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Oct
6
There’s no trick to finding the discipline to be fit. Or more accurately, there are a thousand tricks, but they don’t all work for every single person and even when something does work for you at one point in your life there’s no guarantee it will work forever.
Lately, nothing much has been working for me. The transition from working in an office to being home full time has resulted in my complete and total inability to keep out of the kitchen at night. I eat healthfully during the day, but after 9:30 PM all bets are off. Once the laptop is finally shut for the night, I sit and snack in front of the TV until it’s time to head to bed.
I know why this is going on—it’s a reward, it’s a habit, it’s about so much more than the food itself—but I don’t seem to be able to stop. Even last night, after a weekend of crappy food and telling myself I had to get on top of this thing, I still dug into kids’ chocolate bunny crackers while JB and I watched a kung fu movie.
I mean, we’re talking a full movie’s worth of bunny crackers, okay? Not, like, a small serving-sized handful.
(And I don’t even really like bunny crackers.)
(Well, and also. Also, there were Reese’s Pieces, Saltines, and a pile of dried banana chips.)
I’ve been asking myself how much I really care about this. Like I said, I do eat well most of the time, and I work myself to the max at CrossFit a few days per week. I am, in general, a strong and healthy person. So I’ve been thinking, well, maybe I can have this one goddamned thing, you know? I don’t drink, I don’t shop, I don’t even have date nights anymore. I spend my days corralling two hyper kids and chasing down celebrity news and cleaning the house and cooking dinner and writing corporate newsletters and planning homeschool activities. Maybe I can just own that nightly carb-fest, say yeah, this is my vice and it makes me happy and you know what, I’m okay with that.
The thing is, though, it doesn’t make me happy. I suppose it makes me happy while I’m mindlessly gnawing my way through an episode of 30 Rock, but the repercussions are piling up. There’s the weight gain, which I could almost see as worth-it collateral damage except there’s no sign that I’ll just hit some acceptable set point and level off. There’s the way all my clothes feel, and the way I find myself tugging at my waistlines and shirts and abandoning certain outfits altogether under the excuse that it’s just more comfortable now to dress casually, instead of admitting the truth: those jeans just don’t fucking fit any more.
Worse, there’s the increasing fatigue and my reliance on Red Bulls and coffee and iced teas throughout the day. There’s the chemical fuckery of high-glycemic foods that results in headaches and sinus issues and ongoing crabbiness and impatience with the kids. There’s the feeling that I’m losing something important to me, that even though I feel good about everything I accomplish during the day I am continually losing control every night, and I hate that most of all. I hate stepping in the bath at night and catching sight of my puffy self and thinking, oh god, why. Why did you do that again.
I think, where’s that girl who gutted out the pain of training for a marathon? Where’s the girl who learned that all the very best things in life are hard as hell? Since when can a bag of crackers kick my ass?
Maybe the one trick that always works is deciding to say yes, I do care about this. Yes, it’s worth giving up something I don’t want to give up. Yes, I’m willing to start over for the thousandth time.
Yes, I want to feel better, and I know what I need to do so.
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82 Responses to “Deciding to care”
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Ugh, I know what you’re talking about and I’ve never had even near the amount of discipline you’ve displayed.
You’ll be fine, it’s just getting back into the “better” habit for you.
Good luck (she says as she crams her mouth full of dried cherries.)
:)
Good luck! At least you’re clearly trying which is impressive in the self control department.
I realize this is probably obvious to the point of stupid but I too am a late night snacker and the only thing that works for me is to not have ANY snacks in the house. I stopped buying crackers, cereal, snack stuff in general. Now if I want to snack I have the options of: popcorn made on the stove with a bit of oil and salt (I have NO guilt about gorging on this) or eating a healthy snack/fresh fruit or actually cooking/baking. If i want it enough to bake cookies from scratch then gosh darn it I’ll have one of those too and take the rest to work/friends later.
Of course I’ll admit this makes it harder to pack the kid’s lunch every day.
Maybe you should get some really good snacks that you like and make it a small treat of something good rather than mindlessly eating kid crap. That said, I’m the one who sits all curled up on my couch watching those same shows and then whatever else comes on after when I can’t get my ass off the couch while I savor my little (sometimes not so little) chocolate treat with red wine. And, give yourself a break. You are in a transition phase.
I understand the reward thing – because dammit, you given up everything else – and I don’t know what the answer is. Like Melissa H said, the only way I keep myself from snacking is to keep it out of the house. I can justify anything when I want a snack.
This post made me want to give you a hug! It’s damn hard, being so disciplined about everything all the time. And I can hear you beating yourself up about this (which I do all the time, too), even as you list all that you accomplish every day. (The idea of preparing lessons for a five and two-year-old every day — on top of work — makes my eyes cross.)
For me, I’m only able to keep my eating under control if I’m completely engaged in a specific goal. And that goal can’t be losing weight. It never works. Right now, I’ve started to see results after three months of Crossfit, and I don’t want to sabotage all of that pain and sweat with a carb-filled late-night snack. I sort of want to see how far I can go. As much as I want to lose weight — and I feel great when I do — it never, ever motivates me to eat well or exercise in the long run.
I am in the same boat. My problem is between lunch and dinner, that’s when I snack, and it’s all bad. I know what I need to do but I just don’t do it. I was looking at pictures the other day from not too long after I had my son (8 years ago). I thought I looked fat then, I look so much worse now.
My real problem is I NEVER had to watch what I ate or exercise when I was younger. I was always super skinny. I hate the feeling now that I need to do these things just in order to look the way I used to (kind of).
You made us laugh with the crackers kicking your ass bit. Food as treat is a major issue around here. Maybe taking up knitting or crafting something or doing puzzles when you are watching TV at night would help?
I absolutely love that you wrote this post (even if I bitchfully think ‘oh yea, try facing down the FORTY lbs I need to lose…but I digress). I am so trying to care right now and it’s HARD. My favorite terminology from this post? Chemical Fuckery. What a perfect phrase, I’m going to keep that in mind next time I find myself carb-loading. Wishing you good luck with this challenge, and a little for myself too.
Well, I totally sympathize with you, I am fighting the same plight. I wish there was some great inspiration I could give, or some quick easy button, but alas I myself am out of those also. Like that motivational poster: Hang On.
It gets worse before better right? So maybe all that better is coming up asap?
I work out (almost) every weekday morning, getting up at 4:45am….I lost the pounds I needed during the last 9 months and am (almost) holding steady.
With the switch from “no school summer” to working at school 3 hours every day and doing office work at home around that I’ve had trouble adjusting. Darker sooner and colder weather haven’t helped either.
I just told my husband the other day that I have to figure out what I’m working out for – Is it to lose those last 3 pounds? or is it to stay fit and healthy?
when I finally figure that out, I’ll be fine. Believe it or not, THIS time I have the eating under control. It’s the consistent workout that’s got me hornswoggled.
I read a great essay once about the difference between discipline and dedication. (actually think it was in Runner’s World) Often very hard to act on discipline but easier to act on dedication. e.g. I “shouldn’t” be eating these vs I won’t eat these because I am dedicated to taking 10 minutes off my marathon time. Hard to get out of bed at 6am because running is good for you but easier if you have a race in 3 months. What can you dedicate yourself to?
It’s a continuous commitment I have to remind myself to make every day. Not letting food have all the control. Some days I’m more successful than others. But then I’m not cured.
Please take the CrossFit nutrtional brainwashing (sorry-”information”) with a grain of salt. You don’t need to beat yourself for eating the occasional refined carb. Also, caffeine is OK.
Obviously you don’t want to punish your children, but perhaps it would help to decrease the amount you’re family is buying? That way it’s not in the house tempting you.
Also, maybe have a specific treat to replace the eating. Oatmeal raisin cookies instead of chips/processed food for instance. Or more dried fruit–like the banana chips. Those are fairly healthy. They’re at least better than straight candy.
But when you’re done with your work for the day you could also have a specific activity you do as a reward: paint, crochet, modeling clay–something you’re doing with your hands so you can’t eat at the same time.
Knitting or crocheting can also be done while you watch a movie. I love to do that, personally, although I’m not very good at it.
The other day i posted about how to me, having the guts to train for a marathon was less daunting than than telling the world I want to lose 12 pounds. It’s crazy how challenging the food thing is. Good luck!
Oly guy, I want to respond to that. I’ve received very little nutritional info from CF — it’s there if I want it, they don’t push it. Believe me, I know the difference between an ‘occasional carb’ and what I’ve been eating, okay? I’m also pretty sure I know what’s normal for me caffeine-wise as opposed to what I’ve been consuming in the last several weeks.
I have no doubt that this would be one of my biggest issues if I ever had the chance to work from home. When I was on maternity leave and when I am at home on vacation, I eat WAY more often than I do when I’m at work and don’t exercise. I have good intentions and never act on them. It’s like I need the structure of working full time and taking care of the kids in the evening to get my shit together and exercise and eat right. The only two things I’ve found that help me with the urge to eat the house in the evenings are chewing enough gum to gross out a 10 year old or brushing my teeth as soon as I put the kids to bed. I know it sounds ridiculous, but having toothpaste breath makes almost all food taste like ass so it’s no longer tempting.
I’m a minight snacker. Especially on my chemo treatment days. ya. eat dinner around 5:30-6pm. up by 10 and downstairs for my first bowl of frosted mini wheats. back up to bed then by 1 am…. I’m downstairs for my 2nd bowl. by 5 am I’ve moved onto cinnamon toast and hot chocolate. The reason I haven’t gained 50 lbs is the chemo. I do not recommend it for weight loss.
Why is the food thing so friggin hard?? For me it’s the post-meal treat. I have to have it (or so I think). But in the end it only leaves me wanting more sweets, which leads me to feeling fat, sleepy and annoyed. You are so right though, it’s a choice. Not an easy one, but a choice nonetheless.
Is it the TV watching that causes it? Do you have the same cravings / behavior when reading a book or writing for (gulp) fun? Maybe you need to get started on that novel…
I’ve been up and down weight wise my entire life. At the moment I’m down. YES! I do really well when I am at work, but once I get home that is where the real struggle begins. Weekends are super challenging, so the thought of working from home terrifies me. I’ve found that if I keep a stash of snacks around that won’t tip the scales I do a lot better. Those Skinny Cow ice cream things are awesome. You can still treat yourself without sabatoging yourself. Also, I have found that I can sometimes squash the nighttime munchies if I have a cup of decaf coffee or tea.
I try to keep just “ingredients” on hand because I cook almost all my meals so I don’t technically have anything junky or craveable around. So why do I dip into handfuls of almonds, or raisins, or make a bowl of oatmeal almost every night? Is it culture, habit, stress, subliminal TV messages? We’d make a million bucks if we could figure that out.
Funny, but I never remember anyone routinely eating after dinner time as a kid. We used to wash up and Mom would say, “the kitchen is now closed!”
Your blog recently got me to try sugarless gum to stem the mindless eating. It’s actually worked a time or two, so thank you!
Because you’re a writer and a creative, resoureful person, you may already have done this, but…have you ever tried keeping a food diary? It’s a very interesting exercise, and one that has worked for me in the past, You could try it for a week—or maybe just after 9:30 pm for a month, or some variation like that. Good luck with everything as you transition.
..and of course you are “resourceful,” not “resoureful!”
In college a friend of mine had the same issue. . She swore by brushing her teeth at 8pm. It was enough to remind her not to eat crap late into the night. It works great for me too. But sometimes, I prefer a few indiscretions.
I’m in worse shape now than I was three months after I’d had a kid, and it’s all because of mindless snacking and lack of exercise. I know this. AND YET. The thing that terrifies me the most is that if “look awesome in a wedding dress” can’t be somehow manipulated into motivation, I don’t know what will, and that’s really scary. I need to do something, and soon, and forever, not just a few months.
Carb addict/alcoholic here. I don’t miss alcohol at all anymore, but I do miss the ability to just “check out” sometimes, which is kind of what alcohol did for me. I think that when I eat carbs that is probably what I’m chasing too — I think I told you once about the day I ate seven cupcakes in close succession.
That said, the knowledge that this is what I’m doing never makes me stop doing it. I started taking a medication that helps with the sugar/carb cravings, which are absolutely related to alcoholism. It does not eliminate the problem entirely, but it can help a little, like an extra tool to keep your in line. You still have to try to remember that one cookie almost always leads to another and another and another, just like alcohol. I struggle with this pretty much every day. So, you know, I hear you.
I have been training for the Portland Mary 10-10 and it has been hard but man I have loved it…but now during the taper portion I am feeling like crap and my knee is hurting and I am just a big old mess of “feeling sorry for myself” which results in a huge bowl of cereal & milk at 11pm, because ya’ know it is totally fine grubbing at 11pm right? Not! Anyway, I have heard every reason in the book to cut snacking, from keeping sweets out of the house (then I just eat spoonfuls of brown sugar) to buying things you don’t like (I eat them anyway)…and honestly the only thing in the world that works for me, is being honest that it’s ‘not’ working for me and I need to change. That is the one thing that really got me through marathon training, I mean I like to run and all but 16, 18, 20 mile runs? Hamster wheel crazy! To get through it I had to be honest with myself, I would think of Oprah and how she ran a marathon and yes she had a trainer but she still had to use HER own legs to run it…or I think of peeps who have professional chefs etc to eat healthy but it is till THEIR own willpower they need to use to not eat at 11pm, no one else can do it for you.
I love this passage* from my running book, it put my feelings into perspective, being honest about things that don’t make me happy and/or if I do shove cereal in my mouth every single night what am I going to do about it the next day so I don’t feel shitty? I have been a stay at home parent for 3.5 yrs now and I swear there are days I would kill to work just so I could have my routine of coffee & lean cuisine & healthy snacks all day…sad huh? To want to work to eat frozen food on a schedule :-)
*passage:
Training for and running a marathon is not a single event; rather it is an experience. It is a discovery of self that will forever change your perceptions, perspective, priorities and possibilities. You will meet yourself at what you thought were the boundaries of your potential and endurance, and watch in awe as they evaporate to reveal
only open expanse. To know that the only boundaries in life are those which we create ourselves is a discovery that can not be taught-it must be experienced. For once you have seen the view from the mountaintop, and living a life of voluntary blindness is no longer an option.
Maybe another marathon or half is in your future? You seemed to be happy training for long distances.
The food thing never gets easier, does it? I’m still trying to lose baby weight from #2, she’s almost 19 months, and I know to give it time. The fact that I ate cookies for dinner isn’t helping though. AND I KNOW THIS. Grrr…
IANAD, this is not advice, I am not expert in any way about any of this. But two nutritionists in different settings have told me that comfort-eating at night is sometimes a response to not having had a big enough breakfast (all in one go). Not that you haven’t had enough calories during the day or whatever, just that if you get a meal in a sitting, first thing, and then you pause for a few hours, it provides satiety late in the day. Something to do with insulin secretion. (The meal has to be the usual healthy nutrient-dense business, with enough protein and fiber that you can make it to lunch without crashing.)
I still haven’t gotten any better about this, mind you, because I hate eating first thing, so I don’t know if it actually works for me. But since it’s supposed to be evidence-based medicine, my personal testimony is irrelevant anyway.
You’re in a transition period. It involves changes and changing. Say to yourself, ok I’ve had my fun pigging out and now it’s time to develop a new healthy routine. Find a gimmick, a treat or reward to get going and stay with it. I’m lucky (I guess) because I can’t stay up past 9 pm. I put baby boy to sleep at 7 and read for an hour or two slumped into bed too exhausted to even make the trip to the kitchen. Sorry for the shite grammar.
I am the same way. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I know I have to get up in a few short hours and do the same shit all over again. It is like a compulsion to fit in as much pleasure as I can in my few sweet hours without a kid hanging off my leg. Beer, chips, dark chocolate Dove bits dipped in peanut butter…..CRAM IT IN BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL ALONE AND CAN ENJOY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW without anyone harrassing you or wiping their snot on you or needing something from you!
I’m intrigued with the idea of knitting or doing puzzles as people are suggesting. I don’t really FEEL like learning to knit, but it would be satisfying to do something with my hands. Maybe the Betty Draper smoking thing wasn’t such a bad idea!? (KIDDING!)
Have you ever thought that you need time to adjust? You are high strung (like me!!) and want to adjust instantaneoulsy…. it is not going to happen. Allow yourself some time to adjust from the working world to the at home world. You need it. I too is a Masters Degree Earned Stay At Home Mom…it is tough. Give yourself a time limit: a month,2 months whatever you need, AND THEN READDRESS what you need to do differently. You are too quick at the trigger girl….
I am exactly like you so I feel I must respond to this post. Obviously, a lot of us ladies are battling this same habit. I’m a SAHM with a very active 16 month old toddler who’s been very messy and whiny lately. For me, sugar is my only vice. Like, “Finally I can relax, don’t I deserve a little treat?” At least I have other sisters out there like you who can relate! Maybe we just need different “rewards”.
I think natural variations in dedication to nutrition and fitness are completely to be expected. Particularly after a marathon. I ran my marathon at the beginning of June and the remainder of June and July, I really checked out from running and the nutrition part went right downhill with it. I finally got the running back on track in August but I am just now getting a handle on the nutrition again. I mean we were eating ice cream here at least once a week, sometimes twice and not just oh little dish of vanilla either.
So I feel for you and I think it is completely understandable since you are going through so many changes. I think once you start seeing the results of xfit, you will be less likely to eat the crap naturally. And you know what to do and you know you can do it too.
First, off your blog is awesome. I read it all the time and think that you are a great writer and I enjoy your candid postings.
So many people posted already the ideas I’d have for you. The main one that I wholeheartedly agree with is not having any ‘fun’ stuff in the home. If I want something sweet or salty (outside of the healthy alternatives at home) I either have to make it from scratch or go out and get it. It definitely helps so much. It’s also better for your family in the end. As someone else posted it DOES make it harder to pack quickie lunches for kiddos but it’s all worth the effort in the end.
Have you tried smoothies? I have a VitaMix and swear by smoothies that have fruit, nuts and some veggies in them. I make a bit pitcher every morning and that serves as an easy and very healthy snack throughout the day for the whole family.
Good luck! You are such an inspiration … obviously this is something you’ll work through as you have so many other things.
I’ve been doing the same thing lately and feeling the same way about it. I was thinking a cleanse might re-set my system somehow. Have you ever done one? If so what did you think?
Fair enough-sorry about that. I have a lot of experience with CF and am leery about much of the coaching and nutritional guidance I have seen from them. I shouldn’t have pushed that on you.
I enjoy your blog very much and wish you all the best.
I have no advice about snacking at night (I drink lots of black decaf tea at night, a habit I evolved to help me deal with this problem, but this would not work well for everyone.) What I mostly wanted to say was that I have been love, love, LOVING your blog lately, which I’ve read for years but rarely comment on. Loving the homeschool posts. Loving the way you’re dealing with the house and with fitness and the kids. Loving the business side of things, and the exploration of what’s right for you. LOVE. Your writing has always been so good, but lately you just seem so secure and happy, underneath the small shit. It makes me feel better just to read you. Thank you so much for all this.
Clearly, you are not alone in your plight.
Like you, I’m pretty fit, and I doubt anyone would call me overweight. I look good in my clothes, I’m strong, I can run up big hills without stopping. And apparently I’ve gotten cocky, because for the past few months I’ve taken all that for granted and my late-night snacking has looked a lot like what you described. It makes me feel gross, and I’ve been so disgusted with myself every time I cave, but still managed to justify it in the moment, thanks to denial or apathy or self-destructive tendencies or whatever. So I’ve returned to the only thing that’s ever worked for me: the Four Days On, Three Days Off Plan. Monday through Thursday, I don’t eat any sugar (my personal crack) or drink any alcohol. Not an M&M, not a tiny glass of wine with dinner, nothing. Friday through Sunday, though – anything goes, no rules.
There’s something about going completely cold turkey, but knowing that it’s just for a few days, that makes giving up the crap much, much easier for me. I can do anything for a few days, right? And I stay in control, and that feels good. And the trick is that I find myself feeling so much better (energetic and thin and virtuous) by Friday, that when the weekend comes I don’t even want it as much. Not that I don’t still gorge out sometimes, but the habit becomes occasional rather than regular, and the pull toward consuming isn’t nearly as strong.
I am constantly amazed that this works for me, as I’m fully aware of the psychological tricks I’m playing on myself. But it does, so I’m gonna keep doing it.
I can say that I too am subject to late night snacking. But I’ve found something almost as satisfying as the cookies and crackers. Herbal tea – the really flavorful loose-leaf stuff. I make it so hot that it takes it a while to get cool enough to drink. I will put a teaspoon of honey in it if I’m craving sweets. I’ve used the tea to cut back on my caffeine too. You can even turn it into a calming evening ritual. So much of the late night treat thing is the comfort and reward of surviving another day, and a mini tea ceremony works wonders for that.
The only downside is it will eventually stain your teeth a bit. Then again, I think super white teeth look a little too fake to be attractive. :)
Been there. Recently. But seriously, I feel SO much better eating the *right* stuff. Like a different person. Happier, lighter (and I have a lot to lose), kinder. It dawned on me that chocolate tastes nice for a second. That’s it. Good food makes me feel good all day, and right now, I want that feeling *more* than I want 1 second of pleasure from the chocolate.
One of the few things that helps me with carb binges is to refuse to eat right out of the bag. I fill a small bowl from the bag and eat from that instead. I might go back to the kitchen and refill the bowl 3 times, but that’s still less than eating the whole bag.
Have you read Jillian Michaels’ Master Your Metabolism? I haven’t really gotten into it, but she talks a lot about these sort of hormonal roller coasters.
I hear ya sister…….for the last year I have been SO unhappy with my reflection in the mirror….and that unhappiness spills over into most areas of my everyday life. When am I going to STOP IT and gain control? How can 5 pounds kick my ass????? Good luck! Thanks for your blog – you make me LOL and the fact that you are willing to admit you are not perfect makes me love you even more.
You’re good with things when you have a goal right? So set yourself a goal. Maybe it’s just a weekly goal, maybe it’s to train for a half marathon, or even say a 5k or a 10k. There are all sorts of family walk/run 5k events happening in my area this time of year, maybe sign up for one of those. Do you want this to be an individual goal or a family goal? Which would work better for you?
And on a slightly unrelated note, I so appreciate how you get that what works for one person doesn’t work for everybody. So even when you were training for the marathon you weren’t all ‘everybody needs to do this’, I’ve given up on blogs when the blogger has gotten obsessed with one thing that I just don’t relate to.
Same here! If I could cut out everything I eat past 9pm I’d be so proud of myself. And 10lbs lighter.
i completely understand what you’re saying. i’m sooooooo capable of annihilating many munchie type goodies in the evening during the watching of the television. even crap i don’t LIKE. i’ve discovered that for me… i HAVE to keep my hands busy somehow… or they make themSELVES busy shoveling food into my mouth. bleah. drives big jim crazy but i’m usually handsewing, crocheting, etc, blahdy blah while i’m sitting. keeps food outta my mouth. :)
I just caught up on your last 10 posts yesterday and realized just how awesome and motivating you are.
As always, good for you for figuring out what you want and what you want to do about it.
I totally relate! I followed you onto the primal blueprint bandwagon several months ago, and I KNOW that I absolute feel and look much better when I follow that eating plan. And yet… I feel guilty when I give in to my carb cravings and end up binging on bread and cereal and sweets. I’m also a recovering alcoholic, and I sometimes feel like I deserve a treat, since I don’t have the option of relaxing with a few drinks at the end of the day like “normal” adults do. I don’t know what the answer is, but I love reading your posts. You inspire me.
I find that the trick for me is not even starting (I’m more of a chip fan, but still). If I let myself have a handful, before I know it I’ve eaten the entire bag of Doritos.
You’ve done it before and I know damn well that you’ll do it again. Cheering you on.
I don’t mean to give “assvice” as it were, but here’s the thing that works for me otherwise I do the exact same thing as you – knit or solitaire. I need to do something with my hands while watching tv/movies otherwise I do the evening snack thing and it’s horrible. If you can figure out something mindless to do with your hands, that might help a lot. Even folding laundry works and in my house at least we have enough to create its very own diet plan.
Instead of snacking try doing your nails while you watch tv. Once you start you either won’t be hungry b/c of polish smell or nail dust, or, you can’t touch stuff with wet nails. As a bonus, nice nails!
My thoughts? I understand. I just got through getting rid of the ‘comfort food’ ass, so bascially I feel hungry all the time, but honestly I’d rather feel hungry (physically) and fit into all my pants. It’s all about figuring out what I want to control in my crazy life. Getting older is a bitch, man…
Also? Banana chips are the devil’s handiwork…they are loaded with fat and calories so step away.
Hugs.
I’m dealing with this too and it sucks. I know I’m doing it, I decide I’m still gonna do it, then I feel shitty I did it.
I hope you pull out of your funk too.
You were my inspiration for cutting out my high-fat snacks (4 years ago when I went on a low-fat diet to get my cholesterol down). I remember your evening-snack advice was to eat fruit; strawberries & cool-whip, right? It’s not strawberry season now but how about orange sections? Cantaloupe chunks? Apple pieces and low-fat caramel dip? I bet there are other appealing snacks that would be a better substitute for chocolate cookies. Get thee to the produce aisle!
A nutritionist once told me that if it’s past 8:00pm and you’re hungry, it’s really just your body telling you that you need sleep. Have you tried skipping the TV and the snacks altogether and just getting some more rest? Even if it seems lame to go to bed at 9:30, it might help with the fatigue and the need for caffeine, not to mention the late night snacking.
My problem is the mid-afternoon snacking. Telling myself “no” to a handful of chocolate chips or half a peanut butter sandwich is just torture.
Yup, I get there occasionally. The only thing that helps me divert from that pattern (except time) is to pour myself a small bowl of the snack instead of bringing the box with me. Usually once I’m sitting down I can get engrossed in something enough that I don’t think (too much) about missing the rest of the mindless eating. And I’m usually too lazy to get off my butt and go into the kitchen to get a second serving, saving me from myself.
I am SO with you. I worked my ass off this past spring to compete in a bikini contest in a bodybuilding league. I was BY FAR in the best shape of my life, and the experience of setting a really difficult goal and finding, every day, the determination and willpower to get it done, was one of the most self-affirming experiences of my life. Cut to four months past the competition, and I’m completely back to the way I was before I started that goal. A lot of it is due to change in my routine and situation, like yours. And I can’t…quite…get a grip!! How did I get here AGAIN? Where did all that motivation go?
I have to admit that I’m happy it’s not just me. I’m sure you’ll end up kicking ass on this…and I have to believe that I will, too!
It’s a journey, for sure.
I can completely relate to the “food as reward while watching tv at night” thing. I think a lot of moms can.
But as many have said, if there is junk food in the house I know I will eat it, so therefore, I don’t buy it. And the crackers, chips, cookies, etc. aren’t good for kids either, so I don’t feel badly about not buying the stuff for them.
Hang in there. You’re an incredibly strong person, so I am confident you’ll figure this out.
I have been working on caring for about 6 months now, and I’ve lost 20 pounds. I will admit that I have found the progress you made in the past motivating… for instance, seeing your pictures convinced me that, regardless of what “the ideal” is, you can work out only three times a week and look and feel awesome and in shape. And, it’s true. I have a personal requirement of working out 3x a week (for myself) and I am in the the best shape I’ve been in for a long time, if not ever. I am also counting calories to lose fat, but I know that’s not for everyone.
If you like snacking, can’t you find something tasty that won’t make you gain weight to eat during your evenings relaxing, like popcorn, carrots and peanut butter, etc? Or, just take one serving with you instead of the package, and then switch to grapes.
I know that advice is nothing new, but fitness is not an all-or-nothing thing. It sounds like other than the late night snacking, you’ve got a healthy lifestyle going on, so why not make a few minor changes in your diet to keep yourself at a weight you like?
It sounds like you’ve made that decision yourself. Good luck!
Could be the weather change and life change. But good for you for noticing it. I spent 10 years of my life ignoring by body and now I am playing catch up. I am 40, chunky and also taking CrossFit. Picture that!
Just a thought (and I am sure you know this) – before you grab the sugary snacks – try drinking 12 oz of water. Then follow with whatever. With all the caffeine – maybe you are dehydrated. Also try and match a protein with the carbs. It would help. Good luck!
I hope this comment comes off as helpful and not preachy or anything, but perhaps you should look at fueling your exercise/workouts differently? I know when I’m doing frequent, intense workouts, I get nasty carb cravings, especially when I’ve been *good* all day. You probably know this, but high intensity exercise burns through glycogen stores like crazy. You may need to up your intake of carbs around your workout, or at least post-workout, and perhaps consume more healthy calories overall to fuel your workouts and lifestyle. I’m guessing you’re more active now that you’re not sitting at a desk. Maybe give it a shot and see? If it was me, I’d eat a nice big helping of carb after workout – oatmeal, potato, rice, cereal – with a bit of protein, and maybe try to fit in another healthy snack during the day in addition to what you normally eat. You deserve to be healthy and fit, not to eat junk food!! :)
I could have written this myself, only, not nearly as well.
I know what works for each person is different but, can you share what works for you?
I’m really struggling right now with motivation and importance and priorities and all that bullshit.
These are some damn good encouraging words. It really is as simple as Deciding to Care. I decide to care right at this moment!
Disclaimer: I’m a fatass. However, I know that for me it’s better to really go for it than piss away calories on something I feel “meh” about. So I’d rather eat a serving of Ben and jerry’s than mindlessly eat crap I don’t even like, because I wait for it and then eat it and then I’m satisfied and done for the night. It probably works out to be fewer calories and it’s satisfying, is what I’m saying.
Been here, done this a million times over.
I’m nearly resigned to falling off and getting back on the food wagon. Short of cutting out my stomach, my hands and my tongue, or moving to a remote Survivor show location, there doesn’t seem to be a permanent fix.
I’ve met only one person who never falls off but she has a syndrome (I won’t name) that makes her not only perfect in her eating and working out, but right about everything. She “doesn’t understand” people like me.
(I’d like to ram a crowbar down her throat.)
Oh, and a lighter option that still satisfies the craving: hot chocolate. 2T. cocoa powder, 2T. sugar (substitute), mix with a splash of water and boil. Add 1c. milk, heat, top with cool whip. It’s rich and chocolatey, takes a while to kill, and cures my cravings.
I am SO there with you! I knw I need to do better. I curse myself on a regular basis for failing…but when it comes right down to doing what I need to I fail. Like you…I’m NOT happy, but I don’t know how to change.
when i gave up smoking i decided to have hot drinks instead to cure the oral fixation. i like herbal teas and decaf coffee to keep me busy. maybe try something else with your hands like knitting? good luck!
Your honesty is so refreshing and SO relatable!!
KNITTING! Seriously, cause I have this same problem, but if I have something to keep my hands busy it helps so much. And I am NOT a crafty person. IF you feel up to cross stitch check out subversivecrossstitch.com–you can make beautiful obscenity-laden phrases to frame ad put up in your home.
How about something that looks like a lot but doesn’t add up to much, like popcorn? I mean, the plain nothing on it kind, not the loaded with artificial movie theater good God what is that crap? kind. I do this at work when I get the munchies in the afternoon and it seems to help.
At home I am fortunate in that our Man Cave is down in the basement, so if I want to get food from the kitchen for TV watching, I have to bring it down with me or haul my ass off the couch and go up and get it. Keeps the snacking to a minimum. Maybe just don’t let yourself go in the kitchen?
I absolutely could have written this exact post. The doing well all day and then foraging in the kitchen at night. The feeling gross. The endless cycle.
YES.
I’ve never commented before but I’m going to echo some of the other readers and tell you how much you’ve inspired me – I’m running my first race, a half, in January at Disney World (ironically, all that pain will occur at the happiest place on earth). And I’ve kept telling myself that I’m SINGLE and all I have is a JOB so if YOU can get your ass out of bed to run, then I have -87 excuses. All that to say –
I just read this book (I’m a geek so books help me – I know this isn’t for everyone, Hungry by Allen Zadoff. It’s thin and the chapters are sometimes just one page. He talks about how there are three kinds of eaters – normals (food is whatever – they eat till they’re full), problem (they comfort eat – have struggled off and on with weight gain and overeating but still have it somewhat under control) and overeaters (who are addicts – and he is one). He talks about eating to cope with feelings – crazy, bad, great, change, the cable was out, the sun was shining, whatever – and how he copes with his addiction. It helped me….clarify things I guess. To see that sometimes, discipline and self will and all those pep talks don’t work – they’re masking a deeper issue. And to address that before I decide to tell myself how I am EPIC FAILING AT LIFE RIGHT NOW. Because that’s about as helpful as a hammer in the face.
Fingers crossed that the above was in any way coherent – it’s Friday. And my brain is full of cotton balls and Lady Gaga on repeat, for some “awesome” reason.
I hit 300 lbs. making a habit of late-evening carbs and caring for the family/kids more than myself. I lost 110 lbs cutting sugars down and finally working out but damn is it hard to maintain that good habit! I put 20 lbs back on over the last year and am trying like hell to get it back off, redefining my eating habits that crept back in. It’s a life-long thing for us carb addicts! I agree with the folks that say replace the kid’s bad snacks with healthier stuff or stuff that you don’t like. I buy my boys crud that I wouldn’t touch even in the depths of a monster crap-carb craving (like sun-chips, ugh!) and also stuff that I won’t kill myself by eating (popcorn, 80% dark chocolate, raisins, low cal veggie dip). It’s so, so very hard to eat right, those bad habits creep in so innocuously! Good luck!
I could have written this post. Sigh. I wonder how fat I have to get to really knock this shit off??? I’m a total late night snacker and have long thought that if I would just Go To Bed at 9pm I would not only be well rested, but THIN! :)
I’m going to sound like a whackjob saying this, I’m sure, but a targeted boost of amino acids might help with cravings and the carbfest.
See? Told ya it would sound crazy. But you’re into nutrition, so maybe less crazy?
I have Night Eating Syndrome which means that I binge at night. I’m getting better but for me the key is a steady stream of protein during the day and turning off the carbs early as possible. 5-HTP is an amino acid that I take at lunch and dinner and I supplement with a two phase melatonin at night. So I agree with caradawn. For me this seems to be a serotonin related issue and the 5-HTP boosts seratonin which helps me not munch on carbs.
I also just buy healthier things to fail on when it happens. I found little pouches of pumpkin granola with flax seeds. I just put out a pouch of granola and a babybel cheese on the stove so when I fail it isn’t spoonfuls of nutella.
You might want to read “Women, Food, and God” by Geneen Roth. I was hesitant to read it at first because it had “God” in the title and I’m not the most religious person, but it’s not preachy and the “God” that she talks about can be anything/any thought. Geneen Roth provides a revolutionary look at the way we eat and the reasons why we eat. It’s definitely a worthwhile read. In addition, she has a workbook to go along with the book, that you can download at Oprah.com.
OMG. If I were as witty as you, I could’ve written that post. I have genetics on my side and I do work out fairy regularly so I look trim and fit, but you have described my biggest weakness, my dirty little secret–healthy eating habits. The nightly carb fest to “reward” myself from the constant craziness of stay-at-home mothering of 4 boys is truly out of control when I feel like crap in the morning and hate myself for not being able to control myself. If I would simply go to bed instead, I’d be so much better off-better rested with no carb binge-and yet I don’t because I tell myself I wouldn’t get a chance to appreciate the quiet time without the kids demanding my attention all day. It is a viscous cycle. Am trying desperately to get out of it because I want to enjoy and appreciate my life more.