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Aug
1
Last week JB’s parents called us with a last-minute plan. What did we think about allowing our boys to visit them for a week in Oregon? They’d come up and get them, and JB would take them home next weekend.
It was funny, we should have been jumping up and down at the idea of having our freedom for an entire week, but as soon as he got off the phone our initial response was to think of a reason to say no. A week! That’s by far the longest we’ve ever been apart from our kids.
We said yes, of course. They kids were excited about the idea, and we knew JB’s parents were looking forward to it. I also remember the summers when I would travel to visit my grandparents and how magical those times were—playing on the beach, visiting with cousins, spending time with my beloved grandma and grandpa, feeling like I was in a different world altogether. If my kids have the chance at a similar experience, it’s one of the greatest gifts I could possibly give them.
JB’s parents arrived on Saturday and left yesterday, taking the boys with them. JB got to see them one last time late Sunday morning after we realized they’d driven off without the kids’ suitcases and so JB had to haul ass down I-5 to catch up with them (ha ha ha OH EVERYONE ENJOYED THAT SO VERY MUCH), but now they’re happily settled, seven hours away.
We kept busy yesterday, and it was giddily fun to be able to see a movie without feeling the babysitter-clock ticking, and spontaneously walk to the store together late at night, and simply enjoy each other’s company without being interrupted, but oh, the house is so quiet. Their rooms are so still and silent. It is strange and spooky and just Not Right, being here without them.
I know they’re having a great time, and I’m glad we managed to fit this in before school starts. I’m glad for the opportunity to re-connect with JB and enjoy this break together. And oh my god I already can’t wait until next Sunday, when the noise and chaos has once again filled the house top to bottom.
Speaking of noise and chaos, are any of you going to BlogHer? I will be there, with all the dorkiness and anxiety of previous years plus the added social handicap of not having been around adults for at least nine straight months. Please come say hi.
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21 Responses to “Too quiet”
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I’ll be there! Hope to see you!!
Oh I will be there with several others from the Great White North. Four of us are roadtripping from Vancouver to San Diego.
Save me.
I am going to BlogHer, and leaving my 2 kids for the first time ever, so if I’m too busy weeping with a mix of home sickness and social anxiety to say hi in an intelligible way, please forgive me.
I had these same feelings when my in-laws had my son visit by himself for a week before we had my daughter. The freedom felt weird and strange. I generally felt at loose ends. We’d come home from work and have to do . . . nothing. It was great to spend time just with my husband, but it still felt bizarre. When my daughter gets old enough to go along with my son and they are both gone for a week again it will feel extra weird.
I recently came across this quote:
“Someday I am going to go to bed without toys on the floor and sippys in my sink. Things will stay where I put them and I can have nice, fragile items on display. But when I do, I will look around with a wistfulness in my heart and miss the days where vibrant imaginations ran wild and there was evidence of life happening around me all the time.”
It sounds like you’re getting a taste of that life. It’s like a good vacation spot: you love to visit, but don’t want to live there. Enjoy your time alone and the fact that it soon will end. :)
My parents took my daughter for an unexpected overnight last week and my husband and I were out of our minds with glee. I’m betting his parents will be interested in taking her in the future, but they live far away and hardly ever see her and they are not young. How can I send her away to them someday? I just don’t feel nearly as comfortable. But my parents who see her a few times a month? ANY TIME YOU WANT, PEOPLE.
When my Stepmom took our kids for a week two summers ago, it was AWFUL. I mean, there was the good stuff (alone time, etc.) but the quiet in our house was so unbearable that we were barely home.
(See you Thursday! Woo!)
As someone whose parents live a zillion miles away (and will likely never have my kid(s) for a week without me) that sounds awesome.
Oh, and I came across a blog today I thought you’d appreciate: http://crappypictures.typepad.com/crappy-pictures/ It kind of made me snort-laugh.
A month ago, my oldest stayed with my parents so it was just our 14 month old and we thought THAT was weird. This past weekend, just my husband and I went on a vacation and it was definitely weird not to be around the kids. In fact, we kind of wanted to go home early just to see them. This is totally not how I thought I’d feel!
Love the quote from Faye! I let my boys go to the beach with MIL the first week out of school. My youngest was injured on the treadmill she let him play on before they even left Sacramento…still has the scars to prove it. But they are fading and the boys had a great time. I am going through a divorce, so I have that emptiness everytime they go to their father’s house. It’s sad, but we all need a recharge now and then. And they are thriving in a house full of love and happiness instead of anger. I cherish the moments even more now!!
Enjoy your time with your fab hubbo. The excitement before you get to see them is painfully sweet!! Enjoy it all!
My two kids go away for a week every summer. I love that they are independent enough to go, and I love that they have a blast, and I love the time with hubs… and I absolutely, positively HATE that they are gone. Much too quiet. I don’t even mind when they come home with suitcases full of dirty, funky clothes!
It’s weird, isn’t it? My husband and I had this very same experience a few weeks ago. We immensely enjoyed the time to ourselves but yes…it was far too quiet.
I’ll be there, boobs and all. Can’t wait to see you, lady!
I loved summers with my grandparents (they were strangely similar to the ones you describe with yours!) – and one of the best parts of those vacations was missing my parents.
Hope you enjoy the week!
We’re having the same thing in my house. My stepkids are with their mother this summer and our little one is with my parents for two weeks. It’s strange… we don’t know how to act. We can swear with abandon and roam the house naked. Or go to the store without someone wanting a toy car. And yet we miss those buggers.
Why are your posts always so aligned with my life? Freaky. Anyway, this weekend my kids 3 and 1 are supposed to have their first overnight visit with my in laws and as much as I want a break, I’m scared as hell. It’s just one night, right? Uuuugh!
The first time my ex took my daughters for a week away (last summer, we split in May last year) was one of the most desolate weeks I’ve ever spent. I was totally alone, and spent the week sobbing and becoming a recluse. He took them again in April and they’ve just come back from their third holiday-without-me. This last time, I was still a recluse (didn’t leave the house AT ALL for 6 days) but only sobbed on the first day, as the car pulled away. Before my ex and I split, we were ALWAYS together: I work from home, he barely worked at all, we were together, almost 24/24. Being away from my girls is hard, unbearably hard, but I know they enjoy their holidays and I can’t deny them that. It’s not their fault that I become a recluse. But yeah. The silence, the lack of bickering, the lack of Disney Channel crap (Witches of Waverly Place, FTLOG), it’s weird. But I’m hoping, as I get used to this horrible “new normal”, that I’ll find ways to make the most of this time alone.
Last year around this time I resolved to attend BlogHer this year. Then my husband lost his job in December and hasn’t found a new one yet. So once again no BlogHer for me. Wish I could be there to share the awkwardness with you.
My oldest just started kindergarten yesterday. All I could think was that he was now going to be away from me more than he was with me (he goes all day). I can count on one hand the times I’ve been away from him more than a day or two. I also have a 2 yr old so the house was not quiet but it was so different. Mostly I didn’t have to referee fights which was awesome but I was so excited to pick him up and thought about him all day. So weird.
@adequatemom – I’m in nearly the same boat. Determined to get there and yet … I will be home.
It IS so weird when the house is quiet when the kids are gone. It’s a much different quiet than when they are just napping or outside or gone for a few hours. So strange.
Sorry that I won’t be able to say hello at BlogHer this year! Maybe next year :)