died in 2008, 3 months after I had my daughter. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of it, because I still remember my mom’s face in the 3 way mirror behind me when I tried it on.
Plus my little daughter; maybe she’ll want some part of it one day. Although I have my mom’s old wedding dress boxed up in the garage, hideous 1960s tulle disaster. Mine is MUCH cuter, I’m sure my daughter won’t feel the same about my dress as I do about my mom’s. Right??? ;)
(ps – Sundry, have you ever been to Country Village in Bothell? If you’re ever there, make your way to the back, to the Courtyard Hall. I think they’re still using our wedding photos for their advertising… just a random, you can know that girl is one of your readers)
Glad you posted this. We’re getting married in 2 months and this made me discover he prefers I keep it too. No “trash the dress” shots for us I guess! :)
In case you need to offer to blow a guy for a dime bag of coke!! I almost died laughing.
Yeah, mine’s shoved in the back of the closet. Never even had it drycleaned.
[...] July 27, 2010 by Ginny First of all, go read this. [...]
I rented my wedding dress. I don’t think a lot of people do that, but I did just that 10 years ago coming up in Feb 2011
Just a few weeks ago I tried on my wedding dress – a knit-wool mid-calf long-sleeved ivory creation with a smudge of dirt on the shoulder that I bought off the deep discount rack at Saks Fifth Avenue nearly 23 years ago – and it still fit. I had needed a dress that didn’t require any sort of needlework to make it fit because I was getting married just a few days later (long story, but very romantic!). I was very pleased that it still fit, even if it was because it was a knit fabric and, therefore, stretchy. There were many moth holes in it. And then I remembered that my husband had long ago thrown away his suit. I really had no problem tossing that dress in the trash. I still have the pictures, and the dress looked much better in dim light than it did in full sun!
It just so happens that I was doing a little cleaning of my own this weekend and stumbled upon my daughter’s christening and commmunion dresses. I remembered thinking that I was going to have them professionally preserved just like my wedding dress. It has been 20 years and so just to remember what “professionally preserved” ment, I pulled my wedding dress out. Yep, I would do the same for my daughgter’s dresses. However, the price had now tripled. O.K. so I would do it myself. Find a an acid free box, etc., etc. Anyway that’s how I stumbled upon this sight. I have had my wedding dress sitting in my closet, professional preserved, for 20 years. It will soon be joined by 2 other dresses. When I took it out to reminisce and showed my daughter what a precious heirloom she would someday have, her comment was…”Mom that dress looks so 80’s. Besides, I think I’m going to get my own.”