I was in a neighborhood Walgreens the other day and there it was, an entire half-aisle of autumn decorations. Thanksgiving items, to be specific. Leaf-themed votive candles and pilgrim-shaped salt and pepper shakers and turkeys and bulging horns-a-plenty.

I did not, in fact, drop to my knees and release a window-shattering howl of despair, but I can assure you that the only reason I resisted this action is because I’ve seen those Walgreens floors. No human knee or other uncovered body part should ever encounter its MRSA-laden surface.

Still. I kind of hope whoever’s in charge of their merchandising schedule gets a pumpkin rammed up their ass this fall. Screw you, drugstore seasonal display, it’s still summer and it’s going to STAY summer until I goddamned well say it’s not.

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Comments

34 Responses to “Seasonal denial”

  1. Melissa on August 16th, 2010 1:27 pm

    *nods*

  2. Courtney on August 16th, 2010 1:30 pm

    Dude, I woke up on Saturday morning to 48 degrees, rain, and a report of snow in the mountains I can see from my bedroom window. BIG middle finger to mother nature. Take fall and shove it, lady.

  3. JennB on August 16th, 2010 1:35 pm

    I like the 2nd picture. I can just imagine the caption: “Kids, I’ve asked you a few hundred times to let me finish my book” !!

    I love fall. Just for the record. However, I do not love it when it’s still fucking AUGUST. Mother nature’s not pushing it the damn retailers are. I’m sure when I go to Costco later this month they’ll have their Christmas decorations up.

  4. Marie Green on August 16th, 2010 1:36 pm

    Yes, YES, agreed. See also: swim suit displays in January (which is a v. v. depressing reminder of just HOW FAR summer is away, and kinda cruel.)

    We’re soaking up every last drop of summer, too.

  5. saly on August 16th, 2010 1:38 pm

    AMEN! It’s been face-melting hot this summer, but I will take it over the cold and snow any day. Autumn is my favorite season, but I am just not there yet. Once we go to the beach…then I’ll be ready.

  6. Emily on August 16th, 2010 1:52 pm

    I love that Dylan has his shoes on. Buck nekkid, but everything’s cool ’cause he’s got shoes on. Give him a clipboard and a TPS report and he’s ready to run an office!

  7. Valerie on August 16th, 2010 1:56 pm

    Please know that the entire state of Texas is green with envy for your impending fall.

    http://weather.cbs11tv.com/US/TX/Dallas.html

  8. Amy M. on August 16th, 2010 1:58 pm

    I agree for the most part, but I’d be okay with an overnight frost/freeze to kill the giant flock of mosquitoes around my house & all the ragweed.

  9. pam on August 16th, 2010 2:00 pm

    Shit, easy for you to say, when you live somewhere that doesn’t have a heat index of 115 degrees with a jillion percent humidity. I say BRING IT ON to the fall.

  10. AndreAnna on August 16th, 2010 2:06 pm

    I know you guys up there had a cold, rainy start to the summer but here it’s been like a zillion degrees with Assface percent humidity for like six months, so I am SO ready for fall.

    That being said, in that last picture all I hear is “Now, now Dylan. Put your teeny weenie away for story time.”

  11. Nancy on August 16th, 2010 2:32 pm

    Hmm. I get that way with every holiday EXCEPT Halloween and St. Patrick’s, but thats because I get absolutely insanely giddy over them. I have a serious anticipation for the Halloween stuff they’re going to put out after Labor Day weekend. I have to get to it asap before it gets picked over when the sane people decide its time to shop for it. LOL

  12. MRW on August 16th, 2010 2:33 pm

    No kidding, especially since this summer in the NW has been a total piece of shit. My kid’s been swimming a total of about 5 times because who the hell wants to swim when it’s 68 degrees and misting? Summer is supposed to be our reward season here. So far our reward has been a big dog turd. Bah.

  13. TinaNZ on August 16th, 2010 2:39 pm

    And from your Southern Hemisphere readers… YAY summer’s coming!

  14. Eric's Mommy on August 16th, 2010 2:49 pm

    THANKSGIVING!? They even skipped over Halloween? I love the fall and I am looking forward to it but it’s still summer, come on!

  15. Kim on August 16th, 2010 3:47 pm

    I live in the heat/humidity but in no way am I ready for fall.

    The nekkid picture of Dylan just sent me over the edge laughing.

  16. Judy on August 16th, 2010 5:00 pm

    It’s always that way in the stores. Infuriates me. I live in Florida, where it is hot and will continue to be hot until, oh, late October at least, and even then it’ll go into the 80s every day and I have even seen people running on the beach wearing jogging shorts with their Santa hats at Christmas.

    This weekend my son went out to buy a new pair of flip-flops. None to be had. He went to nine stores before finally finding some at KMart. Because, it’s time for fall clothes, you know, despite the fact that it’s 95 with 90% humidity and we can easily wear sandals up into December or January or even all year in a mild winter.

  17. Claudia on August 16th, 2010 5:06 pm

    It’s been the hottest damn summer on record and yet I still don’t want it to end. THat said, I am very ready for school to start because our routine will go back to normal and I won’t have to pay someone to entertain my kids all day.

    Also – love the NAKEDNESS!

  18. Dawn on August 16th, 2010 5:13 pm

    A. What Valerie said.
    B. Dollar Tree this week had their front aisle done up 1/3 Halloween, 1/3 Christmas, and then 1/3 Thanksgiving. Tacky and weird.

  19. H on August 16th, 2010 6:58 pm

    Seems like summer gets shorter as I get older.

  20. Jess on August 16th, 2010 7:40 pm

    i miss your links to the other blogs you read? Will you be putting them back on your blog?

    Jess

  21. Linda on August 16th, 2010 7:42 pm

    Jess: they’re here. Just click the “links” tab up at the top.

  22. Dana on August 16th, 2010 8:09 pm

    here on the east coast of hell, my daughter walked out of the door into the 3 o’clock inferno and said: “it’s burning hot like an oven.” and she was right.
    i try not to complain about the weather or rush seasons but goddam i’m ready for summer to end.

  23. agirlandaboy on August 16th, 2010 8:41 pm

    The leaves here are CHANGING COLORS. And we haven’t even had our summer yet. It’s 60 degrees and overcast every damn day and the leaves are red and gold and ARGH it’s not fair. Come Sept. and Oct., though, I’ll be begging for cool-breeze mercy.

  24. clover on August 16th, 2010 11:32 pm

    at least he’s wearing shoes ;)

    Looks like Rebecca Stevenson isn’t having any commercialized autumn forced on us. Been enjoying our 90+ degrees? I’ve cocooned the back of my house around the window a/c unit — it’s ugly, it’s dark, but it’s coooooool

  25. Tia on August 17th, 2010 6:29 am

    HA! Glad to see I’m not the only one taking naked shots! We just downloaded 250 pictures off the camera and it’s very clear to us now that we shouldn’t have bothered buying the boy summer clothes :)

  26. sheilah on August 17th, 2010 7:16 am

    Here where I am we are just waiting for the cool breath of fall…*sigh*.

    Though I do remember the wonderful summers in Seattle, short though they may be. You still have half of August, all of September (which is usually a surprisingly wonderful month in the NW) and then sometimes a wee bit of October before the winds howl & the rain comes.

  27. Jennifer on August 17th, 2010 8:15 am

    Ahaha! Love the censor oval.

  28. Christine on August 17th, 2010 8:48 am

    Seriously, the pre-season marketing drives me up a wall.

    That picture of Dylan though helps make it better. Naked baby in sandals? So awesome. He looks like he should be a statue over a fountain.

  29. Jessi on August 17th, 2010 9:57 am

    Living in Minnesota, we appreciate the summers. But people STILL complain when it’s 90 degrees. HELLO, it’ll soon be negative 18, shut up about 5 days of 90!

  30. Sonia on August 17th, 2010 11:14 am

    My kiddo is water-logged, as he’s spent 6-7 hours every day in our neighbor’s beautiful pool. It’s hard to imagine that summer is already coming to an end, when it JUST began! :( I work in a little boutique, and just yesterday unpacked boxes of Halloween decorations, and a few Christmas ornaments. We’re not displaying them yet though!!

  31. Amanda on August 17th, 2010 2:59 pm

    SO there with you. I nearly passed out when I saw the Christmas ornaments up in the Hallmark store in JULY. JULY!!!

  32. Renee from GA on August 17th, 2010 7:07 pm

    If I lived in a more reasonably terperate clime I might agree. But it has been so ridonculously hella hot and humid this summer I have wanted to die on more than one occasion. Please, God, bring on the fall!

  33. Renee from GA on August 17th, 2010 7:08 pm

    terperate? TEMPERATE. GAH.

  34. Kim on August 19th, 2010 5:53 am

    I’m with Valerie – here in SC we’re literally counting the days until we get some relief. It’s all relative though; I’m sure I’d be feeling the same way you are if I lived there. But man I’d sure like to find out for sure someday.

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