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Sep
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Oh man, you guys. You have no idea how much I have been DYING to share this news with you. The last month has been crazy in terms of sudden new opportunities, budget-wrestling, life-balance agonizing, and everything else that goes with such a major life upheaval.
Here’s the deal: I’ll primarily be writing ongoing posts for The Stir along with some corporate work. I’ll be doing this from home while juggling kid-wrangling, because this is the last week of the boys’ daycare. Three days a week, our wonderful babysitter will be coming from 1-4 in the afternoon to watch Riley and Dylan, and I’ll scoot off to a coffee shop or wherever I can poach some Wi-Fi.
There are a lot of questions I don’t have answers to yet. I will have daily deadlines that I’ll need to meet, and I need to figure out how to do this without relying too much on Yo Gabba Gabba. I know I will slowly go crazy if I don’t have any adult interaction EVER, and the kids need socialization too, so I need a plan for getting us out of the house and interacting with actual live humans. I need a schedule, one that can be flexible enough to accommodate unforeseen problems but structured enough so that I don’t completely morph into this Oatmeal comic.
We decided to wait on starting Riley in kindergarten this year, so I had to think long and hard about whether it was the right thing to do to pull him from preschool. (His daycare is a care center and school combined.) And Dylan, for that matter—they have both done really well in their classes over the years. Under my new salary, I can’t afford to keep sending them there even part time.
Maybe I will find a less expensive preschool somewhere down the road (although as long as we live in this area it seems doubtful), but for now they’ll be home with me. The idea is that school—the homeschool variety—is going to be part of our new routine too. I don’t have much to say about that yet, but I’m hopeful that we can figure out the time management, and that the inevitable frustration is tempered by fun. I hope that it ends up being a great opportunity to connect with my kids and enjoy the last of their little-boyhood.
I have no doubts whatsoever that all of this is going to be really, really hard, in a lot of different ways. But I’ll tell you what, goddamn if the very best things aren’t always hard as hell.
Priorities have shifted all over the place, and I won’t be going back to school in the fall like I’d planned. Winter, probably. I will slowly but surely chase down that dream, no matter how long it takes.
I still dream of a career helping people reach their fitness goals. I want to get our house sold and move to Oregon. I want to write a book. I want to do a lot of things, and my road seems wider and more beckoning than ever before. This isn’t my forever, this is my new right now. And it is so, so much better than my yesterday.
For that and so much more, I want to say thank you. Thank you so very, very much for reading and being part of our lives. Without you I would not have this opportunity, and that is the absolute truth. The words aren’t enough, but I want you to know: I am so incredibly grateful.
Now, my dear friends. The comments are open for all kinds of advice, because I would love to hear any and everything you might want to share about surviving being at home full time, figuring out schedules, avoiding hermit-ness, keeping kids happy, not collapsing in a pile of your own personal filth, and so on. Next week a new chapter of our lives is starting, and I am so happy to be sharing it with you.
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I have no advice or comments, other than I think you are awesome.
I am so excited for you, congratulations for taking that first leap off the cliff. It will be scary and wonderful and challenging and, ultimately, rewarding. Learn to fly, Linda! You have a big fan over here on the East Coast!
My envy may kill me today but I am so happy for you.
Congratulations on this very exciting time!
As for suggestions, find every free kid-related day time activity you can. Then you can schedule getting out of the house without opening up your wallet. For home school resources, try second hand book stores. My local Half-Price Books has a home school section with a wide variety. Good luck to you and your family.
Congratulations on taking the steps to make a better life!
Some friends of mine, marriedwithluggage (dot) com, are radically changing their life and have blogged about some creative things they did to sell their house in the Seattle area. Maybe some of their tips could help?
Congrats on the Big Huge Change!
I don’t work from home now, but when I did, the Most Important Thing for me was make sure to leave the house for SOMETHING every day. A trip to the grocery store, a walk to the park, a picnic with a friend, etc. If I didn’t schedule that stuff in advance and hold myself to the leave-the-area-once-a-day standard I would have hermit-ed myself and gone weeks before noticing I hadn’t left the house. Schedule things in advance!
Do you have any libraries/parks-and-rec programs/public pools in the area? Those things are free and would get you and the kids out of the house and around other people. Aim for the free stuff. It might take more searching, but it is probably there, and is more budget-friendly than, say, joining a formal kids’ gym or something.
Congratulations on the big step you took! I hope it all works out for you.
I also wanted to say that as far as helping people meet their fitness goals, seeing your successes inspires me to keep working toward my goals. Each time you post about your fitness journey it pushes me a little harder.
I admire you for taking this step Linda–unfortunately I have no advice for you, as I determined a while ago that working out of the home is probably the best thing for me and the kiddos (plus, my line of work does not lend itself to working from home AND being the primary caregiver). I’m sure the transition will be hard, but it will be so worth it. If you can find the courage to jump into the unknown, I’m positive you can find the balance in your new schedule. Good luck!
Ok, now I’m really waiting for the parenting poetry book even if you self pub. I’m convinced a volume of your poems would be the most perfect new parent gift ever.
As for advice…do you follow any homeschool mom blogs? I don’t homeschool but often find interesting ideas for how those families structure their days. Angry Chicken, Melissa Wiley, Pioneer Woman and Soulemama come to mind with varying amounts of homeschool stuff in each. Am way too lazy to link, sorry.
Congratulations and Good Luck on the new endeavor. I tried homeschooling out of necessity for preschool, hated it and while I was so happy that life dictated that I spend more time with my son, I was Even Happier when life dictated that I let someone else handle teaching him.
I stay at home full-time with my 3.5 and 1.5 year old boys. The public library here is full of almost DAILY free kid stuff to do… Storytime, craft projects you can drop in on, etc. It’s a great resource and, oh yeah, did i mention? it’s FREE! Congratulations to you and your family – i think things are going to really take off for you!
If you can swing it, I am going to plug Co-Op preschool. You would have to commit to one day in the class (it’s only a couple hours) and a meeting once a month. The tuition is low because the parents work in the class. You get early childhood education credit through your local community college. You get to meet other parents in your area with kids your kids’ age.
Been reading your blog since Riley was born, mostly as a lurker. But I just have to de-lurk to say HOLY HOT DAMN CONGRATULATIONS.
My advice is only this: find a song that you find strongly personal and motivating. Have it with you, ready at a moment’s notice. Because there will come a time (for me, it was always scrubbing toilets in particularly nasty houses) when you will want to collapse and say “this is too hard!” and you’ll want to stop.
Listen to that song. Remember what it meant to you when you first heard it, and what it means to you now. Don’t feel cheesy about finding motivation from music or lyrics. That’s what the author/performer hoped for when they created it.
Find your center, and keep on keepin’ on.
xxoo
I work from home full-time, as a journalist, so I do get out-and-about for interviews and such. The biggest piece of advice I can give is to get showered and dressed the same way you would if you were going into work. It’s not to say you can’t wear yoga pants every day, but for me, at least, there is something about that morning routine that puts me in Work Mode.
Also, I would highly recommend that when you are done for the day, be DONE. Don’t be checking your work email at the dinner table; this is a super bad habit of mine and I really need to stop. If you need to catch up after the kids go to bed, by all means do so, but don’t try to parent/make dinner/etc. while also trying to work.
In any case: Good luck! I am sure you will do great.
My husband works from home and juggles kid-wrangling part-time (my son is starting kindergarten and my daughter goes to pre-school part-time). His basically philosophy is, you HAVE to get the kids out of the house every day…even if it’s just to the grocery store, the bank or Home Depot. And, unfortunately, some days there’s a lot of TV involved and some days he just can’t get anything done until the kids are in bed.
I think you are on the right track with a schedule. I’d also highly recommend a list of things you aren’t willing to give up. Freedoms like running (without the boys), time away with your husband (even if it’s just to go on a walk or grocery shopping) or whatever else is important to you.
The other thing I’d highly recommend is that when you have your 1-4 time period, make sure as much of that as possible is spent doing the work that gets you paid. It’s so easy to use that time to catch up on email or Twitter or whatever other gems the internet has in store for you but if you are going out of the house to write, you should spend that time writing.
You could also look into a childcare trade which is a free way to have more time for working/writing.
My secret (free) childcare is the kid’s play center at the QFC in U Village. I drop off my daughter sometimes while my son is in school and then I can write or work at the Starbucks right in the store.
Congrats on living a life more in line with who you are. It will have challenges AND you’ll never regret it.
Dude. I am so happy for you. And since my advice will (finally!) fall into the Solicited catogory, I cannot control myself.
I am a homeschool mom of two kids, and my husband works from home full-time. So I know a lot about being at home and being surrounded.
The first thing I’d tell you is that it might be a big period of adjustment for everyone, so don’t freak out if the kids ramp up their naughtiness or clinginess or whatever their go-to behavior is when things change. Remind yourself of that and don’t let that self doubt creep in.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do a lot of formal schooling. You didn’t say if homeschooling is a long-term option for you, or if it’s what you are doing until you get your New Life situated. Either way, feel free to email me and I will support you in any way I can. Then cut yourself some slack and try not to stress about it. An amazing amount can be done in two 20-minute sessions a day. I know, it seems unreal, but you aren’t wrangling 30 kids, you’re wrangling two, and one of them will learn just by osmosis.
Third – pat yourself on the back, because you are ROCKING this whole pursue-your-dreams thing!
I’ve got absolutely no advice, but I am so happy for you and can’t wait to read about this adventure in awesomeness. Please let us know where else you’re writing when and if new things come up!
I’ve been reading your blog for ages, but not sure if I’ve ever commented. Wishing you all the best on your new ‘now’ – CONGRATULATIONS! Can’t wait to hear how it all shakes down. :)
I can’t wait to hear all about this transition.
I would echo the advice some other people have posted and say try to find as many free/cheap kid activities as possible (library story time, parks and rec, free museum days, etc) and build your day around those activities.
First, I have to say that I think it is so awesome that you’re actually living the life you want instead of just talking about “someday”. I’m jealous. My cousin works part time and has a 2 year old son. Shes had a mom’s group since he was born. It was mostly them getting together for play dates and adult interaction. They’re just started a “co-op preschool”. One day a week, each mom takes all if the kids into her home from 9-12 and does a lesson, craft, outside fun time and lunch. So each mom has 4 free mornings a month and they all need to plan something for one day a week. It seems to work really well. Maybe there are other moms looking for something like that in your area.
I’ve been working from home as a freelancer for three years now, and I agree with the person above who said you need to find a reason to leave the house almost every day, even if it’s just a walk to the park. Also, I’ve found that I absolutely need to get ready/change out of my pajamas/etc every day without fail, even if I don’t happen to be going anywhere, because it just destroys my mood and productivity if I don’t.
Good luck to you! You inspired me to go back to grad school this fall in addition to working from home, and I thank you for that.
This post made me tear up. You are so amazing. I wish you and your family nothing but the best in this new adventure.
Wishing you all kinds of happiness, and if I wasn’t already an avid reader of your blog this new adventure would have me hooked all over again. I can’t wait to see where you go from here!
The Pioneer Woman has a section on homeschooling, with several contributers who offer different perspectives:
http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling
She and the other bloggers have done several recommendations of curriculum, for several age groups, for several different kinds of households. Not just for ranchwives, either, I promise. I don’t even have kids, and I want some of the stuff that has been featured over there.
Again YAHOOOOOOOO!
My husband and I both work from home. I have to ditto an above poster who says getting up, getting showered and ready makes a big difference in attitude. Personally I like to get up before my boys get up so I can get some quiet time. I drink my coffee, read blogs, write my blog, answer emails.
And the night before, I always put together a to-do list for the following day. This helps me stay organized.
Good luck, I”m sure you’ll figure it out and share with us along the way!
I am so proud, and excited, and amazed at this choice you’ve made. It sort of makes me tear up, and giddy, and terrified for you all at the same time.
Congrats on doing what makes you happy instead of what is the norm.
You give me hope that my life wont always be defined by my LESS than exciting 9-5.
If I could hug you, I would.
I was going to say the same thing as Meghan (the journalist) above. Get into a routine, which in your case will also mean getting the kids up, breakfast, get dressed (sure yoga pants are fine, just change out of your PJs) as if you were heading out the door. Also, be DONE when you’re done. The “Loss of Regimen” in that Oatmeal comic was me all over. When we moved to B’Ham and I was working from home for a large company, I was working at all hours of the day and night and actually getting less sleep and less exercise than when I went into an office.
I have some ideas also for money-making ventures for you (including some computer-related ones having to do with helping people take advantage of Wordpress as a CMS on their own websites); I’ll email you after your initial “getting settled in” has calmed down.
Congrats! You will find as a mother our careers morph into different things as your kids grow up. When I was a stay at home Mom, I always got the kids out of the house…improved everyone’s mood. And remember it is more important to enjoy the kids and chores will be there later.
I am so inspired by your choice!
I want to support in anyway that I can. Could you maybe tweet links to your posts at The Stir so I can go there. I use Google Reader for most things, but I know that every click helps.
Whoo-hoo!
Lots of good advice here, but what I can offer is GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EVERY DAY.
Except when you don’t, of course, and when you don’t, don’t beat yourself about the head because of it. Fighting the current is hard enough.
Find a place with wi-fi AND stuff for the kids to do. We have a coffee shop nearby with a kid’s play area. Also, Chick-fil-a (do you have those out there?) has playplaces, decent fast food, classical music, coffee, and wifi. It’s pretty much working-from-home-mom-heaven.
I feel like we are the best of friends even though we, well, aren’t. Does that sound weird? Anyway, I am just so excited that you are sharing your journey with us all and oh my god, am I ever happy for you! I stayed at home until my little guy was about 18 months and it IS hard to make sure that you don’t get sucked into a Pajamas-All-Day-Long hole. You sound like you know the types of things you need to do–playdates, going to Starbucks to write, a babysitter 3x’s a week–and I think that’s perfect! I wish I had more advice but I don’t.
First, congratulations! It takes an enormous leap of faith to make these kinds of changes in your life. I know, because I started my own business a few years ago, and have been working at home ever since. For me, it’s nearly impossible to do my work at home with the kids around, although there have been plenty of days when I have. Your attitude is right on, though: this is what’s going to work for you and your family now. Reevaluate as needed. And don’t sleep with a Blackberry on your nightstand ;^)
No words of advice really but I just wanted to say congratulations! How exciting!
I’ve been juggling children and at-home freelance work for a few years (and some preschool). My advice is get out to see your friends when you can: if your friends have kids then it’s instant playdate for moms and kids.
As for home-schooling, keep it simple. Show the kids your interests and let them show you theirs.
XO
Rachel
I have no advice or comments, other than to say I think you are brave and awesome. What you are doing is scarier to me than swimming with sharks or shitting in the delivery room.
Good luck, I know you will rock it.
Yes, it is going to be hard. But you know what else is hard? Sitting in traffic for eleventy jillion hours a week, and doing a job you hate, and missing your kids, and not accomplishing the things that make you mentally whole. So you’re used to doing hard things. Now, though, you get to do hard things that give you the life you want, and the accomplishments you want, and the awesomeness you want. You can totally do this. And you will. You rock!
I have no words of wisdom for you. I am way beyond my little children years but I can tell you one thing: I have been a long time reader simple for the reason that I LOVE the way you write! So I have no doubt that you will succeed in whatever you try to do! Good luck and God bless!
I think you’ve already given yourself the best advice, which is to think of this as “right now” and not “forever.” When making big changes, it’s tempting to imagine your decisions will affect you entire life from here on out, and while that may be true to an extent (it’s all part of the journey and whatnot), you don’t necessarily have to stick with your plan if it turns out to be a bad one. That said, GOOD LUCK!
Awesome news. Babysitter is a must :).
I can’t agree more that the very best things are hard hard hard…my husband and I both faced unemployment at the exact same time and it was SCARY. But you know what? We both HATED that company. So although we were scared shitless of the unknown, we are so much better off now! Thankfully my husband found a job and I’m not able to stay home with our 23mo.
I don’t really have any tips, because I definitely wouldn’t call myself an expert in staying home, but I do agree getting out of the house is important. And showering is important because no matter what the shit is going to go down that day, you’ll feel at least a little better because you are clean. ha!
Each week our library puts on a story time hour where they read several books and do counting exercises and then have a puppet show and its all free. So we do that every week. We also do a Little Gym class each week.
As for me, two days a week my husband goes into work late so I can go to the gym and workout and then he meets me at the gym with the kiddo and I go run errands or go home from there.
So anyway, like I said I’m not expert but hopefully this gives you some ideas :) You’ll definitely figure it out as you go!
*meant to say “I’m NOW able to stay home with my 23mo”
My heart’s flying up there right along with you. You know I’ve never managed to stay in one place too long either.
Definitely get out of the house, and that might mean taking both kids to an open gym in the mornings to wipe their asses out. Our Y has a great one for $5 a kid, and it’s only 40 minutes, but I’m counting on it to keep me sane these cold winter mornings that we don’t have something formal.
I like Meghan’s idea in theory, but I will say that for me, wrangling Sam and writing part-time isn’t enough, so there are lots (LOTS) of evenings that I’m burning the midnight oil just to make deadlines. It happens, but as you said, for us, this is a RIGHTNOW solution, not a FOREVER solution. (We’re going balls to the wall for some real estate goals/necessary life changes)
Shower every day — I do my showering at night, that way I can use my morning time to actually do my hair and throw on makeup and decent clothes. And yes, I do that every single day. I never wear my pajamas, i never skip the routine of getting dressed, even if we don’t leave. It makes me feel better, and I dress Sam, too.
And yes, get out every day. Now, I’m guessing that you, like me, are looking for free-ish things (or at least on the cheap), so we go to the park, the play center in the mall, a friend’s house or some relatively inexpensive activity (gym, the Y, etc.). The library, too, is a must for us, and I’ve been rotating around the libraries in the area for a change of pace. :-D
You’re going to get burnt out. You’re going to be working at midnight, and you’re gonna be PISSED and you’re gonna be wondering if it’s all worth it. And you’ll wake up the next day and do it again, feeling the same way. And then one day, you’ll be listening to that kick-ass song Sarah Lena smartly recommends you have on IMMEDIATE PLAY, and you’ll feel a little better. And then a little bit better. And then a lot better. And then you’ll feel great.
It comes in cycles. The hard ones are never forever. They will pass. It will be okay. And it’s worth it.
I worked at home for seven months in a 400 sq foot rental cottage, no kids, but an aging golden retriever underfoot. I was in a brand new marriage and a brand new town (a village really, no coffee shops or wifi!) but what worked for me was NOT getting showered and dressed until my work was done (approx 4 hours per day). I would get up, coffee, sit at the desk and work. When I shut things down at about noon, I then showered, got ready and got out of the house. I know it will probably work differently for you with the kids and schooling and stuff, I think my point is that you will find what works for you. Maybe take it easy for a few weeks and track your days instead of trying to implement a schedule right off the bat, you may find patterns emerging that naturally work well for you.
OY, I love giving advice. Cheers, congratulations and girl, you rock!
Kath
If you’d like a guinea pig on the helping people reach their fitness goals front, I will volunteer to let you kick me into shape. Regarding homeschooling, we’re using “Five in a Row,” which is sometimes preachy but is very flexible and easy to use.
I am so impressed at your courage in this. You’re awesome!
I work at home with my preschoolers, too, although they do go to our church preschool a few mornings a week, in summer I have to juggle them AND my work. Some ideas:
I have a loose structure for the day, i.e, breakfast, then playtime, then activity, then errands, lunch, “quiet time”, another activity or outside time.
Each day of the week, I try to find SOMETHING to take the kids out to….the park/playground, the library, a playdate, etc, so we leave the house every day. You’ll go nuts and the kids will watch too much TV if you don’t.
I second the recommendation for The Pioneer Woman’s homeschool info. She’s awesome.
I am not a homeschooler, but my little ones were extraordinarily interested in hawks and raptors this summer, so we spent all summer doing different things around that theme: backyard birdwatching, paintings, library books, etc. Theme-based learning is easy to plan and a fantastic way to work some education into the day.
As comfy as it is to slouch thru the day in your jammies, when you get up, get dressed and ready as though you were going to work: shower, clothes, makeup if you wear it, read the paper, do coffee, etc. Then get on with your day. You’ll be more productive if you treat the day like a workday.
I find I end up working after the kids go to bed, sometimes, and sometimes I sneak off to work when my husband gets home and can keep the kids. It’s a trade off for being there all day for them, and I don’t mind. It does take some getting used to — that your ‘workday’ may end up being little bits of time all day long.
You’re my hero. Congratulations on taking the leap and putting yourself in control of your destiny! I can’t wait til your book comes out! :)
Love the tips, you guys. And Scott, thank you. I’m going to re-read that over and over, because YES.
I am so glad that you share your life with us. You are an inspiration!
I lost my job in Oct. 09 and have been home since, other then a crappy contract job I took for 4 months. I make more money on unemployment right now then I would if I found a job. Eventually when that runs out I have to go back to work. My biggest thing is routine, now that Eric is back in school we have more of a routine but the summer was crazy, we didn’t do a lot. Getting out of the house and being around people is important.
I have no advice to give because I have only been home full time for the year after each of my 2 kids were born and I about lost my mind! I think the greatest thing you have planned is some time for yourself to get away and focus on work or, you know, spend 3 hours on You Tube, whatever. For me, that would be my sanity. Good luck! I think you will find this will be the best thing for you and your family, overall, just maybe not in every moment, but is anything, really?
What has saved my sanity is the group of moms I’ve found to hang out with. It took forever, but I’ve finally found/created/developed a great group. We get together once/week as a formal “playgroup” for the kids (but really, it’s for us), but we see each other often other times- dinner, weekends, spontaneous afternoons, etc. We also swamp kid-watching back and forth and I’m telling you, it’s a LOVELY way to raise kids- with 5 or so friends to call on if I need childcare for 2 hours on Wednesday… So that’s my first survival tip: FIND YOUR PEOPLE. It’s worth the energy, the time, etc.
Also, our winters are brutal, so we get together at the library or in each other’s homes. I used to care how clean my house was; I don’t anymore.
Finally, I cling to my afternoon quiet. Marin still naps, and if my big kids are home I park them squarely in front of the tv. I can get so much done during those 2-3 hours. SO MUCH.
First off, CONGRATULATIONS!!! It’s great to see someone chase their dreams.
I am at home with 3 kids age 4 and under. Some days I question my sanity. Like many others have suggested, it is so important to leave the house everyday. In a big city you will have no problems finding lots to do – for FREE (or really cheap).
Organization is key. For everything.
You are going to do great and your boys are going to love being able to spend so much more time with you.
Congratulations! 25 years ago, way before it was usually an attainable goal, I was given the opportunity to work full time from my home. I can honestly say that a)it’s as frustrating as all hell and b)it was the best thing I ever did.
A few bits of assvice: Don’t let yourself get socially isolated. Make yourself a schedule that, whenever possible, closes that office in your brain at 5pm Friday and doesn’t reopen it til 9am Monday, or whatever hours work best for you. (You may not notice yourself sliding into the “work whenever you need to” thing until you find yourself getting out of bed at 3:30 or 4 am to get “just one more thing” finished up.)
Also, enjoy this. You have been given the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. I am grateful to have had the chance, I know you will be too! Best of luck.
Long time reader, pert’ near never poster. Ah, well.
Congratulations on all you and your family have going on! Wanted to chime in on the “free stuff” idea — I’m in Chicago, and one of the best things I do in January is google the heck out of “free admission kids chicago” etc. and then write EVERY SINGLE thing in my daily planner. It sounds ridiculous and it’s a pain BUT I cannot tell you how many times it’s saved my husband’s, caregivers’, and my sanity to be able to open up the book and say: today there is a free story time at the coffeeshop, and the Field Museum is free. I don’t know what your Seattle ‘burb is like, but I was bowled over at how many museums have free days, and those that even have free sections all the time for kids. Oh — also we have Time Out Chicago online which lists free stuff daily, and I’m sure there’s a Seattle counterpart.
Finally, another blog that is delightful, HILARIOUS, and involves two brothers who are homeschooled is “electric boogaloo.”
Best wishes and thanks for all the great stories — looking forward to even more!
okay, me again, first: standard no-child disclaimer -
but this might be a tip that works – I must have read it or seen it somewhere because I sure didn’t think it up -
Mom had a sign, some sort of picture that she hung on the door to her work space – when she needed to work or was on the phone she would hang up the sign, point it out to the kids, give them an activity to do for the fifteen minutes that she needed and the kids knew that they couldn’t disrupt her when that sign was up. They earned treats or praise or stars or something when they did a good job of “listening” to the sign. Might work for those times when you need them to occupy themselves while you’re doing business.
I am sooo happy for you! This is a big step that will make you and your family really happy!
For preschool, you may want to look at area churches who may have a preschool that offers 3 day a week classes. We did that will all of my kids and the cost was not too bad. I realize you guys don’t attend church, but you don’t have to attend the church to sign up for the classes.
Have fun and enjoy the moment!!
Jen
I think a million people have already said this, but get out of the house every day! Jonna is totally right about being sure to get dressed every day, too. I’m sure you can find different kid activities (library story time, open gyms) that will accommodate both Riley and Dylan. You might want to create a schedule with something to do each morning, even if it’s only going to the grocery store. (Wait, are they bearable in the grocery store? I only have one, and he’s only one, so he does whatever.)
I also want to say that I am so thrilled for you to have taken this step. You’ve done so many major things in the past year. You inspire me on a regular basis.
Keep writing when things get really hard. It’ll do your heart good to get it out and get the support and empathy that you need.
HOORAY!!
My relatives in Kirkland have utilized their neighborhood co op preschools. They have loved it, and since parents are required to volunteer a few hours a week, it gives them social interaction as well!
Looking forward to reading through your comments too. I have a daughter, slightly younger than Dylan. We go to several programs at the library (for Riley there might be quite a few) – and those are free. Free is good.
Community education programs are usually less expensive than going to a place that offers that program specifically (dance classes, gymnastics, karate, art, etc.)
I try to limit TV not by time, but by certain programs that I know she likes to watch, otherwise I turn the TV off and she has to find something else to do.
There’s a ton of websites on homeschooling. I’ve been finding some useful info on this site: http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.com/ just for some things to do that are educational (we don’t formally homeschool.)
Good Luck!
In Florida we have VPK, which is free and I only found out about it on accident. No one at my daughter’s preschool told me that it was offered. Perhaps it’s available where you are, also? Never could have afforded it last year (when I was out of work) otherwise, so it was a blessing.
As for your work from home opportunity: Lucky!
So jealous and happy for you.
I am regular reader but have never commented and I just want to say how awesome this is! You are certainly inspiring to those of us that work at jobs we do not love and miss our kids all day just for a paycheck. Congratulations on following your dreams. May we all have the balls to do so at some point in our lives…..
If there’s anyone out there that can do this, it’s you. Look how much change you’ve gone through over the years, add this notch to your belt. Rock on!
Woohoo! Congratulations and best of luck with your new direction. I’m sure you’ll do great. No first-hand advice, as I can’t fathom working with kids at home, but, if you haven’t seen it already, Kristen over at Motherhood Uncensored had some good interviews with WAH moms recently, some of whom deal with working while kids are at home. Maybe there’s something helpful there.
No advice from me either, but you are one hell of an inspiration! Congratulations for taking the first step in choosing the life you want!
Congratulations!
My only advice is something I wish I did more during my maternity leave (1 year off here in good old Canada) is to take a shower and get dressed first thing in the morning. I know working at home isn’t the same but the idea of it being 3 and you’re still in your pyjamas is still just as possible.
Pyjamas are fun but don’t make for a very productive day!
I’m a freelance designer/illustrator who also helps run a company on the side. I work from home in NYC.
Basically, I make schedules, actually try to wake up for alarms, make sure I wear work-related clothes (cause PJs and robes always make me feel lazy) and made a proper office for myself away from the TV/hang out rooms.
On top of that, I have a combo whiteboard/corkboard above my desk. The whiteboard serves to cover my ever-changing To Do list: upcoming deadlines, things that need to be accomplished that day, etc. When I finish a task I wipe it off and always start my day writing out the list of things to do while I check my emails.
The corkboard is for the repeating things I need to do, whether it’s update a blog by a certain time every day, my weekly comic deadlines, the list of supplies I must bring out to every business meeting, etc.
It helps with my focus and memory, cause gods know I lack both of those. And I if I can’t keep that in line, I’ll never be able to hack it as a freelancer.
Otherwise, if you’re not reading blogs about freelancing (I adore freelanceswitch.com since it covers most kinds of freelancers), stick some in your RSS aggregator or just skim through their archives during some off time. Blogs like that keep me motivated, help me with issues and the communities help remind me why I’m doing this when things get tough.
Well, hell, I’ll pay you to make me muscular and skinny, as long as you don’t charge me the ridiculous prices I’m seeing. I even already have a gym membership!
Other than that, the King Co libraries have great story hours all the time. I’m sure you’re aware of the play area at Bellevue Square, and I think there’s free wi-fi there.
Chase your dreams and you will soar! I have no doubt that this will turn out wonderfully for you. Best of luck and again big congratulations!
You’ve done the hard part. You’ve made the jump. The future won’t be all cotton candy and kittens for any of us, but by God you’re going to kick ass and inspire a hell of a lot of us to chase our own dreams.
Congrats! I have been a SAHM for 4 1/2 years now. Advice: a) keep a schedule (weather on paper or electronic) broken down into 1/2 hour increments. It will constantly change, but it will help you keep on track. b) it took a while to find your groove when you first started at your last job – this is a job too, so don’t expect balance right away.
My one piece of advice is to join the Pacific Northwest Writers Association. Meetings are once a month in Bellevue (you can attend up to 2 a year free I think. Next one is being led by my Freelance Editor / Book Doctor Jason Black on Sept 22. All kinds of writers there (fiction, nonfiction, newspaper reporters, free lancers), including some pretty famous authors like Bob Dugoni and PNWA Prez Pam Binder.
It’s an awesome support system for writers getting started, and really helped me to turn the corner from my writing being a hobby to a career. The conference they hold (next year it’s in Bellevue), is one of the the largest in the US, and brings agents and editors into town who are looking for new authors to sign. They also have a huge writing contest with all kinds of subjects that really helps to get your material out there (not that you have a problem with that)
You may even find some other writers in your are who are looking for someone to be in a writers group. That’s how I got mine started.
I’m so excited for you! My husband works freelance and wrangles our 14-month-old. His rule is to treat each day like you would if you were working out of the house. Get up on time, shower, eat, work during x hours and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE at least once.
There are times when the kid rules the whole day, but he’s able to make it work.
(homeschooling/part-time-working mom of two-now 4th and 5th grades-who is still, even after doing this for 6 years, not quite sure how the fall routine will settle)
I see so many people suggesting getting out of the house every day and I have many friends for whom this pattern is a necessity. However, if I don’t have at least a day or two a week when I don’t have to go anywhere, I don’t get any housework done (and it’s bad enough as it is). So mostly, I echo those who have said that, though it might take some trial-and-error, you’ll find your own patterns (well, ok, then you’ll find them again as stuff seems to shift almost constantly with young kids). I hope you settle into your new schedule easily with plenty of space for peace.
I have worked at home for 5 years now (no kids though) and a couple of things that have kept me sane are: exercising, showering and getting dressed first thing in the AM and having a designated work room/studio so my projects don’t bleed into my life too much. I know that I should set a time to be done at the end of the day, but I don’t. I guess find the routine that works for you and stick to it. I will say too that although it’s often tempting to shut myself in for days and work, it makes me a little weird in a not good way, so getting out every day or at least talking to someone every day is probably a good idea. I’ve been reading your blog since before you had kids and I am so excited for you. By doing this you are also teaching them to follow their dreams. So cool.
Make sure you have set times for certain things and stick to them. Ie. wake up by this time, get dressed before 9am, go out for 1 hour in morning, etc. It helps keep you accountable for yourself.
Oh and Good luck! This is such an exciting development!
I have been a teacher for five years and this year I had a baby and decided to stay home. I joined my local MOMS club (www.momsclub.org) and its great because they have activities/playdates every weekday…I get to interact with other adults and kids get to meet and play with each other.
I don’t have any advice but do want to say that I’m proud of you and excited for you and love feeling like I’m cheering you on. It inspires me!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
Staying home with the kid(s) is difficult. Some times more than others, and it mostly balances out. I want to echo everyone else’s suggestion to get up and shower, get dressed and made up every day. It’s way too easy to live in a pair of sweats, and it just makes you feel like crap.
Accept now that there will be rough days, and just forgive yourself and have a do-over the next day. Everyone has *off* days, and sometimes it will be your off day…..and sometimes it will be one or both of the boys.
I think it’s really smart to have hired your sitter to come in for a few hours certain days, so that you can work. I did that with my nieces a few times this summer, and it was really helpful. I could lock myself in the office, and focus on my online job, but I was still around if they had any questions.
Again, GOOD FOR YOU!!!! You’re inspiring as hell to so many people Linda.
Oh, good for you. I didn’t read all the other comments in detail, so sorry if I repeat, but here are my 2 cents. (I’ve been self employed for about 3 years now.)
–There was a transition period, sometimes euphoric, sometimes crappy. It gets better. I know you expect this, but there were moments for me when I thought this is IT and it will be THIS HARD FOREVER. Not true.
–When I work from home, I totally stay in my yoga pants till noon and it’s awesome.
–There are groups of other freelancers that do lunches and/or organize working together in coffee shops, and that’s awesome. I missed having work peeps, a place to go, that community. And there are options of how to get it in whatever increment you want in other ways. If nothing else, call up your friends who work from home (I have tons of professor friends–we do this often) and meet up for lunch or a couple hours at a coffee shop to write.
–I don’t know if you’ve set up your business, but I consulted a tax guy who helped me pick the type of company (i’m incorporated) for the best financial benefit. Varies by state–can save you tons.
–Oh, and write off EVERYTHING YOU CAN. (see: consult tax guy, above)
–No matter what I make freelancing a month, I pay myself the same and have a reserve in the business acct for slow months.
–Yes, yes, professional organizations keep you in the loop re: industry developments, etc. and make nice friends.
–If it’s hard w/ the boys at home much of the day, consider a kid swap with another parent. You watch all kids 4 hours Tuesdays, s/he watches yours 4 hours Wednesday, whatever. Free = yay.
–I’m sure you’ll be just fine at this, but a concern I have w/ my daughter is being too… “Just let mommy finish this one email, sweetie.” It’s hard to do both at once without the kid feeling like work comes before them, so I’m very conscious to do one at a time. It’s a juggling act, but I’m sure you’ll find your groove in no time.
Good luck, and congrats. For me? Best thing I ever did.
I did nearly the same thing as you about three years ago — after having a foster (to adopt) placement of an infant baby boy. I continued to work for six months and it continued to suck my soul, so one day I went in and said Goodbye to all of it. The adult interaction, the regular pay, the career growth. Turns out that casting that aside to raise my son (and then shortly after, a daughter) was the best thing I have done. Ever in the history of ever. I wouldn’t have my daughter if I’d stayed. We managed to move forward (moved to our desired location, bought a house) and it has been hard. The schedule we have works for us — and it changes frequently. I think it would be insulting to you to give advice on how it’ll work because you and your family will find your own way that works for you. I just wish you the very best and hope that your experience casting off the old and broken and diving into this new chapter makes you as happy as it made me.
Congratulations! I became a SAHM this past April to my son who just turned 3. I agree with the above comments about getting out of the house, getting dressed, local free kid activities, etc etc.
Another point I wanted to make is that both my son and I had some adjustment periods. The first 3-4 weeks were much harder than I had anticipated. He had been in full-time daycare from 3 months – 2.75 years old. And I had assumed pulling him out to keep at home with his Mommy would just be heaven for him, but I suppose the upheaval of his daily routine was enough to throw him into a funk for 2-3 weeks. He also began seeing his Daddy less, so that was rough on him as well.
After he got through his adjustment phase, I started my own… questioning if I was “contributing” enough to my family (i.e. no paycheck) and providing enough to my son.
My husband was super-helpful as well, reassuring me of my “worth” to our family. That’s my other advice… talk these things through with your husband ahead of time to set expectations (housework, meals, shopping, paying bills, etc).
Being a SAHM is so much more exhausting than sitting in an office 8 hours/day was… so don’t kill yourself over conquering the world… allow yourself a nap/rest occasionally!
Find a moms group–MOMS club is great and it is an international group, so I’m sure there are some close to you. That way the kids are still getting kid sociliazation, you are still getting adult socialization, and when the shit hits the fan, there are moms you know and trust that you can drop your kids off with for a morning while you go to the doctor or get some work done or whatever.
We’re starting homeschool preschool with this program: http://letteroftheweek.com/preschool_age_3.html She’s a Christian-based homeschooler, but this curriculum doesn’t talk about religion–I think some of her other ones do but you can always just leave that out (we’re Jewish, so we’ll be substituting some info on pertinent Jewish holidays as they come through the year).
Good luck–staying at home is the greatest adventure I’ve ever been on!
Make a tour of local homeschool groups and co-ops. There’s a ton of diversity in the homeschool community. I’m sure you can find some neat people there. You’ll also meet some real freaks that might inspire your writing. You can even supplement your income teaching different subjects at co-ops.
I appreciate all you write. Good luck. Also I’m running my first ever marathon in a couple weeks…inspired and encouraged and motivated by your sites. Thank you!
oy ya forgot to say that oatmeal comic is hilarious. Laughed out loud at Tuesday’s action items and that is totally the kind of joke I normally I get all uptight about…
I’m not sending my just turned 5 year old this year either. You won’t regret this, it’s my third time having to make this decision…darn summer birthdays! You are rocking this change :)
Here’s my advice: You. Go. Girl. If anyone can do it, you can do it. And once you figure it out, please do share. :)
Congrats and Good Luck!
Get dressed and brush your teeth in the morning. From experience of working at home alone, I found it made all the difference.
What an amazing and life changing decision! My husband and I both work freelance (sometimes home, sometimes not) and we have a 1 year old who has never had a full time nanny or day care. It can be very stressful finding help when things get busy for both of us at the same time but I have no plans to change it anytime soon, I LOVE being able to hang with him an extra 2 hrs vs commuting. If we have deadline work we always hire a sitter. Don’t be surprised if you can’t get as much done with them around as you think. When I’m busy and my husband is not home what works for me is work until 1, then we do afternoon activities so I can concentrate on him, and work again after dinner if needed. You’ll find your groove…it just might be different than you originally planned.
I am so happy for you. What an exciting and scary thing to do…but sometimes you just have to jump off the cliff. Done that a couple of times, and I have no regrets. Definitely read electric boogaloo. Funny, nice woman with on-line business, homeschooling two young boys.
No advice, but just wanted to say you are SO INSPIRING. Congratulations lady!
i didnt read the other comments bc there were so many of them. but bc riley is going into kindergarden next yr, i thought preschool might be kind of important. i know of preschools that operate 3 or 5 days a week for 2 – 3 hrs that are affordable around here in delaware. is there anything like that near you? if not, be good about doing home school exercises, etc with him!
I cannot wait to read about this new phase in your lives, super exciting!
Congratulations! I am excited to read about your new adventure :)
As far as advice….I don’t have kids, but I had a stay at home mom. I know you’ll be working and I don’t know what you had growing up, but as an adult I appreciate a lot of what I got out of having my mom at home (obviously, I would have gotten different, but still good things if my mom had worked).
As a kid I wanted nothing more than a mom that worked. I saw my friends at home watching TV all day in the summer or I heard about all of the fun at daycare. But now that I am an adult there are some advantages that I see with the way I grew up and what I would try and do if I was able/wanted to stay home with my kids.
We were never bored. My mom always had some chores that we needed to do. Folding clothes, helping with dishes, dusting, cleaning bathrooms,setting the table, pet chores, picking up sticks outside, etc. And if we ever said we were bored, she would put us right to work. When we were young, we probably were more trouble than we were worth on ‘helping’, but it was good for us. And I am never bored now as an adult. Your kids are young, but don’t be afraid to get them involved in a lot of that stuff.
As far as home school stuff, I know that when my little sisters were being taught to read by sight (instead of phonics), my mom spent a lot of time with Hooked on Phonics (and I know that it is real rich that I am probably spelling that wrong….). It helped them to learn how to read the way that she wanted them to.
Here’s my snippet to offer: the blog of a person who is a successful writer and a stay-home, homeschooling mom of 4, where you might find some inspiration and some good advice. Like you, she’s got a good group of smart/dedicated readers too:
http://www.soulemama.com
She’s my first stop every morning even though I am the *complete* opposite of a writer/stay-home/mom of 4!
I work from home full time with a 2 year old (who goes to preschool twice a week for 4 hours) and I don’t have any advice because I feel like I’m still finding my balance with this whole thing and I’ve been doing it since I was pregnant – so there ya go. I need to back and read the comments and see if I can find some good advice for myself! haha – good luck to you girl, I know you can do this – you should be so proud of yourself!
Your flexible schedule may allow you to do a co-op preschool with the boys, which is significantly less expensive, plus gives you a touch of adult interaction.
There’s been a fair amount of Yo Gabba Gabba helping me through it, but really it’s just about spending some time hunkering down and doing the work, and the rest of the time enjoying your freedom. This is great news, I have been reading for so long about how much you didn’t enjoy your job. You can do this! It will take an adjustment but seriously, you can do it.
With 100 comments I have to confess that I have not checked to see if this has been suggested. Our 4.5 year old is set to attend preschool starting next week at the local public elementary school. We live in the Portland Metro area and the public preschools in our school district are provided at a subsidized rate regardless of home income status. We pay about half of what most private schools charge. Maybe your area offers something similar?
Best of luck with this huge life change! I have been a reader for a long time now and couldn’t be happier for you and your family.
I’m in the same situation, I pulled my 3 yr. old son out of preschool 2 weeks ago to work primarily from home. It’s been an adjusment but I’ve found that once the TV is turned off he will entertain himself with toys and the backyard. There’s the usual before naptime crankiness but that takes care of itself once he goes down. I had a meeting where I actually had to get dressed for work, & man it was a little uncomfortable. I’ll think I will miss the adult dressed working community, but am trying to appreciate the opportunites that maybe other working mom’s don’t have. Plus I log on at about 6 am when I wake up so am ususally ahead of the game. Good luck, & think of all the day care/preschool money you are saving!
I am excited about these changes! I agree with others who said you are brave and wonderful.
I just began homeschooling my sons. I held out for years. I was afraid I couldn’t do it, not because I couldn’t understand the material, but because of the logistics of things: the organization skills involved, the time & commitment necessary, the Oh No Will They Begin to Hate Me Because I Just Never Shut Up or Go Away…I decided to make a list of reasons to do it and it went on for pages and pages and I finally realized that the bottom line was this: I just wanted to. So far, it has been frantic and hectic and stressful and wonderful. I love having them here with me. I am so glad to have this time with them. They seem happy to be with me, too. So far.
There are groups of homeschooling moms that get together to support one another, and groups that get together to provide social and extracurricular opportunities for the children. Sometimes those groups are one and the same, and other times not. I was fortunate enough to find a group of moms with a similar educational philosophy to mine, which has been very helpful as I’ve been getting materials together, etc.
Best to you, Linda! I am happy for you!
Good for you ! I Applaud you for having the cojones to chase your dreams. I have no doubt that you will be successful and look forward to you sharing your journey.
Well done to you. The only suggestion that I have for you is do you have a playgroup or similar near you? We have them here in Australia but I don’t know about the US. Mums bring their kids along and play with the kids in a group or do different structured activities. At our playgroup each mum is rostered a day to be the organiser – it might be playdough or sock puppets or obstacle courses. The mums help the kids with the activity of the day and after the activity, the mums set the kids to play on the playground and then sit back and have mummy time with a coffee and cake. It usually only costs us $2-$5 per child. Its a great way of getting out and about with the kids, kids meeting kids, and mums meeting mums. It has been a sanity saver for many mums I know
Oh I’m so excited for you. One idea comes to mind: free nights at museums, like free night at Museum of Flight and I think SAM has a free, interactive monthly art day for kids at the Sculpture Park.
I’m quitting my job in a couple months and will be following your journey eagerly, for good tips. I’m great at leaving the house but what scares me is all the at-home time.
PLAYGROUP. I love ours. Every Wednesday from 10-12. At least I know I have that.
And I make sure we are up and dressed and ready to GO by 10 am. Even if we aren’t going anywhere.
If you get to comment #108, my only advise is to only ever plan on doing one thing per day with the kids. Then don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t get done. This thing that your embarking on is fucking hard, but the fact that you’re doing it now makes me think it must be worth it. Thanks for the reminder.
Hot damn, Linda! Congratulations, a million times a million times over. SO proud of you, so happy for you!
Congrats on the “Big Step,” but I am confident you will make it work! I have always been (and will always be) a Work Outside the Home Mom, but my kids are older now, and it is SOOOO much more manageable. Since your kiddos are still little, I would say that scheduling is key and routines are key. I’m also certain there are TONS of Homeschooler Groups and Playgroups you can find online to connect with other parents and arrange for Field Trips and other Group Activities. Also check with your local Parks & Rec Dept. and Public Libraries for inexpensive art, storytime, sports, etc. Even if it’s only a few hours a week, it will keep your kids interacting with other kids, and get all of you “out of the house” for awhile.
You are a talented writer–I’m sure you will be able to make this a success! Good luck!
So, so, so very excited for you. I work full time, use a big hive day care, use my lunch and not booked hours to run my errands and get PT for my special needs child and keep my household afloat, and damn, I got nothing about how to do what you’re doing, except plan, plan, plan. All the time.
OMFG I am so excited for you! I am a SAHM to three kidlets and my suggestion is the same as a lot of others – get out of the house every day. Otherwise you will go right round the bend. Good luck, I am so much looking forward to reading more of your stuff on the interweb!
This is so amazing, and I’m so happy for you!!
The only advice I would have is to find, or start, a good playgroup. My area has an awesome playgroup I was lucky enough to find, and they have structured, scheduled playdates…regular monthly playdates and then a variety of others. You don’t have to attend any, but you can look at the groups monthly calendar and figure out a schedule of when you want to go. Best thing I ever did when I became a SAHM!!
Don’t lose sight of yourself as a woman and a wife. You married your husband for a reason and the stress of being at home full time can make you forget that. Kids are great and all but they will leave the nest- you need to be OK with yourself and JB.
Welcome to freelance wahmhood! It rocks, hurts, is awesome, difficult, amazing and will always be better than any corporate job there is.
However, one word of advice, should your husband ever utter the words, “But what do you DO all day? It’s not like you’re doing REAL work…” try to resist the urge to beat him senseless…
Be happy, have fun. Life is short, childhood is short, the house bills troubles will always be there, so put them on the back burner and enjoy.
You are so VERY wise to realize what it is you want out of life at an early age and go for it…
And, you’ve already shown you can do anything you put your mind to, remember having to swim in the lake? Running? Working out? Not drinking? God, any one of those would have killed most of us, so you are already waaaaay ahead of the curve.
Also, love the cemetery pics, I do alot of those, and did a paper on the symbolism of the carvings, statues, etc for a death and dying class once. They all mean something.
Anyway, good for you, we are all so proud!
Awesome! Congratulations on doing what will make you and your family happy!
Awesome Linda!
I haven’t read all the other comments so this has probably already been said but as a mom of two, same ages as yours, I also wrestle with wanting to speed out of this hard, hard phase but at the same time wanting it to last forever.
I joined a mom’s club that emails me daily activities in my area, and I can choose to go, or do my own thing. Its free and its awesome. That gives my day structure.
And there will be those day with too much TV, too much boredom, and too many fights, but that’s OK too.
See ya sh**ty commute!
I don’t stay home with my wee ones so I’m lacking in advice in that department. Even stuff I know from my friends applies more to the system up here in Canada. I know there are a ton of online resources on homeschooling if you really want to look for ways to fit learning into the kids’ days. I already sent you a couple of book suggestions a couple of months ago… Nope I’ve got nothin’ right now, except:
WOOOOO!!! Go Linda!!! You ROCK!!!
I am so, so, so very happy for you. Thrilled. Someone may have already said this, but: My advice with scheduling is to have a rough schedule with “types” of activities, and then to fill it in depending on what’s available. So maybe you always go to the playground after naptime/quiet time, and at least twice a week you do some fun activity outside the house around 9-noon (library or Y or some special activity, depending on mood and availability), etc.
Good luck! Have fun! Remember that your schedule will feel very different once you’ve got the imposed structure of kindergarden, too, so enjoy this year as a different experience (as I see, glancing up, that others have already said).
First time commenter, not because you are not amazing, but because I always am overwhelmed by your posts. I just wanted to say we are two very different people – I am a 21 year old Australian girl about to be married, you…well, you know who you are. I love reading about your struggles and triumphs, and I love reading your prose, it is just so gloriously free flowing.
Anyway, the real reason for my comment is to point you towards The Pioneer Woman’s homeschooling section, if you haven’t seen it already. She has a bunch of homeschooling mums post there, and they all have awesomely different styles of teaching and learning.
Good luck! I’ll be here, reading and fingers crossed.
I don’t have much in the way of advice other than what’s obvious: know ahead of time that the next few months will be transition months. Just knowing that helps me get through a period of change, especially on hard days. Also: hooray for you for doing the homeschool thing! Even if it’s just for a year. That alone will help give your days structure. There are a million sites online with ideas for what to cover. If you ever need more advice in this area, I’m sure you’ll get tons if you just ask.
SO SO SO happy for you!
The working-at-home thing with kids is… interesting, as you’ll find out. There is a freedom that comes with it, but sometimes it’s also restricting and there are some unique pressures with it. But having a routine and a schedule is KEY to keeping it all together and not losing your mind (at least, not losing it TOO much, ha)
Good luck!!!
Congratulations Linda!
Congratulations!
That is just all so awesome. On the nursery School front, do you have any co-op nursery schools in the area, they require time from the parents, but cost so much less than others.
Gotta chime in and agree with the others who’ve said: 1) have a regular morning routine where you shower and dress just as though you were going into the office, and 2) make a point of getting out of the house at least a few times a week.
Not that you have to go full-on corporate every day, but being showered and dressed and at least pulled-together enough where if you have to leave the house unexpectedly, you won’t feel embarrassed. And remember, you’re modeling what work-at-home looks like for your kids, too. You’re a kickass professional. Comport yourself accordingly :)
–but seriously, after 5 years of working for myself, from home, I can tell you that I neglected this advice, and what happened to me was this very slow, creeping loss of self-esteem that slowly seeped into my life. It got pretty bad before I realized I should probably TAKE the advice I’d heard so many times, and now things are WAY better. You don’t need that! Keep it at bay by making a little time for yourself every morning to pull yourself together. It’s surprisingly hard to do it on your own when you don’t actually have to be anywhere, but it’s well worth it!!
Go, Linda, go! Best wishes to you and thank you for sharing your story!
Working on similar plans myself, just wishing you the relentless bravery and joy that is necessary. Good luck!
Linda, I have been a freelance writer for much of the past 20 years; a mom for 13 of those years. During this time, many have asked for advice about freelancing and I always give the same important directive… When you get up in morning, first thing, brush your teeth. Otherwise you’ll tend to the kids and the deadlines and somewhere around 2 p.m. you’ll sit back and your desk, breathe in the satisfaction of accomplishment, and taste your terrible morning breath. Really, you can greet the courier and the UPS man in your pajamas, but the other you don’t want to do. In all seriousness, best of luck. I have other tips, but it sounds as if you won’t need them. Enjoy.
I agree with all, about getting out of house, getting showered and dressed, free stuff and Mom’s groups…All great for keeping you functioning efficiently and help you keep your sanity!
One thing I found really helped give me ‘me’ time (you begin to feel like your days morph into the day over and over – hello ground hog day)was simply find a gym with a daycare.
I know you go to the gym and not sure if it has a daycare, but if not think about finding one with a child care. Its so nice to go there during the day. The kids get to play and interact with other kids…and you can take time to work out, take a class.. and oh maybe actually take a shower and get dressed without two little monkeys interupting every two seconds.
Congrats! This is very exciting news for you…super happy for you and your family…
Congrats on the new chapter — insanely inspiring to me right at this moment!
So, I’ve been working a non-traditional schedule since I returned from maternity leave (almost three years now) — three days in office while Kid Gleemonex is at “babyschool,” two days from home sans childcare. So yes, I’m putting in a full day’s work while parenting. Here’s what I can share from that:
1) Yo Gabba Gabba is …. AWESOMMMMMMME! (Trying to approximate the way DJ Lance says it — how’d I do?) Some days, one ep is all you need. Some days, you’ll underreport the actual number of eps to JB on purpose out of guilt. So be it.
2) Go to the gym before they’re all up. It sucks duck scroat to get up that early — holy SHATNER am I not an early riser — but I do it because it’s the only way to guarantee I’ll get to go at all. (Although the gym daycare is a great option if you have it, too — a mix is ideal — I’m just saying, the early session is the only one you’re GUARANTEED to get.)
3) Maybe you disable/block Twitter and Facebook etc. and even this blog on the computer you use for your writing? I’ve toyed with that idea myself, because it is SO EASY to use naptime/sitter time for You Time, because you DESERVE IT GODDAMMIT and you’re only going to be on for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES … but then that’s 30, or 45, or 2 hours … you know how it is. And time is precious like never before on this arrangement, so you have to do what you can to make sure it works. :-)
Love you, love your blog, sending vibes of fabulous success on all fronts your way!
Learning to fly is right! You’re awesome, Linda! It’s a delicate equation, but it really comes down to deciding what’s important to you AND paying the bills.
You have received so much good advice here. It’s interesting to read through… You’re getting a lot of “how to freelance” and a lot of “how to homeschool” and a lot of “how to maintain your self-time” and a lot of “how to be a stay at home mom.” But it seems to me that what you’re trying to attempt is such a mosaic of all these things. The sum of the parts is a huge undertaking. I know – I live it.
I’m a work-from-home mom of a toddler, with another babe on the way, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have been a freelance designer for 10 years and knew that I would continue once we started a family. I can’t imagine doing the traditional 9-5 thing now. Adjusting to life with a baby was – of course – ah, challenging. I expected that I’d be able to multi-task my way through every day and be all things to all people. I got over that after two schizophrenic months of trying to nurse my daughter at my computer, and design high-end websites in 15 minute chunks. Finally, we hired a babysitter to come in for 15 hours/week, usually in the mornings. Not much but, with a regular afternoon nap still and 2+ hours after she goes to bed (4-5 nights a week) and sometimes one blessed hour before she wakes up in the morning — all working at my computer — I somehow scrape together a month of 50 billable hours.
Of all the tips and tricks that come to mind to me, the biggest one is to figure out how to make some enough damn money so that you can buy yourself some breathing room. Pure and simple.
I take my professional world very seriously and have deadlines nearly every day. I don’t ever like to have a sobbing baby within earshot when I’m on the phone with a client. I have heart palpitations if a client has an emergency request at 8am on a Monday and I don’t have a babysitter coming at all that day. Maybe it’s different with babies. But my advice is to do whatever you can to get time where you can truly separate yourself from your kids for at least a few hours every day or every other day. I don’t think Yo Gabba Gabba qualifies (personally) and my daughter is no where near ready/mature enough for me to just ask this from her nicely.
When clients ask for phone appointments or make deadlines while I’m spending time with my daughter, I simply tell them I’m “unavailable” or that I have “been in a meeting all morning,” etc. I have found that they really don’t want to feel like I’m not a “real designer”, meaning full-time designer, so I don’t reveal a lot about my other life as a stay-at-home mom to them.
Because I have some help from the babysitter, most of the interstitial time I spend with my daughter is pretty sweet (even with it sucks). The true “away”/professional time helps me appreciate the kid and the kid time that much more.
Hope this is helpful. Again, you’re awesome and you’ll make it work.
Another plug for co-op preschools – here’s a link to Bellevue College’s co-op programs: http://bellevuecollege.edu/health/parented/classes/
It’s been such an awesome experience for us, I’m going to do it with our daughter in a year (once the dude is in kindergarten). Good luck!
Oh, man — I don’t have any advice, but I think you’re so brave and wish you the very, very best of luck. One thing I can say, since I’m going through some major life changes of my own at the moment, is that I do believe you can choose, most of the time, to see the glass as half full. Which is not to say that is doable all the time or that there aren’t Moments — but it’s sort of that same “pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over” mentality that so many of us have about exercising and eating healthfully. I hope that, above all, you find a routine that works for you guys so that you can fully enjoy this time! So exciting. Here’s to a new right now!
I haven’t read the other comments so I may be repeating something here but …
Here in Georgia kids 4 and up can go to pre-k for free, so my daughter is in school 6 hours a day. I am a student so when I’m not in class I am trying my best to study (an intensive nursing program). My husband works nights and sleeps during the days. I have my two year old son with me. Always. And sometimes, he does watch shows. Sometimes, he plays with his trains for two hours at a time. Sometimes, he asks me every two minutes for something new. Some days, it’s time to go pick up my daughter and damn if I didn’t get a single thing done. I have learned to realize this is not little house on the prairie and some days are full of wholesome good ol’ nature loving education building happy happy joy joy times. Others are movie days because I need to get something done. The end!
You.
Are.
Inspiration.
Oh my goodness Sundry — Congrats! : )
I’m no expert with the kid-wrangling, but I do have a goodly number of years of Trying To Keep Myself Motivated Whilst Working From Home. The best suggestion I have (if you have a goldfish attention span the way I do) is Use A Timer. (Rumour has it kids like this too. Again, no idea there.)
Give yourself say 15 or 20 minutes to focus on One Task, get as much done as you can in that timeframe, then do 15 or 20 minutes of either housework or playing with your boys, or whatever makes sense.
That’s pretty much the only thing preventing me from just baking bread all day some days.
I am so inspired by and proud of you! Go you! And good luck!
Started reading you on that blog that you stopped writing for that had all the grumpy commenters…what was that one? Anyway, I’ve got 2 boys, 2 years apart, (both of your are about 6 mos. older than mine), I was inspired by your home fitness routine to becoming a serious runner, I work from home, my boys go to KinderCare part-time (although we can’t really afford it) I’m wrestling with the same issues, I feel like I’ve been on a journey with you. I’m still not sure where mine is going, but I’m enjoying the ride and enjoying your company. Good luck, you are a strong smart lady.
Congratulations! What an exciting new path you have in front of you!
I’ve been working from home – as a writer – for going on six years. And my biggest piece of advice is to make sure everyone – spouse, kids, babysitter, parents, EVERYONE – knows that you are still working. Just because you are in the house doesn’t mean you aren’t doing something valuable and worthwhile. And “everyone” includes you, too! Sometimes it’s easy to look around at laundry and messy rooms and dishes and think, “Well, since I’m home, I guess I should do that.” But you are at work, and that’s important too.
You’ll figure it out. And it will be wonderful. :-) Congrats again!
Congratulations Linda! You’ve been one of my favorite writers for years now, and I’m so proud that you’re pursuing it on a larger scale. I’ll read anything you write, so keep it coming!!
I would love to be doing what you’re doing now although I’ve been there and done that. I currently have an office job which I love, and am taking care of my two-year-old grandson part time which I also love. I’m exhausted! (But I wouldn’t have it any other way.)
Love reading you and stopped by The Stir from your link. Check under the seat cushions and see if you can find that missing R. You lost it from your Stir bio:
“Hoaders-level filth.”
Good luck with the challenges you are undoubtedly facing!
I’m late to the party and there are already 140+ comments, so please forgive me if I repeat.
I am a freelance writer who works from home. I also have 8 children, 4 of whom I homeschool (plus 3 little ones and a public schooler). It can be tough!
Right now what is working for us is for me to take 2-3 hours a night for writing, while my husband oversees dinner cleanup and bedtime. Having another adult who will step in and help is the key – whether that’s a spouse or a sitter or whatever.
Also I found I had to start keeping a list of “intendeds”. Things I want/need to do while I have dedicated computer/office time. Otherwise, I’ll forget.
I also do easier, quick things during the day, during “down time” in the kid’s schooling or whatver. Often the kids don’t need me right there with 100% attention (like if they are playing tea party with their baby or stacking blocks – IMO it’s good for kids to play on their own without adults sometimes- but obviously I still need to be in the room and available. So I’ll check my email. Write titles of blogs I want to post and save to drafts. Scroll through my Reader. I write about pop culture for a tween site, so I might sneak in a YouTube of Justin Bieber that I need for an article later that night. Quick 1-2 minute bursts.
And I joined a writing crit group that meets at a cafe 2x a month. That refreshes and rejuvenates me. Also I always do the marketing by myself. In our house, we’ve agreed that Tuesday nights are “mine” for my writing group, or to just go to a wi-fi cafe and write my spec fiction, or even just browse the HobLob. (My husband goes to Aikido 3x a week, though not all night, and that’s the tradeoff that works for us.)
Oh, and when you have littles home all day – just prepare that your house will look different at the end of the day, compared to when everyone was out of the house. And don’t hold yourself to an impossibly high standard. Being Mom is good enough, don’t pile on needing to do a picture perfect craft to go with the letter of the day, complimented by a snack that fits into the theme, along with learning two new finger rhymes, all while keeping up with laundry, house, and cooking.
Fellow work-at-home-mom-writer here. My first piece of advice is: Hire a babysitter, which you’ve already done.
My second piece of advice is: Don’t expect to get a damn thing done when the babysitter is not there, because you Will. Not. Get. Anything. Done. The faster you accept this, the happier you will be, because time spent stressing about what you need to get done is time better spent enjoying your kids. And if they want your attention and don’t get it, all hell will break loose, and then you really won’t get anything done. At least, that’s how it works at my house.
Third piece of advice: Set your priorities. Mine are as follows: 1. Kids. 2. Work. 3. Feeding everyone. 4. Personal hygiene. 5. Sleep. 6. Housekeeping. This means that on some days, the house will be a wreck, you will be unshowered and you will be exhausted. But you will be happier, and so will your kids, and that’s what counts.
Best of luck to you. You’ll do great.
I am inspired!
you’re an inspriration. i just resigned from my corporate, government-esque job to work for a non-profit, happy place for less money. it will work. it has to work and i could not be happier or more terrified! i loved reading this post. thank YOU